"Video Game Royal Rumble"
Rated T for mild language and violence
Disclaimer: I do not own anything (especially the characters themselves) associated with Nintendo, Sega, Sony, Microsoft, Capcom, SNK, Marvel, DC, Rockstar, Activision, etc.
P.S.: I also like to thank TheExtremeBrony for inspiring me to do this idea.
Chapter 5: Vice City Comes To The Rumble
After taking his boxing robe off, Little Mac rushed directly in the ring and started throwing punches at anyone he saw his eyes on.
His first victim was Psymon Stark, in which he threw two left punches to the ribs, and threw a right punch to the face, knocking him down for the moment.
JBL: Little Mac's using the freak like a punching bag!
Jerry Lawler: Apparently, the rest of the competitors to him are like punching bags!
The next competitor Little Mac faced off against was Phoenix Wright. The ace attorney tried to slug him with haymakers of his own, but Little Mac was dodging each punch he could throw at him.
Suddenly, Phoenix let his guard down as Little Mac reached up and decked him with a very hard uppercut.
Michael Cole: Whoa! Uppercut right to the jaw!
JBL: Let's hope Phoenix's jaw stayed re-attached!
Jerry Lawler: I highly doubt so!
With Phoenix Wright down for the count, Little Mac looked for someone else to box with.
Unfortunately for him, the next contestant he stood face-to-face with was Donkey Kong. The big ape had towered the smaller Mac by just about 5 inches. Little Mac clenched his teeth tightly and stanced himself, hoping to throw everything the ape has for him.
JBL: Oh man, this is gonna be brutal! Donkey Kong's gonna wipe the floor with this kid!
Jerry Lawler: I probably wouldn't doubt it!
Cracking his big hairy knuckles, Donkey Kong swung right at Little Mac, who managed to move to the side. He swung once again, and so far, no luck.
Little Mac was too quick on his feet. He knew that with his speed, quickness, and flurries of fast punches, he could take Donkey Kong down at the right time. However, he needed to find the right time to do so.
Michael Cole: Wow! Little Mac's moving fast on his feet!
JBL: It's like Donkey Kong's not even trying to hit this kid!
Jerry Lawler: I think Mac's pretty much used to fighting giants his size!
After Donkey Kong missed on that third haymaker, Little Mac reached up and hit DK right in the jaw! And then, it was followed by another one, and another one, and another one, and another one. Little Mac was turning Donkey Kong's face into a total hamburger.
The next punch forced DK to go into Dizzy mode. The crowd was on their feet, sending out an "Oooooooh..." to Little Mac that would bring him the knockout blow.
JBL: Is he gonna knock DK out of here!
Jerry Lawler: Looks like it, JBL!
However, before Little Mac could give DK the knockout punch, Psymon Stark came out of nowhere and dropkicked Little Mac in the side of the head.
JBL: Huh, I was wrong.
Michael Cole: Psymon stopping Little Mac in time.
While Little Mac was trying to shake off the effects from that hard dropkick, Tina Armstrong had Cole McGrath trapped in a Billy Goat's Curse, which was actually a reverse Boston Crab. Cole was trying hard to escape from the submission hold, but with Tina pressing down on his back tightly, he couldn't escape.
Also grabbing onto his arms, Tina started to approach the turnbuckle with Cole still trapped in the submission.
Michael Cole: She's got that Billy Goat's Curse locked in nice and tight!
JBL: Yeah, but what is she doing with him?
Jerry Lawler: I'm looking to find out myself!
Lifting Cole up, Tina managed to use him as a swing.
One by one, she swung Cole's head around the lower pad of the right turnbuckle. The entire crowd in Miami all cheered for her loudly because of her amazing move. Cole was getting a little dazed and dizzy having his head hit the pad over and over again.
JBL: Wow! That's really impressive!
Jerry Lawler: Tina's definitely my favorite now!
However, her little submission move came to an end as Phoenix Wright hopped out of nowhere and nailed Tina with a Zig Zag!
Michael Cole: Zig Zag from Phoenix Wright!
Jerry Lawler: That move will definitely keep Tina down!
With both Tina and Cole down, Phoenix Wright went back to find Little Mac.
While that was going on, the Rumble clock lit up on the titantron, bringing in the next entrant.
JBL: Here comes number 10! I can't wait to see who it is!
10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!*
Entrant #10: Raphael Sorel (Soul Calibur)
As the buzzer sounded for the 10th time, a man dressed in a black pilgrim's hat, and decked in dark-teal armor appeared in the stage to a negative reaction.
It was all because he was showing off a little bit with his sword, the Flambert. [1]
Jerry Lawler: Oh, here's someone you probably didn't expect to see.
JBL: All right, Raphael from Soul Calibur's in here! What an excellent swordsman!
Michael Cole: Well, he does have some excellent moves with that sword of his.
Suddenly, Raphael decided to take his time getting to the ring by showing off a little more of his sword skills.
He swung his sword around in circles, bringing out an 'ooh' from the lovely ladies. They had a reason to scream and cheer for him more when Raphael handed one of the female fans at ringside a rose.
JBL: Look at that! Not also he's a fine swordsman, but he's excellent with the ladies!
Jerry Lawler: Oh, please! If he wanted to impress them, he should just get in the ring!
JBL: Raphael's just taking his time. Don't worry about him!
After putting his away his Flambert, Raphael finally decided to enter the ring.
As he got inside, he saw Tina Armstrong barely getting up from the Zig Zag. With a smirk, he came up behind her and clotheslined her over the top rope and onto the floor!
JBL: Oh, come on! That ain't fair!
Jerry Lawler: Oh no! Tina's out of there!
Michael Cole: Raphael nails his first elimination of the night!
4th Eliminated: Tina Armstrong; Eliminated by: Raphael Sorel; Eliminated: 6:31
After Tina's elimination, Raphael flashed his smile and checked himself out to a bunch of angry men in Miami and every screaming women. It was definitely a mixed reaction at best.
However, Raphael wasn't celebrating for long as Donkey Kong stood behind him. Apparently, he didn't like the fact that his friend was eliminated by a snarky Frenchman.
Jerry Lawler: Uh-oh, Raphael. Look who's standing right before you!
JBL: Raphael's gonna get peeled like a banana.
As Raphael turned around, Donkey Kong picked him up in a fireman's carry position and started spinning around the ring in a Airplane Spin.
Donkey Kong also used the move to knock everyone he saw coming from Psymon Stark to Little Mac, and from Phoenix Wright to Cole MacGrath (who sold out the move nicely with a nice 720 spin).
JBL: This ape's going bananas!
Jerry Lawler: I don't know how many times he spun him around!
Michael Cole: Your guess is as good as mine, King!
In Donkey Kong's math, he spun Raphael around the ring around 16 times.
Knowing that the frenchman was dizzy enough as it is, Donkey Kong managed to drop him with a Attitude Adjustment, John Cena-style!
Michael Cole: And he nails him with the Attitude Adjustment!
Jerry Lawler: *chuckling* So far, I only hope Raphael doesn't puke all over the ring!
Thankfully, as Raphael managed to hold on to his bile, the Rumble clock lit up once again. The rest of the Miami all took their attention at the stage to see who was entering entrant #11.
JBL: I'm excited for number 11? Who's it gonna be?
10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!*
Entrant #11: Steve (Minecraft)
With the buzzer sounding, a very blocky individual came out with his arms flapping over and over. Not to mention jumping up and down like a 80's video game character. Apparently, the fans down in Miami didn't know what to make about this guy.
And apparently, JBL didn't know what to make of him either.
JBL: *confused* Uh, what the hell am I seeing?
Michael Cole: Well, from the looks of things, that can only be Steve from Minecraft.
Jerry Lawler: Look at him move like a toy soldier! Talk about strange.
Just like Mario, Steve hopped over the ropes and started dropkicking away at Phoenix Wright over and over again.
Michael Cole: Wow, Steve's putting up a fight?
JBL: You mean to tell me that Lego wannabe is actually a fighter too?
Jerry Lawler: Like it or not, he is!
After those pair of dropkicks, Steve whipped Phoenix Wright to the ropes, only for the ace attorney to counter whip him.
Phoenix ducked down, trying to nail Steve with a back body drop, but Steve managed to counter back with a hard fisherman's suplex!
JBL: And Steve nails a Perfect-Plex! Shades of the late Mr. Perfect!
Jerry Lawler: I gotta admit, he's doing very great here!
After Steve was just getting up from that move, Psymon Stark snuck right behind him wrapping that singapore cane around his neck.
And then, he tripped Steve on his feet with the White Russian Leg Sweep! [2]
Michael Cole: Excellent White Russian Leg Sweep out of nowhere!
JBL: Well, that slowed him down.
Jerry Lawler: Sure as hell didn't slow down Psymon, that's for sure!
Meanwhile, while Steve was down and out, Cole, Little Mac and Raphael were teaming up to eliminate Donkey Kong from this match.
The three men did manage to get Donkey Kong off his feet, now all they needed to do was knock him off the apron. The crowd was also getting to it, shockingly cheering for Donkey Kong's elimination to happen.
JBL: Hey, is this what I think it is?
Jerry Lawler: There's no way that's happening. Donkey Kong's one big ape for sure.
Michael Cole: Hey, like in the WWE, anything can happen!
JBL: I'm with King on this one. You'll have to get an entire roster to get DK out of this match!
As much as the pushing and shoving worked, it definitely wasn't enough.
DK managed to swat both Cole and Raphael away, while shoving Little Mac into a good portion of the ring.
JBL: See, told ya! They couldn't do it. It can't be done!
However, as DK entered the ring, Little Mac leaped up in the air and nailed one big Superman Punch on DK's kisser, knocking him down for the moment!
Michael Cole: Superman Punch! Little Mac got him with the Superman Punch!
JBL: I'll be damned! Little Mac actually knocked down DK! I'm impressed!
The entire Detroit crowd got a huge pope from that move, bringing out chants of 'Little Mac' over and over again.
However, he didn't get a chance to enjoy the chants himself as Raphael Sorel got him with a Sleeper suplex.
Jerry Lawler: Well, talk about a buzzkill!
Michael Cole: Raphael Sorel with the sleeper suplex!
JBL: That nearly put him to sleep for sure.
While Raphael was having the boos fed to him (possibly by the male demographic), the clock lit up once more, anticipating the 12th entrant of the match.
Jerry Lawler: Anyway, we might as well find out who number 12 is!
10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!*
Entrant #12: Tommy Vercetti (Grand Theft Auto: Vice City)
As the buzzer sounded, a man dressed in a light blue Hawaiian shirt came from the entranceway. But he wasn't alone though. With him was a trusty baseball bat for extra weaponry.
To his surprise, the Miami crowd all shot up to their feet with a tremendous ovation, knowing that they were cheering for one of Miami's own.
Jerry Lawler: Oh man, here comes trouble!
JBL: Are you kidding me? That thug is actually competing in this Rumble? Please tell me, I'm dreaming!
Michael Cole: It's not a dream, John! Tommy Vercetti from GTA: Vice City is actually in this match!
JBL: Somebody get the police out here! That guy's a psycho!
Running down the aisle, Tommy Vercetti entered inside the ring feeling pissed off like an angry mobster.
Scoping the ring, he looked around trying to find the first opponent to beat up. To his luck, he found Steve at the left rope, trying hard to eliminate Cole MacGrath from this match. With a smirk on his face, Tommy ran up to Steve and kicked him right between his legs! Which was weird since Steve's legs were pretty much stuck together!
Michael Cole: Dear lord, he got him right between the legs!
JBL: Yeah, that would be enough to make you cry!
And then, as an insult to injury, Tommy started beating Steve down with his trusty baseball bat. It was almost like police brutality at its worst, as Tommy sent that bat slamming hard to Steve's back repeatedly.
He was hitting him with that baseball bat so hard, Steve couldn't manage to stand up from that hit. Luckily for him, Tommy wasn't thinking of killing him. In fact, Tommy wanted to make sure Steve left out of this Rumble a broken pixel.
Michael Cole: Oh man, I can't stand watching this!
Jerry Lawler: I really hate to be Steve right now!
JBL: Seriously? Where the hell is the police when you need them?
Jerry Lawler: Apparently John, they're not searching for a message with a bottle!
With Steve broken down in defeat, Tommy lifted him up by his head and talked smack to his face.
Tommy Vercetti: *to Steve* You're f*****g going out, ya p***k!
After all that was said and done, Tommy tossed his broken ass over the top rope and onto the floor, ending Steve's run in the Rumble this early.
Jerry Lawler: Oh, and look at this! Steve's out!
Michael Cole: I only pray that beating was only less brutal for sure!
5th Eliminated: Steve; Eliminated by: Tommy Vercetti; Eliminated: 1:32
As the entire group of ring officials started checking on Steve, Psymon Stark and Phoenix Wright were busy having a little test of strength.
It was neck and neck between the psychotic snowboarder and the Ace Attorney itself. It was almost like a bunch of football players tackling each other to see which one will go down and which one will stay up. It was growing tense between the two men here.
Psymon Stark: *to Phoenix, struggling* Your hair... looks like Sonic's hairy ass!
Phoenix Wright: *to Psymon, struggling* Don't you ever... trash my hair!
JBL: Well, looks like we've got some beef going here!
Jerry Lawler: It's so tense between them, I don't see an order in the court going around here!
Suddenly, their little test of strength ended when Tommy sent that baseball bat between Phoenix's legs, sending the crowd to cringe in pain.
Michael Cole: Oh, geez-!
Jerry Lawler: As if Phoenix Wright didn't get enough nut shots for today!
As Phoenix Wright held onto his balls in pain, Tommy took the bat and wrapped it around his legs.
To make matters worse, Tommy lifted Phoenix up and slammed him with a teardrop suplex!
Michael Cole: And he follows it with a hard teardrop suplex!
JBL: Somebody better find an ice pack for Phoenix soon!
Tommy Vercetti: *to Phoenix* Call me 'guilty' on that, ya f*****g douchebag!
Meanwhile, as Tommy kept on taunting Phoenix, Cole finally began to fight back as he got Donkey Kong with a sleeper hold.
Cole kept pressing on that submission hold as long as he could. DK even tried to shake Cole off to the best of his ability, but Cole successfully managed to hang on to the brown ape himself!
Jerry Lawler: Check this out!
JBL: I can't believe he's thinking of choking Donkey Kong out!
Michael Cole: Can't blame him for trying! But it looks like it seems to work!
To add on the pain train, Raphael was delievering roundhouse kicks to DK's chest, sending him down to his knees already.
With no response, DK was finally passed out from the sleeper. The crowd responded with quite a mixed reaction, although it was mostly cheers on Cole's side.
JBL: I don't believe this! They actually got DK down!
Jerry Lawler: You think they're gonna try to throw him out this time?
JBL: I doubt it! DK is as big as two taxis. I'm pretty sure Donkey Kong ate them.
With Donkey Kong passed out, Cole and Raphael tried to lift DK up to the ropes in order to eliminate him.
Meanwhile, Psymon Stark and Tommy Vercetti were trying to get Little Mac out on the turnbuckles, while Raphael Sorel had his hands full with Phoenix Wright. It was about to get way more interesting when the Rumble clock lit up, therefore bringing in another entrant for the match.
Michael Cole: Here's comes lucky number 13 on the way!
10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!*
Entrant #13. Paul Phoenix (Tekken)
As the buzzer sounded, a huge muscle man dressed in a red karate gi appeared before 20,000 fans here in Miami.
He looked a bit like Ken, except that his hair was sticking out like an eraser. Cracking his knuckles, he flexed for the screaming fans right before he walked down that aisle with determination that only he could possess.
Jerry Lawler: Hey, Paul Phoenix is here!
Michael Cole: One of the original characters from the Tekken video game!
JBL: Hard to believe he hasn't aged a lot. I wonder if he'll have a lot of rust in him?
Jerry Lawler: Either way, I'm willing to find out!
To be continued next chapter...
Yeah, that'll have to wait until next chapter, Paul Phoenix. Anyway, let's see what stats we have now:
Eliminated: Wario, Dan Hibiki, Hugo, Tina Armstrong and Steve
Still in the ring: Cole MacGrath, Donkey Kong, Little Mac, Phoenix Wright, Psymon Stark, Paul Phoenix, Raphael Sorel and Tommy Vercetti
Entrants in the ring: 6
Entrants still left to go: 37
[1] - Flambert is Raphael's sword from the Soul Calibur games.
[2] - White Russian Leg Sweep is a finishing move used by ECW Original, The Sandman.
Anyway, is Paul Phoenix gonna rock this house down?
Is Tommy Vercetti this insane?
Will Phoenix Wright's balls still ever be the same again?
Either way, I can't tell ya. You'll have to find out till next chapter. Until then, OPA!