"Video Game Royal Rumble"
Rated T for mild language and violence
Disclaimer: I do not own anything (especially the characters themselves) associated with Nintendo, Sega, Sony, Microsoft, Capcom, SNK, Marvel, DC, Rockstar, Activision, etc.
P.S.: I also like to thank TheExtremeBrony for inspiring me to do this idea.
Chapter 6: A Very Sly Rumble
Running down the aisle like an angry bull, Paul got in the ring and started cleaning house right away.
He officially started off with a double clothesline to Tommy Vercetti and Psymon Stark, followed by a big boot to face on Cole MacGrath!
Jerry Lawler: Look at this! Paul's firing away!
Michael Cole: He's definitely cleaning house at the moment.
His next face off was against Donkey Kong.
As DK threw out a punch, Paul managed to catch his fist and turn the monkey over with a judo hip toss!
JBL: I can't believe this!
Jerry Lawler: He just took him down that easily!
Holding Donkey Kong by his arm, Paul decided to trap him by his neck, connecting with Hell's Gate! [1]
The crowd was on their feet for Paul Phoenix as he locked it in tight. The pain was getting to DK's neck as he was moments away from passing out. Paul was totally on a roll here, and taking Donkey Kong out of this match once and for all would definitely get his stock up.
JBL: DK's passing out! This is unbelievable!
Michael Cole: Donkey Kong's in danger of going out here!
Jerry Lawler: Yeah, and even though submissions don't count, having to make DK pass out is definitely a wise idea!
However, some of Donkey Kong's loyal fans started cheering him on.
While he was still trapped in the submission hold, Donkey Kong managed to get back up on his feet. And after taking one deep breath, DK grabbed Paul Phoenix by the legs and miraculously muscled him way up in a Powerbomb hold!
Jerry Lawler: Wow! Check that out!
JBL: Ohhh, Paul Phoenix is in trouble now!
However, before DK could ever powerbomb him, Raphael Sorel managed to clip DK right in the knee, sending both the spiky-haired karate master and brown-furred gorilla down! That sent a lot of boos coming from Miami for sure.
Michael Cole: Oh, and Raphael Sorel clips the knee!
Jerry Lawler: That definitely won't win fans over, that's for sure.
JBL: He doesn't care about the fans. He just wants to win.
The King was right. Raphael's little move definitely raised a lot of hatred over the fans, especially when he bowed to him. He just couldnt get enough of the hate he was getting.
But it was all turned to cheers when Little Mac tapped the frenchman on the shoulder...
...
...
...and knocked him the hell out with a Knockout Punch!
Michael Cole: Dear lord, what a blow!
Jerry Lawler: That's gotta send Raphael's jaw flying!
With Raphael already knocked unconscious, Little Mac managed to lift up his body and send him tumbling over the ropes and onto the floor.
The crowd immediately broke out in a huge pop for that.
JBL: Oh, this is just great! Raphael's out of there!
Jerry Lawler: Yeah, and just about time too!
6th Eliminated: Raphael Sorel; Eliminated by: Little Mac; Duration: 3:50
Meanwhile, while the referees were checking on Raphael Sorel, Psymon Stark was being ganged up on by Cole and Phoenix. The bike messenger and ace attorney were pushing hard and mighty to get the erratic snowboarding freak out of this match.
At the same time, the crowd was anticipating to see number 14 make his way at ringside.
Michael Cole: Number 14's coming out. Let's see who it is!
10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!*
Entrant #14: Waluigi
As the buzzer sounded for the 14th time, a tall, skinny plumber resembling Luigi came out.
However, unlike Luigi, this man was sporting a purple hat, a purple long-sleeved shirt and dark blue suspenders. Not to mention the "L" on the top of his hat was upside down. Like his good friend Wario, he too also got a case of the boos (not a Mario reference).
Jerry Lawler: *bored* Oh no, not this guy...
JBL: *feeling cheerful* Hey, don't be down! It's one of my favorites! A huge crowd-pleaser!
Michael Cole: Here comes Wario's partner-in-crime, Waluigi. Unfortunately, JBL, he isn't feeling the love as well.
JBL: *to Michael Cole* I'm telling ya, it's jealousy. You should be proud that we have a real Royal Rumble winner in the making!
As Psymon finally kicked both Cole and Phoenix away, he saw Waluigi come in the ring and run right after him.
Seeing this first-hand, Psymon managed to lift Waluigi up over the ropes and dumped him in the floor! Waluigi's fast and shocking elimination brought out huge laughs from the crowd for that one (mostly because they were laughing at Waluigi of how stupid he was).
JBL: *whining* Oh, come on!
Jerry Lawler: *chuckling* Uh-oh, Waluigi is 'a-gone'!
JBL: This isn't fair! Waluigi didn't get himself ready.
Michael Cole: He's out faster than he got in!
7th Eliminated: Waluigi; Eliminated by: Psymon Stark; Duration: 0:03
Waluigi was shocked that he was tossed out of this match early. The ring officials were telling him to go to the back, but Waluigi still wouldn't move.
Instead, Waluigi threw a fit and started kicking everything in sight, including the steel steps.
Jerry Lawler: What a sore loser.
JBL: It's all Psymon's fault! Waluigi didn't get himself ready yet!
Michael Cole: What's done is done, JBL. There are no second chances!
JBL: There should be! It's not fair!
The ring officials once again tried to calm the situation down, but nothing was getting to Waluigi. He was as furious as he could ever be.
But things got too far when Waluigi struck referee Charles Robinson right in the face!
Michael Cole: Wha-hey, come on now!
Jerry Lawler: What was that for?
JBL: He just struck Charles Robinson in the face!
Michael Cole: He's taking things too far here!
The referees tried to stop him, but apparently, they got struck in the face as well by Waluigi's fist.
However, Waluigi went from 'way too far' from 'way over the line' when he raced over to the announcer's table and speared Jerry Lawler! And then it was followed by punches to the face.
Michael Cole: What the hell's wrong with you! Stop this!
JBL: Somebody get some help around here! Waluigi is a menace!
Michael Cole: Where's the security?!
Referees were trying hard to latch Waluigi off of Jerry Lawler, but he kept on punching him and punching him until Lawler was officially knocked out. The boos increased with every hit Waluigi gave to the King, who was now officially knocked out. The rest of the competitors all stopped fighting in the ring, looking on at a furious Waluigi from nearly destroying the announce team.
Security finally had enough of Waluigi's bullcrap, so they tackled him to the ground, finally latching him off of the King. But unfortunately, the damage was already done by that time.
JBL: It's about damn time somebody got that freak off of him.
Jerry Lawler: John, King's already out.
JBL: Don't you think I know that about now?!
With their combined strength, the entire security team dragged Waluigi around the ring and right up the entrance ramp while he struggled to break free. The doctors managed to respond quickly by checking on an already conscious Jerry Lawler.
However, while Waluigi was being flooded by a huge tsunami of boos, the Rumble clock lit up on the titantron, which made way for the next entrant to appear.
Michael Cole: While the doctors are checking on King, let's see who got number 15.
10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!*
Entrant #15: Sly Cooper
As the buzzer sounded, a raccoon with a blue elbow-sleeved shirt with a yellow collar, blue boots, blue gloves with yellow cuffs, and a blue cap appeared on the entrance way. Also with him was his signature cane that he uses for weaponry.
Suddenly, Sly was met with a surprising ovation from these Miami fans.
JBL: Oh great, first we got Tommy Vercetti and now we have this little pest?!
Jerry Lawler: That ain't no 'little pest', that's legendary thief Sly Cooper!
Michael Cole: Definitely one of the favorites to win for sure with his quickness.
JBL: Heh, I doubt it.
While he was coming down the ramp, he noticed Waluigi walking up to him with the ring officials.
With a smirk on his face, Sly swung his cane and cracked Waluigi hard, knocking the evil plumber down. Everyone inside the AA arena were finally excited that Waluigi had karma come to him!
Jerry Lawler: All right! Some karma right there.
JBL: Well, you could say he didn't deserve it, but that maniac deserved it.
Michael Cole: Got that right.
With Waluigi knocked out on the floor, Sly Cooper decided to refocus on the competitors in the ring.
As he rushed down the aisle, he entered the ring to see Tommy Vercetti swinging at him with a baseball bat. Using his quickness, Sly managed to block the hit with his cane, followed by a cane shot to Tommy's ribs and another cane shot on the back.
Jerry Lawler: Wow! Look at Sly go with that cane!
Michael Cole: Definitely his trusty companion for sure!
Sly's next target was Phoenix Wright.
As the ace attorney tried to strike him, Sly connected with a cane shot to the ribs and sent the cane swinging right between Phoenix's legs. The entire fans cringed in pain and horror seeing this scene with their own eyes.
Michael Cole: Oh, Geez-!
JBL: Ah man, hasn't Phoenix Wright suffered enough shots to the groin now?!
Jerry Lawler: Phoenix's voice is gonna be so high, he's gonna sound like a Bee Gee!
However, Sly Cooper wasn't done with him yet.
While Phoenix's nuts were still recovering, Sly sent the cane into his groin again, but this time, he used the cane as a pony to send Phoenix Wright bouncing up and down. This was one painful ride Phoenix Wright wished he would never take, but did anyway. While Sly was still bouncing Mr. Wright, the crowd all counted every ride that Phoenix was taking. So far, Sly was bouncing him around 16 times!
JBL: I'm about to feel really bad for Phoenix Wright.
Jerry Lawler: I don't know whats making him suffer, those groin shots or the fact he's riding on a cane?
Michael Cole: I'd probably say all of the above for sure.
Meanwhile, as Sly was still giving Phoenix the ride of his life, Little Mac was at the ropes, pummeling Paul Phoenix down with boxing shots to the ribs.
Little Mac went fast, trying to tenderize Paul's ribs like pure grade-A meat.
Jerry Lawler: Hey, look at Little Mac go!
Michael Cole: He's definitely taking it to Paul Phoenix here!
JBL: I'm really liking this kid! He's like Manny Pacquiao, only a bit smaller!
With Paul Phoenix feeling a little groggy, Little Mac winded up his arm, about to knock out Paul Phoenix out of this rumble with one punch.
But before Little Mac could punch him, Cole MacGrath snuck up behind him and tugged Mac's shorts way up, forcing the bike messenger to send Mac over Paul Phoenix's head and onto the floor. Little Mac's unexpected elimination was soon met with a mixed reaction, even though it was mostly cheers than boos.
JBL: Well, that definitely didn't help.
Jerry Lawler: Aw man, Little Mac's gone.
Michael Cole: Little Mac put up a fight, but it wasn't enough to get him all the way.
8th Elimination: Little Mac; Eliminated by: Cole MacGrath; Duration: 6:49
As Little Mac stood up in total disappointment, he left ringside feeling a bit dejected. But at least he had a standing ovation for his effort in the Rumble.
As the carnage continued, the Rumble clock lit up, bringing in another entrant from the Rumble.
JBL: All right! Here comes number sweet 16! I can't wait for this!
10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!*
Entrant #16: Guile (Street Fighter)
As the buzzer sounded for the 16th time, Guile's theme song from Street Fighter lit up around the AA Arena, sending the crowd into a total frenzy. And just to add excitement, the crowd started singing along with the music as well.
The cheers then erupted as a muscular man with a green skin-tight wifebeater, camo pants, brown boots, and tornado-shaped hair came through the curtain. He smiled at his loyal fans, being appreciated by this crowd.
Jerry Lawler: Oh man, is this full of surprises!
Michael Cole: A true fan favorite from the "Street Fighter" universe! Here comes Guile!
JBL: Look at this crowd! I never seen anyone with a huge fanbase as Guile!
After combing his signature hair, Guile rushed down the aisle.
But as he got inside the ring, Psymon Stark ganged on him and started beating him down with his fists like a madman. It was perhaps the smartest move he ever thought of.
Michael Cole: And Psymon starts firing away at him head-on!
JBL: I know he may be a freak, but he's finally using his brain for once!
After he successfully managed to beat Guile down, Psymon whipped him to the ropes and tried to whip him with a leaping side kick, but Guile managed to duck down. And when Guile ran back to the freak, he leaped up and hit him with a flying forearm!
Michael Cole: Flying forearm to the face!
Jerry Lawler: Guile's cleaning house so far!
Cole MacGrath tried to surprise him with a running dropkick, but Guile managed to move out of the way.
And when Cole ran up to Guile, the 'family man' surprised him with a fancy tilt-o-whirl backbreaker for good measure!
Jerry Lawler: And Cole MacGrath eats it as well!
JBL: It's not like they're even trying to get this man!
As Guile began looking for another contestant to fight, Tommy Vercetti was at the lower left turnbuckle, putting his foot in Donkey Kong's mouth.
The tighter Tommy started pressing on that foot, the harder it was for Donkey Kong to breathe. The ape was still having trouble trying to keep his feet on the ground for sure.
Michael Cole: DK's feeling a little foot-in-mouth disease right there!
JBL: Great, I didn't know Tommy Vercetti was such an animal abuser.
Jerry Lawler: Yeah. It makes me realize why we didn't put a disclaimer at the beginning of the show.
Suddenly, the crowd began to rally behind Donkey Kong, which started to work.
Using his large hand, Donkey Kong managed to latch onto Tommy's foot while the ape started to get up on the turnbuckle. It took pretty much 20 seconds to get up, but nevertheless, it was worth it as DK's strength managed to push the Miami mobster away.
Michael Cole: What power by Donkey Kong!
JBL: Nice try, Vercetti, but it didn't work!
As Tommy got up and approached DK once again, the big ape took a big swing and slugged Vercetti right in the mouth!
The impact was so brutal that it sent Tommy flying to the other turnbuckle, and flying into Phoenix Wright! It was so insane that the crowd broke out in a 'Holy S**t' chant! They never imagined Tommy flying throughout a good portion of the ring! Even JBL was speechless!
Jerry Lawler: *chuckling* Ahh, oh my god!
Michael Cole: You gotta be kidding me!
JBL: That frickin' ape just punched Vercetti over to the turnbuckle!
Jerry Lawler: He nearly hit him like a baseball going over the field!
Tommy Vercetti was practically flat-out dead from that impact (not totally dead, just knocked out). With Vercetti unconscious, Donkey Kong tried his best to get Tommy Vercetti's body over the top rope and onto the floor.
Meanwhile, Guile had Psymon Stark trapped in a headlock, while Sly Cooper had Cole MacGrath trapped in a crossface with the cane wrapped around Cole's neck. While it was mostly a submission frenzy, the rest of the crowd grew patient, setting their eyes at the entrance stage and awaiting number 17's entry into the Rumble!
Jerry Lawler: We have number 17 coming right up! I bet it's someone good!
10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!*
Entrant #17: Morrigan Aensland (Darkstalkers)
With the buzzer sounding, a beautiful young woman with long sea-green hair had appeared. Her clothing was definitely clad at best, wearing a sleeveless black bustier-like top adorned with white feathers and a small heart cut out of the midriff, not to forget purple nylons emblazoned with bat patterns, black boots, and conspicuous batlike wings protruding from her back and the sides of her head.
Her entrance was something else at best as she was sitting on her family of bats. They managed to keep her afloat while being entranced by a group of male fans for enjoyment.
Jerry Lawler: Wow, we got even more puppies! I'm feeling excited!
JBL: You should be! We got Morrigan from "Darkstalkers"!
Michael Cole: *distracted by Morrigan's cleavage* That's some very surprising attire for Morrigan, I'll tell ya that!
JBL: *chuckling* I can't wait to see what she does! I'm feeling a little stiff now!
Looking over to the ring from the entranceway, Morrigan gave out one tongue-licking smirk at the contestants.
Morrigan Aensland: *acting seductive* Well, boys... looks like it's time to play...
To be continued next chapter...
Sorry fanboys, the hot action with Morrigan will have to wait until next chapter. Anyway, here's the stats:
Eliminated: Wario, Dan Hibiki, Hugo, Tina Armstrong, Steve, Raphael Sorel, Waluigi and Little Mac
Still in the ring: Cole MacGrath, Donkey Kong, Guile, Morrigan Aensland, Phoenix Wright, Psymon Stark, Paul Phoenix, Sly Cooper and Tommy Vercetti
Entrants in the ring: 9
Entrants still left to go: 33
[1] - Hell's Gate is one of Undertaker's submission move. It's also better known as a Gogoplata.
Is Phoenix Wright gonna continue to move on with these groin shots?
Is Psymon still gonna go crazy?
Is Sly Cooper gonna stay cane-crazy for the rest of the Rumble?
And why are we dreaming of Morrigan's hot cleavage?
Whatever the case may be, next chapter's gonna be interesting. Anyway, it's shower time. HOLLA!