my phone: oh you set a notification for a new chapter? that's cute. we won't remind u

me: um but

my phone: do i need to repeat myself

me:

my phone:

my phone: that's right. now get back to rereading usuk fanfiction

me:

me: ,,,right

so this literally happened. and i have no time to reply, so they'll be next week! i'm so sorry ;w;

as always, i do not own the selection nor hetalia. these belong to kiera cass and himaruya hidekaz respectively.

Alfred's blood went cold with shock. What in the Fates was she-

"It's true," she said evenly. "And no, before you ask, I'm not a spy, Brother – Ivan simply just sent me away for my sake."

"...what do you want from me?" he blurted, the first thing that came to mind. "An alliance, or-"

"No…?" she said, sounding a little apprehensive. "I just said I'm not interested in spying or hurting Spades in any way. Which is why I told you all about the things happening in Clubs."

"Were you supposed to come into this thing romantically or to win my heart…?" Alfred said quietly, swallowing the chocolate and clearing his throat so he was able to swallow properly. "And are you really the princess of Clubs? Katya never mentioned you, and Yao says that your magic input isn't anything special!"

"Do you think I could have made this up?" Natalya said, almost coldly. It was almost as if the cold winds and hints of snow had seeped into her voice, chilling the room.

"My sister was told to keep quiet for my safety. She was supposed to take the throne, not my brother. After the whole scandal with Ivan vanishing that happened before either of us were born. I wasn't supposed to exist after my father's death."

"Scandal?" Alfred questioned. Suddenly this barrage of information was something else – not supposed to exist? Was Natalya a mistake as a person from the beginning? Did she have other motives other than her safety?

"He went missing shortly after the last King of Clubs came in. But that's the only thing I've been told. But my sis – your Joker – she couldn't do anything about it, either. I was there in case someone tried to assassinate me and steal the crown. But…I'm still here, so."

"Is it really bad there? In Clubs?" he knew it was practically asking Natalya for information about something very personal, but she seemed to take this in stride, nodding.

"You're lucky, Prince Alfred," she said gently, noting his shaken expression. "We don't have much freedom to love back at home. You must understand. I had no choice."

"Then why didn't you find yourself attached to me?" he asked, as if he was far away.

Natalya was silent for a moment, and then she spoke.

"Because you're in love with someone else. And you don't want to be involved with such a troubled person like me."

With that, she excused herself.

Relief seeped into her chest. A quiet entry, a quiet leaving…just like last time. Alfred hadn't been too angry after he had made her swear that she wasn't a spy or anything, and she was planning to contact her sister soon enough.

However sudden it was, Natalya doubted anyone really cared. Marianne was good as gone, she thought as she remembered the plan that she hatched the other day about going out of her way to insult the other Chosen until the next person left. No doubt about it, everyone wanted this to be over.

She could tell how fragile Alfred was becoming. No doubt after the whole thing with Leon and the fact that he wasn't very good with maintaining multiple relationships at one go was obviously taking a toll. With those wandering eyes and awkward tones, he'd better make a decision soon or he'd find himself completely alone.

But two gone, in one week? Natalya paused before shoving in another one of her coats. What would that do for Alfred's reputation?

She didn't dislike him, in fact she had grown to care for him greatly both as a sister and a friend. Would he think that the rest of the Elite disliked him?

"Fuck," she hissed, resting her forehead against the bedpost. "Goddamnit, why?"

A small knock came from outside her room that stopped her from destroying her bedroom. She thought it could be Jamie, who she should really have told that she was leaving, but to her surprise it was Alfred with a sober expression on his face.

"Lady Natalya." His tone was reserved, and for a moment Natalya dreaded the feeling of losing his friendship.

"Your Highness."

"I've gotten your brother on the port. He wants to speak with you," Alfred said, sounding a little tense. "Follow me downstairs to the port room. Please."

If someone had asked Natalya about how she had expected him to react to her secret, it would have involved her being tossed in a dungeon, coming clean as he bent on one knee – if it came to something that horrible – or being beheaded. Not a discussion with her brother through a screen.

He was strangely amplified on the display, his green eyes glossed over until they caught sight of Natalya's face staring back at him. Ivan sat back, his mouth twisting into a smile. She tried to ignore Alfred's mouth pressing into a thin line, and she bowed as she usually did.

"Natalya! How have you been?" he said cheerfully, but even then was there a hint of unease in his tone; he had obviously caught sight of Alfred in the corner.

"Cut the crap, why the hell have you sent your sister over here to spy on me?" Alfred said hastily, stepping forward. "And don't use that stupid accent."

Ivan seemed taken aback with this statement, and folded his arms against his chest. "What spying? I did not put her up to that, either."

"Alfred." she said quietly, almost desperately. Worst-case scenario that this could cause was full blown war between the most powerful military and the most magic capable nations. Not too good. "I was never here for spying. I won't lie to you. You've done so much for me in the short time that I was here."

"How do I know that?" he said, but it wasn't threatening in any way. In fact, it felt almost as if he was begging her to give him an answer.

Even Ivan was quiet now. Guilt filled her veins as she realized how fragile this had actually made him.

"I know how you feel." her tone was quiet, demeaning nothing like how she wanted it to turn out, but she continued on anyway.

"My mother was expected to kill herself after my father was murdered for the bit of gold sitting on top of his head. My uncle was a tyrant that beat my older siblings until one was in tears and one-" she gestured to Ivan. "-one was sent away into the northern part of Clubs to be trained for the crown without any love. No one ever noticed me. I knew the only thing I would ever be good for was to be married off."

Natalya saw his chest heave, his eyes soften, her brother's gaze on her figure half a continent away, but she wasn't finished yet. "I never knew the warmth of a loving family for long. But I would never wish that on anyone else. But for you - marrying someone for a reason other than love, marrying someone who isn't what he or she is? That's not right."

"I don't want to wish my fate on anyone else, especially you, Alfred. You've been like a brother to me. I know I don't deserve your friendship anymore, but the only thing Ivan wanted to do was to protect my sister and me while she was assigned here. We're the only thing either of us have left of love!" she admitted. "You're lucky. I know practically everyone here admires you for the right reasons," except Marianne, of course. "But I don't want to break that. So if you would…if you could just let me go back to Clubs quietly, that would be more than enough."

Both of them in the room let out breaths that they hadn't realized they had been holding, and he crossed the room in a few quick strides, taking her cold hands in his warm ones.

"Natalya…as long as I know that you aren't trying to hurt anyone or anything by your presence here…I trust you. But getting you to go quietly, I'm not sure about that."

"No one really cares," she said, letting out a half smile, half grimace. "Just in the dead of night would suit me. The cold won't be a problem either, I promise you that little."

"I'll send a carriage," Ivan piped after a moment, sounding muted. "I'll even throw a huge celeb-"

"No, please," she said awkwardly, "Not even a balloon. I just want to see everyone again. You too, brother. Can you send a carriage, though? Right now?"

"What?" both prince and king blurted in the same moment, in a rare show of unity. "You'll leave tomorrow?"

"I think I've overstayed my welcome, Alfred," she said steadily. "And up there," she tugged a little on some of his hair on the side of his face, letting a playful smile slip onto her face. "You know who you're gonna pick. Don't mess it up, buddy."

And for the last time in that palace, she managed to silence two rulers of the most powerful kingdoms in Cards.

Beat that.

She pulled her shawl over her shoulders, resembling an overly fluffy bird before turning away to walk downstairs, into the thickening snows of Spades to talk to a certain someone.

A maid, one with fair hair tied back into her hat, bowed quietly as she passed by to ask for Jamie. Natalya waited as she scurried into the steel wall of the servants' quarters, and after a few moments of awkwardly waiting around his eager face presented itself to her.

"My – my Lady! Is there something that you need? I'm sorry for not being in the room where you needed me, I…"

"Nothing to worry about, Jamie," she said, letting a lot more warmth seep into her voice than ever before. "I just want to talk to you in private in my room."

"Is it, um, something that the other Elite can't hear?" he stuttered, surprised by her warmth.

The two of them scurried up the steps, past the bustle of the dining hall as she knew the other four were having dinner in, past the armoury, past every other room that she was leaving behind.

"Yes. It's just that…" she waited for him to close the door before she resumed her sentence. "I'm leaving tomorrow morning."

"W-what?" he gasped, disbelief splashed all over his face. "But my lady, I thought you and his Highness were doing very well! If I could have called it, I would have thought you would have won…"

"No, no, Jamie," she laughed, "Nothing like that. The prince only cares for me like a friend. I couldn't possibly force him to love me like that."

Besides, if he'll have me back…

"So." she spread her hands out, placing them firmly on her leather bound suitcase. "If you don't mind, can you please help me pack?"

"Anything for you, my lady." he said shyly. "Although, if you don't mind, would you like to keep the dresses I made for you?"

"Oh? I thought we couldn't," she remarked as Jamie bustled her into her changing room like they usually did.

"I made them just for you, my lady, it would be a shame if I had to throw them away," he smiled, and Natalya thought about just how much she would miss him.

"Jamie…would you like to come back to Clubs with me?"

As soon as those words flew out of her mouth, she knew there was no going back.

"Clubs?" he squeaked, sounding part astounded and terrified. "B-but, my lady…"

"Long story," she said awkwardly. "I'll explain…"

"My…my…my…lady, I would have, um, never would have guessed!" Jamie stuttered, his tongue tripping and his hands shaking after their long talk. Natalya had asked him to get some warm coffee for both him and her. "The lost princess of…of…"

"No, I'm not lost at all, my family knows where I am. But would it be too selfish a request to ask you to stay with me? You've been very invaluable to me."

"If his Highness will allow me, I will follow my lady," he began, but Natalya shook her head.

"Only if you want to. You did mention you had family in Diamonds before?"

"Um, just my sister and brother," he said quietly.

"Then what are they called?"

"Jodie and Feliks," Jamie said, letting a smile fall onto his face.

"Then I can get them to come over if you'd like." she pulled the brush across her hair again, scrunching up her nose as she found a particularly messy tangle. "You'll be treated better in the court than here. But you mustn't say anything to the others, all right?"

"I'll only stay here until it's time for us to leave." he nodded quickly. "My lady…it's been so long since I've seen them!"

"It's one of the few ways I can begin to thank you," Natalya said.

Maybe with all her ghosts behind her, she could start anew.

i just wondered

does anyone even read this anymore :/

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