back to the characters we haven't seen for a while! i miss them too, i assure you ;v;

(also, 662 reviews weeps. who's going to be 666th LOL)

as always, i do not own the selection nor hetalia. these belong to kiera cass and himaruya hidekaz respectively.

"Alfred, oh my goodness," she gasped the moment Alfred arrived in the doorway, and she flung her arms around him – just like in the nightmare Alfred had. He hugged her tightly as he always did, but as Arthur watched behind him, there was some tension in his strong shoulders as he gently set her down with a smile. "You're OK!"

"There's no need to worry about me, Em," he grinned, but Arthur could tell it was halfhearted by the hesitance in his eyes and the way his mouth had stuttered. "Uh, is it OK if I take a seat? I want to talk about a couple of things."

"Yep, definitely, come on, there's an armc – oh, Arthur!" she exclaimed, and Arthur turned away from her green gaze, his cheeks coloured. "I haven't seen you around, it's such a relief to…"

Then she made the connection.

"…Oh," was the only thing she said as Arthur quickly retracted his hand, exchanging a glance with Alfred – which only made it worse. "Oh, I, um, p-please sit down."

"After all the mess, we didn't wanna make an official announcement live without letting you and Alfonso know what happened," Alfred said solemnly, taking a quick seat. "It was only fair."

Neither of you could have been my second choices, Alfred said in his head as he watched Arthur sit down, the blood drained from his face as he uncertainly continued to look away from his friend's face. I couldn't have done that to the two of you. You and Alfonso deserve to be someone amazing's first choice, not my second.

"N-no, it's all right," Emma whispered, her cup of hot chocolate trembling in her hands. "But, umm, could…could you let me ask you of a favour?"

"Yeah, definitely," Alfred said, and Arthur could hear the regret in his voice as he sat nervously next to Alfred, watching her reaction. Alfred had just broken the news to her, and he knew that she would be torn, but it wasn't enough to lessen the guilt. "Go on."

"Arthur…I'm sorry, but can you leave the room for a moment?" Emma asked, and Arthur's shaking legs had gotten up from his seat as soon as she spoke. "It's nothing personal, it's…"

"No, I understand, Emma," Arthur said, walking to her armchair. "I'm sorry. I didn't want to-"

"Hey," she said weakly, and stood up to kiss his forehead. "There's nothing for anyone to be sorry about. I…I'd just appreciate it."

"I'd want the same," Arthur blurted, sharing a glance with Alfred before excusing himself, pressing himself against the wall and slowly sitting down.

The tears came almost as quickly as Arthur's exit – he could hear snatched words of Alfred comforting her, the heave of his pillow as he moved out of his chair, the loud clatter of china making Arthur wince as the sobs grew louder and the guilt grew stronger.

"I'm…I don't want to go back, but I can't stay here without being with you," Emma sobbed, and Alfred said something back that was muffled. "I know that the last three can stay back as part of the royal court, but I can't – forgive me, please…"

"My dear, don't worry. A lot of people don't take it," Alfred said, and Arthur thought that he felt the original bitter ting of jealousy. But he knew at that moment Alfred wouldn't be doing anything devious, and he trusted Emma enough. It was a merciful comfort if she wanted to leave… "Is - is there anything I can do to help? Especially with Louis? If I could fix what happened with him…"

"No, no, don't worry, it's just that I feel so stupid right now," Emma continued. "That I still feel jilted, even when I know you love Arthur so. I'm going to miss you, but I'm going to miss him and Alfonso too. I'm going to miss the cinema, the horses, the smell of the kitchen when I walk past it right before dinner…"

"Em, why don't you start by, uh, telling me what you'd like when you go home?" Alfred's tone was achingly gentle. "Maybe one day, we could go together as friends and say hello to your family again."

"I'd…I'd like that," Emma said through her tears. "Well, first of all I guess Tim would be surprised to see me, but he'd hug me and tell me I've done well. He's got this tobacco laced smell, but it's sort of earthy, different from the many skyscrapers in Diamonds. We have a pet bunny, Miffy*, and Tim loves to scratch her behind the ears. M-My father loves to cook stew, s-so I think he'd be cooking it w-when I get home…"

Arthur heard her break off into sobs again, and was reminded a little of his own homesickness. He knew it would only be a few days until they arrived at the palace for his wedding but even if they continued to stay at the house in Hearts – which was very unlikely since he wanted to give them as much comfort as possible – the memories they'd make at the palace wouldn't be the same.

"I bet your father's a great cook," Alfred smiled, and Emma nodded tearfully, fingers playing with the edge of her red dress.

"Y-Yep. That's why my mother decided that she could depend on him as a husband," she said, trying to laugh along with him, wiping her wet eyes. "She goes to work in an office in western Diamonds, an hour's bus ride away, and she's there lots, but she always comes home to – to see us. Sh-she told me it's quiet at home with just father, Tim and herself, and I felt so bad…"

"I think that your mom respects you wanting to chase after what you want," Alfred said. "If she doesn't, then I'm really happy that you got to chase after what you wanted for so long. You're really strong."

"Y-You really think so?" Emma rasped, sniffing loudly, and there was the sound of her blowing her nose. "After losing Louis, I…"

Arthur flinched, closing his eyes and getting to his feet. This was such a personal conversation; it didn't feel right to be eavesdropping on his friend like this. Knowing that Alfred would understand, he took the lightest steps possible out of the corridor and down to the library, where he knew he could be found.

"Hey, Arthur, you there?"

Arthur jumped up from his seat in front of the roaring fire, and placed his piece of historical fiction as he heard the loud, dark doors of the library creak open to reveal an exhausted looking Alfred.

"I'm here," Arthur said, jogging lightly to meet him – his face was tired, the exact same expression that he had wore before Gilbert's sentencing. His eyes were a little puffy, and his face was pink and blotched. "Was she all right?"

"She…took it hard," Alfred said quietly, and Arthur quickly remembered that Alfred didn't know that he had heard some snippets of the conversation. "I tried my best to make her feel better, but I dunno if I did. Yao said that the last two would be upset, but…that hurt. It really did."

"I'm sorry," Arthur whispered, and let Alfred lean into him between his head and the crook of his left shoulder. "What did you talk to her about, darling?"

"What she missed back at home. It was kinda sweet, talking about her family and everything. It reminded me of what I was like when I was still a kid, but she loved so many things about the palace."

"She loved you too," Arthur echoed, running a hand in his wheat locks. "We all did. That's what's making it so hard for her and Alfonso, and what would have made it so painful if I left. It's not about the palace, Alfred, it's about the people."

"…yeah, and that's why we both feel super guilty, right?" Alfred said, speaking into Arthur's shoulder in the same muffled way. "I can see it, even if you didn't say it, Artie. You couldn't look at her in the same way that I did, right?"

"Yes," Arthur confirmed, his hand stilling for a moment as he looked past the windows of the vast room. "Not only you, but I'd miss Anna badly as well. Alfonso and Emma too, which is why…if I had to go home and watch them be the next Queen of Spades, it would hurt, but I'd be happy for them. Which is why I'm also relieved that she's not angry at me, I think?"

"No, she's not angry at anyone," Alfred said, lifting his head from Arthur's shoulder to reassure him. "Yao said the last few people might be angry at the royal for not choosing them, but Emma wasn't. She's sweet like that, and dealing with rejection's something I wish I could do as well compared to her. But I still want to stay friends, even if she doesn't want to take the job."

"Yes, but you have to understand that it might take time," Arthur replied. "The transition to lover to friend is very difficult, especially after a rejection. You might want to let her adjust for a few months then maybe contact her privately afterwards. But don't rush anything."

"…thanks. Judging from the atmosphere there, I could tell she was putting on a front, but to spare her I didn't want to let her know," Alfred said, expression crumbling. "I guess it's common knowledge that I didn't know how to read the atmosphere, and it's worked against me…"

"No, Alfred, you did it this time for her sake," Arthur said. "I know that you can read it when you choose to, so you tried to cheer her up the best way that you knew how. And it's a lot better than hearing it through an announcement on television and having the whole of Spades – hell, even the whole of Cards hear that she's going home, and having your reaction being caught on television like she's a deer caught in the headlights. You've spared the two of them from a very hard and very public humiliation. That's how I know you're not heartless, that you genuinely cared for them."

"I needed that," Alfred admitted, and Arthur could feel his arms shivering as he pulled him into another hug. "I always could feel that this would be my least favourite part of the process."

"You know I'm here for you," Arthur said, and interlaced his fingers behind Alfred's back, bringing him closer. "You can take a moment before seeing Alfonso. And I'll go with you if you want."

"You were closer to him than you were closer to Emma," Alfred nodded, his husky voice brushing against the shell of Arthur's ear, unintentionally making him shiver. "If you wouldn't mind, would you stay with me? I think all three of us would appreciate it."

"As you wish," Arthur said in return, and held him tighter, hoping that his touch would give him a semblance of peace. "Do you know where he is?"

"I asked him to meet me around the stables at, uh, around four? So we have half an hour to do whatever you want," Alfred said. "Do you have any ideas?"

"Me? Oh, umm, n-nothing in particular," Arthur said, looking guiltily at the book he had left next to the armchair. "I haven't been thinking about it recently, nothing, it's not like that…"

"You're mumbling again," Alfred said gently, pulling away to take both of his hands in his warm ones. "Go on, you can tell me."

"W-well, I was thinking maybe I could read to you for a bit," Arthur said, cheeks pinking to match Alfred's, although he had been crying. "I was thinking about the other day since you said before that you found reading a touch difficult, and if you heard if from me I thought that perhaps you might not find it as dull…"

"Sounds like a plan," Alfred said, and Arthur was slightly relieved that he wanted to find a distraction fro the heaviness of the situation as much as he did. "Why not start off with the one you were reading back then? Ya can fill me in as you go."

"Yes, of course," Arthur said, and the two of them felt a little bit of guilt lessen as their hands linked and Alfred rested his head against Arthur's shoulder as Arthur began to read.

"They called her the Favourite – she had small, almond shaped eyes that were sharpened with wit and dusty roses for lips that hid secrets so distorted that many in the village refused to hear…"

"Hey, Alfonso, if it's OK me and Arthur would like to take a moment with you."

"Hm?" Alfonso asked, and the way his brown hair was tied up with a simple hair band, not settling shaggily around his shoulders brought Arthur back three months to when they had really solidified their friendship. "Y-Yeah, definitely. Do you want to take a seat? I just came back from taking out one of the horses, a stable hand said it was all right. It wasn't your horse, Alfred, don't worry, I…"

He knows, Arthur thought, the sinking feeling starting as he crossed his arms over his legs. He's rambling like I do when I get nervous…this is somehow worse than how it was with Emma…

"Are you sure it's not an issue?" Alfonso said – Alfred had probably something that Arthur didn't catch in his quiet reverie. "Right. UH, I'm really sorry, but I'm not good at small talk. Can we discuss it, if you're cool with it?"

"You being so upbeat means a lot to me," Alfred said truthfully, and took one of Alfonso's hands in his own. "If you could…still keep on going-"

"After I'm gone?" Alfonso blurted, and by the way Alfred's hand stiffened Arthur could feel his shock reverberating around the room. "Uh. I'm really sorry, Alfred. But the moment you told me you and Arthur were coming into the room, I knew. It's OK. I've, uh, prepared since the beginning of the month, you know me, I, I've got stuff ready, I was waiting for you to dismiss me-"

The way his voice broke on the last word made Arthur flinch – he shouldn't be doing this to one of his best friends, he thought as he cupped his mouth. Not by a long shot.

"Alfonso, you know I can't have you as a second choice. It's not fair to you or Emma," Alfred was saying, taking over, telling Alfonso what Arthur couldn't. "The two of you mean so much to me. But I'm just saying that Arthur means more in that way." He was choosing his words carefully; he couldn't stand hurting Alfonso's feelings like he knew he hurt Emma's.

"No, it's all right," Alfonso said, shaking his head. "You can't be apologizing for human emotions, Al. I…I won't lie and say that I didn't anticipate this, it just kind of hit me that you've said it in real life and not in my imagination. It's just a bit hard to process that I'll be going home so soon, to Lisbon and the rest of my family, after these months of luxury, really. I just wish I could have made more a difference as someone that was always in a public light."

"W…well," Alfred began hesitantly. "As part of the final three, we usually give the other two an advisorship position because they're very knowledge about how the palace runs. I'd be honoured to have you here, but I can't keep you here, unless you want to stay."

"…what happens if I stay?" Alfonso said, looking up a little from where he was sitting, faded blue folded at the cuffs and all as his feet shifted. "Can I choose where I'd go?"

"Huh? Oh, uh, yeah, definitely," Alfred said, sharing a quick glance with Arthur – this wasn't something that the two of them expected. "Do you have anything in mind?"

"Art, if you'll have me, can I help you out?" Alfonso said, his misty eyes meeting with Arthur's. "I…since I'm your friend and all, I think you'd appreciate having someone on your side. I'll live up to your expectations, I swear."

"Umm, of course," Arthur stammered – he hadn't banked on this happening. "If…if you're not mad at me, that is…"

Alfonso smiled a little, even though it was a touch subdued. "Arthur, I'm happy for you. So should Emma. Why should the two of us be angry at you and Alfred finding your happy ending? The two of you have earned it tenfold."

And as Arthur and Alfred's hands subconsciously inched towards each other as if the presence of the other could diffuse the sadness of the day, they realised that it might even be true.

*Miffy's the name of a female rabbit/bunny in a series of picture books by the Dutch artist Dick Bruna.

we're not quite finished with emma and alfonso yet though (mainly emma) but i figured it would be a nice place to end for this week.

replies

mi chan kizanami - haha, when you do please let me know! maybe we can go into canonverse and make usuk canon ;D

russia says hello - ooo yep! i kind of wanted to have both emma and alfonso and only their initial reactions for now, but there's definitely going to be something on that within this story. and ho hum gilbert who, i say while sweating profusely

CFAA - gilbert: HELLO GOOD MORNING matthew let's marry; matthew: ok bruh. for lovi and antonio, i think lovi enjoys his work a little too much with antonio that he hasn't had some time to think about it - and i see spamano as an established right from the get go, so i want to give them a little more time!

vivadragnire - "i'm sexy and i don't know it" but they (and me) are still innocent babs for now. patience ma'am

spade sama - awww i'm glad that you're sharing their happiness. anna is just too relatable 150% of the time :V

hearthorse11 - gosh darn you beat me to it. love you too ;)

n kukuri chan - WELP i have to admit that you gave me quite a bit of a shock hours before update, hee. and don't worry! i think you appreciated the break from the constant barrage of chapters, pfft. i guess the two chapters you mentioned initially were really arthur and alfred realizing their values and what they really wanted in the moment - and i think about ludwig i did mention this in several other reviewers comments, but i felt it was more realistic to show that ludwig and alfred's relationship was altered by gilbert's current condition. the two of them feel responsible, so even if their very close friendship is taking a break they still have that in common.

and oh my god, i'm actually going to have to ship boxes of tissues from HK to your doorstep, i feel bad ahah. i felt that it was super dramatic (i tried to not make it cliche i swear) and yep it was! a running joke i had was to highlight every time USUK said that they loved each other in comic sans ms so i ended up laughing, please excuse me. and yep, the next few chapters are gonna be a crunch seeing that it's almost over! good luck with your exams ^^;;

ps:i'm not sure?i listen to some of taylor's really sad songs since she writes a lot of songs regarding love.i wouldn't sayi'm a fan because i don't really care for celebrities, but somewhere along the line i must have listened to it...

reviews, favourites and follows are what will keep me writing, so please go ahead and leave them!