still in europe! this is prewritten so replies will be back next chapter,i think?
EDIT FROM THE CZECH REPUBLIC: what the heck is with these time differences god i honestly can't tell the US time anymore. send help
as always, i do not own the selection nor hetalia. these belong to kiera cass and himaruya hidekaz respectively.
The next day was bright enough for a winter's morning, the sun slightly covered by fluffy clouds and the fact that Sakura was leaving the next day. She had asked the others to carry on with their day as if it was normal, but had had a quick word with Alfred to make sure that everyone, especially Emma, were busy and were able to keep their mind off things.
So since the weather was cool enough, and a little snow had fallen but nothing had frozen over yet, Alfred went to the stables with multiple people that day, starting with Emma straight after breakfast.
Butterscotch was also a perfect excuse for him to distract himself. He secretly hoped that he could get in a conversation with Arthur today, but he decided to start off early and also give Sakura some time to pack before she had her turn.
"I've asked the maids for some food for a picnic!" Emma called, waving happily as he stood in the stables. "I've even got a cloth and everything, look!"
"We'll go to a paddock where there's a raised platform so we can let Butterscotch run free for a little while we eat, all right with you?" he asked as she linked her arm with his and walked over to her.
"That would be amazing - oh my goodness, she's so pretty!" Emma squealed as they approached her stall. Butterscotch whickered softly; her reddish tinged tail flicking from side to side as Alfred opened the gates and started to arrange her tack. "I almost forgot the stench of the stables for a little while."
"Butterscotch, right?" Emma said, bending down to peer at the tag on the door. "She does look like the candy! Is that where it came from?"
"Aw, she doesn't really look as much as butterscotch-y than she used to. I ate a lot of sweets when I was still a kid, so that's probably why."
"Is she difficult to look after?" Emma asked, tiptoeing around her stall. "She's pretty big, isn't she?"
"Well, honestly the stable hands do lots of the work, including when I'm busy with Deciding stuff or something the Jack wants me to look at. But yeah, it takes a while to groom her mane and all that stuff. It's worth it, though, if you're a royal and have bunches of free time, it takes it up."
They shared a laugh as Alfred checked the girth again and Emma leaned into the horse's soft mane. Butterscotch only blinked once, recognizing Emma as a new person,
"She's a little rosy gray, I guess. And you really can't help it!" Alfred said, grinning. He pulled the bridle over her soft ears as a finishing touch. "But, yeah, her tail's still kinda rosy but she was a lot redder when I first got her as a filly. She even used to have a bigger blaze on her forehead when she was little!"
He placed a set of steps on the side of his horse. "Uh, she's ready to go now, so do you want to get another horse or just…?"
"Oh, hmm, if it's not a problem can you give me a lesson on her?" Emma asked coquettishly, shifting her weight from side to side and giving him a coy smile. "I'm not good with horses at all."
Alfred swallowed audibly, and nodded, gently straightening out the saddle before beckoning to her and helping her up the steps. By the Fates, did everyone have a better hold onto Alfred than Alfred himself?
"Hey, I'll take the basket, all right?" he said, taking it from her grasp. He handed her the helmet, and she strapped it on as he did the same, the familiar click sounding as he traced the small bump of the spade engraved onto it.
"Okay, so put your boot on the first stirrup – yeah, that's right! Push it up a lil. I'll hold onto ya if you need to, but hold onto the reins so she doesn't run off!"
He took a deep breath before pushing the smartly painted stable doors open.
After a few more minutes of fumbling with the leather straps and Emma running her hands across Butterscotch's soft hair, they managed to troop out into the greenery before the sun got any higher in the sky.
"All right up there?" Alfred asked, adjusting the coarse leading rope between his hands. "Sorry if the gloves are a little too big on you."
"I can see everything from up here!" Emma cried excitedly, although he noticed her let go of the reins with one hand and tug her jacket a little closer. "How cool is this? Hasn't anyone been like this before?"
He quickly fell silent, pressing his mouth closed into a thin line before shaking his head a little and walking on, gently pulling on her lead. Emma seemed to notice, thank the Fates, and the pair of them kept on going quietly.
He didn't want his sadness, his weaknesses, to show to anyone. This wasn't how the competition was supposed to work! It was supposed to be him finding and knowing who meant the most to him, not him being so confused. It was a time for the country, and all of Cards, to see what he was made out of. And here he was, hurt and upset about an argument with one person.
He subconsciously ran his thumb over the slightly fraying rope, lost in thought. He was supposed to know who his queen was at first sight – at least, that was what his father told him about his mother and his grandmother with hers - but why did the people he loved fight with him so bitterly? Why did they not talk to each other for weeks, despite being in love? Why did Alfred sit out there yesterday night doing nothing, while listening to Arthur's voice call out in the dark for him? Fates, why was he such a coward for a hero?
"Alfred!" Emma's call jolted him out of his thoughts, and panicked blue eyes found his horse standing uncertainly behind him, her tail flicking from side to side as her ears angled. Emma didn't seem fearful, but her grip on the reins was trembling. "You, um, forgot something!"
"Uh, I'm sorry, dear," he said quickly, scooping up the rope a little tighter to gain back control and quickly patting her mane. "I was a little distracted."
"No kidding!" she teased, sticking out her tongue. "You set?"
"Yeah," he said, trying to keep his voice less distant. "Just a little further on, and we'll start ridin', or have a picnic first. Keep that helmet on just in case, okay?"
After a few more minutes, Alfred could feel her shift uncomfortably on her saddle, and decided that the silence was just weird for a supposed date. They made small talk about the weather, and there was another bit of quiet before she spoke as he opened the paddock gates.
"Freddie…are you okay? I mean, do you know what you're going to do to finish this? You seemed like you really wanted to."
He took a deep breath before nodding, tugging a little on Butterscotch's lead before pausing to untie it. He'd pull off her saddle once they were all settled.
"I think it would be a good time to have that picnic."
"Thanks a lot," Alfred said slowly, "it's just a lot of things to take in at one time, I guess."
"You're right," Emma said, shaking out her hair before turning sharply to face him, a little embarrassed. "I mean, you said before you liked that I told you exactly how I felt…"
"That's not going anywhere, I don't think!" he snorted mockingly at himself, but shook his head. "As this competition starts ending and I start to make really hard choices about who should leave-"
"Sakura?"
"Sakura." he said, walking a little slower. Butterscotch nudged him with her nose, and he shook his head, almost dismissively, and continued.
"I'm sorry." she said after a little, reaching into the basket and fishing out a small sandwich, popping it into his mouth. "There's so many things that give you stress that I didn't know about."
"…" Alfred said nothing. Well, that, and the fact that he was chewing noisily at the sandwich he was just fed.
"I thought this was going to be easy," Emma sighed, stroking Butterscotch's mane as they turned the corner. "I mean, same! I thought you would just know, and in an instant the competition would be over, and I thought it would only be one in thirty chance, but I decided to take it anyway-"
"Em, my dear, you're rambling again," he said. "Is there something you want to ask me or tell me specifically?"
The two of them stayed silent for a bit, Butterscotch's hooves on the sandy surface the only sound in the paddock. Emma cleared her throat, brushed her headband up and spoke.
"Freddie – Alfred…are you sure you want to end this with someone who loves you?"
He jolted, his gaze snapping towards hers with a gaze of bewilderment. "I'm sorry, Em, but what-"
"Oh, thank goodness," she sighed, rubbing her hands around her arms. "So it's just Marianne, right? I thought it was only you all the time and all your fault."
The heat had all rushed to Alfred's mortified face. "What about her?"
"Freddie, everyone knows! Even Sakura saw you together and told." Emma's expression was anguished. "Don't tell me you're thinking of marrying her! Even if she can satisfy you, she doesn't care for you like that!"
"Emma, you're not supposed to eavesdrop on my private interactions with the others," he said awkwardly. "But I can't say, for sure-"
"She's just trying to manipulate you!" Emma burst out, causing Butterscotch to flinch for a moment. "Even if she's the prettiest person on the planet and can spread her legs like a pro, behind that face and makeup is a manipulative bitch who only cares about herself! She doesn't care about the rest of us, or even you! It's only the crown she cares about! She'd trample on your heart and murder you if that's what she truly wanted."
"Hey, you'll frighten my horse," Alfred hissed self-consciously; this conversation was making him horribly uncomfortable. "And Emma, I really respect your opinion but-"
"Freddie," she said passionately, the basket of food forgotten. "I know you're in love with someone else. And it's not her. It could be me or Alfonso or even Sakura, but you're not letting her go for a reason. Come on, if you want to end this competition with someone that loves you, she's not it."
He fell silent again. Gently tugging on the reins to bring Butterscotch forward, Emma surveyed his tight expression for a moment before falling quiet and looking to the side.
"At least, that's what I think. If she means more to you, or your relationship is nothing but pure, I mean-"
"No…no, you have a point," he said delicately, also avoiding her gaze. "Y-you're right about some people meaning more to me than others. But I'm not sure what to do."
"Okay, then why is she still here?" Emma questioned, although her tone wasn't as patronizing as Alfred expected. He had dodged her question about exactly why she was still here, but it seemed like it was unavoidable now.
"My…my advisors like her," he blurted, his grip on Butterscotch's rope tightening instinctively. "They say she's willing to do whatever they say as long as she's the queen. But that gives them more power, and that's what they want, and, uh-"
"Oh!" she said, in a tone of understanding. Alfred internally huffed a sigh of relief so she wouldn't suspect anything. He didn't need to bring her into unnecessary danger. "So why do you want to keep her just because your advisors like her?"
"Uh, their opinions are pretty important since Spades just has an official Ace and Jack," he said hesitantly. "So there's that."
"I'm sorry, but that's just really weird to understand. Stuff their opinions, it's you that's supposed to choose!" Emma said, but Alfred shot her a look in warning, and for a moment the two of them walked around the paddock, just breathing in the winter air.
"I guess it is hard to understand," he said after a while. "It's really a lot more complicated compared to what even I expected. But I still want to choose someone because I love them, not just because the public likes them or my advisors do."
"That's the point of the whole process, right?" Emma said, her tone hardening. "Freddie, you shouldn't marry someone just because other people like them; in the end it's your opinion who matters the most. To us as well, some people you love might feel cheated just because the person you pick was chosen for you."
"I can't just stuff their opinions, Emma! There are a lot of things that practically everyone expects of me. The Jack, the Ace, the advisors, and the people! I can't do this with nothing in mind. And I'm sorry for that. If you really want to be my partner, then you're going to have to be a queen. These responsibilities come with being one!" Alfred said, trying his best to keep his volume down as to not startle his horse.
Emma's expression furrowed into anger for a moment, but she nodded tightly, perusing her lips together. For a moment, though, she looked up into the sky, as if she had seen something. Alfred tried his best to not stare at her.
He needs your support now, girl. Help him out.
"Oh – fine! All right, then," she said, straightening her dress and beaming at him to Alfred's surprise. "I'm just trying to protect you after all, Freddie. Call me if you need anything…"
I don't need protecting, he thought bitterly, but walked on, watching a little perplexed as she intertwined her fingers within his. It was a little calming, but he still couldn't fight the worm of uneasiness all the same. For someone so brave and outspoken, he wasn't sure that Emma would have accepted it that easily.
So what had made her so accepting all of a sudden?
"He's a very well trained steed, isn't he? How many hands high?" Alfonso asked cheerfully, removing his riding gloves and giving the grey horse a pat. "He's a little taller than the one we have at home."
"Actually, it was kind of interesting you chose that grey one," Alfred admitted, stroking him behind the ears.
"Wait, really?" Alfonso asked cheerfully. "Why?"
He opened his mouth to reply, but as Arthur's smiling face flashed in front of his mind, he quickly shook his head and brushed it off as just a personality thing. Alfonso grinned, but there was a hint of uneasiness that made Alfred feel a little guilty.
"So, um…you've had your own?" he asked quickly, half intrigued and half wanting to brush away the subject. "Did you even have space?"
"Ah yeah! My family live in the west of the outer circles, so when I got my break from the holding facilities and visit them, I get to look after her."
"What's her name?" Alfred asked, hanging up Butterscotch's bridle.
"Lisbon*," Alfonso said fondly. "You'd have loved to meet her. She's a real dark horse, if you know what I mean."
Alfred caught onto the pun, and the two of them laughed as they clasped hands, a little to his surprise, and walked out of the stables.
"You, uh, okay with this? I thought you wanted to keep us more secretive…"
"Hey, I'm tired of making you wait for my affection," Alfonso said, flashing him a sheepish smile. "And now stuff is so close, I figured that I should make a move soon."
"Oh, but you've made plenty of moves," Alfred laughed, tugging playfully at his small ponytail – it had grown out throughout these few months. "At least I knew first hand."
Alfonso grinned, rubbing at his mole before gesturing towards Alfred's cowlick, which caused the other boy to back up, surprised but not scared at all. They continued fooling around until they reached the gates of the palace, where a maid was waiting.
Her skin was like dark satin against her outfit and the sun, and her brown eyes looked intensely at the two of them before she spoke.
"Your Highness," she said, sweeping into a deep bow.
"M-Miss Anna," Alfred said, dipping his head in greeting. His expression was one of surprise, one that Alfonso didn't quite understand. He knew this maid?
"Sir Arthur wishes to see you." she said, not mincing her words with a distinct confidence. "I understand if you are currently on a date with Sir Alfonso, but if you could do it before dinner that would be very helpful."
"Oh, uh, no, it's fine. Alfonso…is it okay if we end it here today? Sorry to cut it short."
"No, no, that's fine!" Alfonso said, patting his shoulder in reassurance. "Thanks for escorting me back in, I had a great day. Say hello to Butterscotch for me when you see her again."
"See you and stuff," he said in way of greeting, watching him go with the maid with a little smile on his face.
After they had both disappeared down the corridor, he let out a sigh and rested against the wall, his face in his hands.
"I thought…he really does love Arthur, doesn't he," he said, laughing almost sadly to himself. "Was I just kidding myself the whole time?"
And it's really hard to admit this, but it hurts. It really does, now. But again, hey, have any of us stood a chance the moment they met for the first time? I knew it. Damn you, Alfonso, for getting attached.
"…but is it such a bad thing I fell for him? Is it all just my fault?"
You know the answer to that yourself, little one. We can't control his heart, only he'll know where it lies.
"All right," he said to the Fate he was talking with. "Er, thanks a lot."
*lisbon is the capital of portugal, so real life reference. it's a really nice place, so when you have the chance to visit it, please do!
sorry no replies! i'll be sure to do them when i'm back from europe :)
reviews, favourites and follows are what will keep me writing, so please go ahead and leave them!