ABNEGATION HELLIONS

CHAPTER TWO

Tobias POV

I meet Beatrice at the side of my house, under my bedroom window. I narrowly escaped a beating from Marcus; I was looking at the things I have collected into the trunk my mother gave me, and barely got them put away as I heard my father coming up the stairs. I was tired and had to fight sleep as I looked at my few scavenged possessions, but I'm sure glad I managed to stay awake. Had I fallen asleep, I'm sure I'd be in a lot of pain right now; I barely managed to hide my things and remove the desk chair I had wedged under the door handle. I couldn't allow myself to nod off knowing that this is my last night with my girl.

Beatrice comes around the corner and when she sees me, her face relaxes in relief. It would have been awful to have to spend our last night together with her patching up my back. But we're both here now, unharmed.

I pull her around the corner, behind the house, so that a large bush obscures us from any prying eyes. She presses herself against me, her body molding against mine, and I capture her lips in a scorching hot kiss. We break apart both short of breath.

"Ezekiel and Caleb?" I ask.

"Already asleep," she whispers. "And Uri knows we need some time alone. He won't bother us. I'm sure that if I'm wrong about Zee or Cale, he'll make sure they don't, either." Beatrice sometimes uses nicknames for all three of her brothers- very un-Abnegation of her- but the only person I use a nickname for, and not often, is Beatrice. Uriah called her Tris when they were very little, and now I do, sometimes, too.

I pat my pocket to make sure I remembered protection before I grab her hand and we begin in the direction of the train platform. The first few times we had sex were in the heat of the moment, but when it really hit me what a dangerous game that was, I listened carefully in the bathrooms at school and learned what I needed to get so that Beatrice and I could be safe in our special times together. In Abnegation, they don't teach us anything about preventing pregnancy... or much of anything about sex in general, other than that it is only for married couples, and only for the purpose of procreation. Now that I've experienced it, though, I seriously doubt that everyone in Abnegation is really selfless enough to only make love to create babies. I think it's just... something they tell us, not something anyone really follows.

It wasn't easy swallowing my embarrassment, but I went into the clinic near the Upper Levels School and obtained a bag full of condoms, ignoring the incredulous look from the nurse I whispered my request to. I suspect that may very well have been the first Abnegation she ever had ask for protection- or at least, the first Abnegation dependent. Regardless, I felt a little more Dauntless by the time I left, and certainly felt much less apprehensive about my indiscretions with Beatrice. I'm not sure if I could ever forgive myself if I left her pregnant and alone here. Sure, she'd have Uriah, but the way she'd be treated as a pregnant, unmarried teenager here in Abnegation is... I can't even imagine it. I'm also quite sure that she would be in danger if Marcus ever knew that she and I were involved.

We kiss leisurely as we wait for the train. When it arrives, we run alongside it as we've watched the Dauntless do so many times, and as we have now done many times as well, then I grab the handle and throw myself in first, Beatrice following.

It was Uriah that first wanted to jump the trains, and he and Beatrice had been doing so for months before they told the rest of us and invited us along. Uriah, especially, has always felt a strong pull to Dauntless. It makes sense- he was born there. Beatrice's mother, Natalie Wright Prior, was born in Dauntless, but transferred to Abnegation at her Choosing Ceremony when she was sixteen. Despite their separation, when Natalie's cousin and best friend, Hana Wright Pedrad, had her first child- Ezekiel- she named Natalie and Andrew Prior as his godparents. Hana and Mike Pedrad's second child, Uriah, was only a month old when Hana and Mike, both gate guards, were killed in the line of duty; the story goes that a band of Factionless attacked the fence and Mike died trying to protect his wife, but ultimately failed to save her.

Ezekiel and Uriah were immediately placed into the custody of Hana's best childhood friend and cousin, and Natalie and Andrew Prior legally adopted the boys and raised them as their own. Ezekiel was a year and a half old and Uriah just six weeks. I can only imagine what chaos that was, as the Priors had their own two children already- Caleb, who had just turned a year, and Beatrice, only three weeks old at the time.

Uriah and Beatrice have grown up as twins, and everyone in Abnegation considers them so, though they look nothing alike. Beatrice is short and slight, her skin creamy white. Her grayish-blue eyes are large and round, and her Abnegation bun is a honey blond. Uriah, on the other hand, is sturdy and tall- taller than Zeke already, and almost as tall as me- with bronze skin, chocolate brown eyes, and dark hair that, just before it's time to cut it Abnegation short again, begins to curl at the ends. Still, they've grown up as twins and are close as can be.

Once we are both in the train car, I lead Beatrice to a far corner and sit down, pulling her with me. She straddles my lap and we wrap our arms around one another, and for a long moment, we just hold each other. I hear Beatrice suck in a shaky breath and I try to pull back, but she just holds on tighter, keeping her head on my shoulder. "I can't believe this is it," she says in a strangled voice. She is so strong all the time... I am surprised that she is letting it show how much this is affecting her. Or maybe it's simply affecting her a lot more than I thought it would.

"It isn't goodbye forever, Tris." I try to sound soothing, but my voice betrays me and cracks on her name. "It's... it's just a year. We can make it a year. Then we can start our life together."

"I don't know how I'll-" she swallows hard. "A year sounds so long, Tobias. I'm really going to miss you. I love you so much. You're my best friend."

My heart physically hurts as she sniffles into my shoulder and I really finally allow myself to realize just how long a year will be. I have worked so hard to tell myself it's short, it's "only" a year, it will go by in a flash.

But it won't. She's right, it won't. Just the thought of going all that time without seeing her beautiful face, feeling her body pressed against mine, holding her in my arms, kissing her soft pink lips... and I feel like I am drowning. She is the only person I have ever trusted with my secrets. She found out about Marcus, she has dressed my wounds countless times, and not once has she given me that pitying look, like I'm a kicked puppy. "I can stay. We can stay here if you want to, Beatrice," I offer, giving in to the panic.

"No!" she yelps. "No, you can't stay. You know you can't. And I don't want to stay here either. We... will just have to get through it. No matter how hard it is, no matter what happens... at the end of a year, we'll be together again." Beatrice pulls away from me and looks me in the eye. The moonlight shines off the tears on her cheeks, and I brush them away with my thumbs. "I'd never forgive myself if you stayed here, with that monster, because of me. We have to think of our futures, Tobias."

"I love you, Beatrice," I whisper before I crash my lips against hers. It is just Beatrice and me in here, just us in the world for a while as we say our goodbyes. Tomorrow I will have to be strong and leave Beatrice Prior behind.

Tris POV

At the Hub the next morning, while all the other factions herd toward the elevators, the Abnegation take the stairs. It would be selfish to take the elevator when there are so many waiting to use it. That's Abnegation for you- the selfless faction. There is, however, a certain beauty in it, and for a moment, I think I could see myself staying here, raising my baby in gray alongside Tobias. That image combined with the constant fear and anxiety I have been living with for weeks has me instantly looking for the man I love, wanting to run to him and tell him to stay, we can make it work here, we'll figure something out to keep us safe from Marcus...

But before I can get to the top of the twentieth flight of stairs and search for Tobias, my legs get tired, and I become bored of the monotony that is as present in every other Abnegation custom just as it is in this one, and I realize that being safe from Marcus while still in Abnegation is a pipe dream, and I could never be happy here anyway.

So I brace myself for a year without Tobias or Ezekiel, and to say goodbye to Caleb, maybe forever.

As I turn in the hallway of the twentieth floor, to speak with my brothers before they find their place in line, Tobias comes toward me alongside Marcus and catches my eye. Uriah and I face him, but Mom, Dad, Ezekiel and Caleb aren't looking his way. I love you, I see him mouth. I can't respond without attracting unwanted attention, so I give him a small smile and try to convey my feelings for him with the look in my eyes.

And I just pray that Tobias will wait for me, even when he sees all those taller, prettier, curvier, better Dauntless girls. It is a selfish thought; I know he deserves better than what I can give him. But if I come to Dauntless in a year only to find that my child's father has moved on... I don't know what I will do.

I must have faith in our love.

"Well... this is it," Uriah says beside me, snapping me back to attention.

I will have plenty of time later to think about Tobias and what I am facing this next year. These are our last moments as a complete, intact family. My attention needs to be on Caleb and Ezekiel.

"Mom, Dad," Ezekiel says, his eyes glassy. "Thank you for everything you have done for Uriah and me. I love you both. And Caleb, Uriah, Beatrice... I couldn't ask for better siblings. I'll miss you all." It has never been any secret that Ezekiel and Uriah will return home to Dauntless when they choose.

My eyes meet Caleb's and we communicate everything that needs to be said wordlessly as Mom and Dad speak to Ezekiel. Mom reaches out and touches his cheek, and Dad pats his shoulder. It is a lot of contact for an Abnegation family.

As they each talk to Caleb as well, I think about how their affection might be negatively perceived by our neighbors and it suddenly hits me. I don't care what anyone else thinks. They are all going to be gossiping about me soon, anyway. So, as soon as Dad finishes speaking with Caleb, I rush forward and first tightly hug Ezekiel. "I love you, Zee," I say, my voice thick with emotion. "We'll join you next year. I'll miss you so much."

"Me too, Tris," he chokes. "Come see me on Visiting Day. Please?"

"I wouldn't miss it," I whisper. Then I release him and repeat the same with Caleb.

I stand back with Uriah as we watch Ezekiel and Caleb file into the choosing room, Mom and Dad following them. Uriah slips his hand into mine and squeezes. "It'll be okay, Tris. We will get through this. You'll see. And remember, you've always got me, sis." He grins and bumps my hip with his.

"I hope you're right," I whisper.