I don't own fire emblem.
Summary: In which Hubert does his job and reminds a certain someone that actions have consequences. Also, we're out on the town again! Yay.
Log 34: Skirting the Issue
Hubert usually liked his job.
Normally, it means getting to sneak about places getting valuable information for the greater good of the adrestian empire. This was not one of those sorts of missions.
With Edelgard almost recovered for the moment, Caspar had taken this as his chance to drag Linhardt off to have a whole bunch of fun. Which meant he had to go and grab them. But not before sneaking a peek for their next mission. Sure, this wasn't the strategy he would've gone with. But who was he to argue with the most powerful woman in all of Fodlan?
Though, this did give him a chance to pick up the latest stuffed bear from Teddy Workshop - this one a succubus dressed... drumroll please.
Our drum roll comes courtesy of Nyx, who's currently recovering from the hellscape that is Bernadetta's mess. If anything, makes one wonder if that fuckhead is playing some long con in trying to sabotage his own country's army because he doesn't want something to happen. Wouldn't really surprise me. Oh right. The bear.
They were dressed modestly. But that just brings up a new question. Seriously, why the fuck do we live in an age where everything is within our fingertips, but all the succubi still have to look like they're wannabe pornstars? If anything, you should see far more variations in the designs of those creatures. But you would be wrong, especially with all the porn you can binge without much thought. Sorry. My wife pointed that out to me and I couldn't get it out of my head.
"Ahem." the dark mage announced, tapping his two targets. Currently at a McDonnies, they were munching down on some hamburgers and fries. Well, Caspar was. Linhardt was asleep. As usual. "I don't think Edelgard or the professor wouldn't be too happy to see you two slacking off like this."
Caspar chuckled and gave Linhardt a tap. The scholar sprung to life, focus split between his boyfriend and Hubert for the moment.
"Yes?" he greeted, glare just registering to him at the moment. "Wait. Where am I?"
Dang Caspar. Not only did you drag your friend off, you didn't even tell him where you were going. That's not very nice.
"McDonnies, Linhardt." Caspar explained, shoving a burger in the scholar's direction. Grabbing hold, he made short yet elegant work on the meal. Then we're back over to Hubert. "Someone's being a buz-"
Hubert's hands slammed into the table. Every part of him just wanted to grab hold of his classmate's neck and squeeze till all the air left his stupid body. The next coming months could make or break all of Fodlan. Why couldn't this idiot get that? What part of this made zero sense to Caspar.
"I am not a buzzkill." the dark mage muttered, watching his teammate's gazes return to his face. A sigh followed. Oh boy. Someone has some baggage. Kind of like that one girl. "I just want you two to understand that your training needs to come first. These moments might be fun and all, but things aren't going to stay like that."
Hubert let his focus turn to the bear at his side. If he could make the call, none of this would need to happen. But he wasn't the one who could do that. The only one he could control was himself. Suggestions could be made to others, but that was it.
"You're coming with me to grab some things for our next mission." the dark mage continued, grabbing what appeared to be the fries. He had better, but they were more than enough to get his energy back. "Then it's back to Gareg Mach. Is that clear?"
Both boys nodded, getting up from their table and headed for the exit. Hubert followed right behind. He did make sure to grab their trash and shove it in a garbage bin.
"Where are we going first?" Caspar called out, getting a chuckle. Even more so when he found Hubert at the door. Either he's slow or Hubert can teleport. I'm not sure which.
"A costume shop." Hubert answered,en door now open for the moment. The pair head on through, making a break for it the moment they crossed over. Or tried too. Kind of hard to run when you're dragging a tall person. "Don't make me bring our the child leashes."
Caspar stopped, letting his 'guardian' follow right behind. Which makes this a perfect opportunity to take in this particular part of town. Everything looks pretty well-built, with little in the way of less savory aspects. Like seriously, the last time Nyx and I were in the capital city of Nohr, a wyvern tried to sell us it's own tail. Said tail was still attached to its body. It claimed otherwise. Then my wife (bless her heart), blasted the tail off and then tried to pull a five-digit discount. That did not go over well with the local authorities. Had to be bailed by that pile of dung - Azama. Seriously, how the heck is he a retainer? Sure, Setsuna is an airheaded bimbo at both the best and worst times for Hinoka. But put a bow in her hands and she'll get the job done. Eventually.
Our trio made a left, coming upon the titular costume shop.
"So… what are we getting here?" Linhardt chimed, watching Hubert do his best evil laugh. "Or do we not want to know?"
A head shake. If I were them, I guess I would be scared? Though, I don't really mind this whole 'dress-up' stuff. Nyx is an absolute nightmare to get into anything other than her usual clothes. What? I had to have Oboro hold you down in order to get your maid dress on for Forrest's party. Sorry. I got quite a bit off-topic there.
Throwing caution to the wind, Caspar pulled the door of the shop open, watch Linhardt and Hubert step on in. Compared to the plain exterior, the interior was filled to the brim with all sorts of skirts and frocks hanging on plain metal racks.
"Are you sure this is the right place?" Caspar continued, the smile on Hubert's face now even wider. He and Linhardt had walked right into that one.
"It is." Hubert explained, gaze split between his two colleagues. "You created quite a problem last week, jumping the gun and stealing Mercedes's car. Which isn't even going into trying to sell off the heir of the Leicester Alliance. Do you realize what could happen if they found out?"
Caspar gulped. It was pretty clear what the answer was for the moment. Not that it mattered for the moment.
"War?" he muttered and silence fell over the shop. Hubert took a step over, hand to his ear. Guess someone wants a much clearer answer. "War with the alliance!"
"Much better." Hubert answered, heading up to the counter. "Here's the list of sizes. I would like a black maid dress in my size,"
The shopkeeper nodded, gaze on Linhardt and Caspar for the moment. Mostly because they were trying to hide
"Green and Blue for them. The rest of the colors are listed on the sheet." Hubert continued, taking a deep breath. "Yes, I'm aware that some of those are written are male sizes. Our teacher's boss is an asshole."
Nonetheless, the shopkeeper nodded. Heading to the back, they eventually return with the dresses - ten in , they do hand off the black one to our titular dark mage. Which in turn, means a trip to the dressing room. All while his two companions went up to grab their maid dresses. Victorian-style, with thick boots in place of the stereotypical heels. Just in case things went south and they actually had to fight in these costumes.
"Not bad." he thought, digging his phone and plush out. Sure, Ferdinand was going to see this eventually. But a little sneak peek couldn't hurt.
Hubert von Vestra logged in.
Hubert von Vestera: Ferdinand, you there?
I am Ferdinand logged in.
I am Ferdinand: Yes Hubert?
Hubert von Vestra posted a picture.
I am Ferdinand: Oh my. Let me guess. A hint to our next mission?
Hubert von Vestra: Maybe. You'll be wearing one soon enough.
I am Ferdinand: Oh. I'll take your word for it.
I am Ferdinand logged out.
Hubert Von Vestra logged out.
While Ferdinand hadn't noticed the plush. Hubert was fine with that. Just a little surprise for when he got back. Which made the possible surprise even more delectable when he eventually saw it. Nonetheless, he made his exit back into the main part of the shop. Thankfully, both Caspar and Linhardt had decided to stay around for once,
"Ready to go?" Hubert inquired, getting a nod from his two companions. Picking up the rest of the maid's dresses, he heads to the door. His companions follow right behind.
Notes:
If we're going to do a maid's cafe, we're going to need maid costumes for everyone. Yes, even the boys.
.
Next Time: Byleth has a relaxing day off.