hello everyone! so basically, as you might have noticed, this chapter is a bit shorter than the others because what it is is literally an elongated scene.

this one has definitely been one i've been thinking about for a while - i hope you enjoy it! :)

as always, i do not own the selection nor hetalia. these belong to kiera cass and himaruya hidekaz respectively.

This is stupid, Arthur thought, fiddling with his cufflinks for what seemed like the seventieth time. It's cold, we – I should be in the palace, warming up with a cup of piping warm tea, chatting with Kiku, even…they even said it was going to rain tonight…

He had tried to catch a glimpse of his best friend since childhood earlier on the day, right after he had left the jacket and the note on Alfred's doorstep. Arthur was now wearing one of his beloved trench coats, but even thick pants and well laced boots couldn't shut out all the cold inside him.

But Kiku, being the queen that he was, surely had a more significant duty to attend to, comparing with the fact that Arthur was still an Elite and it would be confusing to come out with their friendship that would be splashed out all over media, following the excess of coverage that had been going on since the Hearts had arrived on Spadian soil. Arthur had asked a maid to send a little note to Kiku, but hadn't heard anything back until he had left for the gardens.

Sitting by the blue roses, Arthur took a moment to stare a little closer to them, trying to preserve their beauty in his mind. His golden clock seemed to tick a little harder on his chest as he cupped a bloom, eyes snagging onto the royal colour of the flowers. How much he'd miss this place if Alfred told him that he was beyond forgiveness.

I should have…worn the coat today, Arthur thought bitterly to himself, adjusting his gloves that he'd pinched before coming back downstairs. It still smelled of him before I left it…I wouldn't have felt so lonely while waiting.

All the old doubts came washing over him, suffocating in their starkness. What if Alfred didn't want to see him? What if he didn't want to have anything to do with him?

He could almost see it now – Alfred sitting quietly in his study, pen working over paper as the cold night progressed, his eyes not flickering from the lamp on his desk as Arthur slowly slipped farther and farther away…

But Alfred wouldn't do that to me, Arthur insisted angrily to himself, folding his arms and hugging himself tighter. Even if he hated me, he wouldn't do that to someone.

Where was he, though? Arthur missed him more than words could express – even if only a few days had passed between their last meeting. He missed the sound of Alfred's laughter, the shine in his eyes whenever he talked, the warmth of his hands tenderly holding his own.

And then he was there, almost as if by magic. Alfred was wearing the bomber jacket around his shoulders, holding up a light like he did the night Arthur came back from Hearts, his cheeks flushed in the dark and his chest panting as his blue gaze surveyed the garden, desperate, searching – searching for something that Arthur hoped that it would be him.

"Alfred," Arthur whispered, removing his arms from his body and shakily getting to his feet, hands leaving the bench as soon as he started to approach him. Alfred didn't seem to notice him as he turned around the corner, and that alone sent panic into his heart. "…Alfred…"

Then he turned around, eyes reflecting with the roses – and then Arthur was frozen to his core, everything in his mind blanking for a moment.

Suddenly, this surge of emotions threatened to consume Arthur along with their gray waves as Alfred's mouth parted – he couldn't make anything out past the way his eyes blurred and the way his breathing stilled. His legs shivered, not knowing where to go, because this was humiliating, especially in front of-

"Thank the Fates," Alfred said hurriedly, running to Arthur, and in that heartbeat Arthur felt so self conscious at the way Alfred's fingers faltered and the way that his hands were bare – he hadn't brought any gloves.

"I'm sorry," Arthur said almost automatically, his heart pounding in his ears. "After so long, I should have come and waited for you in your room. It wasn't proper."

"It doesn't matter," Alfred murmured, and Arthur could hear how choked up his voice was. "Just…just let me hold you for a little longer. But Arthur, I wanna know…why did you write that letter and not come to me in the beginning?"

And then the rain started to pour, coming in light sheets, drenching the two of them, but Arthur didn't have any eyes for anyone or anything but the boy in front of him. The rain soaked Alfred's white shirt, sticking it to his skin, melding with the tear stains on it, but Arthur didn't notice the hand reaching out to grasp his own.

"D-Dylan asked me to come home," Arthur gasped, rain falling through his hair, drenching his face. "After that, I…I couldn't face you. I couldn't do it, Alfred. I was so scared that you'd be sending me home, I needed some time to think about the possibility that you'd send me home."

Alfred froze, fear making his hand falter where it was so it drooped loosely to the side. "He…asked you to go home?" In that moment, Alfred knew it was the end. Arthur's devotion to his family was what had gotten him into the palace in the first place, there wasn't anything that Arthur treasured more, a lesson Alfred should have picked up from the fledgling days in their friendship. "I…I see. C-Can you take your letter back, then?"

Alfred watched him crumble, his green eyes filling with grief, and desperately hoped that the rain could disguise his own tears as he watched his throat constrict, his mouth sag.

"I…I understand," Arthur mumbled, blinking rapidly – Alfred's heart sunk at the way his eyes welled up and the tears melded with the train, cascading down his cheeks. The fact that he had caused him to feel this way sent cold shivers down his spine.

Arthur's breathing hitched again when he felt Alfred's arms wrap around him, and cried even harder as Alfred murmured something in his hair, something Arthur couldn't hear as he desperately tried to push him away – this wasn't how it was meant to be for their last time of being together. "Stop…let go of me!"

"Arthur," Alfred pleaded, and Arthur could feel the quiver of his chin as the grip only grew tighter. He waited for Alfred to say something else, but the other boy just held him until Arthur felt himself crumble and he collapsed, sobbing harder into his shirt. The tears were hot on Alfred's skin as he held him, guilt leaking into his heart. "That…that letter was one of the most beautiful things I've ever read."

"Then why," Arthur sobbed, focusing on the stray flecks in his eyes, "Do you want it back?"

"It would hurt, seeing it every day." Alfred said, smiling despite of his soaked face. "I'd be reminded of how I failed you so badly. You love your family so much, Arthur. I can't get in the way of that. I have to put your needs first."

"…wait," It was as if Arthur's pulse had stopped in that moment. It was as if he had frozen time itself – he would have had some difficulty choosing, but he knew what he was doing. The two of them had waited too long. "Alfred, no. That's not what I meant."

"I can't trap you here," Alfred said, almost to himself, as the rain only served to pour harder. "I can't do that. N-Not to the person I love."

"I've said – I've said so many times that I would leave for your sake," Arthur said, one word after another pouring into his head as he took Alfred's hand in his own gloved one, releasing a shuddering breath. "I can't do it this time. Everything that's happened within these months…I didn't lie in the letter. How could I?"

"Arthur-" Alfred began, but Arthur couldn't stop now.

"Prince Alfred, I love you," Arthur said softly, Alfred's face reflecting in his eyes. "I don't know when it started. Maybe that restless night of the Halloween ball. Maybe the time you came back from New England. But even before I was brave enough to say it, before you told me that day in the infirmary, I knew I did. I'm…I'm sorry that it took me this long to say it. But that's why I can't leave you. Call me selfish, but…I need you, Alfred. After meeting someone like you, my life won't be the same without your presence."

There was wonder and something else in Alfred's tone as the other boy's mouth slowly fell open after hearing those three words, but Arthur couldn't stop now. Eight months worth of a love affair were seguing themselves into Arthur's words, things he couldn't say in the letter but things that Alfred had to hear.

"We've been going in circles since the beginning," Arthur continued, blinking away the droplets that had been gathering on his eyelashes. "You've enchanted me, Alfred, and even when I was writing that letter, I knew you'd continue to do it. But it frightened me so, everything that came with being your partner, so I ran away. I was a coward, Alfred, and now I've wasted so much time without you. However…even if you forget my name, even if you lose my voice or we never see each other again, I couldn't live with the regret of not telling you those three words without meaning them. You've done so much for me, I had to…I had to at least tell you for once."

"Arthur," Alfred said, voice trembling as he cupped Arthur's face with his two hands, the warmth pleasantly surprising him. "If we could forget about the process, forget about the royal part - if you could, would you just take me as I am?"

"Yes," Arthur said softly, looking away, but his hands lingered on Alfred's drenched shirt to match his. "If…if things weren't how they were, after I betrayed you, I would."

"You helped me see what I screwed up," Alfred said tenderly, and Arthur's eyes caught on the water droplets catching on the frame of his dark blue – almost black – glasses. "You can do the things I can't, and you make me stronger. You make me shine too, Arthur. And that's why…that's why I love you too, if you'll have me."

All the tension left Alfred's shoulders when Arthur nodded once, and the surprising pleasantness of Arthur's cool hands against his cheek made him melt again.

"Of course," Arthur murmured, his face betraying his shy happiness. "Of course I'll have you."

Arthur didn't even have to ask Alfred to kiss him. Alfred was there already, holding him gently and meeting his gaze with softened eyes. It was sloppy and spoke volumes about their inexperience, but in that moment, Alfred knew he could never let him go again.

"I've tried to do this so many times," he began once they parted, trembling hands reaching inside his pocket, strung with a movement that seemed so strangely foreign yet familiar at the same time. "And, uh, it's kinda unheroic for me to do it while we're both standing in the rain, but…Arthur, I've spent eight – almost nine months worrying about how I was gonna choose someone. And now I have…I want to do it properly. For you."

"Alfred," Arthur said, but bit his lip to try to prevent a gasp coming out as Alfred shakily got to his knee, holding the blue velvet box in his hand, nervousness making his hand shake as he pried it open, revealing it in all its splendor to Arthur. The sight alone was enough to make Arthur's knees weaken, but Alfred's boyish grin sent enough warmth to his system that he forgot for a moment that it was pouring and it was blasted, proper cold.

"It shouldn't have taken what it did to make me tell you how much I loved you," Alfred said in a half sob, half laugh. "But I'm…I'm still thankful. Because it made me realize how desperately, how damn much I loved you. All those times I almost let you go – first, I lost you to my stupidity. Then to the other Chosen, then to myself…and then my country. I was holding back more than my feelings because I was underneath a mask, but you removed it, and you still liked my true self, out of the whole guise of perfection that might even have scared you at the beginning. After we overcame those challenges, I learned how to listen to you better than ever. And I know that's what makes us strong."

"Since I suck at words, I guess I should say it plainly: I love you. Yeah, we may be flawed. B-But, I know that in so many ways, you complete me. And I dunno how else to tell you, to reassure that I'll always be there for you. Your letter, and everything else you've done from giving up your compensation to spending time talking things out with me – that's how I know that you feel the same. So will…Arthur Kirkland, will you take this ring?" Alfred said, looking directly into Arthur's misty eyes.

"Yes," Arthur breathed, trying to keep himself from breaking into too much of a smile. With roughened fingers from years of riding horses and skipping etiquette lessons, Alfred slipped it on – a beam breaking on his face as he realized what a perfect fit it was on his finger.

"That ring was always yours," Alfred said solemnly, holding onto Arthur's hands as he watched him admire it. "Even…even if I had to start over, even if I had to choose someone who wasn't you, the ring belonged to you. That's why I came out holding it, that was if I had to watch you leave."

"I wouldn't take it from anyone else," Arthur said, his voice cracking with happy tears. "Thank you for forgiving me."

"There wasn't anything to forgive, princess," Alfred said, his eyebrows crinkling fondly as Arthur sunk to the floor, holding him close, the rain falling over them, Arthur's heartbeat entwined with his. "But, uh, your hands are cold. Hey, let me keep them warm."

Arthur simply sat there, amongst the roses, and smiled as Alfred pulled his jacket over the two of them, and closed his eyes with a small laugh as Alfred brushed his nose against his, murmuring his name as they met again, in the paradise they had worked so hard for together.

97 chapters. whew. slow burn, lads.

i guess this scene's important enough to not be covered with me rambling at the end, so please watch out for the replies next week! see you all soon .3.

reviews, favourites and follows are what will keep me writing, so please go ahead and leave them!