Alex lay in Kara's bed, hugging her pillow as tightly as she could. It had been four days since Alex had found out that Kara liked girls. Four days since she'd had her first fantasy about kissing Kara. That night, she's cried herself out, and fallen asleep, but in the three nights since, she hadn't slept well, if at all. When she'd come downstairs for school that morning, Eliza had taken one look at her, and decided she needed to stay home.

That had led to a fight between Eliza and Kara. Kara wanted to stay home and take care of Alex, but Eliza had insisted Kara go to school. Alex was a little shocked. She couldn't remember Kara ever yelling at Eliza before. Alex had actually had to step in and tell Kara it was okay before she backed down. Kara still hadn't been happy, and her footsteps on the way out of the door were unusually stompy, which was always a sign that Kara was pissed.

Alex had finished her breakfast, then gone back up stairs and crawled into her bed and waited for Eliza to leave. As soon as Eliza was gone, Alex had gotten up and moved over to Kara's bed. Part of her wondered if that was a little creepy, crawling into Kara's bed, but she couldn't help it. She wanted to feel close to Kara, she needed too, and it worked. She'd fallen asleep almost as soon as her head hit the pillow and slept for almost three hours.

She's woken up a little past noon, her stomach growling. She'd gone down to the kitchen, and made herself a grilled cheese, then crawled back into bed to try and get some more sleep, but so far, she hadn't had any luck. Her mind kept replaying the various daydreams she'd had about kissing Kara over and over again and left her on the verge of tears.

She loved Kara so much, but until a few days ago, it had never occurred to her that those feelings were anything but sisterly. Now that she realized what she felt was something very different from what she was supposed to feel, she didn't know how to deal with it. Normally, when she was confused about something, she would talk to Kara, or sometimes, rarely, but sometimes, her mother.

She couldn't go to either of them about this. She was pretty sure her mom wouldn't have any issue with her being gay, but she was pretty sure if her mom found out she had feelings for Kara, she would disown her on the spot. But as bad as it would be, it wasn't her mom's reaction she was afraid of. She was terrified of how Kara would feel. That Kara would think Alex only cared about her because she wanted to…

She couldn't say it, even to herself, because it wasn't true. She loved Kara. Kara was her family. Kara was her home. Kara was the center of her whole world. She loved her because she was kind and brave and smart and because she had the heart of a hero, and because she was strong. Not just physically, but Kara had been through so much, but she still got up every day and smiled, and was just good. She was so good.

This, whatever this was, it wasn't why she loved Kara. This was just something wrong with her. Hormones or something, or maybe she was just broken.

All she knew what that she needed to get her shit together. Kara already knew something was wrong. She'd already asked more than once what was wrong, and Alex had come dangerously close to telling her, because this felt too big to keep to herself. It felt like she was going to choke on it if she didn't tell someone. But she couldn't. No one would understand. So, she needed to hide it, to bury it. She needed to go back to being Kara's sister, no matter how much it hurt.

She got up, and she took a few minutes to make Kara's bed, before she climbed back into her own. The bed, which had always been perfectly comfortable suddenly felt like a prison as she lay, looking across the room at Kara's bed. Tears threatened, and she decided that she could cry, one last time.

Some days, Kara wants more than anything to be normal, just so she can have the satisfaction of being petulant. She can't even slam her lunch tray down on the table, for fear that the tray, the table, and a good chunk of the floor would end up in the basement. Being angry is dangerous when you live in a world made of cardboard and populated by tissue paper people.

She knows she shouldn't be angry at Eliza. She knows her parents would have been mortified if they'd seen the way she yelled at Eliza that morning, and the Kryptonian part of her was a little mortified on their behalf, because you simply did not talk about to the head of house. But Kara couldn't help it, couldn't stop herself. Something was wrong with Alex. Something was wrong with her bond mate.

Kara stopped and reminded herself that Alex wasn't her bond mate, and never would be. No matter how much she wanted her to be, no matter how many sketch books she filled with dreams and fantasies, Alex would never want her like that.

The reminder didn't help. Not even a little bit. Every part of Kara screamed that she needed to be with Alex, that she needed to find out what was wrong, and fix it. Alex might not be her bond mate, but Kara didn't love her any less because of that. Alex was her home, the only one she had left. Probably the only one she would ever have, and every instinct she had was screaming that she should be with her, taking care of her.

"Hey."

The voice surprised Kara. She'd been so lost in her thoughts she hadn't noticed anyone approaching. But that isn't half the surprise she gets when she looks up and sees Tina Lupo, the head cheerleader, standing across the table from her.

"Mind if I sit down?" Tina asked.

Kara wanted to say no. She wanted to be left alone with her thoughts. But Tina was being polite, and Kara was still a daughter of the cadet branch of the House of El. She couldn't abandon her manners, even if they weren't the manners she had been born to.

"No. Please," Kara said, gesturing to the seat across from hers.

Tina smiled at her as she sat down. "Thanks."

"You're welcome."

"So, I hope I'm not intruding. I just noticed Alex wasn't around today, and wanted to make sure no one gave you a hard time."

"Oh. Um… thanks." Kara said. She stared at Tina, not sure what else to say. She hadn't had any idea the girl even knew who she was before today, much less that she knew enough about her to make such a considerate gesture.

Tina gave a small chuckle. "You're confused, aren't you?"

"A little," Kara admitted.

"I got outed by accident too," Tina said. "One of the boys on the football team saw me kissing my girlfriend on the beach last year. I was really worried about it at first, but the other girls on the team were great about it. Them having my back kept me from catching much flack. I know you don't really have a lot of friends aside from Alex, but since she isn't here, I thought I could kind of pay it forward, you know."

Kara smiled at her. "That's really nice of you."

Tina smiled back. "You know, there are a few other gay girls around school. I could introduce you, if you like. I know Alex graduates at the end of the year, and it might be good for you to have some people to hang out with once she's gone."

Kara stared at Tina for a moment, completely taken about by her offer. She'd been a social outcast since the day her pod landed, and to suddenly have someone besides Alex trying to look out for her was both surprising and wonderful.

"I'd really like that," Kara said.

"Great. I'll introduce you to Chantel and Elena on Monday." Tina pointed to a couple of girls sitting off in one corner of the cafeteria. "They're cheerleaders too. I know art is more your thing, but I'm the only gay girl I know in the art classes."

"You take art?" Kara asked.

"Yeah. I'm in the intro to digital art class this semester. I'm hoping to get into the School of the Art Institute of Chicago once I graduate."

"Cool! I've looked at their program."

"You thinking of applying?"

Kara shook her head. "No. I'm looking at National City University."

"Why? If your interested in art, there are a lot better programs."

"It's where Alex is going," Kara said.

A look crossed Tina's face, one Kara couldn't quite interpret, but it was replaced by a smile so quickly that Kara thought she might have missed it, if she didn't have her powers. "You two are pretty tight, huh?"

"Yeah," Kara said.

"You know, I've heard good things about your work from Ms. Rafaque. I'd love to see some of it sometime."

Kara smiled again at the thought. She didn't really get much of a chance to show off her art to anyone aside from Alex. "If you want, you could come over to my place once Alex is feeling better."

"It's a date," Tina said.