GBond007: Is she, though?
South Down: I dunno.
Walter Bryan Cranston White: Maybe.
"Are you sure your shoulder is okay, Stan?" Kyle asked as the boys got to shore on the island and hopped off Pirate Ship Timmy.
"Oh, it's nothing," Stan reassured him, rubbing his shoulder where he'd been shot by Bebe's arrow. "Wouldn't be the first time I've been shot. Anyways, let's worry about getting that map before the others catch up."
Scout Ike whipped out his phone and switched cards, transforming into Smuggler Ike. "Come on!" He exclaimed, swinging his cutlass in the air before heading towards the entrance of the cave. Stan and Kyle took one last look back to sea, and could vaguely see the ship they had capsized get righted. They knew it wouldn't be long before the girls caught up to them.
"Alright, let's go!" Stan said, and he and Kyle followed Ike into the cave. It was dark inside, and huge, with massive intersecting corridors leading to different sections of the cave.
"Holy crap, this place is huge!" Stan exclaimed, looking around himself. "How are we gonna find the map in here?"
"Well, we'll have to before the girls catch up to us," Kyle reminded him, before turning before him and calling out, "Ike, don't stray too far."
"Maybe we should split up," Stan suggested. "We could cover more ground that way."
"No, we have to stick together," Kyle argued. "It's too dangerous splitting up, especially in here. Right Ike? Ike?"
Kyle's eyes widened as he quickly scanned the area to find no sign of his brother anywhere. "Ike?" He shouted in horror. "Ike, where are you? Ike?!" Quickly, he rushed down the caverns, desperate to find him, Stan following suite.
Eventually, the two of them recognized the familiar silhouette of Kyle's brother at the end of one of the caverns. "Kyle!" He called out to them, waving his cutlass in the air.
Kyle sighed with relief. "Ike," He whispered. "You nearly gave me a heart attack. Alright, come over he-" Before he could finish his sentence, Ike suddenly slipped and fell over, vanishing from view, his cries echoing through the caverns.
"Ike!" Kyle shouted in horror, instinctively diving forward. As he did, he, too, tumbled down the small hill, coming to a stop on the ground. Groaning, he got to his knees; as he did, his fingers clenched around numerous tiny objects scattered across the ground.
"What the-" He whispered, raising the objects to his face. It was then that he saw they were gold coins. Looking around, he saw that the whole room was covered in gold and diamonds.
"Smuggler's Den," Ike said a short distance away, buried in gold, his cutlass pointed at the wall. Kyle followed where he was pointing and saw the words Smuggler's Den carved into the wall, illuminated by torches lighting the room.
"Kyle!" Stan shouted at the top of the hill. "Are you guys okay?"
"Yeah, we're fine," Kyle called up to him.
"Alright then, can we get a move on?" Stan asked. "We have to continue searching."
"Um. . . yeah," Kyle replied, looking at the gold scattered across the den. "Um, could you give us a few seconds, though? Perhaps we could take some of this gold with us?"
"Kyle, what use is gold in this game?" Stan asked. "Come on, let's go find the map."
"It'll only take a minute, Stan," Kyle reassured him, already gathering some of the coins in his arms. "We'll be right there."
Stan groaned in annoyance. Turning around, he headed off down one of the over corridors, scanning the area for any sign of the map. Eventually, his eyes landed on a treasure chest at the end of the corridors. It looked like it had been busted open not too long ago.
Rushing over to it, Stan opened up the chest. Immediately, his eyes glistened.
Lying inside the treasure chest was the map. It was too dark for him to see what it said, but he knew it was what he was looking for.
"Kyle!" He called out. "Ike! I found the map!"
He was about to reach in and grab it when he noticed a light source behind him. Whipping around, he saw a dark figure in front of him, holding up a lantern, letting Stan see his face.
"Clyde?" He blurted out in shock.
"That's Hookhand Clyde to you," Clyde retorted, aiming one of his hooked hands at him. With his other, he raised the lantern up at the treasure chest, illuminating the map, letting Stan see it more clearly. He saw the outline of the key on it, but he couldn't yet make out where it was supposed to be located.
"I take it you're here for the map," Stan whispered, shielding the treasure chest. "Well, I found it first. So unless you want to fight, I'm taking it."
"Oh, I've already gotten what I wanted here," Hookhand Clyde replied, trying, and failing, to sound menacing. "Don't worry; I won't get in your way."
"But we will!" A voice shouted not too far away, causing both boys to whip around in shock. Standing in the middle of the corridors, blocking their path, was Wendy, Bebe, Red and Annie.
"Give us that map," Bebe ordered, aiming her pistol at the two.
"Over my dead body!" Stan retorted.
"Gladly!" Bebe shouted, and with that, she started firing her pistol at the two. Stan and Clyde quickly began to scatter in a panic as both Bebe and Wendy fired at them, moving them further away from the treasure chest.
"Quick Red, get the map!" Wendy ordered as she kept Stan and Clyde away from the chest. Her redheaded friend obeyed, rushing towards the treasure chest and grabbing the map. She furled it up and rushed back to her friends' sides.
"Alright, let's move!" Bebe exclaimed. They turned and were about to head off, only to be blocked by Kyle and Ike, who were carrying as much gold as they could in their arms and pockets.
"You'll have to get through us first!" Kyle retorted.
"What took you two so long?" Stan asked, hiding behind a stalagmite.
"Sorry, we had to take a picture," Kyle apologized.
"A picture?" Stan blurted out in disbelief. "Why did you-"
"Enough talking!" Clyde shouted. Rushing out from behind the stalagmite, he hurled his green parrot at Bebe. The bird latched itself in her blonde hair, tucking on it with her talons.
"Augh!" She screamed in pain, dropping the pistol and swiping wildly with her hands. "Get this thing off of me!"
The bird flew over her head and towards Wendy, who swung at it to try and get it away. Clyde took the opportunity to scramble down the corridor, passing Kyle and Ike as he went.
Whipping out his cutlass, Ike lunged at Red. The older girl pulled out her sabre, using it to block Ike's blade as it came down on her. Still holding onto the map with one hand, she fenced with Ike, the two clashing swords. Kyle took the opportunity to rush past the two, dumping the gold into the empty treasure chest.
With the girls distracted, Stan took the opportunity to rush forward. As Red interlocked her sabre with Ike's cutlass, he reached out and grabbed the map from her hand.
"Hey!" Red shouted, whirling around. Before she could retaliate, Ike whacked her in the leg with the broad side of his sword, bringing her attention back to him. Now using both hands, she swung her sabre at him repeatedly. Ike tried to parry her blows, but she was bigger than he was, and put more force into each strike.
By now, the parrot had vanished, and Wendy and Bebe had recovered and were now focusing their attention back on the boys. The two aimed their pistols at the boys.
"Give us the map, Stan!" Wendy demanded.
"Kyle, we could use a little help here!" Stan said, his hands raised in surrender.
"No worries!" Kyle replied, shutting the treasure chest. Turning towards the girls, he asked, "You know what a pirate's worst enemy is?"
"What?" Bebe asked.
Whipping out his phone, Kyle shouted, "Ninjas!" With that, he pressed the card and immediately transformed into the Master Ninjew.
"Take this!" He shouted, jumping into the air and hurling shurikens at them. The girls immediately dodged out of the way as the ninja stars embedded themselves in the wall.
"Give me the map, Stan!" The Master Ninjew ordered Stan. Obeying him, Stan handed the furled map over to him. He took it, continuing to hurl the shurikens at Wendy and Bebe to keep them at bay.
As Wendy rolled across the ground, dodging the ninja stars, Annie rushed towards her. "Hey Wendy, can I fight Stan for you?" She asked. "Please!"
"Fine!" Wendy replied, ducking under another star. "Just don't get-"
"Great!" Annie shouted, then hastily rushed towards Stan and Kyle. "Prepare to feel the wrath of Warrior Ann-"
WHACK!
Before Annie could finish her sentence, she was smacked in the face with Stan's trident. She soundlessly dropped onto the ground, dazed.
"-Hurt," Wendy finished, wincing.
"Come on!" The Master Ninjew shouted, picking up the treasure chest and carrying it down the corridors, Ike and Stan following suite. As they ran, Stan turned around and threw a water balloon into the air before smashing it with his trident, spraying the ground with water. As the girls attempted to follow them, they slipped and fell across the wet ground.
"Sorry," Stan hastily apologized to Wendy as they fled. "Sorry!"
Turning around, he followed Kyle and Ike as they rushed out of the cave and outside. "Man, that was a close one," Kyle breathed out as they exited the cave. "We nearly lost the-"
POW!
Suddenly, Kyle was struck dead-center in the face by a giant red boxing glove. The force of the blow sent him flying backwards and crashing onto the ground. Ike and Stan jumped in alarm before turning to see Barrel Dougie, the boxing glove sticking out of the barrel.
"Watch the barrel," He sneered wickedly.
Before Stan or Ike could respond, Ike was snatched from behind. Stan whirled around in shock to see Deckhand Butters holding Ike still, a small knife to his throat.
"Easy, fellas!" He warned, trying to sound as menacing as he could.
Stan froze as he heard a familiar laughing at his side. Turning around, he saw Sheriff Cartman, his gun pointed at him.
"Haha, you dumbasses made this too easy!" Cartman sneered.
Stan dropped his trident and put his hands in the air. "Cartman, when did you get here?" He asked.
"We followed you to the island," Cartman revealed, titling his head towards the rowboat docked on the shore, where Scott was currently seated. "We decided to wait for you to get the map for us. Speaking of which. . ." Cockily, he strode over to the dazed Kyle, the furled piece of paper in his hand.
"I'll be taking that," He said, snatching it from Kyle's fingers. The redhead weakly raised his hands towards him, his eyes narrowed.
"Give it back. . . fatass. . ." He whispered, his teeth gritted.
"Sorry," Cartman sarcastically replied as he held the paper in his hands. "But only one person can get the prize. Sucks it won't be you!"
Turning to Butters and Dougie, he exclaimed, "Come on, you guys! Let's get out of here!" He rushed towards the rowboat, Dougie barreling after him. Butters released Ike and was about to follow suite, but stopped when he saw one of Kyle's ninja stars lying in the sand. Instantly, he froze, his blood running cold.
"Ninja star!" He shouted out in a panic, flashbacks to when one of them got stuck in his eye rushing back to him. With a scream, he stumbled backwards. Seeing his chance, Stan hurled the trident at him. It caught Butters' sleeve and sent him flying into the wall.
"Hey Cartman!" Stan called out. "Aren't you forgetting someone?"
By now, Cartman and Dougie were back in the boat. Looking up, they saw Butters, pinned to the wall of the cave by the trident. "Um, fellas, a little help here?" He asked, dangling from the wall.
"Sorry, Butters," Cartman called out to him. "But the needs of me outweigh the needs of you! Let's move!" With that, Scott and Dougie began rowing as fast as they could, moving the boat away from the island.
Stan growled in anger. By now, Kyle had recovered, and was carrying the treasure chest towards Pirate Ship Timmy. "Forget about them, Stan!" He called out to him. "Let's get a move on!"
Glaring back at Cartman one last time, he followed Kyle and Ike back onto Pirate Ship Timmy. Quickly, they set sail, going in the opposite direction.
"What are you doing?" Stan asked. "We have to go get the map!"
"Let them have it," Kyle replied casually, grinning. "We have something better." With that, he opened the treasure chest, revealing the map inside, lying on top of the gold.
Stan's jaw dropped as he stared down at the map. Suddenly, a rough force struck the boat, rocking it slightly and causing the boys to tumble. Kyle quickly snapped the treasure chest shut to keep the map from falling out.
Whipping their heads to the side, they saw none other Annie, hanging onto the edge of the boat. With a groan, she pulled herself on board before standing to her feet.
"Annie, there's not a lot of room in here," Stan said, squished against Kyle. "Get out."
"Not until you give us the map!" Annie retorted, pointing a finger at the two. "Don't make me have to take it by force! I'm warning you; you do not want to see me angry!"
Stan and Kyle exchanged bored glances with each other. Before they could respond, Ike, standing behind Annie, grabbed her foot and tossed it in the air. Thrown off-balance, she stumbled backwards and headfirst into the cannon.
"Oh, shit," Stan whispered as he watched Annie's legs kick out, her voice muffled from inside the cannon.
"TIMMY!" Timmy shouted. With that, he fired the cannon, blasting Annie out of the cannon and up into the sky. Her scream echoed through the air as her body soared away, growing smaller and smaller until she had vanished from view.
Stan, Kyle, Ike and Timmy stared up into the air where Annie had vanished. "Huh," Kyle whispered. "Well, better get back to land. We'll decide what to do with the map there."
"Wait, there's something I don't get it," Stan said. "If the map was in the treasure chest, what did Cartman take?"
Cartman laughed triumphantly as Dougie and Scott rowed the boat across the sea. "Those losers never stood a chance!" He shouted, holding the furled paper in his hands. "Secret prize, here I come!"
"You know, it was kind of a dick move leaving Butters behind," Dougie mumbled.
"Eh, he did his part," Cartman scoffed. "All that matters now is that we have the map. It's ours, and with it, finding that key will be a piece of cake!"
Scott stared at the furled paper in Cartman's hand. "Hey, doesn't that paper looks kinda small for a map?" He said, staring at it.
Cartman's grin vanished. He looked down at the furled paper currently in his hands. Only then did he realize that it did, indeed, look rather small, and white.
Slowly, he unfurled the paper. When he did, his entire body froze with rage.
Dougie and Scott noticed the way Cartman's body tensed up. "What is it?" Scott asked, dropped their paddles and crowding around Cartman's sides. Once they did, they saw why Cartman had froze.
In Cartman's hands was a picture of Kyle mooning him inside Smuggler's Den while also flipping him off. At the top corner of the picture, written in Kyle's handwriting, was the words, "Dear Cartman."
For a few moments, Cartman simply stood in silence, his mouth a thin line. Slowly, his cheeks began to turn red, and Scott and Dougie inched away from him in fear.
With a growl, Cartman ripped the picture in two.
"Goddammit Kyle!" He shouted, shaking his fists in the air in rage.
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