The Vampire Relationship Guide Volume one: Getting together & Copulating (Percy Jackson style)
Summary: Alisia is an average girl who just wants one thing out of life—to have a sexy vampire boyfriend. When she receives an invitation to a party thrown by one of South Carolinas richest vamps, she doesn't stop to question her luck; she just jumps into her favorite ensemble and heads out to the party of a lifetime, secretly hoping that she'll come home with the ultimate party favor.
But the mysterious undead aren't just pointy toothed hotties waiting to satisfy Alisia's vivid imagination—they are dangerous. With a single-minded focus on fulfilling her own scripted fantasies. Alisia has unwittingly propelled herself into the twisted world of vampire relationships with no one to guide her, because let's be honest the twilight saga doesn't count as a guidebook.
Note from the author: Review or Comments are welcome; just no bashing because you don't think any character in Percy Jackson is hot.
Disclaimer: I do not own the Heroes of Olympus series nor the Percy Jackson and the Olympians series or The Vampire Relationship Guide series. Rick Riordan and Evelyn Lafont.
Part 1—How to Meet a Vampire Human
Chapter 4
As I moved along into the throng of partygoers, a woman grabbed my elbow and turned me slightly to face her. She was about my height, human, and her face was covered is so much makeup I was having flashbacks to the Ringling Brothers and Barman bailey circus. She squinted her clown eyes and gave me a quick appraisal and then asked, "Are you trying to get in his pants?"
"To whom's pant do you think I am trying to get into?" I've never been certain when I should or shouldn't use whom or who, and since I didn't want to give and inch to this woman I was ready to throw down.
"Don't bullshit me, girlie. Are you trying to get into Minos's pants? Because if you are, you will regret it. You're not his type and he's a notorious playboy. He uses women and then throws them away. He tells them what they want to hear, plays with their hearts, then moves on to the next one in line. "
Miffed and a bit worried, I asked the question that slithered its way up my spine, "Why are you telling me this?"
"Oh, you poor, naïve little girl. I've seen children like you drawn in to his web, a fly to a spider. I only thought it right to warn you before you were too ensnared to escape, but you may do as you wish."
"When you say that, do you mean he's the pedophile waiting for little girls on the side of the street, or that he's done something similar to someone you know." I fidgeted slightly panicking on the inside, my mind running a mile-a-minute with one disturbing vision after another.
She dropped my arm and cupped my face looking at me like I was some little lost child, and I supposed she was right. Then, as if waking herself out of her own daydream, she shook her head patted my shoulder and walked away. Since my party experience definitely seemed to be headed from hell and back in a handbasket I decided to check out.
I made my way to the door when someone tapped me on the shoulder; a chill went up my spine. I turned to see a waiter with a tray of tapas. "Sorry Sir, I'm leaving and I really don't need any tapas to go."
He looked confused and hesitated. "Alisia?"
"Yes?"
"Ah, Mr. King asked me to give this to you." He took a business card out of his pocket and handed it to me. I took it and he remained standing there, so I pulled the card up to my face and read it. The front of the card had Minos's business telephone and email and on the back was a handwritten cell phone number along with a request for me to give the waiter my number.
I glanced away from the waiter and saw Minos facing my direction. He was nodding his head at the vampire standing in front of him but his eyes were reaching out to me from across the room. That was the biggest discouragement ever. With shaky hands I pulled my eyeliner pencil out of my purse and grabbed the waiter's palm and jotted down my number on his hand hoping it would be reduced to black smudge.
I looked up patted him on the shoulder and said in a low sincere voice, "Have a nice night and see that you smear that number into illegible squiggles."
The waiter smirked and saluted me, then sashayed off toward the kitchen holding his empty hand clenched and by his side.