Volume I: Chapter X: Human Connection:
The Next Day: September 17th:
I feel exhausted. I didn't get much sleep last night, due to the pain in my side and arm. Although, I must admit that my wounds for some reason hurt slightly less today than they did yesterday, which is a good thing. But my wounds weren't the only thing keeping me up. I kept thinking about what Raven told me yesterday. About me being just as bad as them. Being a killer with no humanity. All of it. Those words just...kept echoing over and over again in my head and I couldn't shake them out. And even when I did get some sleep, I could still hear her words repeatedly ring in my dreams. Ugh! Speaking of ringing, my head's starting to throb again.
I slowly and carefully flip my body around to press my head against the cold, metal bars to try and alleviate some of the feeling, while making sure not to irritate any of my wounds. As I did so, I also made sure that the warm, wool blanket wrapped around me didn't fall off as I pulled it tighter around my body.
"...wait a minute!" I thought to myself as something just occurred to me. "Blanket? I don't remember sleeping with a blanket last night."
I jolt up, forgetting about my injured body for a split second and am soon instantly reminded of my wounds as pain shot through my abdomen and arm, causing me to wince and sharply inhale through gritted teeth.
"That hurt!" I mentally commented as I let out a pained groan. "But anyway, where did this blanket come from? Did someone put it around me in my sleep?"
(Sigh).
I should just drop it. It's not like it matters anyway. It's keeping me warm and somewhat comfortable. So you know what? I'm not going to complain.
It's still a bit chilly even though it's daytime. Almost like the temperature from last night stayed the same. The sky is littered with clouds making everything appear gloomy and putting a slightly bluish gray tint on everything and contributing to the chilly weather due to the shade they created. I can't see a single bit of blue up there. I wonder what time it is. I couldn't have been asleep long considering how little of it I got.
As my senses were starting to come to me and the morning fatigue was wearing away, I could hear the sounds of conversation and rowdiness from the other bandits in the camp not too far away. I guess I'm not the first one awake. Judging from the smell, I take it that it must be time for breakfast. I'm a bit surprised I can smell the food all the way from here considering they don't sound to be very close by. I then turn around to face the bars and notice something on the ground. It's a plate full of food.
"How did I not notice that?"
Let's see: a sunny side up egg, some potatoes, a slightly burnt (but still good enough to eat) piece of toast and a cup of orange juice. The yolk was sort of running and getting into the rest of the food, but I didn't really mind. Before I pick up a fork and start eating, I notice the corner of something small and white poking out from under the plate. After slipping it from under the weight of the plate, I could see it was a small folded piece of paper. Out of curiosity, I open it to see what it says:
Hi, Simin.
I just wanted to say that I'm sorry about last night. I wasn't being very considerate and you must have been undergoing a lot of stress after what happened. In hindsight, I probably should have given you the bandana at a later time. It may have also been a bit insensitive in regards to your situation when I was talking about you joining us and saying how we can basically be your new family. I know that you must have lost a lot and we are partially to blame for that. And I understand that we can't just replace what you lost, but I just want you to know that there is still a lot we can give you if you give us the chance. Anyway, I hope you can forgive me. After all, I forgive you for the rock throw. But as for the offer, just please at least give it some thought, okay?
P.S. Also, as you can see I brought you your breakfast early and left in a hurry since I figured you wouldn't want to see my face right now, so I heated it up really hot while you were asleep and left so that by the time you wake up, it will have already cooled (but I can't exactly predict when you wake up so I would still advise checking its temperature before eating). However, I will be delivering your dinner tonight in person and we will be having a talk okay? I'll see you then.
P.P.S. And yes. I was the one who put the blanket on you. You looked cold.
Well that explains the blanket mystery. I think that rock may have hit her a bit too hard in the head.
She certainly is a strange one. Still bitter about last night, I crumple the letter and toss it aside as I let out a flustered sigh. There is no way I'll be giving them a chance. There is nothing these people could offer me. Besides, bandits don't offer, they take. Just like they took Bruno. So why should I give them a chance?
And as for that Mari girl, I don't know what her full game is, but it almost seems to me like her trying to convince me to join is just Raven working through her. I don't know if I can trust her. How am I supposed to believe she is actually being genuine? How do I know she isn't just Raven's puppet or something and this all isn't just some act?
(Sigh).
Maybe I should get to eating. It'll help get my mind off things for a bit.
I start off with the potatoes and start scooping them into my starving mouth with the fork provided. Very soon, I finish them in no time at all. After that I move onto the egg and toast. I start off by poking the yolk a bit more with my fork to let it run some more and create a small puddle on my plate. I then pull apart my toast into small pieces and place it in the yolk puddle that has formed on the plate, allowing the pieces to soak up the yellowish substance like a sponge being placed in water. This is something I like to do whenever I have sunny side up eggs and toast. I started doing this one day after my dad made sunny side up eggs and toast for breakfast and the yolk accidentally got absorbed a bit by the toast and it was surprisingly good. Since then, I would start eating them this way. After letting the toast absorb the yolk enough, I start to munch down on the yolk-soaked pieces of bread and then quickly gulp down my glass of orange juice. Once I was done with everything, I push the now empty plate and cup through the bars and outside the cage.
Now that I've finished my breakfast, now what do I do? Am I really going to be stuck in this cage for three days? There's not really much to do in here to preoccupy myself. Normally I'd do some training, but I don't think my body will allow me right now. This will be a boring few days.
I decide to just lay myself back down and pull the warm, soft blanket back over me in hopes that I'll be able to catch up on some sleep. As I close my eyes, a gentle breeze blows through, causing me to pull the blanket more tightly around myself. It's a good thing Mari gave me this blanket. Although I'm still very wary of her.
As the breeze continued to blow through, I suddenly felt something light softly hit me in the back of the head. I turn over and see it was the note Mari left me that I crumpled up and tossed that was returning to me.
I give another sigh.
I just don't understand that girl.
. . .
Once again, night had overcome day as the blue canvas of the sky was overwhelmed by the black sheet of night. It was a very nothing day today really. I mean it's kind of hard to entertain yourself when neither your surroundings nor your body will let you. So instead I just laid down for a bit, got some extra sleep, and attempted- emphasis on "attempted"- to get some training in later as a form of physical therapy. My side still hurts but I was able to get a little bit of stuff in so long as I kept my movements slow and well-paced. Aside from that, that was pretty much it. I was honestly a bit surprised no bandits tried to interrogate me or whatever like when I first woke up here. My guess is Raven probably told them not to bother me or some crap like that, but that's only an unconfirmed theory.
Anyway, I'm starting to get hungry again. I honestly would really like to have dinner right now, but if it means seeing Mari again I think I'd rather starve. Especially considering she'll probably try to talk to me again. Speaking of which, she might be here any minute. I think I'll lay down for a bit and pretend I'm sleeping. I don't feel like interacting with her, especially after last night. Hopefully she'll see that I'm "asleep" and just leave the plate of food and go buzz off somewhere else.
I go grab the blanket Mari left me and move to the center of the cage with it, before curling up with my back facing the bars just in case she would try to shake me awake if she bought into my feigned slumber. Eventually, just a few minutes after I did this, I hear light footsteps approaching, obviously belonging to Mari. There's no way it couldn't be her. I continue to stick with my plan and pretend to sleep in the center of the cage. Hopefully she'll think I'm sleeping and buzz off. Once the footsteps get closer I hear the familiar voice begin to speak.
"Sorry I'm a little late. There was a drunken brawl. As usual, I made sure to heat your food up for you. Tonight is beans, rice, and chicken. Oh! And just like yesterday, it's tea to drink. So anyway, are you ready to-" She slowly cuts herself off as her voice quickly started to lose volume following each pause. She must have noticed that I'm "sleeping".
"Good. Now get out of he-"
"I know you're not asleep, Simin. Stop the faking and come over." She urges.
"Dammit!" I thought. "I thought that would work."
"Come on. Just come over and eat so we can talk alright? Let's just start over. We obviously got off on the wrong foot."
"Just ignore her and keep pretending to sleep. She'll eventually leave... I hope."
I eventually hear a bit of a thump on the ground like something was just set down. She must have just placed the food on by the cage.
"Is she actually about to leave? Is this actually going to wor-?"
I then hear another sound of something settling on the ground as well.
"She just sat down didn't she?"
(Sigh).
"I'm not going anywhere until you come over, Simin." She says with a tone that had a bit of firmness compared to yesterday. "So you can either lie there and starve all night or come over and eat and we can talk. Your choice, Simin."
"At least she's persistent. I'll give her that."
Just then, my stomach started to grumble as my body was urging me to cave and give in to her demands. I let out another sigh- although this time, a mental one.
"Fine. Screw it!"
Accepting defeat, I eventually reluctantly get up and start walking toward the plate of food and her.
"Thank you, Simin. I knew you'd come around." She says with a relieved, yet somewhat sarcastic, tone.
"Are you happy now?!" I say with a bit of frustration due to allowing myself to cave in.
"Yes. Yes I am." She says with a calm tone and a bit of an accomplished grin spread across her face. "I'm sorry, Simin. But I had to." She apologized.
As soon as she finished her sentence, I then took a seat near the bars with the plate and began eating, neglecting to thank her. As I started to eat, I couldn't help but notice something strange about the food. It's still hot. I mean I know she said that she heated, but this feels like it was fresh out of the pot. Judging from the portion size, I can tell that she got me this toward the end of dinnertime, which means it should have been a bit cooler. I wonder how she was able to heat it up to this degree and so quickly too.
"Are you okay, Simin?" Mari asks, noticing the puzzled look on my face.
"What?" I say as I swallow a small mouthful of beans.
"You look bothered by something. Do you not like it?" She said with a bit of worry in her eyes.
"Y-yeah. It's fine." I dismiss her assumption. "I just... have a quick question."
"Ask away." She says gesturing her hand to me.
"How is my food this hot?" I ask out of curiosity.
"What do you mean? I just heated it up for you is all." She says a bit confused as she cocks her head to one side like a curious puppy.
"Yeah, but how?" I emphasize, hoping she would understand what I really wanted to know with my question.
"That's... not important right now." She says dismisfully, briefly avoiding eye contact as she spoke. "Look, I want to cut to the chase, okay? You and I got off on the wrong foot yesterday and-"
"And you want to make it up to me?" I interrupt, predicting the rest of her sentence. "Is that it? Is that why you wanted to talk? Is that why you're here?"
"Y-yes." She replies with a bit of a nervous tone as she probably had a feeling how this was going to go for her.
Her eyes then wandered over my shoulder as she slightly tilted her head up to get a clearer view. She seemed to be fixated on something. Out of curiosity, I turn and I don't really see anything could have piqued her interest aside from the crumpled up piece of paper. That's probably what she's looking at.
"So I take it you read my note?" She asks with a bit of a somber voice as she gave a bit of a sad smile.
"Yep." I say as I go back to eating my food, trying to keep the talking to a minimum.
"Are you going to be this cold with me the whole time, Simin? I just want to talk. Please, can we just do that? That's all I want." She pleads, now with slight annoyance in her voice. I can tell she's getting a bit frustrated.
"Why did you come here?" I bluntly ask, changing the source of this conversation that has yet to even leave the station.
"I...just told you." She answers my question shifting from slightly annoyed to confused rather quickly as she didn't know where my question was coming from or where I was going with it.
"No. That's not what I meant. Why did you come here? You don't strike me as the type of person who does things independently of your own accord."
"Simin, what are you implying?" She asks, slowly starting to catch on.
"Raven put you up to this, didn't she?" I accuse her. "Sending you here to give me food and be nice toward me to put me under some false sense of security and lure me into joining her tribe so I can just be a tool at her disposal. That's the game isn't it?"
"No! That's not it at al! Simin." She hastily denies. "You're just overthinking this."
"Bullshit! Don't lie to me!" I shout antagonistically.
"I'm not lying!" She says, raising her voice. "I promise you that my kindness toward you has been genuine and honest. I swear. And as for Raven, I know she can be... a complicated and questionable person-"
"Way to sugarcoat it." I interrupt with a bit of sarcasm, showing that I'm not buying her crap.
"As I was saying..." She said slightly annoyed. "I know Raven can be complicated and questionable and all, but she really wants what's best for you at the end of the day. She knows that you'll die out there. That's why she gave you this ultimatum. She's giving you a second chance so you can live. Trust me. I know because I speak from both second and first-hand experience. For example, I once lost something that was very dear to me and Raven helped me and took me in. She's done the same for others here as well and she wants to do that for you too.
"And as for Raven herself, she doesn't want to use you as a tool. She just wants to help you. She saw your strength and she wants you to be able to hone it so that you can never lose again what you can regain through joining. And I'm trying to make you see that, but you're thinking irrationally. Raven just wants what's best for you at the end of the day."
"You mean what's best for her. Raven is probably just feeding these words to you just to regurgitate them at me. She could care less about me." I say, stubbornly.
"Just listen to me, Si-"
"I remember the first words you spoke to me when we first met yesterday: 'I was told to bring you your food.' 'I...was told...'. I know you are doing this all under orders so you don't have to keep pretending and trying to convince me you're not. I don't think I can bring myself to believe that a single word that has come out of your mouth or a single action that you've done for me has been genuine. How do I know that this is you speaking and doing these things and these are not just orders Raven gave you to lure me into a trap? Raven doesn't give damn about me and I doubt you do either. She didn't give you another chance at life. She made you throw away whatever little life you had left for her. And that's what she's trying to have you make me do too like a pawn."
There were a few seconds of silence after this.
"You want to know something, Simin?" Mari said, with a firm voice.
"No. I think I've heard eno-"
"Shut up! And listen!" She raised her voice with assertion. "Please."
Taken aback by her sudden burst of energy, I was left silent. I wasn't expecting that.
"Yes. I did give you your food yesterday under her orders, but that is the only thing you are right about. Let me tell you a secret, Simin: my orders were to specifically deliver your food and report back to Raven and that I was to not interact with you under any circumstances. And I have been disobeying those orders the second I uttered the first word to you. And do you want to know why? Because I want to show you that we can really be something for you if you let us.
"When you hurled that rock at me yesterday (which still hurts by the way) I reported back to Raven as instructed. I tried to hide the bump by adjusting my bangs to cover it, but Raven caught on quickly and discovered it. She immediately (and correctly) assumed it was you and she was... -well-... she was ready to kill you... until I stopped her that is and talked her out of it by telling her I just tripped and hit my head, which took some convincing. Despite what you did, I still covered for you. I saved your life last night and you had no idea. If it weren't for me, you wouldn't have woken up this morning because you would have been dead. I even went as far as to give you my blanket straight from my tent to keep you and go out of my way to do small things like keep your food and drink heated to make sure you didn't freeze at night. Everything that I have done has been all me. I have been nothing but genuine and honest with you from the moment we met.
"You may think that I don't care, but I do. If I didn't care, I wouldn't be here right now trying to talk some sense into you. I wouldn't be going out of my way to do these things for you. I would have just called it quits after last night and just let Raven kill you, but I didn't give up on you and I have no intentions of doing so. You think I want to see a child get thrown back out into the wilderness to die? Well I don't! I'm trying to help and save you, Simin, but you keep trying to push and drive me away. Every word that has come out of my mouth and every action that I have done has been genuine. And more importantly, everything that I have told you tonight has been nothing but the truth. Whether you choose to believe me or not is entirely up to you. But regardless, it will never change the fact that it is the truth. So You know what? I think I'm done talking now. Just...go to sleep. I'll go take your plate and cup, so just go to sleep. I'm done talking tonight.
"I'm just... I'm just tired and... so frustrated right now. You've given up I can tell. You'd rather die than join us not just because you don't trust us, but mostly because of what you've lost. You're already prepared to die and throw your life away because you feel you have nothing left to lose. But that only gives me even more of a reason to not give up on you. I will keep trying and I will keep pushing until I've gotten through to you. I don't know what on Remnant I'm going to have to do to prove to you that I really do care and am just trying to help in any way that I can, but I'm here for you so long as you just let me. If you won't give Raven or the tribe a chance, then at the very least, give me a chance. Let me show you what it is we can offer you- what we can give back. If you feel that you have nothing to lose, then we'll give you something to lose. Think about that when you fall asleep, okay?"
Without another word, Mari gets up, now empty plate and cup in her hands and takes them away as she storms off with a frustrated huff without even so much as glancing back at me.
I honestly don't know what to say. She really kinda went all out there didn't she?
I... I honestly feel bad now. I mean, I just kept antagonizing her and pushed her to that point. And if that's true that she did all those things for me of her own will and even protected me despite everything, then that just makes me a complete ungrateful asshole. She was just trying to be nice and I just... was just so terrible toward her. She gave me a chance and I gave her a rock to the head. And despite that, she still covered for me and continued to give me another chance. And I think it's fair that I give her one as well... at the very least.
I take a deep breath out of my nose as I just feel a bit mentally fatigued after that. I need to lay down and do some reflecting. I need to somehow make it up to her or make it a point to not be such an ass toward her. Tomorrow, I'll give her a chance- the same chance she gave me as well as the chance she deserves.
Eventually through all my thinking and self reflecting, I close my eyes and fall asleep with her blanket wrapped around me and Bruno's bandana held to my chest.
. . .
The Next Day: September 18th:
"Ugh. Morning already?"
I slowly but surely was dragged out from my sleep as the light from the sun poked its way through the trees, the rays making their way to me and gently warming and bathing my face like a good morning kiss. In response, I pull up the blanket and shield my face.
"Just a bit longer, sun? Please? I'm not ready to wake up yet."
I hate morning fatigue. It's just such a disorienting feeling that makes you just want to lay back down and not get back up. I wish whenever we wake up in the morning, we could just not feel any fatigue and just be completely ready for the day and feel completely recharged. Then I wouldn't have to worry about morning fatigue anymore. But unfortunately, wishing for that is just setting myself up for disappointment.
After blocking the sun's rays from my face, I then noticed that there was something hitting me in the back of the neck. It felt like a slight breeze, but there was something that was strange about it. For starters, it felt very soft and warm. There was also a bit of a calm rhythm to it. With every time the breeze hit me, it was also accompanied by a very relaxed noise. Is that... breathing?
I turn around and see behind me, just outside the bars, Mari, sound asleep. Completely caught off-guard by this, it actually ended up startling me and caused me to jump a bit, again sending a wave of pain through my body due to my wounds... again.
"Agh! Dammit! Not again!" I shouted under my breath, careful not to wake her up.
It didn't hurt as much as yesterday, but it still definitely hurt enough to cause me to recoil. After recovering a bit, I look back at the sleeping girl to make sure I didn't accidentally wake her up.
Did she come back and stay with me the whole night after I fell asleep? I'm surprised she even came back, given the crap I put her through. But then again, she did say she wouldn't give up.
She looks so peaceful curled up like that. But I can't help but also think of how uncomfortable she must be, sleeping out here with no pillow or blanket or anything. The only thing she was using as a substitute for a pillow was her own arm. She's just sleeping there on the hard, bare soil... just like I was on my first night. That got me thinking. Was she trying to empathize or level with me this way by essentially trying to put herself in my shoes or something? I have to respect that dedication of hers.
Anyway, aside from that she looks cold. Judging from how she's curled up, it must have been pretty chilly last night. I take Mari's blanket off of me and proceed to push it through the bars and wrap it around her. But right as I finish doing so, she begins to stir and slowly wakes up as she begins to speak with a groggy voice.
"Simin, what are you-"
"N-nothing!" I exclaim while panicking and hastily moving away from her, which caused some of the pain from earlier to return.
"Are you okay?" She said with a concerned tone (but still maintaining her grogginess) as she sat up and noticed the slightly pained look on my face.
"Yeah. I'm fine." I assure her. "I just aggravated my wounds a bit."
"Be more careful okay?" She advises. "So tell me what were you doing just now?"
"Nothing, I swear." I unconvincingly lied.
"Sure." She states while giving me a look that clearly stated she wasn't buying my obvious lie.
Knowing her, she probably won't let it go until I cave in just like last night.
"Okay fine." I cave in again. "You looked cold, so I was putting the blanket on you."
"Oh. Well thank you, Simin. That's very sweet and thoughtful of you." She responds as she pulls the blanket over her shoulders.
Due to her comment, I slightly nervously blushed from sheer awkwardness, due to the fact that I still felt bad about how I treated her the past two nights.
"So were you there all night?" I speak up while she gives a yawn, still trying to completely wake herself up, as the sunlight bounced off her long, purple hair.
"Hm?" She asks not fully hearing what I said.
"I said were you there all night?" I repeat.
"Yes." She bluntly answers.
"Why? Why did you spend all night here with me, especially after how I treated you? You didn't have to do that."
"I'm not going to give up on you, Simin." She answers as her groggy voice slowly disappears and becomes more awake. "You already know that by now. Also it was obvious to me that just talking wasn't going to help me get through to you so I thought maybe if I could show you that I care and am here for you by spending the night by your side so you wouldn't be alone, I'll get through to you. It was a bit of a gamble, I admit. I was getting desperate and was running out of ideas. I wasn't really too sure on how you would react."
"You're weird, you know that?" I comment with a slightly bantering tone.
"I'll take it." She gives a chuckle as she starts to get up and stretch and then removes some dead leaves from her hair and dust herself off. "I'll be back with your breakfast." She tells me as she turns and begins to walk off.
"Wait, Mari." I blurt out before she walks off.
"Is something wrong, Simin? Did you need something?" She asks with a bit of curiosity on her face as she turns again to face me.
Feeling ashamed, I look down. I need to apologize to her. She deserves an apology for how I treated her. Still looking down, I opened my mouth and started to speak.
"I... I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. For everything. I've been a total ass to you these past couple of nights. I yelled at you, I attacked your character, I hit you in the head with a rock, and accused you of lying to me, and other stuff and you didn't deserve any of it. I'm sorry, Mari. I'm really sorry and I promise I won't do that to you again." I hope that sounded sincere enough.
I was still looking down as I was afraid to look her in the eyes and was only met with silence as I anticipated Mari's response. The silence honestly made it a bit nerve wracking. Eventually, I could hear Mari's footsteps approach me as she eventually spoke up:
"Simin?"
"Y-yes?" I ask, nervous that she will decline my apology.
"Please look at me?"
I slowly look up and see her crouched at eye level with me with a soft smile as her emerald green eyes look into mine.
"I accept your apology." She says in a calm and quiet voice.
"Y-you do?" I honestly thought she would give me a cold shoulder or something.
"Yes, Simin. I do." She says as she reaches her slender arm through the bars and puts a comforting hand on my shoulder. "Don't beat yourself up too much, okay? I understand you were going through a lot. Don't get me wrong though. I'm not saying that excuses it. But what I am saying is not to worry. I forgive you." She says before turning to leave.
"Oh! Mari. One more thing."
"Yes, Simin?" She says turning back around.
"Do you think we could maybe eat together today and talk?"
"Of course. Now I'm going to get our breakfast, okay?"
" 'our'?" I ask, wondering if I misheard her.
"Yeah. You literally just asked if we could eat together remember?"
"Oh right. Sorry." I say blushing at the embarrassment and awkwardness of my own forgetfulness.
I guess I'm just not used to interacting with people like this in such a casual or friendly manner. It's been a bit of a while since Dorado. I've been so used to being alone lately, that I sort of forgot what it was like to have friendly conversations like this with someone. Although it's not like I had many conversations to begin with. I was always a pretty shy and awkward kid even before I stopped talking for a while. The only person I ever had full conversations with ease with was my mom. She always knew how to make even the most introverted of people open up around her (which is probably how she ended up marrying my dad).
"It's fine. Don't worry about it." She says with a giggle and smile aimed at my slight embarrassment before turning around to get our food, disappearing as she reaches the corner.
I wonder how long it'll take her until she comes back with the food. My body actually feels a bit better today. I guess I'll take this chance and get some kind of training in before she returns. I just need to remember to take it easy. I slowly get up, using the bars to pull myself. I do a few stretches and practice while I wait.
A few minutes later:
"I'm back!" She says in a bit of sing-songy voice.
I immediately stopped what I was doing and walked over so we could eat.
"Thank you." I say as I sit down and look at my plate of food. I then looked over at her plate as she was sitting down and noticed it was about half as full as mine- maybe even less.
"Where's the rest of your food?" I ask. Maybe she ate some on the way back?
"They were out of a lot so I gave you half of mine to fill your plate."
"You didn't have to do that, Mari."
"I know. But I care, remember?" She says, slightly poking fun at me for questioning her character last night.
"Was that a jab?" I respond a bit light-heartedly.
"Maybe." She says as the corners of her mouth give a slight grin.
"Well at least you're upfront." I respond as we both share a small, short laugh.
A couple moments of silence pass as we both take a bite of our breakfast. Eventually, Mari would continue the conversation.
"So I take it your body's holding up pretty well?" She asks, checking up on my recovery.
"Yeah. My body hurts a lot less than it did yesterday or two days ago. I even got some more mobility back."
"That's good to hear. Sounds like you're making a surprisingly quick recovery, which is even better to hear. Raven and I went through a bit of trouble and a lot of bandages to save you."
"Thank you." I simply answer.
"You're very welcome, Simin. It was a close call, but you came through... obviously, considering we're literally having a conversation about it." She muttered the last part, but I was still able to hear it.
Another few seconds of silence once again passed.
"I feel so awkward right now. Gods, I am such a bad conversationalist! I feel like I'm supposed to say something here, but I'm not sure what. Is this the part where we segue into another subject?"
"So Simin, who taught you how to fight?" She changes the subject before taking a sip from her cup.
"Well that answers my question."
"Oh. You saw me practicing?" I ask slightly flustered as I had no idea anyone could see me.
"Mhm." She says as she brings her cup up to her lips before taking a sip.
"My dad taught me everything I know." I answer her initial question. "We started training when I was about 5 years old and we did it every night since. He would never go easy on me though, but he would still be merciful enough that I could stand a chance. It was almost like he was a completely different person whenever we would train. But I am thankful for it though because the intensity of our sessions toughened me up a lot. He even taught me some survival skills like how to wield and load a weapon, how to hunt and prepare certain prey, and other stuff. He's the main reason why I've been able to survive out here for as long as I have... well that and a bit of luck as well."
"Oh so that explains it. Your dad must have been very strong then, I take it." She correctly assumes.
"Yeah. He was the guardian of our village and he protected it by himself for over a decade."
"By himself?" Mari says with audible surprise in her voice as her eyes slightly widened along with her eyebrows raising.
"Yeah. I've seen him single-handedly take on and defeat bandit raids and entire grimm hordes almost effortlessly. I always looked up to him and wanted to be as strong as him someday. But then our village fell." I say skipping an obvious detail due to not wanting to revisit that memory of seeing my father's lifeless corpse. "And after that' I've been mostly on my own since."
"So how long were you out there until Raven grabbed you?" She asks a follow up question.
"About a month and a half." I answer.
"That long?!" She says with surprise. "Your dad taught you well then. But still, I can't believe a child like you was out there for so long."
"Yeah. I wouldn't believe it either if I heard it as well." I say, empathizing with her shock. "But it's the truth."
"I believe you." Mari assures me as the silence from earlier returns as if it were routine.
Mari then started to swirl her cup in her hands as if she had something on her mind like she wanted to ask me with a bit of an unsure look in her eyes. Eventually after some thinking, she let the question out.
"So, Simin... " She speaks up. "I noticed you never told me anything else about your dad. What happened to him?"
Instead of answering, I quickly grew silent and clammed up as I stared down at the drink in my hand, not wanting to revisit that memory. Mari then noticed the somber expression face and instantly felt regret for bringing it up.
"I'm sorry, Simin. I... I didn't meant to-... I wasn't thin-"
"It's okay Mari." I cut her off. "Don't worry about it. I'm just...not ready to revisit that okay?"
"I understand."
To get my mind off of it, I go back to eating my breakfast as I begin to pull apart the toast (which wasn't as burnt as yesterday's) and place into the running yolk of my egg.
"Hm." I heard Mari say as if she were fixated on something happening that was strange to her.
"What is it?" I say looking up at Mari whose eyes were fixated on my plate with a curious look on her face as she cocked her head to one side.
"I've never seen someone do that before." She then points her finger at the yolk-soaked bread sitting on my plate.
"Really?"
"I mean I've had eggs and toast before, but not like this." She comments. "Is it good?"
"I think it's good." I give her my subjective opinion. "You should try it."
"Uhh... I don't know." She spoke a bit apprehensively.
"But you might like it." I urge her to try.
"Hmm. Okay, I'll give it a try." She caves in after some contemplation.
I take a piece of yolk soaked bread from my plate and hand it to her as she takes it with her thumb and forefinger. I then watch in anticipation as she places it in her mouth and begins to chew. As she was eating it, her eyes started to move around almost like she was having a mental conversation with herself on whether she likes this strange breakfast combo or hates it.
"Hmm." She says with pursed lips and eyes pointed downward after finishing as she was about to give her final verdict.
"So what do you think?" I ask, hoping she liked it.
"I think you're weird too." She teases, calling back to earlier as we share another laugh (although in my case I was laughing through the disappointment).
Once again, just like clockwork, another period of awkward silence befell us, but this time, I would be the one to break it.
"I've... been doing some thinking when I was training- about Raven's offer."
"Aaand...?" Mari leaned close as she was anticipating what I would say next.
"Is it true? That Raven really helped give you and others here a second chance at life? That she's just trying to help me at the end of the day? Are you all actually family to her and not just pawns?"
"Of course it's true Simin. I know you may not trust Raven much, but she really just wants to help you. And the fact that she spared your life and gave you a second chance, should be proof enough. Everything that's going on in your head right now..." She says as she taps the side of my head. "... -all your doubts and mistrust-, though understandable, are untrue. That's paranoia speaking. That's irrationality speaking. Don't listen to it. I promise you that you have nothing to worry about."
Still feeling unsure, I drop my head forward to look at the ground and contemplate. As I did so, I felt Mari's hand stop me midway and raise my head back up by my chin.
"Simin, will you trust me?" She says with genuine eyes and voice.
After a few seconds of thinking, I gave my answer:
"Yes." I simply stated, to which Mari smiled as that meant I had finally let her in and felt no need to keep my guard up around her anymore.
"Then trust me when I say, everything will be alright." She said more quietly as she placed both of her hands on my shoulders.
"Okay." I give a slight nod.
"Good." She responded with a warm smile.
"But..." I continue. "I still want to think about it some more if that's okay. I just want to weigh the pros and cons is all."
"Your time isn't unlimited you know?" She says with a sigh as she sounded slightly disappointed.
"I know." I said, fully understanding my situation.
After that our conversation ended as we both eventually finished our breakfasts.
"Are you finished, Simin?" Mari asked me with her hand out, ready to take my plate and cup
"Mhm." I nod as I down the last bit of food.
"All right. I'll go take your plate and cup for you then." With that, she then gets up with both of our cups and plates in her hands. "The others were all talking about something when I was getting our food that made me curious."
"What was it about?" I ask her curiously.
"I don't know." She answered. "Something about a village. I was going to ask around to find out what the talk is all about."
"Be sure to fill me in please." I look up to her.
"Sure thing, Simin. See you at dinner!" She says as she walks off and disappears behind the corner, both plates and cups in her hands.
Well... now that I'm alone again, I'm going to get some more training in.
. . .
Later That Night:
"Hmm. I wonder what's taking Mari so long today. She's running a bit late- a bit later than yesterday even. I hope she didn't run into any trouble. Wait. Could it be that Raven found out she's been interacting with me and punished her for it? I really hope that isn't the case."
Just as I finished my internal monologue, I heard the familiar footsteps of Mari as she reared the corner with two plates and cups in her hands, giving me an instant feeling of relief as my concerns were proven incorrect. But there was something off-putting about her step. She had a different demeanor than earlier and wore a sullen expression on her face.
"Hey, Simin. Here's your dinner." She says a bit solemnly.
I'd ask her what's the matter, but I don't want to immediately jump to that yet in case of the off chance it catches her off guard and causes her to clam up.
"Thank you. You have enough for yourself this time, right?" I ask, making sure she didn't neglect herself this time.
"Yeah. Don't worry." She says, maintaining her gloomy demeanor as we start eating- more specifically as I started eating. I noticed she wasn't eating much though and was barely touching her food.
"Is she okay? Did she actually get in trouble or something? What happened that completely changed her mood from this morning?"
"So Simin..." She speaks up again. "I don't want to sound like I'm rushing you, but don't forget that tomorrow is decision day." Mari reminds me.
"I know, Mari. Don't worry." I assure her. "I promise I'll have a decision by tomorrow morning."
"Okay. I should also let you know that tomorrow, to give your decision, you will be taken to Raven's tent. That will be around noon." The worried girl informs me.
"Thank you for the heads up." I say with a chuckle to add some lightheartedness to the conversation.
"Simin. Please be careful with your words in there." She urged, taking my chuckle as a lack of seriousness toward the situation. "I don't know what it was you said to her two days ago, but Raven seemed a bit heated after she came back from talking to you."
"Don't worry Mari." I assure her again, still remembering how the last conversation I had with Raven went.
"I mean it, Simin." She then flashes me the same worried and concerned look she gave me when she was here with Raven and the other girl whose name is slipping my mind at the moment on my first day here. She seems so stressed today. "Whatever you say in there tomorrow will determine what comes next, whether that is your fate or your future. So please promise that you'll be careful tomorrow?"
"Okay. I promise I'll be careful, Mari. Please don't worry. Trust me. I learned my lesson." I say trying to relieve her of whatever stress she might be feeling.
"Okay." She says with a heavy exhale.
Even though she seems to have calmed down a bit, she still looks really shaken. I think it's time I ask her about whatever has her so rattled today. I stop eating and ask her what's wrong.
"Are you okay, Mari? Is something bothering you?" I ask, giving her a concerned look similar to the one she gave me a few seconds ago.
"I'm fine, Simin." She unconvincingly tries to assure me. "Just a bit worried about tomorrow is all."
"I can tell there is something else on your mind, Mari. Your demeanor is completely different than how it was this morning. What happened today that has you so shaken up compared to this morning?"
"You're very observant." She compliments. "Not a lot gets past you does it?"
"Nope." I say bluntly. "Also, you're not a very good liar."
"Well okay then." She gives a slight chuckle of her own before bringing her demeanor back to the somberness she had just recently adopted.
"Simin? Before you ended up here, do you mind telling me where it was you were heading? What was your destination?" She sounded almost like she was afraid of the answer and was bracing herself.
"Kuroyuri." I tell her. "I was heading to Kuroyuri. Why do you ask?"
Mari simply looked away with a bit of a deep breath like she got the answer she knew she was going to get, but didn't want.
"I thought so." She says somberly as she nods to herself. Mari, who was still sitting, then spun herself around as she leaned her back against the bars and pulled her knees to her chest.
"Simin, listen closely." She muttered with a very serious tone Though she was muttering her words, they were still more than audible enough for me to hear. "I just found out today from the others... that Kuroyuri-... Kuroyuri was just recently destroyed in a grimm attack."
I couldn't believe the words that registered in my ears as I was completely shocked by the sudden tragic news.
"What?! B-but how?! When?! When did this happen?"
"It happened a couple nights ago." She answers. "The entire village was sacked in a single night. They didn't stand a chance. I couldn't find out if there were any survivors though, so I have no clue if there even are any. I'm really sorry to tell you this, Simin."
I was absolutely floored upon hearing this. To think that's where I was trying to go after Oniyuri. I should be relieved that I basically and accidentally dodged a bullet, but I can't. Not after knowing what happened to those people. Their home is destroyed and most of them are most likely dead or probably wish they were dead if any managed to survive. It's just like Dorado all over again. Only this time, it's them that are going through what I went through.
Dorado, Oniyuri, and now Kuroyuri. All (in some way, shape, or form) have fallen victim to the grimm. Whether it fell due to abandonment or attack, the grimm are responsible. It made me think back to the screams of terrified people as a horde of grimm closed in on them, eager to rip them to shreds as those screams would soon be overcome by the sounds of those monsters celebrating their kills. The cries of children who were scared and alone as they got separated from their parents in the chaos as their little hearts were filled to the brim and overflowing with fear before having their short lives quickly snuffed out. The weak and elderly who were unable to even run and fight back as they can only watch as the grimm lurched closer and closer, ready to write the last chapter of their lives with their blood. Those people lost their homes, their families, and, for most of them, their lives. They all just went through what I went through. Something no one should ever have to go through in the first place! What kind of messed up world is this?! Why must the world be so cruel and merciless- especially toward those who have done nothing to receive such cruelty and mercilessness?
All I could do then was just sit down with Mari, back against the cold, metal bars right where she was sitting and leaning her back on, and assume the same position she was in as I pulled my knees to my chest as well. If there were no bars, we'd be back-to-back right now. Despite the cold steel barrier between us, I could still feel her body generating heat as it was emanating and breaking through the barrier and providing a somewhat comforting warmth.
"Mari?" I quietly speak up. "What kind of world are we living in?"
"A far from perfect one, Simin. I can tell you that much." She answers just as quietly with a heavy exhale.
I still can't believe another village has been destroyed. The fact that I know what all those people went through (especially the survivors if there are any) only makes it feel that much worse. I'd cry, but my eyes are completely dry. The world took all the tears I had out of me for the time being. I just don't think I can produce any tears right now, even if I tried.
My thoughts were suddenly interrupted as I then I felt a comforting, warm, soft hand rest on mine.
"Are you going to be okay, Simin?" Mari asks comfortingly, still in the position she adopted when she sat down. With my eyes still vacant of any tears, I respond in a monotonous, calm voice.
"Yes. I think I'll be okay."
I'm going to have to be. This is the world we live in after all. It's only that I think I had just learned to fully accept it.
*CHAPTER END*
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/
Hey, everyone!
I have wonderful news! I have officially completed the writing for Volume 1 and am currently revising the last few chapters. Right now, I am halfway through revising chapter 17 and will have 18-20 to do after that. Now let's talk about this chapter.
Out of all the chapters, this was definitely one of the hardest ones to write, if not the hardest. This is also one of the two chapters I have the most mixed feelings toward. (Chapter 11 I have a lot of mixed feelings with, but we'll see what I mean by that in a couple weeks).
When I first started writing this chapter, it was originally meant to be divided into three separate chapters. But when I was revising it a while back, I thought to myself, "Wait. What am I thinking? No one is going to want to sit through three chapters straight of the same two people just sitting and talking in the same exact spot. That would be incredibly mundane." So I thought that the best thing to do was to compact it into one big chapter. However, I believe this decision might be a bit of a double-edged sword. By compacting it into one chapter, the plot progresses more quickly and keeps from getting too dull. But on the other hand, by doing that, I also run the risk of possibly rushing the development of the bond between Mari and Simin.
This was also probably the most heavily edited chapter this volume. This final cut is very, very different than the original version. Since this was one of the largest dialogue only chapters in the volume as well as my first time writing a dialogue of this size, there were a lot of things that I scrubbed out, added in, or moved around. Here are a couple of the things I ended up scrubbing out of the chapter completely:
1. There was going to be an exchange where Simin tells Mari that he wanted to kill Raven. Even though I thought it would be a pretty cool and interesting concept for a plot, it didn't really fit with the overall story I wanted to tell for this volume and would have required me to make a drastic change on Simin's character and the plot. This is meant to be the act where Simin is supposed to bounce back from what he went through and I thought having Simin plot to kill Raven would have sort of undone and contradicted most of that. (However they will have their rematch with when the time comes)
2. I was also going to have Simin plan on joining Raven's tribe with the intent on making it past the Winter and leaving when Spring came, but I took that out because it would have been shot down anyway when Mari breaks the news to him so it would have been a bit pointless to introduce a possible plot point like that only to just straight up canonically scrap it within the narrative.
Also I want to give a heads up for next chapter and it's kinda sort of a spoiler so if you don't want a spoiler, then just skip this paragraph. In the next chapter, I will be sort of reintroducing aura and semblances. But I'm going to change some things. For starters, I'm taking out the rule that aura can protect you from cold and keep you warm. The reason why is because I want to make Winter clothes when the time comes. Literally, that is the only reason. I just want some Winter clothes. I'm also coming up with a rule that passive semblances (i.e. Qrow's misfortune semblance) do not require aura to function and can still work despite the user having no aura left and that passive semblances are unlocked the moment the user of said passive semblance is born. My reasons for making up this rule specifically has to do with the fight between Tyrian vs Qrow in Volume 4 where his bad luck was still in effect despite his aura having been broken in that fight (hence why Qrow yelled at Ruby for jumping into the fight, to which Ruby responds with "This is my fight too!" and then Qrow responds with "No it's not that.", which was him referring to his bad luck semblance even though his aura had already broken, which lead to me coming up with the theory that passive semblances don't take aura to use and are completely independent of it). I'll elaborate more in chapter 11 on the other things. It will for the most part be like how it is in the series, but I just want to make some very, very minimal tweaks for now. However, I will be expanding much more on aura in Volume 2 and do some of my own things with it that I think are more out there, but that is something I will save for another time.
Also next chapter, we'll meet another oc of mine. You'll either like her or dislike her because she's meant to be a bit of a minor comedic character and I have never really written a comedic character before, so this will be interesting for both of us. Her backstory is also depressing as hell and we will find that out when we get to the anthology chapters. Anyway, I felt I needed a minor comedic character to add some emotional balance to the story and bring a bit of light-heartedness in it considering everything that's happened in the first half of this volume, which has been nothing short of a tragedy so far for Simin. Now I have no idea why I'm bringing this up now, but I guess it's because I'm a little nervous on how she might be received. In case anyone doesn't know, it's the compulsive gambler who sucks at gambling and likes to call Simin by a nickname she made up. I think I brought her up in chapter 8's end notes. Anyway, I hope you'll like her when we meet her.
Anyway, here's fun fact #10:
Fun Fact #10: The very last scene where Mari and Simin sat back to back with the bars between them was a last minute addition. Also Mari's last name is Varep. I made that her last name for a specific reason.