Chapter 23 For better or for worse

Henry felt very frightened. Fanny had fainted dead away. She was awfully pale beneath her bruises and had not gained consciousness yet. This was already near an hour. The doctor had just arrived after summoned. He said that her worsened condition was probably because her blood levels were now lower. Then he had left quite quickly, stating that he was going to get the midwife. Of course Fanny was not with child, but she might know some ways to treat this injury.

Edmund had joined him and they managed to talk about other things. Edmund asked about Everingham and Henry told him about his visit.

The doctor soon returned with the midwife.
"I am glad it is dark," he said. "It probably would set tongues wagging if they saw Mrs Grimsby coming here."
Henry and Edmund were shooed out of the room and Doctor Jones and Mrs Grimsby examined Fanny.

When Henry was called in again, Mrs Grimsby said to him: "I could ascertain that it is most likely that the damage is with her womb. I will send some herbs that she needs to drink as a tea, which should lessen the bleeding hopefully. I also advise that your betrothed should eat red meat and green vegetables. And see that you get some milk. These things generally help to replenish the lost blood. It is what I always advise to new mothers."
Some of these things had already been mentioned by Dr Jones himself, but it was good to hear it confirmed.

"Thank you for coming, Mrs Grimsby. Your advice is invaluable."
She nodded. "Well, I will be going now. Expect a messenger boy with the herbs soon. When she wakes up, she should have some tea."
Now both the doctor and the midwife took their leave.

Edmund had called Sir Thomas, who now entered the room.
Henry updated him on the latest news.
For the first time he felt a little hopeful. If what Mrs Grimsby said was true, then there was a chance they would be able to stop the bleeding.

That night Henry tried to stay awake on his chair. Fanny had woken once and had drunk the tea that was made. She seemed to have weakened considerably and hardly spoke. Soon she had fallen asleep again.

"Henry?" A soft voice woke him from a slumber. He found himself leaning onto the bed, holding onto Fanny's hand.
"Fanny! How are you? I shall get you some more tea."
"Henry, I feel so weak. Why is that?"
"Oh love. The doctor says that you have lost quite a lot of blood and that's what made you faint earlier on."
"I see," she said. He helped her to some tea and some food.
"Please try to eat this. The midwife said it will help to replenish the blood you've lost."
"The midwife? Mrs Grimsby was here?"

Henry smiled a little. "Yes, Dr Jones thought that she would have some ideas as to how to treat this… womanly problem." He blushed. "And it seems her ideas might work. It might take a while, but I am more hopeful."

"Oh Henry. I am so sorry to be causing so much trouble."
"Now, dearest. You must not talk nonsense. It is not your fault. So do not blame yourself. The blame lies entirely by that woman. And a bit by me as I should not have left you alone."
She stroked his hand. "And you should not blame yourself. We did not know. She so… surprised me and scared me that I could not get away."
She closed her eyes and a pained reaction was visible. "She… called me a harlot. And that you were meant for Julia and I should not have accepted you. She also called me Frances and said she wished I was never born. But… I wonder if she confused me with my mother."
She was quiet for a while.
Henry thought she might have fallen asleep again.
"My… mother is not a nice person. I wonder if she did something to her sister that has made Mrs Norris so bitter."

"Maybe you are right. Still, there is nothing that can justify what she did to you." He couldn't help it that his anger sounded through.
"Henry, I am angry at her too, but do not let it eat you up. Please?"
"I will try. But it is very hard, when I see what she did right before me."
"Try," she said and then slipped away again.

Henry fell asleep a few times, but it was uncomfortable. The maid still changed Fanny's rags every hour. She herself woke up a few times and then he would help her to some tea and food.
In the morning he was very stiff and his eyes were bloodshot.
Fanny woke up and looked at him. "I am sorry; I have kept you from sleep. Maybe you should go to bed for a while. It is still early I believe. Thank you for staying with me."
"I guess you are right. Well, if you insist, I will try."
She smiled. "I insist."
He kissed her and then left the room to find his own. He fell on the bed and slept immediately.

When after some hours he finally reappeared in the sickroom again, a bit more rested and clean, he was met with the optimistic face of Sarah and Sir Thomas.
"Sir!" Sarah said. "Her bleeding is considerably less."
Henry smiled. That was good news.
"How is she overall?"
"Well, mostly asleep and in pain when awake."
Henry moved towards the bed and Sir Thomas relinquished his place to him.
Henry kissed Fanny's hand. She still looked rather pale and some of the bruises stood out even more.

Later that morning Dr Grant arrived with the marriage license. They then decided to hold the ceremony the day after as it was rather late to do it today.

Fanny slept for most of the day. Henry stayed next to her most of the time and tirelessly applied ice when the pain was too much for her or fed her when she was awake. She spoke little as she did not have the energy.
Despite the fact that she was bleeding much less, her blood loss caused extreme fatigue and light-headedness. Henry's worries were not over yet.

Mary and Edmund sat with her for a while so Henry himself could go and rest. His sleep was restless and his dreams dark.

When he arrived back at his beloved's chamber, he heard Edmund reading to her. Her eyes were closed, but Henry could see she was awake. She looked at him though as soon as she heard him enter.
"Henry!" she smiled at him. The way she said it lightened his heart. He could not resist kissing her carefully on the lips. "I've missed you," he whispered.

"Ahem." Two people in the room cleared their throats. Henry laughed a little.
The four of them then talked for a while, although Fanny did not say much and halfway fell asleep again.

The doctor also visited and was pleased to hear that the herbs seemed to work. He told that he had had an answer from his colleague who gave mostly the same advice as the midwife had given.

The night was long. Fanny was restless in her sleep and didn't seem to notice her own soft whimpering at her pain. Late that night Henry found himself cry of exhaustion. Her pain and continued danger for her health affected him greatly. He wished he could give her relief but he knew not how. "God," he cried. "I beg for mercy for Fanny. Edmund reminded me yesterday of how You healed a woman with that… same sort of condition. I beg you to do the same for Fanny. I know I don't deserve it, or that I deserve her, but I pray you would do it for her. She is good and kind and loving. And faithful to You. Please bring relief and restoration to her health. Amen."
"Amen," he heard her whisper next to him.
Then they both fell asleep, hands intertwined, until the early morning.

Fanny woke up, finding Henry's face near her own. He slept in what must be a very uncomfortable position. She caressed his face to wake him up. His eyes shot open and she smiled at his alarmed countenance.
"I apologise Henry, but I imagine sleeping like that must be very uncomfortable."
"Thank you," he said and then kissed her good morning.
"How are you feeling?" he asked.

She thought about what to answer. She felt as if her limbs were made from lead. The throbbing of her face and her stomach continued and she almost felt as if she got used to the continual pain.
"Much the same," she answered. He looked at her searchingly as if to assess the truth of her answer.

Then he said: "So, today Dr Grant is going to marry us. Unless you do not wish it for today."
Fanny smiled. "I do wish it. It may not be how I expected my wedding day to be and I guess usual aspects of the start of a marriage will be suspended," she blushed at her own words, "but I want to marry you and be with you for the rest of my life!"
She knew this with a certainty she had not known to possess even when she accepted his proposal. Was it only two days ago? If felt a lifetime away.

The reality of her current predicament came back in full force. Would she recover? How long would that take? What if Henry could not bear the situation any longer? What if she would never recover? He deserved a healthy wife.
Her old doubts came up again; the fears of not being good enough for him.

She looked at him and found him observing her quietly, as he had done since the beginning of their acquaintance. Upon her unspoken words, he answered: "Fanny, I want the same. I want to go through life with you by my side. I can see you're doubting yourself again. Let me make it clear: I want you and no-one else. Even if you never fully recover – which I obviously don't hope for – you will always be perfect to me. Whatever life brings, I want to go through it together with you. I will love you until my dying breath. I have never been surer of anything."

Fanny felt tears well up when she heard his words, so full of love.

"I will promise you today to be with you for better or for worse, in sickness and in health. Please never doubt this."

She caressed his face and then pulled it closer. Tentatively she pressed her lips onto his. "I love you Henry." He answered her kiss with tenderness.

A.N. How do you like my story so far? I hope it is not too shocking (or too inaccurate in health facts etc.)