Draco Malfoy was certain that he had never felt so utterly caught off guard as he did in that moment. His mind stumbled for a coherent thought, one that would allow him to respond to his son's question without embarrassing himself or the witch who had so suddenly intruded on his visit with Potter. He was contemplating an appropriate response at the same time he was attempting to slow his racing heart beat that had steadily increased the moment his eyes met the blushing witch standing across the room from him. She was starring wide eyed, face bright pink, eyes darting from him to his son to Harry and finally landing on his son once more, looking every bit of embarrassed as Draco imagined she felt at that moment.
Quickly clearing his throat, in hopes to portray some semblance of unaffectedness, he opened his mouth to speak but Potter was quicker to ease the awkward tension that lingered in the air.
"It's a toy." Their host said cheekily and Draco noticed Hermione's eyes dart to Harry's, her cheeks were burning a bright color.
"Oh, I love toys. I've never played with a-a... muggle toy." Scorpius turned his wide eyes, blinking up at Hermione. "Is it as fun as my Quidditch set?"
Sensing Hermione's growing discomfort as she seemed to fumble for a response Harry laughed as he explained, "It's a grown up toy Scorp."
"Oh," Scorpius nodded in understanding and then turned to Hermione who seemed to be attempting to control her breathing.
"Harry, I-I didn't know you would have guests- I should go-"
"Nonsense." Harry stood and reached for the chair next to him, pulling it backwards. He glanced over at Draco, "We were just discussing work stuff anyways. I'm sure Malfoy doesn't mind."
It was clear that was his cue to speak. Clearing his throat once more, Draco nodded, remembering his manners and stood, gesturing towards the chair Harry was standing behind. He felt foolish for not standing sooner, as he had been taught to always respect a woman's entrance, but considering her abrupt entrance he wondered if he should be standing at all and felt awkward for doing so.
"Not at all. Please. Join us." He heard the slight rise in his voice, sounding almost pleading and he flexed his fingers at his sides hoping to shove the awkward tension out of his fingertips.
Hermione dropped her gaze from Draco's and looked to Harry.
"I truly don't want to impose..."
"Hermione." Harry said returning to his seat. "Sit down already. You're welcome here anytime. You know that."
"Right, but-" Hermione closed her mouth the moment Harry shot her a look, lifting his brows. She sighed and gave him a sad smile, sitting in the chair across from Draco. She avoided looking at him as Harry wandlessly made her a plate and it appeared before her. She mumbled a thanks and glanced around the table before adding, "I'm sorry for intruding..."
"You know I don't mind." Harry said, taking a bite from his plate. "What brings you by anyway?"
Draco had forgotten his manners once more as he watched Hermione survey Potter's company with a furrowed brow. She lifted her fork and as if remembering why she had come in yelling, she frowned at her plate, taking a forceful bite out of the pasta.
"Well, I hadn't exactly planned to barge in but I needed a quick escape and didn't really think before apparating..." She started and then glanced at Draco and dropped her gaze almost immediately.
He felt like he should say something, but the entire situation felt unreal to him, as if he was having an out of body experience watching it all play out.
"Escape? Weren't you on a date?" Harry asked with an amused look in his eyes.
"I'm sorry-" She suddenly said, glancing at Scorpius who had been regarding the new witch with an innocent curiosity. He had, it seemed, remembered his manners and was not speaking until he was spoken to. Hermione smiled weakly at the small boy, reaching her hand towards him. "I've been terribly rude. Haven't I? I'm Hermione. You must be-"
"Scorpius." Draco finished for her, causing her eyes to dart to his. He saw the small pink tint on her cheeks return and he sat up a little straighter. "My son."
Her lips twitched slightly on the corner of her mouth as she turned her attention back to the younger Malfoy.
"Of course. It's lovely to finally meet you, Scorpius. Your father and I went to school together. I'm Hermione Granger."
The small boy lifted his hand to grab her extended one, taking Hermione by surprise as he placed a light kiss on the back of her hand. Draco tried to suppress his amused smirk at the way her eyebrows rose to her hairline and glanced over at Harry who had let out a bark of a laugh.
"Hermione Granger?" Scorpius said, letting his small hand fall back to the table as Hermione smiled down at him. Draco noticed his son's peaked interest as he sat up straighter, almost bouncing in his seat, glancing from his father back to Hermione. "You're Mr. Harry Potter's best friend? You helped him find and kill the big snake at Hogwarts and-a-and you flew on the back of Dragon, helping Mr. Harry Potter escaping the evil Goblins, and you were the witch who-"
"Scorpius." Draco said in a clipped tone, knowing that his son's stutter only happened when he was excited. It was not how Malfoy's presented themselves and Scorpius immediately shut his mouth, lowering his head and mumbling an apology; though Draco was slightly amused at the expression of embarrassment that grazed Hermione's features at his son's excited recollection of her actions during the war.
Hermione's stare caught Draco's, he forced his features to remain passive as he explained himself.
"That rubbish children's book they published about the three of you following the war- 'The Adventures of Harry Potter and Friends ' happens to be Scorpius' favorite bedtime story." Draco said hiding his distaste with little effort, he felt Potter's amused stare on the side of his face making his shoulders stiffen, his eyes returning to Hermione's puzzled expression. "You happen to be his favorite character."
"Oh, that's brilliant!" Harry said, laughing as Hermione's face returned to a complete deep shade of pink once more. "Please tell me you read it to him Malfoy."
Draco pressed his lips into a firm line as he glared at Harry who only began laughing louder at his reaction.
"Father does the best voice's." Scorpius supplied eagerly. "I especially like Ron Weasley's voice father does. It's the funniest-"
Scorpius stopped talking the moment his father repeated his name and Draco noticed Hermione had joined Harry in laughing now.
"I believe you were explaining your reason for visiting, Granger." Draco said firmly, ignoring the brief halt in their previous conversation.
Hermione nodded, taking another bite with a smile still on her lips.
"Well, yes, but I would much rather hear your brilliant imitation of each character." She mused, lifting her glass to her lips. "I would imagine you would be unkind in my voice portrayal. You never did enjoy my excessive talking in school."
"Although that is entirely true, I only perform in the comfort of my own home so you'll simply have to be satisfied with your imagination in regards to my story telling abilities, Granger."
She smiled and took a sip of her drink. Draco noticed Harry's furrowed brow as his eyes darted between the two of them and Draco quickly dropped his eyes form hers. If Harry noticed the way their eyes lingered on one another he opted not to voice it.
"Right," Harry said glancing at his best friend. "So are you going to let us in on why you were in need of a sudden escape? I thought Fredrick was rather interesting. You two both have a passion for creatures and such. Ginny was sure you'd find him agreeable."
Hermione scoffed, taking another sip of her drink.
"Agreeable? Harry have you ever spoken to the man? Also, I am interested in the care for magical creatures while that man's only interest was in himself. I'm quiet certain the only reason he became a Chief Regulator for International Creature Control and Regulation was to entertain himself with the delusion that his occupation is interesting and convince whichever pour soul who has the displeasure of encountering him of the same."
"Wow. That awful then?"
"Unbearably so." Hermione sighed at her best friend and then a ghost of a smile crept on her face. "Harry, I left before we even ordered appetizers. Right in the middle of his sentence. I'm didn't even announce that I was leaving. I just- I just left."
Draco smirked at this and Harry stared at her.
"You didn't."
Hermione nodded at her best friends look of disbelief and lifted her hands to her face to cover her face.
"Oh, I'm going to strangle Ginny!" She said lifting her head once more, with a mixture of embarrassment and amusement. "I haven't even mentioned the worst of it."
"Would I be correct to assume you are referring to the part where he insulted the importance of literature?" Draco offered, and his smirk grew as she blinked several times at him before speaking.
"Um, yes." She breathed out and smiled across the table at him, something in her eyes looked uncertain though as if she was seeing something that wasn't there moments ago. "Actually, that was what motivated my leaving so quickly."
"Is that why you called him re-pug-gent?" Scorpius inquired from Draco's left and he glanced at his son to notice he was starring up at Hermione with genuine interest. It often caused Draco to pause when his son made him forget how clever he could be, keeping up with adult conversations and also inquiring what each word or phrase meant. He was often impressed with how well spoken his five year old was, but was also often reminded how much he needed to sensor himself around his son, as he learned much too quickly and was entirely too observant for a five year old.
"Repugnant. Yes. Fredrick is repugnant in every sense of the word, which means extremely distasteful." Hermione explained and Draco was reminded of her raised hand years ago, answering a question prompted by their professor. He smiled to himself at the memory as he never believed Hermione Granger would be explaining anything to him ever again, let alone his son.
"Repugnant." Scorpius repeated, nodding once and thinking for a moment before speaking to Hermione again. "Narcissa's porridge is repugnant. She always makes me eat it on Sunday's, and it is repugnant."
Draco forgot to reprimand his son for speaking poorly of his Grandmother as Hermione's shoulders bouncing with laughter distracted him.
"He calls your mother by her first name?" Harry asked Draco then pulling him out of the trance he seemed to keep slipping into whenever Hermione laughed.
"Oh, yes. My mother abhors the word Grandmother." Draco explained with a shrug. "She prefers Scorpius not associate her with anything hinting at her age. I didn't particularly like it initially, but it wasn't worth fussing over. Astoria found it distasteful and insisted Scorpius call her Grandmother, but my mother won in the end, as she usually does. Though I never heard the end of it. It was never enjoyable to be around the two of them when they didn't agree."
"I was sorry to hear about her death." Harry said after several moments, his eyes were intent on Draco who only nodded, not able to glance at the witch across from him who was surely looking at him with a similar pity in her eyes.
"What brought on you two having dinner tonight anyway? I wasn't aware you two spent time together outside of work." Hermione said breaking the tension in the room.
"Oh. Well, I told you I was working on an assignment with Malfoy. I looked into your hunch and you were right. The texts you recommended did reference a similar time traveling instance occurring in Africa during the 16th century. I wanted to inform Malfoy immediately so he could get approval from his department to look into the archives for that specific time period as the approval process can take weeks... as you already know."
"I thought you said it was your unwavering instincts that helped you stumble upon the information Potter." Draco said narrowing his eyes at him.
"Oh, er- well, I did say that. Didn't I?" Harry stammered and attempted to not look caught in a lie.
"Oh, save it Harry. It's only Malfoy. He can keep a secret." Hermione said, smiling over at him, lifting a brow. "Can't you Malfoy?"
Draco swallowed unsure what to make of her focused gaze.
"Harry always comes to me when he needs help with his cases." She explained before Draco had time to answer.
He was aware that meant that she could, in fact, trust him with what she was saying and he felt his chest tighten. When did that happen? He wondered.
"I see." Draco drawled, tilting his head to left, lifting a brow as his eyes met Harry's nervous ones. A smirk spread across Draco's lips, "I suppose this is why you're always one step ahead of the other Aurors. You've got Granger's brain as a secret weapon- not very admirable for the Chosen One considering everything in our line of work is meant to remain confidential."
Harry could hear Draco's teasing in his words and just shrugged with a smile pulling at his lips.
"It would be a disservice to the Wizarding World not to."
Draco couldn't help but laugh at that and he felt Hermione watching him.
It was hard for her to not stare at him. He caught her eyes lingering on him as he laughed at Harry and her cheeks warmed with the strange sensation that happened most times she lingered her eyes on him too long. She was entirely aware of how bizarre this night was as she glanced around the table. Harry and Draco were laughing with one another as they agreed that her mind was worth breaking the rules for. It was as if the earth tilted and they were existing in a new universe where Draco Malfoy had never been the Draco Malfoy they once new in school.
"I suppose it's getting close to time for us to leave." Draco said, pulling her attention back to the present. She didn't miss the heavy weight that formed in her stomach as he mentioned leaving. He glanced at her as he pulled his glass to his lips and she blushed dropping her gaze.
"But father, you promised that Mr. Harry Potter would let me see his broom collection before we left." Scorpius said, and Hermione couldn't help but wonder how a five year old could seem so mature. He was very formal whenever he spoke, much like his father.
"Well if it's alright with your father I can take you upstairs right now. I've even got a snitch around here somewhere you can keep for practicing when you're older." Harry said and Hermione watched as the small boy's bright blue eyes lit with excitement, the only time she was reminded that he was indeed a child.
"Please father. We won't be long."
Draco sighed as he stared at his son for a moment and then waved his hand above him as if shooing them away.
Draco pushed his seat back "Fine, then. Let's be quick about it."
Harry stood first and moved to join Scorpius. "I'll take him. You finish your drink. We won't be long."
Hermione didn't miss the added glance Harry made between Draco and herself and she narrowed her eyes at him, sensing he was plotting something in that scattered brain of his. He reached for the bottle of whisky in the middle of the table and filled Hermione's cup, smirking at her.
"I'll be along shortly, have a drink or two. You deserve it after the terrible night you had." Harry said and squeezed her shoulder. He glanced from her over to Draco, laughing as he said, "Surely Malfoy will be slightly better company than Fredrick."
"I appreciate the compliment, Potter." Draco said lifting his glass with a sneer.
"Let's go Scorp." Harry said and the two of them retreated down the hallway and up the stairs.
Hermione instantly reached for the glass and took a long sip before gaining enough courage to glance over at Draco who was watching her, seemingly pondering over what to say to break the silence. She took another sip and then sit it down, smiling at him and then glancing around the room.
"I must say I hadn't imagined my night ending quite like this. Arriving at my best friends flat to find Draco Malfoy and his son having dinner like it's the most normal thing to happen on a Saturday evening."
His lips twitched in the corner of his mouth as he took a long sip from his glass.
"Let me guess, you were planning to end your night wrapped in the arms of some prestigious dragon wrangler, or when that went horribly spend your efforts with that, what was it you called it... muggle vibrator?"
If Hermione hadn't swallowed the sip of her whisky moments before that she was sure it would have spilled our of her mouth at his words. She felt her cheeks burn a bright pink and Draco's smirk grew as he let out a small laugh.
"Apologies, that was my attempt dissolving the tension..."
Hermione quickly took another sip, trying to think of something clever to say but found that she couldn't while her mind thought of Draco thinking of her in either situation he described.
"I think you managed to increase it actually. A skill you've mastered over the years as I recall." She finally said and noticed he hadn't dropped his eyes from hers once. His facial expression remaining impassive.
"Yes. I do seem to have that effect in most situations following the war."
Hermione felt a terrible dread build in her stomach and immediately regretting opening her mouth.
"I-I didn't mean- What I meant to say is..." She struggled to be honest with him as this was the first real conversation they had ever had together. While she often passed him at work and at formal events they were rarely alone for more than a few moments. She dropped her gaze to the amber liquid in her drink as she spoke. "What I meant to say is that I'm not certain what to make of the person you've become. It's difficult to rationalize why I feel comfortable with you considering our past, but I do- feel comfortable with you, that is."
She heard how small her voice sounded in her ears, but managed to keep speaking.
"Perhaps that's why you think you have that effect on other situations because people aren't sure what to make of you because they don't really know you are."
She lifted her eyes to see him starring intently at her like he was conflicted with what she was saying, but also considering every word with deep concentration.
"I'm positive knowing me would not change the effect my presence has on people, but rather worsen it further." He countered.
"I would bet that you're wrong," she said simply, "and if you were to let someone in then it would only take an open mind for them to realize everything you have to offer."
Draco leaned forward then, "And what is it you believe I am keeping from the world Granger? What hidden sentiment am I harboring for my own indulgence that I would not willing portray to the world-? To you-? Or are you implying you've witnessed such sentiments?"
Hermione tensed at his blunt approach though he hardly seemed bothered by her words.
"It's curious..." He continued, sensing her lack of a rebuttal. "You must have put some thought into this as you seem quite certain in your deduction of my character." He lowered his voice slightly and Hermione saw something in his eyes flash when he spoke. "What was it that caused you to feel comfortable around me? Cause I assure you, whatever it was that led you to feel that way, was done so unintentionally."
She wasn't surprised to hear him say this. When they did speak it often led to him bickering with her, or she would often overhear him dismissing other co-workers attempt in congratulating him with his progress at the Ministry. He rarely accepted kind words when directed at him specifically, especially from her. Overtime Hermione had found it endearing because it was a terribly ironic thought, Draco Malfoy bashful, feigning modesty; though she thought she knew the true reason for him pushing others away- he didn't feel he deserved such praise.
She leaned across the table as he was, both of them leaning on their elbows with their drinks in hand, challenging one another with a hard stare.
"It must be exhausting to constantly keep people out, pushing them away. I'm not sure how you manage it."
Before he could remark a sad smile grew on her face that caused him to firmly clench his jaw. She glanced down at her drink and then back at him. He was tense as he regarded her, but the warm feeling in her veins from the whisky gave her the slight courage she needed to keep her eyes locked on his. She felt like there was a magnet in his stare, pulling her into the icy abyss.
"I know you visit the graves at midnight on the anniversary of the Battle... after everyone else has gone." She began and saw his brow pull together. "I know you have financially supported more than one of my non-profit organizations and reform policies, generously and in secret. I know you spent an additional year helping to rebuild Hogwarts, a year that was not required of you by the Ministry and separate from your probation." Her smile twitched wider, "I can also see how much you love your son. I see it in the way you speak to him with respect and how you seem to brighten with a sense of pride in your features whenever he asks questions. I'd even bet to wager that you're a wonderful father. Harry's complimented your cleverness several times over the years, everyone who works with you at the Ministry speaks to how impressed they are at how proficient you are in your line of work." She nodded once then, "So, to answer your question: Yes. Yes, I have witnessed such sentiments and I believe my witnessing them is what has allowed me to feel comfortable around you... but I have a terrible habit of paying too close attention to people and subjects that are something of an enigma to me, others don't particularly obsess over finding answers as much as I do. My curiosity has always been one of my best and worst traits, I've been told..."
There was a very long pause as Draco seemed to be searching for a reason she had just admitted all of that to him. His eyes were scanning her face and she suddenly felt slightly exposed, but was only able to regret it for a moment before he broke the silence.
"An enigma you say?"
Hermione shifted under his focused stare and cleared her throat trying to dissolve some of the tension in her dry throat. She wasn't sure what to expect in regards to his reaction to her sudden need to tell him how closely she had actually been paying attention to him over the years. She wondered if he would laugh or get angry or- she wasn't sure really as she honestly did not know him at all- only what she theorized in her mind and what if she was completely off and he was exactly the prat he'd always been-
"Yes, something that is puzzling or difficult to understand-"
"I'm aware of the definition, Granger." He cut in before she could finish. His fingers, she then noticed, had tightened around the glass on the table in front of him. "What is puzzling to me is why you thought it worth your time to consider me at all."
"Oh, well-" She lifted her hand to tuck a piece of hair behind her ear, her mind feeling more hazy than it had been when she arrived and maybe she shouldn't have had a glass of whisky after an entire bottle of wine. "I suppose- I, um... I'm not entirely sure."
A small shaky laugh escaped her as she struggled to find the right words. Her eyes continued to glance from his gaze down to her hands where she was gripping the glass almost as tightly as he was and back to his unwavering stare. She wished she could portray the same sense of calm confidence that he always seemed to personify in any situation.
"Well, I began keeping up with you after your trial..." She swallowed nervously. "What you said that day- I-I thought about it often and it occurred to me what it must have been like for you during the war. I hadn't ever considered it that way before you... so, whenever your name came up in conversation with Harry, or I saw you or your family in the Prophet I... I don't know, I suppose I-" She shrugged, letting another shaky breath clear her dizzied mind, forcing a small smile. "I wanted to know that you were able to start over- have a second chance, you know? I thought you deserved a better hand than the on you were dealt..."
He appeared to be frozen, not even his eyelids blinked to indicate that he had heard a word of what she said. She anxiously laughed again, hoping he would stop staring and say something- anything!
"Malfoy." She said studying him. She saw his fingers twitch where they were still clasped firmly around his glass. "If you don't say something in the next five seconds I'm going to assume that I've properly shocked you into a catatonic state and I'm going to have to call Harry to come revive you."
"I, um-" He stuttered through a shaky breath, clearing his throat and clenching his jaw. He brought his glass to his lips and finished its contents, placing it lightly and slowly onto the table once more as if trying to buy more time before looking up at Hermione, who was watching him intently with a worried expression. His eyes shot to hers then and Hermione held back the need to look away from the sheer intensity of them. When he spoke, his voice was hardly above a whisper and the delicacy of it tore at something in Hermione's chest. "Were you there that night? The last anniversary of the Battle... at the graveyard? I thought- Merlin ... I thought-"
He shut his eyes then, shaking his head, then opening them watching her for several moments.
"I was." She said. "I saw you, but I didn't want to intrude so I- um, I left. I wasn't exactly in the right mindset to talk and it looked like you were determined to be alone. But then, the next morning I ran into you at the Ministry and-" A wave of embarrassment flowed into her veins and across her skin, heating her cheeks. "-and I'm sorry- I'm just now realizing how absolutely absurd I sound. I sound like a stalker , don't I?"
She felt her cheeks burning bright red as she tore her stare away from his and suddenly she wished she had never gotten out of bed that morning. The sound of a breathy laugh caught her attention though and she quickly glanced up to see Draco smiling at her, running both hands through his hair and leaning forward resting on his elbows. His fingers remained locked in his pale blonde hair as he continued laughing, shaking his head slightly.
"You're... you're laughing? Why are you laughing?" She said slowly, feeling a thousand time more embarrassed and confused than she had all night.
"Merlin, Granger- I," He smiled then, more to himself than at her. "I thought I was fucking loosing my mind. I saw you- or at the time I thought it was just my mind playing fucking tricks on me- punishing me."
"Punishing you?"
His smile faltered. He nodded, swallowing uncomfortably. "Um, yeah- my mind has a tendency to torture me for my past mistakes. Particularly on that day and often in the form-"
He stopped speaking suddenly as if realizing what he was confessing and who he was confessing to...
"In the form of what?" She asked softly.
There was a long pause.
"My deepest regrets."
They remained silent for several moments letting his words float around the room and linger in the air until it was all either of them could hear.
"You're one of them." His voice was so fragile. Hermione felt her heartbeat thump slower in her chest like it was trying to contemplate if it was important to work when Draco Malfoy was confessing his regrets to her, or if it would be better to simply fade away to avoid the look of hurt on his face that was so painful to watch. "As is Fred Weasley, Remus Lupin, Ernest McMillen, Rupert Lance, Tiffany Bulfield-" He swallowed then, his eyes firmly on the table between them. "Every person whose suffering could have been prevented had I not made the choices that I did."
Hermione wasn't sure she could say anything that he had not heard before. It had been several years after all and if he still felt responsible for their deaths- what could she possibly say or do that would take that pain away?
"So you can see why I would find it entirely unwarranted for you, or any other witch or wizard who knows of my past, to believe me redeemable or worthy of a second chance, let alone a happy ending."
He didn't lift his eyes to hers again. Instead he kept them firmly on the oak table with his brows furrowed together, lost in thought.
Hermione noticed her breathing had stopped and suddenly felt like gasping for air, but only managed a ragged breath that almost sounded like a sob. She tried to fathom what he could be feeling, but could only manage to imagine what he meant by his mind playing tricks on him- his incorporeal regrets accompanying him to visit the graves of those he felt responsible for killing. She tried to imagine him seeing her visit him that night and wondered what he imagined she thought of him now. Would his mind's version of her blame him for the deaths of her friends? She hoped not. She didn't want any form of her, real or not, to cause him any more pain than what he already placed upon himself.
'... and I will tell my son one day of the bravery of the three Gryffindors with a sense of regret and pride; regret for not being the man my son would one day call a hero, and pride knowing that even so, those heroes awarded me a second chance to become one... for him.'
Hermione had replayed his words from his trial in her mind so many times that she found it difficult to imagine he could still think himself unworthy of second chances.
"Worthiness does not depend on others opinions, but it does stem from the perception of oneself- and it appears you've allowed your self perception to remain in the past..."
Hermione said feeling more certain of herself than she had all night. Something about seeing the man before her, a man she had observed to be selfless, giving, loyal, and honest, and the exact opposite of what she once believed, seeing him in pain ignited something in her to help him see what she saw.
"I think you're wrong if you think you don't deserve happiness," she continued, "and if you removed your sights off the past you would see that you've managed to find it all on your own- your new beginning and second chance to be the type of person you want to be... for your son; from what I can tell you are already that person." Hermione felt his eyes on her now, but she didn't look up. She wasn't sure she wanted to see his reaction to her words.
"Revolutionary, Granger... truly." Draco's voice sounded rough, but it lacked its usual bite. She glanced up to see him narrowing his eyes at her. "It must be all very straight forward to you, but I assure you, it is not... If I could forget the past don't you think I would have tried that already? I can't sit here and listen to you, you of all people, tell me that I deserve anything. So please-" He shut his eyes firmly for emphasis, like it pained him to look at her. "-please, stop making me out to be some changed man. The only thing that has changed is that now I have a son and a dead wife- a son who will one day learn that his father was a coward, not a hero- and a dead wife who only married me out of some sick obligation of outdated traditions, honor and duty-"
His eyes remained shut as he forced the words through gritted teeth, each word felt like a nail was being hammered into Hermione's chest.
"I wasn't brave enough to fight against Voldemort- I wasn't strong enough to stand up to my father- I wasn't selfless enough to keep my mother safe- I wasn't attentive enough to realize that my wife was disintegrating right before my eyes- and I'm terrified for the day that my son will realize that his father will never be enough..."
Hermione watched his shoulders shaking slightly as he seemed to be struggling to catch his breath. His fists were clenched firmly on the table and his head was hovering over the table. It was difficult for her to remain seated when all she wanted to do was to cross the room and comfort him somehow, but she didn't. She just remained seated as her insides felt as if they were slowly being filled with dense lead, weighing her down. The feeling was not foreign to her. She often felt her insides grow heavy until she numbed the discomfort completely and it remained in the back of her mind until she let her guard down and it returned full force. Though it usually only resurfaced when she was alone, in the silence with her thoughts, and she often wondered if the woman she was would ever be enough for anyone too...
It was an awful, yet comforting, sentiment to share with someone. Some part of her wanted to tell him that she felt the same, but knew what he was explaining was far more intense than any sense of loneliness she felt.
At hearing him speak of his late wife she felt a terrible stinging in her veins as she tried to image what it would be like to loose the mother of your child before your child even saw his fourth birthday. If Draco's intent was to make her think less of him, he had somehow managed to only confirm her suspicions of the type of person she believed he had become. He had also just been vulnerably honest with her and it occurred to her that for all of the wonderful things she had witnessed him do over the years, in the shadows and without recognition, she had never thought of how lonely he must be. She never heard of him getting drinks with any of his coworkers after work or him having friends at all.
No wonder he was unable to escape his misery and past mistakes. All he did was spend time with his mother and his son, both of which he clearly loved immeasurably, but both equally a reminder of all the ways he believes he failed them.
"Malfoy..." She finally managed to conjure up the strength it took to say something. He slowly lifted his eyes to hers and she could sense the pain, though he masked it well.
"I'm sorry." He said quickly, raking both of his hands through his now messy platinum hair. "I don't know why I just-"
"Would you like to have dinner with me?"
He blinked once, then twice.
"Why are you- I-I don't, um-
Hermione tilted her head to the side and repeated slowly, "Draco Malfoy. Would you like to have dinner with me?"
He blinked again, but seemed to shake himself from wherever his mind had been a moment ago. He cleared his throat.
"Yes..?"
"Yes?" She repeated, smiling at the confused look on his face.
"Um," He swallowed and despite his confusion seemed to be unable to hide the twitch of an amused smirk on the corner of his mouth. "Are you asking me out?"
She shrugged. The small amount of confidence she had moments ago seemed to be dwindling rapidly. She reached for her glass and took a sip and then reached for the bottle to pour a little more as she avoiding his eyes and said, "It could be considered a date... or it can simply be a dinner with a friend."
"Hermione Granger is asking me out on a date?" He repeated, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms over his chest, both brows lifted high in utter amusement.
She wanted to slap the smirk on his face, but also keep starring at it? She wasn't sure exactly.
"You're currently in Harry Potter's dining room, having dinner..." She pointed out.
"This isn't some fulfillment project for you is it?" He asked, narrowing his eyes at her in distrust.
"What?"
"Fulfillment project- you know, like how you were constantly feeling bad about the treatment of elves back in school," he leaned forward again placing his arms on the table still narrowing his eyes at her, "so you spent time with them in the kitchens to help them feel less like servants- or how you petitioned the Magical Creature Reformation Act three years ago, pushing for werewolves to have the same legal rights as witches and wizards- or like the time you wrote to the Minister every day for a year about the injustice of the conditions for prisoners in Azkaban, revoking the one shower a year rule-"
"Well, now look whose been paying attention. Looks like we've both been keeping tabs on one another." She said smugly and he rolled his eyes.
"Answer the question."
"No," She answered truthfully. "I'm not asking you to have dinner with me because I pity you, nor do I think I will get any type of fulfillment out of spending time with you. I doubt it will be pleasurable in the slightest."
She smirked as she said the last bit and he returned the gesture.
"Hmm, good- so long as you aren't plotting ways you think you can fix me in that overactive brain of yours. Just because I just had a momentary mental break down in front of you doesn't mean I want to talk about any of it ever again. Potter's been forcing this whisky in me all night and I'm no good at filtering myself when I'm tipsy."
"Noted." She said, taking a sip of her own drink, feeling equally as uncertain of the amount of alcohol in her system, which was likely why she hadn't taken her eyes from his and felt brave enough to repeat her earlier request as a demand instead of a question. "Have dinner with me. Friday night at my place. I'll cook something spectacular and we can ignore our demons and not talk about all the reasons we feel inadequate all night."
Draco glanced her over once. "What do you have to feel inadequate about?"
"Uh-uh," she scolded shaking her head. She moved to her feet slowly, feeling a bit dizzy by the motion but ignored it as her vision regained focus. "Friday. We'll not talk about it Friday."
Draco seemed to laugh in disbelief, either at the situation or her she couldn't be certain. She lifted her brows and crossed her arms waiting for an answer. He stood to his feet and took two strides over to her and she felt her cheeks burn once she realized he was closer than necessary to give an answer. Determination set in her though and she tilted her head back so that she could continue to hold his stare. He was much taller than her, even with her heels on.
She hadn't thought of what he would look like from so close up, but quickly amended that she should have and even if she had she would have never been able to conjure him correctly. The subtle distinctions she had never taken the time to notice before were all on display for her to notice now: the icy color of his eyes actually held specks of silver reminding her of crystalized gems, his nose was not as sharp as she had once imagined, his lips were almost more alluring and full, and the perfect structure of his jaw was almost to unfair to be real.
Hermione suddenly realized they had both been studying the other, seemingly for the first time, for several moments. The twitch of his mouth caught her attention and she had to remind herself to bring her eyes up to his eyes after another beat.
"Fine." He said eventually and she tensed the moment she felt his fingers gently rest on the side her hips, moving slowly over her ribs and lightly pressing into the fabric of her dress. She managed a sharp intake of breath as he closed the small gap between them and then she felt his cheek lightly teasing the side of her face as he leaned forward, his mouth grazed the hair tucked behind her ear. The heat from his sudden proximity cause all of the hairs on the back of her neck to rise, as if saluting him for being able to entice such a reaction out of her. "Though, I will definitely be considering it a date and I guarantee pleasure will be had-"
Her earlier words regarding any type of pleasure spun on his lips was damn near hypnotizing to her. He pulled back, a playful smirk lighting his features making Hermione swallow, unable to keep up with the buzz in her veins, the tingling of her skin, and the utter amazement that this moment was happening at all.
"-or at the very least, I swear to not insult your intelligence like your former man of interest did earlier this evening."
Hermione managed to gain her wits about her enough to scoff, "I had zero interest in that man and as for you not insulting my intelligence- I'll raise you one and request that you not insult me at all. Should be a challenge for you..."
Draco frowned, and Hermione felt a fluttering in her stomach as his eyes glanced from her mouth back to her eyes. If it bothered him that they were still pressed against one another he didn't show it, instead his hold on her waist seemed to tighten slightly. They were definitely both one drinks in too many... This would never happen otherwise right?
"Where's the fun in that, Granger? I happen to know you find my insults charming, because even in their simplest form they reveal how clever I can be."
Hermione narrowed her eyes up at him, realizing her hands were wrapped gently around his biceps unsure when she had done that. She blamed it on her need to steady herself, to keep her from swaying, yes, that's why she was holding him.
"If we're to be considering Friday as a date then I think we can begin using each others first names, Draco." She smiled sensing his body tense at hearing his first name coming from her. The reaction giving her a boldness to slowly move her hands from his arms to his chest until she wrapped them around his neck, pressing their chests together. His eyes were moving from her eyes to her mouth more frequently, making her head spin. Her voice was low as she continued, "As for what I consider charming, I can admit with only slight embarrassment that I do enjoy your reaction to the fright of my hair on rainy days, and you can be quite creative when you attempt to describe the ways it resembles a natural disaster."
She was only vaguely aware that he had begun to lower his head as she had already closed her eyes and was awaiting what she hoped would come next. The faintness of his breath filtered across her lips, reminding her of how much whisky they had both been drinking and his hands moved from her waist until they clasped around her throat, his thumbs tracing the line of her jaw. She wondered if he could feel the rapid pace at which her heartbeat was thumping in her throat.
A loud 'THUNK' resounded above them and Hermione's eyes shot open.
"MALFOY! HERMIONE!"
Harry's voice shouted down the stairs and Draco immediately ran down the hall and sprinted up the stairs, taking three at a time. Hermione hurried behind him, slower, as the alcohol seemed determined to make her unable to control her legs completely.
As she finally caught up to Draco and found him in the doorway of one of Harry's guest rooms she had to peer around his shoulder to see what had caused Harry to call out to them in a panic. Hermione heard an odd sort of laugh come from Draco, it was like a bark more than a true laugh and she eventually managed to shove past him to see what was so amusing.
"Harry Potter!" She exclaimed, taking in the mess of a room before her.
Harry was firmly planted upside down on the far wall hovering several feet in the air, his face bright pink and body covered in feathers. Hermione's eyes darted around the room, pillows were thrown about, all of them emptied of their cushioned contents, the far desk on the other end of the room was upturned, the tall lamp had fallen into the drapes of the window, causing them to be scattered on the floor, and there seemed to be a sticky yellow substance scattered about resembling honey. Her heart raced until her eyes found the small platinum haired boy stuck to the opposite wall of Harry, covered in the yellow substance and feathers as well. Hermione gasped as a series of bubbles floated from under the far door until it burst open and Kreacher came floating out, lifting in the air stuck in some form of gigantic soap bubble, hiccuping and grumbling though the bubble seemed to be keeping anyone from hearing him.
"What in Salazar's tits did you do to my son Potter?" Draco managed, his tone equal parts filled with disbelief and amusement.
"I've learned the sticking charm father!" Scorpius said excitedly. His eyes were bright with excitement and then his smile faltered as his eyes fell to the floor. "Though, I dropped Mr. Potter's wand and now we're stuck."
"Oi, don't look at me like that 'Mione. We we're just having a bit of fun." Harry said with a shaky laugh, but he looked a little queazy hanging upside down like he was. "Would've been fine if Scorp hadn't accidentally bounded Kreacher in the bubble- just a slip of words, really... but, er, uh, you mind helping me down?"
"Harry James Potter." She said moving into the room towards Scorpius first. She lifted her wand and gently detached Scorpius with a modified Severing Charm and then levitated the small boy to the ground next to her. She noticed the severing charm managed to tear the back of his shirt and a piece still remain stuck to the wall above. Before she could check on Scorpius she was caught off guard by the large grin he was shooting up at her.
"That was wicked!" He said bouncing up and down and then ran around her towards Draco, who looked down at his son in confusion.
"Where did you learn to say that I wonder?" Draco drawled, glaring over at Harry and then back down at his son sighing. He lifted his wand to rid his son of the sticky substance and repaired his shirt in two quick flicks of his wand.
"Uh, hi- yea, er, I'm still here. Just hanging out-" Harry attempted to laugh but it came out more like a strangled cough. He caught Hermione's glare and quickly amended, "Just kidding- that's- um, that's not funny."
She sighed and moved to do the same for Harry that she had just done for Scorpius, but instead of levitating him she only flipped him up right and let him fall the few feet to his bum. Hermione watched him fall quickly unable to catch his balance, landing on the ground with a 'THUNK'. She smirked, in the back of her mind this served as revenge on him for interrupting her moment with Draco.
"Oi, 'Mione! That hurt!"
"Sorry, little buzzed- too much whisky, not enough wand control I suppose." She said with a shrug and she heard Draco laughing behind her.
She turned to see Draco standing with Scorpius on his hip, smiling wide at Harry as he struggled to stand to his feet.
"Potter, you are no longer allowed to be left unsupervised with my son."
"Teaching a child a complex spells- it's idiotic and it's dangerous! What if something worse would have happened? Honestly, Harry!" Hermione scolded again, moving to slap him on the arm and he only flinched but looked sheepishly over at her as he muttered an apology. "There is a reason they begin lessons at the age of eleven and not five!"
"Wait, you managed to stick Potter and yourself to the wall and trap a house-elf in a bubble?" Draco seemed to be considering the view of the room and then he glanced at his son in his arms.
"Yes, father. Mr. Potter was showing me how to float a feather and how to stick them to things. We started sticking them to the wall and then some got stuck to Kreacher..."
Hermione glared and Harry, who only shrugged.
"Hm," Draco's brows lifted and he nodded. "Impressive."
Harry smiled and Hermione only starred with her jaw open.
"Impressive? Draco, what if Harry hadn't been able to call for us and Scorpius fell-"
"He's taken worse spills. You should see him fall off a broom-"
"A... A B-BROOM?!" She repeated, her eyes almost bulging out of her head.
Draco rolled his eyes at her reaction. "Well he wasn't alone, witch. I was on it too."
Hermione just gapped at him, blinking rapidly.
"Well, this has been fun." Harry said in a chipper tone, clapping his hands together. "We should do this again sometime. Er- well, perhaps maybe not this, but you know... dinner. Ginny, me, you two..."
"I thought you were just showing him your broom. How exactly did it turn into-" Draco flung his wrist out gesturing at the room. "-whatever this is."
"Oh, well... Scorp wanted to- actually, it's a bit of a long story and uh- I'm not particularly proud that a five year old manipulated me into teaching him spells." Harry said with a shaky laugh, shrugging. "Best to not know the details really."
"How is it that you manage to defeat evil on a daily basis, but can be easily manipulating by a toddler?" Hermione asked with a sigh.
Harry looked serious as he said, "He's a Malfoy, 'Mione. Those wizards are tricky at every age. They're practically born with a cunning agenda and the necessary intelligence to see it through."
Hermione glanced over at Draco who was smugly nodding in agreement. "He's got a point."
"Oh, you two are impossible." She threw her hands up and moved towards the door. The spinning feeling in her head was now in her stomach and she was certain she would fall asleep the moment she closed her eyes. She stopped at the doorframe and turned on her heel. "Harry, thank you for allowing me to intrude on your dinner. I will refrain from mentioning any of this to Ginny if you swear to never teach your children magic whilst you've had whisky in your system. Agreed?"
Harry smiled, nodding as he crossed his arms over his chest. "Agreed, and you may crash my dinner any time. I'm glad you stopped by."
Hermione nodded, satisfied that she made her point and glanced over at Scorpius and Draco, and for a moment she was unsettled with how alike they were.
"Scorpius," She gave him a smile. "It was a pleasure to meet you. I hope to see you soon."
"It was nice to meet you Hermione Granger."
She took his small hand and giggled as he placed a kiss on the back of her hand as he had earlier. Her eyes darted from the toddlers to the man holding him, and felt her cheeks flush remembering his lips only inches from hers only minutes ago. She cleared her throat, suddenly not sure what to even say after what they had said earlier to one another. Was it only the alcohol that gave her the boldness to ask him to dinner, and for him to lean in and want to kiss her? Would he even want to tomorrow? Would she? Oh boy-
"I'll see you Friday, then?" He said, clearly noticing her inability to form a sentence.
"Hm? Oh, yes. Friday."
"What do you say to spending the night with Narcissa Friday, Scorp?" Draco asked his son, and then his eyes slid back to Hermione's with a knowing smirk. If he was planning to have Narcissa watch his son then was he expecting to be with her all night ? Was it awful of her to hope so?
Hermione blushed and glanced over at Harry who was watching them with heightened interest. She quickly looked away from him and the need to make a quick exit seemed to heighten the longer the seconds ticked on.
"Um, right. Goodbye Draco." She stuck out her hand without thinking and instantly felt the embarrassment fill her lungs as he starred at it for a moment with amusement smack across his smug face. She wanted to slap him.
"Goodby Hermione." Draco said, his voice sounding similar to a purr, reaching out and gently wrapping his long fingers around her hand. His hand seemed to swallow her own and his thumb rubbed the outside of her wrist, holding her hand a moment longer than a normal hand shake causing her skin to tingle again. Remembering that Harry was in the room she inhaled deeply, removing her hand from his and back pedaling.
"Ah, ok, right... see you Harry!"
She didn't chance glancing at Harry again, knowing that he was watching her with an unsettling expression on his face, as she turned on her heel and hurried down the hall. She took several deep breaths, focusing her attention on making it to the fireplace. Her fingers wrapped around the Floo powder and she managed to call out her address correctly, and felt her body being transported away from Harry's flat, thankful that the strange night had finally reached its end.