Author's Note:
I'm in a terrible mood whenever I haven't slept enough, and Blaine in this story is just as moody and irritable when sleep-deprived :-) You have been warned!
Chapter 3: Mr. Grumps Down in the Dumps
Mr. Bingley had soon made himself acquainted with all the principal people in the room; he was lively and unreserved, danced every dance, was angry that the ball closed so early, and talked of giving one himself at Netherfield. Such amiable qualities must speak for themselves. What a contrast between him and his friend! Mr. Darcy danced only once with Mrs. Hurst and once with Miss Bingley, declined being introduced to any other lady, and spent the rest of the evening in walking about the room, speaking occasionally to one of his own party. His character was decided. He was the proudest, most disagreeable man in the world, and everybody hoped that he would never come there again. Amongst the most violent against him was Mrs. Bennet, whose dislike of his general behaviour was sharpened into particular resentment by his having slighted one of her daughters.
(An excerpt from Pride and Prejudice, by Jane Austen)
That Saturday, Blaine was in a horrible mood. He'd been woken in the middle of the night by loud squeals. Cooper's latest conquest was a screamer, it seemed. What's more, she hadn't left discreetly after the hook-up. Instead, she stayed for breakfast, never noticing how her shrill peppiness made both Anderson brothers wince, and she addressed Blaine like he was a child. Now, he'd be the first to admit that he wasn't too tall and that he looked young, but he looked teenager young, not toddler young.
When she exclaimed over his 'cute curls', and threaded her fingers through them, he gritted through his teeth, "Don't touch me!" and stomped away, his stomach growling in protest when he left his breakfast half finished.
He was working on an essay for school when Cooper came in and flung himself onto Blaine's bed. "She's gone, squirt."
"Don't call me squirt," Blaine snapped. "And good riddance. You sure know how to pick them, ugh."
"She had great boobs."
"That must have been the only great thing about her."
Cooper tilted his head to the side, conceding the point.
"And now I'm starving because she chased me away from breakfast!"
Cooper chuckled. "Aw, Blainey, you didn't like having your curls played with by a beautiful lady?"
Blaine shot him a dark glare, but it only made Coop laugh out loud.
"If you're only coming here to laugh at me, you can clear out. I have work to do, and I don't need any distractions."
Coop rolled onto his stomach. "I came here to touch base about our plans this evening."
"Plans?"
"The wedding! It starts at 6.30 PM, it says on the invitation. And it's in Brooklyn, so we should probably leave by 5.30."
Blaine groaned. He'd forgotten all about the wedding.
"I got you your guitar!" Cooper said, dashing out of the room, and coming back with a gleaming guitar case. "Here you go!"
Blaine's fingers itched to open the case and try out the guitar, but he had school work to do, so with another groan, he turned away from Cooper and his bribe and focused on his research.
"And I'll bring you a sandwich. And coffee. Okay?"
True to his word, Cooper brought Blaine food and coffee five minutes later. Blaine grabbed the sandwich right away, bit into it and mumbled a fervent thanks.
"5.30, squirt, don't forget!"
Blaine, his mouth full to bursting, just nodded, letting the 'squirt' slide for now. Getting food in his system was more important. Ah, but he was hungry!
K&B
At four o'clock that afternoon, Cooper bounded back into Blaine's room.
"Blainey… Shouldn't you be getting ready for the wedding? I know how long it takes for you to fix your curls and make yourself pretty!"
Blaine let out a deep sigh. "All right, all right, I'll stop working and hop into the shower."
Cooper beamed. "I'll be in the living room."
"Oh, Coop? What did you buy them as a wedding present?"
"The pet pavilion, of course! They're going to be so pleased!"
Blaine rolled his eyes. "If you want me to tag along, buy a NORMAL present in my name, please. You can waste your money on this ridiculous overpriced cat stuff, but I want to give the brides something useful."
"Like what?" Cooper asked.
"Like a nice duvet. Or a set of bath-towels. Or some top-of-the-range kitchen stuff. Let me see the invitation, please?"
Cooper went to fetch it, and handed it to Blaine, who looked up the wedding registry. He was pleased to see that the brides had, in the meantime, added regular stuff like pots and pans and a clothes hamper.
"Get me that set of fruit bowls. That's a nice gift."
Cooper saluted. "Consider it done. A fabulous gift from me and a boring one from you."
By the time Blaine was showered and groomed and suited up, Cooper had bought a beautiful bouquet of flowers with a congratulations card for the brides as well, and handed it to him with a wide smile. "All set now! Let's go!"
When the town car came to a halt at the address mentioned on the invitation, Blaine frowned as he got out. The neighborhood looked derelict. And the people hanging around seemed a little too interested in Cooper's gleaming car, which stood out like a sore thumb.
Blaine shivered and hoped they wouldn't get mugged. That was all he needed to ruin the day further.
Cooper seemed to get the same vibe, and said to their chauffeur, "Best not stay here, Bill. I'll call you when I need you to come pick us up."
"Right, sir. Good evening, sir."
And the car drove off. At once, Blaine felt very vulnerable. Holding the bouquet, he wouldn't be able to fight if someone were to attack him.
"Let's go inside," he urged Cooper.
The building looked just as run-down on the inside. There was no elevator, and the stairs were worn and creaky.
The apartment numbers weren't clearly indicated, but there was music floating down, so they only had to follow the sound to find the right place.
When Cooper knocked, nobody seemed to hear him. Not the first time, not the second, nor the third. After five tries, Blaine huffed, shoved the flowers at his brother, and tried to open the door. It slid open easily to reveal a loud and colorful chaos. All the guests were clapping and dancing, and in the middle were two gorgeous women in white dresses, singing Valerie and dancing with each other and giggling.
"Well, nothing like jumping straight into the party," Cooper said. He put the flowers and the card on the nearest table and joined the dancers.
Blaine stayed where he was, looking at the brides and their guests and feeling very much out of place.
"Ooooh," the brunette bride sighed as she sank onto the sofa after the song. "You know, Britts, that was the first time. That I felt like… I wanted to be with you forever. You were dancing with Mike, and I came to dance next to you, and you smiled. And I just knew. That you were the one."
"Awwww," Cooper cooed loudly, and more than just the brides' heads snapped up.
"Oh, the last guests have arrived!" said a clear, high voice. "Welcome, welcome!"
The voice belonged to a tall man with blue eyes, a high coif and a clear complexion. He was dressed in a velvet burgundy three-piece suit that hugged him in all the right places.
Blaine felt attraction flare up bright and wild, but squashed it quickly when he saw that Mr. Gorgeous only had eyes for Cooper. Figures. Who'd see me next to Coop?
He wished he could just disappear. Nobody wanted him here anyway, not even Cooper, who was charming everyone already and having a splendid time, so it seemed.
But he felt himself grabbed by the arm as Coop loudly proclaimed, "And this is my younger brother Blaine. He was in show choir too!"
Blaine, taken off-guard, could do no more than say, "Uh, hi!"
Coop whispered in Blaine's ear, "Smile! I saw you looking at the fashionable guy. If you want him, hit him with that Anderson charm!"
Blaine did as he was told, but he might as well have been invisible for all the reaction he got - a few polite nods and a once-over from a few of the girls. Mr. Gorgeous didn't even spare him a glance. He was too busy sucking up to Coop, and mentioning emphatically that he was single, and hadn't had much luck in love so far. Unlike Ohio, where he was from, New York City had plenty of gay men, but none that wanted to commit, it seemed.
Coop nodded. "I know what you mean. I'm not ready to settle down yet, but my brother is, and he tells me the same as you."
Coop helpfully pointed to Blaine again, but Mr. Gorgeous didn't look his way.
Blaine sank deeper into his sulk, scowling when Mr. Gorgeous urged everyone to head up the fire escape to the roof for the ceremony and then went up the stairs right in front of him, flaunting his endless legs and perfect ass in pants that seemed painted on.
He paid little attention to the ceremony, though he noticed that the man officiating was delectable too, tall, dark and handsome, and with a smile that rivalled Cooper's in charm and intensity.
After the ceremony, Mr. Gorgeous and a tiny loud brunette went around with sparkling wine and platters of hors d'oeuvres. There was a wide assortment of finger food, all of it delicious, and for dessert a cake that was light and fluffy and so scrumptious that Blaine indulged in it until his stomach hurt, and then he felt disgusted with himself and even grumpier than before. He sat down on the nearest chair, feeling queasy, and hoping that Coop wouldn't stay too long.
The brides' first dance was beautiful. Even in the midst of his sulk, he had to admit that. Their faces were radiant, their moves were flawless, and they were perfectly in sync at all times. After the dance was over, they stayed put for another while, holding on to each other and whispering in low voices, punctuating each sentence with a kiss.
It wasn't until the others joined them on the makeshift dance floor that it dawned on Blaine he had seen hide nor hair of the brides' parents. Wasn't it customary to have a father-daughter dance? And where were the drunk uncles and the loud aunts? Come to think of it, Blaine hadn't seen anyone around from another age bracket than his own. Well, except for Cooper.
Even the officiant looked student-aged. Hmm…
Blaine looked around at the terrace. Tastefully decorated, yes, but it had clearly been done on a shoestring budget.
The food, too, however stellar, had all been clearly home-made, including the wedding cake. The sparkling wine had tasted great, but it had definitely not been champagne.
When he heard police sirens cut through the music for a moment, all his misgivings about the neighborhood came back with a vengeance, and he wondered who on earth would want to get married in a place like that.
It was nice enough for a party, he had to give them that. Lots of room, good acoustics. But it had more of a party vibe than it screamed wedding.
He headed to the table that held the presents from people who hadn't bought something from the wedding registry, and got even more suspicious. The only decent gift on the table was a set of crystal champagne glasses in a silver bucket, donated by someone who called herself Sugar. The rest was a mishmash of cheap kitchen accessories and low-quality booze. How anyone could think a six-pack of Budweiser constituted a proper wedding gift, Blaine couldn't fathom.
Nearby stood a tray with wedding favors. Blaine raised his eyebrows at the tulle bags holding a few tea lights. It was elegantly done, yes, calligraphed with the brides' names and a romantic quotation, but again, they had kept their expenses as low as possible.
If they were all this poor, how on earth had they gotten acquainted with Cooper? The Andersons were an old money family, and Cooper had struck out on his own and become richer still. He hung out with celebrities and other billionaires all the time. When and where would he have met the brides? Did they actually know him at all? Or did they just send the invite to angle for a handsome gift? That was it, wasn't it? Cooper had been duped into spending a fortune on that stupid pet mansion, or whatever it was! And they probably weren't even getting married for real, and this was all a sham for Coop's benefit!
Blaine was livid in Cooper's stead, and stewed in silence until the brunette bride tapped on the bedazzled pink microphone they were now using for karaoke, shushed everyone and thanked all the guests for coming, and in particular Kurt (pointing to Mr. Gorgeous), who was the best friend anyone had ever had, and who had planned the whole wedding, apparently.
Cooper whooped and clapped, and Blaine couldn't keep it to himself any longer, so he let it all out.
"Okay, this charade stops NOW! Maybe you fooled Cooper, but I can see right through you. This whole party is as fake as all get out! If it were real, you'd be getting married with your family surrounding you, not with just a handful of friends! If it were real, you'd have chosen an actual wedding venue, instead of this… this dump in the middle of nowhere! If it were real, you'd have had everything handled by professionals, instead of taking advantage of your friend to whip something up on the cheap for you. And all that for what? For that ridiculous pet pavilion that Cooper shelled out good money for? Is that really worth all this deception? You disgust me! You're awful to take advantage of my brother this way, and I won't stand for it!"
As soon as Blaine had gotten it all off his chest, he looked at everyone's shocked faces and felt awful. Had he misjudged? The brides seemed aghast at his accusations, the guests looked at him like he was a train wreck happening, and Kurt… Gorgeous Kurt glared at him as if he wanted to tear Blaine limb from limb.