[Kylo]
He ran even though it made him feel queasy. It felt too much like the other times he'd left his old life behind – leaving his parents, leaving the burning temple … and now leaving the First Order. He knew he didn't have to leave. He could go back, kill Hux and whatever other members of the High Command had advocated for his execution, and enforce his control over the Order by Force alone if he had to.
But his heart was still broken. His very soul felt broken. He wasn't where he needed to be. And it did not go unnoticed by him that his escape had been a simple matter. The guards had followed the standard protocol for non-Force users (not that they had one for Force users, but that Hux hadn't made a point of instituting one was the sort of egregious error the man wouldn't make accidentally). The ship he'd stolen had been primed and ready for him. If he hadn't trusted so much in the Force, he might have been suspicious. As it was, he assumed Hux wanted him gone more than he wanted him dead.
Not that it mattered. He would never be back, taking nothing with him but the clothes on his back and the wits in his head. He set course for Bespin in the Anoat sector. The baron administrator there had sent his personal congratulations on Kylo's ascension to supreme leader, along with an invitation to visit. Han, Snoke, and Luke – all dead in less than a week.
"First Order shuttle. Please identify yourself and state your purpose of visiting Cloud City."
Kylo answered easily. "Captain Mek Lorson. Vacation."
"Very well, sir. Have you visited Cloud City before?"
"No."
"Will you be needing orientation services or contact with the tourism bureau?"
"No."
"Can I direct you to-"
"No," he cut in irritably. "I need landing clearance. I'll be going to the Pair O' Dice casino. Find me there."
"Sir?"
"Anyone looking for me can find me there," he ground out.
"Yes sir. Landing pad Oh-Two-Seven, sir."
He rolled his eyes and set the ship down where directed.
Using telekinesis, he liberated a gaming token from where it had been lost between two machines. It was low denomination, hence being abandoned or unnoticed. He took it to the flip table, one of the most basic games with an easy 50/50 option designed to lure people in. Once there, they could be suckered into betting on patterns for the next three, five, or nine flips of the chance cube. He won four in a row, doubling his money each time, and left the table before his winnings looked statistically unlikely.
He repeated this at a few other tables, intentionally losing a few times as he racked his brain for his father's old lessons on how to spot a cheat, so he wouldn't stand out too much. It wasn't the sort of thing a mind-reading child had needed to pay attention to, but that hadn't kept Han from telling him all about it anyway. He'd never thought it would be useful.
He noticed when a sort of purposeful attention entered the establishment. He took a drink (they were free), bought a baked pastry (these cost tokens, of which he had plenty by now), and retired to a table along the wall where he could nibble the food, sip the drink, and watch the crowd more closely. Even though he knew he was being sought, it was still a surprise when the older man paused next to his table.
Lando scanned the room like he still hadn't found the person he was looking for. He wasn't even facing Kylo. Casually, the older man said, "You wouldn't happen to know where I could find 'Mek Lorson', do you?" At that, his eyes finally turned to Kylo's.
"Have a seat."
The table Kylo had chosen was a small, circular one with a half-circle of plush seating around it. Three people could crowd onto the curved bench if they were friendly, although the tiny table in the center wouldn't be large enough for more than two plates. It had a good view of the room, which was why Kylo had picked it. Lando slid in. Kylo moved to the opposite side of the table.
Lando studied him, eyes lingering on the scar, then going to the undertunic Kylo had opted to wear. It was informal even for a casino, but acceptable. Barely. His formal tunic and cloak had been left in the shuttle. Lando looked to his eyes. "It's been a long time since I've seen old Mek. I heard he passed on. Died on some planet, Ilum, I think it used to be."
"Starkiller Base," Kylo said quietly. He didn't sense anger from Lando at the subject of Han's death - sadness and acceptance instead.
"Yeah, that's what they started calling it recently. What about you? What are they calling you recently?"
"I'm calling myself Kylo."
"Kylo Ren?"
"No. That was never my name. It was a title. It doesn't apply now. The Order of Ren has been disbanded."
"Seemed to be there was another title that applied. I saw a transmission …" He waved generally, maybe at the screens set near the ceiling on the other side of the room.
Kylo sensed there were a few people who'd come in with Lando. They were still back in the crowd, but watching the two of them. The hand wave drew their attention, but it wasn't the sort of signal they were waiting to react to. So Lando was being cautious – not surprising. Kylo said, "That title doesn't apply, either."
"Are you in trouble?" Lando leaned forward a little. The expression on his face matched the emotion Kylo felt surge from him. It was compassion and concern, without any of the resentment, anger, or vengefulness he'd expected. Especially with Kylo having used one of Han's old smuggling aliases and Lando having recognized it, especially with him making it clear he knew of Han's death and probably the circumstances of it.
Kylo hadn't expected help. He'd come here hoping for it – just a sliver of a hope, but mostly he'd assumed he'd have to threaten and blackmail and extort to get what he needed. And if absolutely necessary, he'd just take what he needed by force.
"No." Kylo shook his head too fast, cheeks shaking a little, lips too loose. He suspected he looked guilty.
Lando shrugged, feigning indifference. He didn't believe Kylo. "We all get in trouble one time or another. Maybe you just got out of it, hm?" Kylo took this opportunity to eat the last half of his pastry to keep himself from saying anything stupid. "I appreciate you coming here," Lando said seriously. "I didn't know anything until a week ago, when I heard about the funeral."
"Funeral?" he asked around crumbs.
"Han's. Your father's."
Kylo nodded. Yes, that was stupid. He should have kept his mouth shut. Of course there would have been one, even without a body. They would have had an observance. He drew in a deep breath and blew it out. He had not … observed … anything. There had been no time. And Snoke would have sensed it if he'd let himself feel for him. He was blinking. His eyes were wet. He wiped at them, reflexively angry that this might be seen as weakness.
He glared at Lando, who raised both hands a little in surrender. Lando's people sharpened their attention again, then relaxed. Obviously, there was some hand signal they'd been told to respond to, but Lando wasn't making the 'come bail me out' signal. "I heard about it," Lando said. "And I still didn't know Kylo Ren was you. Not until the announcement about the new supreme leader. It came with a holo. I hadn't seen you since you were a kid, but I still knew. Right away. You got my message?"
Kylo washed down the last of his snack with most of his drink. "I got it. That's not why I'm here. You said you still didn't know that was me. They didn't tell you? They never told you?"
The look Lando gave him was hard to read, but his emotions were clearer in the Force – resentment, and not directed at Kylo. Lando shook his head. So Han and Leia had never shared with Lando Calrissian that his godson had joined the First Order.
It was strange to try to imagine events from Lando's point of view. Easier just to ask. "What … what did you think … happened?"
"I thought you went into hiding. Everyone knew Luke and Leia were twins. So if she was Darth Vader's daughter, then Luke was his son. I assumed all the students were pulled from his temple." Lando leaned back and made a one-handed gesture. "Just imagine, your kid has the Force, you send them off to Jedi school, and then you find out they're being trained by the son of Vader? It wouldn't bother me, but I'm not so out of touch I don't know how a lot of people would react. He wasn't going to have a school after that."
"The temple was burned. There were … people dead."
Lando shook his head. "You hear a lot of things on the news. Maybe an angry parent, angry student, something? But you asked me what I thought and not a 'maybe this, maybe that'. I thought all that was staged so you and Luke could lay low. Han went back to smuggling about the same time. I thought that was another cover – him wandering around a lot, visiting you guys. Seemed like the best thing I could do for you was not ask too many questions."
Kylo snorted a laugh that he couldn't contain any longer at this ridiculous fabrication. It was so far from the truth. The furthest was the idea that Han had taken up smuggling to protect him. "My father never c-" He'd almost said 'cared', but that wasn't true and he knew it. He fell back on what was true: "He never came to see me until he showed up to blow up the entire planet I was on. He didn't even tell me what he was there for when I caught up with him." He swallowed roughly. His eyes were wet again. He wiped at them without reticence this time.
"I thought he'd given up that Rebellion stuff," Lando said after a long pause.
Kylo shook his head. "He-" He couldn't explain about Rey and how she'd been involved in getting Han to change his mind. It was too painful a topic. "He found a droid that had a map to where Luke was. He took it to my mother. Then he showed up to destroy Starkiller Base."
Lando sucked at his teeth. "Right after it blew up the Hosnian system." Kylo made a sulking expression. Lando had a different take on it, though, and said, "You know, blowing up entire planets is the sort of thing that would get Leia pretty motivated, given Alderaan."
"It wasn't my decision."
"Yeah, I wonder – was it Han's?"
"What?"
"Was it Han's decision to go there? Or was it hers?"
"Are you implying my mother used the Force on my father?"
Lando shrugged. "'Maybe this, maybe that'. I don't know anything, except how fierce she can be when she feels it's needed. He always said he didn't understand why he changed his mind to help Luke with the Death Star."
Kylo's brows drew together. There were a lot of things he remembered Han had claimed to not understand about his own decision-making. Kylo had always imagined his parents as responsible, culpable adults – not as people lashing out over past traumas or swayed by the persuasive Force of others. Were they just like him in that regard?
Lando went on, "Now, you said you weren't here because of that message I sent you. Why are you here then? Do you need something?" His tone made it clear that was an offer, not an accusation.
Kylo felt his shoulders slump of their own volition. It was hard to keep up his defenses in the face of genuine concern, despite how strange it felt to have that directed at him. "I need to find her." He couldn't admit he meant Rey and not his mother. But he knew Rey would be with her and Lando would accept re-uniting the family where he might not be keen to stalk someone who didn't want to see Kylo ever again.
"You have the whole First Order looking for her."
"I'm not in the First Order anymore."
"You're not?" Lando looked over at the screens he'd waved at earlier. They showed an Ithorian and Sullustan chatting, too far away to make out the closed captioning or hear the audio.
"I'm not." Obviously, news hadn't reached here yet. Either Hux had some other issues to handle in the wake of Kylo's escape or he was going to make a big, showy announcement that took time to arrange. "I was deposed for the assassination of Snoke."
"Oh. They didn't mention that in your coronation announcement." It wasn't a coronation, but Kylo didn't argue it. Lando asked, "Was it true?"
"Was what true?"
"Did you kill him?"
"Yes."
"Good for you." Lando laughed. He flagged down a passing staff member and gestured at Kylo's drink. "Deposed, huh? I suppose they're looking for you."
"No." He wasn't sure how he was certain, but he was.
"Was that your sentence? Exile or something? Doesn't seem the First Order's speed."
"It's not. But I know the one in charge now. He's not going to … let himself be distracted by personal issues like chasing me down."
"Okay." Lando was quiet – brimming with questions, but not voicing any of them. The staff member refilled Kylo's drink. Lando waved him away without ordering anything himself. Kylo drank slowly, finding it strange to be in the company of someone he wasn't constantly on guard against. He told himself he didn't trust Lando, but he kept thinking of his father walking up to him on that catwalk. If that wasn't trust, then what was?