A/N: Special Thanks to my awesome beta, PenguinofProse, and AvengerGirl17 for her aid when I originally wrote this chapter's flashback, way back at the beginning of this fic. And to everyone reading, following, favouriting and reviewing! I appreciate it.
I was going to say something about the current season and it's most recent episode, but I figured I'd start rambling about theories and possibilities and we all know Bellamy isn't dead but I'm a little surprised no one seems to have considered he's probably the masked guy that closed the Sanctum anomaly and accidentally pulled Gaia through...no one? Just me?
Here's a girls' night chapter, enjoy and I promise you all next chapter is full of Bellamy and Clarke.
Chapter Ten
Clarke wasn't usually self-conscious about her house. Fixing it up to become a home for her and Madi had been a labour of love, one that was admittedly a little ongoing in some rooms. But it was more than just a home now, it was their comfort and sanctuary. They were both supremely proud of it and the role it played in making them a family.
Yet now, with Echo coming over for the first time, Clarke was finding herself far more nervous than she had been expecting. Aside from Emori, everyone else had seen the place in various stages of the chaos that was home renovations, most of them had even helped at some point to make it what it was. But maybe because Emori had come equipped with Murphy...
She mentally chided herself, letting out a frustrated breath. She knew her nerves had everything to do with who Echo usually came paired with.
The cloth disappeared from her hand mid-wipe, and she raised her focus from the bench top to meet Octavia's eyes.
Octavia took her hand and replaced the cloth with a cocktail. "Settle down now, Clarke."
Clarke exhaled a breath she hadn't realised she had been holding. This house may be her sanctuary, but she had to just keep reminding herself that Echo was just the newest addition to the family. A welcome addition since it meant Bellamy was something that resembled present in her life again. And so she took a sip of the drink and tried to push aside the nervous energy that was currently eating at her insides. "What am I drinking?" she was pleasantly surprised by the warmth instantly spreading through her.
"Old Fashioned." Octavia grinned and clinked her own class to Clarke's. "It's primarily whiskey, so a sufficient buzz shouldn't be too far off."
"Do I seem to need a buzz?" Anxiety threatened to drop her at the prospect of being too obvious with her feelings.
Octavia's eyebrows went up in a curious sort of way, as if something had just occurred to her, and any other time Clarke would have made an effort to wonder what that something was. But right now she was stricken by a deep worry that she would expose something that she never should. "You've cleaned the bench so many times I'm surprised you haven't somehow stripped a layer off the wood." Octavia tapped a fingernail to the wooden bench top.
A knock at the door distracted them and Madi called out that Gaia, Luna and Niylah had arrived. All three came bearing snack foods; Gaia with an assortment of savoury snacks she assured Luna were all vegan, Luna with a vegan spiced pumpkin pie, and Niylah deposited her standard rice crispy treats with no further explanation.
They all moved to the living room to start getting settled in, Octavia pouring out more of her cocktail mixture, when Madi led in Emori and Echo - who seemed to be taking in the house with a slightly stunned expression - and Clarke's stomach jittered because she hadn't even heard the door. Octavia quickly introduced Echo to the other women.
"Clarke," Emori drew her attention. "I need your oven. I made nachos that need heating."
"Sure." Clarke took her through to the kitchen and was thankful Emori was Emori when she couldn't remember which setting was the correct option on her own oven and the other woman just grinned, winked and did it herself.
It was when they straightened and turned that Clarke noticed Echo had followed them, though she seemed preoccupied with taking in the room.
"Your house is wonderful, Clarke," Echo finally offered, catching her eye with a tentative smile. "Bellamy guessed comfortable and colourful, which seems like a frighteningly good prediction for someone who hadn't seen you in so many years."
Clarke's stomach leapt at the prospect of Bellamy still knowing her well enough for his guess about her decorating style to not be too far off, but then dropped because he seemed to be discussing her with his girlfriend and she had to wonder just how much he was telling her.
"How on Earth do you manage to maintain it?" Echo didn't seem to notice her already spiraling emotions.
"Not very well." Clarke forced out a laugh she hoped came across as self-derisive rather than strained. "I have to do it in stages and try to limit the mess to rooms I can shut the door on when people come round. My workshop and study are disaster zones."
"Well, it's beautiful," Echo smiled kindly, the comment seeming truly genuine, and Clarke hoped she managed to return the gesture like any normal, sane person would.
"Thank you." With that and another sip of the drink still in her hand, Clarke managed to let out some of her tension and nerves with a little exhale. Then she noticed Echo had come with what looked suspiciously like baked goods she recognised and remembered. Her mouth started watering and her eyes widened on the offering, an excited inhale giving away her delight. "Are those-"
"Maple syrup doughnuts with cinnamon glaze." Echo held them out, blinking in mild confusion.
Something deep inside Clarke melted. Not only had Bellamy remembered they were her favourite, but he had taken the time to make them. "How did he even have time to make these?" She couldn't help but take one to eat immediately. The fact that they tasted better than she remembered could have had everything to do with the fact that it had been six years since she had had one, and caused her to let out an embarrassing little moan and her eyes to briefly roll back with no care to how she would look.
The look Echo was giving her gave Clarke pause. An awkward silence ensued until Emori apparently couldn't take it anymore and reached for a doughnut, mumbling about how they couldn't be that good, surely. Her first bite in, Emori let out a noise that was halfway between surprise and ecstasy. "This might be the best thing I've ever tasted. Bellamy made these?"
Echo nodded, a little frown still furrowing between her eyebrows. That she was still looking at her with such an expression was causing Clarke to fight off the urge to squirm under her gaze.
"How do you have a boyfriend that makes things that taste like this and stay looking like that?" Emori huffed at Echo.
"Bellamy's never made these for me," Echo's voice seemed smaller than usual and Clarke shifted, uncomfortable in a different way now.
"But he probably bakes your favourites all the time, right?" Clarke hoped she sounded reassuring in a way that didn't come across as placating.
"He's never baked for me. I don't think I've seen him bake at all in the time I've known him," Echo admitted.
Now Clarke was frowning. She tried not to consider any possible underlying meanings, but she had to wonder what this development meant. Bellamy had never been big into baking, and she only knew of a handful of baked goods he would make from time to time for family events when he actually had the time for it. How was she supposed to feel about the possible link between her and Bellamy apparently no longer baking at all? What was she even supposed to say to his girlfriend that didn't come across as it having been something Bellamy had mainly done for her and Octavia when either of them had been in a bad mood?
"It used to be a mood activity," Clarke finally stated. "Maybe it has to do with the distance with Octavia? He used to bake for her all the time. He still cooks for you though, right?"
"Maybe. And yes, regularly. He's a very good cook," Echo nodded, but she glanced almost pointedly down at the doughnuts, one of Clarke's favourite desserts, clearly not completely buying the Octavia line.
"There you go then," Clarke chose to ignore the elephant in the other woman's glance. "Sounds like the Bellamy I remember. Let's get you both drinks."
They rejoined the others in the living room to find the first Shrek movie was cued up and ready to go and Madi was setting up the Monopoly board with them.
"What happened to Cluedo?" Clarke wondered, taking a seat next to her daughter.
"Too many people," Madi motioned around the room. "Everyone agreed on Monopoly instead. Octavia also looked up the rules of a Shrek drinking game for you adults and I think this will be a very interesting, to-the-death kind of game," the teen grinned cheekily.
Octavia was quick to explain the rules of said drinking game, opting to sip instead of do shots so no one got drunk too quickly, and they got on with the night.
During a small break between the first and second movies, Clarke, a nice warm buzz keeping her calm, glanced across the table to see Echo giving her a peculiar look again.
Seeing Clarke was looking to her, Echo straightened. "Can I ask about something?"
The feeling that just sunk into the pit of her stomach could have been dread, but Clarke agreed anyway.
"Can I ask about the cockroach and princess nicknames I heard the other day?" Echo wondered, referring to the evening of the double date that Clarke had inadvertently become involved in.
"Well, Murphy had a pretty shitty childhood. Not in any dramatic way, just in a down-on-your-luck sort of way," Clarke explained, trying not to go into great detail as it was Murphy's life and she had no idea how much anyone else in the room knew about it. "After his father went to prison, he was put in foster care and trouble had a tendency to find him, often because he was asking for it of course, he is John Murphy after all." Emori chuckled along with her. "But no matter what was thrown at him, no matter the method used to try to force him down, Murphy always just got right back up. It wasn't exactly life or death, but since cockroaches never seem to stay dead, it somehow became the most appropriate nickname. Murphy never stays down for long."
Emori nodded her agreement, accompanied it with a thumbs up to show her approval of the eventuality.
"And you being the princess?" Echo reminded her.
"It's what Bellamy dubbed her," Octavia supplied into the quiet pause that followed, her face deadpan.
Subtle. Clarke heaved a sigh. "It actually predates Bellamy," she admitted. Now was as good a time as any to divert the attention off Bellamy's previous nickname for her. Clarke had no desire to make Echo uncomfortable with hers and Bellamy's past, and hopefully renewable, friendship. "It's what my first serious boyfriend called me."
Octavia's head shot around. "Do I finally get to hear the full Finn story?" The prospect seemed to excite her.
The memories that came along with thinking of Finn could have crippled Clarke, if she'd let them. There was so much more to 'the Finn story' than any of her family knew. But that wasn't a demon she would be talking about at a girls' night that had been tracking along very well so far. "What's there to tell?" she went with instead. "Finn moved to our school Junior year. He won me over, and became my first love. Then his girlfriend moved across town to be with him."
"Well...that explains why Murphy and Raven always found it amusing when Bellamy started calling you princess," Octavia decided. "To this day, knowing how Raven can hold a grudge, I'm surprised she became friends with you."
"And to this day I wish I had a clue that Finn already had a girlfriend. Trying to convince a hurt and angry Raven that I truly had no idea I had been sleeping with her boyfriend was a trial and a half," Clarke sighed heavily at the memory.
"Am I hearing this right?" Emori looked as if she was fighting off laughter. "It seems as if you're implying you became friends with Raven despite having once stolen her boyfriend?"
Clarke pouted, she couldn't help it, she was tilted closer to the tipsy side of the line between drunk and sober. "Unintentionally, but yes. Somehow she decided to be friends with me...eventually."
"So Murphy calling you princess has to do with this Finn guy?" Echo clarified. "Bellamy doing it is the same reason?"
Clarke paused and an awkward silence briefly held the room. "You'd have to ask Bellamy, actually. I'm not sure why he called me that, I've never asked. He doesn't do it anymore, I'm sure you've noticed." Clarke turned her attention back down to the board game.
"Let's get on with this then." Emori picked up the dice and held them out to the group. "Whose turn was it?"
And so the night continued on, Clarke trying to carefully avoid meeting Echo's eye again.
Part way into the movie, the subject somehow turned to Niylah and the tattoo she was going to the Mad Tatter to receive in the coming week. Gaia told them an amusing story about a client at her hair salon and the disastrous tattoo they had received from a parlour over in Trikru, but the lady in question had seemed to be under the impression it was the most wonderful work of art inked to human skin.
"Echo," Madi spoke up when they were done laughing. "Everyone here has been going to the Mad Tatter for tattoos for years. Do you have any tattoos?"
"Madi," Clarke chided, frowning at her daughter. "Didn't I tell you tattoos are personal and not everyone wants to talk about them?"
"It's okay Clarke," Echo was quick to reassure, smiling kindly at Madi. "I do have one." She rolled up her sleeve to reveal the very simple black arrow on her inner biceps.
"Arrows are a symbol of strength, power and direction," Clarke murmured without really deciding to speak. "How appropriate."
Echo smiled lopsidedly at her. "I didn't know about the meaning behind it when I got it, just that I had always been drawn to arrows."
Clarke couldn't help but smile with her.
"I've actually been thinking of getting another one for years now," Echo continued. "But I couldn't settle on what seemed most appropriate. Perhaps you could help me with that?"
She didn't really mean to blink in surprise, but tattoos were such a personal thing, Clarke was a little startled that Echo would be asking her. "Sure. Lincoln or I would be happy to help." She wasn't sure, but she thought a frown of confusion crossed Echo's face, so quickly it was hard to say for sure. "Depending on what you're after, we both have our specialties."
A look of understanding was definitely settling on Echo's face now. "I wanted something to remember my parents, but I was pretty young when they died so I don't have a concrete idea of what I could get. I thought of flowers, at one stage, but poppies seem to be the common remembrance flower and they weren't in the army."
"Poppies aren't just about remembering fallen soldiers. But if you want to go flowers, there are other options. Rosemary or gladiolus spring to mind." Clarke was trying to sound both moderately interested, and detached at the same time, and wasn't really sure she was pulling off either. "Depends if you want colours or not as well."
Echo had pulled her phone out to search gladiolus flowers, the expression on her face showed she was definitely interested now, and not just humouring Clarke. "Do you think you could draw something up for me? I don't mind if it's colour." Clarke was nodding her head in agreement when Echo continued. "Maybe you can convince Bellamy to finish his other tattoo while you're at it?"
"He has an unfinished tattoo?" Octavia frowned and shared a confused glance with Clarke.
"The one I designed him was finished," Clarke shrugged at Octavia's questioning gaze.
"I'll let him tell you about it then, shall I?" Echo wondered. "It's been unfinished since before he met me. I don't know the full story behind it, just that he was in a bad place when he first started getting it and then at the time changed his mind about the direction it was going in. He has commented from time to time he should get it finished. If you designed his other one, I'm sure you could fix whatever he didn't like in the original design."
Clarke tapped Octavia's arm. "You should ask him about it."
"Why me?"
"He's your brother." Clarke pulled a face at her.
"Chances are he's still more likely to listen to you." Octavia pulled a face right back, complete with her tongue peaking out.
"I saw that!" Emori abruptly pointed accusingly between Madi and Octavia, drawing everybody's attention. "There was a hand off! You two are cheating! I thought it was weird I keep having to pay the three of you."
Madi pouted and broke out her best puppy dog eyes. "Cheating? You're accusing a young girl of cheating?"
"Young girl my ass," Emori huffed and narrowed her eyes on them. "You know exactly how to get everyone to feel guilty if they try to say no to you. Your mother is the only one who doesn't let you get away with it. This is some kind of team-up, right? Is that why the three of you always seem to win everything?"
Emori's eyes turned to Octavia who just shrugged and grinned widely, following up with a simple statement. "The Blake-Griffins must remain undefeated."
"Right on Aunty O!" Madi fist-bumped Octavia and shot the room a grin that could only be described as impish.
Calling Octavia 'Aunty' wasn't a regular occurrence but O melted every time Madi broke it out, this time was no exception. In that second, the moniker made Clarke extremely self-conscious and she had to force herself not to glance at Echo to see her reaction.
"Clarke, what are you teaching your daughter?" Emori tried a different tact, pouting at her.
"That her family are extremely competitive when it comes to games and teaming up fosters better relationships?" Clarke chose to try for an innocent smile. "Surely you've noticed by now that we three don't like to lose."
Somehow the rest of the night followed on without a hitch. Clarke tried to subtly keep the topic of conversation off her and Bellamy and any past or present relationship/issues. She had to sit through one, thankfully brief, almost conversation about significant others. Shrek 2 came to an end and the group collectively agreed to end the Monopoly game, all of them being very much not sober anymore meant leaving cleanup for the morning.
For the first time in the existence of their girls' nights, sleeping arrangements became an issue. The girls always just crashed in either of Clarke's two spare rooms, but tonight there was one more person than bed space.
"Gaia can share with me," Madi offered up, surprising Clarke more than anyone.
"Are you sure you'll be okay with someone else in bed with you?" Clarke quietly checked with her daughter, Madi's well-being would always be her priority.
"Won't know until we try," Madi smiled brightly, no sign of any anxiety visible. "Besides, I share with you all the time. Gaia's basically an aunty, right? She's more of a sister than a cousin to Lincoln."
"Only if you're sure, my lovely," Clarke couldn't help the sappy feeling that overtook her. She pulled her daughter into her side for a quick peck on her temple. Madi fluffed around as if she was embarrassed, but the beam to her grin told otherwise, as did the way she wrapped her arms around Clarke's waist for a quick, tight hug before they parted.
When the house finally settled into that quiet calm that came right after everybody was tucked into bed, Clarke let out a quiet sigh and finally completely relaxed. She hadn't said or done anything she would regret. She'd count that as surviving the night.
Octavia rolled onto her side to face Clarke in the darkness. "I need to ask you something, and I hope you'll answer honestly," Octavia spoke, voice serious and a little hesitant. "I can promise I won't repeat anything."
"I know you wouldn't." Clarke frowned into the darkness, wondering what could cause Octavia to take such a tone.
"How long have you been in love with my brother?"
Clarke gasped so sharply her breath caught in her throat and she had to sit up or forget how to breathe. "What?"
Octavia sat up beside her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "It's alright Clarke. I've always suspected. But now I'm pretty sure, and I just want to know definitively so I know how to help you from now on."
"What do you mean 'help me'?"
"Well if you are, it can't be easy to see Bellamy and Echo together. I just mean if I need to keep an eye about running interference in certain situations, that kind of help," Octavia shrugged. "You seem to get a little weird and twitchy when the pair of them are right there together in front of you, but you aren't like that if you're just speaking to one or the other of them."
This was bad. Clarke dropped her head into her hands. Even Octavia could tell?! How on Earth had she expected to pull this off? What if Bellamy noticed?
"My brother hasn't noticed," Octavia offered up, clearly suddenly able to read her thoughts. "If that's what you're worrying about. I'm not sure anyone else has either. I probably wouldn't have except for the fact that I was trying to keep an eye on the situation. I didn't want my brother setting you back when you've been so good lately."
"My issues aren't Bellamy's fault," Clarke was quick to jump to his defense.
"I know that." Octavia chuckled a little dryly. "But Clarke, the two of you, romantic or not, you've always meant a lot to each other, even when you were apart. I just want to look out for the both of you so there's no relapses or anything. You have no idea how long I've been waiting for the two of you to make up. For both your sakes. Our family these days is amazing, I wouldn't trade out a single person, not even Murphy, though we both know there are times it's tempting. But you and I both know we've missed having my brother be a part of it all."
Clarke sighed heavily and nodded. Octavia had probably never spoken a deeper truth.
"So I return to my original question. How long have you been in love with my brother?"
What a simple question. The answer was far too complicated, so Clarke had to go for the easiest option. "I really don't know," she confessed with another sigh, this one half resignation, and half relief to finally admit it aloud. "It was already too late by the time I realised. Now we're different people with a huge gap and six years of missed experiences."
Octavia's other arm came up and she pressed into Clarke for a tight hug. "It'll all be okay Clarke. We'll figure it out. And no matter what, you'll always have me."
"You're the best when you want to be, you know that, right?" Clarke couldn't help but let out a small laugh.
"Of course." Clarke knew the self-assured grin Octavia would be wearing, despite not being able to see through the darkness. "Besides, you've been the best for me whenever I've needed it. If that's not sisterly then I don't know what is."
"We're sisters now?" Clarke teased.
"You bet. You're stuck with me. Being stuck with each other seems like the best way to sum up our crazy family anyway."
Clarke exhaled with a small smile. Always there for each other, crazy and stuck with each other. That was their family alright.
"Let's sleep on it, yeah?" Octavia half wrestled her back down. "We'll figure it out when we're sober and alone."
Octavia was asleep moments after Clarke's murmured agreement, her even breathing verging on soft snores, and it started to lull Clarke until her eyes began to grow heavy.
Some part of her, deep down, now admitted that even after so many years she had always been a little scared Octavia had only been sticking by her for Bellamy's sake. Here and now, it was as though some of the invisible weight Clarke had always carried on her shoulders was lifted. She drifted into sleep with family sitting in her heart.
Clarke took a deep breath of warm air. The Spanish sun was welcome compared to the more unpredictable weather she was expecting to experience in Germany where she'd be stationed for the next eight months. She hadn't told Bellamy yet, and this was her way of surprising him. She had been sitting on this particular surprise for a few months now, and though she had only physically seen Bellamy twice since New Year's, it hadn't been an easy feat to keep it from him. Almost every one of their numerous phone/video calls involved him asking whether or not she had heard anything about the assignment that would put her on the same continent as he was. His excitement to have her nearby was, for lack of a better word, truly endearing. She just hoped he wouldn't be too sour about their entire family, Miller included, helping her keep this secret.
In fact, Miller had been all too eager to help, constantly bringing up how Bellamy had been a bear to live with lately and how he hoped a visit from her would soften him up a bit.
She took in the long row of tall town houses, their bright shutters and doors. This place made her want to do nothing but paint for days on end, but she was supposed to start her rotation at the base hospital in a week so she didn't have that kind of time.
Clarke hitched her duffle more securely on her shoulder, the strap pulling uncomfortably, and tried to remember the house number Miller had given her. She pulled out her phone to reread the text, chuckling when it started to buzz - Bellamy's name popping up on the screen.
"Where have you been?!" Bellamy demanded when she answered, worry evident in his voice. "I've been trying to get in touch with you for sixteen hours!"
Clarke couldn't help but chuckle. "I'm sorry Bellamy, I warned you I'd probably be out of reach for a while."
"Yeah but you could have let me know you hadn't died or something," his voice held resignation. "And no one would tell me where you were!"
"It's sweet that you worry so much," she teased, heaving a sigh when she finally spotted their door. "You really should try to dial it down a little though. It can't be good for your health."
"Don't make fun, Princess." She could almost hear the pout in his voice and it made her smile. "Are you home yet?"
"Just about," Clarke replied, grinning widely as she rang the doorbell. She could hear footsteps, and then the door opened wide to reveal a smiling Miller. "Hey Bell, I need to go but I'll speak to you in a second." She heard him grumble something under his breath before shoving her phone in her pocket just in time for Miller to give her a warm hug.
"Thank goodness you're here," he rolled his eyes, a teasing smile playing at his lips. "Maybe you can do something with him."
"Been a little grumpy I take it," Clarke snickered, knowing how Bellamy could be at times.
"The worst," Miller said throwing up his hands in defeat.
"You just gotta talk him down, Nate. You should know this by now," she gave him a wink.
Miller sighed. "I think he worries more about you than he does about Octavia. All I hear is, 'Clarke better do this,' and 'Clarke needs to do that,' and 'why doesn't she just let me know she's okay once in a while!'"
Clarke fondly shook her head. "He's going to worry himself into an early grave."
A loud bang - that sounded suspiciously like something being thrown across a room - made them both jump.
"I'd better get up there," Clarke chuckled.
"A few quick notes. As you can see main floor is common room and kitchen. I'm on the second floor, and Bellamy is up on the third."
"Thanks again Miller," she hugged him one last time before making her way up the narrow staircase. She found his door and entered without knocking, dropping her bag just inside the room.
"Miller! How many times…" Bellamy stopped mid sentence and just stared at her, his jaw slightly ajar. Time seemed to stand still for just a moment.
"Surprise," Clarke smiled, arms outstretched.
He didn't say a word. Just lunged for her, wrapping his arms tightly around her and burying his face in her neck. They stood that way for several seconds, her enjoying the solid warmth of his arms and him just seeming content to hold her close.
"You're here," he said in amazement, squeezing her a little tighter. "What are you doing here? Never mind it doesn't matter…" He gathered her even closer, if that was even possible, his smile tickling her skin.
Clarke smiled into the material covering his shoulder, hugging him back. It felt so good to see him again. She never realised how much she missed him until moments like this. "I have a week and then I need to be in Germany," she told him as they pulled apart. "Miller already made sure you'd have time to spend with me."
"You got the assignment, you're actually here!" Bellamy whooped, grinning from ear to ear. Clarke wasn't sure anyone had ever looked so happy to see her and it was making her heart melt and her insides flutter.
"Yep, we're going to be on the same continent for the next eight months. I'll have weekends off and can come and visit when I have time off and I might even be able to catch some of your games!"
His expression was one of pure delight, and it was worth everything.
"That settles it then," he pulled back suddenly, bringing out his phone. "I'm changing my flight home for summer vacation. I'm coming to Berlin. We can explore the city when you're not on shift and take weekend trips to different cities."
"What about Octavia?" He was supposed to be going home in two weeks for the whole of July, and that he was willing to give up that time with his sister was actually kind of shocking to her.
"I'll pay for her to come here instead," he decided, seeming suddenly stubbornly set on the idea. "She can keep me company when you're at work and join us for the rest of it. I'm positive she won't want to miss out on any Blake-Griffin adventures." He was already calling Octavia, one arm securing itself around Clarke.
This, Clarke suddenly realised, her insides melting and something that was most likely the softest expression she had ever worn taking hold of her face, this was true family.
End Note: Hope you all enjoyed that and the little developments ;P Thanks for reading x