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ABC Thought

Chapter 21

"I'm home."

Once getting back I announce my return and Shinobu, our old butler greets me at the living room. There, I see my mom is sitting on the sofa and I approach to take a seat next to her.

"Welcome home, dear. You're a bit late. Tatsuya was here a while ago."

She informs while pouring a cup of tea for me.

"Tatsuya-kun?"

"Yes, He came to ask about your health's condition. Bringing you fruits and other stuff right here."

My mom points at a nicely fruit basket sitting neatly at the corner of the table. And I gasp in awed at how fancy it looks. "Wow a whole basket?"

"That boy seems to cares a lot about you."

Therefore she beams, recalling how Tatsuya has comes over to visit with different kind of present from time to time without the girl knowing.

"Yeah, Tatsuya-kun is indeed a good friend."

Taking a look at the basket, there are indeed fruits. From oranges, apples to vitamins, books, a lucky charm. Guess I should find Tatsuya and thank him tomorrow.

At Shiomi's room

Once done taking a warm bath, I jump onto my comfy bed and hug the pillow lying nearby. Sighing in relief as those negative feelings have completely washed away along with the water.

This is definitely a sight of exhaustion. Therefore a good sleep would put me back normal in no time.

And I've never been so wrong, however…

3 days later (Friday)

At the school yard (After school)

"…Shiomi-chan… Shiomi-chan!"

While walking to the school's gate, I hear Hana's voice calling from behind. Therefore I greet her and she pouts.

"We've already met this morning! What's wrong with you? Are you still tired?"

She complains about me spacing out a lot lately. Just then, Kasumi passes us by.

"Did something happen with your love life?"

"L-Love?!"

Her question causes me to choke on my breath. Notices my strange reaction, Kasumi raises her eyebrow suspiciously.

"Did you have a fight with Tatsuya?"

"What are you talking about? There's nothing between me and Tatsuya."

In instant I deny the ridiculous idea as we are no more than friends. As Hana grabs my arm to prevent me from running away, Kasumi continue with her inquiry.

"Shiomi-chan, don't tell me that you actually have someone else?"

As if having been seen through my soul, I lose my cool and begin fluttering here and there.

"N-No way! I'm not having anyone!"

Only waiting for that, Kasumi smirks and drags me away.

"Hah! That reaction of yours obviously means you do! Come on, you gotta tell us everything! I'm not letting you get away this time!"

Despite my hopeless struggle within her grip to get out.

"No, that's not it!"

Meanwhile...

Sesshomaru is standing the middle of the group's resting spot. He has been staring at the sky above for a while now, as if waiting for someone's arrival.

How odd, Sesshomaru-sama seems to be restless lately. I wonder what could be the cause?

Sitting from afar, Jaken watches his lord's confusing action and unsure what is going on.

Always being by Sesshomaru's side, Nanase has also recognized a stir hidden behind his strange behavior. And her instinct is warning her that this is not a good sign.

"Aw, I wonder what keeps Onee-chan so long."

Rin pouts in boredom, picking up a wild flower on the ground to play with. It's been three days and yet they haven't moved away from their spot, even for an inch.

Nanase's ears straightened up once hearing Rin mentions the older girl.

Hold on, didn't Sesshomaru act like this not too long after she left?

She bites her lips, getting irritated for every unanswered mysteries about her. That girl cannot be the reason, can she? Is there something else between them that I don't know of?

"Pssh...Rin, at that time. Didn't you say she's upset?"

Trying to soften his voice as much as possible so that Sesshomaru wouldn't hear, Jaken asks Rin and she nods.

"Well, yeah. I think so."

"Do you know why?"

"Uhm… I'm not sure."

Now that I think about it, that girl is definitely takes longer than the usual to be back. After spending a long moment trying to solve the puzzle, Jaken blurts out.

"Hmm… Sesshomaru-sama is not missing her now, is he?"

And Jaken earns himself fatal kick to the face by Sesshomaru for his mindless word. "Bwegh!"

Figures that the silver haired lord is about to fly off somewhere, Nanase approaches him.

"Sesshomaru-sama, where are you going?"

However he ignores her call and disappears into the white clouds up above. Not going to lose her target so easily, Nanase decides to follow his scent.

Is he going to that human girl's place? Hmph! I have to find out!

Rin stands up once she sees the female Inu Youkai dashes off into the thick forest.

"Awww. Now she's gone too…"

At the Bone-Eaters well

Nanase reaches to an old-looking well and sees Sesshomaru lands right into it. Confused, She walks over to the well's entrance to have a look.

However there is no one but an empty ground. "Where did he go?!"

Curious about this strange phenomenon, Nanase jumps in as well and observes the bottom closely. Only to find dirt, some shattered bones, long vines and stiff wall.

"I don't get it. This is just a normal empty well."

Then she gets out of the well and sees that the surroundings are still the same. Nothing changes before and after she goes through the thing.

"What's going on? His scent ends right here yet he's not here. Did he just vanish into thin air?!"

Back to Shiomi

At the Ice cream shop

"Come on, spill it out already. You're dating someone, aren't you."

With a mouthful of ice cream, Kasumi points her spoon at my face, questioning me.

"Kasumi-chan, I told you many times already. I'm not dating anyone at the moment, really!"

I let out a long sigh, trying to explain to her again that she's just overreacting things. Yet Kasumi keeps refusing to listen.

"But you have to have another guy friend, right?"

"Uhm, yeah...?"

Only waiting to hear that, Kasumi slams her hands onto the table that startles me and the other guests inside the store.

"I knew it! You've been hiding from us all this time!"

Her voice is so loud that I have to gesture her to keep quiet, embarrassed as everyone is now staring at us.

"Shhh...! And no, I'm not. I was trying to find a good chance to tell you guys about him actually!"

"Do you meet that guy often?"

"Well, yes."

"Does he have a girlfriend?"

"No, I don't think so."

Simply with those answers, Hana and Kasumi conclude. So she does seeing someone.

"Tell me more about this guy."

Hana requests some info about this mysterious man and I start to describe about him. A man that is kind of cold and mean when first meet. Doesn't talk much and being expressionless in most of situation. Although at the same time he's also nice and caring.

"Eh? This guy doesn't sound so bad. Then why did you two fight?"

Hana tilts her head, somewhat have pictured him inside her mind. Seems average and a little weird, though she doesn't think that this kind of guy would suit her friend liking.

"We're not fighting. It's just that…"

Fighting, huh? I don't think that's it. Because clearly none of us has done something wrong. More like it's only me who is being crazy here. Acting like a spoiled brat and leaves the team out of the blue.

"It's just what?"

"Just some days ago, I felt annoyed when I saw him sitting together with another girl - Huh?"

And I almost bite my tongue at that moment.

Another girl? But why does it have to be Nanase and not someone else?

Yukinari Nanase the Inu Daiyoukai of the Southern lands. Didn't all of this happen after she announced to be Sesshomaru's mate? These uneasy feelings, the pain inside my chest, everything...

Was it because I envy of Nanase?

Was that why I feel irritated whenever seeing Nanase and Sesshomaru together? Why I felt so oddly lonely and so out of place?

Don't tell me I am having feelings for him?! For Sesshomaru?!

Staring at the ice cream cup on the table, my face turns bright red by the thought.

Me? Love Sesshomaru?!

Hana waves her hand near Shiomi's face to wake her up from her daydreams and suddenly she yells, almost causing the girl to falls off their chairs.

"I'm not jealous of her!"

It's not until then I finally snap back to reality and seeing both of my friends are dumbfounded. Resting her chin on one hand, Kasumi comments.

"Hmm...You and him aren't dating yet you're jealous? Is it one-sided?"

"So, when are you going to confess?" Hana leans closer to ask and I blush even more.

Confess my feeling? I don't think so. There can't be a chance for me, a human, to do so. Not to mention that I do not have a slightest clue of how Sesshomaru thinks of me. A companion? A friend? A servant? Or simply someone who can take care of Rin whenever he's away.

It's just hopeless the more I think about our relationship. Our relationship, huh? Never realize such word can sound so strange and distant.

"I won't."

Therefore I refuse to express my feelings and instantly earn a strange look from Kasumi.

"Huh? Why not? Are you going to wait for him instead?"

"Not that either. What I mean is it's not going to work out between us."

Trying to get me out of negative thinking, Hana suggests. "How do you know? You gotta try to find out, Shiomi-chan"

"No, there's no need to. I just... Know."

It's better for both Sesshomaru and me this way. Just staying as friends as we are now is already good enough.

At night

Shiomi's room

"Hm…This should do."

I write onto the paper nonstop, trying to answer the Physics questions on my notebook and once again, Hana's words pop up inside my mind.

"You have to try to find out."

Irritated, I drop my pencil, again. Impossible, only feelings itself isn't enough.

Our species and status, lifestyles, not to mention even the era we're living in are different. We just don't match with each other and I lose to Nanase in almost everything.

No matter how much I think about it. There is absolutely no reason for him to choose me over her.

*Flash back*

"Sesshomaru-sama will never accept a woman like you! Give up and go home already!"

Jaken yelled, trying to shoo Nanase away for a thousand times. Though she just laughed it off and treated him like a child throwing his tantrum.

"Now, now my dear grumpy little Imp. I dare say it would be wiser for you to behave and approve our relationship."

"Why would that be wiser for me?"

Therefore she explained that with her powerful support, Sesshomaru shall defeat that Lord of the South and conquer the Southern lands in the near future.

"Imagine all fame, power and wealth he will gain soon after."

"You… I…"

"In fact, you all better be grateful that your lord has found me. As it is only I who shall be his perfect mate, no one else."

Actually, it was Rin who found you in the first place. But I doubt that would be important anymore.

"Does that mean Nanase onee-san is going to become Sesshomaru-sama's wife?"

Rin's sudden question somehow caused my heart to skip a beat. Wife...?

And Nanase shifted her head to us, chuckles. "If that's what called in human term. Then yes. I'm going to become Sesshomaru's wife.

"And together, we will bear even stronger generation of the Inu Daiyoukai. Whether you like it or not. Servants."

Her sharp golden eyes swiftly moved from Rin to Jaken and stopped once meeting mine.

*End flashback*

Dammit! How many times do I have to keep reminding you that I'm not your servant?!

"This is crazy! I can't concentrate at all!"

Sitting in one place and sulking won't get me anywhere. I decide to free my mind by taking a walk in my garden. Before able to reach to the door however, a gust of wind pushes the windows wide open and Sesshomaru gently lands into the middle of my room.

"Sesshomaru?! What are you doing here?"

Ignores my question, he takes a quick scan of the surrounding before approaching me. "Where have you been?"

"What do you mean? I have been home, where else?"

"Why didn't you come back?"

Now that he's standing too close. I back away while trying to figure out an excuse. Finally remember the books and notebooks scattering on my desk.

"T-That's right, this week is the exam week! I was too busy preparing for it to return!"

Still, he frowns after hearing my explanation and I get even more nervous.

"It's true, believe me!"

We're stuck in silent for a whole good minute until Sesshomaru speaks again, staring into my eyes.

"If whoever or whatever dared to upset you. Then I, Sesshomaru shall eliminate them. No matter what it costs."

His sudden concern causes me to lost for words.

"Yes... I will. Thank you"

Only waiting for my answer, Sesshomaru caresses my face. And I restraint myself from holding that slender hand. Just shut my eyes tightly, slowly drowning into his warm touch.

Your kindness… Why is it hurting me so...?

If only I can tell him to stop treating me too nicely. Because I afraid that I will no longer able to handle a heartbreak when seeing him with Nanase.

Sesshomaru. Did you know that for days without you I have been thinking a lot about what happened back then. And that If I had acted a little bit more unsympathetic, Nanase wouldn't get a chance to become your mate. Then we could still be happy as we were used to be.

Love, it has turned me into such a selfish person. Don't you think so too, Sesshomaru?

In the end, I have to force myself to wake up from this beautiful dream.

"Anyway I have to return studying. Can you please leave?"

And I turn away, facing my back on him. "I'm really grateful that you're worried about me but I need to be alone right now."

Sesshomaru pauses for a couple of seconds before stating.

"You're avoiding me."

And I flinch at his words, they are so accurate that it makes my heart aches.

"What are you saying? I'm only trying to tell you that I need to study, not avoiding you."

Being as stubborn as ever, I refuse to give in and convince him that everything is fine.

Now that reminds me. Isn't this the first time I ask him to leave? Quite ironic considering that he's always been the first one to disappear.

After waiting for a while and he still remains, I decide to make my move.

"Fine. If you don't then I will."

As I'm about get out of the room however, Sesshomaru grabs my arm and yanks me back to face him.

"What are you hiding from me?"

"I'm not hiding anything. You're overthinking it!"

I protest, trying hard not to look into his eyes. Yet my stubbornness only causes Sesshomaru to lose his cool and he tighten his grips on my arm.

"You're lying!"

"I'm not lying! Let me go!"

The more I struggle to get away, the more painful it gets and I have to yelp out loud for him to stop.

"Sesshomaru! You're hurting me!"

Immediately Sesshomaru releases me and I step a few steps back from him, trembling in fear. Having seen my reaction, Sesshomaru frowns and speaks bitterly.

"Fine, I'll leave you alone. If that is what you wish."

His voice is shaking and he clenches his hand into fist, so strong that I can see a tint of blood coming out of his palm. Without further ado, Sesshomaru turns away and jumps out of the window.

"Sesshomaru!"

I call out to him and rush to the window, looking for the white figure within the dark sky yet he's nowhere to be found.

The next day

At Lunch

"Sogo-san, would you like to go see a movie with me tomorrow morning?"

While we're standing at the school hallway, Tatsuya asks me.

"A movie?"

"Well, I notice that you've been down ever since you came back to school. I don't know what have happened but… I hope that doing this may be able to cheer you up."

Therefore he explains his reason, scratching the back of his head shyly.

"It was just due to stress from studying. Don't worry too much."

And I smile to ease his worry. Still, this maybe a good chance for me to relax a bit and forget the bad memories. So there is no reason for me not to go with him.

"Sure. When will we meet?"

Tatsuya's face brightened up like a sunny day. He then arranges the time for us which is 9 A.M tomorrow and soon after the school's bell rings.

Once I return to my seat , Hana asks what has happened out there and I tell them everything.

"So you're dating Tatsuya now?"

"Huh? Dating? Of course not. We're just friends hanging out on free time."

Somewhat feeling bad for the dude, Hana helps him send Shiomi a hint.

"Uhm… You know Shiomi-chan. Maybe there is a chance that Tatsuya is interest in you?"

"Nah, you probably imagining it."

Wow, she really is dense. Poor Tatsuya... Hana and Kasumi look at in each other speechlessly.

Next morning

At the movie theater

"Wait here, I will go buy tickets real quick."

Once Tatsuya is gone out of sight, I lean onto the wall nearby to wait for him. Just then something familiar gets into my view and my jaw drops.

Wait a minute, isn't that…

Rubbing both of my eyes to check if I'm not daydreaming and sadly. It is Sesshomaru who is standing in the middle of the street not too far away and what's worse. People around him are whispering and pointing at him.

From my side, I can even hear that he's mistaken to be a cosplayer who is lost his way to a cosplay festival.

Getting panicked and without thinking, I rush to where he is and drag him away into a corner of the nearest building. Once making sure that we're safe from people's attentions, I begins questioning him. Almost shouting to his face out of shock.

"What the hell are you doing here?! In the middle of the crowd like that. It's not like you at all!"

Sesshomaru ignores my questions again and shows his interest in Tatsuya instead.

"Who is that man? Why are you with him?"

My eyebrow raises, can no longer comprehend what this dude is thinking inside that thick skull of his.

"Tatsuya is my friend and schoolmate. He invited me out today so that's why I'm here. What about him?"

Hearing so, Sesshomaru frowns. Recalling to what I said about needing some time alone to study.

"You said you were busy."

"Well.. I need to take a break, you know. I can't just study all the time?"

Only then my voice starts to crack and Sesshomaru stares at me suspiciously.

What the heck? Why is he acting as if I'm being caught cheating on him?! I'm not doing anything wrong, right?! Wait a minute! Did I just doubt myself?!

"Anyway please return. If you stay here any longer, who knows what disaster is going to happen."

Therefore I try to convince him to go home and wait for me there. By assuring him that I will return once the exam week is over. Yet Sesshomaru refuses to move or speak.

"Damn it, I don't have time to argue with you right now."

Irritated, I groan out loud and only to find out that I'm already 15 minutes late into the movie from the watch on my hand. Figure that talking to Sesshomaru is useless and not wanting Tatsuya to wait, I take my leave.

"Fine. Do what you want. I'm getting out of here."

However before I can even take any step away, Sesshomaru has grabbed my hand and stopped me from going. Confused, I shift my head back.

"Sesshomaru?"

"Don't go."

It's not until this very moment he asks, holding my hand tightly that our eyes finally be able to meet each other once again..