A.N.: This chapter was kindly betaed by my friend multilingualism.
Chapter 10: The enemy in your head
Severus Snape was looking forward to a peaceful afternoon without grading or peeking into the heads of adolescent students that didn't think about much else than whom to pull into one of the various broom closets next. It was a tiring task that left him moody and with a sick feeling in his stomach more often than not, but in the momentary situation, Legilimency was the only tool at his disposal that he could use to find the student who was the Open Link. It was a tedious task as it could be almost any one of them and Severus wasn't one who had followed the school's gossip as some of his other colleagues. And in his recent situation that really came as a big disadvantage. He wasn't privy to his student's little dirty secrets and the details of their love life because honestly, who wanted to know these things as an adult? There had been enough teenage drama and heartbreak in his youth to last him a lifetime, so why in the name of Salazar should he seek out anybody else's on top of that? It was tasteless and he wouldn't have loved anything more than to tell the Dark Lord to do the job himself just once, but he guessed that he would have liked his master's answer even less. And so Severus soldiered on.
But not today, no. Today his schedule was blissfully empty and he could finally use some of his time to go over the newest issues of "Potions and Poisons" that was sitting on his desk for weeks without him having time to read it. Today as his time for leisure and that usually meant reading – a lot.
But Severus should have known that it wasn't meant to be. The day had been going too well, so far, and so he wasn't even a little bit surprised when his fireplace roared to life and the flames inside turned green a moment later.
"Severus? Are you in?" called the Headmaster's voice through the flames. He groaned and flung the still untouched article back on the coffee table, that held his untouched cup of tea that the enthusiastic house-elves had just provided for him.
"No Albus," he called through the room and buried his face in his hands. "Whatever it is, do me the favour and go to somebody else, just once." He really wasn't in the mood to endure the old fool's chatter or his endless theories concerning the Open Link today, because when there was anybody who loved gossip more than Sybil Trelawney, then it was Albus fucking Dumbledore. But Severus really couldn't take any more of it. Not today.
"I'm afraid that won't be possible, my boy," his voice answered without the air of amusement. "We do have kind of an emergency concerning young Mister Potter. I must ask you to come to my office at once."
"Oh, for fuck's sake," the tired Potions Master grumbled and leapt from the brown leather sofa, he called his own. What had the stupid moron done now? Did he and his little friends brew another batch of cat-hair infused Polyjuice? He swore he would let them stew on the Infirmary for a few weeks before he would find the time to brew the right antidote this time. The boy finally had to learn to keep himself out of trouble and not run towards it every time, when he scented some excitement. Otherwise, it wouldn't be long until he got them all killed. And Severus had enough shit on his feet to manage that all by himself just fine, thank you very much.
He really wasn't prepared for the assembly of people in the Headmaster's Office, when he stepped through the floo with a sour expression on his face. Next to an almost worried-looking Albus Dumbledore, there was also Minerva, who paced the room like an agitated lioness in a cage. That was probably how the stern woman felt anyway, as her eyes tirelessly trailed over her three lion cubs that set in front of the Headmaster's desk. He had expected Harry Potter, of course, but he should have known that his two best friends weren't far behind, when trouble was involved.
"Ah Severus," the old man in midnight-blue robes said with a pleased smile. "Thank you for joining us so willingly."
Who was this man trying to fool? The kids? By the look of it, they could definitely tell that he'd rather be somewhere else. And for once he really didn't feel like playing the Headmaster's games. "I'm here because you asked me to be, no more and no less. So out with it, what have these fools done now?"
He saw the Granger girl and Potter bristle in their chairs, while the Weasley boy looked like he was about to explode by the red colour of his face. But thankfully the Headmaster silenced them with a calming gesture of his hand. "I assure you, Severus, that the three of them are quite innocent this time. You see, Mr. Potter has just made a very disconcerting discovery concerning some unsettling dreams he has had in the last weeks."
He couldn't help but snort. "You called me because the boy has nightmares?" he asked in disbelief and he saw Minerva's eyes flash in anger at his words. Interesting. But it wasn't her or the Headmaster, who provided the answer to his question, but Potter himself.
"A part of Voldemort's soul is living inside me," the boy said heatedly and rose from his seat with clenched fists. "I don't know how, but Hermione brewed this potion you recently taught us in class and that's the answer it gave me." Lily's boy looked at him with those stubborn green eyes that reminded him so much of her and waited for his reaction. Severus just darted his eyes from one person to another and waited for them to correct or scold the boy. But they just stared at Potter with a sad, hopeless expression. Merlin, were they serious?
He closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. When he opened them again his eyes were on the girl that sat next to her friend and clutched his hand, like her life or sanity was depending on it. "Miss Granger, where would you have brewed such a fragile and difficult potion without my knowledge? It takes a full equipped potions lab for it to turn out right and I am quite sure you weren't using any of the labs downstairs. So be so kind as to let me know, which dingy place or bathroom you chose this time for your extracurricular activities."
Severus could see the Know-It-All stiffen in her chair before her brown eyes flashed with anger and resistance. "The potion wasn't contaminated and was in perfect order, Professor," the little bushy-haired witch said and raised her chin proudly. "And as my previous attempt on brewing the Draught of Insight showed, I am very well able to achieve satisfying results."
Severus had to bite the inside of his cheek to not take points from the insolent child for its insulting tone, but he guessed that doing this wouldn't have been wise in presence of the Gryffindor-loving Headmaster and her Head of the House. Still, his fingers itched to do just that. But he wouldn't let himself be provoked by the little minx and so he looked at her with a calculated, cool expression instead. "That might very well be, but I still have to make sure that the potion Mr Potter ingested was at least working properly and he didn't have some sorts of… hallucinations. I really don't fancy causing an uproar over something that was just a figment of Mr Potters imagination."
The Granger girl nodded solemnly. "That is only reasonable, I guess. I do have the other vial containing the potion with me if this would be of any help to you, Sir." Without waiting for his answer she handed him a small vial that she had stored inside of her robes and it only took him a brief look and a sniff at the substance to come to the conclusion, that the potion was indeed flawless. He closed the small glass container again, recast the stasis charm and pocketed it inside of his own robes before he looked at the annoying student with a dark expression.
"Where did you brew the potion Miss Granger?" he asked her directly and in a collected voice. And even though he had to give her credit for the attempt not to move, he could see her start to wiggle in her chair – good. "The secret is not mine to tell, Sir. I promised to keep it and so I can't tell you. I'm sorry." Her tone was almost polite and he could see the Headmasters lips twitch at her words, but Severus Snape was not impressed.
"As you wish, Miss Granger. That will be two weeks of detention with me, I fear." He had to work hard not to look too smug because he heard Minerva's gasp behind him, but the old, grumpy cat couldn't say a word, about the punishment not being justified – because it was. The Weasley boy had taken on the colour of a ripe tomato by now and Severus noted to himself, that it surely was rather tiring to be in such an irritable mood all the time. The boy really had to work on this self-control or otherwise, he'd have a stroke by 40. Hermione Granger, on the other hand, looked almost collected.
"Very well, Sir. Tell me what time you expect me in your office, Sir," she said and looked at him with a solemn expression. He had no doubt though, that the girl was at least a little bit wounded, as he was pretty sure that she had only been in detention once or twice and never for such a long time.
"I'll expect you there today and every following day at 7 in the evening, including the weekends," he said and turned his attention to Potter. "Well, Mr Potter as for your unfortunate condition…"
But he didn't get any further, as he was promptly interrupted by Dumbledore himself. "You must teach him Occlumency, Severus. It will only help to a certain extent, I fear, but it is all we have until we find a more permanent solution."
Severus didn't like the sound of that at all. If there was really a piece of the Dark Lord's soul inside the boy, then there were only very few possibilities for how this could have happened. And he didn't know a single way to get rid of such a soul piece without… Merlin, the boy would have to die and by the look of it, Dumbledore was already aware of that. And Severus would bet his good arm, that he didn't intend telling anyone of that fact, old manipulative bastard!
"Very well, Headmaster. I'll teach him," he said and looked at Lily's son with a calculating expression. "Mr Potter, I expect you at my office every Saturday after lunch. If somebody asks, you are taking additional Potions Classes to improve your poor performance in class. Considering your poor grades I'm pretty sure that no one will think twice about it."
With that, he turned away from the boy, without waiting for an answer and looked at the Headmaster with a distant expression. "Is there anything else you need me for, Headmaster?"
The old man looked at him with blue eyes that were missing the ever-present twinkle. "Thank you, Severus, this will be all." He replied politely and nodded. And Severus could not help but feel relieved, that he was finally allowed to stumble back into his own rooms. He had no doubt that he wouldn't be in the mood to read his Potion's article today. But at least he could use the seclusion of his chambers to sort out the variety of thoughts that were buzzing through his head because just like that his situation had gotten even more complicated and hopeless. But he also realized that he wasn't the most unlucky bastard in the room any longer. That position went to Harry Potter now and Severus realized that he really felt sorry for the boy. Nobody deserved such a fate, not even James Potter's son.
sssssssss
The three friends walked back into the Gryffindor common room in complete silence. Each one of them seemed to have their own shock to process and so they didn't feel like talking very much. Hermione wouldn't have thought it possible, but her life had just gotten even more complicated, and they weren't even a month into the new school year.
Harry's condition scared her more than she would ever let him know. Having a part of Voldemort's soul inside him could have all sorts of terrible consequences. Who knew if You-Know-Who wouldn't even be able to control her friend with time, or to corrupt him so that he would turn against them. Or he could simply listen in to whatever went on around her friend, which wasn't a big problem as long as nothing exciting happened. But did their enemy already spy out the location of the headquarters of the Order? Or what would happen if Harry suddenly discovered the identity of the Open Link? Would Voldemort know?
They would have to be careful around Harry, no longer tell him things of importance and Hermione could already imagine how well this would sit with her temperamental friend. Harry hated to be excluded, to know that somebody withheld things from him on purpose. But that was exactly what they would have to do, wasn't it? How long would their friendship survive all the secrets? And could she, as a muggle-born, even still feel safe in Harry's presence?
"Merlin Hermione, I'm sorry for the detention," Harry said and threw himself into one of the empty wingback chairs that were standing close to the windows. For a moment Hermione hadn't even realized that they were already back in the common room, but when she looked around now she could see that almost all the seats were already occupied by busy Gryffindor students. Another look through the windows in front of her told her that evening was already approaching and that it couldn't be too long until dinner and her first detention with Snape afterwards. She sighed.
"It's alright, Harry. It's only for two weeks. Luckily I've already been working ahead, so it should interfere with my school work too much."
Ron snorted before he stretched out on the sofa to Harry's left. "No, but it still means seeing the old bat every evening for two weeks. And I'm pretty sure he won't make it pleasant for you."
"No, I'm sure he won't. He was pretty angry at me before," Hermione agreed and combed her hand through her hair. "But I'm sure it's nothing I can't take. So don't worry about me too much." She put on a brave smile for them. "Anyway, I'll try to finish the essay for Professor Flitwick before dinner. See you later, boys." With that and a wave, Hermione retreated into her blissfully empty dorm. She didn't really have to finish the essay, as she had already done so yesterday, but she really needed some undisturbed time for herself. Because there was a lot she needed to think about.
It was barely two hours later when Hermione stood in front of Professor Snape's office. She didn't have much of an appetite during dinner as her stomach was still in tight knots and refused everything but dry bread and water. And even the few bites she had taken of that she had almost to force down her throat. But it wouldn't help her to sit in Snape's detention with a growling stomach.
She had barely knocked as the door already opened and a gloomy-looking Potions Professor stood in front of her with a foreboding smile on his lips and Hermione needed all her courage not to stumble a step back from him.
"Come in," he said in his deep voice and turned around to retreat back into the room. Hermione swallowed heavily before she took a deep breath and followed him inside. She had never been to his office before but the place was everything she had expected to find when she entered a place that was regularly used by the grumpy Professor. All the furniture was of dark brown wood. Aside from a huge desk that was laden with countless papers and essays, there were two rather uncomfortable-looking chairs and numerous shelves that took up almost all the space along the walls. Some of them were filled with containers full of gruesome-looking potions ingredients but most of them held a large number of expensive and old books which Hermione would have loved to explore. But she was pretty sure that her teacher wouldn't be very forthcoming if she asked him to let her browse through his book collection.
"Are you quite finished staring at my personal belongings, Miss Granger?" Professor Snape asked her with a dark expression. "Because I'd rather start with this detention of yours or otherwise I'll be forced to endure your presence for even longer than two weeks."
She nodded with clenched teeth. "Yes, Professor Snape, Sir," she said as politely as she could manage. "What will I be doing for you today, Sir?"
For a moment the man in front of her didn't answer and he could see that he was studying her with a somewhat dark expression. Whatever he was looking for, he must have found it, as his eyes suddenly left her person and he looked at one of the chairs in front of his desk. "Sit, Miss Granger. I'd like to have a little conversation with you first."
She looked up at him in surprise. "As you wish, Sir." Hermione didn't hesitate and picked the right chair for herself. There she folded her hands in her lap and waited until the Professor had taken his seat behind the desk. Hermione knew better than to address him, without being invited to do so and therefore she decided to wait until he told her about the task that he intended her to fulfil.
"Well, Miss Granger," Professor Snape finally started and folded his hands in front of his chin. "I am pretty sure you are aware of the danger your little friend and therefore everyone associated with him is in. Having a part of somebody's soul inside oneself is never a good thing, no matter what other nonsense some romantic fools might spout. It is only a matter of time until the Dark Lord will be able to read Potter's thoughts and I wouldn't think it behind him that he could even use your friend to read the thoughts of people surrounding him as well." He looked at her with dark, unfathomable eyes and Hermione felt a shudder run down her spine.
"That's what I feared, Sir," she said and suddenly Hermione felt small and lost when she thought about what might lie in front of her and her friends. She didn't even know where to start if she wanted to drag them out of this mess and she could feel her shoulders getting heavy under this kind of liability.
"As you know I agreed to teach Mr Potter some degree of Occlumency and even though I am an excellent teacher in the field I doubt that your friend will be able to learn it very well from me. You might be aware that I am working as a double agent for the Order and therefore I'll have to keep up my façade as the Dark Lord's loyal servant."
Hermione stared at the man with wide eyes. Why was he telling her all this? She wasn't even a member of the Order, yet. But she kept her mouth shut and concentrated on Professor Snape's words, as she knew he must have a good reason for telling her those things.
"At the moment we do not know if the Dark Lord is even aware of the connection between him and Mister Potter and therefore able to read his thoughts. But I have no doubt that it will be only a matter of time and therefore we all need to be very careful what we do in Mr Potter's presence."
Hermione nodded mutely and stared at her Professor. But her throat felt suddenly dry and even if she would have known what to say at that, she probably wouldn't have been able to manage more than a few hoarse words.
"Therefore I will not be able to teach your friend properly, as it would endanger my position as a spy and I really cannot afford to risk that."
"You're not teaching him, Sir? But you said that…" She didn't get any further, as the man just interrupted her mid-sentence.
"I said I would teach him, yes. But I won't be able to teach him well enough to learn something that would only be a little useful. Nonetheless, your friend still needs to learn to defend himself, which is the reason you are now sitting here with me, Miss Granger."
Something flashed behind the Professor's dark eyes and suddenly Hermione felt like a deer in the headlights. Her heart started to flutter nervously in her chest and she had to wipe her clammy hands on her robe, as she contemplated what she had just been told. "You want to teach me Occlumency instead, in the hope that I can teach Harry," she summarized her thoughts and stared at the man in shock. "But, this detention is only going for two weeks and until yesterday I didn't even know that such a magical discipline even exists."
But Professor Snape didn't seem worried in the least and looked at her with confidence, that spoke of years of experience. "I will assign you a lot of homework, Miss Granger. I won't lie to you. These will most likely be the worst two weeks of your life, as we don't have the luxury of doing this slowly. I will give you this evening to read through a book that will explain the basics to you. You will not be allowed to take it with you, after leaving this office, so I encourage you to make sure you have everything memorized before you close this door behind you." Professor Snape studied her with his dark, almost black eyes and Hermione could feel goosebumps starting to spread on her skin. "Tomorrow we will start your training. For that, I will have to try to break into your mind, which will not be pleasant, to put it mildly. Most likely you will not be able to keep anything hidden from me for the first days and I have no doubt this will be at least a humiliating if not a violent experience for you. But it's the only way to teach you the required techniques."
Hermione nodded and looked at her Professor with wide eyes. She could feel her body shaking all over and she was pretty sure that the man could sense her fear and uneasiness quite easily. But luckily he refrained from commenting on it. "What if I do have secrets that I don't want to be exposed, Sir?" she asked in an uneasy, small voice but she forced herself to look him into the eyes as she did so. "I didn't lie when I told you, that I can't tell you where I brewed the Draught of Insight, sir. I gave my word, Sir and I don't want to break it."
The man in front of her sighed. "It is your decision, Miss Granger. You can, of course, decide to use these two weeks to clean cauldrons and prepare potions ingredients for me. But I would strongly advise you against it."
Hermione nodded. She knew that she didn't really have a choice on that matter as Harry would have to learn to defend his mind as fast as possible and being able to teach him was worth almost every price. She sighed. "Could you… could you at least promise, that you will not act on the knowledge you discover from my mind, Sir? I don't care about my personal secrets, but please don't start punishing others, for sharing their secrets with me."
Hermione knew she wasn't in the position to ask this of him, but she had to try anyway. And she was rewarded for it when her teacher looked at her with a tired but slightly amused expression. "You are a loyal friend, Miss Granger. Very well, I will promise you, that nothing I learn from your mind will leave this room. Any other concerns?"
She shook her head with a grateful smile. "No Sir, thank you, Sir."
"Very well," Professor Snape said and slid an old-looking, leather-bound book across his desk. "I'm sure I don't have to remind you to be careful with this. Take as much time reading it today, as you need. I will supply you with a note if you decide to leave my office after curfew."
He lazily waved his wand and without him uttering a single word, the chair to her left transformed into a cosy looking, dark-green armchair. "Now read, Miss Granger. But I must ask you to refrain from asking your millions of questions until tomorrow. Today I am quite busy, as you see."
Hermione looked at him with a hesitant expression and nodded. She could have sworn, that there was a scientific article in front of him, something about poisons and potions, but she surely wouldn't be stupid enough to ask him about it. She really didn't want to stress her luck any further today.