i'm quite nervous with this chapter...i hope that you all enjoy it!

as always, i do not own the selection nor hetalia. these belong to kiera cass and himaruya hidekaz respectively.

Allistor's gloves were stained with the smell of coffee by the time Dylan's mop of hair was buried in his stomach, his little nose like a pinprick with the force he had run into him.

"Allistor!" Dylan sang, his eyes gleaming with excitement. "You didn't forget to pick me up today!"

"Ahh, hush," Allistor chided, but ruffled his brother's hair fondly. "Got off work today. Managed to convince my boss to let me off early since I have a certain wee one to pick up."

"You know it," Dylan said, and turned around to wave goodbye to his teachers – one in particular, her hair falling over her shoulders as she raced to meet the two of them.

"Er, Dy? Have you done something odd at school today?" Allistor asked, raising a thick eyebrow at her. "Your teacher seems...very enthusiastic."

"But Allistor," Dylan said, and Allistor knelt a little lower to adjust his scarf in the cold. Even though the new year had just passed, winter still hadn't loosened its harsh grip on Hearts and Christian had bundled him up that morning in a messy heap of scarves. While they did keep Dylan's little neck warm, the sight was a bit messy.

"She teaches the higher years, not me. I dunno…the one thing I did do was play pirates in the water trough and the girl I splashed didn't bring extra clothes and had to go home, even though I wanted to go home early too but they wouldn't let me!"

"It is, look!" the teacher said, and two other teachers, looking at Allistor and Dylan's direction, now joined her as they huddled near the school gates. "Trudy teaches his class and he's a Kirkland. Also, those eyebrows."

"…Dy, you know it's OK if you tell me what went wrong," Allistor said slowly, sliding a distrusting eye at the cluster of teachers. "I won't tell Erin if you do it, umm, in the next few moments."

"I'm telling you!" Dylan pouted. "I dunno why they're being so mean."

"H-Hi," one of the teachers said, having approached Allistor while he was distracted with his little brother. "Are you little Dylan's…father, by any chance?"

"What?" Allistor groused, trying to make his exasperation clear. "No, miss. Nice try. Christ, if I do look so old Fates help me…"

"Ah, um…you must be his brother, then!" she said, her eyes bright. Allistor tried not to grab Dylan by the coat and bolt past the gates when he saw the two other teachers approach. "It's so nice to meet you."

"Sure. Erm, what do you want from us, exactly?" Allistor asked, wincing a little when Dylan's little arms wrapped around his leg and squeezed. "Has this little tyke 'ere caused you some trouble?"

"No, of course not – we'd just like to ask you a few questions," she said, and Allistor got a suspicious feeling in the pit of his stomach. "I mean…! Seeing that you're Arthur Kirkland's family, that is…after what happened yesterday, we thought that they might contact you."

"…I'm sorry, I haven't been contacted," Allistor said slowly. "After the trial of the Joker and the Ace, I'm…actually not quite sure what to think. I'm just really worried about my brother's safety."

"Aw, that's so sweet. If it's all right, could you let us know?" they asked, but the question had already implanted itself in Allistor's mind, sowing the seeds of fear. What if Arthur had been hurt, somehow…?

"I'll see what I can do, missus," he said, knowing at the back of his mind that he wouldn't as he scooped up Dylan's backpack, slung it over his shoulder and went home in a hurry.

"Hey, Erin," Allistor said, seeing her messy bun peek out from behind the peeling kitchen wall. "Me again – I wanted to ask you something."

"Hm? Can it wait until after dinner? Cormac's not home yet, and I don't trust Christian after the incident with the lost finger," her voice came back. "Did something go wrong with Dy at school today?"

"Uh, no, but something did happen." Allistor said, turning back for a moment to watch Dylan open his schoolbag and get his homework out – apparently he was settling himself in with some colouring. "I think you should know – well, really, the whole family, but Christian and Cormac will be here in time for dinner, I suppose."

"I'm worried Christian's definition of dinner will soon be tied up with the concept of eating mixed nuts at a bar top, but right," Erin said. "All right, Allistor, out with it. Fates forbid, if I burn these vegetables you're eating all of them."

"Resistant, thanks to Artie's cooking," Allistor replied, but hesitated a little on his little brother's name. "…well, about Arthur…there's something that I picked up on today."

"You left early for work so you could pick Dylan up from school, right?" Erin asked, lowering the heat on the newly revamped stove that they had bought with the funds from Arthur's participation in the Deciding. "I doubt that you'd have some time to catch coverage on the TV they have there."

"Yeah, they don't even have a TV, the stingy gits. One of the teachers…they brought up something that's been happening in the palace. I thought you'd know since you follow that thing like a hawk – the thing with the Joker and the Ace." Allistor said.

"…right, that," Erin said after a moment, her face crumpling. "That was so unfair. But there's been a media blackout after yesterday, so there hasn't been any coverage today. I can only wonder what Artie's going through…"

"Some teachers at Dylan's school were asking me about how Arthur was doing," Allistor began slowly, his green eyes fixing on the wooden spatula lying on the kitchen island. "And it occurred to me that he could be hurt. As we're family, there's got to be some way that we can contact the palace for follow up. We had their number when Artie called us in, uh, November?"

"It was a private number, if I remember rightly for security purposes," Erin sighed, brushing away a lock of her hair with her wrist. "Can you go get the paperwork he filled out before the process? It's on the top right shelf of my dresser next to my bed. The folder's blue."

"So complicated," Allistor muttered, but was already moving to the arch that led out of the kitchen.

"What did you say?" Erin whipped around, eyes narrowed, but her lips curving in the smallest hint of a smile. "Do stop complaining, dear brother. The only woman in the house is making dinner. Now shoo."

"You're the boss," Allistor said sarcastically.

"Right on, genius." came the retort, signature of the Kirkland house.

In Spades, where something other than dark clouds signify the first rainfall to greet the palace.

Where even the most blue of blood are not safe from human emotion.

Matthew's heartbeat rose and fell in time with Gilbert's breaths, almost like a lily that curled and shriveled in a matter of moments – it lived, but it was hanging onto it by a thread.

Katya had screamed as if it was herself lying on that cot the moment she saw Gilbert's still body – she was inconsolable for a good hour or two. Even Matthew had left them alone, sitting outside the infirmary watching her cry and say things that only a pair of Jokers would ever share between them.

The whole palace was in a state of either limbo or uproar – Yao had been on the port the moment after he was awakened to both Diamonds and Clubs, no doubt trying to fetch allies. Alfred had been largely quiet after he had confessed to Matthew that he had to stop time in order for the uncontrollable distortion to stop, and Matthew hadn't seen him since. And Matthew himself…

…well, he hadn't left Gilbert's side ever since Katya had come out from the room and told Matthew that she was going to do everything in her power to try to heal him, and that she trusted that he was going to do the same.

They said that his magical energy had been so disrupted by the prolonged distortion that it was out of control. There was nothing they could do but wait for it either to stabilize, and Matthew felt so useless as he held Gilbert's cold hand in his warm ones.

What could they tell Ludwig…?

"Forgive me," Matthew whispered, clasping Gilbert's hands together and resting his lips against them. "…please, forgive me, Gil…I can't go on without you…"

He watched tightly for any notion of movement, any soft sound melting past his lips or a flutter of his eyelashes like the ones in fairytales that he had been told when he was still sitting on his father's knee.

As if trying to console Gilbert – even himself, Matthew brushed away a few strands of Gilbert's silvery hair with the base of his wrist as he remembered that he had done the first night they had made love. He could feel a hint of warmth on the pale skin, but nothing more.

"You know I can't live with remembering that you had given your life to save mine," Matthew begged, his tears staining the surface of his large glasses, but he was too consumed with grief to wipe them away. "Gilbird needs you. Ludwig needs you. What would Francis and Antonio do without you? . I…I need you too."

He sat there for the rest of the afternoon, waiting for the moment Gilbert's hand would wrap around his and he'd pull Matthew forward into a kiss, mischief dancing in his eyes as he teased Matthew – did you think that they would get the awesome me so easily?

It never came, and Matthew only heard the sound of his heavy sobs instead of Gilbert's laughter like he so desperately wished for.

Gilbert's only response to the event was a beep from the heart rate monitor that was hooked up to him, and Matthew looked tightly at where his other hand was fiddling with the bed sheets, the nails caught tightly in it as if it were a lifeline.

Perhaps it was.

"I've got him on the line," Allistor mouthed, cupping the household phone to his ear. Erin nodded, shushing Dylan and Christian – the former trying to do his homework and the latter doodling monkeys on the paper. Cormac was washing up in the kitchen, and would join the rest of the family later.

"Who? Is it Artie? Artie, Artie, it's m-" Dylan began, but Christian scooped him up and placed him in his lap, shushing him a little with a shake of his head.

"Yes, it's me, Your Highness. May I have a private word with you now?" Allistor said, Erin watching closely behind him.

"…but of course, Mr Kirkland," Alfred replied, his compressed voice coming out of the receiver. "I'm in my study as of right now, and I've made sure that there isn't anyone else here. Is there something I can help you with…?"

"Definitely. Your Highness, may I know what's happened to my wee brother?" Allistor demanded.

"…" there was a moment of silence on the other side of the line, and it was only disturbed by Cormac coming in from the kitchen to the living room, untying his apron and sitting on the floor next to Christian and Dylan.

"I'm sorry I haven't contacted you before, seeing that it's been a few hard days," Alfred said.

"I understand, Your Highness, and I'm very sorry for what your brother was forced into. But I would just like to know what happened with Arthur, please." Allistor said calmly.

"Is there anyone with you?" Alfred asked, after yet another pause. From that alone, Allistor knew that it was not something good.

"It's just my family. I feel that they deserve to know, don't you think?" he replied, trying to keep his tone as even as possible. "In fact, I was actually going to ask you if I could share. But if you'd not want them to listen-"

"No, I…I think they deserve to know. What's happened to him." Alfred said, his voice quiet. "Please, they deserve to know."

Allistor relayed this back to his waiting family to responses of apprehension. The way he had phrased it told that something other than the disastrous trial had taken a toll on him.

"He's been unconscious since yesterday." Alfred began to gasps from the Kirkland family. Allistor first felt faint, then some semblance of anger boil underneath his skin. The prince had promised to protect him, which was why Allistor had given his blessing…

The night of the Halloween party, where Allistor has just excused himself from his family and followed Prince Alfred to the gardens, where the other boy is standing next to the fountains, intimidation painted all over his face.

"Uh, Mr Kirkland, I…I wanted to ask you something tonight, before I forgot, really." Alfred stammered, and Allistor couldn't help but feel that he did look rather young and childish, the way Arthur had teased him about, dressed in a cowboy costume and holding some felt horse thing.

"Well, all right, Your Highness." Allistor said.

"It's about your brother, Art – Arthur," Alfred said. "I'm not sure what he's told you about our relationship, but you understand what the point of this whole process is. It's for me to find a suitable queen, one that the Fates and I think is good for the kingdom of Spades. But I've never really seen that as the main part of the process, really, uh, I guess it's more about the finding love bit that I've been working towards, heh."

"Oh?" Allistor said, cocking an eyebrow. "Let me get this straight, you're going to marry my brother?"

"H-Uh!" Alfred blushed, and Allistor let a smile drift onto his face. Perhaps this kid wasn't as bad as he thought? "W-Well, not so fast cause I don't think he's that ready, but I-I'd be honoured to, when the time comes."

"Essentially, you invited me down here to…" Allistor asked.

"I would like you to give me your blessing," Alfred said, and he straightened himself, tilting a little on his cowboy boots so he appeared just a little taller. "When the time's right, I want to propose to your brother."

"...interesting," Allistor said, pursuing his mouth in interest. With all of Erin's geeking out about the Deciding, she'd never mentioned this part. "Well. On a few conditions."

"Yes, Mr Kirkland," Alfred said, and Allistor bit back a laugh – it was as if he was talking to Arthur's father and not his older brother. "Whatever it takes."

"Give up the crown," Allistor said, but at the flash of surprise that flit into Alfred's eyes he tch-ed and brushed it off with a gleam in his green eyes. "Nah, Your Highness. I'm just messing with you."

"It's no problem," Alfred said, but Allistor could still see the embarrassment in his face. Aw. Perhaps Arthur did have decent taste.

"Well. First of all, you've got to promise me that you'll take care of Arthur," Allistor said, leaning against the back wall of the palace, facing the trees in the garden and Alfred. "I don't mean you assigning more maids or guards or whatever, no. I mean you personally, as his husband, put him first. Both mentally and physically."

"Of course, sir," Alfred said, his expression deadly serious behind those thick spectacles. "I'll devote myself to him."

"Good, good. Second is that Arthur's a very – well – high maintenance boy. Stroppy, high strung, grumpy, picky, fussy…all of that jazz you've gotta deal with. If you don't accept those parts of him with the, erm, good parts, you don't truly love him. Got it?"

"Y-yeah," Alfred said, and Allistor noticed the way his face instantly softened and his tight shoulders relaxed. Taking this as a good sign, he continued. "I won't forget it."

"Third," Allistor continued, "Is that you – and Arthur, naturally – take the role of being married seriously. I don't want my brother to be a quote on quote 'trophy wife', and I certainly won't be happy if either of you take on a mistress. Marriage is a responsibility, and if anything comes between the two of you, I expect you to talk it out and do your best, not just give up."

"Of course, Mr Kirkland," Alfred said. "The relationship between Artie and I means a lot to me. I won't give it up that easily."

"All right. For now, I'll give my blessing…but don't forget, I can remove at any time if I don't think my wee brother doesn't deserve you. Understand?" Allistor said, stepping forward intimidatingly, furrowing the signature Kirkland eyebrows. "And prince or no prince, you don't want an angry sibling, let alone five, to have it out for you."

Alfred swallowed – clearly the intimidation had worked. "I…I understand, s-sir."

"Your Highness…what?" Allistor said, his voice deathly cold. "Tell me you're joking."

"I wish I was, Mr Kirkland," Alfred said. "The Joker Gilbert's power was overwhelming, and as the heir of Spades, the Fates let me bend time to stop him – but not without a cost. That burden was shared between Jack Yao and Arthur…he hasn't woken up yet."

"What did you do to him? I swear to the Fates, if he's in a coma-" Allistor bit out. That little-

The moment the word was spoken, a hush almost seemed to fall around the small living room.

"Your Highness?!" In a moment, Erin had snatched the phone from Allistor's hard grasp and clutched it so tightly to her ear that her knuckles turned white. "Is he…is he…?"

"Miss Erin," Alfred said, and the shock was audible in his voice. "I'm…sorry, but he's not in a coma. We think that the reason he's unconscious right now is that he gave some of his magical energy to me, which I've tried my best to transfer, but they won't let me in again. I'll try right after I finish this call, but I had to pick up. I'm sorry. It's only right that you know."

"…You promised to look after him!" Allistor shouted, pulling the phone from Erin, anger searing in his eyes. "Listen to me well-"

"Erin? What's…is Artie really in a coma?" Cormac said, his voice unsteady. "What happened in the palace? Is it that bad-"

"What's a co-ma?" Dylan lisped, but seeing the worried atmosphere of the family spooked him. "Chris, I don't like it…"

"Erin, what's wrong?" Christian demanded, holding tighter onto the restless Dylan. "Tell us!"

"You swore to me that night that you would take care of Arthur no matter what, Prince Alfred," Allistor said coldly. "If that's not being honoured, I'm not sure he deserves you. He has told us that he's been quite upset a few times throughout this whole process."

"That's my fault, entirely," Alfred said, and his voice was subdued. Erin touched Allistor's shoulder at the sound, a concerned expression on her face.

"Ohy. Some things he can't control, including this," Erin mouthed. "Don't be too hard on him."

"He's not at Arthur's bedside right now," Allistor said loudly, making sure that Alfred could hear. "Not waiting for him to wake up. And I daresay he didn't have a role in Joker Gilbert and Ace Matthew's trial."

"It's not your choice to make," Erin retaliated. "At least give him and Artie that. And what do you know about it?"

"…" Allistor didn't say anything, but the way he stuffed his hand in his pocket and fiddled with the phone in his hand showed him thinking again. Erin was right. It was Arthur's life, after all – it mattered far more to him than any monarch would ever. And some things not even Alfred could change.

But Alfred hadn't kept Arthur safe, and he very well could be in the point of no return thanks to his actions, as well as that deadly trial. All the other incidents Arthur had fretted about had added up, and Allistor knew he had to take some sort of action.

"Forty eight hours," Allistor said, turning back to the phone and watching his family. "Your Highness, you have forty eight hours to both convince me that what you feel for Arthur is genuine, and for Arthur to talk to us. If this doesn't happen, I'm retracting my blessing. No take backs."

"…yes, Mr Kirkland," came the reply, and with that the phone shut off and their connection to their little brother.

"You better not make me regret this!" Allistor shouted again, staring down despairingly at the piece of plastic. "Prince or no prince, I won't forgive you."

"I…I need you, too."

His eyes blinked open to the fading sunlight of the infirmary, and he wet his mouth, the dryness overwhelming most of the other sensations surrounding him – the waves of artificial warmth cascading against his skin, the stiff blankets, the starched pillow, the cold charm on his chest. He felt a lethargic exhaustion that slowly loosened its grip on him the quicker he regained his consciousness.

"…fuck, thank the Fates," a voice said, choking on its words, and Arthur's eyes flitted to the direction of the sound, and it was Alfred – his eyes glazed with tears.

"-lfred?" Arthur mumbled, sleep numbing his senses. "Alfred, is that-"

"Does anything seem weird?" Alfred asked, but there was a pleading in his tone that Arthur had never experienced before. "Arthur, are you OK? Please, tell me that you're-"

"Um, I don't understand," he said groggily, propping himself up on his elbows. "Has something happened?"

"…no," Alfred said, but from the way he hesitated and the fact that he looked to his left told Arthur it was a very obvious lie. "I was worried about you."

"I trust you," Arthur began slowly, knowing that he was once again breaching a quite difficult subject of trust. "Please, Alfred, tell me. Don't keep this burden to yourself."

Alfred twisted his fingers in between each other, hesitating before opening his mouth to speak.

"I wanted…I wanted to know if you're leaving."

"What?" Arthur said, now wide-awake – what was this? Didn't he and Alfred pledge two days ago that they would go ahead to solve their problems together? "I thought-"

"I talked to your siblings a few minutes ago before coming to see you," Alfred said. "I really hoped that you'd be awake when I came back, but…you remember how I asked for Allistor's blessing during Halloween."

"Yes." The title of the event alone took Arthur back so far so fast that he felt as if he had aged in the space of that moment.

"He threatened to take it back when I told him what had happened," Alfred said morosely, looking down at his joined hands. "He said forty eight hours."

"You're not serious," Arthur whispered, burying his face in his hands. "Is there anything we can do…?"

"He said that I had to prove what I felt for you was genuine," Alfred began. Green eyes met blue, before Alfred looked away with guilt written all over his skin. "But I don't want to force you into anything. But do you want this? After all I've done to you?"

"I…what if I were to go home?" Arthur asked quietly. "Would you prefer it like that?"

Alfred was silent as he turned, the heel of his shoe scraping the infirmary floor. His expression was unreadable, but Arthur couldn't take his eyes from him. From what they had to go through the past week, he couldn't say that Alfred looked old per se, but rather he had matured, a tint of weariness covering his expression even now – but he didn't look any less handsome as the day Arthur had met him for the first time.

"Of course not," Alfred said, the sound coming out like a sob as he bit his lip. "Why would I want you to leave?"

"…did you forget what I did to you? Gilbert wouldn't be in the condition he is now if I told you about the two of them earlier," Arthur blurted, legs shifting so he could move out of the bed. "Can you forgive me? I-I don't even deserve you…!"

Suddenly, Alfred moved forward, moving out of his chair and coming to embrace Arthur, his trembling hands caressing his face.

"It doesn't matter," he whispered, and Arthur could see the tears threatening to fall from his lashes. "It doesn't matter to me. Not anymore. I need you to know."

"Why?" Arthur begged, feeling his throat clog up at Alfred's closeness.

"Because…because…" Alfred stammered, and Arthur looked into his blue eyes desperately.

"I love you," Alfred said, letting his fingers linger on Arthur's face as he let it sink in.

And then he was gone, with Arthur's heart in his hands and his breath taken away.

93 chapters. whew.

replies

CFAA - aww, that makes me feel bad (somewhat, haha.) i always have tissues!

mi chan kizanami - oh god now you mention it, you do have a point...i know you'll be a great hitman ;D

hearthorse11 - ah, finally the chaos is sort of (?) over with this chapter? that idea's still up for grabs tho.

pastaddict - i'm sorry, i really am-

vivadragnire - funnily enough, it's been a headcanon of mine for a while that he's this really dramatic mage, cape sweeps and all.

russia says hello - i have mocks next week, i feel you. and an excuse to geek out over les mis is always up my alley.

mygenderisunicorn2004 - you'll find out! ;)

n kukuri chan - thank you for all your points (as always, they're amazing jesus). good picking up on that, there is another reason but it's coming soon! and yes to that idea, lol. i'm always really interested in what you guys think! the origin story/etc is something i've always been really eager to explore, so please don't worry. the whole magic thing is a part of the cardverse i'm interested in exploring, so...

about the prucan ending, there's definitely a lot of things that the two (or one, hmm) of have to go through, so i hope to elaborate on that bit. and thank you very much! i've always got lovely messages about these scenes since chara development/emotions are things i'm rather insecure about, whoops. the clock is something that's nothing really to do with their canon designs since the clock in arthur's art is a lot larger than the one alfred gave him, so it's just a very sweet present as alfred uses his privileges as a prince to kind of pamper arthur the way he thinks he deserves to be pampered.

and thank you very much for the heracles and kiku bits! i really love giripan's dynamic/aesthetic and i don't see much of them, so i tried to do them justice. please be safe from that bathroom cubicle, lmao. i wish you good luck with your legs ;D

reviews, favourites and follows are what will keep me writing, so please go ahead and leave them!