Chapter 26: Detention (part 1)
It was late when Hermione finally returned to the Gryffindor common room and as her face was weary and tired when she finally passed the portrait hole, Fred and George decided that it was probably not the best moment to convince the witch of their trustworthiness. And so they decided to postpone their campaign to another day when she didn't look like she'd fall asleep in the middle of a conversation. But considering she had detention for the whole week, they possibly had to be patient again.
"Do you think it's the best idea to keep selling our Snack boxes?" George asked his brother when they strolled through the corridors the next afternoon. "Maybe we should lie low until Hermione has spoken more than three sentences with us…"
"This is who we are, Georgie, and Hermione knows that," Fred said with furrowed brows. "We have never pretended to be anything less. She knows we love pranking and want to open a joke shop, Georgie. She's even been to our lab, remember? And she still liked us."
His brother hummed in agreeance. "Yeah, she did. Do you think she still does? I mean, considering what Sirius told us, we could both date her, if that's what we want."
Fred shrugged. "Dunno. But I think at first we need to find an occasion to properly talk to her. And maybe we have a chance to find out then." He looked at his twin with a wide grin. "But that probably won't be before the weekend. So, for now, let's do what we do best. Let's try to sell some more of these Snack boxes. Do you think the other houses would be interested, too?"
George grinned. "Let's find out, shall we?"
ssssssss
Dolores' week had just gotten a bit better. Ever since the Brown-girl was back, she had tried to get information from her, but whoever had kidnapped the girl had thoroughly wiped her memories. And so, apart from the fact that Lavender Brown was not the Open Link, Dolores was as wise as she had been before. It was beyond frustrating.
Now, two days after all the students were back at school, she had been at a loss what to do. By taking the stupid chit with her to the Minister, she had played out all her cards and lost. From now on Dumbledore would keep a close eye on her and her doings but that was alright with her because she would be doing the same with him. Luckily her Inquisitorial Squad was more than willing to supply her with useful information, which brought her to the two redheaded troublemakers in front of her desk.
"Hem hem, well, gentlemen," she said in a sugary sweet voice as she looked at them and the pile of products on the desk in front of her. "How does it come that you are found in possession of such a number of joke products when Educational Decree Nr. 4 clearly forbids the use or ownership of such things?" Dolores asked and studied Fred and George Weasley. Surprisingly the boys didn't look uncomfortable or even regretful in the least, which only fortified her decision that it was time, to finally get her message across to those pig-headed students. Her rules had to be followed, by all students, even those that usually did not see the need to bow to their teacher's year-long experience.
"Huh. That's what Decree Nr. 4 was about?" One of them said and looked at the other one with a shrug. "Sorry, Ma'am, but after a while, I slightly lost the overview. There's so many of them by now, that this one must have slipped our mind."
The other red-head nodded, but she could see in their eyes, that it was a cheeky lie and they knew exactly what they were doing. "Well, Messrs Weasley that is the reason why those rules are placed on the wall, for everybody to see. Students are walking past them every day in the hope that by reading them on a daily basis the rules will finally stick. But obviously, the two of you will need a more permanent reminder."
The boys looked at her with raised brows and Dolores realized that she had confused them. Good. She had hoped that her decision to ban them from Quidditch had taught them, not to cross her, but obviously stricter measures were needed to teach those two that Dolores Umbridge was a woman, whose rules were better obeyed. Luckily she had remembered to bring her Blood Quills for occasions like these. "I think a detention is in order. You'll be visiting my Office this evening at 7 p.m., and tomorrow and the day after."
Fred and George Weasley looked at her and nodded. "Yes, Ma'am," they replied lightly and looked at her with an expression which told her that those boys seemed to be proud to have earned themselves detention. Merlin, those two boys were really misled, poor souls if they took pride in things like that. But luckily Dolores Umbridge was well equipped to teach them that breaking rules was a very bad thing. She had the right tools and she had three days to get the message across. When she was finished with them, Fred and George would think twice before they disobeyed her again. And Dolores would enjoy teaching them this lesson.
ssssssss
When Hermione walked into the Common room at half-past six on her way to detention, Fred and George were already waiting for her with a wide grin on their faces.
"Looks like we have the same way this evening, Hermione," George said with an amused sparkle in his eyes.
Fred nodded. "Yeah, for the next three evenings we are in detention, too."
Hermione looked at them in surprise. "With Professor Snape?"
The two of them shook their heads with a snort. "God, no. Luckily the guy is no longer our problem," Fred said and offered her his arm. But Hermione just stared at it for a moment, before she started walking out of the room, without taking it. It was only a moment, before the twins with their long legs were right next to her again.
"No, we're in detention with Umbridge," George explained. "Her little helpers found us selling our products and she wasn't very impressed with us."
"Of course she wasn't," Hermione said with a sigh. "The woman has passed 42 Educational Decrees by now. She wants to get control over the school. Hell, she even prohibited singing on the floors. Of course, she wouldn't be impressed if she found out you were selling joke products in school."
The boys shrugged with a grin. "Well taking control over the school isn't going very well for her, is it?" Fred asked and crossed his hands behind his head. "We are talking about students - teenagers. They are not simply giving up singing or snogging, just because this woman has swallowed a stick."
George snorted, but Hermione looked at Fred with furrowed brows. "Aren't you worried at all?" she asked them in disbelief but the two of them just shook their heads with an amused smile.
"Worried?" George asked with glinting eyes. "About what? Being in detention?"
She nodded. "Yeah. Boys, this woman is dangerous. Please be careful."
At that, Fred put his arm around her back with an amused smile. "Don't tell me you're worried about us, Hermione. That's actually really sweet." He looked at her with a smug grin. It was only a moment until George copied his gesture and put his arm around her as well.
"Don't worry Hermione. Fred and I are used to doing detentions. We've done it all, scrubbing cauldrons for Snape, going to the Dark Forest with Hagrid… don't worry. We'll be able to take whatever our High Inquisitor is making us do."
Hermione looked at them with a doubtful expression, but Fred and George didn't look like they were worried in the least. Maybe it was her sixth sense or the Open Link, but something told her that Dolores Umbridge was a dangerous person. She could only hope that Fred and George were right with their conviction that they'd be able to handle her because Hermione had the feeling that they were in for a bad surprise.
ssssssss
When Severus had given Hermione detention for the whole week, he had already planned to put the time to good use. Not only was he desperate to spend some time with the girl he had barely seen over Christmas, but his near-death experience had also taught him the value of time. Severus didn't know how much time he had left until the Dark Lord would finally finish him off, but he knew that he wanted to spend as much of it with somebody who actually cared about him. But he didn't intend to drink tea with the girl, no, Severus planned to make himself useful. And if Hermione decided to use the time for exploring the Link between them, then it was completely fine with him. Because no matter if they liked the idea or not, Hermione was probably the only thing that stood between them and Voldemort ruling over wizarding Britain, well she and Harry Potter, but at the moment Severus had no idea how to even save the boy.
"Come in," he said with played boredom when the girl finally stood in front of his office. Now that the hunt for the Open Link had started anew, they would have to be extra careful not to attract unwanted attention. Hermione followed his invitation with a simple, silent nod and it was only a few moments later when they found themselves on the sofa of his sitting room.
Compared to yesterday, Hermione seemed much more relaxed, which was probably due to the fact that he looked much better today. It was a miracle to him, but the energy that Hermione had gifted him with the day before, had really helped him to heal much faster and better than any potion would have been able to.
"How are you, Severus?" she asked him, while her warm, brown eyes were focused on his face and studied it carefully.
"I'm back to my old, snarky self, don't worry," he replied grinning crookedly. "I don't know how you did it, but it's like the whole thing never happened, which should be impossible. The Cruciatus always leaves an invisible mark, no matter what potions you take or spells you use."
Hermione looked at him in wonder. "That's … Merlin, I'm so glad you're alright." Without hesitation, she took his hands into hers and Severus allowed it with a little smile. "What about… older damage? Do you think I would be able to heal that, too?"
Severus looked at her with a thoughtful expression. "Hard to say. Like every injury, I believe the damage has scarred in some way and once the scar is there, it's hard to get rid of. Scars are a tricky thing."
Hermione nodded in understanding. "Could I try anyway? I know it sounds stupid, but I want to make you feel better."
The girl was a miracle. How could she have this kind of affection for an old, snarky man like himself? In the past four years, he never had a kind word for her, but to her, this somehow didn't seem important. Hermione had forgiven him his past insults and had befriended him without reservation. It seemed that the girl would do almost anything for her friends and Severus realized that this attitude of self-sacrifice was what made her an Open Link.
"You can try, Hermione," Severus answered and looked at their entwined hands, "but don't be disappointed if it doesn't work. As I said, the damage has most likely already scarred."
She nodded with a determined expression. "Alright. Okay, let me think. I was able to send you my magic even though you were far away, but yesterday it seemed somehow easier, maybe because I was touching you. Are you alright with me continuing to hold your hand?" She looked at him with a nervous expression.
Severus snorted. " 's not like you asked my permission before and no, I don't mind. I know you respect the boundaries I have set and that's everything I care about. I'm not some shy virgin or whatever you think I am."
The girl blinked at him in confusion with her mouth gaping open and Severus would have loved to know what went through that bushy head of hers. But after a moment she cleared her throat saying: "Yeah, alright. Sorry. I just wanted to make sure."
He waited for her to continue, but her eyes went down to their hands again and she stared at them in awkward silence. It was strange. His words were meant to assure her, but instead, Hermione seemed shy and contemplative. "What is it, Hermione? I can see you're brooding over something. Just spit it out."
For a moment she didn't react. Then her eyes carefully moved up to his face again, before she slightly shook her head again and said: "No, it's alright, really. It's none of my business."
None of her business? Merlin, what was the girl even talking about? He sighed in exasperation. "Hermione…" he said in a warning tone. "…it's obvious that there's something that's bothering and distracting you. We don't need any distractions right now, not when we're playing around with unexplored magic like this. So whatever it is, put it aside or in the name of Salazar talk to me. I'm not going to bite your head off."
She started to chew on her bottom lip again, which meant she was nervous. He probably wouldn't like what was coming next, but he swore to himself that he would not snap or do anything else to drive the girl away. Severus waited.
Finally, Hermione took a deep breath and said: "Have you ever been in love, Severus?"
He blinked. That wasn't what he had expected. "Once," he replied straightforwardly.
Hermione nodded asking in a small voice. "What happened?"
He gave a humourless snort. "She didn't love me back and married another guy. End of story."
He expected pity from her, not that he wanted any, but the girl simply nodded and went on: "Do you still love her?"
That one was easy to answer. "I do." Yeah, he still loved Lily Evans, would probably love her as long as he lived. It was a simple fact, that the woman held his heart, even though she never wanted it and wasn't even alive any longer.
The girl absorbed his words silently, but the chewing of her bottom lip and her rapidly back and forth flickering eyes told him that this probably wasn't the end of their conversation. And he was right.
"Was she the person who…" she took a deep breath. "Was she the person you had sex with?" Her cheeks were deep pink by now and if it wasn't his private life she wanted to know about, he would have been amused by it. But hell, the girl was a teenager - a virgin. It was only natural that she was curious.
"No." The answer was simple even though the story behind it was not. Hell, what would the girl say when he told her that he was in love with her best friend's mother?
"But you're not a virgin," Hermione stated calmly and he could almost see her brain-cells working in overdrive. And he was dreading the question that was most likely coming next. "Can I ask how… who… I mean…"
Alright, stay calm, do not snap, he told himself and looked at her with a neutral expression. He'd rather avoid this topic, but he wanted her to trust him and that meant he had to give uncomfortable answers sometimes, right? He sighed. "Do you really want to know, Hermione? Because I will tell you, that you will not like the answer."
He saw her swallow before she nodded with her eyes full of determination. "You don't have to tell me if it makes you uncomfortable. As I said, it's none of my business."
Severus snorted. "But you still want to know," he stated simply and she nodded. "Alright," he said with a sigh. It took a moment for him to prepare himself for what he was about to say, or better, he prepared himself for her reaction to it. Finally, he said: "Being a Death Eater comes with certain privileges and duties," he started and couldn't help to sneer the last words. "During the first war it was common practice to have regular celebrations after the raids and the participants were sometimes willing and sometimes they would have surely preferred death."
Severus could see that she had grasped the meaning of his words because she looked like she was going to be sick. He half expected her to pull her hands out of his grasp, but to his big surprise, she didn't. Instead, it was now that her eyes looked at him, clearly showing her conflicted feelings.
"That is why you are not very fond of touching, is it? For you, it never came with comfort or love… it was always about…"
He nodded reluctantly. Because even though he had never seen it like that she was right. "Sometimes, when the participants were admirers or willing participants, it was about primal desires. But more often sex was used to cause pain to the poor souls, the Dark had gotten hold off. I was never a willing participant, but that doesn't make me any less guilty."
For a long moment, her sad brown eyes just stared at him, but suddenly she leaned forward and pulled him into a tight embrace. "I'm so sorry this happened to you," she mumbled into his chest and he stared at her in confusion. He had just told her that he had participated in rape, even if it was not by his choice, and she said she was sorry for him? That didn't make sense. Had she probably misunderstood?
"I can't say I understand your decision as there would have been no way in hell that I would have… I would have rather died. But I understand the urge to survive or to avoid torture, as this is what probably would have happened to you."
Severus nodded with a closed-off expression on his face. "I know. If I wouldn't have been a spy for the Order at the time, I would probably have chosen differently. But as things were I thought my value to the Order was greater than the lives and emotional wellbeing of those poor souls. Apart from that: if I had refused another Death Eater would have most willingly taken my place."
The girl didn't say anything for a long while and Severus could see her staring at his chest with unseeing eyes. "I wish I could do something to comfort you, but there probably isn't much I can do," the girl said while she clung to him. "I can't lie to you: I hate that you did these things, it disgusts me more than I can say. But I understand your reasoning, I do. You're as much of the victim of that man's sick mind as were those men and women and I want you to know that I do not despise you for what you have done. You're my friend, Severus, I trust you and even though it's not my part to do so, I forgive you."
Severus nodded with a hammering heart. "I… thank you, Hermione." He hadn't even been aware that he needed somebody's forgiveness, but now that he had hers, no matter how much it was worth, he felt his heart grow a bit lighter. Then suddenly he could feel her magic seeping into him again. It felt like a soft tingle on his skin, warm like he was suddenly bathing in sunshine. Then the feeling moved deeper, right towards the centre of his chest where it finally settled. It felt like nothing he had felt before in his life, nothing at all. No power that the Dark Lord had promised and given him in his youth felt like that. Yes, he had felt power back then, too, but it had always felt tainted and wrong. The feeling that settled in his chest now was the total opposite. It was, like there was suddenly a pool of light inside him that started radiating through his whole body and it felt like a huge weight was lifted from his shoulders, a weight he hadn't even been aware of carrying.
"Severus?" he suddenly heard Hermione ask him in a small voice and suddenly he realized that she was no longer holding him. Instead, she sat next to him with huge, worried eyes. "What's wrong, Severus? You're crying. Did I do something wrong?"
He paused. Indeed, there were tears in his eyes. He hadn't even noticed. For the first time in 13 years Severus Snape was crying, but not out of sadness, but out of pure, undamped happiness. "No, there's nothing wrong at all," he said before he pulled the young woman back into his arms and nestled his cheek against her hair. And he didn't plan to let go of her anytime soon.
ssssssss
A.N.: Huh, this last part wasn't planned at all. This emotional scene between Hermione and Snape just sort of … happened. I hope it doesn't feel too romantic because it isn't meant in a romantical way at all.