A/N: Howdy, ya'll! I've been playing reading One Piece as of late, and this idea sort of just came to me in a dream, as it were. I've been suffering through bad surgeries, heart attacks, and I must've eaten some weird hospital foot, or watched WAY too much of the anime, because I had a weird dream.

Naturally it gave me an idea, and so I made a few tweaks to it. I'm honestly bracing myself for the backlash of even trying this, but in all honesty, I simply couldn't bear to let the idea die.

I thought of doing a Naruto crossover with this-let me know if I should!-but then I realized I've done that aspect to death. One Piece self inserts can go one of two ways; they can either be truly good, or truly bad. Hopefully, this is the former.

Anywho, I'm sure ya'll know the places and people by now, and if you don't, be sure to watch the show yourself or at least familiarize yourself with it...

...else you'll be hopelessly lost. I'm going to be straight as laces with the aspects of my life here it to ya'll to guess which aspects of my life written here, then we'll jump in! Sorry if its short! Expect much more to come! As this is my second self-insert story, PLEASE BE NICE! I worked really, really, REALLY hard on this!

I'm also trying my best to go for Oda's classic One Piece Humor here =D I Hope I succeeded! Tis a nice long, sweet, silly, fluffy, sad chappy...as we start and close the Ohara arc!

"I am a humble and tolerant person...but there are three things I can't stand. One, when someone thinks they're the boss of me. Two, asshole marines who think they can do whatever they want in the name of their so-called justice. And three...MAKING MY FRIENDS CRY! No one is born in this world to be alone!"

~?!

Glyph

"You snore."

Fine first words to hear after fainting, no?

"Well, hello to you, too." My eyes fluttered open and immediately regretted it as I got a face full of afternoon sunlight. "Shit! Fuck! Too damn bright!" A litany of angry curses leaped from my lips as I flailed to cover my face from the blinding rays. Then I realized something. The soft sensation of grass against my arms told me I'd been moved. Among other things. I was fairly certain my clothes had been rags the last time I had looked, so why oh why was I wearing new ones?

'Well, shit on a stick...

In place of my sundered trunks and ragged shirt someone had appropriated me a pair of dark, baggy pants, coupled with a plain grey shirt at least one size too small. My head had bee bandaged-rather nicely, too I dare say-my bruised eye was now only mildly irritating, not an agonizing flame of hellish pain. When my eyes had finally adjusted enough not to wither in the sun's glare, I dared to turn my head. Sure enough, there she was only a few feet away, knees tucked into her chest.

"Where am I?"

"Ohara." came the answer. She didn't avert her eyes as I sat up. "You passed out an hour ago. I brought you here." A hand indicated the grassy clearing.

"Ah."

Reality chose to remind me that this wasn't a crack dream moments later.

Oh, right, right. Tidal wave? Check. All my friends and family gone? Check. Most likely in One Piece? Check. Trapped in a younger body? Check. Losing my mind? CHECK! Honestly, my life just seems to be a magnet for trouble lately. I'd read all manner of self-insert stories before in various genres both good and ill but this-this took the cake. I was bloody living one! I groaned, flopping back against the grass. I'd never been one to be easily depressed, but in this moment, that would've been the closest term for how I felt.

My mind wanted to badly to believe this was all just a very bad trip; something brought on by eating a bad orange, or whacking my head. Any moment now I'd wake up and have a good laugh at it all. But my body was in pain and I wasn't waking up. If anything, I was wide awake. Wide awake, and wondering what in blazes was going on...

...I bandaged them." she answered at my questing gaze. "Your wounds, that is."

"How?"

Something painful flashed through her eyes. "I...fall down a lot," she explained, the lie as blatant to her as it was to me. "So, I had to learn...

"No, I mean how did you treat me?"

In answerment, she blossomed several limbs from her shoulders in a dazzling show of petals. Ah. Right. I'd forgotten about that.

"Are you afraid?"

I couldn't help myself; I burst out laughing. There was no snicker, no giggle, no teehee of amusement-I siimply guffawed. Afraid?! Of her?! Maybe when she was older certainly-but now? She didn't have a mean bone in her body!

"Why would I be afraid of you, Ro-mmph!"

I very nearly said her name right there, my mouth snapping shut at the last instant of its own accord. No no, that wouldn't do. If I knew her name outright that would make her wary and the last thing I wanted. Looking at her now, I could see the poor girl was ready to bolt; half-expecting me to condemn her outright.

"Ahem." I coughed into my good hand, "What I meant to say, is I've seen plenty of Devil Fruist users that're waaay scarier than you. That's a pretty nice trick, though. Must be a handy ability." She gave me yet another inscrutable look; and for the life of me, I couldn't figure out what was going inside her head.

"And you...are?" I tried, hopelessly garbling the last syllable. Damnit, I always had trouble with the simple words!

"Robin." she said, and I couldn't tell if she wanted to smile or frown. "You talk funny."

"Hmm."

She looked away. "I'm...sorry about your friends."

I nearly gave myself a broken neck looking at her. "What?"

"You were the only one who survived that shipwreck.

No...surely others must have, somehow, so how...

I didn't want to look down at the shore, but I did. I couldn't even see the wreckage of the ship-if there had been any-anymore. In the distance a few wooden planks stuck out...nothing else. My heart lurched painfully in my chest and not from my disease. Sean...my brother was probably down there somewhere, dead in a watery grave. He'd probably been eaten by sharks or Sea Kings or wo-

My stomach disagreed with that notion; violently.

...stick a sock in it, sister."

Those wide eyes widened just a little more, a flicker of hurt flashing through them. Gah! Not the puppy eyes no jutsu?! This wasn't even Naruto, for crying out loud! No! No no no no no! I couldn't handle that kinda look! "Sorry!" I apologized swiftly, flinging up my hands. "I'm just a little cranky after almost drowning. You know I didn't mean that, right? Right? How about I tell you my name? Would you like that?"

Her head bobbed once in affirmation. Safe!

"My name...is Ryan." No way in hell was I telling her my last name. Too embarrassing! Waaaaaay too embarrassing! You want to know? Really? Fine. Its...Duff. Yes, Duff. Don't laugh at me, I'm Irish! I didn't choose the blasted thing!

...that's your name?"

"Yes, that would be me."

Her little face scrunched in confusion, lips moving, trying to sound it out.

"Ry...an...o."

I facepalmed so hard it actually hurt my face. Ow! How does Usopp do this all the time?!

"No no no no!" Sputtering I sat back up and propped myself up on my elbows, trying my hardest not to flush. "It's Ryan!" My hand dug itself into the dirt, tracing it out for her in what I hoped was the proper characters for the era. "See? Ryan. Now, say it with me! Ry! An! No "o" involved, there! Now you try!"

"Rin." she frowned at it, struggling with the archaic spelling.

...try again." I winced.

"Ron."

"Nope."

"Ryon."

"Getting warmer."

"Ran?"

"Oi, now...

A lightbulb popped into existence over her head.

"Ringo!"

"NO!" My shout startled several gulls, sending birds shrieking out of the treetops. "It's Ryan! RY-AN! Not Ron, not Ran, not Ryon, and definitely not RINGO! I AIN'T NO GODAMN APPLE! What part of me even looks like a damn apple anyway?! My hair is black!" Still fuming, I pushed a hand through my messy locks, "I don't have any freckles!"

"Alright, you obviously can't say my name properly." I sighed, feeling the flush fade from my face. "Lets try something easier. Of course, you could call me Neon, but that'd just be odd. I mean, that's my alias when I'm writing so-

Oops.

"Neon? Is that supposed to be a title?" Got it in one, little miss!

"As a matter of fact, it is!" I preened, trying to hide my sweatdrop. "Its short for Neonzangetsu. Where I come from, its a very important title!"

A quizzical look danced in those bright eyes. "What does it mean?"

Brrrr. Way to drop a bucket of water on my head, Robin. How was I supposed to tell an eight-year-old girl that I'd chosen it on a whim; that it didn't mean anything?

"W-W-Well," I sputtered hopelessly for a moment, "It means...um...ah...a great writer. Yes, that's it!" Shit, if I was going to lie I might as well go all the way instead of half ass it. I was going to spin a bluff that'd make Usopp himself proud. "I pride myself in knowing the history of everything I write, no matter how obscure it might be! Don't let this young face fool you! I'm the best at what I do! A master of history!" Okay, that, at the least, wasn't a lie. I'm very good with history! Both real and fictuitous!

"Like an archaelogist?" she asked.

I was so busy rambling by now that I didn't even consider the ramifications of my words, or my actions. "I guess you could say that." It was impossible, however, to miss the way her eyes lit up. The way she smiled. It made my heart hurt, and not in the bad way that normally heralded cardiac arrest.

"Do you know anything about the Void Century?!"

Urk.

Funny how one question can turn your sunny skies grey.

Just like that I remembered Ohara's fate, the terrible destiny that would soon befall this noble island. The island that I was on! Buster Call! Fire! Flames! Death! Ohara was living on borrowed time, and so was I! I felt a muscle jump in my jaw at the thought. Nothing ruined a good mood like knowing countless innocents were going to die. But what could I do? RUN! Flee! Get the hell out of here! As much as it shamed me to admit, my my first instinct screamed at me to steal a boat and get as far away from here as possible.

But if I did that...

...I shuddered, thinking of what would happen. Fire. Flame. Tears.

Her tears...

"So...what's up with the new outfit?" I said quickly, desperately trying to avoid that topic. "I'm pretty sure I wasn't wearing this earlier." A terrible thought occurred to me. "Robin! Tell me you didn't!"

"Nani?" Mission accomplished. Her face flushed an atomic red. "Of course I didn't! That was Saul!"

Saul?

As if to echo that very thought the trees shook, all branches reverberating with a mighty yawn. Something rose from the grove, a towering dark shape making itself known. My right eye twitched as a hulking shadow fell over the two of us, momentarily blotting out the sun. My jaw came unhinged and, despite my best efforts, I couldn't quite bring myself to turn around.

"That'd be me, youngin'." a familiar, drawling voice, boomed overhead. "Mighty hard to do for someone so small, but you're a friend of Robin's and it needed doin', so I did it."

"I never said he was my friend, Saul." Robin muttered.

"Then why're ya blushin'?!" came the answering cackle. "Dereshishishi!"

I knew that voice!

My body spun around hard enough to give me whiplash.

Jaguar D. Saul!

My jaw dropped even further.

"Oh." I managed eloquently.

"Looks like you're feeling better." He grinned toothily, still laughing. "Dereshishishi!"

"Yo." I raised my hand meekly, trying my darndest not to squeak a response in Japanese. "Pleased, to meet you." Now, I'm not a meek person by any means, trust me, but its pretty damn hard to be brave when you're staring at a giant. Even a nice guy like Saul. Still his presence here gave me a clock by which to work with at least. It also meant I had even less time than I'd thought. Muuuuch less. From the way Saul and Robin acted around one another they'd been friends for several days which meant...what, exactly? I didn't exactly have an accurate timeline here...

DAMNIT!

In a fit of pique I grabbed a rock grass at my feet and flung it, furiously. At leas, that was the plan. Instead my hand closed around nothing and I ended up swinging at the empty air like an idiot. In the distance, a tree toppled, crashing to the ground with a dull thud. Just like that. I hadn't even connected with it, but somehow the sheer force of my swing had torn a tree several yards away into pieces. I sweat-dropped, my find falling well short of understanding.

"Eh?"

Robin balked. "Neon...

There was a silence, broken only by the outraged shrieks of departing birds.

"Oh?!" Saul rumbled, shattering it with a dismayed snort. "That's Bloody Mary's ability! You're a fruit user, like her!"

My eyes snapped open wide.

"What what what?!" A pause, then, "Who, who, WHO?!" I'd never heard of that person!

"Ah, right. You've never been to the Grand Line, have ya? Guess I'll tell ya." his eyes took an a distant, almost glazed hue. "The ability you just used, it once belonged to someone else, someone I fought, once. They called her... Bloody Mary, and she lived up to it, I tell ya. Terrifying lady. She was a distance brawler if ya can believe that; sank entire fleets just by swingin' her arms around! A single punch from her could blow a ship to pieces! She killed over a thousand men before we finally brought her down. That's her ability ya've got there, no doubt about it. I'd recognize it anywhere there, kiddo."

I balked, gaping at my fist. Then at the sundered tree. Back at my fist.

"You're...like me?"

My eyes swiveled to Nico Robin.

"I am?"

At that, the blood in my veins turned to ice. No. No, no no no, that didn't make any sense. I'd taken a bite out of an orange, not a cursed fruit. A simple, ordinary orange. And then-I'd choked on the seeds. Was I over-thinking this? Were my new-found gifts derived from something else? But it made sense. How I'd killed that shark in this weak body, underwater. Why I was stronger. Faster. It certainly offered some credence to what I'd just done!

The reason I'd been able to half-drag myself to the shallows and be revived, despite my sudden inability to swim. Was this the answer?

"I don't believe it." I muttered blackly. "This is just too ridiculous, oi..."

"If'n ya don't believe it, try again." Saul offered. "It'd be a cryin' shame not master a talent like that."

"But I don't even know how to use it!" I whined.

The giant shrugged. "Can't help ya there. But I can give ya a target." I watched him reach down, plucking a large stone from the earth as though it weighed no more than a pebble. With an earth-shaking boom, he let it fall, dropping it neatly on the ground only a few feet away. It was a rather large thing, easily thrice my height and many more wide. I balked.

Saul settled down, grinning. "Go ahead. Take yer best shot."

"It helps when I focus." Robin offered, drawing my attention to her. "If I just picture what I want my powers to do," A pair of hands blossomed from her shoulders in a shower of petals. "It works." She seemed to grow just a little bit bolder beneath my stare, daring to continue. "Maybe it'll work for you?"

Once more, I gazed down at my hand.

Focus, eh?

Could it really be that easy?

Slowly I stood, my legs feeling wooden beneath me. Weak. I suppose that was to be expected. Fighting off a dizzy spell I struggled upright and sighted down a nearby boulder. Pictured it in my mind. Saw it shatter like glass. Swung! OUCH! Pain shot up my limb as flesh met stone and promptly became bruised. With a strangled curse I dropped, clutching at my now throbbing hand. Huh? To my disbelief, I'd actually cracked that stone, with nothing more than sheer physical strength.

It hurt like hell, but something to be proud of, I supposed.

Saul whistled. "Not bad. You're a strong one, aint'cha? But if you hit something like that without your ability or Haki, you'll just end hurting yerself."

"I can do this," My pride demanded that I do just that, so I picked myself up again, despite the weeping protest of my poor fingers. "Just let me conce-GAH! Alright, one more time-BLOODY HELL! No, no, I can do this! I can-AAAARGH!" I tried again. And again. And again. Once. Twice. Three times. My patience began to crumble. What was I doing wrong?! I knew I was concentrating, what was I missing?! I wasn't about to shout out an attack like Luffy.

Was I?

My cheeks began to heat, burning from embarassment. That was just...no...no way...

I sighed wearily, seeing no other recourse.

"Gouken." (Hard Fist)

And then, just like that, the block was gone.

"Are you freaking kidding me?! All I had to do was NAME?! IT?!" I took my frustration and harnessed it, giving it an outlet. It surged up through my chest and into my arm like fire, filling the limb with warmth. So much energy! Couldn't contain it! Couldn't...! Gasping, I jumped and swung my fist down at the nearby boulder.

My fist connected with its peak, and-

BOOM.

A wall of wind buffeted and blew me backwards into Robin, shrapnel spraying from the sudden death of stone. We went down in a messy tangle of arms and legs, shouting and exclaiming until momentum finally decided to have mercy and sprawled us apart from one another. Eventually the debris settled, shards of sharpened rock no longer flying helter skelter in every direction. All went quiet for a heartbeat. Robin gasped.

"Wow...

I dared to open an eye, to look at my handiwork. They bulged.

I stared.

And stared.

Then stared some more.

Look again, my brain told my eyes.

We're looking! my eyes insisted. It's real!

It was only moments later that I realized I was staring at a crater where the stone had once been. A very deep crater, which told me that even after I'd blasted the rock to bits, there had still been enough force to blast the ground inwards several times over. Yes, I was looking at a crater.

A freaking crater!

That, and Saul was actually laughing at me. My ears popped, and sound returned once more.

"Dereshishishi! It actually worked!" his strange, lilting laugh echoed out once more, deafening me. "I don't believe it! With a little training, you might actually be stronger than Mary! Dereshi! It makes me glad I'm not a marine anymore! Shi!"

My mind took a moment to ponder it. Concussive force. Explosions, maybe? Like that annoying booger guy from Baroque Works. What was his name, again? Eh, whatever. He was only a minor character. But this wasn't an explosion-just sheer force directed at a target. I'd swung, and the force of my swing, amplified by some unknown means, had obliterated solid stone with the sheer energy behind the swing.

Energy.

No, this wasn't the Bomb Bomb fruit. It felt...different somehow. I wasn't about to discount the fact that my body's physical strength might've improved simply by winding up here in the first place-but I'd barely touched the rock that first time. This...I'd blown it to pieces! Perhaps another test was needed after all.

I sighted down another tree, this one a fair distance away. Now that I knew the trick, it was almost painfully easy.

"Gouken!"

It blew to pieces. Well, that answered my question. Definitely not a Zoan, and certainly not a Logia by the look of that. Damn, that would've been pretty cool. Instead I was a Paramecia type, one of the most unique and varied fruits across all the seas.

Lovely.

Part of me found it ridiculously funny, my trepidation easing, just a bit. This was an awesome ability! "Well, this might not be so bad after all-

Urk!

Pain chose to flare up in my chest at the very moment, the universe brutally, disabusing me of that notion and driving me to my hands and knees. Everything went blurry, my body going numb. I knew this sensation. I'd experienced it countless times before. Agony in my chest, shortness of breath. Vomitting blood. My body shivered and shuddered against my will, the unexpected seizure taking my new-found strength and sucking it dry in an instant, leaving me as helpless as a newborn.

Somewhere above me, Robin was frantically shaking me. I barely even felt it.

Oh, god.

A. Heart. Atack.

I knew this all too well. I was going into cardiac arrest, my body reacting negatively to all of the stress and the massive exertion I'd placed on myself before. Calm down, I told myself. Just, ride it out. Deep breaths. But the pain only increased, flecks of blood bursting from my lips with each breath. Stop! I didn't want to die here! STOP! With every fiber of my being I willed my body to obey, fighting, praying, not to succumb to the searing agonies in my chest. What I wouldn't give to on the island of Drum right about now...!

Someone, somewhere up there must've heard my prayer; because that blinding, agonizing eternity finally abated. In the end I was left curled in a fetal position, gasping for breath, Saul and Robin peering over me. The latter rolled me over onto

"Um...are you alright?"

I waved her hand away. "Fine. Just fine.

"There's nothing you can do about it...I was just born this way."

Of course; it would be too much to hope that my heart condition hadn't vanished, too.

I laughed.

Well...that wasn't a crippling weakness at all. I tried to think of all those who'd ever had such a disease. Surely their were those who had such diseases and turned out fine? Whitebeard and Roger sprang to mind. I felt my optimism shrink to nothingness.

Ah, bugger.

Something occurred to me, then. Something that had been bothering me since the very beginning...

"Say, Robin...

"Hmm?"

"I'm hungry. Do you have anything to eat?"


I swear to god, I didn't plan what happened next!

Not in the slightest!

Not in the least!

Not at all!

I'd just Robin asked for some food; I wasn't expecting her to drag me to her house hand in hand! It was almost cute really, that I was being led around by a girl who as-physically, at least-three years younger than me, rendered all but helpless by her determination. Like I said, it was kinda cute.

Except for the stares we received.

All the while I was painfully aware of the looks we received, the mutterings of "Demon girl," and "Cursed child" ringing painfully clear. It wasn't long before they started grouping me with her. Clearly in their sick deluded little minds, we were cut from the same cloth. Maybe we were. I didn't care. Too damn hungry.

At this point, I would've settled for stale bread!

Of course eating with Saul was out of the question, what with him being a giant as well as wanted and whatnot. In hindsight, I really should have expected what came next, or at the very least, been prepared. Even in the real world I'd always been a magnet for trouble-and as I'd soon learn, the very same laws applied here. Something was niggling at the back of my mind; as though I'd forgotten something terribly important. My memory was still foggy, however, and refused to reveal the source of my unease.

That unease evaporated when I saw where she was leading-dragging!-me, however.

"The Tree of Knowledge."

Robin glanced at me askance.

"You know about it?"

"Just a little," I murmured in almost sacred disbelief as the towering oak came into view, casting us in shadow. "I...never thought I'd see it in person." Easily more than five thousand years old it dwarfed anything I'd ever seen in my life. Words couldn't even begin to describe its majesty. "Big" and, "Tree" simply did not suffice. I was looking at a piece of history that had existed for thousands and thousands of years. Beneath it, I really did feel like a child.

By the time I realized she was taking me inside it was too late to turn back. "Eh, wait a minute, what're you..?!" Too late, I was already inside that sprawling library, already noticed by the others. Intensely conscious of their attention, I felt my face begin to burn. This was a sacred place. Someone like me didn't belong here, no matter how curious I might be...

"Professor Clover!" Robin called, tugging harder on my arm, "I want you to meet someone!"

"Ah, Robin! And who is this?" Ah, that was him alright, the noble scholar. As ever-defined by his clover-like hair and beard, I recognized him immediately. He did not, however, know me, and seemed curious enough to approach, smiling amiacably. It was at that very moment that I considered telling him the truth; that they needed to leave this island as soon as possible. Would they even believe me? Even if they did, they'd probably think I was a spy of some sort

"This is Neon-

"-I told ya, its Ryan!-"

-and he knows about the Void Century!"

There was an awful silence.

"What?"

"Oi, Robin!" I hissed. "What the hell?! I thought we were getting something to eat-hey!"

To my dismay, a book was thrust before my face. Scribbled within were several lines of familiar text, no doubt taken from a poneglyph.

"Do you understand this?" the professor demanded.

I hazarded a glance.

"A bit...

"You can read it?!"

To my disbelief, I could. I knew the words. They'd been burned into my mind, branded in the back of my brain. I shouldn't know this, let alone be able to read it. Yet I did, as if the information had always been there; as if I'd read it only yesterday. But that didn't make any sense...did it?

Curiosity compelled me to read.

"We are the ones of the true history," I murmured, tracing my hand across the ancient text. "We are the lost. The forgotten, defeated, erased by our enemies. We were betrayed by our greatest ally and brought to the point of ruin; destroyed by those we trusted most. We are the forgotten, and the name of our kingdom is-

"No no no no! None of that!" Clover interrupted, thrusting a hand in my face before I could continue. "I don't know who you are young man, but I can't let you read any further! Merely being able to read a poneglyph is a capital crime! Robin! You never should have told him about this! You need to leave! The both of you! Right now!"

"Wait a second!" I sputtered as someone grabbed me from behind. "It wasn't her fault! And besides that, you're all in danger!"

"We already know that!"

"No, you don't!" Hands were dragging me backwards now, hauling Robin and I out of the tree." You need to leave the island! Right now!"

"Nothing is more important to us than history! We will not let idle threats intimidate us! You, on the other hand...!"

"But-

"OUT!"


"Well," I muttered as we trudged away, "That could have gone better."

"I'm sorry, Neon." Robin apologized tearfully, still clutching my hand, scrubbing at her face with the other. "I...I thought...I thought they'd be happy." Poor girl, she just wanted to learn. She didn't know that Clover and the others were doing this to protect her, just as I knew they weren't going to heed my warnings. And Neon?! Really?! She was going to call me that no matter what, wasn't she?

"Nah, its not your fault. Let the old fuddy-duddies fuss over it."

...thanks, Neon." then, in a voice so quiet I barely heard it at all, "You're...nice."

I grunted. "Yeah, that's me. I'm a giver."

"I had fun today."

Putting on a brave face, I offered my best grin. "Me too."

Inwardly, I brooded. There was no way I'd be able to warn them now, and even if I did, they wouldn't believe me. Damn. Damn damn damn DAMNIT! How could I fix this? How could I stop something like a Buster Call? The answer was so painfully simple that it hurt; I couldn't. Not alone. Robin probably wouldn't believe the truth, either. She had enough on her plate without knowing all her friends and mother were about to-

I stopped so suddenly I nearly yanked Robin clean off her feet.

"Heh? What's wrong?"

"Oh, nothing. Nothing...

My face gave no hint to the thoughts racing in my head as I let little Robin lead me along. Olivia! That was it! The beginnings of a plan began to form in my mind, a hare-brained scheme that almost guaranteed failure, yet at the same time, offered just a small chance for success. Maybe, just maybe, if I was lucky enough...

A tug on my arm reminded me of where we were.

"We're here."

My eyes observed the small house with some confusion; then I realized that this was it. This was where Robin lived. Poor kid. She really did have it rough. Still, I felt as though I were forgetting something. It was very close now, almost on the tip of my tongue, yet still out of reach. So I stood stoically by as she fished a small key out of her red dress and slotted it in the lock, turning. Then she paused.

"What's wrong?"

Her face looked almost pained in the darkness.

"Maybe Auntie isn't home."

A hand swung the door open.

Alas, Roji, Robin's fat lard of an abusive aunt, was indeed home.

And she wasn't happy to see us.

"You shitty kid!" she spun around almost before the door was fully Where were you?!"

Robin flinched as though she'd been struck. "Auntie, I just went for a walk-

A hand rose and descended all too swiftly, striking her cheek and knocking her to the floor before mine very eyes.

"You won't be walking at all when I'm through with you! You little-eh?"

I feel no guilt whatsoever for what happened next; in fact, I'm quite proud of myself. I let go of Robin's hand and waltzed right up to that annoying, abusive, insufferable woman. This was what I had forgotten. Robin's life had been a living hell even before the infamous Ohara incindent. Because of this woman. Her, and several others of course, but the abuse in her life, the events that molded her, into what she was, had begun here, in this house.

Under that hand.

My mind realized something in that instant.

I could stand by and just let it happen, of course. Let history have its say, its way. Or I could do something about it.

Needless to say, I chose option B.

Clenching my fist, I looked up at her-smiled, and said. "Grit your teeth." The words were pleasant enough, lending absolutely no hint of what was to come.

Probably why she growled at me.

"EH? What the hell do you want you damn brat-

A muscle jumped in my fist and it shot upward. I really did play WAY too much Street Fighter. Gotta love the classics, though.

"Shoryuken!"

The rising uppercut caught her right in the chin and sent her flying through the roof with a truncated squeal, her body sailing up into the clouds . She didn't come back down. Oops. Maybe I didn't know my own strength, after all. I stood there, my fingers still clenched. Well, this was One Piece and people rarely died but for flashbacks, so she might survive...maybe? Probably? Hopefully?!

Robin gawped. "What did you do that for?!"

"Because she's a bitch, that's why!"

Before she could protest further I grabbed her hand and retreated.

"EXIT STAGE LEFT!"


The next seven days were very strange for Nico Robin.

She didn't know what to think of the strange boy, Neon-Ryan!-who'd come into her life. He was strange in all sorts of ways; he was only the second person not to be frightened by her abilities, and the first boy remotely close to her age. He'd decked Auntie without a thought after she'd hit her, something no one had ever done before. He was gentle and kind and insisted that he was her friend...

But he was still strange.

Very strange indeed; from his odd speech mannerisms to the lilting drawl of his voice, even the way he held himself, as if he expected disaster to strike at a moment's notice. Like the tightly wound strings of a violin, his spirit seemed ready to snap at the slightest touch. Even so, he was always kind to her. She got the warmest blankets at night, the tastiest food, and whenever people came looking for her, no doubt blaming her for what had befallen auntie Roji, he returned them with broken bones and bruises.

No, Nico Robin didn't know what to make of him at all. Yet she knew this much:

He was her friend. And she would protect him.

No matter the cost.


Alright, welcome to Neon's first journal entry!

A full week has passed now since I've found myself on Ohara, and still no sign of the ships.

No sign of Olivia, either.

In the last seven days, Robin hasn't gone home.

Not a once.

She seemed intent on living out in the wilderness with me and Saul, moreso when news reached us that her despicable Aunt had fallen into a coma and passed away in her absence. Oddly enough, Robin didn't shed any tears for her terrible relative.

Newsflash! Apparently, I'm a heartless murderer now to the people of Ohara. Robin thinks they blame her, but I hope Clover and the others know better. I'm...still coping with the knowledge that I actually killed. Sure, I did in someone who deserved it, but still...

...I took a life.

In all honesty, I'm beginning to think I've gotten the timing horribly wrong somehow, that I made a mistake in rambling like an idiot. I hope I'm wrong. Really-I do. In that week I've spent as much time as I can trying to understand my strange new abilities, all the while trying not to provoke another heart attack. I suffered some dizzy spells, but I know they were merely a prelude to what was coming. I desperately need to get some form of medical treatment as soon as possible; especially wth Ohara, and all its knowledge now barred to me.

Drum Island will have to be my next stop. Assuming I ever got off this island.

Saul has quietly been informed that this is, in fact, Ohara, and that yes, Robin IS Olivia's daughter. He panicked a little, insisting that we leave, and I agreed, but I'm not going without Robin. I...I just can't. She's grown on me, damnit. I've done my best to take care of her out here and so has Saul, but there's a limit to what we can do.

When the time comes, I guess he'll leave and I'll stay and come what may. Funny thing though, I haven't seen Robin since this last night...

...and why do I smell smoke?

Oh no.

NO!


"Saul! point me at the nearest ship!"

The giant balked at me, standing in his hand, looking as me as if I'd just grown two heads. I suppose to him, I had. I was about to by rights, what had taken someone their entire career to accomplish. The very act was dangerous, it could tear my muscles to bloody ribbons, shatter my spine. Yet I had no choice. I was facing a fleet numbering nearly a dozen.

It was death, or death. Not much of a choice, eh?

"But you can't swim!"

"I'm not going swimming! I'll be fine!"

My arm snapped backwards, rending the air itself. "C'mon...

Every cell in my body resisted; it was like trying to swim upstream with a pair of weights strapped to your ankles. Painful, excruciating, but not impossible. For someone with enough, willpower, someone angry enough it was quite possible. After this was one piece. Fuck physics. Slowly, I felt the power build in my fist. My heart lurched. Through sheer power of will I ignored it, demanding my body to obey, to hold up against the strain of commanding such energies.

"I...

Force.

...will not...

The use of physical power or violence to compel or restrain. The capacity to do work or cause physical change; energy, strength, or active power. Power made operative against resistance; exertion. To forcibly bring will to bear on an object. Strength made manifest. To move or effect against resistance or inertia. Force equals power. Energy. Force, given physical form. Not just concussive blasts, but...

...let you...

That is, the power itself.

...touch this island!"

I swung and screamed, punching with enough force to physically ignite the air in a solid ball of power ahead of my arms. Azure flames. Yup, my brother was right-I really did play way too much Street Fighter. I played that game way too much during my childhood...

"HADOUKEN!"

And the world exploded.


"SHIT! WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?!"

Vice-Admiral Sakazuki roared in surprise as Buster Call vessel directly adjacent to his own suddenly capsized; yawing violently into another of its kin. Another sonic-boom sounded, and both tangled up ships went down together, toppled by what looked like...a giant blue fireball. That didn't make any sense! Whatever it was, it'd punched clear through the hulls! A third, and a fourth, and a fith sounded off, each one puncturing a vessel and sending

He'd only heard of such a technique once before...

"Sink all ships!" he howled! "I demand that you sink any and all ships that try to escape!"

BA-KRAM!

Another blue flare of pressure cannoned outward and then for the next hour, he was very much preoccupied trying not to drown.


You know, I wish I could say that last part happened.

I wish I could say that I blasted apart the fleet and everything ended well. I really do.

But the truth?

Weeeeeell, the truth is more complicated. Y'see, in reality...

...I only got off one shot.

Then I bolted like mad back toward the Tree of Knowledge.


Spandine was quite proud of himself.

They'd arrived under cover of darkness, striking without pause or warning, taking everyone captive. Perfect. And now he'd called in a Buster Call! There would be no escape for them! Any of them!

Even Nico Olivia, who'd tried so hard to warn them, was now captive under his heel!

He'd seen no sign of this so-called "Terror of Ohara" that the residents had been gibbering to the Marines about for the last week; and quite frankly, he didn't care. What mattered was him, himself, and his! If he made his mark here, he'd be certain to get a promotion! Rounding up all the scholars had been almost childishly easy in that regard. There was that annoying brat who kept crying, but of course, she was going to die too, so it made no difference to him.

She knew, so she would die. Just another demon of Ohara.

So easy.

Almost too easy...

"And now," he hummed, leveling the pistol at Olivia, "Since you're no longer of any use to us, I think you'll go first."

"MOM!"


I was looking right at him from the branches.

Gasping, short of breath, and fairly certain my heart was about to give out at any second, but I still had the limey bastard right in my sights. I'd left Saul back at the raft, swearing I'd return. I didn't know if Kuzan was going to target him first, or me. I really, really hoped it was me. I didn't want him to die...

...not when I was about to become a wanted man myself. Boy. You get the picture!

Spandine had a square jaw, with a slight beard on it. His hair was combed neatly, but with the back flowing. He was wearing a black suit with a peach hued shirt underneath, and a striped coat over it. I knew the nasty little bastard on sight, just as I recognize that golden den-den mushi in his hand, the pistol, the other. From the smell of the fires, the screams, Clover's prone body on the ground, I already knew what was happening.

The Buster Call was well under way. Bastards had circled around the island, and I'd never seen them coming. Stupid! Stupid idiot! Why hadn't I stopped this?!

I was too late.

But there was still one thing I could do...

...and in that, at least, I didn't hesitate.

Didn't feel any guilt either.


It all happened in the blink of an eye.

One moment Nico Olivia had been in his sights; the next, she wasn't. A dark ragged blur interposed itself between the bullet and her skull at the last second. He thought he heard his subordinates scream a split second before the hammer hit home. The harsh crack of the discharged shot filled the air, followed by ugly smell of gunpowder. And yet despite this, despite having a clear shot, he balked.

"Wha?" Spandine frowned, his finger curled around the trigger.

"OWOWOWOWOW!" a voice hissed into the smoke. "Catching bullets hurts!"

"Who in the hell are you, punk?!

"Me?" The smoke cleared, revealing a think, lanky shape. "Nobody special. But you...you've gone and pissed me off."

He wasn't much to look at; a lanky boy in ragged trousers and a tattered shirt. But it was the blood on him that frightened him, truly unnerved him. And the eyes. Angry, angry eyes, bleak and blank. He didn't like them and didn't realize that it wasn't his blood, but that it was the blood of his subordinates until he looked around. Impossible. To kill both men at once and then stop a bullet, y-you'd have to be...no! He couldn't be that fast! It simply wasn't possible!

"Tell me, do you bleed?" The terror growled, its voice dark and menacing as it surged forward. "You will. A thousand drops of blood for every bit of innocent spilled here today!"

The pistol jerked madly in his hand.

"OI! STAY AWAY FROM ME YOU LI-

He never saw the punch that killed him.

...because his head had already been pulverized to atoms by the time he realized he was dead. His body joined him in death moments later, that headless corpse toppling over with a wet squelching sound. His pistol fell to the ground with a clatter. The "great" Spandine, killed with a single punch. Nico Olivia and her daughter we left gawping, but it was the latter who found her voice first.

"Neon-san!"

The boy in question grunted as she slammed into him with a hug, sending him stumbling.

"Are you a friend of hers?"

Those dark eyes regarded her for a moment.

"Guess you could say that."

"Then please...get her out of here!"

"Sure thing." His head bobbed in affirmation. "You too."

"No, I have to-

Olivia didn't have time to protest before an arm locked around her wrist, before a fist kissed her face, sending her spinning into slumber. She never felt the slim arms wrap around her, never felt them lift her, drag her up and onto a shoulder. And she certainly never heard the grunt of:

"Island! Leaving! Now!"


Robin watched Saul die.

It happened just as Neon was dragging her to the raft; one moment she saw the giant in the distance, waving as they hurried closer. She thought save haven was close, that they'd be able to escape from this nightmare at last, if only the four of them. Yes, they'd escape together, and then, somehow, someway, everything would be alright. Neon had brought her mother against her will of course and she was still out cold, but surely he'd make her understand; surely they could-

What happened next dashed her hopes to ashes.

"No!" He shouted, his voice making itself known all too late. "Don't come here!" She saw the desperation on his face a moment later. "Its a trap! Run away! RUN!" Then his leg was simply gone, engulfed in ice. He gave a short, startled shout and toppled forward, gasping. Neon skidded to a halt, yanking her back as a lanky an appeared from behind the giant's slowly freezing body.

Everything moved so fast after that.

So...fast.

Olivia went sailing over his shoulder at the sudden loss of movement and momentum-and into the man's waiting grasp. A long-fingered hand closed around the unconscious woman's throat, holding her aloft. The owner of that hand held her there for a long moment, a blank, almost indifferent look hidden behind his sunglasses. And then he struck.

"Ice Time."

Before her very eyes, Nico Robin watched her mother become little more than a frozen statute. Beautiful and resplendent, and then...

...gone.

A fresh explosion momentarily concealed her mother from view; when nest she looked she beheld only frozen earth. Her heart lurched at the site. No. No, she couldn't be gone. Not after all this, not when they'd come so far...no...

"MOM!"

Her heart shattered a thousand times with that scream; everything she was ever was, ever would be, threatening to crumble around her. Mama. She was gone. Her only parent, the woman she'd only just met; eradicated by a wave of ice, likely rendered so much broken shards, unable to even defend herself...and now, gone.

"Aokiji!"

"What was the point of that, Kuzan?!" Neon shouted! "She was defenseless!"

"Ararara," The thus-named marine hummed, "I'm sorry I had to do that, I really am. But she really was a dangerous woman." those beady eyes narrowed. "And it seems you know me, boy."

Neon was visibly shaking now, eyes blazing. "I know you're better than that! How dare you!"

"Ara, that's a scary look-OOMPH!"

Whatever else he might've said died as a giant fist smashed down atop him, crushing his body to fine, icy powder. Saul groaned, the last of his strength fading as he toppled forwards. Aokiji was already reforming, but a savage heel-palm from Neon sent him stumbling. The boy bounded after him, screaming bloody murder. Concussive fist met icy knuckles; the latter shattering, and then there was only a whirlwind of blows consuming a boy and a man, blocking them from sight.

"I'LL KILL YOU!"

"No! Not you! I can't lose you, too!"

"You won't!"

"Ro...bin...

A whispery breeze brought her attention back to the supposedly dead giant.

"Saul?!"

"Listen... to me, Robin!" He shouted, wheezing audibly as the ice crawled across his chest. "You might be scared at the moment, but remember! You've got each other! And, someday, you'll definitely find nakama!" She thought she saw Neon bristle on his battle, but it might have been her imagination.

"Nakama?"

"Aye! The sea is vast. Someday, without any doubt, strong, loyal nakama who protect you will appear! Remember that, both of you! No one is ever born in this world to be alone!" The ice had found his neck now, slowly claiming the rest of him. "Believe in him, Robin! Like he believes in you! When it gets rough, rely on him! He may look a little flaky but he's a real good guy! And when it gets even tougher, do as I taught you! Just laugh like this! Dereshishishi!"

The ice claimed him in the next instant.

...and it seemed it was about to claim her, too.


Now, I was fighting an Admiral.

Why me?!

The very notion of it was foolish to the extreme; how could I, an untrained boy, possibly hope to defeat some as skilled as Aokiji? Simple? I couldn't. I was getting my bony ass handed to me in spectacular fashion as I never had before; the only reason I wasn't a block of ice was thanks to my unsual ability. A terrified Robin lay crouched behind me, cowering near Saul's frozen body. Not her fault; I was the idiot here, throwing my self at Aokiji like this, but...

...I just couldn't stand to see her cry.

But bravado is one thing; actual battle ability is another.

In short, he was pounding the ever-living crap out of me. My own abilities prevented him from outright freezing me or my limbs, and I'd even got a good shot in, but I knew a losing battle when I saw one. Whatever had empowered me to overwhelm him before was rapidly fading. So was my own stamina.

"Ice Age!"

"Gouken!"

A wall of iridescent ice greeted the sundering force of my own punches, each negating one another, and blasting us back. As ever, the frigid bastard was the first to stand, righting himself from a pile of broken wooden and other debris. I found myself blasted into the shallows, my head smacking on the small boat that was mean for our escape. I was nearly frozen there too as a frosty hand lashed out, turning the water into thin lines of ice on either side.

Too close!

"Arararara, that's a scary ability." a cloud of cold steam wafted past his pursed lips. "To be able to hurt me, without haki...that's some punch, indeed."

I spat blood. My heart was screaming, demanding that I stop, that i rest. But that meant death. So I stood once more.

"I am a humble and tolerant person...but there are three things I can't stand." My body stood woodenly, a puppet severed from its strings. "One, when someone thinks they're the boss of me. Two, asshole marines who think they can do whatever they want in the name of their so-called justice. And three...MAKING MY FRIENDS CRY! No one is born in this world to be alone!"

We collided once more in a storm of ice and fists, and I was fairly certain I blacked out. My body was fighting solely on instinct, sheer willpower was all that kept my body upright, my poor heart from giving out. Yet, the relentless tide of blows couldn't last forever. One of us had to make a mistake. Eventually, someone sipped. Unfortunately, that someone was me.

A savage kick sent me sprawling.

"But it looks like it takes a pretty heavy toll on you, too."

"Shut up...

"You're pretty stubborn," he replied, raising a hand, "but this is the end."

I scowled.

"You know, I always hated that laid back attitude of y-

That was my last thought before the wall of ice hit me.

A hand sprouted and yanked me out of the way, sending me tumbling headlong into the brush. Sputtering, I stood. Robin?!" Sure enough there she was, standing firmly between me and my cold tormentor, arms folded defensively and prepared to summon more of her "petals" against him. Insane! Did she actually mean to fight him?!

"Don't hurt him!" she cried!

Aokiji glared bloody red daggers at her and for a moment, just a moment, I thought he was going to kill her on principle. Then he seemed to sag. A hand covered his face, sheltering that tan visage in shadow. What he thought in that instant I still don't know, only that he came to a decision. One that changed our lives.

"Go."

"Ha?"

"Just...go." He sighed, adjusting his glasses. "You've made your point. I've had enough of being the devil today." Everything about him suggested that was the case, the slump of his shoulders, the weariness with which he looked at us. "I'm no ally of yours, Nico Robin, but I can't bring myself to kill kids. I won't stoop to Sakazuki's level." His hand waved again, thinning the ice around the dingy. "There. Keep rowing straight ahead and you should find land. Now...go. While they're busy bombarding the island.

Robin-sweet, gentle Robin-looked to be on the verge of saying something that'd get us both killed, so I hastily intervened.

"Right, fine. We're going-

"Wait."

I glowered at him, suddenly aware of the hand upon my shoulder. "What?"

"I saw you sink that ship. I'll be watching for you, especially." he warned, eyes glinting behind the glasses as he leaned forwards, bringing his face to my level. "I don't know who you are, Neon, or what your relationship to that woman is, but if you follow in Bloody Mary's footsteps, I'll be the first one to kill you."

Something stung with those words.

"If you ever kill innocents like this again, I'll be the one killing you." I snapped, shrugging off his arm, jabbing him in the stomach. "You can't call this justice. This?" My arm indicated the Olivia and Saul's broken bodies, the burning flare that had once been Ohara in all its green glory. "This isn't justice. Its slaughter."

"You sound like a marine." he frowned.

"Well, I'm not a pirate."

Together, we climbed into the boat, me pulling Robin in afterwards. I started rowing and didn't look back, not trusting Aokiji enough to take my eyes off him. No ships challenged us, and the burning flame that was once Ohara steadily shrank on the Horizon. Gradually the sound of bombardment began to fade aways into the distance. The entire time, Robi didn't say anything. She simply sat there, curling up into me like an armadillo on my lap, crying quietly.

I felt my jaw clench. Never again. I never wanted to feel this weak and helpless ever again.

She cried for a very long time.

A/N: Aaaaaaaaaaand there we go! My very first try at a self-insert story for Once Piece*blushes furiously*and I pray to god that I didn't do to badly. I REALLY WANTED THIS TO BE ENTERTAINING HERE FOLKS! I'm a master writer when it comes to Naruto, Bleach, and other works of fiction, but they be just that. FICTION. This is me inserted into this story, bits of my life plumbed out before you, and, well, to be honest, its a tad embarassing. None of the oddity I did with Not a Hero. Just simple insanity...and now I'm stuck as a kid...who can't swim...hint hint hint!

That was hard as hell to do, considering I had no idea where to start and now...WHERE in blazes do I go?!

Ideas?

Naturally, I plan to go more in depth with certain characters than most...including new events and all sorts of chaos as I plunge into the the wild, wacky, sad, awesome world of One Piece! It will make ya laugh too, I promise! God, I really am going to ruin time as we know it in this one...and all ideas are welcome!

So, in the Immortal Words of Atlas...

...Review, Would You Kindly?

...hope ya'll like it! And of course, enjoy the preview! Hope it makes ya smile a little.

(Preview)

Robin sniffled softly. "You're not going to leave."

I sighed, crouching down with her in the alley. My hand found her hair, mussing it.

"Hey, I'm not going anywhere...

R&R=D