Waking up without any recollection of the past days had become new normal for Elsa. When she first woke, she always had that certain sense of panic. Everything around her was so facility-like, pastel blue, too bright and sterile-smelling. Then she would feel the wires going in her hand and her first instinct was to rip them off. But usually that was the part, when she would start remembering. She would remember her illness and Kristoff's worried face, she would remember her days in the children's department of the hospital and even gain some clips of the ambulance and intensive care unit, but those were hazy and dream-like. Her memories didn't really make her more comfortable to be where she was, but they calmed down some of the panic.

After the panic left Elsa's limbs, they became too heavy. She slumped back to the bed, and let her head to loll to her right until her cheek was pressed heavily against the pillow. Then she stared at her sleeping roommate whose name she couldn't remember, not that Elsa cared to. She was a girl, but it was hard to tell, because she didn't have a single hair on her head, not eyebrows or lashes or anything, she was completely bald. She was somewhere around eight and nine, Elsa had guessed that. Most of the days she slept, as much as Elsa could tell from her own sleeping. They never spoke together, and only times Elsa had heard her voice, were when she was crying during her family's visitations. Elsa didn't cry like that, she was over twelve already. Her father had told her that big girls didn't cry, it was embarrassing, annoying and unattractive. Though Elsa wasn't sure she was supposed to be attractive, nor was she sure she wanted to be, but she tried to follow his father's orders nevertheless. In secret, she sometimes cried. But no one had to know that, right?

Elsa didn't mind the silence they had in the room. She was happy to have a quiet roommate, if she had to have some roommate. It wasn't like Elsa herself was any more talkative. She didn't talk to the doctors or nurses that attended her, and she certainly didn't talk to the police who tried to interrogate her. Elsa knew better than to trust in authorities. No matter how sweet they seemed to be, Elsa was terrified of all of them. Especially uniforms made her feel uneasy. She still had bitter memories from her childhood, when she had still been stupid and naïve, thinking that polices were there to help children like her. She had been no more than eight-years-old. Elsa was not sure of her exact age, but they had still lived in Sweden with her father. Back then there was a policeman, Måns, he often visited their household, always in his uniform. He was a big, chubby man, not terribly tall, and he had a booming laughter that filled whole room. But the most distinctive characteristic Elsa remembered, was his laughing eyes, they reminded her of her mother's eyes in that picture Elsa loved so dearly, she liked them instantly.

Whenever Måns came, he sat in the parlor with her father, and talked about some things Elsa couldn't understand, nor was she allowed to listen. But she would bake some cinnamon buns for the men, which wasn't uncommon task for Elsa to do when they had guests, and then she would serve them with a shy smile, reserved just for Måns. Måns would laugh a little and praised her baking skills to the skies, and Elsa would bask in the rarely earned compliments until her father would shoo her off. Elsa did her best to please Måns, hoping he would save her from all the pain and suffering she had to endure in within the walls of that empty mansion, and many others like it.

Her silly daydreaming came to end when her father one day told her to go with Måns. Her father's displeased face, made Elsa think that maybe her dreams actually did come true, maybe Måns was finally saving her. And for the longest time, the tiny piece of hope had sparkled brightly inside her chest. That spark was quickly snuffed off, when her father had leaned in to whisper: "Remember to be a good girl." Her father always said that to her, when she had to go with his father's customers, and thinking that Måns was now one of them, had broken Elsa's tormented little heart. It had almost made Elsa cry then and there.

Elsa had sniffled the whole hour she had spent with Måns and he had been surprisingly gentle with her. But the experience itself had been one of the worst ones for her so far, no matter how gentle he tried to be with her. Måns had never bought her again from her father, but he still visited them, time to time. Elsa had still made them cinnamon buns, and brought them to the parlor, where the men were sitting, but she always had her gaze on the floor, and she scurried off as fast as she had put the tray down. Sometime later, they moved to Norway, and Elsa never saw Måns again. Well, not the Måns she had known, but every smiling, seemingly harmless man was potential Måns for Elsa. She made sure to never trust one, ever again.

A nurse came in to check out Elsa and her roommate's vitals, and force Elsa back to the reality she really didn't care to return. Yet again, her senses were filled with sterile stink and the dull blue color. The nurse was a smiley female, who chattered happily, even though Elsa's roommate only gave low grunts for answer. The hospital had long learned to only send female doctors and nurses in Elsa's room, since females only made her mildly anxious, while male once send her in spiraling panic. Though Elsa had gotten accustomed enough for the constant visit of the hospital staff, that she just mostly laid there, still and unresponsive, whenever they came in.

Today Elsa was in a quite sour mood. She was getting healthier, and being locked in an institution full of people and someone dotting over her all the time, started to get on her nerves. Now the nurse was checking her vitals and talking about something, but she didn't care to listen. The things they said were always the same, always about how lucky she was. How lucky Elsa had been to survive the disease which Elsa had never heard of, or which name she couldn't remember. Some sort of blood poisoning, or something. Apparently, it could shut down all of her organs, and not too many people survived it, if it developed to that point, or something. But no, Elsa hadn't die, she was so lucky. Then Elsa was lucky, because the damage her organs had suffered, was quite minimal. She was lucky, because there were people coming to visit her, people who cared for her. She was extremely lucky to have a friend like Kristoff. Kristoff who had visited her every weekend in the children's department, and apparently twice in the ICU, though Elsa couldn't remember that. Oh, how lucky she was.

But Elsa didn't feel lucky at all. She felt like she was in prison. She couldn't get up and walk outside if she wanted to. Of course she was used to that, but now she had nothing to distract her from that all-consuming boredom. Kristoff had brought her a book, but she couldn't find any enjoyment in reading anymore. Elsa hated the smell, the dull colors, the nurses and doctors talking and touching her, the detectives coming in and trying to talk to her about her past while she continued ignoring them. She hated the uncertainty of what would become of her, when she got better. She couldn't stand the agonizing pain. She hated the daze the drugs put her in, and she hated the dolorous clarity between the doses even more. Only thing she could tolerate, was sleeping, and that's what she did most of her time. When she was sleeping, there was no pain and there was no boredom, no uncertainty of the future. Elsa just wanted to sleep and not wake up anymore. Elsa was fairly certain, that she wanted to die.

Kristoff and his parents came when Elsa was wallowing in her self-pity after the lunch she hadn't eaten. The nurses and doctors said she should eat, but Elsa got her food through IV anyway, so what was the point? Mrs. Bjorgman looked at her uneaten lunch, and tried to courage her to eat some, but Elsa just shrugged noncommittally. Kristoff seemed a little nervous, and Elsa felt that something bad was about to be unrevealed. She swallowed her fear and tried to hide her shaky voice behind false bravado: "Good afternoon Mrs. Bjorgman." She glanced at Mrs. Bjorgman's face with a fleeting smile, which was the most she dared. But she lowered her eyes to her hands laying on top of the covers, fiddling with each other, and added meekly: "And Mr. Bjorgman."

After greetings, no one seemed to make any move to continue the chatting. Usually, Elsa was more than fine with silence, but now it hung uncomfortably within the room, making Elsa anxious. So she had to try to prompt the conversation forward: "So, uh—what brings you all the way here today?" Older Bjorgmans looked at her, surprised, that was probably the longest sentence she had managed in their presence. Kristoff kept his head down, he was really starting to unnerve Elsa.

Mrs. Bjorgman decided to put the poor girl out of her misery: "Elsa, we have talked with Kristoff a lot about this, and we would like to foster you after you're better. Kristoff is really fond of you, he even promised to give you his own room. And we heard that you don't have any relatives to take care of you. We would be really happy to add you into our family."

Elsa just laid there, dumbfounded, for a moment. She wanted nothing more than live in that beautiful farmhouse with her only friend. But when she turned to see said friend, her mouth still slightly open from shock, he didn't look too happy. Kristoff's eyes were still trained on the floor, and he was pursing his lips, deep frown on his face. Elsa was confused. Mrs. Bjorgman said that Kristoff wanted to live with her, but why he looked so troubled then?

Then Kristoff lifted his head up and looked at Elsa: "There's a catch." Of course there is! How could Elsa have been so stupid to believe, she would get something like that for free? She wasn't sure that she could pay that price anymore, not after she had tasted life without it. But Kristoff's catch wasn't what she thought. "The police promised to recommend us fostering you as the best solution for you, only if you did something for them. They said that their recommending would make it sure case that my family could foster you. But Elsa, they want your cooperation with their interrogation."

"I—I don't know if I can. It's just—."

"I know, and I'm so sorry to ask you about this, but please Elsa. They said that you have Sweden's citizenship, and they could send you back there. I don't want to lose you", Kristoff pleaded. "They said that you haven't done anything wrong, that they wouldn't punish you for anything you say. They just want you as a witness for something, they need you, I need you."

After that, it became quiet again. Kristoff was holding Elsa's right hand, pleading her with his eyes. Elsa wanted to believe in Kristoff. She wanted to think that Kristoff would only ask her things that were in her own best interest, and he would be right about everything. But Kristoff was just a boy, what did he know about anything? She knew that Kristoff wouldn't purposely hurt her, but the detectives could have easily tricked him, make him believe that they were there to help. Kristoff had betrayed her once before by telling her whereabouts, and now she was in this mess. He had justified it by saying that he couldn't let her die, but that wasn't his choice to make. He should have let Elsa choose about her life and death.

But what was there for Elsa? If she didn't take the change, they would send her back to Sweden for sure. She didn't want to go there, she didn't want to go back to her loneliness. This might be her only change, and if they screwed her over, at least she had tried her best. Maybe the detectives weren't lying, and she could actually be fostered by Bjorgmans. Could she live with herself if she passed her only opportunity?

"I'll do it."

"You—Wait? You'll tell them what they want to know?"

"I'll tell everything I know. You can tell them to come, I'll do it."

"It's—She's waiting outside. We'll get her." Kristoff leaned in to kiss her forehead, so softly that Elsa almost cried. Then he whispered gently against her skin: "Be strong, you can do it." And Elsa could only nod and swallow the lump in her throat.

Soon after the Bjorgmans left, the detective came in. Elsa sighed in relief. There was only one, and she was a female, dressed in casual clothing. She wasn't too old, in her early thirties maybe. She had heart-shaped face, with thick rimmed glasses on her nose. Her hair, in ponytail, was blonde, but closer to Kristoff's color than Elsa's. She wasn't skinny, nor chubby, but looked otherwise delicate, which might be due to her short stature. If Elsa was going to be interrogated by police, she was happy it was by that, harmless looking woman. Elsa knew that looks could easy lull one in a false sense of security, she could easily be as dangerous as any other cop. But Elsa couldn't help but be relieved that they didn't send a man, she didn't think she could talk with one in the room.

"Hey, I'm Ida Ullmann. You can call me Ida. I'm here to ask you questions about your father and his associates. Are you ready for that?" Elsa nodded slowly. Did she really have any other options? Ida seemed content with her answer, and sat down on the chair next to Elsa, notebook in her hands.

"Okay, lets start easy. Do you know what happened to your father?" Elsa nodded again, hesitantly. She wasn't sure if Ida meant his death, or how he died, but she knew both anyway.

"So you are aware of his demise?" So it was about his death.

"Y—Yes. I was there", Elsa answered with shaky voice. She wanted to tell all the information quickly, so this interrogation would end sooner. She was already feeling dizzy from the nervousness. Her heart was thumping in her ears.

Ida's face seemed to brighten for her answer. She looked pleased, so Elsa was quite sure that she had given the right answer. "You were there? Can you recall the moments before your father's death?"

"Umm—He had been shot. We were driving fast, escaping, I guess. Then he umm—He started losing consciousness and we—uh—we crashed, I think. When I wake up, he was—uh—he was dead. Then I ran away."

"Did you see who shot your father?"

"Uh—Yes", Elsa didn't really want to go there.

"Can you elaborate? What lead to the shooting?"

"Umm—Father and –uh—Author had a fight. I don't know his real name, Father and others called him Author, many people my father –uh—introduced me to, they had nicknames."

"Did your father have a nickname?"

"Uh—Yes. They—they called him Duke. Everyone did, I never heard anyone using his right name", Elsa was a little confused, what did her father's nickname matter. But she tried to be as cooperative as she possibly could, so she told everything she knew.

"Thank you, Elsa. Now, do you know what was this 'Author' and your father's fight about?"

"Umm—I think—I'm not sure, but I think it was about money. Author didn't want to—uh—pay as much as my father was asking for", Elsa was started to get embarrassed, she really didn't want to talk about this. She trained her eyes strictly to her nervously fiddling hands.

"Do you know what was this 'Author' was trying to buy?"

"Umm—me? That's why I was there, too. I mean—uh—that was why father took me there. It wasn't—umm—it wasn't the first time we were there." Elsa was feeling terribly shamed and nervous. How would the detective react now that she knew about Elsa? But when Elsa risked a glance, Ida didn't look surprised or disgusted with her. Fleetingly, she looked disturbed. But mostly she just looked like someone, who had gotten a confirmation for something awful she already knew. Was it possible, that police already knew about everything? Were they just ignoring it, maybe even participating, like Måns had? Elsa felt sick.

But Ida surprised her with a gentle hand on her blanket covered knee. Elsa flinched only slightly. The detective spoke gently, but convincingly: "We will catch this man, I promise you. We will catch every single man, who has hurt you, or children like you. All we need, is you to tell us everything you know about them, like you have today. You did good, Elsa, you did really good. Do you think you would be able to tell us all of it?"

Elsa nodded slowly. She wanted to trust Ida. Elsa was so tired of fighting alone, she just wanted someone catch her from her fall, and save her. Ida smiled at her warmly: "Great. And now I'll go, and see what I can do about your housing arrangement."

Ida hadn't lied. Snow had already fallen heavily on the ground, when Elsa got out of the car at Bjorgmans' yard, one December morning. It had taken almost a month of paper work and three different antibiotics through IV for Elsa to get there. She still felt weak and sickly, and the pain hadn't fully gone away, but she felt more content than she had in the longest time. Finally, she got to move in her dream house, and live with her best-friend. She got to have siblings, not that she was terribly excited for Ingrid or Knut, but Isaac and Kristoff as her brothers didn't feel bad at all.

Of course Elsa knew it was all temporally. She was only a foster child, not an adopted one like Kristoff. Someday, they would probably find her a new home, and she could only hope it was more like the Bjorgmans than the Weseltons. Mrs. Bjorgman had been so nice to her, forcing Elsa's untrusting nature to like her, even though she knew better. Mr. Bjorgman was a gentle man, too. Elsa was still wary of him, like she was of any man, but with a warm smile, he always gave her the space she needed.

Knut and Ingrid had ignored her, looking displeased to have an added member to the family. But small and quiet Isaac had brought her a small origami angel. He had made it himself, and he hoped, it would keep Elsa safe in the future. Elsa had almost cried. She had never felt as loved as she did there, standing on the frost hardened snow, surrounded by her new family and her best-friend, who was going to be her brother. Elsa knew that there was still a lot for her to deal from her past, but she felt like she could finally move forward. She thought that this might be it, her change for a normal life, and a normal future.

A/N The end. Naah, I'm just kidding, this is the start. I hope you liked the chapter, please leave a comment. As always, I love reading your thoughts of the chapter. See you hopefully in the next week, stay safe and healthy! Ps. spoiler alert: you'll meet Anna in the next chapter.