The next day went so fast that my head spun. After the jam packed few days in which we looked for Stephen, a day of nothing was welcome but bizarre. Thorpe wanted me to leave the flat as little as possible to minimize the chance of me being recognized. Stephen was pretty much in charge of keeping an eye on me. I guess Thorpe was still upset that Stephen had been keeping things hidden from him. I wasn't complaining. We used the time to try to find out more about what Sid and Sadie could be trying to do, and not talk about the fact that we had slept in the same bed the night before. We also didn't kiss anymore. Not even a little. I was disappointed.

Actually living with the team was weird. I had lived with Boo, and I had sort of slept in the same house as her and Callum, but the circumstances were very different then. Now we were all living in their cramped flat, and in a few days Freddie would join, too. Thorpe wanted to keep her here for the investigation. Stephen was trying to find a new place, but that was hard to do on a Shades' budget.

Stephen, Boo, and Callum acted like they were trying to pick up where they left off, which apparently meant going to the gym together. I didn't realize I knew people who went to the gym. I never used to associate with such people if I could help it. Lucky for me, basically being under house arrest was a good excuse not to join them. Stephen tried to stay with me because someone had to. It took a lot of promising from me, and relenting to only stay at the gym for a short time from Boo and Callum, but that evening the three of them left me. I wasn't sure what to do with myself. I tried to do some more research on Sid and Sadie. That was of course getting nowhere. I flipped channels on the TV and fell asleep watching Doctor Who before they got back.

I woke up still on the couch, curled up under a throw blanket from Boo's bed. I could smell eggs. "Is there coffee?" I groaned from where I lay.

"Good morning," Boo sang as she came to sit by my legs. I opened my eyes. She was holding out a mug.

"Bless youuuu," I said as I sat up and took the mug from her. The delicious aroma of coffee made me tear up a little.

"It's just coffee," Callum called from the kitchen.

"Yeah, and I've been living off y'all's crappy leaf water for the last few days. Let me have this." They laughed as I put the blanket over my head and walked into the kitchen.

"Callum, we have to go," Boo said,

"Go where?" I asked.

"I'm starting my new assignment today. Callum's got to return to the tubes." She glanced at Stephen, who wasn't paying attention, then to me and winked. I cocked my head trying to play dumb. Boo smirked. Of course that wouldn't work. Callum however was paying attention.

"No," he said loudly. Callum got up, stretched and brought his dishes to the sink. "I won't lose anymore money. So don't." He pointed a finger at me as he walked past me and he and Boo left.

"What was he going on about?" Stephen had finally chosen to look up from his papers and continue eating.

I put what was left of the scrambled eggs on my plate and went to sit across from him. "I think him and Boo have a new bet on us."

"Ah," he said after a long moment of chewing. I still wasn't used to seeing Stephen eat. There are some people you just can't picture eating. Stephen was one of them. "Who do you think will win?"

I considered this question with mild surprise. "Hmmm. I'm kinda hoping Boo does." Stephen nodded slowly in agreement. I saw the hint of a smile. "We'll see. Depending on their agreed terms, she may have already won," I added. Was this how flirting with Stephen was going to go? Just casually talking about us doing stuff as if it was happening on some tv show we liked?

There was a knock at the door. I got up and shuffled over to look through the peephole. Stephen got up and brought our plates to the sink where he started the process of washing dishes. I opened the door to Freddie smiling brightly at me.

"Morning," she chirped. She passed me into the apartment. "Just the two of you again?" Freddie looked from me to Stephen in the kitchen.

"Callum and Boo just left. Stephen doesn't have a new car yet."

"That," Freddie said hopping over the back of the couch, "and he's the only one who can keep you in check."

We both saw Stephen jerk his head. He had definitely heard that one. I shrugged and walked back over to my coffee. "That's fair."

"Any plans for today?"

"No," I said. "Not for me. Plan on seeing Jazza again?" I smirked and raised an eyebrow. Freddie's ears turned red.

Stephen walked up beside me, wiping his hands on a dish rag. "Jazza?"

"My roommate," I said.

"I remember. Why would Freddie be seeing her?"

Before I could further tease Freddie, there was another knock at the door. As Stephen walked over to answer it, Freddie relaxed. I knew she was grateful for the distraction, but I wasn't going to let this go.

"Good morning," Thorpe greeted the room.

"Hey," I said, plopping down on the couch.

"Freddie, I'm glad you're here," he said. Freddie looked up, almost like she was scared of being in trouble. Thorpe handed her a small leather pocket book with a badge on the front. "This is a temporary warrant card," he told her. "Do not abuse the power this grants you. You will have to go through extensive training to officially earn this, but given the circumstances I decided it might be best for you to have this on your person."

Freddie stared, her lips slightly parted, as she opened and closed it. She looked up wide-eyed and uttered a quiet, "Thank you."

I felt Stephen's eyes on me. I smiled at him and brought my mug to my lips. I took a nice long sip of my blessed bean juice as I turned back to watch this exchange. I realized all eyes were on me and froze with my mug in front of my face. I raised my eyebrows.

"What about Rory?" Freddie asked before I could find my own words. "She's been part of the team longer than I have, and she plays a more crucial role, right? She deserves to have one, too." For a moment, my heart burst for Freddie Sellars.

"There are multiple reasons Rory cannot have a warrant card, but the main one at the moment is that she is still a missing persons." He stared at me, as if waiting for an attack. Stephen watched me as well.

"Well, if Rory can't have one, I shouldn't-"

"That's fair," I said smoothly. I caught a hint of pleasant surprise in Stephen's eyes, though he didn't let his expression waver. "I'm a runaway, I'm still under protection. I'm not even a citizen yet. Besides, I'm never really supposed to be on my own, right? So as long as I'm with one of y'all, I shouldn't need one. Right? So, I'm with Thorpe. No one ever even planned on me becoming part of the team. My involvement is mostly like a fluke. You were being vetted. So you keep that and I'll stick with one of y'all." Apparently no one was expecting this response. They just continued to stare at me. "What?"

"Nothing," Thorpe said. "Stephen let's go."

"I need to grab my coat." He turned to go into his room.

"Right. We'll be back in a couple of hours. We have some business to attend to. Rory, stay with Freddie."

"Okay," I said. With that, Thorpe turned and walked back out the door.

"So," Freddie said. "What should we do?"

"We could go on a coffee date," I told her as Stephen returned. He had put on a button down shirt now and was adjusting his coat.

Freddie's cheeks went pink at the mention of a date. "You're already drinking coffee."

"I'm finished. There's no such thing as too much coffee."

"Actually-"

"Whatever the two of you do," Stephen interrupted, "please keep a low profile and try not to get into any trouble."

"Us? Never." I smiled up at him. He looked at me earnestly. I rolled my eyes. "Fine. Yes, sir." Having gotten the response out of me that he wanted, he looked at Freddie.

"We'll do our best," she said.

Stephen nodded, apparently satisfied. His hand brushed against my shoulder as he walked to the door. It was subtle, but deliberate.

"So, what do you want to do?"

Freddie finally sat beside me. "Well, I had an idea. Maybe it's a stupid one."

"It's probably better than no idea at all, which currently is what I've got to offer."

"Right. Well I thought maybe… Clover might know something more about what Sid and Sadie are. And he might tell us more without Thorpe around…" She chewed on her lip as she looked at me.

"Okay," I said. "Is the shop open? I just need to go get dressed and brush my teeth and we can go." Her eyes lit up. I stood and headed to my room. I wasn't sure if anything would actually come from this, but it was better than nothing.

We took the tube to get to the shop, getting off at Picadilly Circus and walking the rest of the way. I wore a blonde wig and a mask that Dr. Marigold had given me. It made my face feel hot and humid.

Freddie texted Stephen our whereabouts as we walked the rest of the way to Hardwell's. I hardly had to push against the door to get it to open this time. The tinkling of bells welcomed us. The store was as cold inside as it was on the street. I held the door for Freddie and closed it behind her. It was somehow more cramped than I remembered it, but we were the only people here. No one was even at the counter. I looked at Freddie who was biting her lip. She looked frozen in place. "Does something seem… off to you?" I pulled my mask under my chin.

We stood there for a moment watching each other. There was a different light shining from the back of the store, more like light coming through a window. This was new. The air smelled worse than before. It reminded of the time Cousin Diane's plumbing got backed up. Incense and sewage mixing together. "Can I see your phone?" She unlocked her phone and handed it to me. The screen was all cracked up and her background displayed a topless mermaid. I went through her texts and called Stephen. After a few rings, he answered. "Hey," I said. "Um, it's Rory. Are you still with Thorpe? Are you guys near Clover's bookshop?"

Freddie turned back again and called out for Clover. "I'm with him. I'm not sure if we're near Clover's shop. We met Callum at Piccadilly Circus station. Is everything alright?"

"I'm… I'm not sure." I felt like a child. We didn't know if there was anything wrong here. We had barely stepped over the threshold and I was already running to Stephen because a smelly shop smelled a little more. Freddie slowly took some steps further into the store. "We thought maybe something was wrong, but nevermind. It's stupid-"

"RORY."

"Freddie?" I yelled back. I heard her make a noise, like she was trying to scream again, but then she let out a sickly belch and a splashing sound. I tried to navigate through the cramped shelves to get to her. Stephen said my name. "Can you just get here?"

"Thorpe said in ten minutes."

"Great. Oh my god." My stomach dropped as fast as the phone fell from my hand. Freddie was on her hands and knees, next to Clover who was lying still against the back wall. His head was bent wrong. This explained the smell which was stronger in this spot.

I tried not to gag and grabbed the back of Freddie's shirt. The smell and sight of vomit nearly made me lose my breakfast but I tugged Freddie's arm and we walked back to the front door. As soon as we were outside, she heaved forward and was sick again on the street. I wanted to comfort her but I was going to be sick myself if I stayed with her.

I turned around when I heard a whoosh behind me. I stepped back in. There was a figure standing behind the counter. Approaching it, I asked, "Excuse me? Did you see what happened here?"

They turned around. He looked very much like someone who would come to this shop. He had long hair and wore a crop top and bell-bottoms. He opened his mouth, but the only sound that came out was a raspy rush of air. He looked very sad. "Could you help me?" I asked him. "If you know anything. Could you help?" I did my best to ignore that there was a dead body a few feet away from me. I tried to focus on this ghost, standing in front of me, looking so sad and pointing at the ground. I couldn't see what he was pointing at. I took a few steps closer to the counter, and the smell hit me again. I gagged against the bile rising in my throat and put the mask back over my mouth and nose to keep out the scent.

On the floor behind the counter lay the body of the girl who had been working the last time I came here. Freddie had called her Cressida? She was still wearing her hat with the shiny discs. Her eyes were open, her pupils too wide to even make out any color. All I could do was stare at this girl who was probably only a few years older than me with her head turned the wrong way and her eyes stuck staring at a moldy ceiling.

I tore my gaze away. The ghost looked as if he was crying now, but there were no tears. "Who did this?" My voice was demanding. It had unexpected force. He looked back at me for a second then ducked under the hatch of the counter and walked towards the back. I took one last glance at the girl. It was a mistake. I rushed to follow him into the back room where we had spoken with Clover. That was just a few days ago…

The ghost paused to stare at me, still crying silently. I didn't know how much longer I could hold back from puking. I was literally holding my breath. Finally, he pointed to the cabinet. I let myself take in some air. He watched me walk across the small room and open the cabinet. I could barely see him in my peripheral vision.

The cabinet looked like it was where they put their personal belongings during their shift. First, I reached for the purse, then I hesitated. There was a pair of gloves sitting just inside the purse. I grabbed them, doing my best not to touch anything else. Then I was wearing a dead girl's gloves. I didn't want to dwell on that. I searched her bag, pushing through a pack of cigarettes, a small glass pipe, a lighter, and some other things. I found a wallet in a zipped off compartment and took out her I.D. Her name really was Cressida. She was 26. My chest felt tight.

I turned to searching through Clover's things. I searched the pockets of his coat. All I found were keys and his wallet. I searched the shelf of the cabinet, but there wasn't anything there. I went over Clover's coat one more time and found a pocket sewn on the inner fabric. In it was a small notebook. I flipped through the pages. Lots of very small handwriting. Lots of numbers.

I turned back to the ghost. "Does this mean something?" He nodded. He came towards me, his arms outstretched. Did he want a hug? "I can't," I said. "If I touch you, you go away." He took another step towards me. He didn't want to stay here. Why was he crying? "Wait, what does this mean? Does this have to do with what happened to them?" His face crumpled. I guess that meant yes. "I don't want to do this," I told him. He was almost to me now. He lowered his arms for a second. Then he wrapped himself around me. Then he was gone. And with a flash of pain, so was I.

I stood in my grandma's backyard, looking to the bayou that cut through it. On the bay was an alligator. It didn't move. I knew it wouldn't either. Grandpa came out and touched my head. "Nature's takin' its course. Not something you'll want to see, kiddo."

"Grandpa," I said ripping my eyes away to look up at him. "What happens when you die?"

"Well you know better than I do where we go if that's what you mean." His smiling face looked down. He winked. What was he talking about? "But if you mean what happens to these old carcasses, well, it depends on where you are. But I'll tell you, the older I get, the more I make sure I'm using the john. Never know when I'm gonna go. My daddy died pretty young. And when I do go, I don't want anyone finding me in an embarrassing way."

"Embarrassing how?" I asked him.

"Well… when a body truly dies, everything tightens. Then everything relaxes. Even the things we don't know aren't relaxed. I don't want anyone finding me with my pants full of crap."

"Gross," I laughed. Grandpa was always one for potty humor. "The good news for you is that you didn't."

"That's good to hear." We looked back at the alligator. "Can't say the same about those poor folks. I guess I better get ta getting rid of this feller. Get back out there, Sha." He patted my head and I watched him make his way towards the bayou.

I felt cold hands slide up from my neck to caress my cheeks. A thumb brushed lightly over my eyelid. A ringing in my ears muffled the sounds around me. Was someone saying my name? My head felt cold. I was jostled a bit as whoever was touching me pulled me onto their lap. They tapped my cheek. I tried to open my eyes but everything was blurry. Then finally my eyes shot open. I needed to hold on for just a few more seconds. I scanned the room quickly. I pushed away from Stephen as hard as I could and scurried to the bin next to the chair. I ripped the mask off my face just in time as my body heaved.

"Shit," I heard Callum say. Stephen was back beside me with his hand on the back of my neck. It felt good, but I didn't want him so close to me like this. I would have swatted him away if I could find the energy. When it was finally over, I collapsed onto Stephen's lap, my cheek hitting the floor. Stephen tried to help me up, but I couldn't move. "Did she pass out?"

I tried to say no, but I couldn't. My eyelids fluttered. "I don't think so," Stephen told him. He sounded worried. Of course he was worried. He had just walked into a bookshop with two dead bodies and me puking my guts out.

"Callum, bring her to the car. Try to make her comfortable," Thorpe said. I hated everyone talking around me, and not being able to add input. Callum walked over and took me from Stephen. He wasn't as gentle as Stephen had been the other night, and I could offer no help to support myself. I hung like a rag doll. I could tell it wasn't easy for him to get himself plus me out of the small shop, but we emerged back outside. While it was cold in the shop, the fresh air hitting my cheek still helped.

Callum laid me down in the back seat of Thorpe's car, Freddie putting my head in her lap, and shut the door. "I'm sorry, Rory. We shouldn't have come here. I shouldn't have…" she trailed off. No offense to Freddie but the smell of her breath wasn't helping. I wished I could put my mask back on, but that probably would have just kept my breath clouding around my nose.

Thorpe, Stephen, and Callum were talking outside the car now. Stephen sounded angry. I didn't like it.

"We don't even know what happened," Thorpe said.

"Look at her," Stephen snapped. "I know exactly what happened. She can't keep doing it. It's getting worse every time."

Callum pitched in. "Stephen, she's still a terminus. We still need her. But- listen, I agree with you to an extent, mate. She was in pain when I saw her do it. I don't know what's happening to her, but maybe that doctor can figure something out."

"Fine. Can we go see her? Soon. I'd rather not wait. Rory needs help."

"I'll make a call to Marigold. But as long as Rory's willing to perform as a terminus, you are not to stop her, Stephen," Thorpe said. They didn't say anything else. I wanted to scream that no, I was not willing to do this anymore, I hadn't even been willing just now, I was scared, but I was only just starting to feel some strength return to my body. I didn't want to waste it.

Callum got into the back with Freddie and I. I was only slightly disappointed. He sat me up and put my head on his shoulder. "You waking up?"

I struggled to open my eyes, but I did it. Stephen was in the passenger seat, looking at me through the rearview mirror. "Try-ing. 'S hard." Callum put his arm around my shoulders and squeezed.

"What happened?" He asked.

"Ghost. He cry… Hug. Boom."

"He hugged you?" Stephen said. "Did you touch him for vice versa?"

"He… he touched m-me. Didn't want. Said no." God, this whole talking thing was hard. How did I do it so much?

Stephen sighed and shot a pointed look at Thorpe. Thorpe stared straight ahead, looking as young, official, and grey haired as ever. Stephen turned to face me and held something up. The notebook. "You were holding this. What is it?"

"Ghost led me to it. Clover's." I felt warmth on my cheek. I hadn't meant to start crying but I remembered something. Stephens eyes got wide. I did my best to lift my arms. "Gloves. Please." He stared at my hands and set the notebook in his lap. He reached over and slipped the gloves off my hands.

"You weren't wearing those before, were you?" Freddie asked. Her voice was wobbly.

I shook my head the tiniest bit. "Cressida. Fingerprints. I…" I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. Thick, hot tears were running down my face and there was nothing I could do. Stephen looked pained. He turned back to the notebook. We sat in silence for a few minutes, besides a page turning here and there. Callum was strong and warm. I was grateful to be leaning on him.

We reached the entrance to the Tube and Thorpe stopped. Callum got out and slid me over to the spot behind Thorpe, where he had sat. He buckled me up and put his hand on my shoulder. "Feel better," he said. "I'll see you guys later." He shut the door and I leaned my head against the window. Thorpe started driving again and the silence returned.

As we got closer to the flat, Stephen broke it. "You all are mentioned in here."

"What?" Thorpe said sharply.

"Freddie you're mentioned a few other times, but here. This one's dated about a week ago. 'F brought two friends along this time. Asked about J. Should warn her. Hard to say anything around a pig. Good excuse. The other one was special though. I could tell. J must've known, too. Will keep in mind for S and S.'"

"What's S and S?" Freddie asked.

For once, I was able to put something together before anyone else. "Sid and Sadie," I mumbled.

Stephen shifted to look at me again. He looked pained. "Rory."

"But… no!" Freddie looked upset. "Clover helped me. He was my friend."

Stephen looked to her. "He only uses first letters for names. At first I didn't realize he was talking about you, but all the other times you're mentioned, it seems like he was getting information from you. Were you helping him find something?"

"No, I…" Her eyes got wider. She stared at Stephen with new intensity. Her mouth shaped a horrified O. "We were just talking. I would ask him about things like magic and Jane. I was trying to get information. And I would tell him about the websites I was on most… about the Eye of Isis and other objects and myths. He… he didn't use the internet very well."

"He used us," I said bluntly.

Freddie whipped around. She was starting to cry. "But he was my friend! You heard him. Remember? He said Jane's crowd was too much for him. That he thought Sid and Sadie were crazy! He wouldn't help them."

"He lied." I was angry. I was so angry and I was too weak to do anything about it. I grit my teeth together and turned away from her, pressing my forehead against the cold window. It wasn't her fault. Freddie had gotten taken advantage of the worst.

"I didn't know. Rory. Please I'm sorry." She was really crying now. I could hear it. Freddie was hurting. She had been betrayed. She had actually considered him a friend, and now I was too tired and too angry to be nice to her. I hated feeling like this.

"Don't," I sighed. "It's not… Just don't. I'm so tired of being used."

No one said anything else, and I didn't turn back to look at any of them. I never heard Stephen turn around. I felt his gaze on me.

When we pulled up outside the flat, Thorpe said, "Stephen, take Rory inside. Freddie, I need you to stay with me for a little while longer. You can get in the front."

They got out of the car. Stephen paused to hand something to Freddie. He put his hand on her arm before she got into the front seat. I opened my door as he came around. He held my wig and the notebook in one hand, and held the other out for me. I took it and let him help me out of the car. Thorpe rolled down his window when Stephen didn't move. I looked up at stephen. "You'll call Felicia?"

"Yes," Thorpe said, " now get her inside before she passes out again."

I slipped as we turned towards the door. Stephen caught my arm and pulled me up, supporting me around the waist. The stairs were too narrow for us to climb together, and my legs were already giving out. He kept a hand on my back as he followed behind me. Halfway up I was on my hands and knees trying to crawl the rest of the way. I sat on the step. "This is pathetic.

He waited until we were in the apartment to say anything. "Rory," Stephen said.

"I need to take a shower." I walked straight into the bathroom and locked the door before he could say anything else. Talking was not working for me right now. I felt disgusting.

I could barely even stand. I brushed my teeth quickly before turning on the water and climbing in. I sat on the floor of the shower, letting the water hit my back and put my forehead on my knees.

How much more could I take of this? Seeing Jane get murdered had been easier. I was having a hard time processing then, but now it haunted me. The way her neck gaped and the blood splattered. On top of that were dreams of bodies contorted on a floor. I didn't know where my imagination was getting that inspiration from, but I definitely wasn't appreciating it. And now this.

With my eyes closed I could so clearly see Clover's body, his head facing the wrong way, his limbs sprawled out and stiff. Was he still in rigor mortis? Was that what Grandpa had been talking about? What did that mean? How long does it take a corpse to go into rigor mortis and how long did it take for it to wear off?

I shivered under the hot water. My mind didn't want to keep thinking about corpses and death's natural course, but kept coming up with new paths to continue down. And the girl at the front desk… had she been involved? Or was she just there? Was she the ghost, or was it spewed out of the crack? Was the crack even still relevant anymore? Everything seemed important, and at the same time, none of it did.

My eyes stung and I realized the water running down my cheeks wasn't from the shower. I picked my head back up. I wasn't in the shower at all anymore. I was outside, sitting in the grass. I looked down to make sure I had clothes on. I was covered but I wasn't really dressed. I was wearing a white sheet. I pulled it tighter around me.

"It's not like there's anyone around," a light voice said. I turned to look at Regina.

"You are," I said. She shrugged and came to sit beside me. She was dressed properly, at least. Well, kind of. She was wearing a pair of really short shorts and a t-shirt that looked like she had cut it to show her stomach. You could still see half of a graphic for a band I liked on it. It definitely wasn't a proper London winter outfit, but at least it was real clothes.

"You look like hell," she noted. She reached over and ran her fingers through the hair above my ear. "I do like the haircut though. Like Sinead O'Connor. Once it grows out into a pixie cut, that'll be very cute on you." It felt very nice, the way her fingers moved so lightly on my head. She put her hand on the side of my face and used her thumb to wipe under my eyes. I relaxed into it.

I had not known Regina very long, in fact I wasn't sure why my subconscious had even brought her to me, but she was a welcome presence. A little intimidating, but she seemed to make the world we sat in a lot brighter. Even sitting in a London park in nothing but a sheet, she was warming me up.

"I get jealous of you, you know," she said.

I felt like she had taken the hand so delicately caressing my cheek and slapped me with it. Regina, sitting here beside me, basically came off to me as everything I wanted to be. She was a lot cooler than me, and, especially at the moment, a lot prettier. Her hair was halfway down her back and just the slightest shade lighter than Stephen's. Everything about her posture was relaxed. She was thin enough that she probably never had to worry about sucking in. She reminded me of Jazza in her physique. Maybe Regina had been a swimmer. I could ask Stephen.

"Why?" I asked in disbelief.

Regina put her hand on the ground, and the air stung my cheek. She bit her lip, her eyes shifting over my face. "You get to be with him." I sucked in a sharp breath. "You keep losing each other over and over, but every time, you get him back. I… I lost him once and that was it. I talked to him here and there. The last time he saw me, I was high. Practically in space. That was at my father's flat. Then, every time he heard from me. There was always something to keep me going. And when I tried to get him back, I was so close. But I bollocksed it up."

"I'm sorry. I didn't even think… Honestly, for a second I forgot you were, um…"

"Dead," she laughed darkly. "I'm dead. I was clean. Did you know that?" She looked out over the horizon. Her voice was getting thicker. "I was getting clean, I was so close. I was going to get clean, and get Stephen out of that damned place. He was too good for them. He was. And then one night I'm at a friends house they offered me something. I was thoroughly pissed at that point and I don't know. It was too much. It was too much. I went to sleep. It was almost instantaneous. No one could have stopped it." She shook her head.

I didn't think my brain could make this up. This was awful. I felt sick. I reached for her hand, and she laced her fingers through mine. She felt solid. "Regina?"

"Mm?"

"If you're dead… how are you here? And how can we do this?" I moved my thumb over the back of her hand.

"I'm really sorry, Rory," Regina sighed. She looked at me again and pouted. "I don't have all the answers. Death didn't make me omnipotent. Mostly, all that I know has to do with my brother, and, well, you."

"Me? Why?"

"Because I want him to be happy, and that means protecting you. Even if that means I have to protect you from him."

The last part threw me for a loop. "What does that mean?" I asked.

With her free hand, she played with the bangles lining her wrist. "Stephen cares about you… A lot. He never really got close to anyone at Eton, and I think that was my fault. When I was alive, I talked so much shit about it. About the people in our world, you know. Then I died, and he definitely shut himself off from anyone like our parents. Since that was all the people he was surrounded by, of course he never grew close to anyone.

"Then he met that guy with the gray hair, and he was good to Stephen. He wasn't just looking out for himself, and I think Stephen could tell. For once here was someone who laid his motives out flat, and didn't seem to care only about what Stephen could do for him. And he met someone else that day, who gave him a glimpse of something right up Stephen's alley, and offered him a sense of control, even. Then Stephen sought out the big guy and that fab girl, I really like her. Her name is Boo, right?" I nodded. "Love her. And he liked them and cared about them, but he did all that while trying not to let them do the same for him.

"Then you came in. You didn't choose him, and he didn't choose you. Neither of you had any secret motives. You didn't need to care about him the way he felt like he had to for you, but you did. And you wouldn't let him shut you out. He was able to actually express emotion for once, even if it wasn't a grand gesture. But then you became a Stone. Now he has to balance all this emotion with his duty, and I think he's following the path he's always taken. He's put his duty first." Regina scooted closer to me as she allowed me to digest her insights.

I felt a pleasant twist in my stomach when she talked about Stephen and I. The way she put us together. But whatever pleasantness I felt from that was fogged from the confusion caused by that last piece of information. "You called me a Stone. Is that because I'm a terminus?" Regina nodded. "But I'm not a Stone. I'm still me." Had I said that before? I shook my head.

"You know," she said. "You just forgot."

Everything felt so familiar when I was with her, but I didn't know why. Maybe this is what she meant. "Can you help me remember?"

"I'm trying."

The air was getting colder fast. I was starting to shiver. "Why? Why am I seeing you?"

She let out a sigh that sounded more like a laugh. "You don't think I'm me. You think that this is all a dream. That you've seen my face once or twice and now your subconscious is using me to put the pieces together for you in a sick turn of events. That I'm really you." She let go of my hand and pushed herself up. Without her beside me, I became violently was no longer just London cold. "You changed something. You opened something up. This is because of you. I can reach you," Regina said.

My heart was pounding. This was because of me.

I sat there shaking like a thing that shakes. Regina stood there, in her shorts and cut up t-shirt, unphased. She turned her back to me. "It's time to go," she whispered. "Don't let him shut you out.

"But don't trust him either."