SHATTERED HOPES
Three months later...
Quill curved on the parchment, as words spilled from her heart. A letter to Ned, enquiring about his health, and conveying that the courser that he loved the most, had bid its time on earth. The steady old steed was Ned's own horse, which he had to leave in Winterfell, when its strength had started failing for longer rides. Ned had a fondness to that chestnut horse, ever since a child and so, she arranged it to be buried in the lich yard. Without her brother in Winterfell, the castle was even more empty.
How fast the time has moved?
Allara giggled when DarkWing entwined around her leg, and she stroke the dark silky fur, beneath her wolf's neck, giving it love. DarkWing had grown magnificent now, in both height and weight, scaring all the maids in the castle but to Allara, she was the same little pup found in the woods. Men screamed in terror when DarkWing barred her teeth, but Allara had trained her wolf to never harm anyone. Still even her family had not warmed up to her direwolf.
DarkWing placed her head on Allara's lap in an affection that warmed her heart to fullness. How could anyone hate this sweet girl?
Initially, her father was astounded to see a direwolf south of the wall and considered it to be a blessing from the Old Gods. But when he tried to get close with DarkWing, her wolf snapped at him. Not only to him, DarkWing was not welcoming anyone except Allara and for the first time, she felt someone belonging to her... only to her. Lya could have her horse and Brandon could have his sword, but Allara had a direwolf — the sigil of her house.
Slowly, Lord Rickard Stark started showing his displeasure at her direwolf, just simply because she was getting close only with Allara. And once her father had warned, "A wolf is no hound, Allara. And what you bought is a direwolf. These beasts belong in the wild. If you let it stay here, a day will come, when it will get a taste of your blood. So, let it go..."
With a heavy heart, and eyes full of tears, Allara had tried to let her direwolf go to the wild. But never once, her sweet friend moved an inch away from her. Even Brandon couldn't sway it away. Finally, her brother convinced their father to allow DarkWing stay, under one condition that her wolf would never be cared by the kennel master and the moment it hurt any men, her father promised to slit DarkWing's throat. Her she-wolf was proud enough to hunt its prey in the woods than to go for the likes of human.
"I should write about how much you have grown up, to Eddard. He will be surprised." Allara said staring at her wolf, who was trying to understand her words. "You were so tiny, compared to what you have become now, when Jaime and I shot you." She commented and DarkWing whined, as though she could feel the pain even now. Suddenly, all memories of Jaime flooded Allara's heart, and a mixed feeling of sadness and happiness creeped inside. When the gold ring shone on her finger, flashes of Jaime's golden hair crossed her eyes. "It has been more than a year, DarkWing. I wonder where Jaime is, now... Does he think about me as much I do?"
Her eyes landed on the quill and parchment, that was laid on the table before and Allara wanted to write to Jaime. She wanted enquire if he was doing fine in his life, as a squire. She yearned for one missive from him, in which she expected nothing more than two words. 'Missing you' — These words were enough to convey her that he still thought about her. But when was the last time any of her wishes came true?
Even if Allara wrote a letter now, she didn't know where she should send it. To Crakehall? To Casterly Rock? To King's Landing? Without knowing his whereabouts, Allara chose to rely on his promise of sending a missive, once he earned his knight ship and confirmed the betrothal with his father. Last time, when she enquired with the Maester, he said, "Bid your time, my lady. Betrothals will take time, to get confirmed. Don't worry... your father has been sending missives to the Hand."
"Come... Let us join the breakfast." Allara tried to push away all her worries and went to the Great Hall to join their siblings.
"Bloody Hell!" Brandon shrieked when DarkWing's furs brushed him. "That thing has grown more than half a horse. What does it even eat?"
"It hunts at night and brings some ugly thing to Aly's chamber." Lyanna interrupted as Allara took her seat by the table.
"Stop addressing her, as a thing. DarkWing knows you both are speaking about her and she is not liking your tone." Allara scolded and only then her direwolf became relaxed. "And she doesn't bring ugly things, Lya. She feels a need to share her hunt with me. We are close..."
"Ew..." Lya shrugged. "You have become a wildling, speaking about a direwolf like your family. Nan says some wildling women like you, lie with beasts at night and give birth to monster babies." Lya teased, while holding her stomach to laugh aloud.
Allara simply rolled her eyes, instead of answering to Lya's insipid japes and taunting laughs. But they were all surprised to see an unwelcomed guest join the breakfast, as her father pulled a chair next to Allara. Immediately, Lya's laughter died down and the servants started giving attention to Lord Stark.
"What is it about the wildlings you were speaking about?" Lord Rickard questioned staring at her sister.
Lya instantly defended, "I was merely mentioning an old tale that Nan shared with me, about how wildlings mate-"
"Connect- She was telling a tale about how some animals connect to their companions, beyond the wall." Allara interfered before Lya completed the uncivilized word, of speaking about mating of animals and human, in front of their father. But Lord Rickard's was impatient as he let out a insulting laugh.
"Don't listen to those ludicrous tales told by your wet nurse. These things don't connect. Animals are just animals." Her father mocked, staring at DarkWing with a frown on his face, as though her direwolf was some stupid creature, addressing it as a 'thing'. Allara felt an urge to break the plate that was laid before her when Lord Stark's eyes judged everything surrounding her and her wolf. "Aye... They are loyal... to an extent. But you can't control such a monstrous creature. When it sniffs blood, it will feed on it, even if you are its master. Farlen, our kennel master, will tell you the same. Your sister will learn her lesson when she gets mauled by this ugly thing."
"DarkWing is not a hound." Allara screamed with clenched teeth, as she twirled the spoon inside the hot-soup, staring aimlessly at the table.
"Pardon me, young lady... What did you say?" Her father's scrutinizing eyes pierced into her very being but she wouldn't cower when her wolf was being insulted.
"DarkWing is not a hound, father and I am not her master. She is a direwolf and my companion. She will never drink my blood or maul me, for that matter." Allara responded in a tone that she had never used before. For a complete minute, the whole Hall stilled bearing her lord father's glares, until Brandon disturbed the silence.
"Aly... Come with me." Brandon nudged her elbow but her father rose from his chair.
"Wait..." He stopped Brandon, while his own dark gray eyes never left hers. "Do you think this thing you bought from the woods, will never feed on your blood? Do you know what dire-wolves are capable of?" His questions were sharp as a slap and he was doing it all because she raised her voice against him for the first time and it had nothing to do with her direwolf. "Have you ever known wilderness, in your life?" His gritty voice sent echoes in the Hall, but she didn't cower. Not now...
Her father's hand went to the hilt of the dagger that had been placed by his leather belt, and he approached DarkWing. She rushed to her wolf's side, when she realized what he was about to do. DarkWing stood on its four legs, sensing her tension and its ear straightened up getting alert, but Lya held Allara's arms tightly, not letting her to move. "No... Don't you dare!" Allara howled in anguish as her heart pounded against the ribs of her chest, in fear. But when her father gave no attention she cried, becoming the same weak person as before. "Please, Father..."
Her father's eyes measured her face a moment, before the blade slashed his left palm, and blood drops started kissing the floor like rain drops. Allara couldn't make sense out of what he was doing. Only when DarkWing sniffed the blood that was falling on the floor, and moved to lick it, Allara saw through him.
"You said it will never taste human blood. All it requires is a few drops, to shift its loyalty." He tormented her with words when DarkWing begun to ignore the blood on the floor, and lap on her father's palm, that was oozing with fresh blood from the new wound. "Tell me, Allara. Will it eat up my hand or not?"
Allara shrugged Lyanna's hand and shifted to her direwolf's side. Was he even a human to ask this question?
"If your answer is 'no', and yet if your direwolf mauls my hand, then I will put that wolf to grave. I will have a hand lost but what better lesson to teach my daughter? But if your answer is yes, then there is no point in bringing up an animal, that you know one day will catch your throat." Her father's dark gray eyes had no emotion attached to his words.
"She is good. I will train her to never..." Allara cried knowing either way her father was going to kill her wolf. When Allara's fingers brushed her wolf's mane, DarkWing turned to nuzzle into her skirt, with love. "Please, father... I beg you. Don't kill her." She cried sobbing, while patting her wolf's head.
"Then you will get that thing removed from this castle, by yourself. I don't care if you will put it to your blade or send it to the wild. I will not see it from the morrow." Her father's voice was flat and even, with no hint of feelings laced in it. Her muscles tensed in pain, of being forced into submission. All she wanted was to keep the wolf to herself. Had she ever asked of him, anything, in all those years? Didn't she obey him and follow all his orders, without a question asked? Didn't she take care of him, like her mother would have done? And what did he give in return? An order to send her wolf away into the wilderness. That sweet little friend, who would curl up on her leg at night, giving warmth to her heart and soul. Her blood boiled for being always in his mercy.
When he was about to leave, in a bitter voice, she screamed. "Why do you hate me?" When she was sure her father stopped on his tracks turning to meet her, she yelled. "What have I ever done wrong, for you to despise me to this extent?"
"I am going to warn you, Allara, one last time. Don't you use that tone on me..." Lord Rickard shrilled. "Leave it here." His monotonic voice shredded her skin.
"No... I won't! I need an answer. I am done being invisible to you, even after doing everything for you and this family." She approached her father, without cowering. "Let me have my wolf. What difference will it make for anyone?" She stated with her head held high.
"Do I need to spell everything to you?" Her father shouted from the top of his lungs, and clenched her arms, with his bleeding hand. "For Gods' sake... First, learn your place as a woman." He bristled with dark eyes.
"Enough, Father... Let her go. It is my responsibility to send the wolf away." Brandon managed to calm the situation but her heart was bleeding.
"And what place have you kept me as your daughter? A servant?... How does any of this matter to me having a wolf? How does any of this matter at all?" Her voice sharp as a knife cut through everyone.
"Have you ever seen any woman carry their house arms? What rights do you have to carry the direwolf of the Starks?" And with those last few words, her father destroyed the beautiful castle, that she had built over years, in her head, about him. "You will marry a lord one day and your children will carry your husband's arms. You can have my name but my sigil or its animal doesn't belong to you."
"What a vile man you are!" She spat back, in disgust. "I did everything for this family... for you... more than Brandon and Ned could even dream of. I stood hours by your side, assisting you in all trivial thing. And I don't deserve to carry the arms?" She seethed with anger simmering in the pool of her eyes and her father's hand clenched tight around her.
"Do you want to test my patience? You will not bear to see my wrath." Her father raised a finger and in anger while his fingers even more curled, and she flinched for the pain it caused.
It happened within the flash of her eyelids shuttering and opening. Her father, who was gigantic even more than Brandon, strongly muscled to fight with even giants was thrown to the floor, with her direwolf standing on the flat of his stomach, snarling at him, with barred teeth.
"No... No... No..." She leapt to pull DarkWing from him, while Brandon helped Lord Rickard on his feet. Her father apprehended everything taking his time and when she knew what he was about to do, she felt defeated and fell on her knees. "I will take whatever the punishment, you wish to give. Please, Father... I beg you not to kill her. I beg you... Please... I will take it..."
Brandon lifted her from floor by grabbing her shoulder with a tight fist and guided her towards the Great Keep when she knew everything was doomed.
"What were you thinking when you raised your voice in front of all staff and guards?" Brandon criticized.
"How different was it from what you have always done?" She questioned shrugging his arm away for not deserving any of this punishment for a crime that she never committed.
"You will find the difference when Father decides what to do with all of this." Her brother informed shoving her into the chamber and latching the door behind. DarkWing curled beneath her foot.
"I will not let you die... I promise." She whispered, curling her fingers into the wolf's fur, when light sparkled on the golden ring. Never she thought that the prospect of leaving Winterfell might excite, but at that moment, she desired for Jaime to come and take her away. One missive, Jaime... Send me one missive.
6 moons later...
Jeyne snored so loud, shaking the bed that Cersei thought better to strangle the fat girl, instead of sharing a bed with her. Her father, Tywin Lannister, thought it would be better to bring the fat Farman girl and the Septa Saranella, as Cersei's own companion to the King's Landing. But she would be far better than to be with the likes of those lower than her for she knew one day she would become a Queen and being with fat Jeyne was not good for her status.
"Wake up..." Cersei pushed fat Jeyne and that little one yawned, opening her almost closed eyes.
"What time it it? Has the sun risen up, already?" Jeyne pondered.
"You insipid little creature... Give me those dresses that I ordered you to bring." Cersei hissed walking towards the reflection glass to adjust her golden locks. Wearing clothes of lesser women was an insult to her status, but she had to meet Jaime now and convince him. The same way she had convinced the King himself to allow her brother to join the Kingsguard.
Had she learned the skills of how to pleasure a man and get things done, long before, she would have seduced to get Rhaegar into her bed, when he had visited Lannisport, for Prince Viserys name day. How different would he be from his father, the Mad King, Aerys Targaryen? The King had taken a liking for Cersei, ever since she worked on his cock, the same way that Dornish whore of a Princess had her way, to make her daughter marry Rhaegar.
When Cersei learned the news that Rhaegar wouldn't marry her, but instead that flat-chested Dornish whore, she knew something was amiss. And she had confirmed the truth of it, when she sneaked up to King's own solar, at night, disguising as a servant-girl to find, Princess Loreza fondling the King making him peak pleasure, while seductively asking for her brother, Prince Lewyn Martell to be added into the Kingsguard.
Cersei had to admit that she couldn't make that stinking King to make such loud groans and noises, as that crazy-old whore, because of his dirty appearance. But, if she closed her eyes a little, even that Mad-King had a hint of Rhaegar in him and that was satisfying enough for her to please the King. The only thing that weirded her was when he screamed 'Joanna... Joanna...' every time he came on her hand.
Either way, the Scab King reluctantly agreed to allow Jaime join the Kingsguard and now, all she had to do was to make her brother agree. Her brother was a fool. But her own fool and he would fall for mere sway of words. That way, when her father, puts an end to that flat-chested Dornish whore and her new-born ugly daughter, she would marry Rhaegar and give him beautiful, silver-gold haired children. And also have her handsome brother, Jaime, by her side. She could have everything she desired. And if anyone crossed her way, Cersei would put them in their place, just like how she had put Melara Heatherspoon into the well, when that whore said, "I want to marry, Jaime...", gushing like a pretty maid. Cersei still heard her friend's cry for help when she had left her to die.
Who wouldn't want me?
Once she wore the servant's cloth, she left her chamber asking fat Farman to cover up for her. She learned Jaime had became a knight, not a fortnight before, while fighting against the Kingswood brotherhood and she had also learned more destructing news of the arrangements that was made for his betrothal, with a northern savage girl. She had to put an end to it, by making this all work faster.
Her golden-haired, handsome brother, was standing outside of Lord Sumner's chamber taking his watch, as she approached. Cersei had great admiration to her brother, because he represented everything she ever wanted to be. Her beauty could only be matched when she stood next to Jaime and even better if it was Rhaegar. Even though, it had been years before they both had their pleasure by touching and tasting each other, she still craved for Jaime.
"Jaime..." She called, and he blinked at her, unable to recognize who was beneath that cloak.
His eyes went wide and a smile of happiness, glowed on his skin, as he reached out his hand for her. "Cersei... I didn't-" He panicked giving her a hug, and she dwelled in that embrace. "What is this dress, you're wearing? And why have you come at this hour?" He asked parting from her.
"I wanted to see you, before all that ceremony that will happen tomorrow." She whispered and guided his hand towards an empty storage chamber next to Lord Sumner's.
"It has been so long, Cersei, since we met and I have terribly, missed you. Why did Father bring you to King's Landing?" Jaime asked in his longing voice.
She couldn't tell the truth that, it was to get her married to the Prince once Elia would be taken care of, by their father. That would make Jaime get distanced from her and she wanted Jaime as much as she wanted the Prince. "Because, I was miserable without you, in the Rock and so Father agreed to keep me by his side, here in King's Landing." Cersei lowered her hood and sat on the floor, feeling disgusted. There was not even a carpet in that dirty place which didn't suit her standard but there would be no place to go, if not for this, so she preferred sitting down.
She expected Jaime to describe how much he had missed her too and shower kisses of love to compensate for all those years but he smiled distantly imagining about something that she had no idea of.
"What is it, sweet brother? Are you blushing in longing for me, even when I am sitting so close to you?"
Jaime wrapped his arm around her shoulder and shook his head. "No..." He replied in a soft tone. "I was thinking about someone that I miss too." Cersei was his twin, and she could instantly feel in her guts, that it was about a girl. She managed to brush his fingers, in feather-light touches while turning her head to another side in an attempt to hide her anger. "Cersei... I have to tell about that someone, to you. Someone I met almost two years before. Gods... I can't believe it has been almost two years. How fast the time has run, right?"
"Yes, Jaime. And I missed you, every minute of it." She picked his hand to kiss his fingers. Cersei didn't want to know that her handsome brother had taken a liking of some lowly woman. Anyone who was not a Lannister, or a Targaryen could never be enough and Cersei wished to cleanse her brother from all those unclean thoughts. Her kisses crawled up to his arm and towards his cheek, until she pulled herself on to his lap, taking his jaw in her slender soft fingers, planting hungry kisses to his lips. Even though he hesitated to respond, in the beginning, she tasted him... and forced him to comply to her hunger, with the same fierceness he used to show when they were children. "This is how you should welcome me, brother." She whispered taking long breath. "And don't tell me anything about anyone, who is not us. We are the only ones that matter. Do you remember what we both promised each other, when our mother passed away?" She questioned in her dark sensitive voice, while his eyes never left hers.
"No matter what, we will be there for each other." He repeated those old words meekly, with a guilty tone and Cersei badly wanted to clean that guilt off of him.
"We came to this world together and we will-" She paused.
"-leave this world together." He ended in a hollow voice but his eyes were soft like mist struggling to give up.
Cersei would never bend down for anyone but if her brother was in the verge of escaping her claws, she would burn the whole world to make him surrender. So, she straddled sitting on his groin, pouring kisses down his throat.
"Cersei, Please... Listen to me." Jaime parted holding her small waist, to put a stop on her movement. "Around two years back, Father sent me to Winterfell, to meet this girl. She is not like your friends, trying to climb up in status by seducing me." Cersei tried to hide her disgust, by forcefully pasting a smile on her lips, as she listened to her brother, praise the Stark bitch. "She is kind, lovely and genuine... I am sure, if you come to know her-"
"Would you leave me for some northern whore?" Cersei's voice trembled faking a painful tone, but Jaime's emerald eyes showed no change. "All these years, I waited thinking only about you, Jaime. I prayed to the Warrior and to the Mother, to send you back to me, meanwhile, you gallivanted the Seven Kingdoms, and fucked a wolf-bitch. Is this what I deserve?" Drops of tears rolled down her pale cheek, unable to even contemplate in her head, how he cheated on her, by thinking about another woman, that too a savage northerner.
"Its not like what you think." Jaime wiped her tears with his thumb and kissed her cheek. She knew her odds against that whore would be comparatively less in winning Jaime back. That Stark girl must have spread her legs to make Jaime feel so highly about her. Never had been a time, when Jaime praised some woman. "We didn't even share a kiss, Cersei. But I promised her that I will-"
"Promise?... What about the promise that you made to me?" She shrilled making him to mute down his voice while guiding his hands towards her big breasts, that he always liked to play with as a child. She and her brother were two sides of the same coin, born and brought up to give glory and fame to their father and they lived so attached, that Cersei could sense even the lightest tension in his muscles. "We both belong to each other, Jaime. That's how the Gods desired us to be. If we were Targaryens, we would have been married to each other. But we are not less than the dragons. Are we?" She raised a question, while unlacing the ties that held her gown together.
"No..." He answered while she peeled all the clothes that was sticking to her skin, to become naked. His eyes never left her curves, and those emerald eyes stuck to her round bosoms, that no man was able to escape getting distracted.
Cersei wanted to feel him too. She would have been glad to give her maidenhead to the Prince, but, for now, it would be for Jaime. The male part of herself. She saw himself in him and had she been born a man, it would be just like how Jaime looked. She craved to feel her brother's length inside of her and the image of herself fucking herself aroused her core. That was how even the Gods must have planned by making them twins, to make love to each other, for no one could be better to even touch them. Except the dragon himself...
She planted her kisses all over his chest, which had hairs grown over that strong muscles. He was strong and she could already feel herself wet, to be penetrated by him. Slowly... Gently... Calmly, Jaime's hand grabbed her waist and travelled all the way to her bosoms, groping it, while her hands worked on the laces of his breeches to take his cock out, that was already hard as rock and started dripping with his seeds.
His eyes didn't shine in happiness and eagerness, as how her emerald eyes shone while holding his cock to feel his girth and strength.
"Allara... Her name is Allara Stark, and I promised her to send a missive. If I do this-" His restrained thick voice was so feeble, in both pleasure and guilt. She bent down and leaned to catch his cock in her soft supple lips, bobbing her head, and he started tasting the pleasure. His loud groans were echoing the chamber, and he grabbed the locks of her golden hair. "Oh Gods..." He screeched.
She hollowed her cheeks to suck the tip of his length, while his face was flushed red, in excitement. It was time for him to take her before he spilled anything. So, she laid on her back, waving her hands to invite him. There was no more remorse remaining in his face, and she was overwhelmed to find her old Jaime. The same brother who would kill the whole world to be with her, crawled onto her body, with a new-found passion in him, as he worked between her legs, with his calloused fingers.
She was a moaning mess, when his fingers did its magic to make her wet as a river, and he adjusted his tip to her entrance, without waiting. Holding his weight on his elbows, Jaime leaned on her body and Cersei saw herself in him. She was delighted beyond ecstasy, as his length stretched through her walls, even amidst the pain of intrusion. Who could take her maidenhead, if not for herself? Jaime was her own other part and Cersei indulged in that pleasant movement, when he started to pound on her.
He was not timid and weak like before, chanting a northern whore's name. He was wild and beastly, clawing at her body, to show his power over her, as he thrusted. Suddenly, an evil thought spun in her head, when she restrained her legs to close around his shaft tightly, while he was reaching his climax and he flared at her in utmost anger.
"Who do you want Jaime? Me or that northern whore?" With her one eyebrow raised to curve, she questioned.
"What?-" He panicked, looking down at his immersed cock and shook his head. He tried to move out of frustration but she could feel his length throb inside of her and still didn't allow him move.
"Tell me now or I will leave you. Who do you want?"
He growled in frustration and clawed at her chin, pecking down kisses at her pout mouth and whispered. "You... Now spread your legs, sister."
In victory of knowing he would always be under her spell, she spread her legs and let him take control over her body, till he finished inside of her. When he rolled to his side, with sweat gleaming on his skin, she cuddled up to him, thinking of taking the moon-tea on the morrow.
Even though, she didn't bring up the topic of asking him to take the white cloak, she knew in few days, if she visited him at night continuously, he would eventually adhere to her plans. Her brother was a simple-minded fool, and she knew how to make use of his vulnerability.
If anyone of you are Cersei stan, then I am sorry. She is manipulative, narcissistic character as per the books. Although, I enjoyed writing her, I won't whitewash her, like how the show did. Please review and comment.
Hercules : Yeah... I thought a lot about making them kiss but let that moment go. Sorry. Thanks for you detailed review. I appreciate it. And I am glad Rhaegar's masturbation didn't come as a killjoy. I am planning for an Ashara's POV next chapter. Hopefully, I try to do justice. Rhaegar's and Elia's relationship is very complex but they don't love each other. Its one for duty.
firstofhername & Guest : Thanks :)
Swiggs : Oh... I was dreading. Thanks for telling it. How about this chapter?
Arianna Le Fay : It will be better but Rhaegar will be distraught, if Elia and Rhaenys die. I don't want him to become a wreck and hold some hope. I am meaning to let them live, at least for now. I loved writing Jaime and Allara. Surely something is going to happen between, the dragon, the lion and the she-wolf.
casper6six6 : Thanks for reading. One more chapter for you.
DDDread : Thanks for your fabulous review. Do read the rest of my story.