In the meantime, in the room where she and Kane were led to wait for Lexa, Abby's pacing nervously.
What's taking her so long? She was supposed to meet us twenty minutes ago." Abby lets out an impatient sigh as she checks her watch for the hundredth time. The woman started complaining and pacing the room after the first five minutes of wait, so by now Kane has long given up trying to calm her down.
"She'll be here soon." That's the best he can say. And to be honest, he's not even sure whether it's Abby he wants to convince or himself. Thankfully, though, as soon as he utters the words, the door cracks open behind them.
"See? What did I tell you?" He mocks Abby as they both sigh in relief and turn to the door, expecting to see Lexa coming in. To their surprise, it not the commander to enter the room, but Clarke.
"Clarke?" Abby whispers, not believing her daughter is actually standing in front of her after three months spent apart. The initial shock lives her unable to move for a few seconds, but finally she launches forward, throwing herself at Clarke. Abby wraps her daughter in a tight hug, unable to tame her emotions as she starts crying in the crook of her neck.
"I've missed you." She manages to let out as she hugs Clarke even tighter.
"Me too." Clarke doesn't really know what else to say to her, so she just returns the hug, reveling in her mom's presence after so long. They all keep quiet for a while, until Clarke can no longer breathe due to how tight her mom's hug has gotten.
"Mom?"
"Mmh?" Abby hums in response.
"I can't breathe." Clarke breaths out in Abby's shoulder.
"Omg. Sorry. I'm sorry" Abby quickly let's go of her daughter. She's worried she's crossed a line and that such a hug was too much, but the Clarke's amused smile let's her know it's okay. Both women chuckle, feeling a little bit embarrassed by the whole situation.
As much as it pains him to put an end to that sweet reunion, Kane knows there's some important business they need to discuss with Lexa, and it can't wait anymore.
"We were supposed to meet with Lexa to-" He interjects from behind Abby but he's soon interrupted by Clarke.
"Yeah, about that... The summit was kind of an excuse to have you coming to Polis." She says in a tentative tone, worried of what their reaction might be. It's crazy, she's Wanheda, nothing should scare her. Nothing but telling her mother and Marcus that Lexa tricked them. Again.
She looks at them for a few seconds, hoping for one of them to say something. When it's clear to her that they're both too confused to utter any words, she clears her throat looking for the right words to explain herself. The thing is, she knows exactly what needs to be said, but how can she tell her people that they're asked to bow to the same girl who had left them to die at Mount Weather only three months ago.
"Lexa..." No, not Lexa, that's too unformal. She doesn't want them to suspect about the nature of her relationship with Lexa. Not yet, at least. So she starts over. "The Commander... She's changing the terms of the treaty."
"Is this because of Mount Weather?" Marcus asks as he still can't believe what's happening.
"This is because of the Ice Nation. They want Lexa dead." The only idea sends shivers down Clarke's spine. She'll do whatever it takes for her people to understand. There's no way she's letting the Ice Queen kill the woman she loves. They've just found each other again, and she's not losing her one more time.
Clarke looks at Marcus, knowing he's the one who can really understand what's at stake. "They wanna take over the coalition."
"That's Lexa's concern not ours." Abby interjects angrily. Just like Clarke thought, her mother doesn't get it.
"No Abby, if Lexa falls, the coalition shatters. And there's no way we can afford that war." But thankfully Kane does.
"You said there were new terms?" He asks Clarke, not giving the other woman time to say more.
It's now or never, Clarke thinks as she takes a deep breath. Avoiding her mother's gaze, she speaks again. "Yeah. We become the 13th clan."
"13th clan... What does that mean? That we follow Lexa?" Something in the way her mom says Lexa's name, with so much hatred and disgust, makes Clarke want to yell at her that she has no idea how great and selfless a person Lexa truly is. But she knows it's not worth it, Abby wouldn't understand. She never does. So instead, she just ops for a simple "yes".
"This is not the treaty we came here to negotiate." Abby attacks again.
"This is our Unity Day, mom. We can be the 13th station or we can be the 13th clan." Clarke hopes this will make it because she's run out of reasons to convince them.
"Marcus?"
Of course, Abby wants to know his opinion. She sent Clarke down to Earth to die, trusting her instincts would tell her how to protect her people. Yet, ever since the Ark landed on the ground, her mother's never believed in her leadership choices. Not once. She's not a kid anymore, and neither is Lexa. She's the best Commander the grounders, and so Sky People, could ever wish for. Clarke understands why her mother doesn't trust Lexa, of course she has a good reason, but why can't she at least trust her daughter for once?
"Clarke's right. I've seen the Ice Nation army and we don't stand a chance against them. We need to do this." Once again, Kane's words are the only thing keeping her from screaming at her mother.
"So, we become the 13th clan... Then what? What's gonna stop the Ice Nation?" Well, at least, that's progress. Abby's no longer fighting the idea.
"We are. Lexa and I..." The look Abby gives her as soon as those words are out let's Clarke know she's made a mistake.
"You and Lexa?! What, you two are a team now?"
"Mom..."
"No. Clarke, she betrayed us and left us to die! How can you work with her?! How can you even trust her?! She's the reason you left Arkadia and hid in the woods, because you couldn't live with what you had to do!"
Hell! If it's her screaming that Abby wants, then that's exactly what she'll get.
"I left because I couldn't live with what I did! I didn't have to do anything! Lexa never forced me to pull that switch, it was my choice and I paid the price for it! Yes, she saved her people and left us behind, but that's what it means to be a leader, mom!" She takes a deep breath to gather herself a little as she moves towards Abby.
"Tell me, had you been in the same position, wouldn't you have saved your people even if it meant leaving the grounders behind? Wouldn't you have sacrificed their lives for the ones of your people trapped inside or fighting outside?" By now, Clarke's standing right in front of her mother. Her blue orbs are fixed on Abby, daring her to say otherwise.
"I... Maybe I would've, yes! But it still isn't a good reason to go and trust her again, Clarke! What makes you so sure she won't betray us again?!"
"If you can't trust her then trust me. Lexa's not going to betray me again." Clarke curses herself for saying those words the moment she sees her mother's questioning look.
"You? She's not going to betray you?"
"Us. I meant us." Clarke says in a not very convincing tone as she steps back a little, in the hope that some more distance might make it harder for her mother to read right through her.
"But that's not what you said. You said me." To say Clarke is panicking by now is an understatement.
"You're making this a bigger of a deal than it actually is..."
"And you're trying to avoid the answer. What do you mean she's not going to betray you again, Clarke?" Abby is giving her the same look Clarke gave her mother a few moments ago.
It's ridiculous to try and convince her she's just misspoken, Clarke knows it. And what's the point anyway? Sooner or later, she's going to have to tell Abby the truth. She can't live on excuses forever. So, better now than later. Right?
"I mean... She's not going to leave me again." Deep breath. She looks at her mom, then at Kane, and she continues. "She won't betray me, us… because that would mean losing me again." Her mother clearly isn't following, but she cannot say more. It's pointless. She wouldn't understand. She knows she wouldn't.
Seeing as her daughter isn't showing any intention of offering further explanations, Abby tries to push her to say more. "Clarke. What are you saying? Why can't Lexa lose you again?"
"I..." Clarke shakes her head sadly. She wouldn't get it.
"Clarke, honey, I'm your mother. You know that you can talk to me." Abby says putting a reassuring hand on the girl's shoulder, but Clarke only shakes her head again looking away.
"You wouldn't understand..."
"Try me. You'll never know if you don't try." She gives her daughter an encouraging smile, as she brings her hand up to her cheek to get her to look at her again.
With a deep breath, Clarke gives up her fight. "She can't lose me because..." She closes her eyes not bearing to see her mother's expression as she confesses her feelings for the woman she's supposed to hate. "…she loves me. And… I trust her because I feel the same way about her." Abby's hand leaves her cheek, and Clarke opens her eyes to look at her mom. "I love her, mom. I'm in love with her, and she's in love with me." She says it one more time to make sure her mother gets it. "We're in love."
Abby stares at her daughter in silence for what feels like an eternity, her expression showing no kind of emotion. Clarke feels like she might get sick if her mother doesn't say something soon. When the silence becomes too much to bear, and it feels to Clarke like it's getting deafening, she decides to speak again hoping for a reaction of some kind from her mother.
"I don't expect you to understand. I… I don't get it either. I know I'm supposed to hate her, and this shouldn't have happened, but it was beyond my control." For her next words, she really needs her mother to listen to her carefully. So, she waits for Abby to be looking straight at her before she continues. "I didn't choose to love her. But I do choose to stay. Please, don't make me choose between my people and the woman I love."
"Because you would choose her?" Abby seems to have found her voice again, but it doesn't make Clarke feel any better. Her mother's words are so harsh, they feel like daggers to her heart. And, once again, they prove how little credit her mom gives her as a leader.
"No. Because I would choose you. As leader of my people I have to put you first. I have to sacrifice my heart, even if it will kill me." Now Clarke is all but begging on the verge of tears. "Mom, please. I'm begging you. Don't make me choose between you and Lexa. Please. I can't lose yet another person I love."
Abby looks reluctant for a moment, but then she finally gives up. With a small nod, she lets Clarke know she agrees to the deal. "Okay. We'll follow Lexa as the 13th clan. But don't expect me to be ok with this."
That's more than Clarke was hoping for. "Thank you." Now she can finally sigh in relief. She did it. They'll join Lexa's coalition and she won't have to lose anybody. For now, at least.