A/N Yes, I know, it has been a for ever. I hope at least some of you are still here to read this chapter, so I didn't write it for nothing. I don't know why it was so hard for me to squeeze this one out, writer's block and busy life I guess. But here it is, hope y'all like it.

It had been the longest night. Kristoff and Anna had just sat on the living room couch, waiting for the phone ring. They were in Anna's apartment; Kristoff was too afraid to go to his own house. He didn't want to bring back the memories from the fight, or quite possibly see the marks of Elsa's suffering. It had always just been easier for him to escape and refuse to trigger those emotions.

It didn't help that despite driving back to the city as fast as they possibly could, they hadn't been allowed to see Elsa. The nurse had informed them that now Elsa needed rest more than anything else, and they would be informed more about her later. It was starting to near 8 am and they were yet to hear anything about the blonde. Either of them hadn't been able to sleep a wink.

"This is good thing, right? No news is good news. If she was doing badly, surely, they would have called us," Anna tried hopefully. Anything to bring Kristoff back from that dark place he seemed to be shrunk into. This only earned a mindless shrug; Anna took it as a win.

Then Kristoff took a deep breath in, and Anna was hopeful he would finally say something optimistic. That hope was crushed like a bug under newspaper when Kristoff let out desperate: "This is all my fault."

Anna hardly had time to open her mouth when Kristoff continued: "I told her I wish she would be gone, that I hope her pride will turn against her. I think it might just have. Anna, what if she dies because she was too proud to get help?"

"She did get help, Kris. She came to me and pleaded for it," Anna reminded.

"Yes, but too late. The day we fought, she didn't look well, Anna. I saw it, I was just too angry to notice it. I've been so selfish and stupid. I've known that she's ill, but I've been too stubborn to call her and ask if she's fine. I waited for her to call me. Can you imagine that, Anna, some stupid power game might have cost my sister's life?"

Kristoff seemed to be so close to tears that Anna gently put a hand on his shoulder and tried to comfort him: "We can't know that—" but Kristoff just shrugged her hand off, he wasn't ready to take her comfort.

"And the worst part is that I wished it, Anna! I wished for her to be hurt by her pride. Not just when we were fighting, but later as well. I sat on that couch, drinking and thinking about her possibly being ill at home and I remember thinking that I wish she's so ill that she regrets not asking my help. I might have killed my own sister; how can one live with that burden?"

"No one can cause that with only their thoughts. Elsa's sickness is not caused by your ill-thoughts, you should know that much. She's been ill for so long; no thoughts could ever change that to one way or another."

"Maybe it's not my thoughts we should blame, but the blame is mine nevertheless. I should have called her and ask; I could have done that much."

Anna took a frustrated breath before answering with slightly accusing tone: "Yes. You could have and you should have."

"Wow, jeez, thanks a lot, that helped. Glad you are here to help me feel better of myself."

"I'm not here to make you feel better."

"The fuck are you talking to me then? To make me feel even worse? In that case, you may leave."

"Oh, get over yourself, Kris. And stop this childish pity party. I'm not here to talk the burden of regret of your shoulders. You should regret what you did to her, but you should also learn from it and forgive to yourself. Punishing yourself from past deeds won't help her any. You can't change the past, you can only try to figure out how to make it up, how can you help her now."

"The way you treated Elsa, and even me, wasn't okay, and I haven't forgiven you that just yet. But I understand that we make mistakes when we are angry and tired. Now all that matters is to get our Elsa back to her feet. Do you honestly think that she's thinking about her grudge towards you, while laying on a hospital bed, fighting for her life? So, get over, whatever this self-pity is, and start thinking what she actually needs for now."

"You're still mad at me?"

"Now is not the time. You and me, we have time. Elsa might not. At the moment, she's the only thing that matters."

"Elsa is fighter, I've seen. She's the strongest person I've ever met, she'll be fine," Kristoff promised.

They both knew Elsa was hardly a strong person, at least not the way they thought about strenght, but Anna liked that lie and smiled weakly for the effort. It was nice that Kristoff was starting to find some of his optimism back. It had been so hard for Anna to try to hold both of them above the water.

Then, finally, the phone rang.

"Hello?"

It was 12 pm when they were finally able to enter the hospital. They were both relieved to hear that she wasn't in ICU, and dialysis had made her stable at the moment.

When they arrived in Elsa's room, she seemed to be in way worse condition than they had expected after hearing the doctor. Her skin was pale and waxy and greyish. She was just as skinny as she had looked at the night and the rash was still there, though it had tamed a lot. The worst part, though, was the absolute defeat on her face and body. She seemed to sink in the hospital bed from pure weight of the world.

She didn't even turn her head to look at them, did nothing to acknowledge them. They would have thought her sleeping, if it weren't for her open, glazed eyes staring into the nothingness. There had been days that Kristoff had worried that Elsa had given up, but he had never seen her like that. She just didn't look like she was there anymore and he truly hoped it was because of the drugs they had given her.

"Hey, Els." Kristoff greeted, when he reached the bedside. His movements were hesitant, and his girlfriend long forgotten behind him as his full attention was on Elsa. It felt like trying to near the most venomous snake on the planet. At any moment, she could strike.

But she never did. She didn't react even when he gently laid his hand on top of hers. And somehow, that hurt even more.

"We came here to see you," Anna said, after catching up with Kristoff and dragging a chair next to his. Kristoff glanced her in a way that seemed like he had truly forgotten she was there too.

Kristoff was a little relieved when Elsa didn't acknowledge Anna either, then guilt stung him for that. This was not the time or place for pettiness, Elsa's behavior was worrying. Why was Elsa acting like this, what was wrong with her?

"I would have liked to come faster, but they wouldn't allow us. They said you needed rest, and then the dialysis and–" Kristoff babbled until he had to stop himself, he was going nowhere with that. "I just would have liked to come faster."

Elsa still didn't react; Kristoff was getting more and more worried. "I haven't called mom yet. I didn't know if I should, if you would want her to know right now. I mean, I can call her right now if you want to."

"It doesn't matter anymore." Elsa's tone was dull and she didn't break her eye contact with the ceiling. The numb and defeated look on her face hadn't wavered, but at least she was with them now, kind of.

"What do you mean Elsa? What doesn't matter? If mom knows?" Kristoff asked, puzzled.

"Nothing, nothing matters anymore. I'm going to die." This time Elsa's voice broke a little and she blinked her eyes, like she was in pain. And probably she was, Kristoff just wasn't sure which one hurt her more at the moment, physical or mental pain.

Kristoff gave a light, comforting squeeze to her hand and Anna petted her blanket covered knee. "Oh Elsa, please don't say things like that. I know it must be hard and painful, but with a new kidney, you'll get better, I promise. You are young, and have healthy lifestyle, they'll give you a new one."

This time Elsa turned her head to look at him. Her eyes were reddish and tears were slowly pouring from the corners to her cheeks. "Don't you see?" she asked. "They can't just give me one. Kidneys don't grow in kidney trees. Somebody has to die so I can get one." Her voice was desperate. Like by pure need of kidney she could cause someone else's death.

"Then we wait. You'll get one eventually. Dialysis has kept many people alive while waiting for a transplant. It might be hard, but we'll get through it, like we always have." Kristoff rushed to explain. He almost felt like Elsa thinking like the way she was thinking, was a ticking timebomb that could explode any second.

"Not this time, Kristoff. Not this time," Elsa said, so sadly that Kristoff could feel the lump on his throat and tears in his eyes. And without noticing, he was squeezing Elsa's hand even harder.

"What do you mean: not this time? It can work, it will work. If these doctors can't help you, we'll find doctors that can!" Kristoff all but screamed, he was getting really worked up.

"It's not the doctors, Kris. It's me, I can't take it," Elsa explained, calmy but sadly.

"What? What do you mean? Of course, you can! You're strong Elsa, always been. You'll get through this; we'll get through this."

"I've talked with the doctor; my whole life would change. I couldn't do the things I enjoy, anymore. The dialysis would be three times a week, lasting about five hours. The wait time for the kidney could easily be years, if there ever would be a kidney match for me. And even if there was, it might still cause a reaction. I just can't go on like this anymore. I can't, I'm sorry." Elsa was almost sobbing at this point.

"You can't just give up like this!" Kristoff exclaimed.

"I can, and I have," she breathed out in frustration.

"Not like this. No, this isn't fair. You can't do this. Not like this," Kristoff shook his head, he was in shock. It wasn't fair. Elsa couldn't make a choice like that without her family.

"I'm sorry Kristoff, I just can't anymore."

"Is this because of the fight? Is this a game? Are you trying to break me? Are you punishing me? Is that it? This is some sick revenge?" Kristoff accused.

"No! For goodness' sake. This isn't a punishment or revenge. Do you really think I'm petty enough for that? Yes, what you said, hurt me, but I'm not going to kill myself over that. I'm not doing this because of you, I'm doing this because of me. I'm making a choice that is best for me," Elsa explained.

"Best for you? How can dying be the best option to anyone, ever?"

"Sometimes it's better than the alternative. Kristoff, the way I would be living, waiting for that transplant that might never come, wouldn't be living. It would be suffering. I rather end it here. What are those years worth, if I just live from hospital visit to another? In a constant pain. Kristoff, I don't want that, I can't handle that."

That was the moment Kristoff broke. His legs felt so weak that they were actually hurting. His whole body felt like collapsing at any second and the only thing holding him up anymore, was the chair he was sitting on. "I can't lose you."

Elsa smiled sadly and reached her bony hand on Kristoff's cheek. He leaned against it. "You can, and I think we have come to the point you have to."

At this moment Anna broke into sobbing so loud that she couldn't be ignored anymore. She had wanted to give the siblings their moment, but she just couldn't keep herself composed anymore. She laid her forehead against Elsa's covered shins and cried. "You can't leave, not when I have just found you."

"I'm so sorry. I don't want to leave either. I just can't live life like that, I can't."

"You have to Elsa, please. I can't say goodbye now. Not yet, please. Just a year, please. Please," Anna pleaded. She wasn't ready to let go her newfound sister. Not now, not this way.

"I'm sorry."

Anna understood the meaning, and cried even harder against Elsa's feet. They let her cry, knowing no words could help with her grief. And to be honest, Elsa and Kristoff both had little comfort to share. Elsa softly played with her hair, but it was more for her own need to stimulate herself than comforting Anna. The silence was weighting the room. All was said and done and everyone felt too exhausted and sad to talk anymore.

"I think I should call mom, she needs to know, now," Kristoff broke the silence. Elsa nodded, agreeing. But then she turned her attention back to Anna's hair.

Kristoff left the room and the girls stayed in the silence. Seconds turned into minutes, and nothing happened. Kristoff didn't come back after five minutes, nor ten, nor fifteen. But neither girl seemed to care. Elsa knew he hadn't left; he just needed some time. And so did everyone else. Unfortunately, there just wasn't that much time to left. They were talking about days, possibly weeks, but no more than a month.

After some time more, Anna finally raised her head and wiped away some tears and snot from her face. "I think I should probably go to find Kristoff and go home."

"You should," Elsa answered. They stayed in the pressing silence for a moment.

"Can I hug you?" Anna asked hesitantly. So much had happened lately, making this all so hard, and yet it felt to be so far away.

"Yes," Elsa whispered.

Then Anna didn't hesitate anymore. She wrapped her arms around the delicate body on the bed, and hugged her like her life depended on it. Elsa couldn't find strength to match the power Anna had in the hug, but she gave her best.

"I hope this isn't the last hug I'll give to you," Elsa whispered sadly into Anna's ear.

Anna just tightened the hug, almost crushing Elsa. "It won't be. I won't let it be. I'll come back tomorrow, and the day after that and the day after that. Every day, and I'll hug you and you'll hug me, until I don't know how to breathe without your arms around me," Anna said wetly against Elsa's neck.

Elsa felt like she needed to say something, but she didn't. And so, Anna finally let her go and left. Elsa felt so cold and alone then.

When Agnarr opened the door of their hotel room, he didn't know what he expected to see, but it wasn't his daughter, eyes red from excessive crying, for sure.

Before he could open his mouth, his daughter had wrapped her arms around him, and was crying uncontrollably. Iduna came to see what was happening at the door. And when she saw her distraught daughter, sobbing against her father's shirt, she didn't know what to do.

Agnarr pulled Anna inside the room, and Iduna closed the door. Then they tried to calm her enough to make her talk. And finally, it worked and Anna started taking deep breaths, readying herself to speak.

"Ma, pa, you have to help her. You have to, I need her. You can't let her die, please, don't let her die."

"Let her die? Anna, sweetie, whose dying?" Agnarr tried with a calming tone.

"Elsa. Please pa, don't let her die," Anna cried,

By hearing that name, Iduna went white as snow, and Agnarr could feel his own head spinning like a carousel. "Anna please, tell us what has happened." And Anna told.