A.N.: This chapter was betaed by my friend Multilingualism. Thank you so much for your help!
Chapter 13: Blackout
Potter's first Occlumency lesson was a disaster, very much like Severus had intended it to be. Severus didn't even have to make much of an effort to alienate the boy, as their dislike for each other was mutual and Potter really had a bad temper on top of that. It would have been difficult to teach him some mental discipline in the first place and he really didn't envy the Granger girl that she would be the one who'd have to do it in the end. But the girl had the patience of a saint and had the bonus of being his friend, so if there was anybody who could give the boy a chance to defend his mind then it was her.
"Come in, Miss Granger," he told her, as she knocked at his door right in time. She was never late, never unfriendly or disrespectful towards him, even though he hadn't coddled her and commented on every embarrassing memory he found, just to let her feel some sort of consequence of not being able to protect her secrets accordingly.
"Good evening, Professor Snape," Miss Granger greeted him back and entered his room. Something was different about her today, he realized immediately and he didn't mean it in a good way. The girl seemed even more tired than usual and her whole demeanour seemed sad and wound up at the same time. Well, but as long as it didn't influence her concentration during their lesson, he didn't really care. He'd already had his share of teenage drama during the last weeks.
"Let's see about that, shall we, Miss Granger? Your friend really managed to grate on my patience today and I'm sure he'll be complaining about his lessons with me later on."
The girl sighed tiredly but didn't comment. Instead, she walked to her assigned armchair and sunk into it with a huff of resignation. Well, obviously Severus wasn't the only one having a shitty day and he was just about to make it worse for her.
"Brace yourself, Miss Granger," he warned and only a second later he started to cast. By now he had gotten used to the girl's mind and he was prepared to find himself back in her neat bedroom, from where he would usually start exploring all the new rooms she had added to it day by day. But if he had ever had a question about her mental condition then it was answered when he took in the chaos that waited for him in her head. It was like a tornado had raged in the place, as all books and papers were strewn on the floor and some pages were even torn out of them. For a moment he looked at the picture in speechlessness and he had to remind himself, that this was just a mental image and there was no reason to scold the girl for wracking her bookshelf. Where should he even start in this mess? Should he try one of the other rooms instead or would he find the same amount of devastation there? He carefully stepped outside her bedroom and peeked down the wide hallway that led to another large library and her parent's bedroom, as he knew by now. But nothing seemed amiss there and so he decided to inspect the chaos behind him instead. If there was a reason for the girl's mental breakdown then it surely could be found here. And wasn't that a worthy goal for today's Occlumency training?
He turned around and lowered himself to the floor. The first book he picked up was a copy of "History of Hogwarts" and when he opened it he had to realize that it really was just that. Had the girl really memorized the whole book for god's sake? He started reading and really, he could have sworn that the text was almost identical to what he remembered from his own copy and he couldn't help being fascinated. But just as he was about to start reading another page, the whole scenery suddenly shifted and everything around him turned black. Suddenly there was nothing, not the room, not the books but not even the usual disarray and flood of pictures he found when he entered an untrained mind. Instead, there was just darkness around him and nothing else. That shouldn't have happened, Severus thought and with a feeling of uneasiness, he decided to leave her mind. It wasn't a moment too soon, he realized because when he searched for her he found her on the floor next to his armchair. Never before she had fallen off and when he stepped closer he realized that she must simply have passed out and lost consciousness. Hastily Severus kneeled down next to her, felt her pulse and checked the reaction of her eyes. Miss Granger had really passed out with him still being in her mind, which had never happened before or never should have happened at all. But there was not much he could do for her now and so he simply decided to prop up her legs and monitor her. For a moment he even considered taking her to the infirmary but he could only imagine what would happen, if it became known, that Miss Granger had passed out during detention with him. The gossip it would lead to would be an absolute nightmare to deal with and he was pretty sure that the girl would be forbidden to return to another detention with him. But their lessons were far from finished and so this had to be avoided at all costs. Luckily he was quite well-stocked with potions and was very well versed with healing charms as well. And so he was pretty sure that there wasn't much Poppy would do, that he wasn't able to do himself for his student.
He cast a simple monitoring charm over her and studied the results with furrowed brows. The girl's energy levels were dangerously low and they were continuing to fall even further, even though she should definitely be recovering by now. For Merlin's sake, the girl was resting on his floor but still, her magic seemed to trickle out of her like someone had just pulled a stopper or something. But that shouldn't even be possible until... could it be that Hermione Granger was the Open Link? He cursed before he cast another monitoring charm on her and then another. There was nothing physically wrong with her apart from a slight deficit on nutrition, which was most likely due to the fact that the girl had skipped some meals to be able to keep up with her homework. But apart from that, she was fine and as there was no spell for directly showing the state of her magical core, his theory with the Open Link was the only explanation right now and he'd have to stick with it until he had proof.
Severus took a deep breath. Alright, that was not the right moment for him to lose his nerves. He would have enough time to go over the implications of this realisation later. But first, he had to save the girl, because if things went on like that there was no saying what would happen to her. No matter what he did, it would only be a temporary fix, as the girl obviously needed a linking partner soon. Severus dashed from his room into his lab and summoned a variety of different restorative potions. It only took him seconds, before he was back at her side and gently forced the first one down her throat. It was followed by a second and third one before he made the quick decision to transfigure the sofa in his sitting room into a comfortable single bed and carry the girl towards it. He blocked the floo connection and carefully warded the door to his rooms, as he really wasn't keen on having any surprises, while he had a student in his rooms before he lifted her from the floor. She wasn't big or heavy by any means but without being conscious and supporting him, she was still a dead weight that made him regret not having levitated her. But Severus had the faint hope that the physical contact to him could help her body to feel grounded in some way but as he wasn't completely sure how these things worked, he couldn't know. The Dark Lord had been very brief with the information he gave him, barely enough to find the Open Link but not enough to know how one formed an attachment. The man was paranoid to the boot, after all, and even though Severus seemed to be trusted enough to search for the Open Link, he wasn't intended to claim it for himself. That was until fate had decided to make him an unexpected gift and place the sought out person right on his doorstep. He was pretty sure the girl didn't even know herself what was wrong with her and so he was pretty convinced that apart from him nobody had the faintest idea that Hermione Granger was, in fact, most likely the Open Link. One could call it a stroke of luck, or fate but to Severus, it looked like the tide was just about to turn. He had been dealt a shitty set of cards at the beginning of this game, but suddenly he had gotten his hands on a Joker. And Severus would be damned if he would let this chance slip away from him that easily. He was a Slytherin after all and as such he knew how to survive.
sssssssss
When Hermione awoke she felt as well-rested as she hadn't in weeks. The constant buzz in her head had somewhat faded into the background and the aching in her limbs, which had plagued her during the last days, was barely even noticeable any longer. She had almost felt good, if there wasn't this sudden emptiness in her chest that had befallen her, after having come clear with the twins. But she was sure she'd start feeling better with time when she'd finally finished her last lesson with Snape and had some more time to finish her work again.
"Have you finished napping on my sofa?" a well-known baritone pulled her out of her thoughts and her eyes fell open with a shocked gasp. Merlin, the last thing she remembered was having started another Occlumency lesson after having returned from her trip to Hogsmead but then… nothing. She cursed inwardly. Could it be that she fell asleep during the lesson? Snape would kill her or in the very least put her in detention until the end of the school year.
The first thing she saw after she opened her eyes was him. Professor Snape still wore his dark, buttoned robes but he had lowered himself in a leathered armchair to her right. There he sat with an old-looking book in hands and watched her with a dangerously blank expression. She stared at him with wide, panicked eyes before she scrambled into a sitting position.
"I… I am sorry Professor Snape," she hastily apologized and looked around in panic. She was in a completely different room than before and even though the furniture was still held in dark wood combined with brown and green tones the place had a much more personal touch and was almost comfortable. There was a cosy fireplace to her left and several other bookshelves in the background of the room. On the floor, she could also see a fluffy, dark green carpet that somehow completed the look of the room rather nicely. Where in Merlin's name was she? "I must have fallen asleep, Sir," Hermione continued and forced herself to stay calm. It wouldn't help her to panic in front of Professor Snape, as this would probably only make his mood worse.
"Indeed," the man said with a calm expression and put his book aside. "Do you have any explanation for that little mishap, Miss Granger?"
He looked at her with a raised eyebrow, but the anger she had feared was strangely absent from his features. "I… was tired, Sir. There wasn't much time to sleep lately and…"
"And what?" he asked her with a curious expression and an inclined head.
Hermione closed her eyes in mortification. "It seems I couldn't keep myself any longer awake. I'm so sorry, Sir. I swear I never before fell asleep in class, not once." She assured him desperately and looked at him with wide eyes. His were almost black, she noted and looked at her without blinking.
"For the future, I expect you to be well-rested and fed before you meet me for your lessons in the evening," he finally said and fixed her with his eyes. "It is of no use if I am trying to teach you something and you're barely able to keep your eyes open. Will that be a problem?"
Hermione sighed tiredly. She knew that she should simply tell him it would be fine, but if she was honest with herself, she didn't know how much longer she could go on like this. The longer the school year went on, the more tired she got and the added stress of helping Harry out while taking Occlumency lessons didn't really make it any easier. "I don't know, Sir. I am already behind in my homework and I planned on doing one or two late-night sessions to try to catch up."
He sighed before he shook his head. "That won't do, I fear. Do you want to cancel the lessons with me for now and use the time to catch up with your homework? You'd have to do so in my rooms, as you are still officially in detention, but as long as you don't disturb me with endless chatter there shouldn't be a problem with that."
Hermione looked at him with wide eyes and a heavy heart. Did he just… "You'll no longer teach me Occlumency, Sir? But, what about Harry… I need to be able to help him." Her voice sounded panicked but she didn't care. The Professor needed to know that she didn't want him to cancel her lessons, not even if it meant that she'd have to cut short on her homework. He seemed to read her thoughts as he shook his head with a sigh.
"And you will, Miss Granger, eventually. Your momentary knowledge on the topic should be enough to help him clear his mind and start with basic visualisation techniques. If my estimation is correct, it will take him weeks to even master that much, which gives us time for you to … recover. We could instead agree on meeting once a week to continue your lessons if you think you could fit it into your schedule."
For a moment Hermione simply could not believe her ears. Did Professor Snape really just try to find a solution, to make it easier for her? That was … unexpected. But she felt grateful nonetheless. "Absolutely, Sir. Thank you, Sir. I will not disappoint you again, Sir," she assured him hastily and Hermione could have sworn to see a small smile grace his lips.
"Alright, Miss Granger," he agreed with a nod. "What about Friday evening? You'd be able to have a lie-in in the next morning to compensate for the lost hours of sleep. It is of no use if you run yourself to the ground in your attempt to help your friend." As he said those last words, Professor Snape's hand slightly touched her arm and he fixed her with his gaze. "You need to take better care of yourself, do you hear me?"
She nodded slowly unable to tear her eyes away from him and for a moment she could have even sworn to feel her heart stutter in her chest. "Yes, Sir," she finally replied hoarsely but it was enough to satisfy him.
"Very well. Then I guess it is time for you to get back to your common room. It is almost midnight and I'm sure Mr Potter will eagerly await your return to complain about me." At his last words, Professor Snape's mouth turned into a crooked smile and Hermione could have sworn that she had never before seen this expression on him. But somehow the smile suited him. Merlin, where did that though suddenly come from? Hermione shook her head in confusion.
"Alright. Good night Professor and thank you… for everything," she said and smiled gratefully.
He answered her with a nod. "It is my duty to take care of you, Miss Granger. And now come, I'll escort you back to my office door."
Hermione carefully got up to her feet and followed her Potions Professor back into his office. She hadn't realized that his personal quarters were just next door. She still couldn't believe that he let her rest in his personal quarters instead of waking her up and giving her even more detention as a punishment. But she guessed she didn't know her Professor very well. Tonight he had surprised her more than once, after all.
ssssssssss
Professor Snape was of course right as Harry and Ron were indeed waiting for her when she stumbled through the portrait hole into the Gryffindor common room. They had placed themselves close to the fire and seemed to be engaged in a game of Exploding Snap, but as soon as they heard her enter the common room, their heads turned around.
"Hermione, finally!" Ron shouted and got up with a relieved sigh. "Merlin, Snape really keeps you for ages in these detentions. Doesn't the guy have a hobby or something?"
Hermione smiled weakly and shrugged. She couldn't very well tell them that she had mostly slept in Snape's quarters today, as they would probably freak out and refuse to let her go back ever again. "I don't know. Maybe he just likes reading, because he seems to do that quite a lot." It wasn't a lie, Hermione thought, not really. But it would hopefully be enough to stop them from asking any further about her detention because Hermione would hate it to have to lie to them.
Harry shrugged. "He does have a lot of books in his office," he admitted and Hermione could see that the two of them were expecting for her to stay with them for a while. Luckily she felt well-rested, thanks to her little nap, and so she sat down next to them on the floor.
"How was your first Occlumency lesson anyway, Harry? You know, I've done a bit of research and it sounds awfully interesting," Hermione said and looked at her dark-haired friend with a curious smile. It was enough to make him groan.
"It was a nightmare," Harry complained. "He really didn't explain much and just kept attacking my mind. The only advice he gave me was to clear my mind, but that's easier said than done if the guy keeps shuffling through your memories and taunts you about everything he finds."
Hermione sighed. Professor Snape hadn't been kidding when he said that he wouldn't make an effort with teaching Harry. She knew the reason why, of course, but how was she supposed to teach Harry without giving her secret away? "I don't really know how it works, but I could do some research if you want. You really need to be able to defend yourself from this thing in your head and if you don't think Professor Snape will be able to help you, then we'll find another way, okay?" She forced herself to look into his eyes, even though she'd rather have avoided it. But Harry was her friend, for god's sake, and she really didn't want more distance between them than strictly necessary.
"Yeah, that would be great. Thank you, Hermione," Harry answered with a weak smile. "How was your date by the way?"
Hermione groaned inwardly. Did she really have to talk about this?
"Yeah, we asked Fred and George, you know? But they were suspiciously silent about it," Ron continued and looked at her with curiosity. Obviously, there was no getting away from this. She sighed.
"Yeah, I imagine they would be. Let's just say that there will not be another date. We're better off as friends."
Ron looked at her with questioning eyes, whereas Harry looked like he'd rather end the conversation here. But unfortunately for them, Ron wasn't finished. "Merlin Hermione, that sounds bad. Did they try to kiss you?"
"No!" she protested with red cheeks because she was pretty sure she'd have let them even though she would have known what a bad idea that was. "They were perfect gentlemen, don't worry."
"Good," the younger Weasley said and looked at her with a crooked grin. "Because I swear, I would have punched them if they messed around with you. You deserve better than being toyed around with. 'm not saying they would have done that, but …"
"It's alright. Thanks for watching out for me, Ron," Hermione said quickly and touched his arm. "You're a good friend."
He snorted. "You're the one saving our arses over and over again. The least I can do is trying to save your heart in return."
Hermione forced herself to smile, even though she could feel the tears rise behind her eyes. Poor Ron didn't have an idea that he might be too late for doing that but not because his brothers were the ones who had broken her heart. She had managed that all by herself.