happy christmas children
so basically with exams/trip double whammy, i've not had much time to catch my breath! but i've got this as an extra present, huehue. i hope you all enjoy!
also! before you faint away at the stunning new cover, the artist is ami-v-dragnire tumblr and VivaDragnire FFNet (go on, wave, amie! ;o)
as always, i do not own the selection nor hetalia. these belong to kiera cass and himaruya hidekaz respectively.
Arthur first sought out Anna to fetch Jack Yao for him – Alfred or no Alfred, he had to contact his family first. The idea that his whole family was concerned about him made him feel even more ill, and within half an hour he was phoning his family again, with trembling hands. Anna initially had been surprised when he had plopped himself on his bed and asked her, but the moment he told her that he wasn't quote on quote 'authorised', she grinned and let it slide.
"…hello?" Allistor's voice came through the phone, and it was not a pleasant sound. "Who's this calling?"
"Um. Hello, Allist-" Arthur began, but was quickly silenced with a triumphant scream.
"Oh, thank the Fates!" Allistor was exclaiming, and Arthur could hear the clamours of his family in the background as the sound would have naturally alerted them. He could hear the low ambience of the television and the thrum of footsteps as they approached. Night was rapidly falling on Spades as he paced the room, clutching the phone and looking outside the window. "You're all right, I was thinking the worst when-"
"I just had a glorified nap, that's all," Arthur said, feeling a little embarrassed. "I'm so sorry I couldn't let you know what was happening, they wouldn't-"
"That doesn't matter now," Allistor began, but the phone was snatched away by Erin who proceeded to scream in his ear.
"Arthur James Kirkland, if you dare give us such a scare next time I will personally end you," she said, half crying, half laughing. "You wee bairn, you had all of us worried sick."
"Erin," Arthur said, relaxing – she seemed much better than Allistor had told him about in his letters, and it felt so relieving to hear that she was her old self again. "I'm so glad you're better."
"It was nothing, it was just some cold." she said dismissively. "But look at you, saving some lives back at the palace! Charging off to save the world."
"It's not like that at all!" Arthur protested, but he was truly laughing for the first time in what seemed like so many dreary days. "Really, it is. I'm worried about you back home – has the winter let off in Hearts?"
"Well, yes," Erin said, and Arthur could hear the brush of her hair against the receiver. "It's getting warmer by the day, and Dylan's passed without a sniffle, thank the Fates. OHY! Get your lazy, drunk ar-"
A muffled set of footsteps echoed around the room, and Arthur gingerly held the phone, ears battered after Erin's shouting. There was a bit of shuffling around, and with a crackle Cormac's voice replaced hers.
"Oh, hey, Artie," Cormac said breathlessly; Arthur could hear his heavy breath and loosening of his scarf against the receiver. "Sorry, Chris and I were going out for drinks. We'll bring you next time, yeah?"
"How many rum balls did you have tonight?" Arthur teased, comforted with the familiar rumble of his brother's laugh. "Hasn't Allistor given you a lengthy lecture about influencing Chris?"
"He's old enough, can hold a drink well enough. Even though he still sleeps with that ghastly stuffed koala thing. You holding up there? Sorry I haven't visited you a lot. When was the last time we saw each other?" Cormac said.
"Last year during the summer, when they let us visit for a week, I think."
"Right, well, that's no good for brothers-"
"-Sister as well!" came Erin's complaint-
"-and a sister, never mind how much flak we dole out. But still. I hope you'll have space for me in your new world once…things happen. No pressure, though."
"Always," Arthur said softly, smiling a little before snapping out of his reverie. "Um. Gross."
"I know what you're like, Art," Cormac chuckled. "Hm. Even if Allistor and Erin nag you about your Deciding thing, you'll always have me to nod along and listen. The folks at work say I'm too quiet all the time, b-"
"Ohy, Cormac! Your sister and I do not nag-" Allistor's thinly veiled protest came over the phone, and Arthur snorted for real, leading to a flurry of protest.
"What I meant," Cormac struggled to say, but his moment was figuratively and literally snatched as Christian purloined the phone.
"Don't believe what he said about Kylie," Christian said passionately about his stuffed koala, and Arthur could sense that his brother was trying to create a sense of normality for him. By his tone, he could tell that he had been worried these few days, but all the seriousness and confusion had disappeared in the presence of his family. "She's not ugly, she's just…misunderstood!"
"Since you were a babe, right?" Arthur laughed, and the bellow of Christian's laughter seemed to shake the room even in Spades. "Really, though, don't let Cormac drag you into the drinking lifestyle. It's going to be me next, then poor Dylan."
"The squirt was stopped outside of school the other day, which is why Allistor decided to phone," Christian confided. "Some overly nosy teachers got him scared."
"What?" Arthur asked, twisting the buttons of his jacket against his finger. "Did they – how did they-"
"It's been all over the news where we can get it, mate," Christian said. "Might have been media blackout for a few days, but after the Broadcast the royalty did, talk's been going all around. Even my colleagues won't shut up about it, and they don't seem to care about anything."
"They had a Broadcast?" Arthur echoed. "I didn't know that. We've been kept on lockdown here as well, until re-"
"…Chris?" a voice – another, this was the drawbacks of having a large family – and Arthur instantly realized it was Dylan. It being so late, he should have had gone to bed, but the whole family congregating in the living room must have caused some disturbance.
"Oh? Dy, I thought Erin sent you to bed at nine," he heard Christian say, but after a moment he returned to the phone, hearing the family's gentle chiding of their youngest member. "Do you want to talk to Artie?"
"Can I?" Dylan lisped, and Arthur's heart melted at the sound of his adorable little brother – he had missed his smile ever since Christmas, among other things. "Artie, it's me…"
"Hallo, Dylan," Arthur said, sitting down on his bed and crossing his legs, holding the phone closer to his ear. "How have you been? Treating everyone well, I hope?"
"Duh," Dylan replied, and Arthur could almost hear his pout and his subdued voice. "You didn't come to talk with me when Allistor was calling, boo."
"Ah…I was taking a nap, Dy. I was really tired, but I'm sorry." Arthur said awkwardly, scratching the side of his face. "I didn't mean to…"
"Will you come home?" Dylan asked suddenly, and Arthur jolted in surprise. When had he mentioned the possibility of returning…
"Everyone misses you heaps, even if Chris won't say it out loud," Dylan said quietly, and he could hear Christian blanch. "I liked it when you and Chris took care of me, but you don't call that much…it sucks. I wanna see you again."
"Me too, Dy…I don't know, though," Arthur said nervously. "I want to come back, but not just right now. There are things I have to do here before going back. I'm sorry…"
"I guess I get it," Dylan said, and Arthur tensed for a moment. "It's really nice there, right? Allistor said you're having trouble though."
"Don't worry, Dylan," Arthur said, closing his eyes for a moment. "Your big brother's got it under control, yes?"
"You can be cool when you want to," Dylan teased, all of them laughing. "Can we have some sweeties when we see each other again?"
"Whatever you'd want, Dylan," Arthur grinned.
"Um, for starters I liked those str-" Dylan began, but the phone was dislodged again.
"Right, you little minx, it's off to bed again for you," Cormac said, and Arthur could hear Dylan's excited squeals being carried away.
"He's been wanting to talk to you for a while, Art," Allistor confided in him later, when everything had died down and Cormac and Christian had started preparing for bed, leaving just him and Erin. "Sorry about the hustle and bustle. But…can I ask you something?"
"Is it about the thing you discussed with the crown prince while I was sleeping?" Arthur asked, and Erin confirmed it quietly, bringing him all the reassurance he needed.
"It's been forty six hours," Allistor said. "And with the Broadcast, we've had good reason to believe that the prince is a decent man. So. I won't do anything too drastic as of now, but your beau's on a tight leash over here."
"Artie," Erin began. "Are you sure you're happy over there, though? You know there's always a place over here for you, come what may. We do miss you, no matter what Allistor says – ohy!"
"Please don't make this any more sappy that it needs to be," Allistor groaned. "If, well, you can get ahold of the prince for a touch, I'd like to speak to him again. If that's fine with you."
You as much as me, Allistor, Arthur thought internally – but noticed the Jack standing outside his room again. He had probably rambled on for too long…
"W-Well. Sorry, Allistor, Erin, I have to go," Arthur said, trying to hold onto the memory of his family for another moment. "I'll write back as soon as I can, promise. If anything else happens I'll let you know first."
"I know you will, Art," Allistor sighed. "Even so, I'll always look out for you, br-"
"What old, stuck up Alli means to say is that enjoy yourself, Artie," Erin interrupted, playfulness woven into the sentence. "Love you, wee bairn. Goodnight!"
"Goodnight, Erin-!" Arthur began, but the phone shut off and he was holding the piece of plastic blankly in his hand. That was certainly…odd.
But it did quell some of his homesickness.
"If there's anything I can do to make it up to y-"
"Alfred."
He paused, blood cold yet thrumming through his chest as he turned to the door of the infirmary. His dog yapped once, but stayed quiet – clearly, the person they knew.
Ludwig was standing there – had dinner really ended so quickly? – with a surprised expression on his face, one that instantly sent guilt rushing in Alfred's head as he awkwardly got up from Gilbert's bedside and acknowledged his best friend.
"…sorry, Lud," Alfred said cautiously, tucking his hands into the pockets of his jacket. "I shouldn't have left dinner like that. It wasn't nice, especially cause you were visiting."
"No, it's…hard for everyone right now. I should go, I…I'll let you spend more time with him," Ludwig said, but Alfred shook his head, blue eyes glinting behind his glasses with a plea. "Y-Yes?"
"Give me five minutes, if that's OK? I'll see you in your room, if that's fine." Alfred said.
"Hm? Yes, absolutely," Ludwig said, bending down to pet Hero for a moment. The unusually awkward exchange ended quickly as the door closed and Alfred tried to finish his pitiful apology to the friend's life he ruined.
"…I promise I'll protect Matthew, in your place," Alfred said, nodding fiercely and squeezing his eyes tightly. "And I'll tell Lud about what happened. I owe you that much. But for now…take a break, yeah? I-I might need some pointers about the magic technique we talked about last time."
He stood up to leave, Hero quickly following suit, feeling that at least some of the guilt had left his shoulders from what he thought looked like a slightly more content expression on Gilbert's face.
"Come on, Al, you can sit. I've just requested a maid to give us some coffee," Ludwig said, cape gone in place of a casual robe after his shower. Alfred searched for his matching Iron Cross, but quickly he remembered the one matching Matthew's was dangling from a heavily pregnant Feliciano's neck, and another pang of guilt shot through him. "Little Hero can come rest as well."
His best friend should be with his husband, not dealing with a problem that he had helped create.
"Y…Yeah, thanks," Alfred said gingerly, taking both cups of coffee in his trembling hands and handing one to Ludwig, climbing next to him and sipping quietly, propping himself next to him on his ornate bed. "Hero's gonna make himself at home, I think."
"He's as well behaved around you than my trio at home and Feli's Portia," Ludwig said as if trying to reassure him, but it only served to drive the fact that he shouldn't have to have come here in the first place. "Alfred…are you OK? You've been looking odd."
"I'm…I'm sorry, Ludwig," Alfred said, his voice burning with shame. "This shouldn't have happened. You should be at home with Feli, looking after him. It's the New Year – this shouldn't have-"
"Duchess, Al, it wasn't your fault," Ludwig began, but Alfred shook his head fiercely. Their eyes met, stricken and confused.
"But it was, Lud," Alfred said, looking at him as if he bore the weight of the world on his shoulders at the moment. "I caught Matthew talking about it."
Alfred let himself watch his best friend's astonished expression before dropping their gaze, rubbing the duvet between his shaking fingers. The silence felt like knives slicing into his flesh, and he allowed himself to feel the pain, as if it could somehow reverse all his sins.
"…how?" Ludwig asked, in the deathly silent tone that would have caused nearly anyone else to bolt in the opposite direction, but Alfred knew he wouldn't be a coward.
Even if it meant losing his friendship.
"I heard…Matthew talk about their relationship when I was going through the next room," Alfred said thickly, quick to filter out Arthur's involvement in any of this. "I realized was what happening, then I had to confront him."
"You then organized this….this convoluted punishment for them?" Ludwig said, and there was no mistaking the chill in his tone. "Straight after hearing the story, without going forward to ask him to get more clarification?"
"No, that's not what happened. I…I went to Yao the moment I found out, but while we were there an advisor was in the room and I should have stopped, I know, but they wouldn't let me or Matthew leave and then it started spiraling out of control and the next thing I knew-" Alfred stammered, before releasing himself and crumpling, sobs pushing themselves out of his throat and into his hands. His vision blurred and his glasses grew damp with his tears as he curled in on himself. "I'm sorry, Ludwig. I'm so, so sorry…"
"…" Silence reigned king over the room where they sat, Alfred biting his lip and desperately trying not to make more of a fool of himself.
Out of the corner of his blurry vision, he saw Ludwig's hand move forward on the bed, inching closer to his but not quite touching, as if he was filled with apprehension.
"…you didn't sentence them to anything. And that's…that's what I thought you had done when you told me," Ludwig said, releasing a shuddering breath. "Swear on the Fates that you didn't hurt them beyond that. With that, I…I could start to live with that knowledge."
"I'd rather do that to myself than my own brother," Alfred said dully. "I don't deserve your forgiveness, Lud. H-Hate me for all you want, but I had to let you know."
"I won't hate you. I can't forget our friendship, Al, but…I need time to forgive," Ludwig said slowly, turning away as if he could forget his friend's crestfallen expression. "Time. I'm sorry, but…if only you had not kept this from me, if you had only thought it through, I...I wouldn't feel like I do now."
"It was stupid of me, I know," Alfred said quietly. "Even – even if I change from this, I can only hope that Gilbert will come ba-"
"He will, I swear it on the Fates," Ludwig said passionately, suddenly fixing Alfred with a fierce gaze. "I won't accept anything less. My brother is strong, he won't let something like this put him down forever."
"He's stronger than we give him credit for," Alfred said, nodding once. "If the Fates won't, he'd do it himself."
An uneasy silence broke in between the two of them, and they sat on his bed quietly for the rest of the evening, a tense air simmering between them.
"Yes, that's fine," Yao said urgently, twisting the lapel on his jacket in tension. "We haven't planned anything yet."
It was another cold evening in Spades, and he took a moment to breathe in his cupped palms before continuing to look at the port.
"No one could have planned this," King Francis said, and it appeared that he had aged a thousand nights in that moment. Yao quickly remembered that he and Joker Gilbert had been close in both childhood and adolescence, and it was hurting him more than he would have liked to let on. "It won't measure up to what they did to my liege and one of my oldest friends."
Yao was about to open his mouth when again he remembered that Matthew had gone to Diamonds for his month of training. The fear of calling Clubs had numbed his mind…
"O…of course not, Francis. But will it just be you? Do Vash and Lili have any other obligations in Diamonds?" Yao continued.
"No, not necessarily. I must confess though, I was planning on bringing all three of us, but with the rebels still roaming around, I'm not sure about who goes and who stays. Vash kindly volunteered to stay back. Just in case of a surprise attack. We've agreed to sleep on it," Francis replied. "I've sent the message along to Clubs. We're to enter a complete ceasefire between countries for now, right?"
"…? Oh, yes, definitely, seeing that Feliciano and Gilbert's states are…less than ideal," Yao said gently, "If needed, we could draw up a crisis treaty once the rest of the Suits arrive Spades."
"Ah, I was going to ask you about Alfie's wedding on the side – and Matthew's condition," Francis remarked, and Yao tensed – of course, with all the coverage, this was the thing most people had on their minds anyways. "Is it going to take place while we're all…congregated?"
"Hopefully – only if he's ready, that is," Yao said firmly. "I wouldn't want to push something on him. And Matthew, well…perhaps we'll talk about it another time."
"Non, non, of course not – and whatever suits you, it is getting late," Francis agreed quickly, blond locks unfurling around his cheeks as he shook his head vigorously – something Yao couldn't do in his older ages, even though he knew he and the king were near the older spectrum of the current Suits, for whatever little it counted for. "Love is absolutely nothing to be forced onto someone. Though he has an idea of whom he's going to choose in the end? Pressure has been mounting since Hearts made their move – or rather ended it."
"I trust him," Yao said, looking over his shoulder to his opened door. It was nine and the boys were probably preparing for bed – it was his duty to make sure they could sleep as soundly as possible. "With the hard times he and Matthew have been having, I want to give them as much attention as I can possibly afford."
"They've been forced into such volatile circumstances, haven't they? Especially in such times," Francis said, his voice echoing over the port. "Hopefully our support can do some good. Well. It's approaching lunchtime here, so I must bid you goodnight, Jack Yao."
"Thank you for your support again, King Francis," Yao said, dipping his head a little for the talk. "I look forward to seeing you next week."
brrr. it's 12am at home and japan is no joke. it's freezing, jesus.
also - i would think that some of you would be expecting ludwig to fully forgive alfred. i feel that even if they have been best friends for quite a while, the fact that alfred was essentially the one that exposed prucan to the advisors, and therefore their grave punishment that's left gilbert in such a state would definitely have a damning impact on his relationship with alfred. as a writer, i think actions should have consequences that scale accordingly to what they are, and i really want to reflect that more in the fic to make it feel more realistic - as previously, things were solved a little too quickly for my taste.
it's getting late and i wanted to get this out as a little present, so i'll do my best for the reviews! thank you all so much for another year. here's to another one! ;v;
reviews, favourites and follows are what will keep me writing, so please go ahead and leave them!