That stupid game.
Emily had always disliked Hot Seat but tonight may have unlocked a new level of hatred for it. Watching Alison kiss Hanna was awful. She knew it didn't mean anything, she knew Alison didn't like Hanna in that way, but still.. the image of it gave her a terrible feeling in the pit of her stomach.
She walked past the bathroom and went up the stairs to Spencer's bedroom. She needed a minute alone. It was becoming clear to her that her feelings for Alison was something she couldn't hide anymore, but now that she was dating Paige she felt an enormous amount of guilt. She liked Paige. Really, she did. Paige was easy to talk to, they had a lot in common, they got along well, but when it came to Alison.. the feelings were just different. Alison made time stop. It impossible for Emily to focus on anything else when she was in the room. Her attraction to Alison alone could have started forest fires, but it was so much more than that. It was the way Alison smiled at her, how when she touched Emily the brunette felt shockwaves throughout her body. It was the way Alison made Emily feel invincible, like the world was hers when Alison was by her side.
Even still, with all the butterflies and feelings Alison gave Emily, she still terrified her. To say that she was handful was almost an understatement. Alison wasn't perfect, Emily knew that no one was really, but she had a lot of faults that Emily had no choice but to recognize. She had seen Alison be so mean to people, cut them down like they were nothing and break hearts that she had no intention of ever loving.
When it came to Alison's feelings... sometimes she just didn't know. She wanted to believe that Alison was being honest with her intentions, but she couldn't shake the fear that Emily was just another game to her. She had seen Alison drag guys along so many times. And was she even gay? Did Alison even like girls?
Emily sat down on Spencer's bed, not bothering to cut on the lights. She shouldn't even be thinking about Alison right now. Her girlfriend was downstairs and came to the lake just for her and here she was thinking about another girl. To add insult to injury, it was a girl that Paige already hated. The situation was all kinds of screwed up.
"Em?"
She looked up to find blue eyes looking back at her. She'd love to drown herself in those eyes. She shouldn't but she'd be lying if she said she didn't want to. She moved over on the bed so Alison could sit down, "hey."
Alison took the gesture and sat next to Emily. "What are you doing in here?"
Emily's gaze fell to the floor, "I just needed a minute."
"Because of me?"
She brought her eyes up to Alison's. Of course she knew. Alison could assess a situation like it was her job. Or maybe it was embarrassingly obvious when she stormed away from the patio. "Why do you say that?"
Alison played with the string on her bathing suit bottom idly, "you left right after my dare, it just made sense."
Emily shrugged, "I guess so."
After a moment of silence Alison sighed, "what do you want from me Emily?"
"What?"
"Don't what me, we have to talk about it. We kissed today Em, and it wasn't some stupid kiss like what just happened with Hanna. It was different, this was different." The tone of Alison's voice was almost pleading. If Alison had any intention to use this against Emily, it was totally disguised to the brunette. In fact it shocked her how straight forward Alison was being about this.
Emily shifted on the bed, "I know I just-"
"So why have you ignored me all day?"
"I have a girlfriend Ali. I cheated on my girlfriend," the brunette answered as if it wasn't obvious enough. "How is that so hard for you to understand? I feel awful. I feel.. wrong."
"Why are you even with her? You're not into her the way that you're into me. You know that."
Emily shook her head, "this is all so wrong."
Alison stood up from the bed, "so pretending to be a good girlfriend and forcing yourself to create imaginary feelings for Paige isn't? You holding her in a relationship when you have feelings for someone else isn't?"
Emily put her head in her hands. She was becoming frustrated. Not at Alison, but at the truth. She didn't want to admit her feelings. She thought maybe if she didn't say it out loud she could continue to pretend like none of this happened and she could try to love Paige the way she loved... the way she loved Alison.
"Alison, stop. Let me think."
"Can you just, like, not." She took a step towards Emily and stood between her legs. When Emily didn't look at her she softly pulled the brunette's hands away her head and held them in her own hands, her fingers playing with Emily's as she spoke. "Stop overthinking Em. I know that you're in a relationship with Paige. I know that you feel bad for kissing me when you're dating her, but staying with Paige out of guilt is only hurting all three of us."
She paused as her eyes fell to their hands, "watching you with her when I know that you want me, and I.. I want you too.. it hurts."
Emily felt light-headed hearing the words come from Alison's mouth. Alison wanted her. It couldn't be real. This moment had to be a drunken imagination, right? Alison DiLaurentis just said that she.. wanted her? Sure, they kissed and it was magical and Emily felt fireworks that she never thought she would but this was different. Hearing Alison say that she wanted her was.. it was unreal.
There were times in the past when she thought maybe this could be a possibility, maybe Alison did feel something for her that was more than just platonic, but she didn't dare push it. The fear of being wrong was too great for her to ever try to make a move on the blonde. So she never did. She told herself that if Alison looked at her in that way, she would do something that made it obvious because that's the type of person that Alison is; bold, straightforward, intentional.
It wasn't until she started seeing Paige that Alison started showing it. When Paige became Emily's first girlfriend, Alison couldn't disprove anymore if she wanted to. The two got into a big argument one day about it in Emily's room when Alison had come over to hang out. Alison told Emily that she was stupid for dating Paige and that "Pigskin" was far below what Emily's standards should have been. Emily could have sworn that Alison's voice was full of jealously back then but she brushed it off, knowing that was what she had wanted to hear. She wanted to hear Alison jealous. Now looking back at it, Alison was jealous. All of Alison's actions the past month started to make sense. The touching, the sweet words, the alone time, the whispers and cuddles in the dark. All of it made sense now.
"Em?"
It broke her from her thoughts. She brought her eyes back to Alison's and took in the blonde in front of her. How could she ever deny this girl? How was she supposed to? She watched Alison's eyes dance back and forth between hers, a look of what Emily could only guess as hesitance as Alison stood in front of her. Emily could see Alison's guard coming back up the longer she didn't reply. That was the last thing that she wanted because Alison was so beautiful when she was vulnerable.
Her hands found ground on Alison's hips and pulled her forward, her knees straddling Emily's lap. She was falling in love with the feeling of Alison against her already.. maybe she had always been in love with it.
Alison's hands planted on Emily's shoulders, "Em-,"
"I want you too Ali." She brought her lips forward to connect with Alison's and the moan that escaped her lips would have been embarrassing if she wasn't lost in all that was Alison DiLaurentis.
Alison quickly took control of the kiss, her hands sliding into Emily's dark hair, grasping at the locks with her fingers. Kissing Emily was a world of a difference than any of her previous kisses. Emily's lips were soft and how well their lips moved together made Alison believe that Emily's lips were made solely for her.
When the swimmer's hands slipped lower on her hips, she found it incredibly easy to melt into Emily like she was max above a flame. Emily made her feel things that she had never felt before. When she was with the brunette it was like she couldn't control herself, like she was magnetically pulled to Emily.
Emily laid back against the bed and the blonde fell with her. When her back hit the sheets, Alison's mouth trailed down the brunette's face. Peppering kisses down her cheek, to her jaw, and to the side of her neck. Emily's eyes fluttered close when she felt Alison's tongue brush against her skin. She was almost positive that her soul left her body. Her fingers pressed deeper into Alison's hips and the slightest whisper came from her mouth, "Ali."
Alison couldn't stop the smile that tugged on her lips while she was kissing Emily's neck. Hearing Emily moan her name was unbelievably hot. She never thought she'd hear her name come from a girl in this way, but holy shit. She didn't know if it was just Emily, or if she liked girls in general, but at this point she didn't care. She knew whatever she was, she was attracted to Emily and the way she felt around her was enough. She'd figure the rest out later.
Alison released one of her hands in Emily's hair and trailed down the brunette's body. She could feel Emily's muscles reacting to every touch she made and immediately she decided she'd have fun with that at some point later.
Emily's hands left Alison's hips to tangle in blonde hair before she pulled Alison's lips back to hers. Alison hadn't even touched her there yet but Emily felt like she was about to explode. Like at any moment she could come undone. When Alison's finger touched the top of Emily's bathing suit she exhaled a gasp before-
"What the hell?"
Alison pulled her lips from Emily and the two girls immediately shot up. Emily felt her stomach flip. No. This couldn't be happening. When she looked past Alison, she saw Paige standing in the doorway. The blonde quickly rolled off of Emily's lap and stood in front of the bed. Emily tried to move but she couldn't. She felt like she was about to vomit.
"I can't- Emily what the fuck. Her? Out of all people, Alison?"
When Alison opened her mouth to respond, Paige cut her off. "Don't speak. What? Was fucking your best friend's older sister's boyfriend not enough? Or Noel Kahn? I'm sure you know that he's dating someone, but you don't care, do you? You couldn't keep your dirty hands off of him, now you just happen to fall on top of Emily and land with your hand down her pants? It kills you if everyone isn't in love with you, doesn't it? You're nothing but a narcissistic homewrecker."
Emily's mouth dropped. She had never heard Paige talk like this before, and maybe more shocking, she had never heard anyone talk to Alison like this before. She expected Paige to be hurt and obviously upset but she didn't expect this. Paige looked as if she could strangle Alison at any given moment. Emily couldn't blame her, not really. Paige hated Alison and this could have only made the betrayal that much worse.
"Paige-," Emily started.
"I swear to God Emily if you're about to defend her, her out of all people. What could you possibly see in her?"
Alison took a deep breath before she spoke. She was trying her best to remain calm. She knew she was in the wrong, but she had never let anyone talk to her like this. "Don't insult me again."
Emily hated the laugh that fell from Paige, "you're the one that just tried to screw my girlfriend, I can insult you however I want."
"Guys stop. Please," Emily pleaded.
Paige reached forward to grab Emily, "we're leaving."
When Emily didn't fight her, Alison grabbed Emily's free hand, "Em-,"
Paige flashed her eyes to Alison, "get your hands off of her. I'm sure you can find someone else in a relationship to screw around with." Paige yanked Emily forward and pushed Alison, causing the blonde to stumbled backwards.
"That's it," Alison lunged at Paige but Emily grabbed Alison's waist and pulled her back before she could reach her girlfriend. "Ali stop, that's not going to help anything."
"Oh it'll help her fucking mouth," Alison snarled.
Paige barked a laugh, "you don't want to do that." Alison glared at Paige, "I'm sure I do."
"I'm sure you don't, because if you even think about touching me, or Emily again, I'll tell everyone how Rosewood's little princess had her tongue down another girl's throat."
Emily gasped when the words came from Paige, "you know it's not okay to out someone-,"
"And you know it's not okay to cheat but you did. You're not off the hook either. If I see either one of you like this again, I'll make sure the entire school knows that you're a cheater and Alison likes to kiss girls just as much as she likes to kiss boys apparently. I think that's fair, don't you?"
"No, this isn't okay," Emily replied, "how could you think this is okay?"
"I get to watch Alison get tortured by me just like how she has tortured me all of these years I liked girls. It's almost comical. Now I get the girl that she wanted the entire time. The same girl she used to make fun of me for wanting. Karma's a bitch isn't it?" She walked to the door before turning to look at the girls. "Enjoy your last few moments together. I'll see you tomorrow, babe."