Agnarr felt bad he was leaving Anna a day early, without giving her any real explanation. But how was he supposed to tell her where they were going, and then tell her that she wasn't allowed to tag along. He wasn't great at talking about the harder subjects. He had never been. He and Iduna had always done their very best to keep Anna out of the darker sides of their lives, especially when it came to Lotte.
Lotte was a sore subject for Iduna, any mention of their baby girl could bring her to tears. Often he was so focused on Iduna's pain, that he forgot his own. She had been his too, his firstborn. He had held her the day she had been born. It had been a stormy winter day. The baby in his arms had been so tiny, two weeks early, she'd barely seemed real. But then she had reached for his finger, held it in her tiny fist, and at that moment, she had wrapped him around her pinky.
Agnarr wasn't so sure he could go to see her. He wasn't sure if he reopened the wound, he would be able to close it again. Losing Lotte, had hurt more than he could have ever imagined. It had sent his whole life spiraling downhill. His marriage had hit a rock-bottom. They had barely tolerated each other. With all the built-up anger and sadness inside of them, there had been no one else to lash out to than each other. Most days, there still wasn't. Their marriage never fully recovered from the tragedy.
Anna had been the one holding them together. Not only as a married couple, but as people. Anna was the reason to get out of bed, to not go and jump off a bridge, but get better. Anna had also been a reminder of what they had lost. Some days it was hard not to resent her for that. Lotte had been so excited for the new little sister she was going to have. Every time Agnarr saw the ever-growing bump that was Iduna's tummy, he had thought, why did that little thing inside get to live, when his little princess didn't.
But then everything had changed, when the new babe was laid to his arms. It was a tiny little thing, though way bigger than his Lotte had been. The baby had been pink and screamed on top of her lungs, unlike her quiet sibling. The moment she had looked at him with her unfocused eyes, he had known he would die a thousand deaths before he would let the same thing happen to her than had happened to Lotte.
He had tried his best to keep Anna as safe as he could, but sometimes he wasn't sure if he was keeping her from the right things. He had been so focused to never lose Anna like he had lost Lotte, that he had forgotten there were other things that little girls needed too. He should have done more to make Anna's childhood happy, as well as safe. When Anna had been just a toddler, she was so easily amused, but as she grew older, they grew busier. She had been left alone in the world that had no one for her. They had forgotten that life was a balance between fun and responsibilities.
His little girl had grown up so much during the time she had spent on her own. She had grown in the ways they had never allowed her to. She had found happiness, friends and a boyfriend, all the things she had ever wanted. Agnarr was afraid for his daughter's safety, but he was still so proud of her. He wished he knew what words to say, while he was looking at Anna for the last time for a long time. He didn't know when they would meet next and wanted her to know that he admired the young woman she had become.
All he managed was: "It's been nice to see you again."
Then they hugged, until some noise from the stairway took Anna's attention. "Elsa? What are you doing here? And my gosh, stop dragging that luggage! Kristoff will lose his mind if he sees you carrying that up the stairs with your injured leg!"
Anna's screeching, forced Agnarr to look at the direction of the noise. There was a girl, her back towards them, dragging a heavy looking bag up. She looked like her strength might buckle at any second. Agnarr rushed to her side. He picked up the luggage, surprisingly without any trouble. It barely weighed anything, the girl must have either been really tired, weak, or just plain dramatic.
But he wasn't there to judge, so he just threw the luggage bag over his shoulder and asked: "Where to?"
"Oh no, sir, you don't have to. I-I-I can carry it myself," the girl's soft voice answered, stuttering. "Nonsense, it's no trouble. Where to?" he repeated.
"One floor higher," Anna instructed instead. "She's Elsa, who's room you stayed in."
"Oh, she's the much heard of Elsa," Agnarr said teasingly and started walking towards the apartment he had spent the night in.
"Are you alright? I thought you were supposed to wait for us to come up in the New Year," he heard Anna ask behind him.
"Yeah, everything is fine. I just have to do a couple things here," the girl, Elsa, answered with her soft voice. "Are you sure? Because you look a little—"
"I'm sure Anna."
"But—"
"We're here," Agnarr interrupted and put down Elsa's luggage. Then he caught his wife's face. It was pale as snow, like she had seen a ghost.
Then he took a real look at Elsa, and understood that Iduna indeed had seen a ghost. "Lotte?" "E-e-e-e-excuse me?" the girl stuttered, bewildered. She physically withdrew from them, pressing her hands close to her chest.
"No, no, no, this is Kristoff's sister: Elsa," Anna hurried to explain.
Agnarr just ignored her. He couldn't tear his gaze from the pale girl in front of him, he was mesmerized. Elsa shifted uncomfortably, clearly not used to people looking at her. But Iduna and Agnarr couldn't look at anything else but the miracle in front of them. "No, it's you, Lotte. I would know you anywhere. You look exactly like your mother."
"You knew my mother?" Elsa said, frowning confusedly. Her tone had a hint of curiosity. "Of course I do, she's standing right next to me," Agnarr answered and pointed to Iduna.
"No, my mother is dead," Elsa shook her head. She hugged herself, trying to back away from them. Agnarr couldn't let her go, not when he had just gotten her back.
"No, it's you! I would recognize your face anywhere. Even with deeper blue eye color and darker lashes and eyebrows. It's you under all those features, I know you." This made Elsa stop her retreat. She was intrigued by the fact that Agnarr mentioned her darker colored features.
Anna stepped between them again: "I'm so sorry Elsa. You probably look like Lotte, they're still grieving, they see her in every young woman, I'm sure."
Agnarr started patting his pockets hurriedly, before finding his wallet. "Please, I have a picture! It's you Lotte, I swear." Then he pulled out the little photo of his daughter he had been hiding there all these years and gave it to the blonde girl.
Elsa hesitantly took the picture and gasped. Anna joined to look. Her eyes widened immediately as she started comparing the little girl to the older one next to her. Agnarr knew that it would be impossible to not to recognize them as the same person. The distinct, almost white hair, the cute, light freckles on her nose, pale skin, and those big, blue eyes, all the features were there. Maybe the color of her eyes didn't exactly match, but they were the same pair of eyes, he knew that. Agnarr knew that it was his baby girl in front of him.
"It can't be," Elsa denied. She left the picture to Anna when she turned around, trying to open the door of the apartment.
"No, please, Lotte! Listen to us, I beg you." Iduna finally seemed to find her voice.
She grabbed Elsa's arm, trying to stop her from leaving. They were so close, almost hugging. Elsa stood unmoving and breathed deeply in. Then her eyes widened; she recoiled as if she had been slapped so hard she almost fell. Shock marred her beautiful face. This time when Iduna tried to reach for her, she pulled away as if she'd been electrocuted.
"No! No, you cannot come back now. Not after I just—no!" Elsa was borderline hysterical.
"Please, let's talk about this. You don't even have to believe us, we could get DNA-tested and—," Iduna tried, but Elsa stopped her.
"No, I can't. Please, I—you n-n-need to go now. I need to—please," Elsa stuttered and stammered, her words made no sense. But it didn't matter, she had already managed to open the door, slither inside. She closed it, leaving them outside.
"Lotte, please," Iduna begged through the closed door.
When there was no answer, she burst into desperate tears, begging and pleading with her long lost daughter to come out and talk. Her pleas went unanswered, the door stayed closed. Agnarr had finally had enough, when Iduna was frantic enough to start slowly ramming her head against the barrier between her and Elsa.
He took Iduna into his arms, and forced her to look at him. "It will be alright. We'll go back to the hotel, give her some space, and wait until she's ready to come out, to figure this out."
"She's her, Agnarr, I know she is. I know my daughter when I see her. She's just so grown up now, not my little baby anymore," Iduna wailed, pressing her cheek against Agnarr's strong chest.
"I know, I know. We'll get her back, she just needs some time," Agnarr promised.
He started leading his wife towards the stairway. "Hey, you can't go now! We need to talk about what the hell just happened!" Anna shouted after her parents.
"Anna please, let's talk about this later, honey," Agnarr said. He left his daughter behind.
Unable to stop her parents from leaving, Anna just stood there hopelessly. She was so confused, and mad, frustrated with everything. She felt so angry towards her parents for never including her, she hated herself for not being able to put her foot between the door and force her parents to tell her everything. She was even mad at Elsa, for leaving and not figuring all this confusing stuff with her.
Slowly she slumped down against the wall, not knowing what else to do. She quietly pleaded with Elsa to just come out. They wouldn't even have to talk or anything, she just didn't want to be so alone anymore.
Without noticing, time had passed around Anna. She had barely moved an inch. People had moved past her, they had judged her with their eyes, never saying anything. Anna didn't care. She felt so empty, like the bottom of her life had just dropped away. She felt like her whole life was a lie. She wasn't sure she knew anything anymore.
Kristoff was kind of glad to know that his future parents-in-law would be long gone before he stepped inside the building. It wasn't that he didn't like them, he just had had the worst day and all he wanted was to cuddle with his girlfriend and watch an action movie. Preferably X-men or something like that.
He hated days like this one. He had been called in early that morning to work because a colleague was sick. Kristoff knew well enough that "sick" meant hungover, it had given his day a splendid start. Then they hadn't even been able to do any work. The crane had refused to start in the cold weather, and so he had wasted his whole day trying to work, instead of actually getting anything done. Well, at least he got paid, probably.
Kristoff's weary steps were dragging along the stairway while he made his way up the levels. When he arrived at the third floor, where his apartment was, he was met with a surprise. Anna was sitting next to his door, slumped against the wall. Her face had a faraway look to it. Kristoff couldn't help the dread building in his stomach. Why would Anna sit outside the door, instead of going inside? And where was Elsa?
"Anna?" Kristoff tried to gain her attention and managed. Anna blinked the glazed look away and trained her eyes to her boyfriend. "Why are you sitting in the hallway?"
"Uh." Anna frowned like she was trying to find the answer from some dark corner of her brain. "Has something happened?" Kristoff tried to prompt.
"Elsa," Anna said vaguely. Now she was looking past him into the emptiness, frown still on her face.
Kristoff waited for a moment for Anna to continue her sentence, lump forming in his throat, but she never did.
"What about Elsa?"
Then Anna seemed to snap out of her weird trance. She hid her face behind her hands and started making sounds like she was in pain. It wasn't exactly sobbing nor wailing, but something in between. "She shut the door," Anna managed to say, before hiding her face again.
"Okay," Kristoff said with a deep frown. "Why didn't you just open it? You have a key."
Anna looked like Kristoff had said something utterly stupid. She even looked slightly pissed off. Though Anna did have a quick temper, so she might've been a little angry. "She shut the door in my face!"
Kristoff was trying so hard to grasp the ends, but everything felt just so absurd. A simple "Why?" was all he could manage to ask.
"Why? Why! You know nothing, Kristoff!" Yeah, Anna was mad. Kristoff just had no idea why. "She's my sister, Kristoff! They said she's my sister. And all she did was run away like a scared little deer she is! Damn her for leaving me alone with this."
"Wait, what?" Kristoff asked, puzzled. "What do you mean that she's your sister?"
"She's Lotte. I didn't believe it either at first, but the picture, you couldn't miss it. And my mother, Elsa looks so much like my mother, and now I feel like an idiot for not having noticed it before," Anna explained. "She's my sister, who looks exactly like my mother, and I didn't see it."
"What? Elsa's not your sister. I've known her since childhood. Besides, she has never even been in England."
"I think that son-of-bitch got her when she was barely a child. I don't know how, but Kristoff, it is her, I just know it," Anna insisted.
"You are lying!" Kristoff smashed his fist angrily against the wall, a meter above Anna's head. Anna flinched from the sudden outburst, but Kristoff was too mad to care. "I brought you into my house, into my family, and this is how you thank me? You want to take my sister, my only sister? I was willing to share, I knew how you yearned for a big sister. But you can't have her to yourself. She isn't your sister; she will never be your Lotte! She's my Elsa, she's the girl I held in my arms when she was too weak to stand on her own, the girl I kept safe from the world that tried to destroy her! You can't come in now and say that she was yours all along, I won't allow it!"
Anna was surprised by Kristoff's outburst; she had never heard him yell before. With a calming tone she tried to appease him: "I'm not trying to take her away; I know how much she means to you. But don't you think that it would be better for her to have loving parents, instead of that monster she grew up with?"
"She has loving parents! You don't get to come here, and tell us how to live our lives!" Kristoff kept yelling at her, clearly upset about the accusations.
"Kristoff, I'm not trying to—," Anna tried to reason with her boyfriend, but he wouldn't let her. "Go!"
"What?" Anna asked, puzzled.
"Just go. I can't stand to look at you right now. I can't believe I was going to ask you to marry me. I should have seen this; I should have seen the kind of person you really are," Kristoff all but spat at her.
"What? Marry you? Kristoff, calm down. Let's talk about this," Anna pleaded, but Kristoff didn't want to hear it. "Go! Leave! I want to talk to my sister, alone!"
With that Anna finally got the message. She gingerly stood up, trying to find Kristoff's eyes, but he was looking away. Then she carefully moved past Kristoff, avoiding touching him. With a final sad glance towards her boyfriend, she disappeared down the stairway.
When Anna was gone, Kristoff let out an exhausted sigh. He let his forehead press against the wall, trying to calm himself down. Now all he had to do was face Elsa. Kristoff wasn't sure if he was ready for that at all. Ready or not, he had to go. He took a deep calming breath and opened the door with his keys.
The house was quiet. Only Sven came to greet him, and even he lacked his usual enthusiasm. Kristoff walked all the way to Elsa's door. Every creak the floor made, sounded so offending in the quiet apartment. Sven's heavy paws made a soft padding sound when he followed his owner.
Kristoff knocked on the door, but as usual, didn't get an answer. He put his hand on the handle, and was surprised to find the door unlocked. He slowly opened the door. The room was dimly lit, Elsa had closed all the curtains. The girl herself was laying on her bed, unmoving with her back turned towards the door. Kristoff didn't have to see his sister to know what she was doing. She was hugging her stuffed animal and stroking that old family picture, like she always did when she was upset to the brink of tears.
Marshmallow was laying on top of Elsa's blanket covered hip. The cat had been hissing ever since Kristoff had pulled the handle down to open the door, but Elsa paid no heed to it. Kristoff gingerly stepped closer to the bed, not letting his gaze wander from the cat. When Marshmallow showed the signs of jumping on him, he stopped.
"Elsa," Kristoff asked, but the girl didn't make any move to show she had heard. "I know what Anna's parents said to you. They're just upset for the loss of their child. You know that you belong to our family, wholly. What they said, doesn't matter. They're not in their right minds, they didn't—"
"They are my parents."
"—meant to upset you. I'm sure—," then Elsa's words sunk into Kristoff's brain "what?"
Elsa turned around, laying on her back, and looked towards Kristoff with an empty gaze. "They're my real parents."
Kristoff was confused. "How can you be so sure? Because of some old picture they showed you? Elsa, all the children look kinda similar, it doesn't mean anything. You don't have to believe—"
"Lavenders."
"What?"
"She smelled like lavenders. Iduna. She was so close I could smell the lavenders," Elsa explained with her faraway tone.
"Are you fucking serious? You are throwing your whole life into trash because some lady that claims to be your mother smells like lavender?" Kristoff could feel his earlier anger starting to rise again. "I despise them for making you so confused, but nothing they said is true. Elsa, you must know that."
Elsa sat up and looked straight into Kristoff's soul. "Do I know that? Why is it so hard for you to see that maybe everything isn't as it seems? I mean, doesn't it make way more sense this way? Who can do anything like Mr. Weselton did to their own daughter? Isn't that what they always whispered behind my back? Wouldn't it make more sense, if he wasn't my father after all, if he didn't do those things to his daughter?"
"Oh, so this is about that?" Kristoff huffed with a tone so offended that it made Elsa frown in confusion. "What?"
"My dad did the very best to always be there for you, take care of you, but that was never, ever enough for you, was it? Now there's some stranger at your door, claiming to be your father, and you couldn't be more eager to jump on that opportunity."
"You don't get to call him your father now. He was mine just as much as he was yours," Elsa snapped. She was sick and tired of Kristoff's moral high ground. Why did it always feel like he owned their parents and just shared them with Elsa out of his good will. He was just as adopted as she was, therefore just as tied to them as she was. How come she was still the odd one out?
"Hardly seemed like it. You couldn't even look him in the eyes. Not even once while he was still alive! He never asked for more, but even that was too much for you to handle," Kristoff spat out at her.
"Stop it, that's not fair," Elsa chimed in, weakly.
Kristoff didn't care about his sister's protests. "Nothing in this is fair. I mean, were you ever even sad about his death? I didn't see you there, crying with the rest of us. You stayed in your room throughout the funeral, alone. Were you too afraid we would see what you really felt? Were you actually just glad that there was one less scary man in the world?"
"Fuck you!" That came out with so much force that Kristoff was stunned quiet. "Of course I was sad! You don't get to tell me I was glad our father died! What the fuck is wrong with you?"
"Oh wait, cause I can tell you what's wrong with you. You're just a scared little boy, who's too afraid to actually live his life. You've dedicated your whole life to take care of mine, so you don't actually have to have any ambition of your own. I mean, you fell in love with the first girl who didn't call you out on that. Coincidence? I don't think so. Is that why you love Anna so, because she accepts you hiding from your own life behind my back?"
"Don't bring Anna into this, she has nothing to do with it!" Kristoff yelled. "And look who's talking. You can barely stand on your own against life's hardships, not without someone keeping you up. That job has fallen on me, ever since I rescued you from the streets like a stray kitten."
"How dare you! I never asked you to help me, ever! I'm not some kind of project for you to fix. And even if I was, what a shitty job you did. Gosh, I almost died in that attic when you didn't understand I needed some actual help. Let alone that time in the bar, where you were supposed to watch after me. I almost both got molested and died of alcohol poisoning. What a great guardian you are." Elsa knew those were sore points for Kristoff, that's why she never brought them into conversations. She didn't even blame Kristoff for them, she just couldn't seem to stop them from escaping from her mouth. She wanted to hit where it hurt, like he had hurt her with his words.
"Woah, okay! Maybe I should have never helped you at all. Would have saved us all so much trouble if I let you where you were. You were doing so well on your own. You would have liked that, wouldn't you?"
"Yes, I would have! I would have been so much better off without some man-child in my life, dictating my every step. I can't even breathe without you there telling me how to do it!"
"You know what? I hope they are your actual family! Then we can finally get rid of the whining pest in our corner. Go to live with them, and see how much better it is with your real family." Kristoff's words were full of venom. He was set to kill.
"I wish that too! I'm so sick and tired of you. Get off your high horse already, helping me didn't make you some kind of Jesus you seem to think yourself as."
"Fuck you Elsa, maybe I shouldn't have helped you at all. Maybe I should have just let you die out in the cold."
"Yeah, maybe you should have. At least then I wouldn't have to listen to you constantly playing the martyr."
"You know what? I don't even care anymore," Kristoff exclaimed and threw his arms into the air. "I Just can't stand looking at your ungrateful face a moment longer. Gosh, I hope you choke on that pride of yours someday. I'm going to my friend's now." And with that Kristoff turned around and started leaving the apartment.
"Yeah, good, leave! I don't want to see you ever again!" Elsa yelled after him with frustration, walking after him to the living room.
After the door closed behind Kristoff, Elsa picked up the closest object, which happened to be a couch cushion, and threw it as far as she could towards the direction Kristoff had been in a moment ago. She let out an angry shriek, but it didn't release the build up anger. She threw pillow after pillow until there were none left. She had to find something else to break her frustration with.
A/N Oh yes, I'm still alive, barely. This chapter was a struggle for me to finish because of my utter lack of motivation. Special thanks to my pal shealwaysdies, who let me out of my misery, and edited the whole thing for my lazy ass. Love ya! Please, go show some love to her amazing fics too, I personally adore her writings.
For all of you, who hanged on there during my absence, I truly appreciate you all. I think you have guessed this "plot twist" already. What can I say, I love foreshadowing. But I hope there's still some elements you were not expecting to read. And even if everything laid out just like you thought it would, I hope you still enjoyed the chapter. Let me know your thoughts, ideas, or the weather of your country, in the comment section, and we'll see after forever again. Have a great one!