"Sure," Arlo drew out the word, quirking a brow. "Something important?"
"That depends," Rem said, now coming down the stairs.
"On?" Arlo replied, crossing his arms as he leaned against the side of his desk.
"What you classify as important," Rem finished.
Confusion ran through Arlo once more as he tried to decipher what this all could be about. Rem wasn't exactly one who usually requested to "talk," and if he did it was only about business. But Arlo couldn't help but feel like that wasn't the topic of conversation right then. So what was?
Shot in the dark, but it's probably about a certain brunette…
"Okay…" Arlo began again. "Why don't you just tell me what this is all about then?"
Better to just rip off the bandaid, right?
Rem nodded, quickly grabbing the back of a nearby wooden chair so he could pull it over. He then placed it a couple of yards from Arlo and took a seat. His stature remained firm and calm, but his gaze was serious as he settled.
Well, this certainly does feel important.
Arlo wanted to question the man once more, or perhaps order him to start speaking that instant before he reached any level of annoyance. However, it didn't seem fair to use his position as Captain in his personal affairs. Besides, Rem managed to continue before Arlo could do either of those things.
"I couldn't help but notice that you and Phyllis have been spending a lot of time together," Rem spoke, leaning forward a little.
That wasn't what Arlo had been expecting. Perhaps it was only his paranoia that had caused him to make ridiculous assumptions beforehand. The ones about the clumsy brunette...
Or perhaps, he needed to stop finishing this conversation before it even started. Rem had only mentioned one singular thought, and Arlo was now jumping to another set of conclusions. After all, he didn't even understand why Rem had been mentioning his time with Phyllis. He knew they were, and had been, seeing one another.
"Well… yes," Arlo started. "You know of my relationship, Rem."
Rem huffed out a laugh. "That's not what I meant. I'm saying… recently. Recently you two have been spending more time together than usual - even going out of your way to do so."
Arlo's brow furrowed at Rem's words. He could feel his heartbeat a little faster in his chest as he continued to try and make sense of where this conversation was planning to lead. He couldn't help but think he wasn't going to necessarily like it.
"Well, I suppose that's because we talked earlier this week about making some changes… and now we're both just trying," Arlo stated. He realized he had never really discussed the talk with Rem after all was said and done. Though, he didn't see why he would have.
Really, he hadn't even mentioned it to Sam. She only knew the further details because Phyllis was her best friend and had filled her in.
The only person Arlo had told was…
"Yeah, I heard Sam mention something about that," Rem confirmed.
Of course Sam had said something.
Arlo wanted to visibly groan and roll his eyes, but he decided to keep his childish reactions to himself. Instead, he nodded at Rem's words.
"She also mentioned something about you and Phyllis going on a date?" Rem continued, his words coming out a little slower.
Arlo shrugged. "We never had the chance to do it before, so I figured now was a good time. It wasn't exactly in good taste on my part - to wait so long."
Rem nodded and Arlo could see the man's jaw tense only slightly before he spoke again. "Do you think… you waited because you didn't necessarily believe you and Phyllis would make it this long?"
Arlo felt his body flinch back at Rem's words, the furrow in his brow growing deeper as he continued to accept their meaning.
"That's a little harsh, Rem - don't you think?" Arlo spoke, his tone somehow deeper.
"I'm sorry if I'm out of line," Rem stated. "But I've been on the sidelines watching all of this happen - never allowing myself to step in - but this time I couldn't just sit back."
Arlo stared at his friend, noticing that his heartbeat still hadn't calmed, but it also hadn't increased either. He chose to say nothing - waiting for Rem to continue as he tried to ease his exasperation. After all, Rem had just mentioned that this took a lot for him to come forward - Arlo wasn't going to disregard the man and succumb to random irritation without hearing him out.
What good would that do?
"I just don't understand it," Rem carried on. "I get that you talked and now you're following up your word by working through the actions, but… why did you have the talk in the first place?"
"What do you mean?" Arlo said.
"What I mean is…" Rem trailed off, his eyes casting away as he was suddenly lost in thought. Though, Arlo could see the way his leg bounced only twice and his fingers slightly knotted together.
Finally, the man let out a breath and looked back to Arlo, his head shaking.
"To be blunt, we both know this thing with you and Phyllis isn't right, so why are you trying so hard to make things work?" Rem spoke.
Arlo noticed an ache in his chest. He even felt tugging on both sides of his body as he let Rem's concern set in. He almost didn't believe Rem had actually said those words.
One half of him wanted to instantly challenge the man, claiming that he had no idea what he was talking about. However, the other part of him wanted to let out the breath that he felt he had been holding for months. To take comfort in the fact that someone was finally… seeing…
No, no. That wasn't right. That's what Arlo had felt before . Before he gave Phyllis the benefit of the doubt and had decided to actually try. But now he knew better. Phyllis and him had been doing great over the last week. It was clear they had both listened to what the other had said during their "talk," and were now actively applying it.
But was that what was making Arlo feel good about this entire thing? Or was he actually feeling hopeful due to the progress Phyllis and him were making?
The latter. Of course it was the latter.
"Isn't right?" Arlo asked, the arms crossed over his chest growing tighter. "That's hardly fair, Rem. I admit that things seemed off between us before, but that's because we weren't progressing how either of us wanted. Somehow we got carried away with the physical aspects."
"You both got carried away?" Rem asked, his tone making Arlo's shoulders tense.
"Yes, of course. But now we've talked and it's clear that we both wanted a more mental and emotional connection - we just never took the proper steps to get to know the other on that level before. It was always muddied up by other people," Arlo finished.
Rem leaned forward in his chair once more. "And that I agree with. That last statement. 'Other people are muddying it up.' First thing you've said this entire time that actually makes sense."
Arlo let out a quick breath, trying to follow Rem's reasoning.
"It has been muddied by other people," Rem confirmed. "Because Sam kept putting these ideas in your head, Arlo."
Arlo couldn't help but let out a scoff at this. "Oh, come on, Rem."
"It's true," Rem continued. "I'm sorry to just jump to conclusions, but all the facts are right there. Look, Phyllis is great - that's clear. But when this all started I didn't see you have any draw to her or notice you planning on making any moves yourself. Sam placed these ideas in your head and put things in motion. You just never said no."
Arlo swallowed hard as he listened to his friend carry on. Now his heart was beginning to beat a little faster.
"That's not true," he finally managed.
Rem's chest fell suddenly as he leaned backward once more.
"I like Phyllis," Arlo spoke. "Sam may have set us up, but I chose to keep pursuing it."
"Right," Rem agreed. "You like Phyllis - we all like Phyllis. But I'm finding it hard to believe that you like Phyllis in the way that Sam hopes you do."
Why did this have to keep coming back to Sam? Arlo was plenty capable of making decisions for himself. Just because Sam had been in the equation didn't mean that Arlo couldn't have developed feelings for Phyllis even after his friend had originally planted the idea.
"Rem, I understand what you're implying, but it's ridiculous. I do like Phyllis. I know that it wasn't necessarily fireworks from the start, but sometimes that's just how it goes. You have to take your time, learn about the person the proper way, and go from there. That's why we're going on the date. To stop getting ahead of ourselves and learn about each other mentally so we can move forward. Neither of us had that chance before, and I can't say something isn't right just because it wasn't perfect from the start."
Rem grew quiet as he brows knitted together, his eyes were now aimed down to the floor - causing Arlo to only feel sunken in as he resided in the silence.
What could the man be thinking?
Had he finally gotten through to him?
Then Rem's eyes came back up, still filled with a firm seriousness.
"Is that what you really want?" Rem asked.
Arlo's chest clenched. "What are you getting at, Rem?"
"From my experience…" Rem started, looking as though he were picking his words carefully from a pile. "You shouldn't have to try so hard for these things. I don't know about you, but if this thing between you and Phyllis was meant to happen then you wouldn't have needed to have that talk."
"Well, we both know I'm not the best at articulating my feelings," Arlo jumped in.
"Agreed," Rem got right back on track. "And that's why I think you're doing all of this. You're not admitting your true feelings and just doing what's easy."
"Seriously?" Arlo said, shaking his head. His heart hammered harder into his chest.
"Yes. Arlo, you shouldn't have to try so hard for a mental and emotional attraction - it should just be there. It should appear on its own and be clear… easy. Don't you think so? Don't you think that everything would sort itself out if the right person came along? That it would be effortless and all fall into place?"
As Rem's last question hit Arlo, he could feel his eyes shift to the floor. His mind was a whirlwind, filling with thoughts that he had no control over as scene after scene played in his mind.
Of a conversation in a yard with a green jacket hanging in his hand. Of sitting beside the sea as wind whipped through hair and words fell from mouths. Of harsh commands leaving one's mouth as they longed to protect, while the other refused protection. Of a warm, tiny body leaning into his almost… effortlessly.
Arlo gave his head a good shake, wiping the thoughts away as if they were words on a whiteboard.
Nothing. It was all nothing.
Thankfully, Arlo found himself unable to dwell on the thoughts further as Rem chimed in once more.
"I mean, were you even physically attracted to Phyllis at the start? Or even now?"
"Yes, of course. She's beautiful," Arlo stated.
"I know she's beautiful," Rem spoke. "But are you attracted to her?"
"What are you going on about?" Arlo asked. "Is there a point to this?"
Rem shrugged. "I know how physical attraction works, but I also know you well enough to believe that you would never solely drive on physical attraction. I think Phyllis got carried away in that regard, but not you."
Arlo wanted to interject once more, but found that he couldn't. His skin felt warm as he listened to Rem, unsure what exactly was causing his sudden reaction.
"You can't force the mental and emotional attraction," Rem stated. "You can't force any of this to happen in a relationship. Whether it's connection or attraction - especially when this all wasn't your idea in the first place. Just like how you can't necessarily force yourself not to feel something for someone that's out of your control. You can try to push things to the side, but they will always come back."
Arlo felt himself stiffen at Rem's last words. He hated how they made his entire body become ablaze, to the point that he could feel stomach acid rising up his throat.
He didn't like what Rem was implying, and he surely couldn't address that now.
So he chose to address something else. Something a little easier.
"I'm not forcing anything," Arlo spoke, trying to keep his voice light. He didn't want Rem to see he was getting to him. Even though his body language likely gave him away.
"I am attracted to Phyllis in those ways," he continued. "And I do feel a connection between us. I only wanted the chance to grow that further and get to know her more."
"But why? Up until about a week ago you seemed uncomfortable with this all. Like you didn't want it. What made that change?" Rem asked.
That was a valid question. Arlo had to admit that. He recalled how he was acting at the Round Table that Friday night - how his body language was obviously speaking for itself. Or even the times before then. When Sam would mention Phyllis and he would stammer until he could change the subject, or when Phyllis would show up and Arlo would try to keep things cordial in front of his fellow friends.
Of course Rem had noticed the change from then to now, and he likely knew that something within Arlo hadn't just suddenly switched on its own. It had to be coming from somewhere else.
And as much as Arlo didn't want to admit it, he felt the words already pouring out of him.
"Last Friday at the Round Table, when you were all dancing, Jo and I talked about the whole thing," Arlo told him. "She helped me identify what was wrong and what I could do to potentially change it. So I took her advice. I went to Phyllis and talked to her about everything going on and tried to see how she felt too. Which leads us all the way back to now. We both wanted to try."
Rem's head was tilted back as he stared up at the ceiling, but he then let out a laugh as Arlo finished talking. Bringing his head forward again, he continued to smile - one of disbelief.
"Jo… Jo was the one who gave you the advice," Rem said. It wasn't a question.
Arlo felt his stomach flip, but ignored it with everything he could. It was nothing. Nothing.
"So you knew something was wrong and decided to fix it… because Jo told you to try…" Rem repeated.
Arlo's brows pulled together. "Yes."
"Arlo… I'm sorry. It's great that you didn't just give up on Phyllis and everything, especially without checking in with her first… but if you were even having an inch of doubt then you should have just broken it off," Rem finished.
His head was spinning. Arlo couldn't help but feel like the tugging within him had ended, but now he was taking blows from every side instead.
"I didn't want to break it off," Arlo told him. "I'm trying to do the right thing here, Rem. I thought you of all people would be supportive of that."
"But you're not doing the right thing. Especially for yourself - and that's my main concern," Rem stated. "This whole time you've mentioned trying and doing the right thing, but did someone else make you feel that way or did you decide that for yourself?"
"Bloody hell. Myself, Rem," Arlo said, his muscles rolling out a little. "I can think for myself."
Rem nodded. "Exactly. Which is why I think you're completely aware of what you're doing right now."
"And what is it that I'm doing?" Arlo asked.
"Like I said before, forcing something to work while also forcing something aside," Rem said.
Once again, Arlo fought off the urge to show any reaction to Rem's words. After all, Rem was only drawing more conclusions.
"What am I forcing aside?"Arlo asked, shaking his head.
Silence broke between them for a moment until Rem let out an exasperated breath. Arlo felt his harsh stare piercing into him, but he remained unwavering.
Rem let out another breath. "Come on, Arlo…"
No.
The realization fled over Arlo within seconds, proving that Rem had no need to continue. His muscles had only grown tense as if they were suddenly made of stone.
How dare Rem go that far.
"I don't know what ideas you've gotten into your head, but you're mistaken," Arlo stated, his voice hard.
"Arlo…"
"I'm making this decision for myself. No one told me to ask Phyllis on a date… to spend more time with her. I may have been advised to talk to Phyllis and go from there, but this was my decision."
Jesus. He couldn't even say her name now. "I may have been advised…" Bloody hell.
Shake it off.
"So you can save your arguments because I do want this. Not for anyone else. Not because I'm forcing anything to stay, or leave for that matter. The decisions I'm making are for me ."
As he finished, Arlo stared at his friend, noticing the change in his expression. Rem's features had now smoothed, his dark eyes had become softer.
"Arlo..." Rem tried again, but the draw of his name only annoyed him further.
Pushing himself off of the desk, Arlo started to adjust his gloves as he shook his head.
"Forget it," he stated. "There is no use continuing this conversation. I'm heading out."
He then began to walk towards the door, noticing Rem beginning to stand from his chair. But Arlo only continued to move away, his body feeling heavy with each of his harsh steps.
Electricity ran through him as his hand touched the wood of the door, his frustration sitting over every part of his body - it was especially thick on his brow.
However, when he began to push the door open, Arlo had one final thought drift into his head, causing him to stop with only one foot out. He turned back to Rem, seeing the man stand there with a new sadness upon his face.
But Arlo didn't let him phase him.
Especially as his words fell from his lips.
"And it doesn't always fall into place all on its own. Sometimes it can be just as hard when it's the right person."
With that, Arlo fully slipped out of the door before shutting it firmly behind him. The moment he heard it close, he waited for the sense of relief. For that drawn out breath to leave his body, empty his lungs, and make him feel like there was an actual conclusion.
But it didn't come.
Instead, he stood in the grass, blinded by the bright sun now hanging above him as he felt his face and arms become sticky from the thick air . There was no breeze or spring chill passing through to cool his skin, but only the humidity of summer that made the air feel heavy and catch in his throat as he inhaled.
His body was tightened in a way that made him feel as though he was trembling, causing him to want to shake out every limb in one big jolt. Only, he didn't. He stood there, swallowing the lump that had grown in his throat as he failed to take deep breaths.
His first serious and personal conversation he ever had with Rem and it had to end like that . To his credit, he knew it was his fault that it hadn't ended on great terms, but he felt it was justified in its own right.
Rem wouldn't listen to him. No matter what Arlo's reasoning had been, Rem stuck to his beliefs and refused to waver. Even when Arlo had simply reassured him that his plan was thought out and his feelings were valid.
Surely he had done that… right? He had to admit that he wasn't fully sure what his parting words to Rem had meant, but they had stumbled out of him rather suddenly. Which in that case, a lot of what Arlo had said during their discussion could have left him in a similar fashion.
He stood there, his hand rubbing his chin as he tried to replay what he had said in relation to Rem's own "argument." None of it seemed out of place.
But had it been true?
Arlo swallowed once more, ignoring the tight knot that had formed there again. He was so tired of his thoughts being scattered within his own mind, each one being cast about as if it were a piece of paper in a tornado. All he could do was reach, grab the closest one, and try to make sense of it while the others still danced around him.
What a mess.
The entire thing. From Rem coming to Arlo with his concerns about Phyllis - especially since Arlo had finally worked all of his mixed emotions - to the fact that Arlo had left in such an irritated rush. It was only, he couldn't even begin to describe how much it annoyed him to have someone question his word when he had worked so hard to straighten it out for himself.
He really had thought Rem would be supportive and accepting of what he was trying to do.
But Rem hadn't been. And part of Arlo - the part that wasn't succumbing to anger - felt guilty that he hadn't handled his friend's honesty better.
Rem had never said anything like that to Arlo before. The whole conversation could have been classified as the "deepest talk they had ever had." Perhaps that was why Rem's logic was piercing into Arlo's skin and thoughts.
And the more he sat with Rem's words, the more indifferent he felt. The tugging that he had felt… it was resurfacing, but now it was also partnered with the blows.
Arlo knew Rem cared. He could pick it out in every sentence that Rem spoke during their little "talk." However, Arlo hadn't wanted to relish in the man's concern, but to push it away. Especially when Rem had insinuated certain circumstances with…
Arlo's mind drifted off momentarily as he glanced over, seeing the infirmary standing to his left. He felt his shoulders relax as his mouth fell into a line. As he stood staring at the door, he couldn't help but imagine the scene within… the brunette sitting in a chair as Xu fussed over her toe… all while she continually insisted it was "fine."
Tearing his eyes away, Arlo let out a sigh and felt the air rush out of his entire body.
He needed to stop this. Rem's words couldn't get to him and make him believe something was there when he had grown to accept the nothing. He didn't know why he kept coming back to it when it didn't matter. The friendship was what it was and he was fine with that - he had been holding onto that the last few days and had enjoyed every minute of it.
He enjoyed the friendship .
Just how he was enjoying spending time with Phyllis.
Rem could say whatever he liked, but he wasn't Arlo. He didn't know how he actually felt… he could only assume. And Arlo wasn't going to let assumptions ruin the plans he had made, or deter him from implementing them.
He had to try. He needed to. He wanted this. And no one had made that decision for him.
With that thought, Arlo felt himself straighten up as he finally took in the breath he had needed, despite the humidity. He looked out towards the ramp leading down from their hill, nodding to himself as he began to distance himself from the Civil Corps headquarters and his skeptical friend.
Others could believe whatever they wanted, but at the end of the day - this was only between Phyllis and him.
Arlo stood in front of her door, his hands residing in his pockets while his right knee gently bounced. He tried to keep his head clear as his focus remained on the wooden door. However, he found that silencing his thoughts wasn't exactly working.
No thinking about Rem.
You're going to enjoy tonight.
You were excited about tonight.
That's that.
We're not thinking about Rem.
The weather had taken a turn - the muggy air of the day now a warm and comfortable evening - which had a few of his fellow Portian's out and enjoying every second of it.
Letting his inner monologue quiet to a murmur, Arlo stared out at his surroundings, studying the individual scenes playing out before him. Whether they consisted of children playing a game of tag or others enjoying their dinner on a park bench, they brought a small smile to his face.
He couldn't help but wonder how he would be spending his own time if he hadn't made plans for the night.
One idea entered his mind, but was instantly cast away as he brought his attention back on the door before him. He continued to wait for the woman - though he wondered if she had heard his initial knock. He considered repeating his action, but found there was no need as the door was then pulled open.
"Hey," she spoke, adjusting her bag on her shoulder. "Sorry about that. I couldn't find my keys."
"No worries," Arlo spoke, giving her a smooth smile. As she stepped out and turned to lock her door, Arlo took a moment to study what she was wearing, noting her simple black dress that hugged her every curve. She definitely put him to shame. He had only traded his usual uniform for something more casual - leaving him in a brown leather jacket and without his beloved gloves.
"You look great," he finally voiced once she turned back to him. "I feel like I should be wearing a tux."
Phyllis let out a close mouthed laugh at this, her blue eyes shining up at him. "Nonsense. You look great."
Arlo smiled as a form of gratitude before he nodded in the direction of town. "Ready for dinner?"
"Absolutely," Phyllis said, gracefully following him in her heels as he began to lead the way. How she managed to wear such high heels everyday and never seemed phased was beyond him. He had to say he even admired it.
"How did your lab work go this afternoon? I know you mentioned you were worried because Xu was trusting you with more responsibilities, but did it go well? No explosions or potential mutations?" Arlo mused.
He looked at her, smiling as his hair fell in his eyes. Earlier, he had tried incessantly to smooth back the strands with water or gel in order to tame it somehow, but his efforts had failed. Hopefully Phyllis could forgive it.
Arlo watched as she looked at him, her smile growing as well before she shook her head. "No explosions or mutations," she confirmed. "Xu seemed impressed with my work, or he was just being nice."
"I'm sure he wasn't," Arlo answered. "Doctors probably have high standards, and I'm sure you met his."
Following his words, Arlo felt Phyllis' arm suddenly link through his. He hadn't even realized he still had his hands within his pockets, causing Phyllis to reach out to him in the only way she could.
A wave rushed through his brain, bringing him to slide his hand from his pocket and maneuver her touch until they were holding hands. Once their palms were met and their fingers were linked, Arlo came to the realization that this was the first time they had held hands. It felt… fine.
Fine? Really?
Okay… it felt… nice. Yeah, nice.
There wasn't his usual rush of uncertainty. If anything, he felt perfectly calm.
God, why was he expecting to feel anything different?
Pushing his thoughts aside, Arlo brought his attention back to the woman next to him, noticing how soft her skin was within his hand. He was sure his own palms felt rough and harsh due to his calluses. However, the smile on Phyllis' face insisted that she didn't mind.
"What about you?" Phyllis asked. "How was your afternoon protecting the town of Portia?"
Arlo let out a small laugh at her question. "It was uneventful. Seems even crime wanted to take a weekend."
Really, Arlo had spent a lot of his day doing rounds within the Abandoned Ruins, which were usually pretty quiet. Although, he did have a bit of entertainment when Toby had tried to sneak in and steal one of the jetpacks. That incident had only led to Arlo giving him another one of his "talks."
And then the rest of his day has been dedicated to finalizing his plans for their date. His biggest accomplishment was how he had managed to get everything sorted without giving Sam a single clue about any of his plans. Knowing her, she would dress up in all black and linger around in the shadows all night so she could witness the whole thing for herself. He wasn't going to let that happen.
"I wish I could say the same for the infirmary. It seems the need for medical care never takes weekends or holidays," Phyllis said, rolling her eyes.
"Lots of foot traffic today?" Arlo said, staring down at her.
"Oh, yes. Between Isaac coming in to show us his mole again and Mars showing up with multiple wedged fingers - it's never a dull day in the world of medicine," Phyllis spoke.
Arlo chuckled at the thought of Isaac storming in and insisting on flashing Phyllis his lower back for the eighth time that week. He never tired of hearing about the story whenever she brought it up.
As they walked, Arlo continued to poke fun at Isaac for his own enjoyment, and for Phyllis' as she continued to laugh as he pitched potential scenarios.
Finally reaching the Central Plaza, he felt Phyllis tug against his hand as she stepped in the direction of Main Street. Only, Arlo's own hand stopped her. Noticing his resistance, Phyllis looked up at him with full confusion wearing on her brow.
"I thought we were going to have dinner," Phyllis said.
Arlo nodded. "We are."
"I had assumed that meant we were going to the Round Table," Phyllis stated, pointing in the direction of the restaurant.
Arlo felt a smirk fall on his lips before he shook his head at the woman. "Not tonight. I thought we'd try something else. Something new."
He watched as her expression shifted from puzzled to wonder as she registered his words.
"Oh," she spoke. "And what does that include?"
"Well," Arlo began leading the way once more, but went in the direction of the Central Plaza gate instead. "If you follow me then you'll find out."
Accepting his words, Arlo felt Phyllis squeeze his hand gently as she allowed him to guide her out of the plaza until they reached the grassland. He then turned to his left, facing the eastern area, which immediately gave away their location for the night's dinner.
"Oh, Arlo," Phyllis said. "This is lovely."
In the patch of grass ahead of them laid a blanket accompanied by a picnic basket and multiple lanterns. Despite the setting sun, their little spot was still well lit and seemed just as inviting as he had hoped.
"I hope this will do," he told her, closing the distance to the spot. "I know it's not the infamous Round Table, but they still have wine and decent spaghetti."
"Lucky for you," Phyllis said, releasing his hand as they reached the blanket. "Spaghetti is my favorite food."
"That is lucky," Arlo confirmed with a smile as he lowered himself down. He made himself comfortable on the blanket, glad to see that Phyllis followed suit. Her eyes were wide and wondrous as she looked around at the lanterns, the light they eliminated reflecting in her eyes.
Arlo took that moment to open the bottle of wine and poured some into one of the glasses he had placed within the picnic basket. He then handed it to her before he poured himself some as well. He wasn't exactly a big wine fan, but he figured it fit the mood better than hard liquor.
As they began to sip their wine, they continued their easy conversation. It only consisted of snippets of what could be considered "small talk" in Arlo's opinion, but he didn't mind. He enjoyed hearing the pieces of Phyllis' world in any way that she was willing to provide them.
"You sure know how to plan a date," Phyllis said, taking another sip from her glass. "I'd say this was worth the wait."
"Thank you," Arlo said. "Though I'm still not keen on how long I waited."
If you wouldn't have waited so long then Rem wouldn't have laid it on so thick yesterday afternoon.
Didn't we decide not to think about this?
"That's alright," Phyllis stated with a shrug. "We're here now and that's all that matters."
Phyllis then reached towards him, placing her hand on top of his as the corners of her mouth lifted ever so slightly.
"Indeed it is," Arlo said. He then looked to the basket once more, slowly placing his wine glass down. "Spaghetti?"
"Please," Phyllis said, taking another sip from her glass. Her hand was then back in her own lap.
The moment fell quiet as Arlo began to put their plates together. The silence made his skin tingle as though he were vibrating from the inside out. He didn't know why he was so keen on trying to think of something to say, but he couldn't help but wrack every inch of his brain.
Perhaps it was time to ask her something deeper… That was the point, wasn't it? To get to know her.
"So how much longer are you planning on studying under Xu's wing?" he finally asked. It was the first topic that popped into his mind, which he immediately decided to take. It seemed like a better option than 'what's your favorite color' or 'what music do you fancy?'
He handed Phyllis her plate, just in time to see her shrug.
"I don't have a timeline really," she told him. "It has been a few years and I've learned a lot, but I'm not sure you can ever say it's enough."
He nodded at her answer, spinning his fork on his plate as he gathered some noodles.
"You seem fully capable of doing more," he told her. "But I understand the notion that we never stop learning."
Phyllis finished her bite before using her napkin to wipe her mouth. "Exactly. I'm actually in the process of learning about acupuncture therapy, which is something I would have never considered until Xu put the idea in my head."
"Acupuncture, huh? Always seemed a little dodgy to me," Arlo admitted.
"I'd have to agree with you a few months ago, but now I have a completely different perspective," Phyllis told him. "You should come in and try it sometime. Or I could even give you a private session at my place."
Arlo registered the familiar sound of Phyllis' voice suddenly dipping, which nearly caused a noodle to catch in his throat. Thankfully, he managed to swallow it before he was led to any choking or hacking.
"I think it's going to take a lot more convincing than that," Arlo laughed, shaking his head.
"Then I'll be sure not to give up that easy," Phyllis continued, her voice returning to it's normal tone.
No issues with swallowing his spaghetti that time.
Silence filled the air once more, but Arlo made sure to bounce back a little faster that time around.
"Do you plan on traveling at all in the future, though?" Arlo asked, setting down his plate. "It might be a great chance to grow your practice with acupuncture. You know, with experiencing how it's done in other cultures."
"Mmm mhmm," Phyllis said, finishing another bite. "I've considered it. I haven't done any traveling since I came here. But that's because of my parents."
"Your parents?" Arlo asked, raising a brow.
"Yeah. not exactly my favorite people," she told him.
Arlo nodded slowly, considering her words. "And why is that - if you don't mind me asking. Feel free to give me the shortened version."
"Oh, I don't mind at all," Phyllis said with a wave of her hand. "It's boring anyway. I was just a young woman feeling sorry for myself because my parents were forcing me into an arranged marriage. So - I left. Right in the middle of the night. I haven't talked to them since."
Wow. Arlo hadn't known that. It seemed like something he should have known or would have been mentioned at one point or another. Or maybe not. Perhaps Phyllis really didn't care much to talk about it.
She didn't even seem bothered as she mentioned it then.
"I'm sorry to hear that," Arlo said, his voice becoming quieter. "I can't imagine having parents turn on you like that and having to leave everything behind."
"It's whatever," Phyllis quickly replied, she waved him off once more as she took a swig from her glass. The second she lowered it from her lips she was already smiling, seeming as though she had moved on from the moment.
And Arlo couldn't help but feel… disappointed. It was odd, but he was nearly baffled at how quickly she had shifted from his conversation. Not because she necessarily seemed as though she didn't want to talk about it, but because she didn't think it mattered.
And that saying what left her mouth next mattered more.
"I'm glad I left. Especially because now I have a handsome Captain with a sexy British accent all to myself."
She reached over then, one of her hands moving through his hair as she smirked.
This all seemed very familiar.
However, he had to admit that he hardly noticed her touch as his mind was slightly distracted by her words.
Handsome… sexy.
Those were the words that she used to describe him...
And how would he describe her?
Intelligent… refined.
There seemed to be a difference in their choice of adjectives.
Pushing a smile onto his lips, Arlo looked down at his glass before taking a sip. They grew quiet once more, but he didn't feel as rushed to fill the silence. Instead he felt himself almost on edge as he waited for her to chime in… to ask him a question.
But seconds continued to tick by and Arlo felt each of them as a thick pluck in his pulse.
"Oh, look over there. The stars look amazing tonight," Phyllis said, pointing towards the Western Beach.
Arlo looked out, following her gaze as he saw the countless lights shining up in the sky. They stretched out farther than his eyes could see, appearing bright and full as the lamps from town didn't skew that piece of the sky.
"Wow," was all Arlo could manage, but it was enough to confirm Phyllis' words. How mad was it that this same scene laid above them each night, but they didn't necessarily always take the time to admire it? It surely made no sense.
Still staring out, he couldn't help but let his eyes begin to drift downward - away from the sky was toward something else. His gaze then landed on another light, positioned on the side of a little home hundreds of yards away.
However, he couldn't see any movement within the property's fence, partly due to the dark and partly due to the trees.
I wonder what she's doing right now.
The sudden, and uninvited, thought had Arlo giving a harsh shake of his head as he tried to rid it completely from his consciousness.
His movement seemed to spark Phyllis' attention as well, as he now felt her eyes on him and soon heard her voice.
"Are you alright?" she asked, the stars now forgotten.
"Yes," Arlo said, perhaps a little too fast. He then cleared his throat, reaching for some self control. "Just a random chill. Not sure what caused it."
That was kind of a version of the truth.
"Maybe you just need some warming up," Phyllis reasoned before she began to scoot closer to him. It took only seconds before she was right to the side of him, leaning her weight over so she was pressing into him.
That hadn't exactly been his plan.
"Better?" she asked, looking up at him.
Before he could think better of it, he was nodding at her. "Better."
As he felt the weight of Phyllis against his side, and even slightly on her chest, Arlo noticed his thoughts begin to wander once more. He felt scattered, papers flying throughout his mind as he was reluctant to look at any of them. Meanwhile, the content blonde next to him seemed to not register his sudden change whatsoever. Her eyes remained on the stars.
Feeling her against him, Arlo's mind suddenly became fixated on one thought… one piece of paper, but he was unable to grab a hold of it before Phyllis was speaking again.
"I can't believe Jo lives in that little shack all by herself," she stated.
Arlo did everything within him not to stiffen underneath Phyllis' weight.
How had this topic managed to occur? And why?
"What do you mean?" he asked, his tone dry.
"She just lives out here all by herself. I know I live alone, but at least I'm in proximity to other people," Phyllis continued. "Plus that shack looks like it's about to fall over."
He rolled out his jaw slightly as he listened, his midsection twitching a little as he tried not to disturb her.
It's not a shack.
"I don't think she minds," he stated.
"I still can't imagine bringing myself to live somewhere like that ," she concluded with a shrug.
Arlo wanted to address her words, but he didn't trust his voice. He was sure if he were to speak that his tone would give away his feelings - and Phyllis didn't need to know that her words had affected him.
He only thought that Phyllis should understand why Jo chose to live there … like that. It was her father's workshop for Christ's sake, and while Phyllis had been determined to escape her parents… Jo had only wanted to grow closer to hers in the only way she could. At least her father.
As the idea played through his head, Arlo nearly kicked himself for his assumptions. Jo had never come right out and said those were her intentions, and Arlo had no right to assume they were.
Okay, but really - why are we even talking about Jo? Thinking about her?
That was the last thing he wanted to talk about. To think about.
Feeling the pressure of Phyllis against his side once more, Arlo realized he hadn't even registered whether she had continued their exchange after he had been lost in his own thoughts. However, he didn't exactly feel like asking her as he only wanted to drop their previous conversation.
So he changed the subject.
"So tell me honestly, what did you think of the spaghetti?"
Grabbing hold of his new topic, Phyllis led the way through their discussion as she praised his cooking skills before she began talking about her other experiences with food. Apparently she was more of a foodie than Arlo had realized, especially when it came to sweet items. Arlo listened intently, keeping himself distracted by her words as she explained how big of a difference peeling chocolate over a dessert rather than grating could make.
However, as the night continued, the air began to shift and the temperature dropped by the minute. It wasn't long before Arlo noticed Phyllis shaking, causing him to quickly stand from the blanket and then proceed to wrap it around her.
"Thank you," she breathed, rubbing her arms to warm herself further.
"Perhaps we should go?" Arlo said, offering her his hand now. "I'd never forgive myself if you caught a cold on our first date."
Phyllis giggled at this and allowed him to pull her up gently. Once she was standing, he turned away and collected the plates, glasses, and lights before placing it all within the picnic basket. Luckily, it wasn't too heavy within the wicker as Arlo braced it in his left hand. His right was instantly met with Phyllis' hand sliding into his once more.
They walked back towards the Central Plaza gate, Arlo silent as Phyllis chose to fill the air between them. Only, she didn't offer any questions or require any info from him. She only spoke of acupuncture again and the wonderful changes it had brought to Sanwa's lifestyle.
But Arlo's head was elsewhere. He couldn't help but replay the evening over and over in his mind - even though it wasn't technically over yet. However, as he continued to focus on various moments, he also couldn't help the nagging thoughts invading him - each one making his body feel as though it were sinking further into the ground.
Without him realizing it, Arlo and Phyllis had reached her front door once more, finding themselves facing one another as it was now time for the night to come to an end. Or so Arlo thought.
As they turned to face one another, he opened his mouth to begin his goodbye, but proper words were never actually formed. Instead, Phyllis' was suddenly putting his mouth to use elsewhere. Specifically, against hers.
Without warning, she had leaned forward, pushing his lips right against his as she also pressed her body towards him. Not expecting her actions, Arlo had stumbled backward a little until he found his back pressed against the side of her building. Yet, still, Phyllis went with him - keeping their mouths interlocked as she brought herself right up against him, pinning him against the wall.
Arlo could taste the wine on her lips - he expected that he likely tasted the same. She danced her tongue along his upper lip, distracting him with the warm sensation as she continued to press her body against his. He could feel her breasts on his chest now, feeling full and plump as she slightly wiggled her body against his. It took him a moment to realize she was partially grinding into him.
How did they get here? It wasn't the first time they had found themselves in this position, but it surely had never happened this fast. Phyllis was wasting no time as she danced her tongue into his or gently tugged her hands into his hair.
Arlo had been so caught off guard that all he could bring himself to do was follow along. To match her mouth's movement as best as he could, though he noticed she was changing her rhythm quite frequently.
Touch her. Put your hand on her waist or something.
Arlo's own advice rang through his head, attempting to motivate his arms to make any sort of movement rather than just sit at his sides. Though he was currently using both to brace himself against the wall, he figured Phyllis would rather they be put to use.
But what would you prefer?
The thought cut through the mess of conversation occurring in his mind, nearly knocking the wind out of him. It was a question he had never really asked himself in this situation, but now it was there. Staring him right in the face.
Isn't this exactly what you wanted to avoid? That was the whole purpose of the talk, the planning, the date.
How did we end up right back here?
As Phyllis continued to move against him, he heard her hum in her throat as she then kissed him deeply. The kind of kiss that he knew should make him dizzy, make him intoxicated - but he found it didn't hit him in the very place she likely wanted.
Instead, it hit him elsewhere. Or rather… it brought him elsewhere.
Back to the Round Table. That Friday night when he had been surrounded by his friends… and sat across one friend in particular.
And then when the others had gone to dance, the two of them had stayed behind - firing back pieces of conversation as they always did.
Until he brought her attention elsewhere, to the friends she couldn't see from her seat so she had to move to the one next to him.
And in the moments following, she had found herself leaning into him. Her head to his chest, her side against his… and his hand had found the small of her back.
When the two had moved apart to look at one another, he felt his lips part as he studied her expression. He felt the warmth over his skin, the clarity in his thoughts as his focus remained on only one thing… one person.
She had managed to take him to that place. Even without touching her lips to his. Even without really trying.
It was… effortless.
Arlo felt himself suddenly jerk his head backward, smacking it into the stone behind him as his lips were released from Phyllis'. He didn't even care about the stinging pain in his head as he only felt a sense of relief rush through him. However, Phyllis didn't seem to notice. Rather she appeared to think the only reason he pulled away from her was to get some air.
Phyllis let out a small sigh herself, sinking her body into him further. How she managed to bring them even closer was beyond him. He thought they were as close as they could get. At least considering their circumstances.
"Arlo…" she breathed, her eyelids fluttering as she raised her gaze from his lips to his own eyes. She then raised her hands to grip the lapels of his jacket, giving them a small tug. "What do you say? Wanna come inside?"
Arlo stared down at the woman before him, aware of the dancing tone in her voice and the reason behind her tongue slowly running over her lips.
He knew he should say yes to her offer, but for the entirely wrong reasons. He had wanted to do it for her sake, not his. He hadn't wanted to let her down.
But if he said yes - he would be letting himself down.
Phyllis gave him another coy smile, her hand lifting to rub a thumb over his cheek.
Say something.
"Phyllis…" he began, his own hand moving to grab hers and slowly pull it away from her face. He paused, trying to find the right words to say. There were so many paths to take and he wasn't sure which one was the best to choose.
It was especially difficult to pick his desired path when his mind kept going back to the moment that played within his thoughts only seconds ago… the moment that had inevitably caused him to pull away from Phyllis. He couldn't bring himself to gloss over it. It was there.
Can't force something to happen while you try and force something else to the side.
Rem's words rang throughout his head. A part of Arlo wanted to blame the man's doubt and lack of support for causing his night to take such an abrupt turn. However, he knew it wasn't true. Rem had gotten underneath his skin, but it wasn't the reason why things had led where they did. The outcome had simply been inevitable.
Finally, Arlo cleared his throat as he chose a path. One that seemed like the easiest to take while the walls in his mind continued to come crashing down.
"I think I'll be a gentleman for now and just say goodnight," he told her as he leaned backward. "But thank you for a wonderful first date, Phyllis."
As his gaze fell on her expression once more, Arlo could see the smile on her lips that didn't quite reach her eyes. He waited for her to call him out or voice anger, but she chose to do neither.
"A man of respect," she replied with a nod. "I guess I should count my blessings."
She gave his lapel one last tug before she released him, finally allowing her smile to touch her eyes as she took a step backward. "Thank you, Arlo. I had a lovely time...Goodnight."
She then brought a hand to her lips, blowing him a kiss before she turned away from him. Within seconds, her door was unlocked and she had slipped inside.
The moment she closed it behind her, Arlo felt his own expression slip as if someone was pulling each of his features downward.
"Goodnight, Phyllis," he whispered.
He stood there, continuing to stare at her door as he felt realization after realization sink into his skin without any effort on his part. They came one by one and quickly nestled into him as if they didn't notice they were causing him any discomfort.
But these thoughts about Phyllis… they were just adding up on their own. They were closing doors that Arlo had been trying to pry open, even despite his better judgment. But the facts were all there now, and there was no avoiding them.
He had thought Phyllis was mentally and emotionally brilliant. In a way that made him want to talk to her about her past, her opinions, her life. And share his own side in regards to those topics - if she had prompted him.
But there was something else… something that was missing.
Because Arlo had managed to get a piece of what he had wanted while also realizing why what he had before hadn't been enough.
He wasn't physically attracted to Phyllis.
When she had touched him, smiled at him, kissed him - he had felt nothing. There was no excitement. No… spark.
He was holding on so tightly to other things that he had hoped could salvage everything, but he had been wrong. Even if he had fixed or gained what they had on their emotional and mental level, it still wouldn't make a difference on their physical attraction.
And while he did admire her both mentally and emotionally, he didn't necessarily think he was attracted to her that way either.
Any way he wanted to look at it - they just weren't compatible.
Arlo's chest was tight as he finally turned from Phyllis' door, his head hanging in defeat. He hardly registered each step he took against the stone pavement as he climbed the hill, the growing distance between him and Phyllis not making him feel any better.
However, for the first time in awhile, he felt the tornado in his mind come to a standstill - like a calm within a storm. His ears felt numb, unable to register any sound as his eyes were blind to his surroundings.
Heavy. All he could feel was heavy.
Finally, he had reached his own home, pushing the door open as his eyes adjusted from the dark streets of Portia to the bright light filling the main room. He paused in the doorway, suddenly unable to bring himself any further. However, that was likely due to the set of eyes pinning him there.
Lifting his head, Arlo met Rem's gaze - noting the perturbed furrow in the man's brow. Rem was sitting in one of the arm chairs, sheets of paperwork laying in his lap and on the armrest. Only, Rem was no longer distracted with the documents, but with his friend.
Arlo's chest continued to rise and fall as they stared at one another. However, he then broke their eye contact, shaking his head as he looked momentarily down to the ground.
"You were right," he stated. "You were right about everything."