Dragon Slaer: It was actually supposed to be a parallel between Kenny and his sister Karen.
vh1660924: You'll have to find out. Regarding Kannie, see above.
GBond007: Maybe.
Guest: Perhaps.
A/N: Funny thing, the mystery girl saving Kenny and Annie wasn't initially supposed to be in this chapter; I was planning for it to be in the next one (that is to say, this one), but just decided to add it at the last minute. Given all the talk regarding it, I suppose that was a wise decision.
Kyle groaned as he stretched his arm through the cell bars holding him, Stan and Ike, trying to grab his phone, which had been placed a small stool, just barely out of reach. No matter how far he strained, he couldn't grab it.
"Give it up, Kyle," Stan said, sitting against the wall, pouting. "You won't get it."
"I can't believe what a dick Craig is," Kyle said, gripping the cell bars. "He placed our phones right in front of us, just to taunt us. Stan, can't you hand me your hatchet or something so I can reach it?"
"And risk damaging our phones?" Stan asked. "Can't you find some other way to escape?"
"No," Kyle muttered. "If I was the Human Kite or something, getting out of here would be a piece of cake. But ninja me doesn't really work well against sci-fi."
"Well, shit," Stan said, going back to pouting.
On the other side of the room, the doors slid open, and a handcuffed Pocahontas Randy was shoved inside by a pair of Space Gunners, with Jimmy at the head. He was no longer Storyteller Jimmy, but was instead in his Enforcer Jimmy form.
"Dad?!" Stan shouted, shocked.
"Oh, hey Stan," Randy said. "Didn't think I'd find you here."
"M-M-Move it, prisoner," Enforcer Jimmy ordered, shoving Randy forward.
"Jimmy?" Kyle said, flabbergasted. "What the Hell are you doing? I thought you were on our side!"
"S-S-Sorry, fellas," Jimmy said. "But my loyalty to Craig supersedes my loyalty to you."
"Oh, dammit," Kyle grumbled, annoyed.
"Alright, get in the cell," One of the gunners said, waving his laser at Randy. As he did so, however, he felt a sharp pain in his leg, causing him to jump backwards. Looking down, he saw Gizmo Ike, looking up at him.
"Hey!" The gunner shouted. "How'd you get out of your cell?!"
Gizmo Ike didn't respond, simply staring at him silently.
"Get back in your cell," The other gunner snapped, picking up Ike. As he was about to carry him towards the cell, he, too, felt a pain in his foot, and glanced down to see another Gizmo Ike, kicking him.
"What the-" The gunner said, only to be struck across the head by yet another Gizmo Ike.
"Huh?" Kyle said in confusion as, before his eyes, the two gunners were attacked by multiple Gizmo Ikes. He glanced down to see Ike, standing by his side within the cell, then back out at the sight before him.
"What the Hell's going on?" Stan asked, equally flabbergasted.
By now, the two gunners were cowering on the ground, being beaten up by the multiple Ikes. One of the Gizmo Ikes rushed towards the stool and grabbed Stan and Kyle's phones, handing it to the two older boys.
Stan's eyes widened in realization. "They didn't take Ike's phone," He said. "He must've transformed and duplicated himself before we were locked up."
"Good thinking, Ike," Kyle said as he flipped through his phone before transforming into the Human Kite. "Now, let's bust ourselves out of here!"
With a single blast from his laser eyes, the Human Kite obliterated the cell bars. He, Stan and Ike rushed out of their containment and charged towards the door, but were stopped in their tracks by Enforcer Jimmy.
"Not so f-f-fast," Jimmy said, blocking the entrance. "If you want to get past, you'll have to go through m-m-me."
Before the boys could respond, Pocahontas Randy sprang in front of them, holding his phone. "Don't worry, Stan!" He said. "I'll save you!"
An explosion of blue engulfed the boys as Randy transformed. When the light ceased, Randy was now in his Amazingly Randy form.
"Check out this trick," The Amazingly Randy said to Jimmy, placing a handkerchief over his crotch. Shaking his hips, the form of his wiener appeared on the handkerchief before he suddenly tossed it to the side, diverting Jimmy's attention.
"Now see this!" Randy said, pulling out another handkerchief and repeating the action. As he did, he turned to Stan and the others and said, "Go! While he's distracted!"
Stan and Kyle exchanged confused glances, but nevertheless rushed out the sliding doors and into the hallways, the several Gizmo Ikes following suite.
"We gotta find the exit to this place!" Stan said as they ran.
"Not so fast!" The Human Kite replied, soaring in the air. "There's something else we have to take care of!"
In the command center of the UFO, Craig's gang, minus Jimmy, circled a table, staring down at the map.
"So. . . since we already have the picture in Clyde's phone, what do we do with this?" Token asked.
"We should destroy it," Craig suggested. "That way, no one else will be able to find the key's location."
The other boys nodded and gestured to Alien Clyde, who promptly hopped onto the table, his jaws snapping shut on the map. However, to the other boys' shock, the map didn't rip. No matter how much Alien Clyde tugged on it, it remained intact.
"Huh," Craig said, stroking his chin. "I guess whoever designed this game made the map unbreakable. Wouldn't want a cheat code damaged."
"Well what do we do with it now?" Tweek asked.
Picking up the map, Craig handed it to one of the grunts. "Toss it out of the ship," He ordered. "That way, no one will know where it is. And even if someone finds it by chance, I doubt they'll make it to the Underworld before us."
As the grunt headed off, the gang heard a loud crashing sound on another side of the UFO, followed by the ship shaking violently. "What was that?!" Token asked in alarm. Quickly, the gang rushed towards the source of the crash.
Within seconds, the group had made it to a larger section of the ship. Their eyes widened as they saw the reason for the crash; a smaller spaceship, which had smashed its way into the ship.
As the gang, flanked by several Visitors, watched on cautiously, the door of the spaceship swung open and the girls, along with Butters, hopped out of the ship.
"We're here for the map, Craig!" Robo Bebe said, cocking her gun menacingly. "Give it up, if you know what's good for you!"
Craig stared at Bebe's gun. "Well, gee, if you put it like that. . . toss it out!" He shouted, whipping his head towards the grunt holding the map. Before the girls could stop him, the grunt chucked the map out through the window.
"No!" Ice Sniper Wendy shouted in horror.
"Alright, girls, map's gone," Craig said. "Now, either you can follow suite, or you can go the cells with your boyfriend." Snapping his fingers, the Visitors readied their guns, aiming them at the girls and Butters.
"Oh, hamburgers," Butters said, hiding behind Alien Queen Red.
Despite the guns being aimed at them, Red smirked. "Not so fast," She said. "Apparently, you guys have a picture of the map. Since Clyde was the only one on the island, that must mean he has the picture, right?"
"Yeah," Clyde said, raising his phone, which had a picture of the map on it.
"So what?" Craig asked, folding his arms. "We're not giving it to you."
"You may not," Red said slyly. "But he will." She pointed a finger at Clyde.
"What are you talking about?" Clyde asked, confused. "I'm not-"
"Clyde, what form are you in?" Red asked, placing a hand on her hips.
". . . I'm Alien Clyde," Clyde replied. As if to prove his point, he snapped his alien jaws over his head.
"Correct," Red said, her grin growing. "And I'm an Alien Queen." The green tentacles with jaws attached to them swirled around her body, the jaws hissing at Clyde.
Alien Clyde's skin paled. "Oh, shit," He whispered, realizing where he stood in the pecking order.
"Now obey your queen, Clyde," Alien Queen Red ordered, stretching out her hand. "Give me the phone."
To the shock of Craig's gang, Clyde reluctantly walked over to the girls, the phone in his hands. "Clyde, what are you doing?" Token asked, flabbergasted.
"I have no choice," Clyde said, turning to stare at the rest of his gang sadly. "I'm an Alien and she's an Alien Queen. I have to do as she says."
"A good alien doesn't keep his queen waiting," Red snapped, causing Clyde to resume walking. "And since I am an Alien Queen-" She snapped her fingers, and suddenly, the Visitors turned their guns on Craig and his gang.
"Whoa, what the fuck!" Craig shouted, stunned as his minions turned on him.
"Aaugh!" Tweek shouted, hugging Craig close in fear.
"This is bullshit!" Token said, dropping his blade and raising his hands in surrender.
As Red prepared to snatch the phone from Clyde, everyone heard lasers being fired down the hallway. Sci-fi kids began rushing out of the hallway in a panic, some of them firing their guns behind them as they ran.
"Boss!" One of the gunners shouted. "There's been a breakou-" Before he could finish, a laser was fired into his back, sending him crashing onto the ground.
As everyone stared at the hallway, the Human Kite zoomed into the room, firing his laser eyes at the Visitors, knocking them back. Stan, now in his Program Stan form, soon appeared as well, followed by a mob of Gizmo Ikes. As Craig's gang and the girls watched on in shock, the Visitors were swarmed by the Gizmo Ikes, overtaken and pulled onto the ground.
"What is going on?!" Craig shouted, confused.
"Give it up, Craig!" Stan shouted, aiming his disk at him. "Where's the map!"
"It's too late!" Craig spat, narrowing his eyes at Stan. "We threw it out of the ship, and there's not a damn thing you can do about it!" As soon as the words left his mouth, he was struck by a laser blast from the Human Kite.
"You asshole, Craig!" He shouted, enraged.
Some of the Visitors turned their guns on the Human Kite, but he was too fast for them. He zipped through the air, raining laser blasts down upon them. Some of the blasts shot holes through the UFO, adding even more damage to it.
While the others were distracted by the chaos, Red took the opportunity to grab the phone from Clyde. "Come on!" She shouted to the girls, and they began to rush for the spaceship. However, the Human Kite saw them going and fired at the spaceship, causing it to explode, throwing the girls and Butters back.
"Stan!" He shouted to his friend, who was busy slicing a Visitor in half with his disk. "Freeze them!"
Program Stan nodded, raising his disk in the air, preparing to smash it into the ground to create a shockwave that would freeze his enemies. As he did, however, his eyes landed on Wendy, who was staring at him, wide-eyed.
Just like that, Stan stiffened, his disk hanging in midair. All the color drained from his face.
"STAN!" The Human Kite shouted, ripping through his ears.
Immediately, Stan snapped out of his thoughts and smashed his disk against the ground. A blue shockwave erupted from the ground, paralyzing everyone in its path. Craig's gang, the Visitors, and the girls were frozen still.
Not wasting a second, the Human Kite zoomed down, grabbing the phone out of the frozen Red's hand. Pulling out his own phone, he went on iCloud, quickly transferring the picture of the map onto his phone.
"Come on, hurry!" Stan shouted. He knew the others wouldn't stay frozen much longer.
"And. . . done!" The Human Kite exclaimed as he finished transferring the image. Tossing Clyde's phone away, he flew towards Stan and the original Gizmo Ike, grabbing them and carrying them into the air. Blasting a hole through the windows, he flew out, along with his posse, just as the others were unfrozen.
"Goddammit!" Craig shouted as he saw his enemies escape the ship.
By this point, the UFO was beginning to spiral downwards, unable to stay in the air after all the damage it had taken. Many of the sci-fi kids and Visitors were rushing to the escape pods. With their spaceship destroyed, the girls followed suite.
"Come on, Wendy!" Red was shouting, pulling the dark-haired girl along the hallway. Wendy's face was blank, the only emotion coming from her eyes, which were widened in shock.
"Stan. . ." She whispered.
"That's not important!" Butters said, joining Red in pulling Wendy to one of the pods. "We gotta get out of here!"
Meanwhile, Tweek was doing the same thing to Craig. "Come on!" He shouted, pulling his boyfriend towards another escape pod. Craig's face was red with anger, but he followed, along with the rest of his gang, hopping into the pod.
"I swear, we're gonna get those bastards!" He growled as they were ejected out of the UFO.
Only seconds after they had ejected, the UFO crashed into the ground.
In the air, the Human Kite, Stan and Ike watched as the spacecraft exploded into fiery pieces. "That was a close one," Stan whispered, holding onto the Human Kite. "Glad we made it out of that one."
"But Stan," The Human Kite said. "What about your dad?"
"Oh, yeah, him," Stan replied dismissively, shifting his eyes. "He probably died in the explosion. How unfortunate."
As the words left his mouth, the boys heard a familiar voice call out, "Hey, Stan!" Whipping their heads around in shock, the boys saw the Amazingly Randy floating through the air, hanging onto two flying roosters.
"I summoned two cocks to save myself!" He called out to them as he floated past them. "Isn't that amazing?"
Stan sighed. "Let's just go and find mom," He said, an exhausted tone in his voice.
With that, the Human Kite flew towards the Holy Road to rendezvous with Sharon, Randy following closely behind them.
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