Chapter Eighteen
"What do you think, Charlie?" Brax asked urgently. "Will you give us another chance?"
Charlie couldn't find the words. This was the last thing she had expected.
"Um… perhaps I should give you some space," Ruby suggested, slipping out of the room and ignoring her mother when she called her name.
"Charlie?" Brax nudged, staring into her eyes.
"Joey!" Ruby called, catching sight of her heading towards the exit and chasing her down the corridor.
Joey didn't slow down. Ruby sped up to reach her, tapping her on the shoulder and spinning her round
"Joey!" she said. "Please stop."
"Ruby, I can't do this again," Joey said.
They walked towards the hospital exit again, Joey desperate to get to her car and home. She just wanted Aden and Jasper, to pack up and go home. She wanted to forget that she had ever let herself hope that she and Charlie ever stood a chance again.
"Joey, please don't leave," Ruby begged. "Please don't jump to conclusions. She didn't say yes to him."
"She didn't say no either," Joey pointed out.
"I think she was just shocked," Ruby said. "And she's not exactly firing on all cylinders right now, is she? She's exhausted and she's in pain and her brain doesn't work like it used to."
"So she needs a big, strong man to take care of her," Joey said, pulling out her car keys.
Ruby physically stopped her from walking.
"Or she needs a kind, amazing woman who she's never stopped being in love with," she argued. "Joey, don't run away. You did that last time and where did it get you?"
"I've been fine," Joey lied.
"Really?" Ruby challenged. "Because the second you heard Charlie had been shot, you dropped everything to come and be with her. Did you ever stop thinking about her?"
Joey didn't answer. She couldn't stop picturing the reunion Brax and Charlie were probably having back in the hospital.
"And quite frankly, Charlie has been a disaster these past few years," Ruby continued. "She needs you, Joey. Don't leave her when she needs you. Please."
"Okay," Joey relented. "I'll just give them some space for now. Let her make up her mind what she wants. Make my decisions from there."
Ruby nodded and hugged her. Joey drove away.
"Brax, I can't," Charlie said. "I'm sorry."
He looked shocked. He clearly hadn't expected her to say no.
"What do you mean, you can't?" he asked, hurt and a little angry.
She saw him grip the metal bars on the side of her bed.
"Too much has happened, Brax," she said. "I can't be with you."
"Of course a lot has happened," he agreed. "Way too much to let this go."
"No," she disagreed. "Too much. It's too late. We're in different places in our lives."
"But we're not!" he insisted. "I'm right here. With you."
"Now," Charlie said. "What about tonight? Tomorrow? Next week?"
"I'll be here," he tried to assure her.
Charlie shook her head. She didn't believe it for a second.
"What about when I can't get onto the beach with you when you're surfing because my wheelchair doesn't work on the sand?" she said. "What about if I can't have sex anymore?"
"Why wouldn't you be able to…?" he said worriedly.
She half laughed.
"Exactly," she said. "Where will you be then? Sleeping with someone else."
"No, Charlie…" he insisted.
"You will," she said. "I wouldn't even blame you. I wouldn't want to be with me, Brax. I don't expect you to stay."
He reached out and held her hand, telling her that he loved her.
"But I don't love you," she said tearfully.
The words were out before she had even realised that she meant them. He pulled his hands back quickly. Hurt turned to fury. She felt anxious as she saw rage burning in his eyes.
"You can just turn all those feelings off?" he demanded. "Just like that?"
"It's not just like that though, is it?" she said quietly. "While you've been charging around the Bay, doing whatever or whoever you've been doing, ignoring me… I've been in hell, Brax."
"I've been in hell too!" he yelled loudly. "And I haven't cheated on you!"
"Good," she said quietly. "Thank you."
"But don't think screwing someone else isn't the first thing I'm about to do," he said.
He turned and left. Charlie sank back against the bed and closed her eyes, exhausted.
Alex was nervous as she waited for Willow at Angelo's. She twisted her fingers anxiously together, her eyes glued to the door, worried that she might change her mind about their date. It had taken her forever to choose an outfit and get ready. She couldn't remember the last time she had been so eager to impress someone.
She smiled brightly and stood up when Willow, looking amazing, her hair loose and flowing, walked into the restaurant. Willow strode towards her, half shy and half nervous herself. She greeted her with a polite but still bold kiss on the lips. Alex smiled at the way Willow blushed. They sat down at the table together.
"It's good to see you," Alex said.
Willow beamed at her and returned the sentiment.
"I was so nervous getting ready," she admitted. "I didn't know what to wear or…"
"You look beautiful," Alex assured her.
Willow found herself blushing again.
"So do you," she said.
It still felt strange to compliment a woman in a romantic way. But she couldn't stop doing it. She loved doing it, in fact.
"So, shall we look at the menu?" Alex suggested.
"Jo, why don't you just call her?" Aden asked.
The pair of them were in their caravan, lying side by side, the dog at their feet.
"Surely it's up to her to call me?" Joey said tiredly.
"Or you could be proactive…"
Joey looked at him.
"In my position, tell me that you would go grovelling," she said.
"Fine," Aden said. "But can we get out of this van, please? I'm getting claustrophobic."
Joey sat up, disturbing Jasper.
"Let's go for a walk," she decided.
It was enough for a Labrador to get extremely excited and almost barge out of the door.
Alex and Willow were both feeling a lot more relaxed as they tucked into their food over a glass of wine. Both of them had privately decided not to drink much, not wanting to have cloudy heads on their first date. They had held hands while their food arrived and conversation had flowed easily, despite their nerves.
"How's Charlie doing?" Willow asked.
"She was okay when I left," Alex said. "We actually took her outside today for some fresh air."
Willow looked hopeful.
"Was she alright?" she asked.
"She was really happy to be out of that room," Alex said. "I don't think being cooped up is doing much for her mental health. I think we need to get her out as much as possible. But her physiotherapy is starting soon hopefully. As soon as we can get her strong enough to use the chair independently, she can go home and start her life again."
"I mean… I can help…" Willow offered. "I'm not a physio but I could help as an extra if that would be okay? I could help her try and strengthen her arms and do some exercises? If the physio didn't object. Charlie always used to train with me anyway so she knows me."
Alex smiled.
"You're so kind," she said. "I'll clear it with the physio but I think Charlie would really appreciate that."
Willow beamed at her.
"Great," she said. "Well, you just let me know if and when I'm wanted."
Alex caught her eye.
"You're always wanted," she said.
Willow blushed. She leaned in and stole a quick kiss, hoping the bar was busy enough that nobody would notice.
"Do you want to get out of here?" she asked.
Aden and Joey were walking Jasper in no particular direction when Joey's phone beeped.
I need to see you. Please. Cxx
"What the hell does that mean?" she demanded, having read the message out to her friend.
"Well, reading between the lines, I think she needs to see you," Aden replied.
Joey elbowed him.
"But why?" Joey snapped. "To dump me in person? Not that we even got together but…"
"Just go and find out, would you?" Aden complained. "This is exhausting!"
Irritated, Joey turned and walked back towards the caravan.
Alex and Willow strolled along the beach hand in hand. Alone out there, they both suddenly felt a little shy. Deciding to be the bold one, Willow stopped in front of Alex and took her other hand.
"So… do I cut it as second date material?" she asked hopefully.
Alex smiled. She reached out and stroked Willow's hair, pulling her closer and kissing her. Willow leaned into her, smiling into the kiss and wrapping her arms around Alex's shoulders. They stood under the moonlight, the world falling away from them, losing themselves in each other.
"Sorry… what was the question?" Alex asked when they eventually parted.
"I can't remember," Willow said a little breathlessly.
They both giggled, kissing again.
"So um… what shall we do now?" Alex wondered, the conversation they'd had the other night playing on her mind.
She was nervous about rushing ahead. She had always been a stickler for waiting when it came to the physical side of a relationship. But then, she hadn't been in the dating game for ten years. All of this was new to her. The world was different than it was ten years ago. She was different. And she liked Willow. She really liked Willow.
"Have you ever been skinny dipping before?" Willow asked.
The question took Alex by surprise. She opened and closed her mouth a couple of times then shook her head. She caught the wicked glint in her eye.
"Then that's absolutely what we should do," Willow decided.
"Hang on," Alex protested. "We can't just…"
Willow took her hand and dragged her down towards the water in the dark.
"No!" Alex protested, giggling. "We can't! What if we get caught? Or someone takes our clothes? Or…?"
Willow stopped and kissed her into silence.
"Relax," she said. "It'll be fun. And I'd love to be your first."
Alex half laughed and half coughed. She watched Willow begin to strip. She couldn't stop watching.
"Come on," Willow coaxed, eager for Alex to join in.
The Doctor reluctantly began to undo the buttons on her shirt. She was nervous but excited all at the same time, carried away with Willow's confidence.
"Ready?" Willow said.
They quickly slipped off their last remaining item of clothes and rushed into the water.
Joey knocked on Charlie's door, hesitantly entering the room. She found Charlie alone, which was a relief. At least she had decided that she and Brax ought not to break the news together.
"Hey," she managed.
"Hi, Joey," Charlie said.
She sounded weak and she looked pale. Joey's instinct took over, worried for the woman she still loved.
"Are you okay?" she asked. "You don't look well. Do you need something?"
"I'm fine," Charlie assured her. "I'm just tired."
"Do you want to do this another time?" Joey asked, turning to leave.
Charlie caught hold of her hand with surprising strength. Joey remained by her bed.
"You just left earlier," Charlie said.
It was a statement more than an accusation. Joey shrugged.
"It just seemed like you and Brax needed to talk," she said.
"You thought we were going to get back together," Charlie said, calling her out.
Joey shrugged again.
"Did you?"
"Of course not," Charlie said. "How could you even think that?"
"He was promising you the earth," Joey said. "Everything you ever wanted."
Charlie looked her in the eye.
"You're everything I ever wanted," she corrected.
Joey swallowed. Her throat felt tight and she cursed the tears stinging her eyes.
"I thought you knew that," Charlie continued. "Why don't you know that?"
"I just thought…"
"You still don't trust me," Charlie realised.
She looked down, her own tears beginning. Joey reached out and held her hand.
"I do trust you," she promised. "I just got scared. Brax isn't just any guy, Charlie. You were about to give up everything for him. If you hadn't got shot…"
"But I did get shot!" Charlie snapped angrily.
Joey tensed. She hadn't meant to upset her. She never wanted to upset her.
"I did get shot," Charlie repeatedly more quietly. "And it's screwed my whole damn life up. But it's also put everything into perspective. It's calmed down the chaos. So as much as I wish it hadn't happened… as much as I wish I was out in the real world and not stuck in hospital, as much as I wish I could walk and I wasn't in this pain… I'm grateful. I'm grateful that it's brought you back to me. I'm grateful that all the craziness I was living through has stopped at last. It was out of control. It needed to stop. I wish it had stopped in a different way. But it also could have stopped in a worse way. Ruby could be planning my funeral now. And like you told me, that would have been worse than this."
She gazed at Joey sadly.
"So yeah, I was planning to give up everything for Brax," she said. "And I mean everything. My job. My home. My morals. Myself. Maybe this was life telling me to stop. Maybe this was life bringing me back to you, the person I should always have been with in the first place. And maybe it had to be so drastic because I wouldn't listen to anything less."
"You always have been pretty stubborn," Joey offered with a gentle smile.
Charlie smiled back.
"So, it's up to you, Joey," the police officer said. "Do you actually want to give us a chance? I totally understand if you don't. If you can't trust me after what happened. And even more than that, if you don't want to take on a relationship with someone…"
She was cut off by Joey kissing her.
"You're all I've ever wanted, Charlie," Joey told her, kissing her again.
Charlie reached out, wrapping her arms around her and pulling her even closer. Joey half fell on the bed, making them both laugh. She rested one hand on the bed, holding herself up, letting her other hand stroke Charlie's hair, face, shoulder and arm. She couldn't stop kissing her or touching her. She felt Charlie running her hands up and down her back, making her tingle. They never wanted to let each other go.
Alex and Willow were both soaking wet when they arrived back at Willow's thankfully empty house, which was the closest to the beach.
"I cannot believe you persuaded me to do that!" Alex laughed, her hair and body still soaking.
She hadn't even been able to get her bra back on as it was too uncomfortable but Willow had offered to provide her with a warm shower and towels back at home.
"It was fun though, wasn't it?" Willow said wickedly.
Alex blushed at the memories of being in the sea with her. Naked. It had indeed been fun. Hidden under the water and the darkness, they had both been a little more daring and willing to explore. It had felt amazing to feel Willow's body underneath her hands, to kiss her and touch her. But now back on land, she felt like she was probably more in need of a cold shower than a hot one.
"It was definitely fun," she agreed.
Willow stepped closer and wrapped her arms around Alex's waist. She kissed her, both their lips still salty from the sea.
"We could um… skip the showers and uh… continue in my room if you like…?"
Alex didn't need any further invitation.
Next time… Willow has a coming out breakfast, Ruby admits to struggling in the wake of the shooting and Willow learns more about Alex's past…