Alex wasn't sure how long she sat out on the beach. All she really knew was that when she finally worked up the courage to look, Tina's car was gone. She still wasn't sure she could hold it together, but she couldn't spend the night on the beach, so she took a deep breath, braced herself, and headed into the house.

She considered going to the kitchen and trying to eat. She hadn't had anything since breakfast, but she wasn't sure she'd be able to keep it down. Not yet. She needed to go upstairs and see if she could even walk into her bedroom without remembering what she'd seen earlier and without the sick feeling that came with it, so instead of going to the kitchen she headed upstairs taking it slowly, trying to prepare herself.

What she found when she reached her and Kara's bedroom wasn't anything like what she expected. Kara was sitting on her bed, surrounded by her sketchbooks. Alex glanced over at the shelf and saw that there were still a bunch on the shelf, but Kara had six laid out on the bed. Before Alex could say anything, Kara looked up at her, and gave her a weak smile, but what Alex saw in Kara's eyes broke her heart.

Kara was afraid.

It had taken Alex a long time to learn to spot when Kara was afraid, because while Kara might admit when she was said, or angry, or hurt, or lonely, or anything else, Kara never, ever admitted when she was afraid. Sometimes, it made Alex wonder if fear was some kind of sin on Krypton, and it made Alex angry, because Kara should be able to admit when she was afraid. She shouldn't feel any kind of shame for that. But what was worse is that the fear in Kara's eyes was directed at her, and that tore at Alex even worse than seeing Kara kiss Tina had.

"What's wrong?" Alex asked.

Kara patted an empty spot on the bed beside her.

"Come sit with me," she said.

Alex walked over and sat down next to Kara. "What's all this?"

Kara took a deep breath. "I need you to let me talk, because this is hard enough as it is, and if you interrupt me, I might not be able to get it all out, okay."

Alex nodded.

"So, something has been going on with you ever since you found out I like girls, and I've asked you about it, but you won't tell me what's wrong. I kind of think I know, but I'm not sure, and I don't want to make assumptions. If I'm write, I might be able to make it worse, but I realized today that I can't ask you to be honest with me about what you're feeling if I'm keeping a huge secret from you. So I'm not going to do that anymore."

"Kara-"

"No," Kara said. "Let me finish. Monday, when we were walking home you asked me why I didn't tell you I liked girls before and I avoided the question, asked if we could talk about it later." Kara reached out and picked up one of the sketch books, and held it out to her. "It's later."

Alex took the sketchbook, and opened it. She glanced at the inside cover, and saw the date was just a few weeks after Kara had come to live with them. This must have been Kara's first sketch book. Alex looked up at Kara, who gave her a small nod and she turned the page, relieving the first drawing. Alex's felt her breath catch. The drawing was of her, rendered beautifully in charcoal. She was behind a window, wooden slats supporting the different panes of glass, and holding aside a curtain. It took a moment, but Alex realized it must have been Kara's first look at her, the moment not long after she and Superman had sat down in the yard, and Alex had looked out the window to get a good look at the girl who was going to be sharing her room. Everything was perfect, the curtain, the shirt she was wearing that day, her face. The detail was amazing, but one thing stood out to her. There was a bracelet on her wrist. It was such an odd thing, because Alex knew she hasn't been wearing a bracelet that day. She knew because she didn't own any bracelets. The only jewelry she owned were a hand full of chokers and a couple of necklaces.

She glanced up at Kara, but Kara didn't say anything, just nodded towards the sketch book. Alex looked back down and turned the page. The next sketch was another moment Alex recognized. Kara had been there about three days, and Alex had woken up in the middle of the night and found Kara curled up in a ball, choking back sobs. Alex and gotten up and crawled into bed with her and held her for hours, telling her it would be okay. The sketch was of Alex, resting her head on a pillow, an empty bed behind her, and that same bracelet on her wrist.

She flipped the page again and again, taking in each picture before moving on. Every picture was of her. Some were moments she remembered, but most weren't. Just random moments through the days and weeks after Kara arrived. She reached the end of the book after maybe half an hour of flipping through it, and in every single sketch, she'd been wearing the bracelet. She closed the sketch book, and looked up at Kara, but Kara didn't say anything. She just took the book from her and handed her another one. Alex opened it, and flipped through, not lingering this time, not looking at every picture, but she got enough to know this one was the same, every picture of her and every one had her wearing that bracelet. After that, she went through three more the same way. She was older in each one and it was always the same. Her and the bracelet. Kara handed her the last sketchbook, and Alex looked through it. The sketches ended about halfway through, the last one signed and dated the night before.

She closed the sketchbook and handed it to Kara as she wracked her brain. She knew bracelets had a special significance to Kryptonians, that they used them in place of wedding rings, but that didn't make any sense. Alex wasn't married.

"The bracelet…?"

"Is a bonding bracelet," Kara said. "The Kryptonian version of a wedding ring."

"I don't understand," Alex said.

Kara sighed and closed her eyes. "When Kal-El brought me here, he barely spoke Kryptonian. What he did speak was broken, disjointed, heavily accented. He used words that were wrong. They translated into the right human words, but he didn't understand connotation."

"What does that mean?"

"If I said 'Jane is giving me a ride to the movies Friday night' that has one meaning. If I said 'Jane is taking me to the movies Friday night' that has a completely different meaning, because of connotation. The first one implies that someone is driving me somewhere, the second one implies a date."

"Okay," Alex said.

"When Kal-El brought me here, he told me I would be joining your family. He should have used the word 'serni' but he said 'uvrreoshi'. Both literally translate to 'will be joining', but they have different connotations. On Krypton, 'uvrreoshi' meant 'will be marrying'."

"He told you that you were going marry my family?"

"That's the way he said it, but given how broken his Kryptonian was, I thought he was trying to say I was going to marry into your family, and since you were the only one my age, I assumed he had arranged a betrothal for me. That when I came of age, you and I would be married."

"Kara…"

Kara looked down at the bed, and when she spoke again, Alex could hear the pain in her voice. "I knew you were angry, that you resented having me here. I thought you were angry because I spoiled your shot at a better match. On Krypton, an El was a good marriage. We had money, fame, power, influence. We were the oldest most powerful house on the planet. Even a Zod would consider marrying an El a good match. But on Earth, I had nothing. No House, no name, no money, no power, no influence. Everything I had your family gave me. I thought you were angry because you were marrying down, but even then, you were so good to me. You took care of me, protected me, comforted me when it got to be too much."

Alex watched in horror as tears started rolling down Kara's face. "It took me eight months to figure it out. You remember that night right before Halloween my first year, when I broke down during the middle of dinner?"

"Yeah," Alex said. She would never forget it. Kara had cried for hours, and she'd been inconsolable for days. When Alex asked afterwards, Kara had told her that it had suddenly hit her that she was never going to get to stand in a temple of Rao again.

"I was doing my homework right before dinner. My history teacher had us watching the evening news and keeping a current events journal, and there was a story about gay marriage and it talked about how it might become legal in Massachusetts, and that if that happened, Massachusetts would be the first state to legalize it. That's when I realized that Kal-El made a mistake. That we weren't going to be bonded."

"You wanted to marry me?" Alex asked, not able to believe what she was hearing.

Kara opened her mouth, but no words came up. She looked up at Alex, and she pushed the last sketch book towards her. Alex looked down at it, and for a moment, she was confused, but then it hit her. The last sketch was from the night before, and it still had the bonding bracelet in it. She looked back up at Kara, suddenly understanding exactly what Kara was trying to tell her.

For a moment, she didn't believe it. Couldn't believe it. She'd spent the last week miserable because of what she felt for Kara, what she wanted from her. She'd been overwhelmed with guilt, feeling like there was something wrong with her, and at the same time feeling crushed because Kara would never, ever want her the way she wanted Kara. But Kara was sitting there, telling her she'd wanted to marry her, that she still wants to marry her. And Alex couldn't stop herself from thinking about the conversation they'd had the day Kara had accidently outed herself, that Kara wanted a marriage like Clark's parents had. One that was a partnership, but one that was also filled with love and physical intimacy.

Kara was telling her she wanted everything Alex had been trying to stop herself from wanting for the past week. It was like a dream and she wondered for a moment if that's what this was, if she had fallen asleep out on the beach. It was too good to be true, but it was happening. It was actually happening, and Alex was almost afraid to believe it.

"You asked why I didn't tell you I liked girls. I was afraid if I told you, that you would figure it out. That you would hate me, and maybe I was right, because ever since Monday, you've been acting weird, like you don't want to be around me, but then I thought maybe you were mad because I was keeping something from you, and I just… I thought if you understood why I didn't tell you, then maybe you'd forgive me, and we could just go back to being Kara and Alex. At least, I hope we can because I love you, and even if you don't love me the same way, I need you. Nothing else on this planet means a thing to me if I don't have you. You're the only thing that makes me feel at home, and I can't lose that. Please, I can't lose another home Alex. I'd never survive it. It's okay that you don't want me like that. I made peace with it a long time ago, but please come back to me. Please."

Alex turned so she was facing Kara and took Kara's hands in hers. "Kara, I don't hate you, and I'm not mad at you."

"Then why have you been so distant the last few days?" Kara asked. "Ever since you found out I like girls-"

"That isn't when it started," Alex said.

"What?"

"It started that day that boy came up to you on the beach."

"I don't understand," Kara said. "You were fine that night."

Alex closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "You remember when Vicki started dating that guy from the basketball team?"

"Yeah," Kara asked, getting more confused by the minute. What did Vicki have to do with the way Alex had been acting?

"You remember how I was in a bad mood for weeks, until she dumped him?"

"Yeah," Kara said, a small grin tugging at the corner of her lips. "Hard to forget. Eliza asked you to drive me up to the art supply store in Coast City because she had to go into the lab on a Saturday, and you said, 'Great, now I can't even have a social life because you decided to open a halfway house for insufferable Martians,' and Eliza grounded you for two weeks." At the time, she had acted affronted, but the truth was, it was all she could do not to lean over and kiss Alex, because she always found grumpy Alex adorable.

"I used to get so angry anytime Vicki went out with anyone. I hated when she would spend time with anyone else. I just, I got so jealous, and I hated it, because she was my friend and I should have been happy for her."

"What does that have to do with me though?"

"Ever since we got close, I've been chasing away anyone who bothers you, and I like that, you know. I like protecting you and being there for you. It makes me feel proud that I can do that for you, that I can take care of you, and I love that we spend all our time together. But when Grant came up to you that day, it made me realize that one day, someone was going to come up to you, and you weren't going to want me to chase them away. You were going to go on dates, and fall in love and… I hated it. As jealous as I got over Vicki going out with boys, it was nothing compared to what it felt like thinking about you going on a date with some boy.

"You fell asleep during the movie, and I sat there holding you, thinking that I was the one who took care of you, who taught you about Earth, who protected you, who comforted you where you were upset. I love you, and wanted to keep you all to myself, to spend every moment I could with you. Breakfast in the morning, walking school, lunch, walking home, afternoons spent talking and laughing, evenings spend curled up on the couch watching movies or doing our homework, nights spent talking, curling up in bed together and holding each other while we sleep. I want all of that, and I don't want to share those things with anyone. Especially some boy who would never deserve you.

"And then, Monday, I found out that it wasn't boys I needed to worry about, and then you told me about what a marriage meant on Krypton and it sounded so much like us. How close we are, how we take care of each other, how we help each other, the way we always reach out for each other when something is wrong. Just being around you makes me feel stronger, it makes me feel like I have a purpose, like my life has meaning. And I thought if we already had that, maybe it could just stay that way. I never really wanted the physical stuff with boys anyway. I hate kissing boys, hate it when they touch me. I thought we could get a place together, and just be like we are now. But then I thought about how you might want the physical stuff, and I thought about what it would be like if we did things like they did on Krypton. I thought about the nights you'd slip off to see your lover, about some girl kissing you and touching you, and I felt like I was going to throw up, but I couldn't figure out why, because it wasn't like I wanted to kiss you.

"Except, as soon as I thought that, I realized I did. I wanted to kiss you. I wanted it more than anything. When I realized that, I freaked out. I went out onto the deck to get away from you, to try to get the idea out of my head, but I couldn't. I just… God, it was all I could think about, and it wasn't just kissing, either. All the things I never wanted with boys, I wanted with you. Kissing, and touching and… everything.

"I tried not to. I've spent all week trying not to, because you're supposed to be my sister, but I couldn't get it out of my head. Once I realized what I wanted, I couldn't stop thinking about it. I couldn't stop wanting it to be me. I couldn't sleep, I could barely eat, because I thought if you knew you'd hate me.

"And then, you brought Tina home, and it was like a nightmare, because all I could think about was that she was perfect for you. She's beautiful and strong and smart and she's into art and I hated her because I was afraid that she'd take you away from me.

"When I walked in on her kissing you, it hurt so much I thought I was going to be sick, and I'm sorry if I made you think I was mad at you. I just… When I realized I feel this way, I didn't know how to handle it. I thought there was something wrong with me for feeling this way."

Kara stared at Alex, not quiet believing what she was hearing. When she'd decided to tell Alex the truth, the best she'd hoped for was understanding, but she'd been prepared for pity, or disgust, but it sounded like Alex had feelings for her, that Alex felt the same way she did. It felt too good to be true, and she had to be sure, because this was Alex, and she couldn't lose her over a misunderstanding.

"Alex, look at me."

Alex opened her eyes and looked at Kara.

"Are you saying you have feelings for me?" Kara asked.

"Yes."

"Romantic feelings?"

Alex nodded. "Yes."

Kara let go of Alex's hands and picked up the sketch books, carefully stacking them on the bedside table. She took her glasses off, and sat them on top of the sketch books, and took a quick look to see where Eliza was. She was in her office, typing away on something for work, so Kara turned back to Alex, sure they wouldn't be interrupted.

"Can I… Can I kiss you?" she asked, and for a moment, the question hung in the air between them. Kara could feel her heart pounding in her chest as she waited for Alex's answer. She'd waited years for this moment, but suddenly, she wasn't sure she could wait another second. Alex had feelings for her. Alex wanted her, the same way she wanted Alex.

She was so swept up in her emotions that when Alex nodded, so almost missed it, but only almost. She wanted to kiss Alex more than anything, and Alex had given her permission, and it felt like a blessing from Rao himself. She reached up, gently cradling Alex's face between her hands and leaned in, covering Alex's lips with her own.

The kiss she'd shared with Tina earlier had been soft and gentle and sweet and exciting and arousing, and kissing Alex was all of those things, but it was so much more. It was the smell of fresh cut dusylgiv stalks wafting over Argo city during the harvest. It was the sweetness of the twellian jam cakes her grandmother gave her when her mother wasn't looking, the tart bite of scarlet berries fresh from market, the citrus like tang of oregus leaves. It was the red sky during the long twilight when Father Rao sat unmoving on the horizon for weeks of Earth time. It was the soft voices of the choir during the Mass of Rao Transitioning, and the texture of the shimmer silk robes against her cheek as she hugged her mother when she got home from work. Kissing Alex was safety and warmth and comfort and a future filled with happiness and joy. Kissing Alex was a relief, like the weight of everything she'd been through was lifted off her shoulders. Kissing Alex was silence, because the screaming cacophony of Earth went away, leaving nothing but the rapid beating of Alex's heart. But more than anything else, kissing Alex was like finally, finally coming home to a place where she was safe and loved and happy.

When the kiss was over, she pulled back and looked at Alex's face, still not quite able to believe this was happening.

"You're crying," Alex said.

"I'm just… I…," Kara stared at Alex for a moment, trying to find words that would explain it, but the only words she could think of would make no sense to Alex, because she wouldn't have the context, so instead, Kara just leaned in and kissed her again, before resting her forehead against Alex's.

"I love you," she whispered.

"You do?" Alex asked, and Kara could hear the insecurity in her voice. She knew Alex always had a hard time accepting that people cared about her, that they loved her, and right then, Kara decided that she would tell Alex that she loved her every single day for the rest of their lives.

"So much," Kara said as she kissed Alex again. "I know it's not the way humans do things, but Kal promised you to me the day we met, and I have loved you almost that long. I would take the vows with you right now. Take you as my bond mate and swear myself to you before Father Rao. You are my heart and my home Alex, and I could never love anyone else the way I love you."

It seemed like it was Alex's turn to cry, because tears welled up in her eyes and spilled down her cheeks. Kara would have worried if Alex hadn't been smiling so wide.

"Are you asking me to marry you?" Alex asked, and Kara knew it was a deflection. Alex's way of protecting herself from emotions that were starting to overwhelm her. If it had been anyone else, she might have gotten upset, but this was Alex, and it was such an Alex thing to do, that it just made Kara love her that much more.

"I mean, technically, we're already engaged, so it's more of a 'I'm ready whenever you are'."

"Engaged, huh?" Alex asked. "I don't remember agreeing to that."

"Technically, Eliza agreed to it."

"Well, I might need a little convincing," Alex said.

Kara smiled as she moved forward, climbing into Alex's lap and wrapping her arms around Alex's neck.

"Can I kiss you again?"

"Any time you want," Alex said.

Kara leaned in and kissed her, and one kiss lead to another and another, but Alex pulled away as Kara was leaning in for the fourth one.

"I love you," Alex whispered.

"I love you too," Kara said, and those were the last words either of them spoke for a long time.