SLVR

by saundersmarcelo

If you watch RWBY, then chances are you are familiar or have heard of the popular fan made team known as Team SLVR, created by Mark Zhang. In my first ever fanfiction (which is set in the main series/timeline of RWBY), this story will follow the lives of Simin Megistus and his team (Lycan Arcadia, Vella Moisia, and Ragora Cinarum).

14. Volume I:Ch13: The Shepherd & His Flock

(Quick note before we begin: I highly, highly recommend reading this chapter in parts instead of reading it in one go. This is an absolute behemoth of a chapter and it is a very slow burn)

Volume I: Chapter XIII: The Shepherd and His Flock:

"Man, it's cold out here!" I think out loud, as Raven and I trudge on through the snow that was now sitting well above our ankles and just beyond the halfway point to my knees.

The way she walked through the snow was almost effortless as she created one continuous rut throughout our journey while I pretty much kept getting caught in the ankle-high elements as I was not very used to hiking through snow. Something tells me if I wasn't tagging along, she would be able to cover much more distance much more quickly.

It's a good thing I had my snow boots on me otherwise I'd probably get frostbite from the snow that would have gotten in my normal shoes if I had chosen to wear them. Still slightly shivering, I practically wrap my arms around myself as I pull my jacket tighter around me as an attempt for extra warmth. Due to the intense cold today, the jacket didn't exactly do much in making me warm, but it still beats not having one at all and getting hypothermia or frostbite. It would be so convenient if aura could just automatically keep me warm. Then I wouldn't need Winter clothes and wouldn't have to worry about the cold. But unfortunately that's not the case. But, if it's any consolation, at least aura doesn't attract grimm.

"That better not be complaining I hear!" Raven called back to me in response to my comment, with an annoyed tone, still keeping her gaze mostly ahead of her as she slightly turned her head back to me.

"I wasn't complaining! I was just… pointing out the obvious is all." I say that second part a bit quietly, but still audible enough for her to hear.

In response, Raven let out a light sigh as her breath exited the slits of her mask as she turned her head back forward. Though I couldn't see her face, I could tell she was rolling her eyes at my response. I wonder how she sees through that thing. Does it even help keep her face warm? Speaking of warm, I wonder how warm her jacket is.

"So… are you not cold at all?" I ask, trying to create some dialogue between us, but also for an ulterior reason as well.

"Not really, no." Raven replied bluntly as she made it clear through her tone that she didn't feel like having conversation, yet still going along with it (most likely just to appease me so I can leave her alone).

"Well then you must have a very good jacket, I take it. After all, it looks reeeally comfortable and soft. I bet it must be so warm under there-"

"Simin, I'm not giving you my jacket so stop. You should have bundled up more before we headed out."

"Dammit! She caught on to me! So much for that."

A brief period of awkward silence passed between us as we marched on, listening to the soft crunch of the snow beneath our feet. We had been travelling for a while now. About eight hours straight with no rest. Whomever this person is, wherever we're going, it must be pretty urgent. I wish she'd fill me in a bit more, but she's been very dismissive of the subject everytime I bring it up. I'm still trying to figure out what she meant by that when she said, "there's no point in getting acquainted with the dead." Are we visiting someone's grave or something?

To distract myself from this itching question, I then take a look at the cloud infested sky and our surroundings. The sun must be setting. Although the gray screen of clouds was blocking out the sun, I was still able to tell it was starting to get dark. The air is getting colder, which means night was approaching and our surroundings were becoming a slightly darker shade of gray with every minute that passed. I hope we won't be travelling over night too. We won't be able to tell where we're going if we do. She may be strict, but I know she's not crazy… I hope.

"So uh, how long until we reach this person?" I ask, trying to keep up with her as I noticed the snow was starting to slow me down.

"Today is the 28th, right? Well if we keep going at this pace, we should be able to get there tomorrow sometime between 10 a.m. and 2 p.m." She answered.

"Oh, okay." I say with a neutral voice as I didn't even bother complaining.

That's the most I've gotten out of her with this subject all day.

"You're used to this, aren't you?" Raven asked as she slowed her pace a bit for me to catch up.

"What do you mean?" I ask for clarification.

"Being out here. Travelling long distances, no breaks, harsh environments." She clarified for me.

"Well I did spend over a month surviving out here after all. I had to get used to it. I didn't have a choice. Though it wasn't snowing then, so the cold wasn't really much of a worry for me." I say as I closed the distance between us, now walking right beside her.

I looked back at the prints I had left behind as well as the rut Raven left in the snow-covered forest as nature was already gently placing a fresh blanket of snow over them. It's really coming down on us. I hope we don't get lost. But then again, even if we do, I'm still with Raven, so I'm confident that we'll still be fine.

Just then, a breeze of cold air ran through the forest like a truck as the cold blast hit me like a punch to the face, getting snow in my eyes in the process and making it a bit hard for me to see. Instinctively, due to the snow blocking my sight, I briefly grabbed Raven's sleeve to keep myself from getting separated from her. When the gust of wind died down, I let go. I glance up at Raven after realizing what I did, expecting a scolding or scathing remark, but it seems she didn't notice me grabbing her sleeve. Maybe the jacket is so thick she couldn't feel it? Or perhaps, the blast was so cold, she was too distracted to notice? Speaking of it being cold, I'm pretty curious about something I've always wanted to try. I wonder, if I were to spit on the ground would it freeze in mid-air before hitting its target? Hmm.

With that thought I put my curiosity into action and build a decent amount of spit in my mouth and start to move it around with my tongue. Once I have built up enough, I slightly open my lips and move the ball of saliva to the opening before spitting it out of my mouth like a cannon shooting a cannonball. To my disappointment, it didn't freeze in mid-air like I hoped it would. The glob of spit hit the snow still maintaining its liquid form throughout its short journey from my mouth as it splattered upon making contact with its landing point. Well… at least I got my answer.

"Simin?" I heard Raven say next to me.

"Yes?" I replied looking up to her as her gaze was pointed at me.

"What was that?" She asked, sounding like a parent trying to get their child to confess to something they already know they did.

"I- uh, what do you mean?" I ask her.

"What you just did." She clarified.

"I-I...um...It was so cold, I was curious to see if my saliva would freeze in mid-air if I spit it out... So I did.. ...It didn't work." I said, adopting a quiet tone as I felt a slight sense of nervousness and guilt come over me a bit as I looked away.

"Simin?"

"Y-yes?" I responded, willing myself to look back at her.

"Don't do that again."

"...Okay..."

….ANYWAY… let's change the subject. Raven was dressed a bit differently as well to combat the cold of this harsh Winter weather. She was wearing a small, thick, red and black, hooded jacket that stopped at around the top of her thighs with pieces of fur at the ends of the sleeves and lining around the hood and the bottom as well. However, she always kept the hood down since she was wearing her mask, which allowed her long, black hair to blow in the wind every time a cold breeze would travel by. To cover her legs, she had a pair of black leggings (or "compressed winter pants" as she called them). She can give them whatever fancy name she wants, but they're still just leggings at the end of the day. The leggings had built-in thermal pads (probably filled with heat dust, which is essentially crystals that contain elemental abilities like ice, water, lightning, etc.). They also had a reddish hue, which I could tell were red because you could barely make out a faint crimson color within the fabric if you looked hard enough. The built-in thermal pads were mainly around the thigh and calf areas. She didn't really wear anything different for her hands and pretty much sported the same red gauntlets with the spike protruding at the elbows of each that she always wore. But as for her footwear, she donned a pair of black, fur snow boots lined with red laces.

As we continued to trudge on, I noticed Raven slow her pace some more before coming to a complete stop.

"I think we're good here for tonight." She says as we eventually stop near a boulder surrounded by a few trees.

"You mean we're finally going to rest?" I ask, slightly winded from the thin, cold air.

Yes." She confirmed.

"Alright." I say casually even though I was slightly celebrating on the inside.

"Oh thank the gods! Now I can finally take a bre-"

"But I need you to go hunt for our dinner, alright?"

"DAMMIT!"

"Something small like maybe a couple rabbits or something." She suggested. "Also, judging from the looks of it, we have about an hour before it gets completely dark, so I need you back within that time. Got it?"

"Okay, but what are you going to do while I'm gone?" I ask with curiosity in my voice.

"I'm going to set up camp and build us a fire. There isn't really anything for us to sleep under, so I will take care of that in the meantime." She said looking around for some resources she could use.

"In just an hour? How can you do that so fast by yourself? Also what are you going to use? I don't really see-"

Before I could finish my sentence, she draws her sword and hacks down one of the trees as it fell with a loud, low crack... in a single slash... with one arm. For a few seconds I was left in a state of shock and awe.

"What in the world?! Just how strong is this woman?! Not even Vernal is anywhere near that level of strength! I have a long way to go."

"Why are you still here?" Raven says, snapping me out of my speechless, awe-inspired state.

"Oh! Uh, right. I-I'll start hunting now." I say as I turn to head off.

"Yeah, you do that." Raven remarked as I started walking away.

"Oh and Simin, one more thing!" Raven calls out, catching me just before I got out of ear shot. "Don't use your ammo!"

In response, I give her a thumbs up before I turn back into my previous direction and then disappear into the pale, white wilderness as Raven worked on setting up our shelter.

"Why wouldn't she want me to use ammo? Is she just trying to give me a handicap to test me? Or maybe she thinks I'm going to need it later?"

. . .

After about 20 minutes of wandering out here trying to find something to get us through the night, I couldn't find any signs of life and was starting to get frustrated.

"Ugh! This is ridiculous! I have about forty minutes left and I still haven't found anything. Is hunting in Winter always this difficult? There's got to be something out here right?"

After finishing my brief little tirade, I pull out my knife and turn to the tree adjacent to me.

"Okay this is tree number what? 18, I think? Yeah, I think it's 18."

I then use mom's knife to carve the number 18 into the bark of the tree as a way to make sure I don't get lost and that I can find my way back (which I've been doing to some of the other trees I've passed as well). After that, I mentally take a couple steps back and start to reassess my situation as I examine the conditions of my surroundings before continuing my trek through the Winter dominated forest.

Okay, let's see. The rate of the snowfall has lightened since coming out here, which means it should be easier for me to find any fresh tracks before they get covered up. But I have about forty minutes of light left. My time may have decreased, but it seems my chances of finding prey have increased as well. So long as I don't waste any time, I am bound to find some tracks soon. I just need to be quick about this because I don't know what's worse: getting lost in the woods at night during Winter or returning to Raven empty handed- especially after keeping her waiting, which would already be bad enough. I don't think I want to find out.

I keep walking around paying close attention to the snow for any prints before I end up coming across a small tree to rest for a second or two.

As I was about to get moving again, I hear a light, but audible, snap come from above followed by my head lightly being tapped by some small object. I look down and see that it is a broken twig. Something just moved in the trees. And judging from the movement of the branches and the twig that just fell, it was probably a grey squirrel (since those are active during Winter) that had just leapt from another branch and scampered to the base of the tree.

"Finally, I found something!"

I could lightly hear the tiny scratching sounds of its claws on the tree bark as it climbed around. Eventually, the bushy-tailed creature rears its head as it makes another round before stopping. Now's my chance. I pull out one of my weapons and take aim, holding my breath as I do so. Just before I pulled the trigger, my brain hit me with a reminder: Raven specifically told me not to use my ammo.

"Dammit! Looks like I'm going to have to do this old fashioned way: climbing."

(Sigh.)

I really wish dad and I had spent more time on tree climbing during our lessons Even though I'm not the biggest fan of heights, it's something that would have proven to be useful in times like this. Now let's see. How am I going to climb this thing?

I take a look around the tree and see there is another fallen tree right next to it that would make a useful ramp or a running start.

"That'll work." I mutter to myself in response to the convenience standing before me.

After checking the surface for any ice and scraping off what might hinder my chances of succeeding in what I'm about to do, I take a few steps back and start ro run forward up the fallen tree. As soon as I reach the end of it, I hop off and leap toward one of the branches of the tree my prey was still resting on and grab onto a low branch. The snow almost made me lose my grip, but I still managed to pull myself up as I went with my momentum.

One by one, I make my way up the tree as I place each gloved hand around a branch and pull myself closer and closer to my prey while mentally repeating the message "Don't look down" to myself over and over again. Normally, I'd use the sai to pull myself up, but they feel awkward when wearing gloves because it's hard to get a feel for them. And yeah, I could just take my gloves off, but no. It's freezing out here. My hands will be numb by the time I reach my target.

I try not to let the squirrel notice me, but it's a bit difficult given my position. All I can really do is try to get close enough before it has a chance to jump anywhere. Slowly, but surely, I manage to get close enough to land a killing blow on it. I then pull out the knife while sitting on my current branch and, with one arm securing me in my position, I pull my arm back, ready to plunge the blade into my prey. But just when I was about to plunge the knife into the squirrel's body, my ears perk up in response to an approaching flapping sound. Next thing you know, a hawk swooped in from my peripheral vision and snatched up the squirrel, almost knocking me off the tree in the process. Earlier, I was frustrated. Now, I'm just absolutely irate as my malice-filed eyes follow the hawk as it disappears in the trees.

I take a deep breath to prevent myself from exploding since it just stole my kill.

After a few moments of trying to regain my bearings, I then hear what sounds like something of considerable size land on the top of the tree.

"Please tell me that's what I think it is?"

I look up and I see the hawk perched at the top of the tree by a nest. Seeing this, instantly brought my spirits back up as it must have circled back and landed up here.

I'm going to have to be more careful now. It may be on the same tree, saving me the time of looking for something else, but this is a hawk I'm confronting and I'm not in the position to do much besides climb and try to kill it. But it's a risk I'll have to take. Besides, this hawk will provide much more than what the squirrel could have offered.

I put my knife away and begin climbing higher up the tree toward the hawk's position. As I started closing the gap between us, the bird began to spread its wings in an attempt to intimidate me and get me to back off as it let out a small screech. Yeah, that's not happening. I am much more afraid of what Raven will do if I come back empty-handed than what the hawk could do to me if I keep going. I kept climbing higher, one sai now in hand, until I was at a distance that I could thrust my weapon into it and kill it for dinner.

Just as I was about to do so, the bird of prey lunged at me with its hooked, dagger-like talons. In the heat of the moment, I panicked and ended up blocking them… with my arm. That hurt a lot, especially since the panic combined with the anxiety I was already feeling due to my fear of heights made me drop my aura for a split second, meaning my arm is currently being shredded by the winged predator as its sharp talons hooked into my arm. That was my first mistake.

I felt the claws sink into my arm, creating a burning sensation, as it pierced my jacket and skin. As the warm blood flowed from my freezing arm, my sleeve got more and more soaked, the hawk relentless in its assault. Amidst the panic, I used my other arm to pull out my other sai and thrust the weapon straight into the hawk's chest as it let out a pained shriek, piercing its heart and quickly killing it. My feeling of relief sharply turned into that of dread as I realized, that was my second mistake once my body started succumbing to the laws of gravity.

"SHIT! SHIT! SHIT!"

It hadn't dawned on me until after the fact that killing the hawk right then and there was a rash move without much thought put behind it. The thing may no longer be attacking me, but now that I used my other arm to kill the hawk, there was nothing holding me onto the tree anymore and I couldn't do much with my other arm due to the injuries and the dead hawk still having its talons securely hooked into my arm. I try grabbing onto anything, but it's already too late. I'm now officially plummeting to the snowy ground.

I'd activate my aura to take the blow for me, but remember when I said that moments of panic and surprise make it difficult for me to focus and engage in my aura? Well… I'm feeling pretty fucking panicked right now! So I am having a lot of difficulty trying to focus.

After everything I've been through in the past few months and after all my training, am I really going to go out because of a stupid mistake and a damned bird causing me fall to my death? I can't focus! No matter what I do, I'm going to hit the ground and I'm going to hit it hard. But... that doesn't necessarily mean it will kill me. I have to slow myself down just enough to be able to take the blow before it's too late. I only have one shot, so I need to make it count.

In a split second decision, with my free arm, I pull the sai out of the hawk's carcass, and hook it around a small nearby branch. Due to the velocity at which I was falling, the small branch bent, slowing my fall before giving and snapping. Judging from the distance I am from the ground and my velocity decreasing, I should be able to hit the ground now without any major injuries. Now to let gravity do the rest of the work and hope for the best.

My 63 pound (28.6 kg) body (not including the hawk still hooked to my arm) hit the snow covered ground with a heavy, muffled thump as my entire body instantly felt numb as I landed right on my back, the wind completely knocked out of me.

"Am I dead?" I thought.

I lay there for a few minutes while staring at the cloudy sky, trying to catch my breath as I wiggle my fingers to get some feeling into them. It wasn't until after a couple minutes that the pain started to set in as the adrenaline slowly died down, a clear indicator that I was most certainly not dead.

I slowly pick myself up as I unhook the hawk's talons from my skin and brush the snow off my body before looking up at where I fell from. That fall had to be at least 70 feet (21.3 meters). I guess that training I've been doing has really helped my durability a bit as well. If it were me 3 months ago taking that fall, I most likely would have died or at the very least, be horribly mangled.

Now that I am no longer concerned about falling to my death, I am now reminded of the wounds on my arms in the form of a growing red spot on the snow as well as a burning sensation that causes me to wince and breathe sharply as I grit my teeth. I take a look at my arm and see the open chasms of flesh with flowing crimson rivers the hawk left behind on me. I should get Raven to look at this. I had only unlocked my aura recently (about a month and a half ago) and it isn't strong enough yet to the point that it can heal these types of wounds- well I mean it can heal these wounds, but it's just that it will take a lot longer compared to those who have a better handling of their aura as well as a larger amount of it. I can heal small scratches and scrapes and stuff, but this is going to need some extra assistance. But if I activate it now, it should be able to get some of the healing done and then maybe Raven can patch up the rest when I get back. As for any bruises I may have received from the fall, those should be mostly cleared up by then.

But on the bright side, I didn't die, I got us dinner in the form of a hawk, and I still have time to spare. If my arm weren't torn to shreds right now, I'd honestly feel a lot better. Before heading back, I pick up my prize by its feet after putting my weapons away and examine it.

"Now then,..." I say, a bit out of breath. "...let's get you back to Raven."

. . .

Later That Night:

The sun had now set on us as Raven and I sat in the pitch black forest with the campfire she had built being our only source of light and heat outside of what we were wearing. When I returned from my hunt, hawk in hand, I was greeted by the sight of Raven stoking the fire she had built for us and a lean-to shelter she had constructed, using the boulder as a support. Once she spotted me approaching, she met me halfway and asked what took me so long, but then cut herself off once she noticed the wounds on my arm. However, she didn't look mortified or had any concern in her voice when asking me about my injuries. If anything, she sounded slightly annoyed when she pulled me over to treat me as if me being injured was just an inconvenience. However, despite the front she put on, I couldn't help but notice her actions and movements when treating me were somewhat urgent as they resembled something akin to a mother's reaction to seeing her own child injured. I guess Mari wasn't kidding when she said Raven saw us as her family.

"You should have been more careful, Simin. I'm not always going to be there to patch you up." Raven said with a lecturing tone as she pulls a chunk of meat off the roasted hawk.

"I know, I know." I try to assure her.

"I mean it, Simin." She replied sternly.

"Look, I panicked and forgot to engage my aura for a second, okay? But I was in a high place and the hawk atta-"

"Do not give me excuses! You said it yourself, you panicked! Leave it at that. I don't care where you were or what happened. Fact of the matter is you let yourself panic and in the process, you made a lapse in judgement that could have cost you your life. Whether it be anger, fear, anxiety, you cannot panic or let your emotions get to you in those situations and allow yourself to make mistakes like that. Do you understand me?"

"But-"

"Don't!" She said, quickly shutting me down. Though she didn't say it loudly, the stern forcefulness of that one word rang through me like a gavel being slammed in a courtroom.

"Simin…" She continued. "Excuses won't get you anywhere except that much closer to an early grave. So do not give me that. Now back to what I was saying: if you panic and let your emotions get to you to the point that they overwhelm and control you, then you make yourself more prone to these things happening, especially at your expense. For example, remember when we first met? You let your emotions get to you and in a fit of rage, you attacked and murdered six of my own tribe members and then blindly made an attempt on myself... and you know where that got you? Knocked unconscious as you were bleeding out from a severe bullet wound- put aside the fact that I could have just killed you right then and there or left you to die if I felt like it.

"Because you let your emotions get to you, you made a rash decision and almost tossed your life away in the process. The point is, you can't allow your emotions to become your weakness. Learn to control them better and don't allow yourself to be overcome by them. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

"Yes, Raven." I say quietly after listening to her lecture.

I guess she does have a point. I do tend to let my emotions get to me and more than once, I've come close to dying or at the very least, was put in a dire situation. I nearly lost my life in Dorado when I panicked and froze after seeing that beowolf attack that man and the same thing almost happened again in Oniyuri. Then there was Raven's example where I charged those six guys blindly and ended up getting shot because I wasn't thinking clearly. She isn't wrong, that's for sure. But going back to how she decided not to kill me, there's a burning question that I need to ask her about later.

"I will give you this though: that was some quick thinking to slow down your fall to lessen the impact." Raven added.

"Is that praise I hear?" I try to tease to lighten the mood.

"Don't push it." Raven said, quickly shutting me down again as I instantly retracted a bit. "I'm just giving credit where it is due."

Still it is unusual to get any kind of praise from Raven of all people.

"Thank you. And thank you for patching my arm up too." I say a bit timidly as I changed my tone, trying to go with the momentum to shift the mood change of the conversation.

In response, Raven pulls a piece of meat from her hawk leg and places it in her mouth, completely ignoring my thanks.

"So this aura thing…" I continue. "...you said it could essentially heal all wounds?"

"MOST wounds." She corrected me as she downed her piece. "If you were to lose an arm or get shot somewhere very vital like the heart for example, you are as good as dead. There isn't enough aura that you can engage that will heal that."

"Okay. But it still protects me from damage so if I had my aura activated beforehand and I get hit in one of those places, I'd still be fine right?" I ask her.

"I know what you're getting at, Simin, and that isn't a mindset I would recommend adopting. Just because it protects you doesn't mean it's an excuse to get reckless. Your aura can break if enough damage is dealt and you won't be able to activate it again until it recharges. So just to be safe, let me run down the rules again:

1. Without your aura engaged, you are susceptible to physical injury and harm.

2. But if you were to get injured without your aura engaged and you activate your aura after receiving said injuries, they will heal (unless it's a mortal wound or any severe wound).

3. If your aura is already activated, it will take damage for you and protect you from any physical harm (but you can still feel pain).

4. But if your aura takes too much damage, it will break and that will also make you vulnerable to injury and you won't be able to activate it again until it fully recharges.

5. Lastly, semblances (except passive ones) can drain aura, which means you need to use them in moderation.

As long as you can remember those 5 basic rules of aura, you should be fine."

"Just curious- and this might be a dumb question- but you know how you said aura is the manifestation of your soul?"

"Yes." Raven said, allowing me to continue.

"Does that mean your soul is basically being moved out of your body and taking a physical form?"

"Well-"

"And if that's the case, then doesn't that mean your soul is literally taking hits for you?"

"Well-"

"And if your soul takes hits doesn't that mean your soul itself is taking damage?"

"Simin-"

"And if it takes too much damage and it breaks, then doesn't your soul get destroyed and cause you to die?"

"Simin, let me-"

"And what if it gets drained from using-"

"SIMIN!" She shouted, now annoyed.

I immediately shut up with a bit of a startled yelp.

"Slow down… shut up… and let me answer your question." Raven spoke as she lowered her voice to that of the tone of a low growl.

"Sorry." I muttered.

"Okay, I'll admit what I told you is the textbook definition and, yeah, it's a bit vague in how it's worded. So allow me to get more into detail as to how your aura gets generated and what is your aura really. Let me put it this way: your aura isn't necessarily your actual soul being generated around you, but rather a… uh… a proxy of sorts."

"A proxy?" I ask.

"Yes, a proxy. A substitute. A stand-in. You are not moving your soul outside your body, but rather you are tapping into your soul and harnessing the spiritual energy it emits to generate a barrier outside your body. And as we already know, the more mastery you have of your aura, the more of it you can generate. In other words, the more spiritual energy you can harness from tapping into your soul, the more aura you can generate. And the more aura you can generate, the faster it'll heal your wounds and the more it will protect you as it will last longer and allow you to push your semblance more. So your soul is still inside of you, Simin, but your aura is created by the energy that your soul emits, not the soul itself. And you are tapping into your soul and harnessing that energy to create that barrier. Let me use this metaphor on you just for good measure. Let's say your soul is a "generator", your soul's energy is "power", and your aura is "energy" while your semblance, healing factor, and protection are the "function" that the amount of "energy" you have allows to occur. When you start running low on "energy", or if your "energy" runs out, your "functions" will be disabled. But your "generator" will still work and will need to create more "power" so that it will restore "energy" and your "functions" will be enabled again. Your soul creates the spiritual energy that makes up your aura and enables you to use your semblance. Does that answer your question?"

"So it's like a system!"

"Yes! Exactly! Now you're getting it." Raven says like a teacher who had just gotten through to her student.

"So is there a limit to how much aura you can have activated at a time or that you can use?"

"Technically no. Your soul, on its own, is constantly generating spiritual energy. That means we actually have an infinite supply of energy to use to generate our aura. It's just that we can't really harness a lot of it at a time. Just enough to create a functioning protective aura and unlock and use our semblance -obviously not including those with passive semblances. But, as I just said, you actually have an infinite amount of spiritual energy. We all do. However, one thing you should note is that your soul only generates the energy needed to create your aura when it is not activated."

"So we have an infinite amount of spiritual energy, but we can only use so much to create an aura. Is it possible to tap further into your soul to harness more of your spiritual energy? And if that were to happen, how would it affect your aura? How far could someone push their aura if they could? Would there be other things that you could utilize your aura for other than what you just said?" I ask, my childlike curiosity toward something that still feels so new to me getting the better of me.

"As far as my knowledge goes, no. And if there was, I would have told you already. Everything that I've said to you regarding aura and semblances as well as what I've just told you is everything that I know." Raven says, answering my question.

"Oh, okay… Thanks, I guess..." I say, a bit disappointed.

I was kinda hoping she'd say yes. I'd love to see what other things people could do with aura. It probably would have been really cool or interesting.

"So Simin, I never really asked: how long were you out there before I ran into you?" Raven asked, changing the subject of the conversation after a few moments of silence, completely ignoring my thanks as she pulled off another piece of meat and put it in her mouth and quickly consumed it.

"A month and a half." I say bluntly.

This is almost starting to sound like that one conversation I had with Mari when I was in the cage… complete with a hint of awkwardness. I guess Raven isn't used to casual conversation since every time she speaks, it's usually with a somewhat authoritative tone or demeanor. Now that she's in a more casual setting, that authority she usually carries herself with just feels out of place here and she probably knows it, but still adopts it anyway since it's most likely what she's used to using. However, that's not to imply that I'm not contributing to the awkwardness at all. I'm also not exactly used to being in this kind of setting with Raven, so this is a little off putting to me as well.

"That long, huh? Well it's obvious you didn't learn the skills to have lasted that long on your own given your age and stature, which makes me wonder: who taught you?" Raven continued the conversation, which felt more like an interrogation given her demeanor as she leaned a bit close for my answer.

"My father." I answer, going along with it. "I owe it to him for teaching me the things I know. Honestly, I would have died within a couple days if it wasn't for him."

"So it was your father, huh?"

"Yes." I confirm.

"Did he ever teach you how to climb a tree?" Raven says, taking a bit of a verbal jab at me for earlier.

"We never spent too much time on that part." I answer back, causing Raven to slightly pause as if she was taken aback by something she wasn't expecting me to say.

"Did I say something wrong? Was she not expecting me to answer that?"

"... I can't tell if you're being a smartass or if you were serious with that response."

"What do you mean?" I respond with a bit of a curious look on my face.

I was being serious though. I guess my comment inadvertently came off as witty?

"Nevermind" Raven dismisses. "So, if you don't mind me asking, out of all the things your father taught you, whether that be a skill or some kind of lesson, which is the one that you value the most?"

"Probably the last thing. He told me that there would eventually come a day where being weak would no longer be an option. And that when that day comes I need to be strong enough to rely on myself in order to survive and fight for the life that I want, as well as be able to fight for those that I want to live alongside. It was a lesson that ended up quickly turning into reality the same night it was given to me." I say with a somber tone as my breath visibly exits my mouth and disappears into the light of the fire.

"I noticed you said the words, 'the life that I want'. What would you consider to be the life that you want?" Raven asked curiously.

"I… I don't know." I muttered. The life I want I already had. But then it got ripped away from me. I thought I could get it back, but that hoe ended up getting ground into dust. At this point, I don't know what I want exactly anymore.

"Speak up." Raven requested.

"I don't know." I repeat with a more audible tone.

"You don't know?" Raven said almost mockingly as she almost chuckled to herself and folded her arms across her chest as she leaned back a bit to her original posture.

"No." I answered bluntly, quickly picking up on her mocking tone.

"Well I think you do, but you just haven't realized it yet." My interrogator continues, still pressing the subject. "Clearly there is something that drives you given the amount of strength and determination you've shown in the past. What is your motivation? What is your end goal?"

"I'm just trying to live at this point." I say, trying to shut down her interrogation.

"Everyone is trying to live, Simin. But not everyone is trying for the same reason. We all have our own reasons and motivations to keep going. So I will ask you again: What are yours? What is your end goal? What is the life you want?"

"... I guess I don't have any." I answered stubbornly.

"Simin, don't lie to yourself. If you didn't have a reason to live, then you would have been dead by now. You would have just spat in my face and slapped my hand away the day I stuck it out to you. Your actions have shown me that you do have a reason. Otherwise for what reason are you still pushing and trying to grow? Simin, if you ask me- and this is just my opinion- you do have a reason. It's just that you haven't found it yet, but you know it's out there and you're still looking for it. There is something you're fighting for, Simin. Something you're longing for. What your purpose is. You just feel lost right now and you don't know what it is yet. But it's there. You'll find your way sooner or later. Again, that's just my opinion. You know yourself better than anyone, but that's just what I think."

I went a bit silent as I reflected on her words.

Maybe she's right. Maybe it's not that I don't have a reason, it's that I just haven't figured out what it is yet. But what could that reason even be? I don't even know what it is exactly that I want- what I'm longing for. Anything I could think of that I want, I already lost and can't have anymore as I've already given up on that. So what do I want? Is it purpose? Is it fellowship? Is it something to fight for? Is it someone to fight for? Or maybe what I want is something I know I can't have- something that will always be out of reach no matter how high I go? I feel like a dart that's been thrown in a dark room and somewhere in that room, on one of those walls, is a target. I'll only find out if I end up hitting it or not once my journey ends.

It feels so weird and... almost unnatural getting any kind of encouragement or support from Raven. I mean, I guess she's always been kind of supportive in a way, but it was always in a more strict and harsh kind of way if that makes sense. Almost like a parent that's always tough on you because they want to see the best from you. Although I'd hardly consider Raven parent material- not that I would ever say that to her face because I value my life. Anyway, this is a much more tame side to her compared to what I normally am used to seeing. I guess she's starting to settle into the casual setting.

"So anyway, how about I rephrase the question to at least help narrow it down?" Raven tries again. "Instead of telling me the life you want, how about this: what is the life you don't want? Of all the lives you could live, what is the one you want the least? What is a life that you dread living- a life that makes you shudder just by simply visualizing it?"

Upon hearing that, I think for a few seconds.

"A life that I would never want to live, essentially. What could that be? I mean, it could be a lot of things, but which one would I fear living the most? I guess to find that out is to go over what I've lost and what I've been through since Dorado. Let's start with my mother's death. Ever since she died, I've been holding onto her knife ever since as it is the only I have to remember her by. It's my most valued possession and I even got into a fight with a guy for it and almost killed him. Without it, I lose the last thing that reminds me of my mother and I don't know what I would do with it. You could almost say it's like a security blanket of sorts.

"Now moving onto my father. When I found him murdered, I was left in a state of shock and despair. It was to the point that I briefly deluded myself that it was just a dream as I tried to desperately wake myself up only to be greeted by the tragic reality.

"Then there's the loss of my home where not long after, the grimm destroyed my home as I was completely helpless as a friend sacrificed himself to save me. After that, I made it my goal to try and get my old life back and go to Oniyuri. But it was a ghost town when I arrived and I was hit with the reality that my old life was gone forever.

"But I still had Bruno, who was pretty much my best friend and all that I had left at that point. I was emotional when I found him again on that beach after I thought I had lost everyone I cared about. When I saw that I still had him, I was desperate to keep him as he was the only one left. When we made it to Oniyuri, I ended up fighting a beowolf to the death despite being already injured at that time while amidst my trauma being triggered. I eventually killed the thing after that weird surge of energy in me that disappeared as quickly as it came and I threw my father's sai that took its leg clean off after I saw that it was about to kill Bruno. Bruno and I then were on our way to Kuroyuri, after I found that letter. But then Bruno was killed by bandits. And when I saw him dead, I just… snapped. I had lost everyone I had held dear to me. More importantly, I lost all hope. I felt that I had nothing left to lose and was ready to throw my life away once I felt I had nothing left anymore…

"I went through all of that just to get back what I lost and keep what I still had and I still ended up losing everything. I just stopped caring and hoping. My worst fears came true that day."

I think I just found my answer.

"If there is anything I dread more than the grimm, Raven," I answer her. "...If there is a life that I dread living, I guess it's being alone with everything I ever loved and valued gone from my life. A life where there is no hope. I'd much rather die than ever live a life like that. When I lost the last of my family, I thought I had nothing left to lose. I lost all hope and I was ready to throw my life away at that moment. And when you captured me, I was ready to decline your offer the moment you first presented it to me. The last thing I ever wanted was to be alone with no hope and when that happened, I hit my lowest point and fell into despair. Now that I know what it feels like, I don't ever want to go through it again."

As I gave her my answer, Raven looked dead focused as she seemed to be analyzing every word that came out of my mouth as they came out.

"So you don't want to be alone with nothing? I can understand that. So I take it, logically, that means whatever life you do want is one that involves regaining what you lost?"

"I guess so, yeah." I answer. "Obviously not literally since what I've already lost is never coming back. But I want to regain some semblance of it."

"Would you say that you've succeeded or at least close?" Raven asked me.

"I…um." I audibly stumble, paranoid that I might upset her a bit with my answer.

"You can be honest with me here, Simin. I won't get offended regardless of your answer. I just want to know." She assures me.

"No..." I mutter. "But I have hope that I can."

"Hope? I thought you said you lost hope." Raven points out. "So what's changed since then?"

I stayed a bit silent for a few moments.

"It's Mari, isn't it?" Raven interrogated.

"N-no..." I lie.

My reason for this lie is that I remember Mari telling me that she was specifically told not to interact with me when I was in that cage. If I said yes, Raven would have most likely realized Mari did interact with me then. It's not that I think Mari is going to get severely punished or anything, but I just don't want to get her in any kind of trouble.

"Oh, please, Simin, don't lie to me." Raven says with a bit of a smirk as she caught me red-handed, causing me to sweat a bit. "It's clear to me that she's played a major role in you staying. After all, you're attached to her like velcro. And that attachment shows because she's starting to rub off on you. Your lie was just about as bad as hers are. So… spill it." Raven told me as she dropped her tone to a more serious one as she was eager for an answer (though you wouldn't be able to tell from her body language). "In what ways has Mari rekindled this hope for you?"

With no other choice, I comply with Raven's demands.

"Well… it's just that… she was just so kind to me… even when I didn't want her anywhere near me." I say as I finger the grooves on the bark of the log I was sitting on. "For that entire month and a half, I spent it getting mentally, emotionally, and psychologically, pummeled until I finally snapped. When I was captured, I was ready to toss my life away and was just waiting to die. I simply didn't really see the point anymore. And then Mari ended up pulling me out of that proverbial pit. Despite how I treated her and kept trying to push her away, she kept trying. She wouldn't give up on me. Eventually, I gave her a chance. And in return, she gave me hope- hope that maybe there is something that makes it all worth it and that I should find out what it is. She was like a breath of fresh air, you know? Mari gave me a reason to keep going. That maybe, just maybe, things will get better. That maybe I can really get back what I lost. And I'm not going to give up because she didn't give up on me."

The more I hang around Mari, the more I realize she strongly resembles my mother in regards to her personality. She's kind, caring, understanding, empathetic, genuine, and honestly, she's easily one of the nicest people I've ever met (which is weird considering she's part of a bandit tribe, which isn't exactly the place you'd expect to find any kind of hospitality). I see so many of mom's qualities in her. Raven may be the reason why I didn't die that day, but Mari is the reason why I chose to keep living after that.

"Well, that's Mari for you. She has a very stubborn heart." She says like she was taking an indirect passive-aggressive shot. "Once she feels strongly toward something, she'll stick to it no matter what and will be completely set in her ways, ...which is very fortunate for you. But unfortunately for her, because of her stubbornness, she is also someone who is unwilling to change, even when the time calls for it." Raven said as she was referring to something.

"Well how do you know that?" I ask her.

"Just take my word for it." Raven suggested as her tone was clear she didn't feel like talking about whatever it was she was referring to.

"But-"

"It's best that you start eating now." She cut me off with slight irritation in her voice as she quickly changed the subject. "Your food's getting cold."

"Okay,... nevermind." I mutter, getting the hint, as she basically gave me a passive 'shut up and drop it'.

A small period of silence passed after that brief, awkward exchange (even though I was probably the only one who felt awkward). That was weird. She immediately dropped the topic about as fast as it was brought up. I wonder what was bothering her. Whatever it was, I don't want to pry. Raven's irritated tone was more than enough for shut me up.

Even in a casual setting, she seems to still intimidate me. Not as much as when she's actually trying to be intimidating, but still enough to feel a slight sense of caution around her. I guess it's just natural for her. Raven seems like the type of person who could be bloodied, battered, and injured and she would still give you a look that would make you think twice about making a move on her. I'm not sure if I'll ever get used to it. As I continued to eat from my hawk leg, I decided to wait for Raven to speak up next since I figured it would be better considering the note I left our last exchange on.

After a few minutes, she eventually did.

"About those weapons of yours." Raven says, changing the subject. "Am I correct to assume those were your father's?" She then points to the pair of sai.

"Yes." I say, again, bluntly. I couldn't help but notice she was also directing her attention to my knife, whose hilt was just poking out from my boot.

"And what about the knife? Was that your father's too"

"No. The knife belonged to my mother." I answer as I pulled it out to inspect it when she brought it up.

"Really? It's… very ornate." Raven says, as she extends her open hand for me to hand it to her.

"Yeah… it is." I half-answer as I was a bit lost gazing at the small blade in my hand.

"Mind if I take a closer look?" She asked.

"I... I don't know. It's something I hold very dear to me." I barely say as I place a protective hand over the hilt.

"Well if it means that much to you, then I will be extra careful, Simin." Raven tries

to assure me. "I assure you, I just want to examine it and then I'll immediately return it. Nothing more, nothing less."

"I-"

"Simin,..." She interrupted. "... I can tell you don't exactly fully trust me and I don't blame you. I can understand that considering the... color of my character. But let me remind you that you are part of my tribe now. I'm not your enemy. Not to mention this wouldn't be the first time your knife was in my possession and care. Remember when you got it back when you joined and it was good as new? I didn't have to do that, you know. And that was before I even knew how important it was to you."

(Sigh).

"I… I guess you have a point…" I say with reluctance in my voice.

"Don't worry. I'll even be quick about it- no more than 30 seconds- if it helps put you at ease." Raven says, still trying to reassure me.

I reluctantly stretch my arm out to the bandit leader, my most valuable possession resting in my grasp. Raven then proceeded to remove her glove as she reached out and took the knife from my hand, now putting it in her possession once more. As her hand slightly touched mine, I couldn't help but feel how cold she was.

I watch Raven closely as she examines the blade almost as if she were an appraiser determining the worth of a jewel. While she is doing this, I literally start mentally counting to 30 to make sure she doesn't try going beyond her time. She then runs her pale finger along the edge of the blade before reaching up to the crown of her head and plucking a strand of hair like a feather as she releases it, gently floating down and splitting as it touches the blade.

"Very sharp." She whispered quietly to herself.

She then held the blade closer toward the light of the fire (which I would be lying if I said that didn't make me break a sweat as I was ready to lunge and grab the blade if she accidentally dropped it). Her red eyes seemingly glowing in the fire, Raven started inspecting the floral design and blue tint that, in the light of the fire, gave the blade and design a bit of a glowing aura or halo of sorts around it. After she was done, she handed my blade back right as soon as I reached 30 just like she promised. Once I took the knife back, her hand slightly touched mine again in the process and I noticed it was a bit warmer (probably due to her holding it so close to the fire).

"I have to admit the craftsmanship is very elegant. Not to mention the sharpness of the blade." Raven said as I grasped the hilt of the knife and put it away.

"You know I almost lost it out in the wilderness one time." I add. "I ended up encountering a colossus when I tried to get it back. I barely escaped with my life. As for the colossus, it wasn't so lucky."

"Wait, you killed a colossus?" Raven asks with a bit of surprise in her voice as it seems like I may have impressed her.

"Well it was actually the rocks that killed it." I corrected her. "I just set it up."

"Oh." She states as she sounded a bit let down by my clarification. "Well, regardless, the fact you even survived an encounter with one of those is pretty impressive for someone of your age and size. I'm sure you found out the hard way how tough colossi are to kill?"

"I stabbed it in the neck and eyes, which I thought would be vital points, and it didn't even flinch!" I say with a sort of 'I know, right?!' tone.

"Yeah,..." Raven says as she stifles a chuckle at my response. "They also have a very high pain tolerance. They're almost like machines."

"I actually used that to my advantage."

"Really? Do tell." She says with curiosity.

"I stabbed it in the back of the knees to temporarily immobilize it and I used that as part of my plan to get it killed when I made it send a giant rock formation crashing down on its head after I gauged its power. Although I almost ended up getting buried with it. But obviously,..." I say gesturing to myself. "...that didn't happen."

"You're lucky they are about as strong as they are stupid. Otherwise, you might not have come out of that alive. Speaking of which, it seems like luck was the reason why you survived that encounter at all."

"Yeah, I think so too." I say as I rub the back of my neck and chuckle a bit. "If it weren't for a well timed, conveniently placed, falling jagged rock, we wouldn't be having this conversation. It was also in that fight that I ended up receiving my rib injuries, by the way."

"That reminds me: Speaking of injuries, how is your arm?" Raven gestures to my wrapped up arm.

"It feels... fine... I guess." I say, holding it in front of me and turning it like I was giving myself an examination "It doesn't hurt much anymore." I lightly rub the bandaged area.

"Let me see." Raven demands as she makes a hand motion for me to give her my arm.

I slowly roll up my sleeve and watch as Raven moves closer and takes my arm as she unravels the bloody bandage wrapped around my forearm. As I did, I noticed the gashes on my arm were now reduced to tiny little scratches. There was still some dried blood left on the skin though. Eventually, after closely examining it, Raven released my arm as I brought it back closer to me.

"Looks like your training with us is paying off, judging from the rate your aura is healing those wounds." She says as she tosses the dirty bandages into the fire to add fuel to the flames. "If it were me with those wounds -although I would never let that happen- they would heal up in just a few seconds. In other words, you still have a long way to go considering how little you have right now. Plus, your aura engagement could still use some work. But don't worry. In time, it'll become about as second nature as walking or breathing."

"I see." I respond as I gaze upon the campfire.

The fire was starting to die out a bit, the bandages burning up rather quickly, as the area of light around us shrank little by little with each minute that passed as the darkness slowly consumed us both. I could still feel the heat from the flames though, which were doing a good enough job at keeping me comfortably warm. I couldn't help but become entranced by the glowing embers that slowly floated their way up toward the sky like a swarm of fireflies accompanied by the soft crackle of the wood being devoured by the flames. It's strangely hypnotic. It's kinda making me… sleepy.

As my eyelids grew heavy and I slowly started to fade, I could feel my face gradually getting warmer. I then heard a sharp gasp followed by someone quickly calling my name as well as a force pushing me backward. As I snapped out of my drowsy state, I see Raven standing over the small campfire with her hand on my chest and the other behind my shoulder as if she were holding me up.

"W-what? What happened?" I ask, sort of slurring my words as I was getting my bearings.

"You almost fell right into the campfire!" She answered with a hint of concern or worry in her voice.

"I'm sorry, Raven." I say through a yawn while rubbing my eyes. "It's been a long day and I guess it finally caught up to me."

"Well in that case, I think we should call it a night then. Go get some sleep and I'll keep watch for a-"

"Wait, Raven. Um… sorry to interrupt you, but… there's something I've been meaning to ask you." I say as I anticipated a scolding remark or her to snap at me for cutting her off. To my surprise (and relief), Raven didn't say anything. She was slightly caught off guard, but after a couple seconds, she silently motioned her hand for me to speak as she sat back down on her spot.

"Raven, I… I remember you telling me on the day I decided to join your tribe that there was no room for things such as compassion and mercy and kindness in this world."

"Yes? And what about it?" Raven asks, cueing me to continue.

"Well… when we first met, I actively tried to kill you and you had every chance to easily kill me… but you didn't. In fact, instead of killing me, you saved me and even treated my wounds and gave me the chance to be a part of your tribe. Why? I understand that you called me an asset who could contribute to the tribe as well as what you said about me being fated to be a part of it, but I feel like there is something more than that that you didn't tell me."

"Well you're clearly overthinking it, Simin." Raven said, quickly trying to dismiss my question. "I only helped you and took you in because I saw what you are capable of-"

"Raven,..." I interrupt again, being a bit more assertive to pry out the answer I know she's not giving me. "Going by your logic, you should have killed me the moment you saw me. I killed six of your own and you didn't kill me. I then tried to kill you and you didn't kill me. Then I threatened the tribe and you to your face and you didn't kill me. Even when I struck Mari with a rock, you still didn't kill me. When I first met you, I didn't give you a single reason to let me live, yet you found one. But that reason couldn't be because you saw me as a potential asset to the tribe. If anything, I was a hazard to the tribe and a clear one at that. I was not worth the risk. Going by your way of thinking, the smart thing to do would have been to kill me right then and there, but instead you made me your top priority and you… saved me... with the help of Mari, and took me in. You kept giving me chances even though I showed that I didn't deserve them. You didn't want me to join because you saw me as an asset. I just don't buy it. I showed myself to be more of a risk if anything. So why did you take that risk with me? What's the real reason you spared me and let me join? Why was I the exception?"

Raven paused and sat in silence, her head slightly bowed and hands folded together as her fingers intertwined with each other. Following her eyes in the dim light of the flames, I could see her look to the side as if she were searching for an answer. I could tell I backed her into a corner. I might regret that later, but this is something I need to know. Eventually Raven nodded to herself as if she were giving herself a mental confirmation that she was ready for me to hear what she was about to say- or more like she was ready to tell me what she was about to say.

"I don't know, Simin."

Hearing her say that genuinely shocked me. I never thought I'd ever hear Raven admit that she didn't know something. Especially to me of all people.

"Maybe I did only see you as an asset. Maybe I did see you as a fated member of our tribe. Or maybe… maybe it was because I just pitied you. When I heard the commotion three months ago and realized my own tribe members were being attacked, I was ready to kill the person (or people) who dared to try without hesitation. I was going to end their life before they even had the chance to regret it. But as I entered that clearing, the first thing I expected to see was maybe some grimm or perhaps armed guards from a caravan since the area was not too far away from a road. But the last thing I expected to see was a wounded, bloody child surrounded by bodies wailing away on one of my own with the most anguished expression I had ever seen on a living being. Seeing you like that back there, it showed me how much the world had affected you. You are the only person outside of my tribe to ever make me feel that. In a way, I almost felt like I understood you."

"What do you mean?" I ask, hoping she would elaborate for me.

"Simin, I am about to tell you something that I honestly have never shared with anyone as this is what I believe to be the best way for you to understand. The only people who know are the ones who were there for it. So do me this favor and sit next to me because 1) I am not risking you falling into that fire again and I need to concentrate on my story rather than constantly focus on you and 2) because I want you to listen closely because I will not be repeating this and I don't expect you to either."

I got up from where I was and walked to where Raven was sitting and plopped myself down next to her like she said. After that, I looked up at her and slightly angled my body toward her, letting Raven know I was ready to listen.

. . .

"Let's start off with the basics. My brother and I never came from any of the kingdoms. We have pretty much lived the very vast majority of our lives out here. Because of that, my brother and I were always looking out for each other and having each other's backs. As for our parents, they actually were wanted criminals who had fled the city of Mistral. They decided to rob someone and that robbery ended up turning into a murder. It was quickly discovered that the person they murdered just so happened to be a relative of one of the members of the Mistral council. So a kingdom-wide manhunt was put into effect and they, realizing how fucked they were, fled via the city's criminal underground. They originally wanted to flee to Vale or even Vacuo to hide, but since the kingdoms are in direct communication with each other, that became impossible when they caught wind. So they ended up hiding themselves away in a remote part of the kingdom's territory. Realizing their lives were going to be a lot harder from then on, they had us… for the sole purpose of making their lives easier."

"What do you mean?" I ask Raven again.

"We were essentially tools to them." She answered. "The only thing we ever were to them was tools to make their lives easier. And we hated them for it. We hated them with a passion. But we also feared them. The reason why was because we knew why they had us. And they made it very clear to us that we were dispensable and replaceable to them. There were times where me and my brother would work nonstop like our lives depended on it because I was afraid they really would kill us if they weren't satisfied with what we did, so we would always go beyond every single day. Even if we were working hurt or sick, you wouldn't be able to tell. We felt so weak and helpless… and that was exactly what they wanted and they wanted us to stay that way."

"We spent most of our childhoods shackled in a back room downstairs where the only source of light was whatever shone through some of the cracks in the walls. The only time we would ever be let out was to do a certain job around the house, which was pretty much all of them as they did nothing, but watch us or lounge around the house. And if we messed up, the consequences were brutal. I remember one time my brother once broke a plate on accident due to his semblance when he was cleaning the dishes and to punish him, my father made him watch as he wailed on me. Killing two birds with one stone through both psychological and physical punishment. By the time he was done, my father told Qrow that he can go back to cleaning the dishes before giving him a warning: 'Break another plate and I break her other arm!'. My arm didn't actually break though. The elbow was just dislocated, but I wasn't going to let him know that otherwise he'd try it again. But I didn't bother popping it back into socket until later because he would find out and, as I just said, try it again. So I just let it dangle the rest of the day and reset it later. My arm did eventually make a full recovery though, but the pain from that is something that stuck with me for a while. Now, my elbow clicks every time I stretch it out and rotate it."

As she said that Raven then stretched her left arm forward and proceeded to rotate it counterclockwise as it was accompanied by the muffled noise of two instant clicks.

"Also, when we were much younger, my brother used to have night terrors. Last I checked he no longer has them. But when he did, every time he would make too much noise such as when he would kick something over in his sleep or let out a cry, our mother would just come downstairs to the back room and put a gag on him or tie his legs up. And it's not like we could have taken it off.

"For years we were even subjected to malnourishment. They would give us small amounts of food everyday for our meals and we'd pretty much get 'rewarded' with the rest when we had completed our work. The meals were really just enough to keep us able to work, but not enough to be able to put up a fight. This was always harder on my brother since he already had a thin frame. He's always been very thin and lanky."

"Eventually, my brother and I decided that we had had enough. We weren't going to let this be what our lives were anymore. By then we were just waiting for the right moment. Then came June 13th, we were 13 years old- having already turned 13 four months prior. One night, my mother was locking us in, one of the keys fell off the ring and got misplaced. We hadn't even realized it until we overheard her asking our father where it was. I remember my heart started to race a bit as soon as I heard the words, 'Where's the key to the restraints?' Qrow and I scanned the basement as we frantically moved our eyes around to spot the silhouette of the key in the darkness and, lo and behold, there it was, right in front of us being illuminated by a beam of moonlight shining through the cracks- very unlucky for the two scumbags upstairs. My brother, much taller than I am, stretched his legs and slid the keys over with his foot, which our mother could not hear since she was frantically searching upstairs for them while shouting back and forth with our father. Qrow managed to unlock us both and it didn't take us long to hatch a plan, which was improvised for the most part.

"I put Qrow back into his restraints- keeping them unlocked, of course- and he kicked something over and ended up breaking a bottle near where he was to make a noise loud enough to lure my mom down, who thought it was just him having another night terror, which we anticipated. As for me, I kept myself hidden in a corner with a rope in hand and waited. I also tossed the key in an open spot so that when our mom walked through, she would immediately find it.

"When she came down and opened the door, just like we predicted, she immediately noticed the key and didn't pick up on the fact that Qrow's restraints were locked and that I wasn't in mine as she bent down to grab it with a sigh of relief. Before she could even do anything, I immediately closed the door, pushing us into a mostly dark environment as I jumped on her back and proceeded to wrap the rope around her neck. We had pretty good sight in the dark as well as a perfect memorization of the layout of the room, so we weren't worried. As for her, she may as well have been blindfolded. I remember instantly feeling her heartbeat and pulse rapidly increase once she realized what was happening. And she couldn't call out because of the rope. She was at our mercy… - something we had no intentions on giving after what we were put through. Once he saw his opening, my brother then got out of his restraints and grabbed the broken bottle and proceeded to drive the jagged glass into her jugular. Then everything just… stopped. That was our first kill."

I nervously swallowed as Raven narrated how her and her brother murdered their mother. I'm not going to lie. It very much disturbed me that Raven literally recollected her committing of matricide and there was no remorse in her voice when she said it.

"Something wrong, Simin?" Raven said as she looked down to me noticing the uncomfortable look on my face.

"No, no. I'm fine." I unconvincingly reply.

"I can understand if you're uncomfortable. Do you want me to stop?" She offers.

"No. You can continue." I answer her with some grimness in my voice.

"Are you sure?" The crimson-eyed woman asked one more time.

"...Yes." I say as I nod my head.

"Well okay then. If this gets too much, you tell me. Understand?"

"Okay." I lie. Even though I do feel a bit uncomfortable, I do want to know more about her past.

"Anyway, where was I? Oh right. The two of us had pretty much snapped and crossed the point of no return. After we killed our mother, we knew it would be too dangerous to leave the room to go after our father next. So what we did was that we broke a large hole in the wall of the back room, just big enough for a child to go through, which made enough noise for our dad to come down to investigate. We made ourselves hidden in the room knowing that our dad was heading down. The second he opened the door, the first things he saw were our dead mother, a pair of empty shackles, and a hole in the wall just large enough for a child to squeeze through. Just from the look on his face, we could tell he was absolutely enraged. And because of his rage, he wasn't thinking when he ran out to try and locate us, completely forgetting to bring his weapon. Because of that, we took advantage of our opening and I ran upstairs and grabbed it while my brother was downstairs gathering food and serving as a lookout in case he came back before we could make our escape.

"Unfortunately, it didn't take long for him to realize he forgot his weapon as my brother called out to me. We knew he was aiming to kill us at this point, so we knew what we had to do. We weren't exactly high on options there. I quickly came downstairs and waited for our dad to open the door. The moment he saw me and realized he was facing the wrong end of the barrel, his face instantly went from a raging red to a pale white. I didn't even let him get a word out as I shot him in the shoulder, which ended up flooring him. As soon as he hit the ground, Qrow and I tied him up as we started gathering as much supplies we could realistically carry with us. As we were about to head out, our dad said something absolutely venomous to me:

"'You two weak ass piece of shit nothings will never survive out there! So you might as well just save yourselves the trouble and use the rest of the bullets on your brother and then yourself!'"

"...That really pissed me off. Letting my anger get the better of me, in that moment, I walked right back in and marched over to him…. and I emptied the weapon as I fired every remaining bullet into his body, killing him. Then I... sort of kicked and pistol whipped his body a few times before my brother came back in and calmed me down as I was just letting out years of pent up aggression on the corpse."

"How long ago was that?" I speak up.

"About sixteen years ago." Raven answered, with little emotion in her voice.

"Looking back at it, is there... anything you regret from that night?" I felt compelled to ask this because it sounded like there was a hint of regret in her voice when she talked about unloading the gun into her father.

"My biggest regret was that I wasted our ammunition." Raven said coldly.

"Oh…" I said quietly.

"What, did you think I was going to say I regretted us killing them? There was no way we were going to leave without a fight. I don't regret doing what we did."

With nothing to respond with, I stayed silent.

"After we were done,..." Raven resumed as she interpreted my silence as her cue to continue. "...we took what we could carry and then I, still holding on to some of that anger I had felt, lit a match and burned the house to the ground as we left. In case you couldn't tell, I used to be a very hot-headed kid from that point on."

"Don't worry. I kinda gathered that by now." I say with a bit of sarcasm to lighten the mood a little bit.

In response, Raven gave me a bit of a side-eye before moving her eyes away for a split second and let out a quiet titter, a noise I never thought I would hear from her, let alone capable of making.

"So anyway, why did you burn the house down?"

"Well aside from what I already said, it was also because the place just brought bad memories and I didn't think I'd be able to rest knowing that that glorified dungeon was still standing. So I also burned it down to sort of put myself at ease. We had no intentions of going back anyway since we would rather take our chances out in the wilderness than spend another second there. As far as me and my brother were concerned, we had no family... except for each other, that is.

"The first couple weeks of surviving was pretty tough for us, especially since we didn't really have any survival skills due to being kept away for so long. But eventually, we learned to adapt as we started rationing our food to help us last longer as well as learning how to withstand the elements. It wasn't easy, but we somehow managed to last until the end of August by taking care of each other.

"By the end of August, we were running very low on food and we started rationing more to try and make it last. But we were getting very hungry and I was getting desperate. On the night of September 1st, we stumbled upon a small campsite with a few people that looked like bandits. We could tell because of the clothes they were wearing and the shape of the weapon that the guy on watch had. I opted for us to steal their food, but Qrow was initially against it, always trying to be a voice of reason. But like I said, I was desperate. I went out anyway, dragging him along with me and just when we were about to make off with a considerable amount of food, I ended up dropping a can that ended up waking the camp. Qrow beat himself up for that for a while because he blamed it on his bad luck semblance. Anyway, we tried to make a break for it, but we were just so tired and weak that we didn't even make it out of the light of their fire before they had caught us.

"At that moment, I was afraid of what they'll do to us. Rob us, kill us, etc. My brother had managed to stab one of them in the leg and proceeded to toss me his gun before he ended up getting held down. So in the heat of the moment, I made a gamble and picked up the gun and aimed it at one of them. I had no intentions on killing them as I was hoping I could scare them off since I wanted a weapon where I could keep the ammo this time as well as get them to let us go. Unfortunately for us, the person I had pointed it at just so happened to be the bandit leader. This led to the others instantly drawing their weapons. Their leader immediately called them off and told them to put their weapons down as he approached me. I noticed he had a curious look in his eye. He then got down to one knee, and proceeded to press his head against the barrel and look me in the eyes. He was testing me. He wanted to see if I had what it takes to actually do it. I wasn't against killing though, obviously. I mean, we already had two kills under our belt by that point. But this guy… there was something about him that was so intimidating and menacing. When I looked him in the eyes, there was no fear. He almost looked as if he was daring me to shoot him. I couldn't help but hesitate. The guy eventually grew impatient with me and said:

"What's wrong, kid?' He told me. 'Are you going to shoot me or are you going to waste my time and insult me? Am I not a big enough threat, is that it?'

"I stayed silent as I wasn't too sure what to do. I guess you could say I froze up. And then he proceeded to pull out his own weapon and press it against my forehead as well. My heart was racing.

"'How about now?' He asked me.

"I tried to keep it cool, but I was shaking inside. There was something about him that shook me to the core. But then he did something that lit a fire under me.

"'Well alright… if you won't do it to save your own skin, then maybe you'll do it to save his.' That's what he said as he then pointed his weapon at my brother.

"The moment he did that, I instantly stopped becoming afraid of him and I immediately pulled the trigger and shot him. And I said, 'Don't you ever threaten my family again!'.

"I remember his subordinates standing there shocked for a few seconds as they saw their leader get shot right in front of them. But it didn't take long before they drew their weapons again, ready to kill me and Qrow on the spot. But then I remember him immediately sticking his hand up to call them off again as he got back up. I was absolutely confused and shocked. I had just shot this man and he got back up without a scratch on him. And his subordinates didn't seem shocked he was alive either, but rather confused that he was calling them off again. I was completely taken aback. The reason why he survived was because he had his aura activated. But at the time, I didn't know what aura was.

"Before my senses could return after seeing the shock of this guy brush a bullet off like it was nothing, he quickly disarmed me and took me to the ground. But the way he was holding me down along with the pressure he was applying, it wasn't hurting. He wasn't trying to harm, but to just restrain me. He then started talkin to me:

"'You have guts, kid. I respect that. What's your name?'"

"'Raven…' I answered him with a bit of contempt in my voice since I was still mad about him threatening my brother.

"'And 'Longshanks' over there?' He said referring to my brother.

"Qrow has very long legs, so that's why he called him that. That was the nickname he would call him for about as long as we knew him. Qrow hated it and it always got a laugh out of me precisely for that reason. Anyway, back to what he said to me:

"'That's my brother, Qrow.' I told him.

"'Do you have a last name or something?' He asked me.

"I refused to answer and stayed silent and so did my brother when he asked him the same question. Due to the heavy resentment we held toward our parents, we didn't want to hold onto anything that tied us to them or reminded us of them. So because of that, we sort of disowned our last names and refused to go by them. He then took that as his cue to speak up again to break the silence:

"'Well alright then, I guess that means it's my turn. My name is Shepherd. Shepherd Branwen. And I'm the leader of our tribe.'

"'And why should I care?' I asked him. 'Did you just want to introduce yourself before you killed us'

"'Actually, on the contrary. I have no intentions on killing you.' He revealed to me, which very much surprised me and Qrow. 'Besides, it would just be a waste of energy and time. I'd hardly consider you a threat and there's nothing to gain from killing you anyway. I actually want to make you an offer.'

"'What kind of offer?' I asked with a curious voice.

"'The kind that will save your lives depending on what you choose.' With that, he took his foot off me so I could stand up and listen to his offer as well as calling his people to get off my brother as well as he rejoined me to also listen in. 'You two look like you've seen better days. How long have you been out here?'

"'Two and half months.' Qrow answered that time.

"'Ah, so you two kids are a couple of survivors. You must be quite the fighters then to have lasted this long on your own-'

"'We've been on our own long before that.' I chimed in. 'We've always been on our own.'

"'Elaborate.' He requested.

"'We'd rather not.' I told him after Qrow and I exchanged a glance.

"Well, anyway, back to the offer. You two kids seem like you have no place to go. And it looks like you're on your last leg. I want to offer you to join our tribe. Be a part of my family.' He offered us.

"We scoffed and rolled our eyes at just the mere mention of the word "family".

"'I'm not sure I want to join the guy who literally threatened my brother's life. We're all that we need.. and want.' I told him.

"'I second that.' Qrow chimed in again. "'I watched you hold a gun to my sister's head right in front of me! You're crazy if you think we'll join you after that!'

"'So I take it you think your chances are better out there than with me then? Am I correct? Or are you saying you'd rather starve to death? Listen close, kids, do you really think you stand a chance out there with nothing but your bare hands and the clothes on your back? Face it. You won't last until the end of the week out there. And the fact you tried stealing from us shows that.'

"'How?' I asked him with a bit of hostility in my voice.

"'There are two types of people who steal in this world: the greedy and the desperate. One does it out of desire while the other does it out of necessity. You two going out of your way to try and steal food from us shows you are in dire need of a saving grace. And judging from the shape you're in, you kids don't strike me as the greedy type. You just want to live, don't you? Well guess what? So do we. And we will do whatever is necessary to stay alive and look out for each other. You and your brother are just looking out for each other too. You live for each other. That's why you did this. That's why you shot me. You wanted to protect your family. We're not so different, you and I. So I want to give you a chance to save your skins. If you want to be angry, that's fine. I won't blame you. But don't be stupid.'

"I admit, he had us there. But at the time, we were just a couple of irrational kids too angry to think straight, especially in that moment considering the stunt he pulled."

"So in other words…?" I interrupted.

"In other words, we still denied without a second thought." Raven answered.

"Ah…"

"He gave us a couple chances to reconsider and… well… we spat in his face. Both of us. His cronies tried to make a move toward us after that, but Shepherd immediately called them off and just sent us on our way. We then ran off into the night and disappeared in the dark in case he decided to change his mind.

"Now for the next few days they were nothing short of a struggle. We were too weak to even catch anything by that point. We tried setting up traps, but bad luck would always be just around the corner as they would always break on us. We were tired, scraped and dirty from head to toe, tattered clothes and mangled up shoes. But we still had each other and that was more than enough motivation for us to keep going. But our journey almost ended up stopping dead in its tracks when we encountered and got surrounded by a small group of ursai, which are basically grimm that closely resemble large bears.

"At that point, Qrow and I felt like we were finished. We just grabbed each other's hand and just waited for them to tear us apart. If there was any consolation, at least we would be going out together. But right before the very moment they began to move in on us, they immediately stopped dead in this tracks as the first three that even got close were cleaved in two. It was so fast, we didn't even see what caused it. Next thing you know, another small group of ursai got slaughtered, followed by another and another. We were so confused just seeing these beasts die right in front of us. But one thing we noticed was that every time one got sliced into two, there was a slashing sound accompanied by what looked like a human dashing by. Not a single ursa got anywhere near us. When the person who saved us revealed themselves, we saw that it was Shepherd. Apparently he had been keeping an eye on us after he sent us off.

"'So… are you ready to take me up on my offer?' That was the first thing he said to us, obviously poking fun at us as he was basically saying 'I told you so.'

"I was honestly shocked to see him. And even more shocked to hear him continue to offer us to join. After we had tried stealing from him, after I had shot him, and spat in his face, he was still offering to let us join him. He kept giving us chances when we didn't deserve it. At that moment, I couldn't help but let out 13 years of pent up emotion as my brother and I embraced each other after our close call with death had finally set in our heads.

"However, our moment didn't last long as Shepherd yelled at us to try and suppress our emotions. He said:

"'If you're going to cry, out here is never the place to do it. Otherwise you are just inviting the world to have its way with you.' Obviously referring to the grimm since negative emotions attract them, but also because when you are out here, you can't show that you're vulnerable or it will be taken advantage of. Similar to how you panicked when killing the hawk, Simin.

"'So…' He said getting back to the chase. '... what's your final verdict?'

"'Fine!' I told him as it was pretty clear that Qrow and I didn't have much of a choice since it was either that or we die out here. 'We'll join your stupid tribe! But we're not going to like it. We're only doing this to stay alive.'

"'Alright. It's settled then. Welcome to the Branwen tribe.' He told us as if we had just passed a job interview. 'As of this moment, you are now a part of my family. Now, with that out of the way-'

"He then proceeded to punch us both in the stomach, completely leaving us gasping for air as we were hunched over on the ground. He then said:

"'Don't ever disrespect me the way you did again when you spat in my face. Especially in front of my family. If it were anyone else, I would have killed them on the spot. So be glad that I've taken an interest in you two because that's what saved you. Do not let this happen again. Do I make myself clear?'

"We both nodded our heads since we were too winded to say anything and he proceeded to pick us up and carry us for the rest of the day due to our exhaustion. That night we rested and we were a bit apprehensive toward him as we watched his moves very closely, anticipating him to try something funny. He never really did and we slowly lowered our guard. Especially since he kept giving us food due to how hungry we were.

"I still didn't like him much though, but after seeing what he did when he saved us, I couldn't help but at least respect and appreciate him. He saved our lives and I couldn't deny that. I didn't even know someone could even be that strong. And the fact he did it with such ease showed that he was holding back. I started to take an interest in him as well. And by that, I mean I wanted to be as strong as him. My brother too, but especially me. I wanted to be strong enough to look out for him and myself.

"Eventually, we arrived at camp on the 8th of September and things were a bit awkward for us at first since Qrow and I wouldn't talk to anyone, but each other and Shepherd every now and then. Some of the other members would try to reach out to us, but we were just so apprehensive. We didn't exactly trust them, especially considering how our last family was. Shepherd was the only one we felt slightly at ease around. So because of that we would always be by ourselves doing our own thing or sneaking out of the camp grounds to watch Shepherd train. We did that a lot. We were so fascinated at how someone could be as strong as he was and we would just be in awe watching him either tear up the place around him or walk into grimm infested territory and just take on whole hordes single-handedly. He was something else.

"One day, we got caught in the act of spying on him. He gave us a verbal lashing for that and went on about how we could have gotten hurt for being in such close proximity. He would then go on to ask us about why we even left in the first place. We would tell him about how we just felt apprehensive about the other members and that we didn't exactly trust them. Shepherd would say:

"'Why don't you trust them? They're your family.' He told us.

"'Well. that's the thing.' Qrow answered. 'Outside of my sister and I, the only family we had…well... let's just say we were dealt a bad hand.'

"Shepherd would then tell us to elaborate and then we would actually tell him about our parents and what we went through and how we killed them. Basically everything I've told you just now.

"'We are not your old family.' He told us, trying to get us to trust him on this. 'You are part of my tribe now, which means we are your family, not them. They will care for you just like I have. And if they ever tried something to harm you- which they won't-, they'd be dealing with me, and they know that. But aside from that, I promise you they won't do that. And I know you trust me, so trust me when I say you have nothing to worry about here.'

"Shepherd always referred to us as his family, never as his underlings, or subordinates or anything of the sort. We eventually did agree to loosen up a bit and try to open up more around them. But after we had agreed, he could still tell there was something else on our minds. We also admitted that we were interested in how strong he was and that we also snuck out because we wanted to be as strong as him and it was at that moment that we requested to be trained under him. He was a bit apprehensive at first about it, but we wouldn't top bugging him about it and he eventually relented. We began our training the next day.

"When we started, the first thing we worked on was discipline."

"Discipline?" I interrupted.

"Yes, I know. Discipline isn't exactly the first word that comes to mind when you think of a bandit, but Shepherd was surprisingly disciplined for someone of his reputation. He had his own code and he expected us to follow it to the letter. Never get rattled, don't ever let yourself get overwhelmed or intimidated, push to your limit, never back down, do whatever it takes to survive as well as preserve the tribe's survival, never kill one of your own, and most importantly, put the tribe before yourself. This is the same code I adopted and continue to live by to this day."

"So I take it you must hold Shepherd very highly, then." I comment.

"Gods, of course I did!" Raven responded. "He was the first person who treated me and my brother like we were worth a damn. There was a time where I used to think I was just nothing. Just a useless hunk of flesh and bone with nothing worth preserving. I owed so much to him for what he did for us. We saw him more as family than our parents ever were and same thing went for the tribe as well. And Shepherd and the tribe cared for us more than our parents ever did." Raven then slightly chuckled as she seemed to recall a memory that just entered the front of her mind. "One other thing I want to bring up is that since we were so young when we joined Shepherd's tribe, he never allowed us to drink any alcohol. And since there was a lot of that being drunk in the tribe, he was always very careful with what we were given to drink. They were our first real family. We looked up to him so much that we even donned his last name as a way of paying respect to him. Shepherd was a bit against us doing this, but that didn't stop us. Qrow and I were no longer just 'Raven' and 'Qrow'. From that point on, we were Qrow Branwen and Raven Branwen.

"Anyway, our training started off with us essentially learning to discipline ourselves. Sometimes it would require a test of patience or sometimes he would just come at us and see how we would react or how long we would be able to maintain our composure. My brother was actually very good at this and learned very quickly and moved up faster than I did. As for me, I struggled. Keeping a leveled head wasn't exactly my forte at the time. Even today I get my occasional hiccups, which I'm sure you've seen."

"And experienced." I say with a bit of sarcasm.

"...Anyway,..." She said as she narrowed her eyes at me. "...because of that, my brother, noticing how frustrated I was, would always train with me after our sessions and eventually, I would show some improvement. Shepherd noticed it too. Because of that, he felt we were ready for the next level and cranked it up a notch. He didn't go easy on us and would push us to our limit each time. Eventually we unlocked our auras and that only made him go even harder. Shepherd was easily the most difficult person I ever faced. He would thrash us around, but we kept getting back up and coming back for more. I always got so mad at him during our sessions…" Raven said with a small chuckle. "...but I couldn't help but be thankful as well. Though his training sessions were brutal, we understood it was to make us stronger. And because of that, we would constantly push ourselves both for each other and for Shepherd and the tribe so we could be able to take care of them like they did with us. And I would dedicate everything I did for them.

"So in the end, I guess what I'm trying to say, Simin, is despite not even knowing you or exactly what you went through, I felt like I could, to some extent, understand you. I understood your anger, your despair, your hostility because I've felt it too when I was a kid. The look in your eyes when I first saw you was the same look I had when I shot my father to death. The look you gave me when we first met was the look I gave Shepherd when I first met him. So I gave you a second chance at life- the same second chance that he gave me when I was in your shoes. I guess you could almost say, I see a part of myself in you. And I wanted to help you the same way Shepherd helped me and Qrow."

Wow! I never thought I would see this side of Raven. I didn't even know this side existed. That intimidating aura she used to give off, the nervousness I used to feel around her has suddenly vanished. I'm surprised I got her to open up to me in this way. But now I have a feeling there is more to the story. There has to be more such as how she became leader and I wonder if her bad blood with her brother has any connections to it. Maybe I can take advantage of the moment and get her to tell me. Let's find out.

. . .

"Raven, why do I get the feeling there's more to the story?" I speak up.

"Because there is." She answered coldly, yet somewhat somberly.

"I want to know the rest." I request.

"And why would I do that?"

"Because I want to understand more about you." I say bluntly.

"What more would you need to understand? I answered your question, did I not?" Raven stated.

"Yes, but at this point, I want to know more about Shepherd and what happened to him, how you became the leader of the tribe, what happened between you and your brother."

"Those aren't important." She insisted.

She seems very avoidant now and slightly uncomfortable. With her intimidating aura now gone or the moment due to her opening up, it was easier for me to see when she was uncomfortable about something. But regardless, I still want to know. I know longer felt afraid to try and push to know more.

"Raven…" I say almost pleadingly.

Raven would pause a bit before eventually acquiescing with a sigh.

"Dammit… Why must you always have to know everything?" She says with another sigh as she gave in. "...Might as well, I guess. I hate leaving things unfinished anyway."

Once she said that, I straightened my posture a bit more as I was ready and eager to listen to the rest of her story.

"Now even though the image I've given you of Shepherd that sort of depicts him as a strict, I should let you know he also had a very brutal side to him. He had quite the mean streak. With us and the rest of the tribe, despite how tough he would be during our training sessions, Shepherd was actually very caring toward us, yet also firm as a leader. But as for those who were outside, specifically those who lived in the villages, he had no love or respect for them. His views were not very far from mine, although I personally think he was a bit more brutal. For those who lived in villages and never knew what it was like to live out here, taking on the brunt of nature and scratching, clawing, and fighting to survive, he didn't consider them survivors. He saw them as people who were nothing short of weak and therefore unfit to live in this world. To him they were just fodder to feed the strong, which are the people who do whatever it takes to survive at any cost and constantly push themselves to get stronger to protect what they hold dear. And for that, he would make himself judge, jury, and executioner."

"So he just killed people simply because he saw them as weak? Why?" I ask her.

"Shepherd was a man who believed that struggle and strength were one in the same and were just as necessary as the other to survive. You need to struggle to get stronger to survive. Those who have never struggled did not possess the strength to live out here and therefore were just wasting resources that the fittest would make the best use out of. Because they weren't pushing themselves by not doing whatever it took to survive, they were on Shepherd's chopping block. I don't exactly know what happened to Shepherd in his past, but he was always seemed somewhat disdainful of them. So he would attack them for two reasons: the first was to be able to appropriate resources that his tribe would make use of to survive and the second was to 'make room for the strong and fit' as he put it. The man was the embodiment of the phrase, 'Survival of the fittest.'

"He actually grew quite the reputation in Mistral and because of that, we constantly had to move to avoid Mistral authorities. To the villages that did know about him, he was referred to as 'Nature's Cruelest Force'. He attacked with unbridled cruelty and he did it indiscriminately and mercilessly. Although we wouldn't see this side of him more until we had turned 16, which was when he started taking us on raids.

"The first time we did see this side of him however was one time when it was discovered an outsider had killed one of us to thwart an attempted robbery. Shepherd seemed devastated by this. His body language showed that he seemed completely distraught. But the look in his eyes, I saw a desire and determination for revenge in them. I remember one day, July 17th, Shepherd was heading outside camp and immediately, without warning, motioned for us to come to him so he could tell us something. He told us that he was going to be gone for awhile and that we were to continue our training with each other in the meantime. We asked him where he was going and he said, 'I'm going to hunt down the son of a bitch who spilled our blood and make an example out of him.' So with that, Qrow and I returned to our devices and trained, not daring to ask anymore questions. By that point, we had been training with him for eight and a half months since we had started our training in the month of October, the year prior. By the end of August, Shepherd had returned carrying a broken, bloodied man with glassy eyes who was too exhausted to even move. We thought it was a corpse until we saw that he was breathing… barely.

"Qrow and I were curious to know who the man was and we followed Shepherd without him knowing and he went to a spot outside the camp toward the back and we watched as Shepherd proceeded to tie the man to a tree. At that point we noticed the man's arms seemed disjointed and we realized that his shoulders were dislocated. Shepherd had popped the guy's shoulders out of place and tied him to the tree so that he couldn't reset them when he regained some strength. We asked Shepherd who the man was and he told us that he was the man who killed one of our own. He also told us that the man tied to the tree was also a huntsman. We asked what he would do with him and all Shepherd would say was that he would just check on him regularly. We didn't know what he meant until we would stop by daily as we simply just watched Shepherd check on him and walk away. There was always a watchman stationed in that area so we had to be very careful. As the man got thinner over time, it became clear as to what exactly was going on. Shepherd tied him to the tree and was just waiting for the man to starve to death.

"Qrow eventually stopped coming with me to check out Shepherd checking on the guy and would just shut me up when I would try to give him updates. Every day I stopped by, the thinner the man would get until he looked at a skeleton covered in skin. I literally watched a man starve to death. Qrow saw Shepherd in a very different light after then seeing a first-hand an example of the things he did when we weren't around as he tortured the man to death by starvation. He began to resent Shepherd after that although I wouldn't find that out until years later. He would start to resent the tribe even more as Shepherd started to bring us along for raids after we turned 16. As for me, going back to the man tied to the tree, though I was with him in how it was just plain cruel, I understood that at the end of the day, our survival and our well-being was Shepherd's biggest priority and he would do whatever it took to assure that regardless of what it was. I may not have agreed at first as I saw what he did as excessive, I still understood his reasoning. Regardless, at the end of the day, he killed one of our own and that wasn't something I wouldn't let go unpunished if I were in his shoes. When that huntsman killed one of us, it was an eye-opener to the whole tribe- especially Shepherd. It became transparent to us that huntsmen and huntresses were the most immediate threat to the survival and well-being of our tribe.

"Three years later, my brother and I having already turned 17 years old, Shepherd had Qrow and me enroll at a huntsman academy in order to learn more about them as well as their strengths and weaknesses so they would no longer be able to pose a threat to us and so that we would be ready and able to defend ourselves from them in case they ever came for us or if we ever ran into one. We originally tried to apply for Haven Academy since it was closer, but it was already past the deadline by a day, which meant we were no longer eligible to apply. So we ended up applying for and being accepted into Beacon instead, located in Vale, much farther away as it was on a different continent entirely. It would be the first time Qrow and I had ever set foot in a kingdom. Before we left, we said our goodbyes and Qrow and I had promised that we would return to the tribe after our time at Beacon was up."

"So what happened once you two got to Beacon?" I interrupt.

"Unfortunately, a vast majority of that information I cannot give to you under any circumstances. But there was a skirt incident with my brother and because of that, the nickname Shepherd gave him, 'Longshanks', would follow him throughout Beacon as well. Seeing him get annoyed over that did make for good entertainment on dull days. Also it was at Beacon that I would finally unlock my semblance. But anyway, aside from that one thing, we got put into a team known as Team Stark- spelled S-T-R-Q- and we were such a powerful group that we would get bumped up as second year students, completely skipping our first year. During our time, we would then eventually earn a… "job" of sorts that would pretty much stay with us, even after graduation.

"During our last year at Beacon, we were 19 at that point, Vale was hosting an event called the Vytal Festival. At this festival, there is a tournament that consists of teams representing their respected academies from all four kingdoms. Our team was a part of this tournament. During the tournament, we met a combatant from Haven Academy named Shiro Wan. My brother and Shiro became friends pretty quickly as they had very cohesive personalities. As for me, I could care less about him. But there was something about him that piqued my interest when Qrow confronted me about something. His body language and tone seemed almost distressed or distraught. Then Qrow told me.

"Remember that huntsman that Shepherd captured and beat into a bloody pulp and tied to the tree and left him to starve to death?"

"Yeah." I answer, letting her know that I've been listening.

"That was Shiro's father."

Hearing that honestly stunned me for a few seconds.

"Yeah. That was my reaction." She spoke up. "Shortly after that, Qrow started drinking. Apparently Shiro wanted to be a huntsman to both follow in his father's footsteps, but also to avenge his father. Which means Shepherd was on his chopping block. I'll admit hearing that made me want to kill Shiro on the spot, but I still had a mission to complete as well as Qrow. I couldn't do anything that would get me kicked out of Beacon or make me public enemy number one since I still had to finish up at Beacon so I could return to the tribe. So I brushed it off.

"As for the tournament, we continued our fight and I eventually won the whole thing for my team and Beacon on the last day of the tournament, October 31st. As for the celebration that night, let's just say it got out of hand pretty quickly. It was the first time I ever got a taste of alcohol… and I went overboard. We all did. Qrow did most of the drinking though. But as for me, I never drank again after that and mostly limit myself to tea now.

"Our graduation from Beacon happened about a month later in early December. The 9th to be exact. And it was on that day that my brother made it abundantly clear to me that he had no intentions of returning to the tribe and ended up abandoning us, breaking the promise we made after proceeding to call us nothing more than a bunch of low-life killers and thieves- almost similar to what you called us. As for me, I couldn't return to the tribe until the following year."

"Why?"

"Remember when I said the celebrating got out of hand?" Raven said as she was clearly leading me to an answer.

"Yeah…"

"I… ended up getting pregnant…" She said with a slight mutter, showing a bit of embarrassment in her demeanor.

"What?! So you're telling me you're basically married… with a kid?!" I exclaim as that completely caught me off guard.

"Yes. Her name is Yang. Speaking of which, she is probably about as old as you are right now, except maybe a bit older since she was born on July 4th, I believe. But that stays between you and me! Got it?" Raven's tone suddenly switched to stern and threatening. "If you tell anyone about that, you will regret it!"

"Yep, got it!" I say firmly with a nervous gulp. After the warning, Raven would continue her story.

"So, anyway,..." Raven says as her tone gets a bit somber. "...for that reason, I was out of commission for a while until I eventually returned to the tribe September 20th the following year. Despite the "job" we both had, I still kept my promise and returned to the tribe- even leaving behind my husband and daughter in the process shortly after she was born. I left as soon as I was able."

"How long ago was that?" I ask.

"Well by the time I returned to the tribe on the 20th of September, I had already turned 20. I turn 30 next year on February 21st, which is about two months from now. So it was about nine years and three months ago.

"Upon my return, I came expecting to see a hero's welcome due to my long absence. I was especially anticipating seeing Shepherd welcoming me back home with open arms. But he was nowhere to be seen. As I walked through the gates, everyone immediately looked over and gave me the warm welcome I was anticipating. But I could tell there was something off. They didn't treat me like I was returning hero or a long lost family member, but more like someone who was their saving grace or something of the sort. It left me very confused, but I still managed to quiet everyone down. After they were settled, I asked everyone where Shepherd was. No one responded. Everyone just uncomfortably shuffled or looked away. I kept asking and no one would answer. Quickly running out of patience, I grabbed the first person I saw by the collar and started questioning her. The first thing she did was tell me to follow her into Shepherd's tent. The second I entered his tent, I was stopped dead in my tracks as I was completely shocked after I saw his dead body wrapped in linen sitting in the middle of the tent. It took every bit of strength I had not to lose it once it started settling in and just quietly knelt by his body and sat there motionless, fighting back tears.

"At that moment, I was asking myself how he could have died and why. Shepherd was the strongest person I ever met and seeing him in this state left me in disbelief. I remember seeing a slip of paper lying near his body that had my name on it and I immediately picked it and read it. There wasn't a lot written as it was only seven words: 'I'm sorry. It had to be done…'. But those five words filled me with rage as I instantly figured it out. Fucking Qrow..." I see Raven clench her gloved fist as she recollected the memory. "And I'm pretty sure he most likely brought Shiro in on it as well since there is no way he'd be able to beat him on his own, even with his bad luck semblance. I know I couldn't have beaten him and me and Qrow are evenly matched in terms of skill and strength. In other words, if I couldn't have beaten Shepherd on my own, Qrow wouldn't have won on his own either.

"It most likely happened when I was pregnant as well since that was the most opportune time Qrow could have picked for his moment to strike since he knew I would have been there to stop him if it were any other time. And because I was pregnant, which he knew, and out of commission, there was nothing I could have done to prevent was consumed by his guilt of being a part of us and was desperate to make amends with the person whose father Shepherd killed- the same person who had killed one of us, I might add!. And because of that, he tossed away everything that Shepherd did for us. Qrow didn't just abandon us… he stabbed us in the back and betrayed us. Because of his guilt, he was desperate to make amends and now Shepherd's blood is on his hands and I will never forgive him for that! And I swear I will one day make him feel what it's like to be betrayed and stabbed in the back by his own family. He'll know one day how it feels to lose someone important to him. He'll get his sooner or later."

I noticed Raven looked very riled up as the simmering glow of the flames lit up her face. It would take a few moments for Raven to calm down and regain her composure.

"Anyway, it's been a long time since I've spoken with my brother, but we still sort of 'work together' under the same boss while not communicating with each other. However he would still carry the last name 'Branwen' as a way of maintaining his respect and thankfulness toward Shepherd for what he did for us when he rescued and took us in, which I call bullshit on. He just keeps the name simply out of guilt in my eyes.

"And as for the tribe, they were without a leader. So I took up the mantle and became the new leader of the Branwen tribe. My daughter had her father, but as for my people, they had no one. When I looked at them, I saw that they were lost and wouldn't have lasted long without any leadership. Don't get me wrong though, they can hold their own. But without a strong leader, they would have fallen eventually. These were the same people who, along with Shepherd, helped raise and take care of me and I wasn't going to let them fall. To everyone else, they are just murderers, pillagers, criminals, and low-lifes. But to me, they are my family… just as they were his."

As Raven said that last part, she picked up the mask and looked into its face longingly as if she were looking at someone that she sorely missed.

"I'm sorry, Ra-"

"Simin, do not give me your sympathy. That is the last thing I need or want. I don't want you to feel bad for me. I didn't tell you this story to gain sympathy points. I told you so that you know the person sitting next to you. So that you understand. Whether you agree with me at the end of the day or not, I don't really care. I know who I am and I am fully aware of the things I have done. I have committed horrible atrocities for the sake of the tribe. And I can strongly tell you that I am okay with it. I have no intentions on changing my ways for anyone if it means survival. I have so much blood on my hands. And despite all that, I don't feel a single morsel of regret. And do you know why? It's because I do it for them so they can survive. That includes Mari -although she is a different story altogether-, that includes Vernal, and that also, most certainly, includes you too."

"...oh…" I barely utter as I wasn't too sure how to respond.

There was a bit of silence after Raven told me this and during that silence, my fatigue was starting to overwhelm me. At this point, I'm barely able to keep my eyes open due to how late it was getting. I quickly started to get even more sleepy due to the lack of verbal activity between us and the because my body wouldn't allow me to stay awake any longer.

"Anyway, I think that's enough stories for tonight." Raven said abruptly. "Get some sleep, Simin. I'll watch over us for a bit."

Little did she know, I was already way ahead of her on that.

"O...kay. Goood niiiight, Raven." I mumbled with a slurred voice. And with that I simply could not stay awake anymore. My mind and body finally succumbed to the drowsiness as I faded out of consciousness, the last thing I see being the sleeve of Raven's coat as my sight faded to black.

. . .

*Raven's perspective*:

I don't know what Simin was mumbling just now, but I don't really care enough to press it. The kid needs sleep and the last thing I need is him being too exhausted to even stay awake in the morning. I think I'll go stoke the fire a bit more. I'll most likely be up for a little longer though as I still need to keep watch. As I am about to lean forward to stoke the fire with a stick laying near me, I suddenly felt something small and light lean against my left arm.

"...That better not be what I think it is."

I instinctively immediately turn my head toward the sudden pressure and, just as I thought, I see Simin, fast asleep... leaning on my arm.

(Sigh.)

...And now he's drooling on me. This kid's just going to end up distracting me.

Careful not to disturb him, I slowly and carefully pick up Simin's limp body and carry him to the lean-to shelter I made for us earlier. As I carry him, I can feel his torso slowly expanding and contracting with every breath he makes. As I placed him under the shelter and was about to go back to the fire, there was a loud pop from the burning wood as it spit out an ember accompanied with a distant wolf's howl in the background. As soon as that happened, I could hear a slight whimper come from Simin as his breathing became a bit shaky as well as his body slightly trembling.

"Is he cold or something? Or did the noise just startle him?"

I take off one of my gloves and place the back of my hand on his icy cheek. It's freezing. I let out another sigh.

"Dammit!" I thought. "Am I really about to do this?"

I quickly make up my mind and I remove my coat and place it on top of Simin to warm him up some more. I guess he ended up getting my jacket after all. He better not drool on it. The fire and thermal pads in my compressed winter pants should be enough to keep me warm for tonight anyway.

I make it back to the log by the now much smaller fire and take a seat as I take a look back at Simin who was soundly sleeping with my coat wrapped around him like a blanket.

"He looks so… helpless like that. Hm... I wonder if…-"

I then slowly draw my sword as it made a low, quiet clink and hold it in front of me and glance back at Simin again. I then make a slicing motion into the empty space in front of me, creating a slight whistle as it cut through the air, slicing open a portal into said space. I then look back at Simin once more and, lo and behold, there was a portal appearing right next to him- the same portal that I just cut right in front of me.

"Shit!" I exclaimed under my breath. "I shouldn't have let my guard down around him."

I then slide my sword back into the scabbard with a bit of frustration directed toward myself with my movements due to allowing myself to open up to him the way I did. Suddenly, as I put my weapon away, the burning wood let out another loud pop as it spat out more embers accompanied by another distant howl that sounded throughout the forest causing me to put my hand back on the hilt of my blade in response. I couldn't tell whether it was a beowolf or just a normal wolf. Most grimm can't survive in the extreme cold such as freezing or subzero temperatures, but I don't want to take chances. It's not close, but I should still be careful.

As the creature of darkness howled through the night, I could hear Simin whimpering again in his sleep as his breathing got a bit heavier as I turned and saw him pull my coat tighter around himself as his trembling grew a bit more tensed. His physical wounds may have healed, but I can tell his mental scars run very deep. I hope he'll be ready for tomorrow. He's going to have to be. Tomorrow, he's going to learn another very valuable, yet very cruel, lesson: the burden of survival.

**CHAPTER END**

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Hey, everyone!

So yeah... this was a long as hell chapter. I'm really sorry if it was boring. This is probably going to be the longest chapter in the entire volume and maybe even the hole series. I doubt any other chapter will be as long as this one. This chapter is most likely going to be a hit or a miss with the readers, so I'm a bit nervous as I'm taking a risk here with this very slow burn chapter.

Now my reasoning for doing such a slow burn for this chapter is actually for two reason:

1.) is because, Raven and Simin don't get that many casual moments like this where they just sit down and just chat, so there was a lot I wanted to do get in this chapter. They do get some one on one moments in later chapters like in chapter 15 and the third anthology chapter for example, but they are mostly Raven just trying to teach Simin a lesson rather than them just having a casual conversation (if that makes any sense). The only other time Raven and Simin have a moment like this is in chapter 20 when they're both sitting next to a tree exhausted after a big fight and are just having a somber conversation with each other.

2.) Is because I didn't want to rush Raven opening up to Simin and have it be too soon in the chapter since Raven is a very abrasive character, who most likely would not open up so easily. Because of that, I didn't want her to open up too soon. And since this was the first moment like this that Raven and Simin actually get to have with each other on top of the fact that this is the chapter we get Raven's backstory, I had Simin and Raven go over a lot of things with each other to essentially slowly ease Raven into warming up to Simin and open up to him, especially since one of the main goals (as well as the ultimate goal) of this chapter was for Raven and Simin to form a bond. For example, at the beginning of the chapter, Raven refuses to lend Simin her jacket, but at the end, she gives to him with the intent on keeping him warm. Also the part where Simin gives Raven his knife and Raven returns it and her hands feels slightly warmer, that was meant to be symbolic as to how Raven is starting to warm up to Simin and the tipping point is when Simin allows her to inspect his mother's knife. Anyway, I guess you could say I was trying to kill two birds with one stone.

That reminds me. Since I mentioned bonds in the previous paragraph, for those who do not know, in the actual series, Raven's semblance is the ability to slice portals to people she's formed bonds with. And since she's formed a bond with Simin in this chapter, she can now create portals to him.

Also, as we saw in this chapter, I did some more rewrites with aura. I hope I did a good job at explaining it. Also I basically teased in this chapter that I will be expanding on aura in the future and I will be doing my own things with it from that point on once I get to those new things with aura.

Also I don't know if I did a good job at implying it or if I was too vague, but I wanted to point out that Raven's helmet used to be Shepherd's helmet, which was why she was staring at it.

On another note, you have no idea how stressful it was for me to make Raven's backstory fit within my timeline of the series. I had to pull a lot of tricks (some sneaky and some obvious) to get this to work and fit. Funny story, back when I had posted chapter 4 earlier this year, chapter 13 was already written and when I was doing some proofreading, I noticed there was a slight discrepancy in the timeline and it almost completely wrecked it. Because of that, I had to do a major overhaul of the timeline and reorganize because originally I had my timeline in the form of a literal line with tick marks. Now I have it in the form a spreadsheet and makes it easier for me to keep track of things.

(SPOILERS FOR NEXT CHAPTER AND VOLUME 2!) In the next chapter, we're going to have a fight. And it is Raven's first fight in this volume. (Raven gets a total of 4 fights this volume and her third fight, which is in chapter 19, is my favorite). Raven is going to fight someone named Chatareus and she's going to kill him. Now the name Chatareus might sound very familiar to those who are familiar with Mark Zhang's SLVR, especially in relation to the character, Vella (a future member of SLVR). Well that's because that's also the name of Vella's weapon. So in other words, the next chapter is going to have heavy connections to Vella's backstory. Chatareus is Vella's older brother and when he gets killed, Vella will name her weapon after her brother (since it was originally her brother's weapon that she takes up). However, I should note that Vella does not physically appear this volume. Her first appearance will be in Volume 2 where she tries to avenge her brother by hunting down and picking a fight with Raven.

Anyway, I should also note that my semester is almost over, which means it's almost time for me to get back to my normal posting schedule. As always, I will post announcements and updates on my profile page at the bottom if anyone wants to stay up to date. I might take a small rest before working on chapter 14 though since this was a very draining chapter to work on and since I still need to revise chapter 20 as well.

And again, I am really sorry if this chapter was a drag to get through or was boring.

As always, feedback is welcomed (especially since this is a monster of a chapter so I'm sure I've made a few slip-ups in there) and I'm always happy to answer questions. Now I will leave you with fun fact #14:

Fun fact #14: Originally, I was going to give Shepherd a semblance, but at the last second, I decided to scrap it and repurpose it for a future character. The name of it was Time Lapse. I won't say exactly what it does yet, but we can probably guess from the name. Also, in the backstory, when Raven and Qrow get attacked by ursai, I was originally going to have it be my version of a wendigo grimm that I created. But I decided against it because it would have been lame to tease such a cool grimm only to just kill it immediately like fodder. I'm still going to use my version of the wendigo grimm, but it will be saved for Volume 2.