hi, i'm really sorry this is late! long story short, i had a pretty crappy muscle cramp that meant that typing was a strain, and it's also freezing as hell in HK so i just didn't feel up to it. the stuff i had for saturday wasn't nearly as good as i wanted it to be for you lovely readers so i'd rather put it out a day later instead of something rushed and short x.x

as always, i do not own the selection nor hetalia. these belong to kiera cass and himaruya hidekaz respectively.

"I thought I still had a chance, then," Emma said quietly, scrunching her hands in her skirt. "Then Louis died, and I realized."

Matthew had told Alfred everything, after that Broadcast. He had been thinking to go back into the palace gym after the whole fiasco – he could almost see the newly formed chub grow – but Matthew had stopped afterwards and spilled, Carlos by his side.

Of course, Alfred had to (shamefully) admit that he didn't believe it for one moment up to around the five minute mark. Personally, he had never been particularly fond of Carlos, seeing that he had been part of the advisorship since he was relatively young, but after Matthew had vouched for him several times he had decided to listen.

What he had heard was something that he thought that he hadn't wanted to listen to. Yes, he had at least guessed that the advisorship had wanted to do something to him, but Carlos had said that they were trying to take down everyone else. And that meant Matthew. That meant Yao. That meant Arthur.

Then Alfred had realized what a role Emma had played. Carlos had initially just mentioned her name in passing, but then things started to jump out at him. How she usually was relatively unharmed during rebel attacks, how she sensed their magical auras before Matthew or Yao could.

How she managed to not go home after her brother's death.

So naturally, before she went home he had to hear her side of the story. They had found a spot in her room – the place had started to be stripped bare, cheerful walls cast in warm, milky oranges peeling off to reveal the starkness of the white walls underneath. Red and blue gowns folded neatly at the bottom of her closet instead of being hung up, tied up curtains like parcels, a carefully cleaned tea set.

And now he had to understand.

She had started slow, but that alone, made Alfred stop. She had come from a disjointed family – one that had loved her deeply, but Emma had weaved a story of a family whose mother spent hours away at work and then with the Joker rebels, followed by her father as her involvement snowballed, leaving a reclusive older brother to deal with two boisterous siblings, until Louis went along with their parents.

"I guess that's why you could say I have problems with letting things go," Emma said, dipping her head so her short brown hair fell in front of her cheek. "When I was a kid, I got pretty jealous, and it's nothing to be proud of. They said Louis had…well. He was different. He had potential. Tim and I didn't. That's why they tried to send me here."

"But then…why? If they sent you here, then why would you feel for me in…that way?" Alfred asked.

"You've always known who you are, Alfie," Emma said, smiling ruefully. "I don't think it's ever happened to me. When they sent me here, I thought that I had a clear objective, but…one moment I was turning things up, but the other moment I was laughing with you. That's…that's kind of how I felt about you. I forgot about my duties, I was just spending time with you. And so when I lost Louis…I felt that I needed to carry on, mission or no mission."

"Did you know about the advisorship though?" Alfred asked, his calloused hands putting down the cup. "About what happened."

"If I had known what they had done to you, I would have resisted," Emma said – and another pang of guilt ran its length down Alfred's spine to remember that he had let himself doubt her. "You have any reason to doubt me, Alfie. But the only thing, if you'll let me ask is that…what else did they say about me?"

"I don't want you to hear it," Alfred said, his voice becoming a touch brittle as he paused again. "You don't deserve to hear it, Emma. No one does."

"…oh," she said, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear. "I guess it's not something very good. But what are you going to do now? Aren't you going to punish me?"

Alfred laughed dryly. "I don't trust myself any more, Em. Not after what happened with Joker Gilbert. Did you actually try to hurt Spades?"

"No," Emma said, tone clear, but it wavered a little. "But still. The point of this competition was for you to find love, right?"

"And I did," Alfred said, noticing her wince as he said it. Yeah, maybe he wanted to spare his feelings. But the feeling of having to have his brother's advisor, of all people, tell him what she wasn't brave enough to tell him, stung a little. "But you didn't actually hurt anyone in the palace, and along with the fact that we've been seeing other for a while, I guess I don't want to."

"Now you understand why I couldn't take up the post," she said, starting to get up from her chair. "I'd be so torn between my birthright and my duty to the country."

"Emma. I'm gonna fight," Alfred said, and their eyes met. "It doesn't have to be this way. You can serve both. I don't know, but there's a way…"

"W-Wait, no," she stammered. "There is a way, Alfie. The Joker rebels are splitting. They're fragmenting. The reason is, a faction don't want to hurt the monarchy but they only want to repeal the First Law, while the other half want to destroy the monarchy entirely. I can't tell you more than that since the only contact with them was through my parents, but. If there's anything I can do…"

"If it's possible, I'm gonna need you to stay in touch." Alfred said gently. "You've heard in Hearts about the first contacts with the Joker rebels. I'm guessing they're the first group? If you can, you've gotta keep us – me – updated."

"If that's what I can do for you, I will," she said, her lips parting as she rose and pecked him on the cheek for the last time. "I know you and Arthur will make a great king and queen."

"I hope I'm deserving of the hope you've put in me," Alfred stammered, hoping to leave her for the last time with something that she'd keep in her heart as she went on.

Sweat dripped down Alfred's back in rivulets as he pressed his hands against his knees, chest heaving as he struggled to snatch back some of the oxygen that he needed, white shirt soaked as he steadied the punching bag for another round.

Fates, he knew he couldn't talk to Yao about this, about Emma. And he knew Arthur was probably occupied with fittings and things, and so he couldn't meet up with him just yet. So the strings were off, and he'd gone off to his usual haunt to blow off some of that frustration.

He'd began by going off to Matthias' room to find him, but realized what a dumbass he was because he'd made sure that his best friend in the palace could have spent his time with his loved ones. Ludwig was probably busy with commerce and treaties with Yao, and Alfred had done his best to keep his distance.

Alfred's fingers scrambled for the heater in the room that he'd parked next to his station, turning it down a few notches before adjusting the wraps around his hands – he was plenty hot now – and drank out of his water bottle, for once not caring how much water dripped down from his mouth and onto his shirt before wiping his mouth hastily and went back to his familiar stance.

One swing. He heard the clench of the cloth wrapped around his hands. Alfred went in for another one, not caring for the creak of the reinforced chain holding it precariously at the top of the ceiling, the satisfying noise as his fists made contact with the leather and the rasp of his pants drowning out any other thoughts he had stuffed in his mind. He let himself forget about everything that he was holding back, and let rip with a powerful uppercut that made an even crisper smack as it hit squarely in the middle of the punching bag.

He took a deep breath, cold air scalding his throat before he moved again, bouncing on his toes for a moment before the bone of his knuckles met the bag once more. Alfred's face burned, his body radiating heat in contrast to the cold, sharpened eyes focusing behind sweaty glasses as he made sure that each punch meant something. That each punch landed exactly where he needed it to go.

Time seemed to blend in with each punch he delivered, with every grunt that left his lips, and whether it was a matter of seconds or five minutes he was exhausted again. Droplets of sweat beading on his forehead as he wiped it on his absorbent wristband, the only sound in the vast gym being his shoes on the floor and his panting, one that came in short, heaving breaths.

For a moment, his hands stilled at the edge of his shirt – man, if Matthew or Yao caught him all sweaty and kinda gross like this, he wouldn't be able to live it down. And, if Arthur-

Aaargh, Alfred groaned internally as he yanked it a little lower and rifled in the hanger near the entrance for a windbreaker, shrugging it over his shoulders as he laced up one of his shoes and childishly tied a messy double knot, taking a long gulp of his water bottle before preparing to leave. Oh man, that would be so embarrassing. Especially with the weird dreams I've been having about him…

Running a hand through his sweaty hair, he exhaled once before making his way out of the room. That had felt good; between the Deciding and the lavish, rich dinners that they had been eating for Christmastime and New Years, he was a little more conscious of his weight lately. And there was also the fact that he really wanted to build muscle…

Hastily running to his room, jacket left unzipped so his shirt stuck to him, he jumped in the shower without a second thought, the warm water coating his skin and letting him take a breather for just a moment.

"Fates, I knew you shouldn't have gone to sleep so early last night! Prince Alfred was at the gym, and ahhh,"

"No way! Did you actually go in?"

"No," one of the maids said mournfully, "But I was passing by, fetching the mail for Pierre, and it sounded pretty intense! He was grunting and everything! And when he came out…"

"Umm, a little help here?" Arthur stammered, wearily trying to both stop his arms from cramping and to listen on in the gossip. "I'm feeling a bit, uh, tired…"

"Oh! I'm so, so sorry, Sir Arthur!" the first one cried, hands fumbling for her tape measure. "Please forgive us."

"N-no, there's no problem at all," Arthur said, trying to hide the blush on his face. What was Alfred doing last night? He'd been spending time with Kiku because Alfred had said that he and Matthew had state issues to discuss after dinner, and they had parted for the day, but the other was nowhere to be seen at breakfast. Something about a gym; he knew Alfred loved to work out, but…

"Is it all right if you look up a little? We have to see if it works in the mirror," the seamstress said, and Arthur nodded, flushing self consciously as he looked at the mirror in front of him.

Anna had told him that he had an appointment with one of the seamstresses that the Jack had arranged to come to the palace for his suit for the wedding and coronation. At first, Arthur had been pretty embarrassed when they had asked him to strip and left him in nothing but boxers, then immediately felt the chill if his goosebumps meant anything (which in response, they added six heaters to the room.) And then he had to stand around in the small platform, holding his arms out while they measured his waist and his legs and his arms and-

"All right, I think we're done here!" the seamstress chirped. "Right, should we get to the designs then?"

"Um, yes," Arthur said, scrambling quickly for his clothes and slipping his feet back into his shoes, his heels on his untucked shoes as he walked over to where the maid and the seamstress were standing over a rather thick portfolio. "What were the ideas you had in mind?"

"Oh, we got some advice from a Miss…Aileen," she said, beckoning Arthur over to look. "What do you think?"

…doesn't she sound familiar? Arthur thought internally, but let his eyes roam over the pages and pages of gowns-

Wait.

"Um, I thought I was meant to wear a suit?" Arthur said, his face tinted with a perplexed expression. "I, um…I'm confused, I'm sorry."

"Ah…? Oh, I thought you knew what was going on…is there a mistake?" she asked, and the look on her face legitimately made Arthur deflate along with her. "I'm sorry-"

"No, I think it's a problem with the woman who helped you with the other, but no matter," Arthur said, but took a little closer look at the pages – they were more than beautiful. But wouldn't it be weird to wear a gown for his wedding? "They're lovely, and I'd be honoured to wear them."

"Are you sure, Sir Arthur?" she asked again. "It's not common for men to wear dresses on their wedding days."

"Erm, I suppose as a queen, I should follow the more, um, traditional ways, if that makes sense," he said gingerly, and nodded once, determination lighting in his eyes. "And it shouldn't really matter what I wear, as long as I'm marrying someone I want to marry. The pieces you have are stunning already."

"Oh…if you put it that way, it's terribly romantic," the seamstress said, her dark cheeks colouring as she nodded once. "Well then, please help yourself! The maid and I'll tidy some things up while you look."

Oh Fates, this was probably a bad choice, Arthur balked internally as he flicked through pages and pages of the catalogue. Yes, some of these dresses were absolutely exquisite, but he worried that they might have been a bit too feminine – even though he privately thought that even if his build was a little more androgynous than he would have liked, it still wasn't enough for the curves that some of these dressed needed in order to pull it off. What would Alfred think?

What if he's confused about the person walking down the aisle? What if he stops? What if he calls off the whole bloody thing? Will I have to be coronated in some floofy dress that doesn't coordinate with my movements? What if I fall flat on my face? What if-

"And he didn't zip up his jacket and that shirt was practically see through, like the time he went to see Sir Arthur and OH MAY I HELP YOU," the maid continued to gossip but almost shrieked when she saw Arthur's very confused reaction. "Oh, ah, did you see something you liked?"

"No," Arthur said, trying to keep his thick eyebrows from raising in wit, "Is it all right if I ask your opinion on…"

"Yes, I told you they were gossiping about you like you were man candy."

"Pfft, so what if I am?" Alfred grinned, leaning across the doorframe. "I missed you, sugar. Do you want me to come over and give you a hug?"

"It's…it's not like I wanted to see you or anything," Arthur said, but his arms snaked around Alfred's waist, their noses touching just a little. "I…I missed you too…"

"Hey, don't be worried," Alfred said, smiling fondly. "I only have eyes for you. I was thinking about you a lot today."

"Don't say things like that, I wasn't worried!" Arthur said, but closed his eyes, feeling the flutter of Alfred's eyelashes against his skin. "I hope…you've been well, though. They were talking about the thing with the gym?"

"Huh? Aww, that's nothing to talk about really. I wanted to blow off some steam and I constantly think that I'm getting fatter all the time, you know the thing with Christmas and the New Year, and I haven't had the time, so…"

"Alfred, you better shut up right now," Arthur groaned, hand snaking to touch his stomach. "Look at those. Fates, those are abs and if that means you're fat then someone has to move me on a stretcher because I'm too fat. Now come here, you."

"As you wish," Alfred grinned, and Arthur pulled him down to meet him, hands snaking into his freshly washed hair while Alfred's hands cupped the back of his head as it tilted upwards, holding him close.

The two of them had managed to snatch some time with each other after their duties – Arthur had shortlisted a handful of dresses that he would be interested in. Taking some examples from the ladies that had advised him that blue would be both a matching and suitable colour for the queen of Spades, they had all been blue.

Whereas for Alfred, he had been feeling a little sore the morning after his workout session so he'd simply spent a day in the office planning invitations to his and Arthur's wedding, Hero curled by the heater instituted near his desk. He'd triumphantly presented them to Yao who kindly pointed out his eight spelling errors and worrying use of informal language.

When they had parted, the way Alfred looked at Arthur with his softened eyes, rosy cheeks and radiant smile only served to warm his heart a little more in spite of the cold. Arthur gingerly linked his hand with his to lead him into Arthur's newly reinstated room in the queen's suite…

"You really outdid yourself with this," Arthur remarked, letting the awe of the room wash over him. Lavish walls painted in soft tones of blue and violet adorned themselves over the walls, save for the one wall cast in panels of glass with gold outline covered by rich, dark blue curtains so that light could flood in during the day; the best alarm to wake up to other than his future husband. A few pictures of his family, Arthur, Kiku and Heracles from when he was still in the holding facility along with one that Arthur and Kiku had taken together a few weeks back when he was still in Hearts for his friend's coronation lay upon his desk. The familiar blue armchairs lay in a corner, moved from his room, and the towering four poster bed was nothing short of regal.

The two of them made their way to the couch perched at the foot of the bed, and Alfred watched Arthur's eyes linger at the intricately painted ceiling of the room, and allowed himself a small smile. He wanted nothing more than to lavish his fiancé with as many gifts and affection as he could.

"Are you sure you want to stay for the night though? Your room's just next door," Arthur joked, hoisting his legs up so his arms could hug them to his chest. "I suppose you wouldn't appreciate more gossip from the maids about us."

"Hey, it's no gossip we're in love! It's true," Alfred beamed, but Arthur shook his head almost in an exasperated fashion, patting his shoulder.

"No, you idiot, I meant…other things," he said, looking away for a moment, before biting his lower lip. "About consummation before marriage…"

"O-oh, yeah," Alfred fumbled, cheeks painted scarlet. "We don't want to have that, don't we?"

"But we're going to have to do it anyway," Arthur mumbled. "Do you know how to…do it?"

"No, but I guess I could ask Ludwig," Alfred said. "Or Feli, if he doesn't want to talk to me. I don't think you know, though…?"

"Um, we never talked about it back in the holding facilities, and we were supposed to stay virgins since they thought it was improper if we did become royalty," Arthur explained. "I'm sorry, I thought that you knew."

"I'm not clueless about it, but, uh, I'm not experienced about it at all. Although, when it does…happen, I wanna make you feel good, in…in h-however you want it," Alfred blurted, in a muddled set of words that made the two boys flush intensely.

"I wonder what it feels like? I'm assuming it feels better than k-kissing," Arthur said, not being able to believe that his cheeks could get redder than they already were. How did they go from talking about their day to talking about…sex? "But at the same time, I don't know where to start…with the whole blessing thing in Hearts, I suppose it'll be different…"

"Do you want a kid so quickly?" Alfred asked, adjusting his glasses. "We can arrange that, but there's…there's no rush. There's a hell lot of time to enjoy marriage before we have little kiddos running around."

"You love children, don't you?" Arthur smiled a little, in spite of the embarrassment floating around the room. "But you're right, darling. There's no rush, we can just…enjoy each other…"

Oh Fates, the two of them thought, the idea of that's pretty hot.

He just called me my pet name again, Alfred thought joyfully as he took Arthur's hand and mouthed along his knuckles, softened words that Arthur had to lean in to hear.

"Thanks for letting me fall in love with you," Alfred murmured, tilting his head in a comforting fashion. "It means a lot to me, you know. To be able to spend the rest of my life with you."

"Me, too," Arthur said gently, cupping Alfred's warm face with his slightly cold hands. "Thank you for putting up with me. About…consummation, if we could go through what happened after these past eight months, I know that this is just another thing that we'll cross. But if you don't want to do anything, tell me. I won't push you if you don't like something."

"Right back at ya," Alfred said, nodding once. "I guess consent was really ingrained into my head as a kid. That's why I was always scared you'd go – and me not stopping you because I knew I'd never want to force you into anything."

"Darling, remember the night at the astronomy tower?" Arthur started, bringing Alfred's face closer so they were sharing the same warm breath. "That was…probably the most exciting night of my life so thus. If we could have it something like that…I would be very happy."

"So, are you saying we should consummate the marriage in the astronomy t-"

"Idiot!" Arthur huffed, and the two of them laughed. "Please, think before you speak. It's going to be freezing there and I doubt that it would be very comfortable."

"Aww…but we could build a pillow fort and do it there! And then maybe pizza later and I could bring you a burger as breakfast and it would be so cute since-" Alfred said enthusiastically, but was cut off by Arthur's slender finger on his lips.

"Alfred, a hamburger after consummation is hardly romantic," Arthur sighed, but shook his head endearingly. "Well. I suppose it doesn't matter for you where it happens but rather who you have it with, right?"

"You betcha," Alfred smiled bashfully. "I'm really happy it's going to be with you. I'm not scared of it as much."

Arthur leaned in and gently kissed him, warmth filling his body as Alfred tugged him closer and whispered I love you against his lips, the soft rumble of Arthur's laughter the perfect tempo as Alfred gently held him then placed him on the bed, pulling the covers over the two of them as he snuggled into Arthur, the two lovers barely wanting to part. The heater was forgotten as they cuddled together, spending what precious free time they had together that night.

the last scene is up to your interpretation, tbh. MUAHAHA.

replies

sp8cefluff - woo! i didn't know it would take this long, haha.

CFAA - oo how nice! netherlands is an underrated older sibling in hetalia canon, honestly. there are things still (probably in the sequel for now) that i might want to explore - and yes, matthew is to be Protected for now

mi chan kizanami - man, these two, getting in trouble the moment they're alone ;) i think for now, alfred and arthur are looking to stick together for a lot longer after everything that's happened - they cherish their bond and think of it as a product of hardship and something that they've both fought for. and it's my pleasure!

russia says hello - hey! the points you made are great (since they haven't had a full on king to restrict them on the premises, and now burly ludwig, oozing royalty, is here they're having an oh shit moment.) i hope this chpater gave some insight - and jesus christ it is crazy .

spade sama - (your profile picture makes sense according to your comment, lmao.) kiku's great! he's been a constant throughout the whole story even though he himself has gone through so much change.

vivadragnire - hmmm, it would be kind of bizarre for emma to suddenly learn how to wield a sword, but that sounds pretty cool. and alfred was blocked by a certain someone but who is she? i don't know her

symphonylane - the sun, in response to our cries: stfu and ahh thank you, it means a lot! sorry this one was late ;v;

n kukuri chan - your classmates: oh god is she possessed you: MUAHAHA I KNOW EVERYTHING and i don't know, from the earliest drafts cuba had been canada's advisor, but i felt that i didn't flesh him out and he was a pretty side character guy, which was a shame. so i kind of positioned him to express that not everyone in the advisorship is corrupt, something alfred's obviously had trouble grasping and i suspect he's never really trusted him but for matthew's sake, he listens in this chapter. and yep, the cat(s) are out of the bag(s), and we've got a storm coming.

woooo more sequel teasing before i even finish the original work LOL. and thank you for that trip down memory lane! arthur is still as insecure as always, tbh alfred could be shouting from the rooftops at chapter 50 and arthur would be like 'n-no way...it's not requited...' and we'd probably die of exasperation. if this au's kiku actually existed, he'd be writing this in their world instead of me, honestly...and the one difference between it is that he'd cut out 70% of the Alfred Gushing (tm) and replace it a lot with heracles stuff. and he'd skillfully write the consummation scene ;) whereas i'd write something like 'peen' 'LOL' 'cue sitcom laughter'

emma is definitely a different character in the sense that...i guess it's explained better in the fic but there isn't much to work off her canon material, so i hoped at least that she'd be a bit more interested in the side of things and how she doesn't see things as black and white as some of the other characters might see sometimes. and if you think about it, she has the same issue arthur had without telling alfred about prucan about the first place but at the same time it's much more personal, so it's a different perspective and i hope that translates into her actions.

also since chapter 17?! i don't remember when your lovely, rambling reviews started showing up in my email and i had mini heart attacks every time i saw them, aha. and man, we should get matthias, lukas and the rest of the nordics to run a small bar stand at the back of the reception (and unlike most other fics, alfred would be able to drink because the age to drink alcohol's 18 in spades, wink wonk!)

ah i wish i could say more! although it's 12:19am and i have school tomorrow? today? well. it's monday here x

reviews, favourites and follows are what will keep me writing, so please go ahead and leave them!