Shepard woke up, slowly. As light poured into her eyes, feeling slowly came to her limbs. And everything hurt. Every joint ached, every bone felt bruised, every muscle was tight. Her face felt like it was splitting apart, every movement of her features feeling like a fresh wound was being pulled at.
"—pard! Shepard!"
It was the voice from before. One of them at least. Things were fuzzy, but that moment of consciousness stuck out to her.
"What's going on?" she slurred, "Where am I?"
The woman's answer was barely heard, Shepard still trying to process what was going on. "Weapons and Armor!" That was all Shepard heard. But that was enough.
She got up, and went to the locker. Vision still blurry, she strapped on the armor as quick as she could. "Hurry, Shepard!" the voice said.
Shepard scowled, and tightened the strap on her vambrace, grunting in pain. "عَلَى رِسْلِك (Ala ris-lik)" she muttered.
"What was that?" the woman snapped.
"I said calm down! I can't just teleport armor onto my body," Jane said. She pulled on the strap for her chest, tightening it against her chest, and she groaned as her collarbone protested with a nasty spike of pain. For a moment, she hesitated. She'd spoken Arabic… she hadn't done that in years. Sometimes she wondered if she even was still fluent.
That was, however, an irrelevant issue. Not unlike wondering where in the galaxy she even was. If there were hostiles out to get her, then they needed to be handled before any other questions mattered. She picked up the pistol and frowned.
It was one of the new kinds of pistols, the ones hitting the markets after Geth guns had been reverse-engineered. Meaning it hit harder with every shot, but it would destroy an omni-gel heat sink, and worse, the gun wasn't even loaded with one of the new disposable clips. "This pistol doesn't have a thermal clip. Damn it, why do you even have these?"
"A reload is faster than wasting precious time on a cooldown, Shepard! There are some clips nearby! Now get going!"
Jane decided right then that whoever the woman was, she didn't like her. Not one bit.
She moved into cover, and took aim at the mechs lumbering her way. They looked advanced, with movements that were almost fluid, and an aim and reaction speed that were better than her own.
Cutting edge mechs… Designed for basic security?
Something about that seemed off. They clearly weren't military-grade, not from the cheap materials that gave way to her pistol, or from the unnetworked and tacticsless VI that helpfully announced what it was doing. But the base tech itself made Jane curious — she was a soldier through and through, not an engineer, but she knew enough from her time fighting Geth to recognize quality robotics compared to the basic homunculi guarding Citadel warehouses.
Jane climbed the small set of stairs in front of her, and stopped in her tracks as she saw the massive mech through the glass. The people on the other side, there was no saving them. Jane frowned and uttered, "رَحِمَهُ ٱللّٰهُ (Rahimahullah)," before looking at herself in confusion. She couldn't ruminate at the strange outburst for too long before she was startled by the rocket hitting the glass. Seeing the blood seeping into the cracks, Jane sighed.
"I don't know what made me say it… but I meant it," she said aloud, speaking to the corpses past the glass.
Then she moved forward, and saw a man hurl a biotic blast at mechs across a chasm. He peaked from cover only for a round to glance off the railing.
Suddenly, Shepard wasn't on the station anymore. She wasn't 29 going on 30, about to fight mechs head on. Instead she was 16 going on 17, stumbling through smoke and debris. She didn't see the unknown man hiding behind a glass rail, she saw her Uncle Ahmed crouched behind a crate. He peaked up, only for a round from a batarian gun to glance off the crate. He ducked back down, and saw her tripping as she called out to him.
Her uncle held up his hand. "Non! Laisse!" he screamed, and she stopped in her tracks. A grenade went off beside him, and her eyes went wide. But then she was back in the strange station.
She shook herself out of what she hoped was only a fraction of a second's pause. Then Jane was running into cover beside the man who looked only tangentially like her long-dead Uncle Ahmed, her father's entirely unrelated fishing buddy.
"—doing here? I thought you were still a work in progress?"
Shepard realized Jacob was talking. "Are you with Miranda?"
"Yeah. Sorry, I forgot this all new to you right now. I'm Jacob Taylor, I've been stationed here for— Damn it!" He took a shot at the mechs, and Shepard readied her own weapon.
"We can talk after we kill these things!" she said, popping out of cover to plant two headshots in quick succession.
"No arguments, here!" said Taylor, and Jane decided she liked him. The fight was brief, with Jacob lifting the mechs up for her to blast. Her aim wasn't as steady as she was used to, but she chalked it up to whatever drugs were still in her system, or whatever surgeries must have been performed while she was under.
"Alright. What do you wanna know?"
That was a loaded question. Jane hesitated. What was most important?
"Where are we? This doesn't look like an Alliance base, or like any civilian hospital. Gravity doesn't feel natural either," she said, relying on every skill she'd developed as a warrior. "A space station?"
Jacob looked surprised. "Er… Yeah. This a C— Er, we're Project Lazarus. This facility is a specially designed station."
"For what purpose?"
"Just one: you."
"Me? I… The last thing I remember before waking up here was the Normandy being destroyed. I… Merde, I was spaced!" She looked around a bit. "So this is a medical facility? Just for me? Your ship must have been close by if you got to me in time…"
Jacob fidgeted a bit. "Actually, Commander… We weren't. We were there fast but… Well we scooped you up planetside. When I first saw you, you were just meat and tubes. You were dead, Commander. Project Lazarus brought you back."
Jane felt her stomach drop. "What? That isn't possible."
"I saw it happen, Commander. When we find Miranda, maybe she can show you harder proof than my word."
Back from the dead. There was a creeping panic in her gut, but Jane forced it down. Now wasn't the time. "Am I… a clone?"
"They wanted to bring you back just as you were. I'm pretty sure you're not a clone."
The answer was non-committal, devoid of information. Jacob clearly wasn't a scientist. He probably didn't know the details, he just did his job. And on that…
"Fine… I'll worry about my resurrection later. What's the situation on the station? Hostiles, straggling scientists, what are we looking at? And for that matter, Taylor, how do you fit into this?" Her words were clipped and direct, a commander of soldiers in the field. Jacob responded in kind.
"I'm head of security on this station. Woke up today and someone hacked our mechs. Had to be an inside job. Anyone still alive would be heading to the shuttles."
"Then let's move, Taylor."
"Did you have to shoot him in the head?" Jane let out, neither disturbed nor disgusted. She was more annoyed. Wilson's motivations, any possible accomplices, his methods, the timespan in which he planned and executed his scheme. All of it died with him. "You can't get information out of a dead man."
Miranda gave her a confused look before shrugging. Whatever she said, Jane wasn't really listening. With the shuttle dead ahead, and the traitor uncovered, her mind was drifting back to a few key facts.
She had died. She was dead. And now she wasn't. That was not supposed to happen. Scientists, theologians, philosophers, warriors, everyone was in agreement on that one. What died was supposed to stay dead, and if it didn't then it never came back as what it used to be. Husks, Thorian Creepers, Frankenstein's monster — if it rose from the grave it changed, an abomination that could not be considered the same as what had died.
So what the fucking Hell am I now?
"Shepard?"
Jane snapped her focus forward. "We should make sure no survivors are left."
"Shepard, this is the only way off this station. If they were alive, they'd be here. And what matters—"
"What matters are human lives. You won't leave without me. I'm not leaving without a full sweep. What areas haven't we been through?"
Miranda frowned, and it inevitably turned into a sneer.
Maybe that's her face, not her.
Jacob turned to Shepard. "There's still the neurology lab. It's fairly separated from the rest of the base. The entrance is over there, but we'll be going past the main storage room. No telling how many mechs could be waiting to swarm out of there."
"Which is why it's a foolish idea," Miranda snapped.
"Let me be clear, Miranda. This is not an All for One situation. It's One for All. We will get everyone out we can."
And then they were off. The door opened after Miranda hacked it reluctantly, revealing an empty corridor. Jane took point, stepping slowly. "Tell me, Lawson; how much did it cost Cerberus to bring me back?"
"I didn't handle the finances. We got the job done. The Illusive Man gave us what we needed. Last estimates had us reach nearly 5 billion credits."
Jane snorted. "Surprisingly low price to play God. No, play Messiah."
Whatever smug reply was on Miranda's tongue died as a door opened. "Mechs!"
Eight LOKI mechs shuffled into view. "Hostiles Detected," they proclaimed in unison. The unnatural ring of their voice sent a shiver up Shepard's spine.
"Taylor, Lift!" she ordered, "Miranda?" she added, uncertain of the woman's abilities.
"On it," was her clipped reply, and she joined Jacob in sending the mechs into disarray, the half not sent up by Jacob being slammed down by her own power.
Jane took aim, and her pistol fired, each shot finding a mech not yet destroyed. One particle smashed through the head of the mech on the left, another through the chest of one floating in the air. Jane kept firing, until her clip burned bright and required ejection. She popped the heat sink, and five more bullets rendered the remaining mechs into scrap.
These do hit harder, no cooldown… You're winning me over, gun.
"Shepard this is pointless. We're barely inside and look how many mechs we already had to take down. These scientists didn't even have weapons, let alone the training to—"
"Quiet… I hear something." Jane did hear something, but it was also satisfying to cut Miranda off.
They approached a door, metal but hinged, and voices poured out. There was a sign that marked the room as a storage closet.
"Michael! Stop!" came an older woman's voice.
A second woman, clearly in the midst of a sob, cried out, "They're going to send rescue!"
"Yes! YES! THEY WILL! So we have to survive until they get here! We have food! Rations! But not enough for THREE! But just enough for TWO!" roared a male voice, manic and frantic.
Jane's eyes widened. She gave her companions a look and gestured to cover the door. Miranda went left, Jacob right, and Shepard readied to kick the door.
Then the world shifted, and she was on Mindoir, banging on a door, trying to get in as she heard the Batarians marching down the street. Chest heaving, mind racing, she finally picked up her foot and kicked the door down.
"NO!" came a scream, breaking Shepard from her memory. Jane kicked the door, but the crack of her boot hitting the metal was drowned out by the gunshot echoing in the moderately small room.
The handgun was wielded by a scrawny man who looked panicked, arm limp from being unused to recoil. Shepard had entered just in time to witness the mass effect accelerated particle leave the barrel of the gun and enter an old woman's face. The close range sent a hole the size of a fist through her skull and brain matter. The gore hit the shelves behind her, and she dropped limp. A portly woman cowering the corner screamed. The man, 'Michael' whipped around, and tried to raise the gun at Jane.
He never had the chance.
Miranda shoved past Jane, and fired her gun twice, and both shots hit Michael's chest. He fell to the floor, dead before he even heard the gun. The woman in the corner screamed again.
Jane scowled at Miranda and grabbed her wrist, throwing the woman's arm down. "Stop shooting unless I tell you to shoot," she growled.
Miranda jerked her arm out of Jane's grasp. "All due respect, commander, I am not letting 2 years of my life become wasted by some deranged lab tech."
Jane opened her mouth to retort, when she heard a louder sob cut through the air. Ignoring Miranda for a moment, she approached the woman slowly. "Hey… hey, it's alright. It's over."
"H-he k-k-killed her! And then… and then and then and then," the woman sputtered, hyperventilating.
"Shhhh, it's OK now," Jane said, and she kneeled down. Her hands found the woman's face, mottled mauve and covered in snot and tears. "You're to be safe now. You're coming with us. What is your name?"
The woman looked startled, frightened even, as she looked into Jane's face. There was an odd red glow that Jane didn't know the source of. But her voice seemed to soothe.
"K-k-kathy. Kathy Ulvig." She was overweight, though not obese, with her hair in a braid. It was a sickly white-yellow, like it was stained, and it was frazzled and full of split-ends. But her large brown eyes were kind, and she had an air of innocence.
"You don't have to be afraid of me, Kathy. I'm here to help. Do you believe me?" The woman hesitated, but gave a slow nod, eyes flickering and recognizing Miranda and Jacob behind her. "Let's get you up, Kathy. So we can get you safe." Jane was careful, moving the woman up as gently as she could.
She moved Kathy out of the room, using her arm to turn the woman away from the gorey mess on one side. Jane looked at Miranda. "Now we can leave."
They left Kathy on the other side of the shuttle, wrapped in a blanket and falling asleep with the aid of some medication in the shuttle's first aid kit. The three gathered on the opposite seats, letting the woman rest.
Miranda looked at Jane, clearly unhappy.
"What?"
"It's just… Clearly we need to run some more tests, make sure everything is developing properly."
Jacob sighed, "Miranda, it's fine. You and I both just saw the Commander in action. Her combat skills are certainly on point."
"Yes but… It's been two years since the attack. The Illusive Man needs to know if Shepard's personality and memory are intact. We'll just ask a few questions."
Two years… I've missed two years. The galaxy just spinning on by.
Jane cut in. "Fine. Just… let's get it over with."
Miranda nodded. Jacon just sighed again. "OK," he said, "records show you were a colonist. Lost your parents at sixteen in an attack. Enlisted soon afterward. You led Alliances forces against enemy forces, most notably on Torfan. Do you remember fighting batarian slavers?"
Jane clenched her jaw. "I did what I had to do. Mindoir, Elysium, they were unprovoked attacks, disrespect of sovereignty tied into a test of our resolve. The batarians had proof that the Council wouldn't intervene, so we had to show that we could do more than hold our own. They had to see that whatever force they offered, we would return in kind and more. I lost good men, sent too many to meet their maker. But that was what was asked of us."
Jacob nodded, "You got the job done. That's all that matters. Satisfied, Miranda?"
"Almost. Let's try something more recent," said Miranda. "Virmire, where you destroyed Saren's cloning facility. You had to leave one of your squad behind to die in the blast."
"Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams was killed in action. It was your call. Why did you make that decision?"
Mirands cut in, "And please, give us your exact reasoning, rational and emotional. Why did you let Williams die?"
Jane glared. "Are you trying to imply something, Lawson? I sent a soldier—a friend—to her death and I did not do so happily. Nor did any of my feelings towards Lieutenant Alenko factor in. The bomb was paramount, we had to make sure it wasn't sabotaged or damaged. And as much as Kaidan is a noble soldier, I knew his feelings for me were interfering with his priorities."
"But you knew that applied to Williams as well. It doesn't take a genius to see that a death in battle was desirable for her, to recover her familial honor—"
Jane growled. "I knew that, Miranda. Ash… Ash's willingness for sacrifice wasn't rational, but she was a soldier through and through. She wouldn't put mission-critical objectives in jeopardy for a glorious death. But Kaidan would for someone he cared about. I let Ash have the good death she wanted, but the mission came first. And I don't need some silicone-filled scientist telling me that I didn't think long enough on which friend to leave to die in atomic fire!"
Jacob just gave Miranda a smug look. "Commander, make no mistake—everyone in Cerberus knows that base had to be destroyed. And we don't question your decision. Miranda?"
The woman hesitated but sighed. "Of course not. I just need to be sure your personality, your morals, are all still there. That was our end goal, not just physical revival. One last question; during Sovereign's attack on the Citadel, you ordered the Alliance fleet to save the Destiny Ascension: what happened after that?"
"They were grateful, and Humanity was given a seat on the Council. I told them I thought Udina would do well, but only if Captain Anderson felt himself unfit for the job."
"That matches what we know. Councilor Udina has been… aggressive as an advocate for Humanity. But your personal patronage to Anderson as your first choice saw him promoted to Rear Admiral," Jacob added helpfully.
Miranda leaned back in her seat. "Well… It all seems to be there. Memory, morals, combat ability…"
Jacob shook his head. "Miranda it is all there. Any… peculiarities aren't that big a deal."
"They are a 'big deal', Jacob. Just not one we can worry about right now."
Jane raised an eyebrow and folded her arms, armor pieces clacking. "What are you two referring to? What 'peculiarities?'"
"Just the… accent," Jacob said.
Miranda shook her head. "It's not an accent, Jacob. You may have your translator on, but I turned mine off to be sure."
"Could you two just give me a straight answer?"
Miranda settled her eyes firmly on Jane, her eyes full of worry, suspicion, and uncertainty. "Shepard. You're speaking French right now."
[A/N]: Much happier with chapter, and now the subtle but pertinent changes to Shepard's personality are appearing. This story is a hodge podge of a lot of ideas, as I said in Chapter 1. At that start here, my development of Mindoir is going to weigh heavily as Jane deals with death and resurrection.