i'm back! HK is super hot, and i made a terrible mistake of wearing two extra coats gah.

funny story: i misjudged time again and that's why this is a day late. pls bear with me

But finally, this is up! sorry, but 12+ hours of long haul flight has taken something out of me. it's replaced it with jet lag, but hopefully i'll be back to normal next week, so for the meantime, enjoy :)

as always, i do not own the selection nor hetalia. these belong to kiera cass and himaruya hidekaz respectively.

Why would he want to see me now?

A million thoughts rushed through Alfred's mind as he followed Anna to what was presumably Arthur's room. To his surprise, she led him back out into the gardens, and it was a few moment before he realized the path was leading to.

It was leading to the outhouse in the back of the blue hydrangeas, and Alfred felt his hands go clammy in nervousness. He shoved them in his pockets, anxious that the maid wouldn't worry or mock him, but she paused at the opening of the rusted gate, scuffling her shoes in the cold dirt.

"Your Highness…I suspect he would want to see you alone. If it is no problem, I assume that you know the way there. May I take my leave now?"

"Yes, Miss Anna," he said, feeling a little relieved at the fact that they would be alone.

Before they parted, though, she gave him a direct look that made him feel a little worried. Was something seriously wrong?

"Your Highness…it is not my place to speak, but I must say that Sir Arthur truly cares for you, no matter what his actions and his speech say of him. Please look after him, and listen to what he has to say."

Stunned, he bowed as she curtseyed, and slowly pushed open the gate with trembling fingers, pausing to brush some invisible snow from his glasses.

There was no way he would allow himself to run now.

"Fates, where has Anna gone off to?" Arthur muttered to himself, sticking his bare hands into Alfred's jacket. Despite the cold weather, his maid had asked him to come outside to the outhouse to see some surprise that she had prepared. He had been pleasantly surprised by her gesture, guessing that she had picked up on his behavior the week prior. Now it was heading closer and closer to Christmas, he just felt on edge. With his family yet to reply (maybe the post wasn't as good as he thought), no possible word from Kiku and his Hearts Deciding, and the barely maintained silence between Alfred and him…he hated to admit it to himself, but he missed him. A lot more than he thought he would. He missed those blue eyes so much, how they used to bore into his own, coupled with a sunny grin and the light pressure of their lips meeting, Arthur's hands gently curled against his chest as Alfred brought him closer – almost as if they were two puzzle pieces fitting together.

"No," he said, making sure he was completely alone and then letting his right leg swing loose, on the chair where they had first met months ago. It felt like forever to him, though. Only a handful of months ago, they didn't even really know each other, and here he was, risking his family's favour for a boy he truly loved.

"If he doesn't feel the same way, then I can't let my thoughts be like this anymore," he said firmly to himself. "Stuff this, I'll go find Anna."

He flung open the outhouse door, steadying himself to go back outside into the cold by slipping on that bomber jacket-

-coming face to face with Alfred's shocked expression, his eyes sparking for a moment behind those frames.

Arthur's mouth fell open, and he stumbled back a few paces, his heart now hammering in his chest. He felt like a deer caught in the headlights.

Wh-what in the Fates' name is he doing here?

"Alf-Alfred?" he stuttered, his fingers frozen from where they were placed to push open the door. Unfortunately, this meant that his grip was both comfortably and uncomfortably close to the other boy's chest. Arthur expected some sort of negative emotion to fill his mind; they hadn't been so close to each other for what seemed like an eternity! But strangely enough, there was only the low buzz of romantic tension, which made him feel more like gripping his shirt and pulling him into a gesture of affection that he had needed these last days.

"Arthur," he began in reply, sounding a little startled but not really as surprised as Arthur thought he would sound like. It was almost as if he knew but didn't…!

Anna. Was she on this the whole time? Quickly realizing that she must have meant this when she talked about cheering him up, he let his ungraciously open mouth snap shut, and he straightened himself, shifting his weight and trying his best to not look at that irresistible face.

But before he could do or say anything, Alfred rushed forward, so close that their noses were almost touching – well, not to account for the small height difference, of course – but that definitely was not what Arthur was expecting, so his mouth unceremoniously fell open again.

"I'm – I'm sorry!" they both blurted at the same time, their cheeks flushed and their hearts beating at a million miles per hour. After a few awkward mumbles and Alfred nervously adjusting his tie, Arthur silently motioned for him to go first.

"I'm sorry," Alfred said thickly, coming to a hesitant stand again before Arthur. "Please, really, I am! And I – I'll try to understand if you wanna leave, but-"

"I'm, I'm sorry too-" Arthur said, his head lifting to meet his gaze for the first time in what felt like weeks. As he said it, his heart seemed to lift – these were words he'd been meaning to say for days now.

"Really, I am. I didn't mean for things to go wrong that night." Arthur insisted. He didn't know what else to say, honestly.

"Neither did I!" Alfred exclaimed, his voice rising higher with every sentence. "I dunno what was coming out of my mouth half the time, but I was just so overwhelmed. But you shouldn't be the one apologizing, after all I've done. C-Can you forgive me?"

"I remembered what you said last night." Arthur said quietly after a moment. Alfred's face had gone pale, and his eyes hung onto his every word. "I, er, gave up the money. F-for my family, for the compensation. I'm not here for anything else, I promise. Even if we had problems...I hoped."

Alfred's eyes stilled in shock, and Arthur furrowed his thick eyebrows in confusion. Isn't that good enough? What else-

"You didn't have to, Arthur…that's a lot you're saying-"

"I care for you," Arthur said. It felt like the words were soaring out of his system, a heavy pressing on his throat that had been there ever since that night outside his bedroom. "Really, I do. And I mean it when I say that I'm sorry. I asked Yao about it the other night, and I've written to my family. You don't have to doubt me anymore."

Alfred's breath hitched. Something about apology was something he was expecting, but not this. He hadn't expected anyone to give anything other than their affection to him, but this, this was something else. It was almost like a rush of warmth in the cold winter they were in now. He felt his cheeks heat, taken off guard, his heart filling with a soft emotion. One of laughter and green eyes, soft piano music and rose gardens, teasing voices and blue flowers.

Was this…was this love?

"S-say something, idiot! You've been standing there with your mouth opening and your cheeks red for too long!" Arthur protested, folding his arms harshly.

He couldn't help but beam like a fool would at the sound of Arthur's hot and cold voice hitting his ears once more. I guess I can't say this as well as he did, he thought internally as he brought Arthur tightly into a hug, feeling the other boy's hushed breath against his cheek. He was feeling so overwhelmed that to his surprise, he felt tears fall down his face, but thank the Fates Arthur didn't seem to realize.

"Thank you," he mumbled into his shoulder, before he lost it to these feelings. "I know there's nothing I can do as of right now to reassure you I'm here for you, but I'll be doing my best. I'm sorry it took so long, but...thank you for being brave for me."

A chuckle from Arthur's chest resonated with Alfred, only making that feeling stronger. It only made him smile that much more.

The exact same feeling had risen in Arthur's chest as well as he buried his nose in Alfred's hair again, the smell of apples and a little leather registering into his mind. When Alfred pulled back with a grin and started to gingerly lean in, the feeling bloomed a little more as he leaned closer as well, his mouth gently rounding and Alfred's hands pulling on the sleeves of his jacket around his shoulders as th-

What? Arthur looked up in shock, sharply pulling away from Alfred's mouth to stare at his body, his arms raised. The other boy's eyebrows raised with concern, but that wasn't the matter. Where had that squeezing sensation come from?

It came back like a roar of a heat wave, the choking, tightening sensation suffocating in his chest. He let out a cry and pushed Alfred away from him, trying his best to protect him, was this what Yao meant by strong affection?

"Arthur!" Alfred called, surprised. He didn't know where that had come from, but maybe this was the bursts of magic they had encountered back with Leon? He made a mental note to ask about him soon. "Arthur, Artie, calm down! I'm here."

"Get…get away!" Arthur said tightly, easing out of his grip. "I'm sorry, but it's not – I'm not safe now!"

Well shit, it is one of those things Yao mentioned before. Alfred backed off a little, but in his mind he was conjuring up a small spell of his own. Being the prince of Spades – no, not just because of that. It was because he was Arthur that he wouldn't just leave him to deal with this by himself.

Before anything else could happen though, the world was fixed into time again. He felt himself freeze in slow motion; the words simmering in his head completely wiped from his mind.

Then Arthur slowly looked up at him, with those glossy, jade eyes a little distorted as if they were waves crashing upon a shore, and Alfred lost all his coherent thoughts and pulled him tight (at least, as fast as Arthur's burst of magic would let him), burying the other boy's head underneath his chin, his mouth going dry. He was overwhelmed by the burning instinct to protect him, keep him safe, and be his hero.

As fast as it came, though, they were shocked back into normal passing time, and Arthur let out a gasp, drawing back and panting. He fell onto the rope bound swing, covering his face with his hands. Alfred stood there; feeling a little winded for a few moments, then knelt down and tenderly clasped Arthur's hands in his own, revealing his face.

"H-hey…" he said, carefully meeting his gaze. "Look at me, yeah? Everything's gonna be all right, I promise you, sugar. I'm here now, and I'm not gonna leave."

Arthur's breath hitched in his throat, and this time he did not pull away, instead ungracefully falling onto the floor to be in front of the other boy. Sugar. It had felt so long – too long - since the last time he had called him by his pet name.

"I messed up." Arthur admitted, with a choked voice. "We both did. But if we both want to fix our mistakes, do you want me again?"

"I...honestly, I've never stopped wanting you," Alfred admitted shyly. "I'm sorry about the fact that I have to be romantically involved with so many people at once, but it's the rules." Alfred looked away a little, but brought his gaze to Arthur after a moment, his eyes shining. "But I've screwed up as well. Badly. I've been a douche, a million things I've never meant to be to you. I'll help you with your magic and things, but you have to trust me even when things get hard, okay?" he leaned forward, brushing his lips against Arthur's ear, unintentionally eliciting a shiver from him. "Will you have me back?"

Arthur felt his mouth perk up into the corners of a smile. Inwardly, he cursed his soft heart for the way he let Alfred come so close. But maybe, he was longing for it more than he thought.

"Yes."

"Ah crap, I forgot," Alfred said awkwardly, knocking his free hand against his forehead.

"What's that?" Arthur questioned, looking up from where their hands were linked. He caught Alfred staring at him with a dopey smile, and he flushed and nudged him with his elbow. "D-don't look at me like that, what's wrong?"

"I guess ya still owe me a dance." he said, looking a little bashfully to the side. "I…I, uh, still wanted to, that night, because I thought you were gonna leave. That is, if you'll have me."

Arthur responded by bringing their linked hands up to his shoulder and placing his hand on Alfred's waist, stepping a little closer.

"All right," he said slowly. "But only if I get to lead first."

"Okay! But come on, let's go here first," Alfred sang, pulling Arthur onto the first floor. He pushed open the doors to the queen's suite and into the adjoining room, where Arthur realized that Alfred was practically effortlessly pulling out a rusty, heavy thing of some sort with multiple large disks.

"What's that? Goodness, couldn't you have found some musicians if you really wanted some music," Arthur teased, coming over.

"Uh, Mom said they were called phonographs," he called over his shoulder, mumbling a little. "S-she always kept it on when she was practicing her magic when she was trying to concentrate. She said it was really pretty, though…I want to make it special. So instead of having the band play something slow," he paused, gesturing to the discs. "We'll put these on instead! Okay?"

Arthur snorted, slowly coming up behind him and wrapping his arms around his waist, wanting to surprise him. "As long as I get to sleep, you romantic fool."

"H-huh?" Alfred stammered, clearly surprised. "Haha - aw, Artie! Of course! I just thought that you'd prefer the privacy."

Good point, he thought privately, going a little on his tiptoes to rest his head against his shoulder. We really need to make up for a lot of lost time.

And if I'm really fighting for him…I can't hold anything back now, he thought determinedly. If anything, I'll have to put on the affection on full force, whether I like it or not.

"I do." he said softly, tilting his head a little to face him more clearly. "At least, you'll be spared of the embarrassment that I'm the only person able to lead you."

"Good po – hey, Arthur!" Alfred huffed, but he didn't seem too angry as he let the other boy take his hand and place it on his waist again.

Arthur couldn't help but stare at the other boy's face the whole time. Weak rays of moonlight were beaming from the blue curtains, and the soft, lilting music being coaxed from the phonograph set the perfect mood for the two of them. Alfred's glasses practically shone in this light, the edge catching the glint from the moon outside. But it was the tender gaze directed at him that he treasured the most.

"And I thought you said you knew how to dance," Alfred said as they stood outside Arthur's bedroom door as they always did. "My feet are still sore!"

Arthur laughed, his lips teasing. "I'm sorry, Your Royal Smartness. You'll have to give me dancing lessons as well as magic lessons, then."

"I guess if we get to spend more time together, I won't mind." Flirting. Something neither had been doing with each other for what seemed like a very long time.

"Well…we have to see Sakura off tomorrow, so I'll see you then." Arthur said softly, unlacing his hand with Alfred's.

"Arthur," he said, and he turned around, his green eyes narrowing in confusion.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have overreacted that night, but I was scared. And, uh, I know how serious this kind of dating is – it's sort of like cheating, and I don't really like it. But ya know."

"Mhmm." Arthur couldn't help but sound a little defeated, but Alfred gently tilted his chin to face him.

"Hey. I meant everything I said tonight and more. Even if I have to bear with this for a little longer…you know how deeply I care for you."

They both took a deep breath. Was Alfred going to say those three words?

"Arthur, you know that I l-" Alfred swallowed once, cleared his throat and tried again, but his throat was so dry all of a sudden.

"I understand…but I feel the same," Arthur said gingerly, walking a little closer. "Let's wait until the perfect moment, okay? I don't want this to be forced."

Alfred seemed like he was going to complain, but after a moment he nodded and leaned against the door, slightly over Arthur. "Okay, then."

He looked away a little, feeling embarrassed by the way he held himself over him. If Anna came around…what should she say?

"Goodnight, Arthur," he said, his grin dangling off his mouth in a way that made him blush. "See ya real early tomorrow."

Arthur didn't know exactly how to respond right after, but as soon as he held onto the door to steady himself, wetted his mouth and started to lean forward on his tiptoes, it seemed like Alfred knew what he was going to do. Warm fingers clasped the side of his face, and Arthur let him sweep the two of them into a kiss, their mouths meeting timidly for a moment.

They paused, their eyes locking into one another before boldly pushing in a little further. Arthur let his gaze trace along the defined outline of Alfred's face before sliding his eyes shut and letting his hands fall forward, nestling them in the crook of his elbow. He could feel the other's warm embrace slip to his waist and pull him closer to his chest as he parted his mouth slightly, deepening the kiss.

When they finally did break apart, Arthur's hands were tangled in Alfred's soft, wheat gold hair and Alfred's fingers had traced against Arthur's rosy cheeks and his slender waist. They were both deprived of air after all that, but when Alfred caught a hint of Arthur's sweet smile; his heart couldn't help but melt.

"Goodnight, Alfred," Arthur said before kissing his cheekbone and closing the door. "I'll see you tomorrow morning, bright and early."

Alfred nodded, and entwined his fingers with Arthur's for a heartbeat before bowing once and leaving the room.

Arthur wondered, just for one moment, whether Alfred's hands had been trembling after that last touch.

Has something happened? That's never happened before...

Alfred released a long breath as he watched Arthur shuffle back into his room.

A twinge of guilt resonated in his chest; he hadn't been expecting that at all! The worst case, he'd thought, was Arthur storming out on him and leaving him stranded where he was. Even if he did, Alfred knew that he deserved it. He had been trying, really, to make sure that everyone was satisfied, but instead some of the Elite had been getting angry as he tried his best to share as much time with each of them as possible. Yes, he had a choice in mind, but with everything including the magic Trials and the advisors...did the Elite think that the person he had in mind was someone different?

But in the end, there is only one person, he thought as he made his way back to his room.

I won't let him down again.

my page just froze. developer tools saved my ass at 4am

i am so sorry but jetlag is making me feel like it's 2pm now save me

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