my wifi, working: we're going to work for literally every site save ffnet

me: why must you forsake me this way

so yeah, this is why it's a bit late. cheers

as always, i do not own the selection nor hetalia. these belong to kiera cass and himaruya hidekaz respectively.

Heracles was reading a book when Kiku went inside the infirmary room.

Kiku was wearing a suit today as a component of his formal wear just before they set out for Spades per Ludwig's request. He understood the need for a united front, but it was a bit more constrained than he was used to – so he found an excuse to get a slightly less formal jacket before he put on the suit jacket when they travelled.

His long brown hair dangled past his ears as his eyes focused on the small paperback, carefully balancing it with the remaining arm he had properly functioning. As Kiku approached, not wanting to disturb his silence, he scrunched his nose in an adorable fashion, pawing at the next page with his hand – but straightened up as soon as he noticed Kiku's smile the corner.

"H-Hey," he stammered, placing his book down against the sheets. "I wasn't expecting you to visit today. Things have been happening, right?"

"Well, yes," Kiku conceded, but rested his hand on top of his. "But I had to see you. How are you holding up?"

"A lot better now," Heracles chuckled, his larger hand enveloping Kiku's daintier one. "Doc's said they might make a prosthetic replacement for my left arm, but I still dunno. I've been bothering that poor butler for philosophy books ever since your visit on Wednesday. I think he's ready to punch me in the nose."

"That alone is telling me I really take horribly long gaps," Kiku said. "Three days is really too long. If you would like me to get some books for you as an excuse to come visit you, I would love to."

"Nah…you're a queen, Kiku, it would be embarrassing…" Heracles said, but a smile danced on his olive skin. Kiku tilted his head as if to tease him back, and his eyes softened the moment Heracles' hand connected with his cheek and lost themselves in his dark hair – strangely reminiscent before all of this began.

"Queen or no queen, my duty as lover to you comes first in my head," Kiku said, bringing his hand to meet Heracles'. "And if that requires me to take time out of my work day to come see you, so be it."

"Let me relocate to your office first though, if you need me," Heracles said, running a thumb against Kiku's cheekbone. "And bring a cat or two. Maybe I could make an effort for your sake and go see Sadiq. That guy must be crying with all of the strays."

"I suppose he would eventually be tired," Kiku said, relishing in the heat of his palm. "Even when I came to help you on the odd day, we would still be overrun. Although we would have to sort it out when we are back from business. I do not want to leave, though…"

"Your friend, right? Arthur. Is he doing well back in Spades?" Heracles asked, tipping his head to one side. "I am aware there is a fiasco in Spades concerning the Joker Gilbert and the Ace Matthew, but since it involves the whole palace I'm not sure that you'll be all right with just leaving him there. He was the one that was going to tell you that I was still alive…"

"It is true that I owe him a huge debt-" Kiku began.

"-and he's your best friend, debts aren't really that important," Heracles nodded. "The thing is, the two of you share an important bond."

"But of course," Kiku smiled. "I just wish I could spend more time with you."

Heracles let their joined hands fall into Kiku's lap, and he nodded, his head dithering for a moment before he looked back into his beloved's eyes.

"I understand…that we're not the same people anymore. Well, I mean that we just can't go back to how we were," he said gently, giving Kiku's hand a squeeze. "That might mean that there's more burden on your shoulders, but you know now that I'll always be there to help shoulder that if you need me to."

"I know you were always there for me. I was just afraid of a time where I would not be able to be with you," Kiku admitted, swallowing a little as he fought back the months of grief during his draft into the Easterns. "And I was so afraid that I took what we had for granted."

"Never," Heracles said seriously, pressing his head against Kiku's chest. "I haven't ever felt that you've taken what we have and twisted into something else. I won't forget the nights you took to sneak out to see me. You can't make me forget that."

"You always told me that one could see the love one has for another by their actions, not their words," Kiku murmured, shifting a little closer to him. "I know we are a lot more private with each other than most couples, but…I will do all I can in the time we share together to show you how much I truly care for you."

"Starting with those books?" Heracles teased, adjusting his stance to accommodate Kiku's form. "Teasing, teasing, Kiku. Please take a break, that's how I will know. For my sake."

Kiku leaned down to brush apart his loose hair and kiss his temple to Heracles' elation, and his sole hand came to hold his shoulder, carefully supporting his stance.

Just then, a soldier came into the infirmary, his speech serious – Kiku had to set off for Spades as the other royals were waiting, even though the other Primary Suit members knew that he was going to visit, the stakes were higher over there than for the man in his arms, receiving all the care and love Kiku and the palace could give.

"I must go. They will be waiting for me," Kiku said, his voice filled with regret. "I promise, when this is all over, I will come to see you before anything. Even if I am a man starved."

"I'll limp down the stairs if I have to," Heracles joked, and gave him a kiss on the cheek – a small one, even though it elicited a squeak of embarrassment from his lover regardless. "I'll see you soon."

"I will be thinking of you," Kiku said, removing his casual jacket and draping it around his shoulders in the fashion he always wore them in. "Please, be safe."

"As long as you are, I know I will," Heracles assured him, using his right hand to tighten the garment around himself, as if it were Kiku and the promise of his safety. "I know you'll do your utmost."

"Always," Kiku smiled, allowed himself one more look at Heracles, then swiftly exiting the room, not trusting himself enough to not linger.

Even if he was the Queen of Hearts, it did not mean he had to leave everything that he had treasured in his old life behind.

The day was blisteringly bright even for a winter's day, and Matthew squinted behind his glasses as he slowly made his way out to the arena set just outside the palace, in an obscure wood that was not too far nor near, tucked near the right side – almost perfect for anyone viewing there. He was sure that the advisors would be there instead of outside…

He and Gilbert had had the opportunity to travel together, thank the Fates, and so they had spared no chance to be together. Even as the guards shouted at the two of them when they tried to exchange words, but one of his cuffed hands found their way to one of his, and the two of them held each other, buried underneath their jackets like they had the last time Gilbert had came back to Spades.

The chains themselves felt odd – Matthew had been told that they had placed nullifiers in them for everyone's safety, theirs combined – and so it would be lighter than usual. But as he was holding Gilbert's hand in the carriage, his had felt a lot heavier than he was told they would feel like. He had thought of instigating a question, but as he sat in the carriage with guards, he quickly reasoned that they knew about as much as he did, possibly even less.

"We're at our destination," a guard said, gesturing with their lance as an act of formality, the voice so sudden that the two of them nearly let go of each other. "Please make your way to the middle of the arena and await more instructions."

Gilbert went first to Matthew's chagrin, and he could feel the pull of the chains around his feet and wrists as he followed Gilbert as close as their bounds would let them. His fingers tightened where Gilbert's chains sagged alongside his too thin wrist, feeling the pulse there thrum like a low buzz of static.

The arena was packed with people wearing blue uniforms. Matthew could catch the occasional splash of colour that were their badges, but there was obviously an agenda. He craned his neck to try to find Carlos, but to his despair he couldn't find him yet again. Internally, he hoped his friend was not attending.

As Matthew looked around, he could see a handful of mages bearing the royal army attire, their faces carefully neutral as they waited. They stared up at the frame that he could tell he and Gilbert were about to be bound to, but…why were they here?

What if they were here to alter the magical energy in the place…?

They hadn't seen Alfred nor Yao since that morning, but they had caught sight of Lady Emma and Sir Alfonso sitting quietly in a carriage as they were being escorted inside of their own. To his panic, Matthew quickly realized that Arthur was nowhere to be seen.

Knowing that Alfred wouldn't let anything happen to him, even at the cost of his brother's own safety, there wasn't much to conclude. Judging from Alfred's despondent face, there was only one explanation.

Arthur had left or was preparing to leave.

And it was all Matthew's fault…

"M-Matthew," Gilbert said, his voice hoarse from lack of usage. "Are you O-"

"Hush," Matthew said softly, nudging his chin forward to let his lips brush against his forehead; Gilbert was a little shorter by Matthew but due to his harsh treatment it was almost as if he had lost ground on that even more. "Take some rest. Not only for me, but for yourself."

"But my greatest weakness," Gilbert croaked, but Matthew saw a ghost of a smile make his way onto his face. "My crappy height and you."

"Don't give up," Matthew said, and almost laughed at his own words. Don't give up? What else could be taken away from them? He knew Gilbert was afraid for his brother and the Primary Suit in Hearts, once being part of them, but Matthew knew that Alfred and Yao would be beside themselves with worry. Kiku as well, and Arthur…he had simply contacted them all those months ago, but for them to lead to this, would they be caught?

But this was their fight for what lit the blood underneath their skin, what brought Gilbert a grin during drowsy Friday mornings, what made Matthew's eyes freeze in elation every time his curtain rustled.

It was nothing but love, and that alone made it worth fighting for.

"I'll fight to protect you," Gilbert said, and the determination searing in his exhausted eyes would have intimidated Matthew if it weren't dedicated to his protection. "I know you'll always have my back. I'll always have yours."

"I love you," Matthew whispered the phrase again and again, his nose seeking out the pounding of the heart that belonged to the boy he loved. "No matter the cost. They won't tear it away from us."

He could feel Gilbert's heavy breathing as the other affirmed his statement, and he could only hope that at the end of the day, it would still be by his side.

The sun was harsh against Arthur's eyelids as he wiped off the last crumbs of his breakfast from the corner of his lips, setting his teacup down with an unsteady hand. Anna had been called down for duty as it usually was, so he was all by himself for the time being.

His eyes lingered on the dip and the rise of the curves near the rim, against the gold lacing the edge of it as he weighed the options of the day in his mind.

Matthew and Gilbert would be tried today.

Arthur could see movements outside his window where the arena hosting the trial would happen; it seemed packed but mostly with blue colours. He could see others, presumable the army mages, standing outside, waiting to begin as two guards started to strap up two figures, no doubt Matthew and Gilbert. There was no confusion in his mind that there would be mass coverage of this event.

He mulled over it for another moment, before what he assumed was a magically amplified voice disturbed the atmosphere. Arthur couldn't hear a handful of words from where he was, and rushed to his window, trying to catch what they were saying.

"…naturally, the nullifiers we have placed in your chains will limit this, but Joker Gilbert, you must not interfere." the advisor – the top ones, the ones that had hurt Alfred, Arthur assumed with a clench in his throat. "We are here to determine the level of power that the Ace Matthew retains."

The mages around the arena moved forward, but their footsteps were laced with an uncertainty that spoke of reluctance. To him, it was very obvious that they did not want to do it - and if it were a simple test, they surely wouldn't have had that reaction.

Arthur's nails tightened against the windowsill, his heart constrained in his throat.

What in the name of the Fates were they going to make Matthew do?

The mage's dusky hair fell over their face, obscuring their eyes. Boots, palace fare, crunched over the granite that was carpeting Matthew's knees. He could almost taste their fear like he could feel his own.

Their apprehension lingered on their mouths as they walked up to the two of them. Matthew could hear them remove their gloves, the sound smooth like margarine spreading over a slice of bread. Their hands clenched in a fist and loosened, revealing a blue sheen lingering over their fingertips.

"Forgive me, my monarch," they said, lips moving only slightly to keep the statement silent. "Forgive me for what I am about to be made to do to you."

Matthew heard Gilbert take in a serrated breath, and he let their locked hands detach. The clink of metal against sand told him that Gilbert was trying to reach for him again, to secure a connection.

I must do this alone, Matthew told himself as he too followed the mage's movement, a far weaker light rippling in his hand. If…if something unspeakable happens to you today because of me, I could not begin to bear the burden.

The court knew how weak Matthew's magic was, in comparison to Alfred's brand of magic. So why would they ask him specifically…?

"You may – wait, hold it for a moment." the advisor said, the amplified voice spreading over the arena like a suffocating blanket. "Now, begin!"

What am I supposed to do? Matthew wondered desperately to himself, quickly conjuring up the most defensive spell he could bring to the forefront of his mind.

They had always respected him for his tactics, his planning – but now it was failing him. He knew that he could get a vantage point by moving away from the scaffolding and Gilbert, but whatever he did he could not leave Gilbert's side.

The mage lashed out first while he was lost in thought, left hand flinging a shower of blue magic that felt almost like a thick balm upon Matthew's skin – then started to burn.

Matthew felt like it had glued him to the floor as his wobbling legs froze from the agony. He watched the mage move with widened eyes, and saw another spell being thrown from his fingertips. He instinctively threw up his arms to deflect it, and brought the shield he wanted to conjure up to the forefront of his mind, but nothing but sputters came from his hands.

W-what? Matthew stumbled in his mind, trying to ignore the cuts opening up in his clothes. He could sense the mage was moving, somehow, and there were more, but there was a strange heaviness in his movements. I…I can't even summon a shield, I-

The nullifiers, he thought wildly to himself, his arms straining to try to summon it again. They must be weakening me. They must have been different to Gilbert's since they're stronger…

His breathing dipped, shallow and feeble as another spell struck him in the torso, and collapsed onto his knees, one hand scrabbling in the sand while he brought the other to his chest. Please, let me-

A cold force struck him, losing itself into Matthew's blond hair, and with a gasp of pain Matthew's cheek forced itself to the ground. The harsh winter air scalded his lungs, and he could see fissures in his glasses from the impact.

Up above the arena, an advisor took the wine glass sitting on the stand in front of them, taking a long and luxurious sip. She adjusted the purple badge pinned in front of her breastpocket and leaned forward, elation gleaming in her eyes.

"This is how we can unleash the tiger." she said, tucking a smile away against her lips.

Gilbert saw red.

He knew what Matthew was capable of, and was shocked to see that he couldn't summon even a shield, but the moment Matthew moved his arms defensively as if the chains didn't weigh on his wrists like his did, he knew that something was wrong.

Gilbert's chains were heavier, he had noticed that Matthew's didn't seem to carry the same burden like he did. He had first thought of this as a good thing, but once the first blow had struck and nothing came from Matthew's fruition, he could tell that they had placed nullifiers in his chains. They probably even went to the trouble of carving out the material in the binds, explaining exactly why they were lighter.

The moment Matthew's face hit the ground running, something seared in his blood. Gilbert didn't care to pull out his tail as part of his Joker duties, and made yet another attempt to wrench himself from the chains.

Matthew was stumbling to his feet, and he could see the blood flowing from the lacerations on his cheek, his glasses cracked on one side. The mages had stopped, uncertainty taking over their feet as they watched their broken monarch, but a cry from the advisors spurred them back on their feet – surely, ready to attack again.

Gilbert shut his eyes and conjured an explosion to match the one in his stomach, one that had sprung after seeing Matthew in such a state, and forced it to the front of his mind. The moment his pale hands made contact with the steel, he let go of the buildup.

What was only meant to be a small spurt of energy transformed into an eruption that sent him and the people close to the vicinity of the blast flying. Adrenaline surged through his system, but it took him precious moments to get back onto his feet before he could find Matthew.

And then he was there. Barely.

"What in the name of the Fates is he-" he muttered into her side, his hands twisting his purple badge between his forefingers. "I thought…"

"No, Darios, this is part of our plan," she crooned, leaning forward. "The boy would be set off."

"But that sort of magic…it would not be healthy," he said, a tint of worry working itself into his voice. "Even for power, we shouldn't be tainted by such magic."

"Oh, from up here it wouldn't do anything to us," she assured him, taking another sip. "Which is why I placed amplifiers in his chains instead of nullifiers."

"You – what?" he spluttered. "He's – he's a Joker! It might kill him!"

She smiled, placing her glass on the table in front of them before settling back into her chair, ignoring the cry of agony.

"Precisely."

"Matthew? Matthew, answer me…!" Gilbert screamed, cradling the Ace as if he were a babe. "I didn't-"

Matthew's lips were slightly parted, and as Gilbert dragged his chained hand to rest on top of his chest, he could feel a faint heartbeat. But it wasn't enough.

He needed to see Matthew's eyes, his smile, his arms around his neck…

"Birdie," he whispered, emotions washing over him like a tide threatening to drown him entirely. "Wake up, please...tell me you're all right-"

"Continue the trial, Ace Matthew!" a voice commanded, but Gilbert felt that he could hear nothing but his beloved's faint breathing – faint as it was, it was still there.

Matthew jerked in his arms, a cough forcing itself out of his body, but his eyes were distressed as one of his arms reached for Gilbert's shoulder. Gilbert leaned forward, trying to catch what he was trying to say, but-

"I said continue!" the advisor practically screamed, and in the corner of his vision Gilbert could see the soldiers advancing, blue dancing between their hands. Deadly weapons, woven between their fingers that would distort Matthew's magical energy to the point of no return.

Gilbert's heartbeat sped up. His breathing deepened. His pupils dilated, the world fragmented into little specks of light. He could see every strand of Matthew's hair, feel the wind generated from the flutter of the mages' capes. He heard every note of the crackles of the energy around their hands.

"Gilb…?" Matthew whispered, his eyes blinking weakly to look at him. "What are you-"

"Don't worry," Gilbert rasped, closing his eyes. "Everything's gonna be fine. I promise."

He stood up, carefully placing distance between him and Matthew, feeling the chains float along with him as he raised his hands, exhaling once.

"No more," he murmured, before he released the inferno in his head, scorching everyone in his wake.

Tiger unleashed.

(i am awaiting the rawr jokes, pls)

replies

mi chan kizanami - hey! haha at least it wasn't 90 chapters complete read from the start lol.

CFAA - you know what? you're 1000% right. please let them go on a trip to the bahamas

hearthorse11 - ahhh thank you, it meant a lot then and it still does now. haha, i doubt in this publishing atmosphere they'd be willing to accept gay fanfiction, but i'm all the more thankful for an audience that has stuck with me. i'm always really happy seeing your reviews, so thank you for that ;u;

pastaaddict - i doubt that! perhaps an abnormally large one?

vivadragnire - well, i wouldn't say gilbert breaks out, but...he does something huge.

russia says hello (lmao, i couldn't forget your user even if i tried) - i feel you as the literal epitome of the 'this is fine' meme. you may have tissues and hugs

n kukuri chan - i am receptive to tea! regarding your first point, i really tried to take the concept of 'show not tell' with this section concerning prucan. since prussia has a 'reputation' (btt lmfao), i think in this au it would be a bit more striking that he has committed himself so deeply to matthew and vice versa, although matthew was expected to find a partner but was so well regarded as sensible by the rest of the suits that they would not have found him in blatant defiance of the law.

and yep, i can definitely see your point. i believe that some aspects, such as prucan's familiarity and usuk's very powerful instant connection that was so quickly developed are foils to each other, but some other aspects as you mentioned, such as the whole difficulty of the process and the two of them still feeling very strongly for each other is definitely a shared rhetoric. and writing yao's view - someone who i think is the most 'impartial' in this stance, really communicates how wrong the whole situation is. he loves alfred and matthew as his sons, and the two of them feel that he is like their father after what they have gone through, so their bond is extremely strong. (also that last section was pretty powerful. sounds like a trailer to an action film ;D)

and no, you didn't! i love reading your insights so by all means, go on. :)

infinite hope - we shall see ;) haha thank you! i know that there's always a risk with quite a number of side pairings but i was hoping with different kinds of relationships, it would keep the story engaging!

reviews, favourites and follows are what will keep me writing, so please go ahead and leave them!