Chapter Seventeen

Charlie clung onto Joey for as long as she could. Eventually, she broke away, looking down.

"Joey, please don't pity me," she half whispered.

Joey tilted Charlie's chin upwards so she was looking at her.

"There are a lot of things I'm feeling for you right now but pity isn't one of those things," she said honestly.

Charlie waited for her to continue.

"You have always been the most beautiful, amazing, wonderful woman I've ever met, Charlie," Joey told her. "I've never stopped loving you."

"Even like this?" Charlie asked, her voice cracking.

"Like what, Charlie?" Joey asked.

"This!" Charlie said desperately. "Broken!"

"Charlie, when I look at you, I don't see someone broken," Joey insisted. "I see someone strong."

Charlie smiled tearfully.

"That's a beautiful thing to say," she said. "But at some point, reality is going to hit you. Joey; we're talking wheelchairs. A life of planning ahead for accessibility options and disabled parking. I don't even know the depth of the kind of care I might need."
"I'm committed," Joey said.

"But you don't even live here," Charlie reminded her.

"I can move," Joey offered.

Charlie shook her head.

"You would up and move to come and look after me?" she challenged.

"I would up and move to love you," Joey corrected.

Charlie gazed at her ex-girlfriend, longing for her words to be true. Joey reached out and stroked her face.

"Don't think about anything now, okay?" she said. "You've been to hell and back already. Just know that I'm here."

She leant forward and kissed Charlie's forehead.

"I'm here."

Charlie moved and captured Joey's lips, kissing her tenderly at first and then harder, wrapping her arms around her. Joey leaned over the bed, losing herself in Charlie. Eventually, they parted, resting their foreheads together, both of them breathing hard.

"I love you," Charlie whispered.

"I love you too," Joey replied.

Ruby arrived at the hospital early the next morning. She had hardly slept the previous night, worried about Charlie and how upset she had been about her test results. Since the shooting, she and Charlie had been closer than ever but it was like all her walls had come down last night. She had been so hurt when she had thrown her out, although Charlie had texted her to apologise, say goodnight and tell her she loved her. She just hoped that her mother was in a better, more open mood this morning. She had brought coffee and some pastries from the Diner and she hoped to have a much more successful visit.

"Hey," she greeted, poking her head round the door. "How are you feeling this morning?"

To Ruby's relief, her mother smiled at her, albeit weakly, welcoming her into the room.

"I brought you some breakfast," she said. "If you're hungry?"

"That's lovely," Charlie said, thanking her. "I'm sorry about yesterday."

"You were upset," Ruby said.

"I overreacted," Charlie told her. "And I've been sufficiently told off by Joey."

Ruby was surprised. She sat down and asked her to elaborate.

"She came back last night to talk to me," Charlie explained. "We had a good talk."

She allowed herself a small smile, thinking of their kiss. She still couldn't quite get her head around things. Would Joey really turn her whole life upside down just to be with her? It wasn't like she could really offer her anything now.

"Oh really?" Ruby queried, noticing the smile.

Charlie felt immediately shy.

"I knew there was still something between you!" Ruby grinned. "So…? Come on, Mum! Don't leave me hanging!"

"We kissed," Charlie admitted. "After she yelled at me for feeling sorry for myself."

"Joey yelled?" Ruby said, shocked.

It didn't sound like a very Joey thing to do.

"I told you she told me off," Charlie said. "And it helped. It did. Stopped me from feeling so sorry for myself. This paralysis isn't the end of the world."

"Especially when you've got a hottie that wants to date you," Ruby remarked. "I mean, who but you could pick up girls from her hospital bed?"

She grinned, making Charlie laugh.

"I don't know," the police officer said doubtfully. "I mean, it's one thing to come and visit me while I'm stuck in here but… to get together for real… to take all this baggage on…"

"Mum, it's not like you didn't have a shit load of baggage before and she was willing to take it on the first time around," Ruby pointed out.

Charlie half laughed. Ruby took her hand.

"You completely screwed things up with Joey last time," she told her.

"I am aware!" Charlie snapped.

"I'm not trying to be harsh," Ruby apologised. "What I'm saying is that you screwed it up because you got too caught up on the details and you got scared. You have a second chance with the woman you love. Different details but very similar situation. Please don't make the same mistake."

"It's just that I'm stuck with… this…" Charlie said, gesturing to her body and hospital bed. "I don't want to drag Joey down with me."

"What if that's what she wants?" Ruby challenged. "What if she doesn't see it as being 'dragged down'? What if she doesn't care about any disabilities you might have to live with? What if she loves you exactly as you are?"

"I guess… I find that hard to accept," Charlie admitted.

"And I understand that," Ruby said. "You've never been treated that way before. Except once. With Joey."

Charlie smiled, admitting that she was right.

"When did you get so wise?" she asked.

Alex and Willow met up on the beach before Alex's shift at the hospital began. They were both feeling a little shy. Things felt so new between them but they felt right too. Willow was already there when Alex arrived. She greeted her with a shy kiss.

"How are you this morning?" Willow asked.

"I'm good," Alex said. "I'm a little worried about seeing Charlie but you definitely made me feel better last night."

She had been very reluctant to leave her the night before but the pair of them had made a definite decision to take things slowly. So she had dragged herself home and taken a cold shower instead.

"Me too," Willow grinned. "Although I had to have a cold shower after you left!"

Alex laughed and admitted the same. Willow looked around and stole another kiss.

"Have you spoken to Dean?" Alex asked.

They held each other's hands and walked along the sand together.

"Not yet," Willow said. "I'm going to catch up with him today. Talk to him properly."

Alex nodded, agreeing that it was a good idea. She offered to support her if she needed it.

"I'll be okay," Willow assured her. "But thank you. I appreciate it."

"Well, I'm only a phone call away," Alex promised.

Willow leant again her, enjoying her closeness and support.

"What are you going to say?" Alex asked.

"Just that we're together, you're my girlfriend and…"

Alex stopped. Willow froze.

"I mean… is that okay?" Willow asked.

Alex smiled.

"It's definitely okay," the Doctor assured her.

Ruby was still at Charlie's bedside when Alex arrived. Charlie immediately apologised to her Doctor for being so rude and throwing her out the night before.

"Hey, no apology necessary," Alex said. "You were completely overwhelmed and super stressed. I completely understand. I just wish I could have been a bit more help."

"You've been nothing but helpful," Charlie told her.

"I concur," Ruby added.

Alex smiled gratefully.

"How are you feeling now?" she asked.

"Better," Charlie said.

"Well, that's good," Alex said.

She came over and checked her temperature, noting that it was coming down.

"They started me on the antibiotics last night," Charlie said.

"Good," Alex said. "That's good. Now, have you had time to process what the Specialist said to you?"

"A little," Charlie sighed. "I mean, what can I say really? I'm going to be in a wheelchair for the rest of my life. My career is over. I just…"

She shrugged.

"There are things we can do to help you," Alex said. "We can't cure the problem, Charlie but I can organise physiotherapy to start straight away. And your CBT sessions are due to start this afternoon if you still want them."

"Yes please," Charlie said quietly.

"Great," Alex said. "I think they'll help you."

Charlie nodded. She was nervous about having counselling. But she knew she had to do whatever it took to get well physically and mentally.

"There are also different methods we can use for managing any pain you have," Alex continued. "You are absolutely not alone in this, Charlie. I'm here to support you and so is the whole team. Plus you have your family and your friends."

Charlie put a brave and grateful smile on her face. She squeezed Ruby's hand.

"I know," she said. "Thank you. And I'll take anything on offer. I could have died. I didn't. So I need to take this as my second chance. I'm going to rebuild my life and make it the best life I possibly can."

"I'm proud of you, Mum," Ruby said.

"And for what it's worth," Alex added. "I'm proud of you too."

Charlie looked at her.

"It's worth a lot," she said.

Willow waited for Dean and Brax to come out of the water where she had spotted them both surfing. She twisted her fingers together, nervous about the conversation she was about to have. Dean ditched his board and approached her. Brax hovered behind. Willow asked Brax if he was okay. He shrugged.

"How am I supposed to be?" he asked. "Charlie dumped me. I guess you heard."

"Yeah," she said. "She's suffering a lot right now."

"So am I," he snapped.

"Well, you didn't get shot or left paralysed for the rest of your life so…"

He frowned.

"That's the prognosis?" he asked.

"I think so," she said.

He took his board and ran up the beach. Willow turned back to Dean.

"So um… about last night…" she said.

"You and the hot doc?" he asked with a slight grin.

She blushed, not quite sure what to say.

"So, did that just happen or has it been happening for a while or…?" he wanted to know.

"It's new," Willow said. "But no, not the first time. We're… together."

Dean hugged her. She protested, not wanted to get wet.

"Look," he said, withdrawing. "If you're happy, I'm happy. Sorry if I was dumb last night. I was just a bit shocked to see you getting it on with a chick!"

They both laughed and began walking up the beach together.

"I mean… it was pretty hot!" he remarked.

"You're telling me!" Willow agreed with a laugh.

Dean grinned.

"Well, if you ever want to give me any details on your love life, that's totally fine," he said. "I mean, I've got to say, you have amazing taste in women! But don't tell Zig I said that!"

Willow laughed, shoving him in the arm.

"Thanks for being so cool with this," she said. "I was really worried about telling you."

He put his arm around her, asking her why.

"You're my best friend," she said sincerely. "Your opinion matters to me."

"Well, my opinion is that you're my best friend," he told her. "And your happiness is all that matters."

They stopped walking and turned to face each other.

"Does Alex make you happy?" he asked.

Willow couldn't help but smile.

"She makes me happier than I've ever been in my life," she admitted. "She's so wonderful, Dean. She makes me feel like I can do anything, be anything. She just gets me, you know?"

Dean hugged her again.

"That's the best thing I think I've ever heard you say," he said.

Joey had taken Jasper for a walk and then headed over to the hospital. She took Alex aside and asked her for a favour, which she readily agreed to. Now, with the support of staff, Charlie was being lifted into a wheelchair. Joey felt anxious, worried she was doing the wrong thing as she saw Charlie tremble, having not left her bed before. But finally, she was settled in her chair, catheter attached but hidden discreetly.

"Is this really okay?" Charlie asked nervously.

"It's perfectly okay," Alex said. "It'll be good for you. Someone can come along with you if you're worried?"

"Maybe…" Charlie said.

"I don't mind going with them," Jasmine offered.

"Thank you," Ruby accepted.

The four of them, Charlie, Joey, Ruby and Jasmine headed towards the exit and onto the hospital grounds, in a bid to get Charlie some fresh air and freedom from her room. Charlie felt herself begin to relax a little as Joey pushed her carefully along the pavement. She reached up and touched Joey's hand. She looked upwards and smiled. Joey smiled down at her.

"How does it feel to be out of that room?" she asked.

"It feels good," Charlie said honestly.

Alex answered her phone immediately when Willow rang, ducking into her office.

"How did it go?" she asked eagerly.

She desperately hoped that Dean had been accepting of their relationship.

"It couldn't have gone better," Willow told her.

"Oh, yay!" Alex enthused. "I'm so pleased."

"He was really supportive and says he just wants me to be happy," Willow told her. "Which I am. I'm the happiest I've ever been in my whole life. Because of you."

Alex smiled, not quite sure what to say. She cleared her throat.

"Have I blurted out too many feelings?" Willow asked worriedly.

"Not at all," Alex said. "I was just trying to think of a cool way to tell you I feel the same. Which I clearly just haven't. But I do… feel the same. I never thought I'd meet someone at all, let along someone like you. You're amazing and you make me happier than I ever thought I could feel."

Willow smiled into the phone.

"Well then Dean is absolutely supportive," she confirmed. "Plus he thinks you're super hot."

Alex burst out laughing.

Joey and Ruby stood back while Jasmine and a couple of other nurses settled Charlie in bed. They winced as they watched the awkwardness and heard her yelp in pain. It was so hard to see her struggle like that. They both stepped forward once she was free of the staff.

"Was the stroll outside worth it?" Joey asked anxiously.

Charlie reached out and stroked Joey's face.

"It was absolutely worth it," she said. "It felt so good to be outside. Thank you."

Ruby smiled to herself, watching their interaction.

"Well, hopefully we can do it again soon," Joey said. "And when your physio starts, hopefully the transition from the bed to the chair will become easier too."

Charlie smiled sadly.

"Hopefully," she said. "That process was a bit embarrassing."

Joey reached out and hugged her. She was desperate to kiss her but resisted. They were just drawing away from each other when the door burst open. Brax stood there looking stressed and a little breathless.

"Charlie," he said, barging past Joey as if she didn't matter. "You're wrong. I can do it. I was being selfish before. I was scared."

Charlie looked utterly confused as he took her hand.

"But I love you," he said. "And I am in it for the long haul. For whatever your disability means. For the exciting stuff and the mundane. I lost my head for a moment Charlie but it was only for a moment, I swear. I'm here now and I love you. I love you more than anything in the whole world. Please take back what you said and give me another chance. Give us another chance."

Charlie looked at him and then Joey. She glanced back at Brax. But the next time she looked at Joey, she was gone.

Next time… Alex and Willow go on their first official date and Charlie has a decision to make…