WARNING: Highly emotional scenes ahead, proceed with caution.
After fitting the Cullens for robes and arranging to have them shipped to Potter manor we all decided to take the floo, Fred went first,then Emmett, than Jasper, Alice, Carlilse, Rosalie, Edward, Me, and George coming last, which didn't shock me, ever since third year the twins had seemed to just take n the role as my guards, it was just the way things were with us.
one would go ahead of me and the other behind, that came in handy fourth year, with the people who thought Harry and i had cheated to get into the tournament. People were always hesitant to cross Harry, but for some reason I was always fair game, one of Diggory's supporter's had even tried to shove me down the stairs once.
The twins hadn't liked that very much, I never asked them what they did to her but by the next week the girl, Haily Marshall, had transferred to the Salem Institute. A lot of the hufflepuff's left me alone after that, and Susan Bones had always scowled in a disapproving manner whenever she saw me after that, she didn't know anything about what the twins did,
but the girl had an even better intuition than her Aunt, and that was saying something. Once George came through the flames I looked at the Cullens who looked around our floo room in interest. "This way," I said as I led them all out of the Floo room.
"Leave your bags, the Potter elves will take them to your rooms, do you want a tour?" I asked as I led them down the hall, past a few moving paintings, which they gawked at into the lounge. "Hell Yea!" Emmett boomed. Esme looked at him disapprovingly.
"Aren't you tired? We traveled for awhile." Edward pointed out. I shrugged, knowing that the chances of me sleeping before I saw Harry were nil, not really, "Harry will be here in an hour, He's at Slytherin Keep, Tom's house. He stays there,
If you Hadn't come with me I would have been living here by myself, if you don't mind taking the tour now, I'd rather you did, so when Harry gets here you guys can just focus on getting to know him." i said, smoothly avoiding answering the question. Esme frowned. "You would have lived in this big house, all by yourself?" she asked, clearly disliking the idea.
I nodded, though didn't explain why. For my last year of Hogwarts, Harry and I had been given a private dorm within the castle, Dumbledore didn't want anyone else hearing of Harry's visions, though all of our friends knew, and by that point no one trusted Dumbledore at all. Consequently I heard whenever my brother had Lovers over
of course that wasn't really a problem, I knew my brother was gay before he did, the problem was my brother didn't always remember silencing charms, and i could have happily died without knowing how hard my brother likes to take it up the duff, thank you very much. Of course I gave as good as I got, I would always joke about trying out the tips I had learned whenever I got around to having a lover.
Harry hadn't liked that anymore than i liked to hear him begging Zambini to go harder. I shuddered at the memory. "Well then it's a good thing we're here, let's start that tour." Alice said excited;y. I smiled and went into 'Hostess' mode, as I called it. While I was healing Narcissa brought it upon herself to teach me Proper wizarding etiquette,
I showed them the kitchen, drawing room, game room, hall of portraits, where the photos of every Potter to ever live were, the house elf chambers, my study, Harry's study, our friends rooms, the potions labs, the door to the Dungeons, though we didn't go in, and finally my room. It was large, almost as big as the Cullens living room, with a large canopy bed.
The curtains tied to the posts with light green silk ribbons, a white fluffy rug laid in front of the bed, a nice contrast to the red wood flooring. On either side of the bed were white end tables, with green crystal knobs that matched the silk holding the bed curtains open, in fact green and white was the theme throughout the room, from the chair by the fireplace, to the Balcony doors that were about twenty or so paces to the right of the bed.
There were two other doors in the room, one led to the en suite bathroom and the other to my closet. Might as well show them my closet first, Alice would go insane, "this is my closet." I said, opening the door and stepping inside, the Cullens eyes widened as they walked in. I knew why,
my closet was the size of an apartment all by itself, with several smaller rooms within that had their own purpose and stairs that led to an upper loft area that held my jewelry. I had a room for ball gowns, a room for simpler dress robes, a room for shoes, and a room for tiara's. The main room holding all my everyday wear. It was unnecessary and I hated it.
"Bella." Alice said. "Whatever it is, no, I didn't even stock this place. Harry and Daphne did it behind my back in fourth year." I grumbled. "If you have this place why did you stay with those monsters?" Emmett asked before thinking.
I stiffened, "Emmett!" Esme hissed. Rosalie slapped her husband on the back of the head while Edward pulled me into his arms.
"No, it's fine. I'll explain. We didn't know about this place until we met our godfather in third year. Unbeknownst to Dumbledore he told us all about our inheritance. I'll tell you the story later, in fact, tonight is going to be story time. After Harry and the others come.
Anyway, we knew Dumbledore would send us back to the Dursleys in the summer no matter what. But Icy told us about a little known fact. The headmaster has three jobs, and to manage his time he leaves the school during the holiday breaks to deal with his work as Britain's representative in the International Confederation of Witchcraft and Wizardry or the ICW.
So instead of staying over the holidays we signed up to go home, that's how McGonagall found out about our past, we needed her onside or else she might've informed Dumbledore that we started leaving over the holidays.
We'd get on the train and than head to King's Cross where Lord Malfoy and Lord Greengrass would wait for us. Than they'd apparate us to Gringotts where we'd use their secure floo networks to get here. But we couldn't do that in the summer without the wards alerting Dumbledore,
So we still had to return to that he'll hole. It was a thousand times worse, knowing that we had somewhere we could go and be safe, yet also knowing we couldn't go there if we wanted to avoid detection." I explained, whispering the last sentence.
Though of course they heard me. "I will never forgive Those Monsters for what they did to you." Edward murmured in my ear. I smiled grimly. " And I'll never forgive them for what they did to Harry, i know, logically I should place myself higher on my priorities list, but that's not how I grew up.
Your not going to like hearing this but it has to be said. I grew up, being told everyday for most of my life that I was worthless, That I'm a Freak that doesn't deserve to live, that I should have been drowned at birth." I said, my voice shaking. I stopped there, I didn't like to dwell on those memories. Taking a deep breath I continued.
" Somewhere along the way I began to believe it. No matter how many times Harry and I told each other they were wrong, it wasn't enough. It's ingrained into me to the point where I'm not sure I'll ever be fully sure I'm worth anything in this world.
There's always going to be that voice, nagging me in the back of my head, reminding me that the world would be better off if I didn't exist-" Here I was cut off by the furious hisses of my family.
I sighed shakily as I realized that I had shared more than I intended to. Me and Harry had agreed a long time ago never to let anyone know that we still saw ourselves as worthless.
They didn't understand us, they didn't understand what we had gone through. They wouldn't understand the moments of overwhelming insecurity we lived through. Days where everything the Dursleys ever told us would come flooding back. Days where we just curled into ball's and wrapped our arms around ourselves as we attempted to physically hold ourselves together.
Those days grew few and far between over the years. And I hadn't had one since Edward and I came back from Italy but I still felt the self doubt within me. It still nagged at me. I sighed as Edward wiped away the tears on my face that I hadn't noticed were there.
Surprise! early upload! i had a great week, my eyes weren't bothering me as much and I had a gigantic boost of inspiration for this chapter! anyway I have some good news, well, good depending on how you look at it. my story Our biggest mistakes will be ending soon, and instead of filling that slot with a new story, i have decided to use that slot to upload a second chapter for one of my other stories., so that means after Our biggest mistakes ends, i will be using the time u usually reserved for working on that story, to work on one of my others so that ome of my stories gets to be uploaded twice a month instead of once a month. now, how Will i decide the story you ask? whelp I'll tell you. when I publish the last chapter of Our biggest Mistakes, i will be choosing the story with the most reviews. (and I mean genuine reviews. dont go spamming the review section with one letter reviews. ) and that story will be the winner. so if you want a particular story to be uploaded twice a month be sure to leave a review. chow!