A.N.: I really shouldn't be posting this, as I haven't written anything new since I published the last chapter of this story. But I have a hard time at the moment and posting always cheers me up. Let's hope it works, because I hate to be stuck in my writing.

A big thank you to Multilingualism, who betaed this chapter for me.

Chapter 15: What lies inside

Hermione found herself in a smallish bedroom that was all brown and grey colours. The floor was made of brown, worn timber floorboards that would have surely creaked under her feet if she had been really there. But this was just a memory, the memory of young Severus Snape who was currently sitting on his bed with his back leaned against the wall and a book in hand. Hermione guessed that he must have been a bit younger than she was now. His hair was already long and covered most of his face like a curtain and only his long nose was peaking out of it, as he was totally absorbed by his book. The sight of him made her smile as she could totally understand. There wasn't much in the room of this young teenage Severus. Apart from the bed, there was a small wooden wardrobe and a small desk by the window. Next to it was a low shelf but apart from his school books and a few muggle stories, there wasn't much to find. And Hermione instantly felt sorry for this boy who seemed to have a passion for reading but not the means of buying interesting books for himself.

"Severus, come down here at once," a male voice suddenly barked from outside the room and by the stiffening of the boy's body, Hermione got the feeling that there wasn't a good relationship between him and this unknown person. But young Severus immediately scrambled to his feet, marked his current page in the book and hastened outside. Hermione didn't have much choice than to follow him, as she was currently in his memory and so it felt like she was pulled after him by something like an elastic band connecting their bodies.

The boy scurried down the stairs and turned to the right and Hermione just saw him cross a door frame before he disappeared into a room, which must have been the kitchen. There, at the kitchen table, sat a rough-looking man that must have been his father. Hermione could see lots of similarities between the two of them, the long nose, the black hair and dark eyes and also the noticeable cheekbones, that gave their faces a very own character. But apart from those features, the two of them couldn't have been much different. Where Professor Snape was always slender, the man at the table looked strong. His face was tanned like he was spending most of his days outside and by the state of his hands, he most likely earned his money by doing hard labour. But the most shocking to Hermione was the man's expression. Professor Snape had never been a friendly Professor and there were times, where he had been unjust or even cruel towards her and her friends. But Hermione had never been afraid of him and she knew that he would still protect her if she was ever in danger. His father, on the other hand, looked like he wouldn't only hurt somebody with his cruel words, but also on a very physical level. And the realisation made her skin crawl.

"Where have you been, boy?" the man asked his son in a harsh voice and looked at him with a cold, calculating expression.

"Upstairs, doing homework," young Severus explained quietly and looked at his father with a bowed head.

"Bah, I'm sure you finished your homework within the first three days of your holidays, boy, which only leaves the realisation that you've been hiding out doing… nothing!"

The teenager flinched like he had been expecting a blow, but his father's hand connected with the table with a loud thud.

"But I have enough of this laziness, boy. If you want to eat, you are going to work. Not like one of them, no, you're going to do proper work. Do you hear me?"

Young Severus nodded submissively. "Yes, father."

"But Tobias," a female voice from the other end of the room pleaded and just then Hermione realized there was even another person there. The woman, which must have been Professor Snape's mother, had surely been beautiful once, but now her blond hair had started to turn limp and grey and her face was full of worry lines. But the worst were her eyes, which were shimmering with hopelessness that it took Hermione' breath away. "You can't take him into the mines with you. You know how dangerous it is down there after they closed them down and…"

"Be quiet, woman," Tobias Snape interrupted her and leapt to his feet and Hermione could see the other woman flinch in fear. "The boy will come with me and he'll make himself useful for once. And if he's stupid enough to hurt himself, then it's maybe a mouth less we've got to feed."

Young Severus stared at his parents with wide eyes and from the direction of his mother, there was only a whimper as an answer. And so he stared at his father with a resigned expression on his face and nodded.

"Come now, boy. Today you'll finally learn something useful," the man said, got up and left the room. Severus followed him, with a last, wistful look towards his mother, who looked at him with sad, helpless eyes. But there was no other word of resistance from her and so it was only a moment before Severus followed his father out of the house.

Hermione was just about to follow them when her world suddenly started to spin and for a moment it felt like she was pulled through a water surface. She gasped for air only to realize that she was somehow back to Professor Snape's office, where she was still sitting in the armchair he had provided for her. She blinked in confusion. Why was she back? The memory didn't feel like it ended there.

"I think that's enough," the man in front of her said in a calm but determined voice. He looked at her with a neutral expression but Hermione could have sworn that there was something behind his eyes: uneasiness maybe?

"The memory wasn't finished, was it?" she asked carefully and studied his expression. He nodded curtly while his eyes fixed a point somewhere behind her.

"It wasn't. But I decided to end it before things got too… exciting," he replied and even though one side of his mouth twitched Hermione knew, that he didn't mean exciting in a good way.

"I didn't know one could do that," she said and looked at him with furrowed brows. "But I guess there's a lot I still don't know."

The Professor smiled wistfully. "There's always a multitude of knowledge we do not possess, Miss Granger. Don't let this ever stop you from learning new things." With that, he positioned himself more comfortably in his armchair and looked at her with his fingers steepled in front of his chin. "Tell me, what did you learn on your trip into my head?" He looked at her with a challenging look in his eyes and Hermione contemplated his question carefully.

"I learned an effective way of protecting one's memories, Sir. Until now I didn't understand how to do that properly, but now I see that hiding my memories within books wasn't very effective. Almost everyone can read a book." She shrugged with a crooked grin. "Your way of hiding them in a potion the attacker has to make without instruction is… genius. You simply used one of your strengths to do it, which is brilliant! I love it!" She looked at him excitedly.

"Good," Professor Snape replied with a nod and Hermione thought, he actually looked pleased. "Now tell me, Miss Granger, what strengths do you possess that you could use for doing the same?"

She chewed at her bottom lip. "I… I'll have to think about it, Sir. There might be a few things, but I'm not sure whether they would be suitable to turn them into these sorts of defences."

The Professor nodded. "Good. I want you to do that for your homework until next week. Try finding a unique way of hiding your memories and implement it into your mental image. Can you do that, Miss Granger?"

Hermione nodded self-assuredly. "Yes, Sir."

"Very well. Then I think we're finished for today," her teacher said and got up from his seat. He turned towards his desk and Hermione thought he wanted to sit down behind it, to continue doing his work, but instead, he opened one of the drawers and pulled something out. He looked at her for a long moment, before he stepped in front of her and said: "You did a good job finding my memories and I think you earned yourself a little price." He stretched out his arm towards her and when he opened his palm, there was a small potion phial in it.

"Is this… that's my potion, the Draught of Insight, isn't it, Sir?" Hermione asked and looked at him confusedly. "You're giving it back to me, Sir?"

Professor Snape nodded with a neutral expression. "I am. And I want you to take it before our next lesson. See it as an incentive to build good mental shields, because I'll be looking for whatever you're going to learn from it."

Hermione swallowed heavily. She felt a bit uncomfortable at the thought of taking the potion if there wasn't really the need to do so. Harry and Ron had been somewhat desperate, but she wasn't. What if it didn't provide an answer, at all? Well, it would if she decided on the right question. And there was a question that was almost on everybody's mind at the moment. She sighed. "Alright, Sir. I must confess, I don't like the idea very much. But I guess there's nothing else you don't already know about me."

He looked at her with a small smile. "Indeed. Does this worry you, Miss Granger?" His tone sounded light, almost casual but Hermione could feel that the question behind it was serious. And so she listened into her heart before she said: "No, Sir. I trust you not to use this knowledge against me and that's all I care about."

The Professor nodded. "Good, then I suggest we'll meet here at my office next Wednesday at 7. Goodnight, Miss Granger."

"Good night, Sir," Hermione replied and she was just about to turn around, when she changed her mind, gathered her courage and said: "May I ask you a question, before I go, Sir?"

Immediately he fixed her with his dark eyes and Hermione could feel the nervousness rise within her. "You may." His answer was short and even though his face remained almost expressionless, she still felt a thrill of excitement at his words.

"Why did you end the memory early, Sir? What happened? Did he…" Hermione didn't dare to finish the sentence, as she felt she was already stressing her luck enough as it was. But even though her Professor would mostly simply decline to answer, she still wanted to try talking to him about what she had seen.

"Did he what, Miss Granger?" the man in front of her asked with a glint in his eyes. "Hit me?" His mouth twitched as he must have seen her shocked expression. "Of course he did. My father was an abusive bastard, as you surely noticed."

Hermione nodded weakly and captured her bottom lip with her teeth. But she didn't dare to say a word in fear of interrupting and therefore stopping him.

"But that's not what happened that day. I wouldn't have cared about you seeing any of this. No, as you heard my father took me to go into the old coal mine. It had been closed down a few years ago, but all the equipment was still there and so my father went regularly to work." The Professor's lips twitched angrily at the use of the last word and Hermione knew that by work he meant to steal. "But there was a reason the mines were closed. Working there had gotten dangerous and so it was no wonder when we got trapped down there by a landslide that day. It wasn't pretty."

Hermione stared at him with wide eyes. "I am sorry, Sir."

He fixed her with his dark eyes. "Don't be. It was a long time ago."

She nodded. "How did you get out? I'm sorry, I don't mean to pry."

Professor Snape shrugged. "I am a wizard, Miss Granger and you can imagine that having such a father led to always having my wand with me. I got us out but as I was underage and in a Muggle area the Ministry wasn't very impressed with me. But they let me off the hook with a stern warning."

She sighed in relief. "I'm glad. And your father? Did he… get hurt?"

He grunted. "Quite badly and he wasn't impressed when my mother fixed him with magic afterwards. I considered obliviating him, as I knew he'd let her feel his anger for weeks after. But as I was only a fourth-year I refrained from trying. He died half a year later when there was another landslide in the mines and he was down there with a friend. I can't say I've mourned his passing, as that would have been a lie."

Hermione nodded. "I understand, Sir, and I hope my curiosity didn't bring up any bad memories for you. It's a character trait I can't really help but I've recently been told, that it isn't necessarily a bad thing."

Professor Snape's mouth twitched at her words. "It is if it gets you killed. And now off with you, girl. I've entertained your curiosity enough for an evening."

She smiled. "Good night, Sir. And thank you."

He waved her off with a shrug but as Hermione left his office a small, victorious smile graced her lips. Because somehow she had the feeling that she discovered a bit more of her grumpy Potions Professor today and it was obvious that the man really put some trust in her, by letting her see a part of his past. And somehow that made her feel special.

ssssssss

It took Hermione two days to find a chance to take the potion. She wasn't afraid of doing so, but she decided that she would prefer doing it alone and uninterrupted and so she had to wait for a chance to retreat into her bed early. And this really wasn't an easy thing to do for her these days. But finally, it was Friday and she was pretty sure all the other girls in her dorm would have a late night and so it was the perfect chance for her to use the potion Professor Snape had given her. She had long decided on the question she would ask after drinking it because even though she wasn't as desperate or confused as Harry and Ron had been, she still wanted to make sure that the strong emotions she felt now and then weren't caused by an Open Link in her magic. Because that was the last thing she needed on top of her problems.

"Alright," she thought and closed the Gryffindor-red curtains of her bed around her before she cast a silencing and a notice-me-not charm. Then she sat down on the covers and crossed her legs in front of her. The Potion had been in the pocket of her robes ever since she had gotten it back. Now she finally pulled it out and weighed it in her hands, before she removed the stopper and sniffed the silvery liquid. It smelled a bit like flowers, she thought, but not in a way that made her want to drink it. Not that it mattered, because Potions rarely smelled delicious in the first place. "Well, no reason for stalling this," Hermione realized and held the bottle against her lips. "What is wrong with me?" she formulated her question in her mind, then she took a deep breath and gulped the potion down. It immediately took effect and it was only a matter of seconds before she had her answer. And she didn't like it at all.