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ABC Thought.
Author's note: Should I continue this fanfic up to Yashahime series? Please let me know what you think. (^_^)
Chapter 54
Seeing that giant beast is only a few feet away, I turn more panic than ever.
Should I run away? Or stay to confront it?
And as crazy as this may sound, I actually recognize those facial markings. Especially that purple colored crescent moon on its forehead, it's just too distinct to forget.
Please, let this really be Sesshomaru!
Once done praying for good fortune. I step out of my hideout and activate my youkai's energy, just in case that this thing is not who we think it is. Upon seeing the change in my eyes however, it gets more aggressive.
"It's okay. I'm not your enemy."
Quickly I say to ease the beast while attempt to approach it. Only to have my mind changed once seeing drool's leaking from its mouth and falling onto the ground, melting anything that comes into contact.
Dude, what the hell. How am I suppose to get close if you do that?!
Watching those grasses, bugs and rocks turning into mist-like gas within a blink of an eye, my legs turn frozen. Asking myself what I have done to deserve these bullshits.
Actually, just a week ago I did try to leave him to stay with my family. Guess you can say that this is my punishment...
"Sesshomaru? I'm not sure if this is too much to ask but can you return to normal so we can talk this out?"
Holding back the urge to scream, I offer us a better solution to deal with our drama since I can't understand anything from his constant growling and glaring. Not to mention that his Daiyoukai form is scaring the heck out of me right now.
Yet Sesshomaru-assumed-to-be doesn't listen and remains giant, though I notice the growling has stopped while the staring is still there, perhaps even more intense. As if he's studying my reactions.
Fine, here goes nothing.
After taking a deep breath to clear up my mind, I speak up. Releasing all the feelings I have been burying inside.
"Sesshomaru... For the last three years, I have been thinking a lot about us. About everything."
Back then, I wanted to forget. But I couldn't.
"Anything I do would always remind me of you."
How badly I wanted to see you. But I couldn't.
"If only I could become the wind and flew to your side."
To tell you that I loved you, over and over again. But I couldn't.
"So I kept on waiting. Even if it was impossible."
Desperately I had tried to move on, multiple times, yet afraid that one day you would forget me.
"These feelings, they torment me year after year. It hurts."
The tears won't stop falling. My vision is nothing but a blur. But none of those matters and I keep on talking, until I feel a familiar touch on my face and begin to sob louder.
"You're always be there for me. Yet I only act and think for myself. I'm just too selfish."
Firmly I hold on to this hand, asking for forgiveness.
"From now on, please let me make it up to you. Allow me to keep our promises."
Then another hand appears to wipe the tears off the corner of my eyes.
"Can I hug you?"
Not going to wait for Sesshomaru to answer, I extend my arms and hold him anyway. Can't help but smiling when feeling him returning my embrace. Warm and gentle, just as how I've always dreamed it to be.
"I'm here now, so please don't forget me."
Inside Kaede's hut.
"What?! You two are living together?!"
Shortly after our reunion, I want to see Kagome and Rin so Sesshomaru has taken me here to visit them. And now everyone except for Miroku and Inuyasha, who have gone out to work since morning, is gathering up at Kaede's hut to talk about various stuff that I've been missing out. (Since it's too crowded, Jaken and Sesshomaru decide to wait outside.)
Therefore Kagome nods to confirm that her marriage is real. While the others are surprised to see me overreacting over such everyday matter.
"Well... Isn't it too early for that? I mean... aren't you only eighteen?"
And I explain my reason. However Sango's quick to dismiss it.
"What do you mean too early? At that age I already have three kids."
Make sense for her to think it that way, since women in this era marry and have children early. But not for me! I still have too many things to do and experience!
"I'm sure there is no need to rush things. Let's wait until you get comfortable around here first."
Kagome suggests to take it easy and I nod, cannot agree more. Then she and Sango promise to lend me their help whenever I'm in trouble, with anything ranging from common to personal topics.
"Where are you going to live from now on?"
Sitting right beside me, Rin asks whether I have picked a place to stay. And judging from the eager look on her face, I figure that she wants me to live here with her.
"In this village, of course!"
Therefore I claim, like it's the most obvious thing ever despite haven't discussed a single thing with Sesshomaru. Being confident that I can just persuade him later and he's probably not someone who is difficult on this kind of thing.
...
..
After spending like half an hour straight talking to Sesshomaru, I step back inside.
"Sesshomaru refused, didn't he?"
Noticed my dispirited face, Kagome figured that things didn't go too well. Also because she overheard our argument as I spoke quite loud to prove my point, all of which was thrown out of the window ruthlessly, of course.
"Apparently if he doesn't want to stay, I can't stay as well."
Standing by my side, Rin's seen to be as upset as I am. But her lord's word is absolute and there's nothing she can do to change it. Even Rin's pleads failed to work. It was just that bad.
"After all the things you two have been through. I suppose it's reasonable for him to want to keep you by his side."
Kagome tries to cheer me up and I sigh.
"Also he said that we already had a place to stay. And I could come here to visit you guys whenever I wanted to."
Before I knew, my new home had already been decided and I had to move in with him. All within today.
"Do you know where that is?"
Hearing her ask, I shake my head in response. "Let's just hope that it's not too far away from here."
Later on...
Sesshomaru carries us to the top of a hill and from here, I can see the whole view of Kaede's village. Not going to wait for me to ask, he points at a house located by itself not too far away from where we're standing.
Thanks god! It's way closer than I've expected!
Even with my lame speed, I can reach to Kagome's place in twenty or thirty minutes. By foot no less.
"Wow! Onee-chan and Sesshomaru-sama are going to live here?"
Rin's awed by the sight when we approach.
It's a traditional Japanese house, which is at least twice as big as the ones I've seen at Kaede's village, build out of woods and a tile roof. There are several rooms inside, the furniture is quite dusty and somewhat old. A few damaged doors and windows, yet the wooden floor's miraculously still intact. Spider webs and bugs in various size can be seen in every corner.
"Look, you can bath inside too!"
Rin calls me and slides the door open, revealing the bathroom to us.
"Since when did you get such a place?"
Surprised to receive a nice house out of nowhere, I ask them how they've got it and hear Sesshomaru's voice by the door.
"Just now."
He acts so nonchalant that I find it hardly to be a lie. Wait, what?
"You didn't rob this house from someone else, did you?"
Feeling insulted by my question, Jaken yells and stomps his feet.
"We did not!"
Therefore Jaken proceeds explaining to us that this house was abandoned long ago and became a nest of some small youkai, so they eliminated those and took it for themselves.
What's the difference? I stare at those two in disbelief.
That was not all. Turned out Sesshomaru had picked this house in the first place was mostly out of convenient, as it was close to Kaede's village. Plus being the only house available on this hill, it also capable of securing his privacy.
And it's not until both I and Rin were here to check around that he got to see what the inside of it actually looked like.
"Stay here and don't cause any more trouble. You hear?"
Seeing that I've gotten used to my new place, Jaken tells me to behave before leaving with Sesshomaru to take care of his unfinished business. Though just as he's about to walk away, I snatch his collar and drag him back.
"Actually, I'm going to need your help as well to clean the whole place up."
Cannot believe in what he just has heard, Jaken stares at me with his eyes wide open. And before he can start nagging or refusing me in any way, Sesshomaru allows it and Jaken has no choice but to give in.
"Alright, let's get started!"
Once Sesshomaru's gone out of sight, I announce and hand Jaken an old broom to deal with the spider webs on the wall. While I use a hataki to remove the dust so that Rin can sweep them off the house. (Hataki: Similar to feather duster)
"Don't be too fed up and burns down the house, okay?"
I remind him to keep his cool and Jaken yells again, almost throwing his broom at me out of anger.
"You shut up!"
When step one is done, I prepare the some towels and other tools to scrub the floor and bathroom, with Rin's already ready with a bucket full of water in her hands. And Jaken's tasked to polish the furniture.
After that is to wash the futon. However we find them being badly damaged after taking out of the closet and have no choice but to throw it all away.
Guess I'm going to sleep on the floor tonight...
Getting tired and hungry, we decide to tidy our mess before calling it a day. By the time everything is done, it's already dark outside. So I suggest Jaken to take Rin home since it will be dangerous for her to go alone.
"Are you sure that you don't want to stay with me?"
I ask her once more, hoping that she will change her mind.
"It's okay, your house isn't that far away. We can visit each other anytime."
Then I suggest coming along with her and Jaken to her house, however Rin refuses that as well and tells me to stay at home waiting for Sesshomaru instead.
"Sesshomaru-sama will get angry if you aren't here when he returns."
She confirms it with a smile, and I have no choice but to give in.
Since there's still a few things left to be done, as in the kitchen, broken windows and doors. Rin offers to bring some help with her for the next visit. Therefore I agree.
"See you tomorrow! Take care!"
Rin waves to me before heading down the hill with Jaken by her side.
Too tired to even eat or bath, I lie on the wooden floor to relax my muscles. Staring at the night sky through the window on the wall, I let out a sigh when Sesshomaru's still nowhere in sight.
Earlier, he didn't even say anything about coming home and just left on his own.
Seriously, if Sesshomaru's barely at home like this then why bother making me live here instead of Kaede's village, together with the others? I just don't understand him sometimes.
Then it hits me. I can visit anyone whenever I want, right? So why not now?
With that great idea in mind, I get up on my feet and rush to the main door. However the moment I open it to step outside, someone's already stood there guarding my way.
"Se-Sesshomaru?"
His unexpected presence causes me to almost bite my tongue off. "Welcome... home?"
Like a way of greeting(?) Sesshomaru glances at me before walking in. Therefore I close the door behind me and follow him inside, silently giving up on my plan to stay the night at Kaede's hut.
"To be honest, I didn't expect you to return this early."
I take a seat beside him near the burning irori fireplace, which is in the middle of our living room. It's only then I notice Sesshomaru's carrying an item wrapped inside a piece of cloth in his hand.
And before I can ask what that is, he gives it to me.
"Oh, is this my gift? Thank you!"
Unwrapping it, I find several piece of fabrics and cosmetics laying neatly inside. While I'm still fascinating about what kind of clothes that can be made out of these beautiful fabrics, Sesshomaru speaks up.
"Going somewhere?"
He mentions what happened earlier. Therefore I nod.
"It's lonely staying at home all day waiting for you to be back. I need to go out sometimes too."
More like a lot of time, if I want to get used to the life around here as soon as possible. Plus, living mostly alone in the middle of nowhere with having nothing to do but housework is boring as heck.
"In the middle of the night?"
"Well... you did say that I could go anywhere in anytime so..."
My voice gradually weakens before we both fall into silence.
To clear up our awkward atmosphere, I ask how his day has gone. Then our topic jumps from one to another, mostly revolving around his daily life and mine during the time we're apart, before ending up at his left arm.
"So, uhm... How did your arm regrow?"
Due to many things happened earlier, I completely forgot to ask him about it. Therefore Sesshomaru tells me briefly about the birth of Tessaiga, which along with his left arm, were created from his own body during his fight against an evil youkai called Magatsuhi. It's also this very sword that he used to end Sora's life, once and for all.
Even Sora's ridiculous regeneration ability can't stand against Bakusaiga? Interesting.
However when I ask him about what Sora has done during the time she took over my body, Sesshomaru states that there's nothing too significant and asks me to leave it in the past.
I suppose it's better to forget bad memories and move on...
Since it's already late, I decide to head off to bed first.
"Good night."
Before leaving, I give Sesshomaru a peck on the cheek. Although our parting doesn't seem to last long as by the time reaching to the hallway, I hear his light footsteps from behind.
Maybe he's going to his room to get some rest as well.
That's what I thought until I arrive to my room and still having Sesshomaru standing right behind my back. Feeling something isn't right, I stand by the door to block him from going inside.
"Hold on, are you actually thinking of following me in?"
And he looks at me like I'm asking the most obvious thing ever.
"No way! I-It's too early for that! If you want to sleep then go to that room over there!"
Shocked by his mindset, I appoint Sesshomaru to another room, which is just on the opposite side of mine, to stay for the time being and yet he doesn't even bat an eye.
That's it! I'm not going to back down, not this time!
As I attempt to close the door in his face however, Sesshomaru, as if having read my thinking, stops me by putting his hands on it as well to keep my room open.
And just like that we both engage in the most ridiculous tug of war ever, until I eventually get tired and give up.
Damn it, even with youkai's energy activated. I still can't stand against him!
At the result of our *intense battle*, I fall onto the floor panting heavily. Once seeing Sesshomaru attempts to pass by, I stand up to stop him again. No! I can't give up! Not just yet!
"Wait, we need to talk!"
As my last resort, I suggest us having a serious discussion. Except it soon turns out that I'm the only one doing all the talking and explaining while Sesshomaru just standing there and listens. Though he gives up half way through and barges his way in. Like an act of declaring that this is his house, so we follow his rule.
I swear he's getting less sympathetic by the day!
Now both Sesshomaru and I are sitting the middle of the room, staring at the closed door before us. It's so awkward that I don't even know what to say or act.
Screw it, I'm just going to sleep.
No point in wrecking my brain any further, I lie down on the floor beside him and hug his Mokomoko to stay warm. Since there's no futon or blanket around.
Notice that Sesshomaru's somehow still heavily armed, I ask.
"Are you going to sleep in your armor?"
Only to earn another look from him as if I've just asked a dumb question. Or maybe this time he's surprised, I can't figure out what this guy is thinking anymore...
"Even at home? Don't you feel uncomfortable at all?"
Therefore I tell Sesshomaru to loosen up a bit, simply because there are only two of us here and I highly doubt that any living thing within this area will dare to touch him.
"It's not like I'm not going to jump at you or anything."
Hearing so, Sesshomaru replies with a smug face. It's the same expression he uses to taunt his opponents.
"We'll never know."
That answer causes me dumbfounded for a moment, until I finally realize what he's implying behind those words and blush uncontrollably.
"I'm talking about Sora, okay?!"
I turn away from him, pretending to be sulking by his weird joke. Then a few minutes pass and suddenly, I feel Sesshomaru's slender hand patting my head from behind. Even though it's not the first time he's being sweet and gentle when we're together like this, I still can't help but chuckle.
While enjoying that nice feeling however, my eyelids slowly become heavy and before I know, I've fallen into deep sleep.
Next morning.
The moment I wake up, that warmth next to me is gone and so is Sesshomaru. Looking out of the window, I notice that the sun has already gotten high up.
It's almost noon! Have I been sleeping that long?
Soon after washing my face and brushing my teeth briefly, I hear several knocking on the front door. Along with Rin's and Kagome's voice coming out behind it.
"Onee-chan! Nee-san! Are you awake?"
I rush over to open the door for them. And what a surprise, our grumpy Inuyasha is here as well. Carrying a bunch of wooden boards in one arm and a big futon in another.
"Nee-san, we heard that you needed some help!"
A cheerful Kagome greets me.
"Nee-san?"
Realized that I've been addressed by a new status, I ask her.
"Now that you are married to Sesshomaru. Wouldn't that make us in-laws?"
Turns out Kagome has expected me to become Sesshomaru's wife since yesterday, and I almost choke on my breath out of shock. While Rin's standing beside us, looking somewhat dumbfounded.
"W-We are not married! Not just yet!"
Quickly I clear up the misunderstanding.
"Really? I just thought that because you two were living together so..."
Kagome stares at me, half in disbelief and half to be anticipating something, which I definitely do not want to know.
"Nothing happened, okay!"
I state loud and clear, feeling my face burning in embarrassment.
Seriously even now, I still have no idea what Sesshomaru likes or dislike. What his favorite food would be or what his hobbies be like, if he actually has one. And here we are talking about marriage. It's way too soon for that.
Not only because our relationship still has a lot of room to grow, it's also because I'm not in any way ready to become a housewife and especially, a mother.
Won't our kids turn out to be half-youkai, just like Inuyasha?! How am I suppose to raise them properly? Do they require some kind of special needs to grow up?!
"Beside, we haven't discussed anything about that yet."
And I highly doubt that Sesshomaru even cares about these stuff.
"Don't worry. I'm sure everything will be okay."
Kagome pats my shoulder and tells me to relax. As she notices that I'm suffering from anxiety and getting dispirited again. Not wanting to cause any more trouble to Kagome, I try to calm down and ease up my mind. Letting out a breath that I didn't know I was holding in.
"Hey, Kagome! What am I going to do with these things?"
Suddenly we hear Inuyasha's calling from inside and Kagome smiles. Offering her hand to me.
"Shall we go? Let's talk more after we finish patching up your house."