Chairs, draped in both blue velvet loveliness and harshly carved curves, formed a strange defensive structure around the television in the Drawing Room when Arthur came down that afternoon. He hadn't brought his books and his papers down as he'd wanted to snag a spot but faced with the music it probably was a good idea to not do so. The green shirt – he preferred to wear green on his off days, or when he wasn't in the public eye, which was rare – he was wearing sat snugly around his elbows. With summer having fallen onto Spades, the lovely coats and jackets that Anna had created had to be put for rest for now.
It looked like to him that practically everyone was there, either engrossed in conversation, watching the television or reading the paper. Only Alfonso gave him more than a moment's stare, waving and moving his chair backwards so Arthur could get a chair and sit down next to him.
"Thanks," he muttered underneath his breath, to which he got an obliging nod. "Have I missed anything?"
"No, we were just spending some time after the meal," Alfonso replied. "Feeling better? Heard you weren't feeling well yesterday."
"I think so. It wasn't anything major. Probably because I don't have the strongest of immune systems-" Arthur started to say, but paused at the proximity of the people around them. Obviously, the lack of his presence yesterday could have very much been interpreted as weakness, and it wasn't in his best interests to come up with another one. "Er, I'm fine now, though. Thank you for asking."
"Don't worry about it. But yeah, we're just trying to figure out-"
With his only friendly acquaintance being caught up in the conversation of his best friend, Arthur took it as a social cue to be polite and move on. The television was playing some sort of weather report, newspapers from different publications were being passed around, and the bubbling river of conversation had turned into surging waves once Arthur had arrived.
"Arthur, is it true that you were feeling unwell last night?"
"Do you know if Sakura's here? It's weird that she's," Clare trailed off, looking meaningfully around their circle, "…Not."
"It isn't because she's been taken out on another date outside, has she?" Words rose up from the group, gossiping about her to the point where it filled Arthur with an instinct to speak on her behalf.
In an almost friendly gesture, Natalya's eyes met with Arthur's. "Don't be absurd," she replied harshly, "With a majority of us not even being invited, the prince isn't that stupid."
"How do you know? You're not even in her group of friends."
Her eyebrows furrowed, as cold as ever, but Arthur stepped in. He'd seen that expression on his face mirrored many times over – though they'd only met briefly, she'd done nothing unkind to Sakura, so he trusted her at least for this. Not to mention their agreement. "She was with us before Emma and Leon left on their dates, so there's no way she was going with them. Perhaps she's tired."
"Maybe, but there's no way she doesn't know that she's the most popular in the rankings. Is that a reason why she wouldn't show up?"
Avie rubbed the inside of her arm. "Not to mention the whole thing with the kiss," she said, though she looked uncomfortable. "I know that we promised to not talk about it, but she was as unhappy as the rest of us last night. Maybe she didn't want to think about it, either."
"Looking back at the Broadcast last night, none of us looked really happy about it," Thomas chipped in, "Even the people who didn't come to chat afterwards."
Everyone nodded, including Arthur. Perhaps his shock had been taken for sadness, which would be a relief had it not meant that Alfred hadn't interpreted it like that as well. It took practically everything for him to not avert his gaze since it would obviously make him stand out from everyone else leaning into the conversation.
"Well, someone must be happy," Marianne huffed. Her braid – without a single hair out of place – flicked over her shoulder as her eyes raked over everyone sitting in attendance. "Either the prince was lying to everyone on television, or he really has had his first kiss with either of us. It's not like he really has any strength, anyway, if anything it's his advisorship that's the talk of the Inner Circle, poor thing."
The silence that fell over the group, and the subsequent burst of conversation was the first time almost all the remaining twelve Chosen were united.
"Do you seriously believe the prince to be lying about something as important as that?!"
As people stood up, chair legs skidded on the marbled floor, the sound harsh to the ears over the accusatory words being thrown around. It did feel slightly too dramatic, but with the unspoken words and feelings left by the confession on the Broadcast, it was to be expected. "He wouldn't do that to all of us!"
"Marianne, I can't believe you would say something like that-"
Arthur himself couldn't help but shift slightly to stand up in his seat. How could she insinuate that Alfred wouldn't be honest, after everything he'd done for all of them? With all the kindness and respect he'd shown everyone? All his years of being an exemplary prince with everything he had to work with, and something as important as a first kiss would be doubted? How could she even be so bold as to blurt it out loud?
"Fates, I'm not accusing him of anything! I was just stating a possibility, but why has it gotten you up in such arms? Sit down, everyone." She lifted her chin. Once again, her eyes were discerning, ghosting over Arthur's face longer than he would have liked before she moved on. "Well. That settles my suspicions."
"What suspicions? About Al – the prince, or-" he couldn't help but demand.
"To put it simply, I said it on purpose to see how everyone would react. They were deliberately made to be incendiary, and it worked. Everyone behaved exactly as I'd assumed they would, meaning that the odds are whoever he kissed isn't here. That, or they are here, and they're a very good actor." A small frown came over her face at that, but her point didn't falter.
"…so, you're saying it's Sakura, then?" Avie ventured after awhile, looking nervously at the tense crowd.
"Who says?"
Thomas threw his hands up in frustration, dislodging the newspaper from his lap. "It could be Emma or Leon, hell, since he's taking both of them out on a date today!"
"You're just saying that because neither of them are here to defend themselves," Arthur bit out. "Meaning they can't deny or confirm the rumours."
"What? Don't you feel jealous of the possibility that Alfred's kissed someone that's not you for the first time, and we don't even know who it is? They're making us fight over it because they won't come out and confess."
"You don't know that I'm feeling jealous at all," Arthur heard the words fly out of his mouth before his too prideful mind thought them out. Understandably, this turned a few heads.
"You're not…jealous? How in the name of the Fates are you not jealous?" Clare demanded. "Is this a holding facility thing?"
"What? Things aren't the same with everyone."
"That has nothing to do with being in the holding facilities or not," Avie retorted, two pink spots appearing on her cheeks. "Now there's so little of us, there's no use in singling us out anymore. Forget it. It's just his own feelings, and we should leave it at that."
Marianne's curiousness was piqued, though, and he could tell by how she adjusted her glasses. "There's no way you're not jealous. Are you uninterested in him romantically, perhaps? Do you want to just pursue him from the crown?"
Arthur took in a sharp breath. "Pardon?"
"I said what I said."
All at once, all those pairs of eyes cottoned onto him. The edges of the lavish Drawing Room, the glass windows caging in the sunlight, the painted on gold and blue of the chairs, even the crystals of the overhead chandeliers glittered crueller than usual. Brown, blue, green and violet blended into unanswered questions that spoke louder than either of their owners ever could. Now the defensive structure, the phalanx, was closing on him, yet making him feel so alone that his chest threatened to squeeze in on itself.
They don't think his first kiss could be with me, he realised, his hands gripping the seat of his chair harder, so instead they'll paint me as a power hungry holding facility candidate that wants Alfred for everything but himself, when that could not be further from the truth.
"Wait, really?"
"Why aren't you responding?"
"Arthur, you've been awfully quiet." The sneer was practically audible in whoever was speaking, and at the corner of his vision he could even see Alfonso's usual cheerful face waver. "Is what Marianne suggesting true?"
"No, of course not," he said, unable to keep a waver out of his voice. "Why would I think that would be something I had to do?"
"You might not feel as if you had a choice coming out of those holding facilities."
Arthur looked around the circle desperately for a neutral face in the group, but found practically nothing, not even those from the holding facilities. Avie looked stricken, Thomas's mouth had twisted itself into a frown and Alfonso was looking determinedly at the floor. Taking another breath, he was about to steel him for a verbal lashing from all corners until he caught sight of how Natalya was looking at him. In an action so small he would have missed it in a crowd, she gave him an almost imperceptible shake of her head, completely dashing Arthur's expectations for a taunt. She was still honouring their agreement, all those months ago, back in Hearts.
"You wouldn't want to confess, Arthur? No matter, then," Marianne turned her back pointedly to him, "Sooner or later, your true affections'll come to the light. And I know I won't be the only one eager to truly see you for who you are."
The thought of spitting out the truth, that Alfred's first, second, third and Fates knew how many kisses belonged to Arthur, and Arthur alone, passed through his mind for a moment. He had to dismiss it, though, because even if he had said it, it would look desperate in that moment to regain what little social footing he'd lost in those past ten minutes. Not to mention he'd promised Alfred, though he hadn't said it out loud, that he wouldn't use his affection as a bargaining chip. Alfred's soft kisses, sweetened by the youth and the exhilaration of his first love, couldn't be treated as callously as that.
He'd just thought of him his first love. Did that mean he-
"I care for him the same way you all do," Arthur spoke after all of them had turned back to the television set for the afternoon news, half to silence his pressing thoughts, half to set the record correct. "I didn't come into the Deciding for the crown, or for whatever nefarious reason you might be assuming. I came into the Deciding for him. That's…that's all."
From their lack of reactions, it didn't seem as if they'd caught all of what he'd said, but they had understood the message, and so had Arthur. And for now, that was acceptable.
Alfonso paused, and for a moment he expected he was going to turn away from him, but green eyes met fern and he shifted, gesturing to the spot next to him, giving Arthur a place with the other Chosen.
"But yes, of course! Even this morning, on my commute, I heard two schoolboys discuss it," the television anchor was more enthusiastic than Arthur had ever heard him describe the weather on the plain television set in the holding facilities. At least this slot was reserved only for the Deciding. "And you wouldn't expect them to be chatting about it."
The woman next to him was even more cheery. "Well, with that Broadcast, it would definitely have us all talking. With how boisterous our beloved prince is, I think I speak for everyone when we were all surprised that he hadn't kissed someone earlier. I mean, it's been three months!"
"It was a wait, but I will say it's been worth it. It'll be interesting to see how it impacts the next biweekly poll, if we find out who's gotten that coveted first kiss. Speaking of polls, I think it's time we take a look at the latest one. What do you think?"
"Coming right up."
The hot press of all the Chosen crowding tighter around the television made Arthur hunch his shoulders as he too stared. There was no way he wanted to be ranked high, but then again his proud self wouldn't be able to take last place.
"Oh! As expected, Lady Sakura takes the first place," A headshot of Sakura's face, the same one they'd taken during the introductory week of the Deciding, fanned out behind a percentage. Twenty nine percent.
Twenty nine percent?! The surprise in Arthur's thoughts was clearly echoed around him, making themselves known in the form of gasps and feverish whispers.
"I knew it! She got the first date, and she might have gotten the first kiss, and she's so pretty and put together, and – ow! What was that for?"
"There's no need to be extolling her virtues like that," someone hissed, irritated. "We're in the same palace."
Natalya spoke up, sounding clearly annoyed. "What's wrong with complimenting each other? You're just unhappy about getting such a crappy result."
"Even for a televoting, this result really is impressive! Let's look at the results, shall we. Second is Sir Leon, third is Sir Thomas, fourth is Lady Emma,"
"Hey, look at our rankings. Not bad for two guys not from the Inner Circle, right?"
Arthur tuned out the announcement briefly to search for his name, sitting at a ninth place. Nine percent to match ninth place, tied up neatly. He hunted for disappointment, frustration, anger within himself, yet found nothing but a sense of relief. Ninth wasn't twelfth, and it wasn't first. Good. Anything to stay underneath the spotlight.
His thoughts turned to Sakura, and how reserved she was. He hoped that she wouldn't be too self conscious about the news, yet knowing their similarities, she would struggle with it though it was a truly impressive result. Making a mental note to speak to her when she was ready, he turned back to looking through the list. Relief washed over him, like the homemade balm his family used before he'd gone to the holding facilities and couldn't afford a clinic.. Emma and Leon were doing very well. With Alfred being so beloved with the people, it was natural that he deserved a partner with the same amount of popularity.
"Arthur…" Alfonso trailed off, moving his head lower to look at him, but paused once he heard him exhale. "You okay?"
"Yes, of course, I'm all right," he replied. Hm. Alfonso was in sixth, sitting in the middle of the pack. "Congratulations, Alfonso."
Both the news anchors were chirping away on top of their whispers. "Wow, what a turn of events! Wait – you don't look very happy. Is it because your favourite isn't in the top?"
"You could say that…I thought their dance was quite cute, and he has a very established background in magic, which is what I think the Primary Suit needs. Not to mention it would shake things up if the Queen came from a holding facility, which would be nice." Natalya gave Arthur a knowing glance, which went unnoticed along with the comment as he was speaking with Alfonso. She looked up to see Avie was doing the same, and they both broke off abruptly to inspect their respective scores.
"There's no need to feel so dejected. As they say, the process is just getting started."
A familiar smile danced on Alfonso's tawny skin, reaching past his mole. "Thanks. But hey, you really don't like being in the spotlight, huh? Gonna come up like a dark horse for all of us?"
He'd barely managed to stop giving himself away, hopefully clarified things, his friends were doing relatively well in the popularity rankings, and he was still going under the radar. Perhaps it was all right to be a little proud of himself, at least for now.
Sitting back and offering him a cocky grin, Arthur nodded. "Perhaps."
It was only after night had fallen that the two carriages had managed to make their way back to the palace.
Both Emma and Alfred were laughing as they staggered outside the carriage at a joke Leon had been telling. They'd been visiting the amusement park two train stops away. Emma had suggested taking the train, as being from Diamonds – where trains were the main form of transport – she was good with them, but after some discussion it was agreed that with all the guards and camera people it wouldn't be very safe.
Other than that, there had been not much stress with the day. Alfred had stopped for a few photos and signed stuff until both his wrists ached and Berwald and Matthias had gently reminded him that he had to try to stop indulging everyone he could for once. Emma and Leon, on the other hand, were excited to see a Spades variant of an amusement park and had went on practically everything from boat rides to wooden rollercoasters. Their happiness reminded Alfred of the childish excitement in how he'd gone into the Deciding in the first place.
"Seriously, you should have seen your face when you and Leon came out of the ghost house," Emma giggled, her lovely hair framing her face as she bobbed back into the entrance, side by side with the two boys. "You looked terrified!"
"Heh, I mean, ghosts aren't really my thing, y'know. Since even heroes have weaknesses!"
"Pfft. I mean. You were totally sweet with all those kids wanting your autograph, so that's okay." Leon chipped in, ducking underneath Alfred's arm as he opened the door for them, the cameras capturing every motion. "I was worried that the line would form not for the ride, but for your signature."
"Ya get used to it after awhile." Alfred said, flushing a little. Maybe he had overdone it a bit, but what could beat those people smiling so widely? It was one of the perks of the job.
"Should we put away your purchases with your maids, Sir Leon, Lady Emma?" Of course, being an amusement park, there was always something to buy. Not mentioning all the delicious food they'd all bought, Emma had picked up a pair of fluffy cat ears, and Leon had bought a flashy themed jacket.
"Yep, thank you – and I really appreciate all the hard work today," Alfred gave them a grin, "Please get some food and some rest."
"Of course, Your Highness, Lady Emma, Sir Leon." With that they were off, leaving the three of them to stand around in the foyer, much cooler compared to the summer heat outside.
"Thank you for today, Your Highness," Emma went first, curtseying and giving Alfred a hug. "I really enjoyed myself! And it was fun to go to a different type of amusement park than I'm used to. It was amazing to spend time with you."
"Same here, Lady Emma," he gave her a kiss on the hand, "I'll see you tomorrow. Would you-" Before he could finish his question, the two of them watched her skip across the landing and across the steps, where she was surely about to take some rest.
Next was Leon. "I'm not sure if I can word it, like, any better than her," he gestured back to his friend, "But I feel the same. Thank you, Your Highness, for choosing me today. It means a lot."
"It was awesome hanging out with you. And, uh, you might not need to mention this to anyone, but…" Alfred double checked before he spoke, lowering his voice slightly so the camera wouldn't pick up on it. "I really appreciate you being friendly with Emil – Officer Steillson."
A hint of surprise appeared; the first Alfred had ever seen on his composed face. "You're, like, okay with us being friendly?"
"It's not against the rules, is it? And a lot of people in the palace, the Primary Suit and I included, that are friends with a lot of the guards, so it would be kinda unfair for the Chosen to not be allowed to do the same."
Leon nodded. "You're friendly with Emil too?"
"Uh, his…" Alfred still had no idea what to call Matthias in relation to Emil, "He's kinda with Officer Oxenstierna and Kohler, and we've known each other since forever, so when he applied to work in the palace it felt natural."
A smile played on Leon's face, and his slender arms relaxed. "He helps guard our floor at night, and I'm totally horrible at sleeping at a good hour, so that's kind of how it worked out, too. It's nice to see we have something else in common, Your Highness."
"Since he's new, he's felt awkward at times, but it's good to see he's made a friend, so I gotta thank you for that. Anyway," Alfred raised his voice, meaning that they weren't whispering for too long that it was suspicious, "Thanks for today, let's spend more time together soon." With that, he decided to give him a hug.
He heard Leon pause, probably in surprise, before Alfred felt his cool hands rest on his back. "I'm looking forward to that."
"Would you like me to bring you back to your room?"
"I'd like that, Your Highness."
"Get some rest, okay? I'll see you tomorrow at breakfast."
With another bow, Leon let him close the door. For a moment, Alfred closed his eyes, letting the cool wood relax him for a few breaths. The date went well, neither of them were clamouring to be sent home, and he'd gotten to know them better. By all Deciding metrics, it was a great day.
In Alfredland, though…
Guiltily, he felt his gaze slip through what felt like brambles to Arthur's room two doors down. He'd memorised the position, though it used to be just another room out of thirty nine others. But it was his, and that was what made it stand out.
Within the dimly lit hallway, as it was nearing eleven, he couldn't exactly make out whether there was light seeping through the crack. After walking past and realising it was, before he could stop his stupid self, he raised his fist and knocked twice.
Fates, there really was no turning back now. But instead of having the best case scenario, which was Arthur, or the worst case scenario, where an upset Arthur would open the door and ask to leave, it was his maid, Anna.
"Ah! Your Highness, please excuse me," her long brown hair tumbled past her shoulders as she fell into a curtsy. She was holding a jar of bath salts and her sleeves were rolled up, and as Alfred was invited inside, he realised the room was coated with the scent of the roses from the garden. "I was expecting Sir Arthur."
"Miss…Anna, right?" With one maid being assigned to each Chosen member, Alfred had felt it was important to remember all their names beforehand. At her nod, he continued. "I'm sorry to intrude, but can I ask where he is? It's past curfew – n-not that I wanna punish him, I'm just worried."
"Oh, I believe he was in the library returning some of the books he'd borrowed after dinner," she said with a hitch in her throat. "I apologise, I'm just surprised you remembered my name."
"Don't be, please," he said. "You're serving all of us so diligently, it's the least I can do."
Her chocolate eyes lit up. "Well, is it okay if I ask if you're fetching him? Or going to the library?"
"Do you really need him badly?"
"It's not urgent, I've just been fixing his bath, but…" Anna's fingers trailed off on the edges of her black pants, "I was wondering if you two had spoken privately."
"Ah…" He didn't want to upset her hopes, as from what Matthias and Emil had told him, all the maids were happy to root for the Chosen they were assigned to. "Well, with everything going on, I don't think Sir Arthur and I have had the time."
"I see," she said, though Alfred could catch her tone faltering slightly. "Erm, please don't punish him, Your Highness, he said he would be back very shortly."
With that information, Alfred was half tempted to stay for a little longer so he could catch a conversation with Arthur. But then again, it would be akin to startling him, and that wasn't what he'd want out of a conversation, and he was sure Arthur felt the same.
Giving her a reassuring grin, he took one back step towards the door. "Don't worry, Miss Anna, I understand. It's been a late night for all of us, so there's nothing to fear. Please tell him I was, uh…"
What had he meant to do when he came inside Arthur's room willingly? To see him? To talk to him? To hold him again, like they had in that back room, so entangled in secrecy that he didn't know where Arthur's forearm ended and his thigh started, and he didn't want to know?
To kiss him again, to be caught up in the headiness of his adoration?
Shaking his head slightly, causing his cowlick to bob, he continued his answer, fighting away his thoughts. "C-Checking on all the Chosen tonight, wondering on how they were doing. Thank you for your hard work tonight, Miss Anna, I'll…!"
The bear. The same bear that Alfred had picked up in the city square was sitting in the middle of Arthur's neatly made bed, something he only managed to catch on when he was looking around the room for an easy diversion. Well, his attention was diverted indeed. He'd expected the bear to be sitting on a desk or something of that nature, but to see it on a place as intimate as his bed…
Anna followed his gaze. "Oh, he sleeps with it every night," she admitted, smiling a little. "It's very sweet to see him with it every morning when I greet him. Do you, erm, happen to know who's given it to him? Your Highness."
Alfred could feel something other than the summer heat creep up behind him. "I…I don't think that's for me to say, heh," he said, nodding quickly. Oops, he had to get out before she found out too much. "Anyway. Goodnight, Miss Anna."
The mirth in her voice was unmistakable. "Please get some rest, Your Highness. I'll ensure Sir Arthur does the same."
Once he was outside, though, the giddiness of the knowledge faded away into the summer haze. Alfred's pressed blue sneakers, worn and tired from the day of walking, shuffled uncertainly towards the direction of the library, before giving up and moving back to his bedroom.
"Dear Alfred," Arthur pondered out loud, working his pen through the elegant parchment he'd brought with him to the library.
"I hope this letter finds you well.
Did the date with Emma and Leon go as you planned it? There is never a dull moment with the two of them around, so I'm sure that you enjoyed your time with them. I appreciate that there are so many things weighing on your mind, so I was hoping to take your mind off them with this note, however I am unsure how to deliver this note to you.
I'm starting to understand my place in the Deciding, however I still don't fully understand everything. With the process having being going on long enough that it might start to apply significant pressure on you, I understand that it would be selfish to ask for more time, but...
I'm sorry for everything that happened between us that night. I was too panicked, too worried about the unknown to be singled out, selected like that. I hope you can understand."
Though he'd accomplished one of his afternoon tasks of returning the books he'd finished with, there was also this. It had lasted far too long, and he would probably be rightfully scolded by the Jack if he was caught, but the stifling atmosphere of the room was something he wasn't prepared to deal with. Not to mention the fact that he didn't want to disturb his maid.
There was something calming about writing underneath the fireplace that he appreciated, however. Was it because the crackling of the faint fire reminded him of his childhood days, or was it the portrait of Alfred's mother that rested above it, watching over him?
The shadows the night casted on her portrait dulled it somewhat, but the light from the fireplace still lit her gentle expression. Had she protected Alfred as much as she could have done? Would she understand the hardships he was currently going through?
…Would she have hated him for making things hard for her son?
No, no, these sorts of thoughts are rude for a former queen, he told himself harshly. Focus on this letter, and you can go to bed.
Even if he never worked up the courage to send it to Alfred, perhaps it would help him clarify things. After all, it wouldn't be right to speak with him when even he himself couldn't confront the confusion in his mind.