By becoming an abuser, someone who has been abused can play the role of the more powerful person in the relationship in an attempt to overcome the powerlessness they felt when they were being abused. Unfortunately, this is not effective, and they may repeatedly dominate others in a futile attempt to get over the weakness they experienced as a victim.

-Elizabeth Hartney, PhD - from the article The Cycle of Sexual Abuse and Abusive Adult Relationships

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Chapter Nine

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{o}-{o}-{o}

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Mox was not surprised when Seth's reaction to the announcement that Alexa was going to be staying with them for awhile was a cautious "Okay." Nor was he surprised the next day, when they were headed to work, Alexa back at the house, that Seth brought it up again.

"Mox, uh, I was thinking."

"That was your first mistake," Mox quipped.

"Ha ha," Seth said, in a tone that indicated he was anything but amused. "You said you knew Alexa before you came here. At first I thought she'd been one of the students in the teen group, but she looks young. She looks like she could still be in the teen sessions to be honest, and that worries me too."

Seth wasn't the only one worried about the age thing. Mox didn't know how young she had been when he met her, and he hadn't asked her how old she was now. She had been quite small when he first met her but she wasn't that much bigger now, which led him to believe she might have been older than he first thought. Or, maybe that meant she was younger. He wasn't sure what he should do if she wasn't eighteen. Especially considering that they had been intimate both nights she'd stayed with him now. He had told her after Seth went to bed last night, that he would use the futon, but instead, she led him into the bedroom. At first he thought they were just going to share the same bed, and he was okay with that. But, then she punched him in the chest, kicked him in the thigh, and the two of them ended up doing completely unprofessional wrestling, both with clothes on, then off. When it was over, neither of them said anything, but she snuggled into his arms and fell asleep.

This cannot be normal, Mox had thought, just before he too fell asleep. He was still wondering that this morning too. "Don't worry," he assured Seth. "It's fine." It wasn't exactly saying Alexa was over eighteen, but if she wasn't, well, honestly, that horse had escaped the barn years ago. They couldn't erase the past, and the facts were that they'd had sex years ago when they were both too young.

"Okay, I'm glad about that," Seth said, taking a sip from his coffee. Coffee that Alexa had started that morning, Mox remembered. "But, Mox, I'm pretty sure you didn't meet her at the camp. Did you meet her on the indie circuit?"

Mox was tempted to lie, but afraid it might haunt him someday. "No." He offered no other explanation. Let Seth figure it out.

The problem was that Seth wouldn't just figure it out and stay silent, he'd ask for confirmation. "Was she from... from... your... uh,"

He was asking, but doing a lousy job of it. "Yes," he said, rubbing his thigh where a nice bruise had formed from her kick. "I met her during the Timmy days."

"Uh, so you and her..."

Seth's face was red and for some reason that infuriated Mox. Seth wasn't a virgin anymore, and he knew about Mox's past, did he have to pick at him for details? Make Mox trot out his sordid past? "Yes, Seth, I've fucked her," he finally said. "We did three movies together, where she played my sister and we fucked in all three of them. Because why just appeal to just the pedophiles when you can also bring in the incest freaks? What do you think we did, play hide-and-go-seek in the basement?"

"Okay, okay, sorry I asked," Seth said and if he hadn't been driving, Mox was sure he would have raised his hands in a "stop" gesture. "I didn't mean to upset you."

"I don't get why it's so important for some folks to know so much about my past," Mox said. "Especially you, Seth. We're supposed to be brothers. Roman never asked me for all these details." He knew this wasn't quite fair and Roman might ask him the next time he visited if Alexa was really Little Suzie, providing Alexa had gotten over the whole "Baby Girl" thing and didn't start tearing a strip off of him. "But, yeah, we know each other in all sorts of ways, including in the biblical sense. But we're still human beings and I'm asking, no I'm begging you, don't tell her I told you. She has the right not to share her past if she doesn't want to, especially not to you."

"Whoa!" Seth said and this time he did make the stop gesture, using only one hand. "I was just curious, you know?"

Mox knew he was pushing things overboard, but he couldn't help it, he'd been confused himself as to what was going on with him and Alexa since she'd first crawled into bed with him. Seth's questioning was just aggravating him. It sucks having such a fucked up past, he thought. It makes talk so damned embarrassing. "Seth, pretend for a moment that you had a friend, a female friend, and she had a big old wart on her ass. And you ended up telling me and felt bad that you let it slip. How would you feel if every time I saw you, I went, 'Hey, Seth, how's your friend's wart doing? Does she still have it? Does it make it hard for her to sit, Seth? How about poop? Does it make pooping difficult?"

"All right, all right," Seth said, sounding half annoyed and half contrite. "I get it, and I'm sorry I asked. I'm just worried, you know?"

"Why?"

"Because, well, how long has it been since she escaped? Is she okay? I mean, you went through so much and I'll bet she did too. She might need help, are you sure you should be taking this on?"

"Who better than someone who will understand exactly what she went through?" Mox countered. "She won't be the first victim of sex trafficking I've talked to. I've worked with the FBI before."

"Yeah, but you were never... uh, intimate with other victims you've spoken to. And you've never asked one to come live with us."

"I only asked her because she was on the streets," Mox reminded him. "I wasn't trying to lure her to live with me, but I won't let her sleep on the streets. She's got a busted arm and she can't do what she was doing for a living with her arm like that. I'm not a cold hearted bastard, Seth. And if I had the cash, I'd just pay her rent until she was healed, but I'm not that rich."

"Okay, I get that," Seth conceded. "What does she do for a living, anyway?"

Fuck it, I can't lie all the time. "She fights," Mox admitted. "Bare knuckle boxing some call it. Cage fighting, underground fighting, working at fight clubs, whatever you want to call it."

"Is that legal?" Seth sounded surprised.

"The actual fighting? Perfectly legal," Mox said. "The betting? Very illegal. In general, it's frowned upon, but you start taking bets, and yeah, the police get awful interested. Probably the IRS too. But the ones that take bets are the only ones that pay the fighters, at least the ones who win." You sound like an FBI agent yourself now, he thought. Or, at the very least, like good old Sheriff Aaron back home.

"How did you connect up with her?"

"Remember that night Sami and I went out and you first went to that Cuban restaurant? Sami took me to a fight club and that's where I saw her." Mox realized they were almost at the training center and he was relieved. Just a few more minutes. "Look, I don't want to kick her out, but are you going to be okay with this?" He thought about suggesting Seth stay with one of his friends from FCW if he had a problem with it.

"I'm okay with it," Seth said. "Okay, honestly, I have some concerns about it, but I also get that you don't want to leave her on the streets. So, yeah, at least while her arm is healing, she can stay at the house."

"Thank you," Mox said as they were rolling down the street to the center. Although, part of him wondered why he had to thank Seth. It was Sefa who found the place for them, after all, and Sefa was his father. God you're being a massive prick today, aren't you Mox?

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When they got home last night, the breakfast dishes were done, the kitchen, living room, and bathroom were sparkling clean, and Alexa was finishing up making dinner. As Seth looked around, both pleased and a little bewildered that the place was finally up to, if not surpassing his cleanliness standards, Mox knew it wasn't going to be a problem for Alexa to stay. Mox himself was just amazed she could do all of this with only one good arm.

After seeing the living room and kitchen, Seth had gone right into the bathroom, where they first heard him go, "Oh wow," then nothing.

"You didn't have to do all this," Mox said, although he was pleased she had. "I mean, we really appreciate it, but I didn't ask you to stay here to be a housekeeper." You should have told her how pleased you were first, then that she didn't have to, Mox chastised himself.

"If you had asked me, I would have told you no," Alexa said. "I hope you don't mind, I used the ground beef in the refrigerator. It would have passed it's sell by date tomorrow anyway."

Mox sniffed the air, which smelled like beef, tomatoes, and onions and made him want to drool. He hadn't even taken lunch today, he'd worked right through it. "I don't mind at all," he said. It had been meant for dinner after all, who cared who cooked it?

"Mox!" Seth came out of the bathroom, hands still wet after washing them. "She got that ring around the toilet out!"

"I used a can of diet coke," Alexa said.

Since diet coke was something in the house for Seth, not him, Mox wondered how Seth would feel, but apparently the elation about eliminating the toilet ring outweighed the beverage loss. "That's great," Mox said and really it was a good thing, but he wasn't sure it warranted this much enthusiasm. The ring never bothered him, although now that he thought about it, none of the toilets on the Reign's property, even the bunks and arenas had rings in them.

Dinner was ground beef with diced tomatoes, onion and garlic powder, over a bed of noodles. It wasn't fancy, but it was good and they didn't have to make it or order it from a drive through. "What is this?" Seth asked.

"Freedom stew," Alexa said.

"I like it, but I've never heard of it," Seth admitted. Which was more of Seth's thing anyway. Seth was the foodie out of the two of them. Mox was showing his appreciation by eating enthusiastically.

"I don't know if it has an official name," Alexa admitted. "Maybe ground beef and pasta. But I've always called it Freedom Stew."

"Really?" Seth smiled. "Any reason?"

"I liked the sound of it," Alexa said. She wasn't impolite, but her tone indicated this was the end of the discussion. Seth got the hint and dropped the subject.

She had even made dessert, a simple chocolate cream pie, using a ready made crust that was in the freezer. Mox remembered that months ago, Seth bought it, thinking he'd make orange cream pie, just to see if he could do it. He'd never gotten around to it, and Alexa had found it, cooked it, then put in a mixture of chocolate pudding and ready to whip dessert topping. It was rare when Seth and Mox ate dessert, they were supposed to be careful of their diets, but they broke the rule and each had a slice.

When dinner was finished, Mox and Seth were going to do the dishes, but Alexa stopped them. "You guys work," she said. "I'm the one who's crashing here. I'll clean up."

"Are you sure you should be doing that with your arm in the cast?" Mox asked.

She smiled and took a rubber glove from next to the counter, and put it on over the cast. "See? I'm fine." You two go relax, you worked hard today."

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Things settled into a routine fairly quickly for the three of them. Alexa did all of the cooking, cleaning, and laundry, while Seth and Mox appreciated what she did. They would have mowed the lawn, had there been a lawn to mow, but the backyard was a small gravel area and the front yard, a small dirt area strewn with crushed seashells. One day they would clean that up and plant something, they had promised the landlord, but not right now and fortunately, he wasn't in any hurry for them to leave.

Once a week either Mox or Seth, usually Mox, drove her to the grocery store where they paid for the groceries and helped her with the cart and unpacking them when they go home. The food selection they left up to Alexa, who, once she learned about the high protein, moderate good carbs, very limited to zero bad carb diet the training center suggested, did her best to comply. Nobody was going to suggest Alexa open a restaurant, but her food had a comfort quality to it.

Mox always made sure to slip her some cash for her troubles too. There was a small shopping center down the street if she wanted to spend it, but Mox thought she was saving some of it. She'd protested at first about taking it, but he'd convinced her that she deserved it for all she was doing. He saw some new shampoo and conditioner appear in the bathroom, saw Alexa wearing a few more T-shirts than she'd had when she got here, but other than that, she spent nothing. Mox was sure she was saving for the day she got better, so she'd have something to live on, but he never asked her, it was none of his business.

And they continued to use his bedroom together. Seth didn't say a word, which Mox was grateful for, because he had no clue what to say if someone had asked him what his relationship was with Alexa.

They didn't date, unless you called taking her to the grocery store a date, which he didn't. They did go out to dinner a couple times, but not that often, because Alexa usually made dinner. And they usually went to quiet, local places as a spur of the moment thing, they didn't feel like dates to him.

But, they were having sex. Lots of sex. And to Mox's amazement, he was fully able to function. He'd been worried that his past might have screwed him up to the point where he would be unable to perform had he wanted to have sex, but that was proving to be a huge, "No." He was able to rise to the occasion and keep it up for the duration. There was nothing frigid about Alexa, either, who was always the instigator . She seemed to understand that due to the days of Little Timmy and Little Suzie, Mox felt he couldn't ask her, so she was more than happy to take over that chore for the both of them.

But, while they were having sex, Mox had the feeling it wasn't good sex. Not how it made them feel, because both of them seemed to be having more than their share of orgasms, and in most cases, they felt really good. There was a lot of touching, nipping, stroking, and licking as well.

What there wasn't, was much affection. No necking before, the only kiss had been the one she'd given him that first night. No starting on the couch and then before they got carried away, going off to the bedroom. Instead the usual way was that they would go to bed, and at some point, Alexa would start hitting him. Not too hard, but he was developing a good set of bruises that had nothing to do with wrestling. She avoided his face though. She would punch him, kick him, smack him. Often while she accused him of ruining her life. He would put up with so much of this, then pin down her arms and her body with his hands and his body. "Stop it," he'd whisper.

She would change instantly, and suddenly the struggle turned to foreplay, although neither of them seemed to need too much of that. Both of them would be so ready that by the time she was climbing on top of him, or he was moving over her. He almost to the point where he felt he'd be in terrible pain if he didn't get his release. It didn't seem to be quite like that for her, but from everything he could tell, she was getting her own release, usually by the mere act of sex, which shocked him. The woman he'd worked with had made sure he understood that porn was about the only place where a woman got off merely on the act of penetration. In real life, it took more.

He remembered a joke one of them told him, "Timmy, why do women fake orgasms?" she had asked him. When he confessed he had no clue she answered with, "Because men fake foreplay."

And even though the women he'd made movies with were experts at faking orgasms, they also taught him how not to fake foreplay. But he didn't have to do much foreplay with Alexa, at least on the first round. Her beating on him seemed to be all the stimulation she needed If they went for another round, then he could prove his foreplay skills and she seemed to enjoy them, and did her own on him, which he enjoyed. But that first release was always the most powerful.

He wondered at first if he was a masochist, and worried that wrestling might cause him to embarrass himself. That's all I need, he'd thought, Someone botches and suddenly something springs to attention. But, that didn't happen when he wrestled. It didn't happen when one of the women wrestlers slammed into him accidentally after being tossed out of the ring by her opponent. That had been painful, not at all stimulating. He had a feeling his relief had translated itself into way too much of an enthusiastic, "No, really, that's okay, I don't mind at all!" to the two women. He thought he felt them staring at him when he wasn't looking at them.

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"Why do you hit me?" he asked her one night, as they cuddled together. That was strange too, they did seem to like cuddling when it was over when one might have expected they'd turn away from each other and go to sleep.

"Because I still hate you," she said. She didn't mince words.

"Then why have sex with me?"

"Because I still love you," she said.

"You should hate me," he said, arm still around her. "All the time."

"Probably," she said. "But it's your fault that I love you, too. In fact, it's more your fault that I love you than it is that I hate you."

"If you were going to sign up for a Facebook account, what would you write where it asked about if you were in a relationship?" Lance had been on his case to get his own Facebook page for awhile and he kept resisting.

"I already have one," she said. "And it says 'It's Complicated.'"