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ABC Thought
- A dream that is too beautiful is easily shattered -
Chapter 39
"Are you really Shiomi?!"
Not believing in my own eyes, I question the girl that looks exactly like Shiomi. Staying on high alert and keeping a fair distance from her.
"Uh… Who else would I be?"
Shiomi tilts her head, completely dumbfounded after being asked such a ridiculous question.
"But you…"
My lips stops in half-way. For some reason I'm uncertain of what the context is really about. What am I trying to say? Did something happen to her before?
"Huh? I am what?"
Curious, Shiomi approaches closer and in reflex, I back away. Both of us are confused by my own wary actions.
"Sesshomaru? What's wrong?"
Her scent, figure and personality, the girl sitting before me is definitely Shiomi. But why am questioning myself about this? Why am I doubting her?
"Why am I here?"
Acting as normal as possible, I change the subject. Hoping to gain some information of the current situation I am in.
"What do you mean why?"
Shiomi folds her arms before her chest, pouting. "Yesterday you even declared spending the night here yourself, remember?"
At first I suspect that her words are actually true though soon after, the images of what happened last night start to reappear inside my mind. Vividly.
I remember it now. Yesterday, we…
"Are you okay, Sesshomaru?"
Shiomi reaches out her hand to touch my face and I, mostly out of surprise, flinch at the warm sensation of her skin.
Shocked by my reaction, she quickly withdraws her arm and lowers her gaze. Perhaps thinking that I'm still not used to being touched so casually.
Trying not to make the atmosphere to be more uncomfortable between us, I grab Shiomi's wrist and yank it back. Causing her to yelp in surprise.
"It's… nothing. I am alright."
Gently resting my cheek on that small and fragile palm, I ensure Shiomi as our fingers intertwined.
This scent and softness of her skin… Why does it feel as if I haven't felt them for a long time?
"Your face was awfully pale a while ago though."
It's obvious that Shiomi's still worried but decides to let it pass. "Are you hungry? Want to get something to eat?"
I am quite certain that something is missing, but what exactly?
Slightly nod my head in response, I release her hand and start searching for my clothes, which are mixed up with hers and scattering on the floor not too far away. While Tenseiga is left standing alone against the wall next to my side.
Glancing at her once completely dressed up, I notice Shiomi is remaining at the side of the bed. Despite having finished putting clothes on as well.
"What is it?"
Sensing something different, I ask her. And Shiomi hesitates a little before opening her lips to answer, though it sounds more like a murmur.
"Uhm…My hips…It hurts…"
Her hips? Was it because of the fall earlier? Recalling to the moment she has fallen out of the bed just now. I approach her with a Tenseiga ready in hand. Attempting to help her heal instead of waiting for the regeneration power to work.
"Where does it hurt? Show me."
"W-What?! N-No! It's fine! I'm fine!"
Shiomi face's burning up as red as tomato while telling me to put Tensaiga away. For some reasons she gets even more embarrassed and hides herself deeper into the blanket.
It's all thanks to Shiomis's amusing reaction that I'm able to figure out what is the real cause behind her pain. Sheathing back Tenseiga while watching her getting flustered all over, I can't help but chuckle.
"Shall I carry you then?"
"No need to, I can still walk you know."
Annoyed for being teased, Shiomi huffs and stands up from the bed. Heading straight toward to the bathroom as fast as lightning and closes the door.
"I will be ready in 10 minutes!"
At the kitchen
"This is the first time you actually agree to have a meal here."
Shiomi says, sound quite amazed by this sudden development. "Usually you just watch me finish eating and leave."
"Okay… I wonder what kind of food your stomach can digest…Raw meat or well-cooked? Maybe canned food and soup?"
She mumbles to herself while searching all over some cabinets standing or hanging on the wall. Finally found what is needed, the girl then turns around and lays a round, flat looking container, which has an image of a dog attached to it, onto the table.
"This one looks good!"
Among these unfamiliar words that I cannot comprehend, *Bow-wow* seems to be what this box is called judge by its huge font's size. While still carefully observing the thing on my hand, Shiomi explains to me about its origin excitedly.
"Luckily we still have some to spare since mom accidentally bought a lot of them last week!"
"And who, or what is this served to exactly?"
"It's…Uh…For Mina?" (Mina: Her German Shepherd)
She replies, for some reasons her voice is trailing off.
We stay silent for almost a minute till Shiomi coughs into her hand, taking the box away and puts it back into one of the cabinets on the wall.
"Never mind, I will just cook something…."
15 minutes later.
"Are you really sure that anything is fine?"
Asking me the same question for nth time, Shiomi puts the dishes including of fried fish and egg, miso soup and two bowls of rice onto the tray. Seeing me nod, Shiomi returns to the sink, or so it's called, and start cutting some tomatoes into smaller pieces.
"Alright, a bit more of salad and we're…Ouch!"
All of the sudden she yelps and I hear with the sound of knife free falling onto the table. Catching blood's scent in the air, I rush to Shiomi's side and grab her hand to check.
"It's just a small cut."
She ensures, trying to clean her bloody finger with water.
"Don't worry. It's going to heal soon."
Just as Shiomi says, the cut heals itself soon after. Letting the blood follows the water and getting washed off, she moves her finger around cheerfully as if nothing has happened.
...Drip...Drop...
"There is nothing you can do to save her."
...Drip...Drop...
A mysterious, yet familiar voice is ringing by my ears. Only a short moment passes and I am constantly being hit by waves of sharp pain to the head and start to stumble. Knees going weak, I let go of her hand then crouch onto the floor below, clinging to my head.
What…was that just now?!
Meanwhile at the sky's palace.
Staring at the dark stone in her hands, Sesshomaru's mother let out a deep sigh and startles the little Youkai standing beneath her.
"I-Is something matter, Ma' am?!"
"It seems that I can no longer track down Sesshomaru's presence inside the Meidou."
Unlike Jaken who is easily panic over anything, she keeps her calm demeanor despite knowing her son is in danger.
"If my prediction is right, he must have been caught right into the trap that this world especially leaves for him."
"Hah! This is Sesshomaru-sama we are talking about! There exists no trap that can harm him, even the deadliest one!"
Hands on his waist, the youkai servant speaks of his lord confidently.
"Fufufu…Sesshomaru trained you well, didn't he?"
Hearing so, the mistress smirks in amusement and tells him about the trial that Sesshomaru is facing. In which main oject is to aim at the weakness in one's heart. By bringing out one's most desired thing in order to trick him/her to willingly stay inside the underworld forever.
"O-Offering one's m-most desired…thing?!"
Jaken's face immediately turns pale once hearing about that crucial part, which he hasn't been thinking that the Meidou world would be able to bear such dangerous scheme.
Of course, she regconizes something stirs in him within a heartbeat. "Oh? Did I see you waver just now, little one?"
"W-What?! Y-You must be hallucinated!"
Sweats have long turned cold, Jaken shrieks.
"Hmm… If it's only ultimate power that Sesshomaru's truly yearning for. Then this trial should not be to difficult for him to complete, Should it?"
She chuckles when Jaken once again flinches by her words. Hmph! How predictable.
Getting bored playing around with the little servant, she eventually points out her son's weakness. Much to Jaken's horror.
"There's something else, isn't there? Something is much, much more important…"
"A person, perhaps?"
Not a question but a statement, Sesshomaru's mother sits calmly on her throne and waits for him to react. As Jaken finally accepts his defeat, his head lowers and his voice starting to crack.
"I…He…"
Back to Sesshomaru…
"Sesshomaru! Are you okay?!"
Shiomi immediately helps me stand up. Trying to remain balance on my own two feet, I head toward to the nearby chair and sit down to rest. She quickly follows by putting down the tray of food onto the table and taking a seat opposite to mine.
"Sora…Kyuubi…Do they mean anything to you?"
I blurt out those unrecognized words once they pop out in my head. Somehow believe that they are actually related to her. Or both of us.
"Sora? Who is that?"
Shiomi's head tilts after hearing a strange name, looking at me as if I have gone crazy. "And Kyuubi? What are you talking about?"
So she doesn't know… Was I hallucinating?
Only to get even more confused, I decide to ignore it. For now.
"Come on, let's eat! The food is getting cold!"
Shiomi urges, clapping her hands to pray before picking up chopsticks, starting with the bowl of rice.
Despite sharing this kind of meal with each other for a long time already and yet, it has never bored me once. Even more, I'm willingly to exchange anything for our time to last forever.
Yes… If we can spend time together peacefully just likes this, nothing else will matter.
"But aren't you being too selfish, Sesshomaru?"
.
..
…
It was a beautiful, fresh midsummer day. We were sitting on a tree branch up high, enjoying the cool breeze blew on our cheeks and together watching Rin and Jaken playing with their flower crowns on a colorful flower field that we had recently found.
"And why is that?" Stunned by her statement, I asked. And Shiomi giggled. As if it was an incredibly obvious question.
"Why would you have to throw everything away just for the sake of being with me? Though I'm quite grateful for being loved but isn't it a little too much?"
Before I could say anything to defend myself, she starts bringing up Rin and Jaken. The power I have been fighting so hard for. And more importantly, my own life to prove her point.
"Even if you don't care about yourself at least think about others feeling too, what will Rin and Jaken do if their lord is gone? They need you as much as I do, Sesshomaru."
"Then what about my feeling?"
Caressing her face and brushing away a small leaf gotten stuck on her hair, I asked her. "What will I do if you're gone?"
"I think you will be doing just fine without me." And she assured me with a smile.
I'm not fine, not even a little bit. How can I be when you are not here with me? This frightening emptiness you left behind, is slowly taking what left of my sanity away.
…
..
.
That memory just now…!
Immediately after regaining all my senses, I dart my eyes around the place once more. Only to painfully realize that this reality, is nothing but an illusion.
Being captured by the Meidou magic for acting too reckless and having my own memories wiped clean, replaced with false ones. Getting myself tricked like a fool, both emotionally and physically.
After all… This is just too good to be true.
"Shiomi."
Hearing my call, she looks up.
"Let's take a walk."
At the garden.
"Why do you want be here all of the sudden?"
Curious, Shiomi asks once we take a seat onto the wooden bench inside her garden. Watching blue flowers swinging by the wind flows, I don't answer and tells her to stay.
"Let's stay here for a while."
"You know, you're acting kind of weird today."
Giving up eventually, she rests her head on my shoulder and enjoy the sight of her favorite flower, pleasant aroma, the deep blue sky and white clouds.
Our peaceful moment doesn't last long, however.
"Sesshomaru,"
Suddenly hearing mother's voice echoing in my mind, I immediately get up from my seat. Haha-ue?!
"Sesshomaru, this is the only method your mother can do to help. But my time is limited so listen well,"
Not waiting for my response, she adds. "No matter how precious that thing is to you. You have to let it go or you shall never be able to leave."
Release her and everything will return to normal, back to how things should be.
I already knew that none of these are real but, why am I still lingering in this place?
Shiomi gets worried when seeing my hands are trembling.
"What's wrong? Are you tired?"
Suddenly everything surrounding us turns black and Shiomi gasps in shock. The flowers that she adores, the ground, wooden bench and table are disappearing.
Was it because that I feared? I feared that this encounter would be our last. Because this perhaps would be the last chance for me to see her, talking with her and be by her side.
"N-No!"
Shiomi cries when her hands are vanishing. Helpless, she calls out to me for help. "Sesshomaru!"
That's right. I haven't left not because I can't, but because I don't want to.
"Please, Sesshomaru…"
Having her energy completely drained, Shiomi drops down onto her knees.
"…Don't go! Don't leave me here alone!"
Yet I can't stay, not because I don't miss her, but because there are still many things out there I cannot give up on. They are waiting for my return.
Kneeling before Shiomi, I gently wipe the tears off her face but cannot make out a word of comfort. It's breaking my heart to see her suffering like this.
The space surrounds us then fragmented and Shiomi's starting to fade away. Swiftly I reach out my hand to hold her tight, praying that this desperate act of mine will somehow keep her from disappearing.
It's impossible, however. Shiomi's fragile body keeps on slipping, further and further away from my embrace. Just like sand trickling through my fingertips.
"Shiomi, I'm sorry."
Before Shiomi completely vanishes into the void, I whisper into her ears those last words that I have been burying deep down inside. And ever since when tears have started falling, everything now standing in front of my eyes is nothing but a blur.
Even if you're just an illusion, I still want you to know that. "I love you."