tl;dr the reason i didn't update last week was because i found out someone had plagiarized a work of mine, and i just wasn't feeling up to it.
yes. if some of you don't read the reviews, basically symphonylane, a reviewer of mine, tipped me off that someone had plagiarized a story of mine on this website called amino. even though we managed to clean up the issue at the end, i still felt horrible after that among other things, and i couldn't bring myself to write anything of decent quality.
i'm really sorry.
as always, i do not own the selection nor hetalia. these belong to kiera cass and himaruya hidekaz respectively.
Arthur had once imagined, all the way back in the first months, how it would like to hold Alfred's hands when he was still a Chosen and Alfred was still a friend. From the moments they had spent laughing in the library, to their first 'hang out' when Alfred was still getting to know everyone else, it had left a glow that permeated his skin.
Arthur just didn't know what it was made out of.
When it had first…started, Arthur had thought it was fastened with infatuation. The minuscule flames tickling their way up his spine every time Alfred entered the room with a bright grin and eyes for no one but him, the times where he'd sit in the Drawing Room with Leon for company, but too preoccupied with staring outside of the window, at the sky where it matched his eyes.
Then it shriveled into fear. After the caning, the confusing months afterwards where one moment he'd be floating with a simple touch of affection from Alfred and then the next filled with fury as soon as he spoke, then curling on sadness when he watched Alfred with someone else, eyes radiant.
When Arthur had frozen time at the caning, the morning after, Yao had told him that the sheer power that he had needed required strong emotions. After the course of all the lessons he'd undertaken, as well as the Trials, it had gotten better – but this was something else.
She was going to kill Alfred. And if he could help it, he'd rather take the bullet for him than anything else.
But as his eyes opened, the silence was so stifling. It was almost as if the image had been frozen before his sight – the throbbing, almost numbing pain still rang strong through his left arm, but other than that there was no other sensation except the sound of his own breathing.
Panicked, he looked to the right of him – Matthew was still there, suspended in time. His head drooped forward and all his limbs seemed to have had the fight sucked out of them.
What will we tell Gilbert…?
It was quiet, as it had been that day. Not a single wave of sound resonated past his ears; not a single word was uttered. Just silence.
Alfred's clock was glowing. It floated off his chest, giving an iridescent blue light, and almost as if it were by instinct Arthur clasped at it like he had during the Trials, clutching it into his own chest with two hands.
"Alfred," Arthur whispered as if the name was sacred, taking in the panic in his face, the way his lips were still parted – it broke his heart to know that someone would even want to target this boy, this boy who loved too much and worked too hard. "Alfred…"
Suddenly, Alfred jolted backwards – though his movements were suspended, so it looked like he was falling in water as he moved around, head knocking against the pistol Aileen had pressed against his head. He whipped around, his eyes wild as he slowly comprehended what was just about to happen.
He reached for Arthur almost instantly, tugging on his shirt and pulling him close, so close that Arthur could feel his slowed down heartbeat as Alfred wrapped one arm around Arthur's shot one and pulled him upright, touching his forehead to his.
"We did it," Alfred breathed, blue eyes electric as they locked with Arthur. "See, the clock's glowing."
"But I'm the one manipulating time," Arthur said, the words hanging in the air as if they were crystals strung up on a wire. "I…It can't last…I have to get you and Matthew out of here…"
"No, it can," Alfred insisted, but as another harsh bolt of pain ripped itself through Arthur's arm his expression deflated and he met Arthur's eyes again, cupping his chin with his free hand. "…I'm sorry, Arthur. I'm not supposed to be hurting you like this."
"Just get yourself out," Arthur said weakly, touching his nose to his as he felt his head go a little woozy and his legs buckle underneath him. His heart ached at how quickly Alfred's arms went underneath his legs and how he lifted him. "Get Yao and let them…let them know what's happened…"
"No, there's gotta be some other way," Alfred insisted, but Arthur's sole hand had let go of Alfred's clock. "Arthur, you gotta stay with me!"
"I…I can't hold onto time any more," Arthur croaked out, green meeting blue for a torturous moment. "I can't. That, or my arm will kill me of blood loss, I don't know if they've gotten a major artery. I only have a few moments left…I'm sorry I couldn't do more for you and Matthew."
"I'll help you out, here," Alfred said urgently, fighting back the moisture in his eyes as he held Arthur's hand so tightly that his knuckles turned white. "Let me help you, I'll k-"
"N-Not like that," Arthur said, smiling a little as he brushed his lips against Alfred's own. "I don't want our last kiss to be something like that. I should have been-"
"Artie, there isn't any more time for should haves," Alfred said gently, running his lips against Arthur's and holding him a little more securely – Arthur felt as if the pain from his arm had dulled, just for that last moment. "I know that I love you. I won't forget you, princess. Never."
Arthur simply shut his eyes and brought Alfred close, hoping that he would be spared a long death.
Another heartbeat.
He started gasping for breath, clear nails grasping at the sheets as he jolted awake, blood red eyes taking in the sight before him. No rustling of the spring wind. Oh. His blanket had fallen onto the floor.
It had made no sound. Was just this crumpled pile of fabric that wa-
Ouch. Ouch. Fuck, that hurt.
Well, Gilbert thought, lifting a hand to cover his eyes. That was probably the weirdest out of all the dreams I've been having. Time to go back to-
No, you can't. Not now.
Gilbert rolled his eyes. Lady, you've been making me stay down. Why aren't you making me go back to sleep today? Am I dead?
Not yet, Joker, she continued, even as Gilbert hauled himself onto his cot again and closed his eyes. You have a duty to perform.
What? I'm useless in this state, Gilbert retorted, resting his arms behind his head. There was something he'd forgotten. He didn't know what it was. Something blondie something bird something Joker or whatever she had called him…
Please, she said, the sound swirling around both fields of his hearing. You would give your life for him but forget to fight for your memory. You can do better than that, Joker. See if this helps you remember.
"OH, COME ON! Why am I in limbo right now?" Gilbert shouted, crossing one leg over another and rolling his eyes. "Hell if I kn…"
A child.
Okay, Gilbert liked children. Nice one, lady. Real nice. He'd give it a cuddle or three, a bottle and nice clothes. He'd call it Fritz.
Gilbert blinked at it, starting to move forward – but to his surprise, the child blundered to him, chubby arms flailing as his feet took small, uncertain steps towards him.
"Woah, woah!" Gilbert exclaimed, quickly getting off the bed and outstretching his hands to reach for him. "Slow down, kiddo."
"Dad!" the child lisped to Gilbert's half surprise, half terror - a child? Of his own? What the…there was no way...he hadn't married anyone or-
"Kiddo, I don't-" Gilbert said, his words overlapping one another, but wrapped his hands around the child's waist regardless. "I'm sorry, but I think you have the wrong guy."
"No," the child insisted, looking up at him with innocent eyes, "Papa said so! He took me up to your bed, and said you had silvery hair and eyes just like mine! You're a Joker, right?"
"...?" Gilbert raised an eyebrow. Papa? Well, he hadn't remembered anyone in his life recently being blessed by the Fate of Hearts. "Well, yeah, I guess I look like that. And I'm some sort of Joker. I'm sorry, I don't know who your Papa is, but…"
"Oh," the child said, and his expression looked so crestfallen that Gilbert felt just a little guilty.
"Sorry to disappoint, but I can try to find him for you," Gilbert offered, but the child shook his head, his bottom lip wobbling and he ducked his head, fidgeting with his regal like shirt.
"No...Papa was right. I'm sorry, I forgot, Dad," the child said, and he rolled his eyes - he wasn't a father! "Papa told me. What happened before I was born."
Gilbert huffed, running a pale hand over his forehead. "Okay, kiddo, you got me. I'll bite. What happened?"
"...wait, one more thing," the child blurted, fisting his small hands in his shirt even tighter, and Gilbert looked him deeply in the eyes, tilting his head a little to encourage the tense child. "Papa named me after you. Is your name Gilbert?"
What the fuck? Lady, what the hell are you trying to do here?
"Uh, yeah," Gilbert said, and the child burst into tears. Shocked, Gilbert gently patted his head as if it would calm him down, but the child sobbed for a straight five minutes until he managed to get some words out. "Hey, kid, it's okay,"
"N-No, it's not," the child hiccupped, and reached for Gilbert's arm, clutching it as if it were a tree branch and he was swaying from it. "Papa...Papa told me why he named me after you..."
"Why?" Gilbert asked, clasping the child close so that his mouth buried into his hospital gown.
"B-Because," the child cried, "You were dead by the time Papa gave birth to me."
"...what?" Gilbert choked, staring at him with wide, frozen eyes. "Can't you see me? I'm okay, kid. I'm just...tired. A lot. And this lady screws with me. She talks a lot, but…her voice is weird. Changes a lot. Is she your mother?"
"Papa's dead, too," the child wailed, and Gilbert pursued his lips tightly - who was this person, this Papa? "The last thing he told me was my name, the nurses said. I...I've only seen his picture. He's only held me once."
"I don't..." Gilbert said, his expression deflating - there was something nagging at the back of his conscience...but what was it? Was it one of her tricks again? "Uh, what's your Papa's name again...?"
"H-He was the Ace of Spades," the child rasped, quivering in Gilbert's arms. "His name was Matthew..."
What, don't you remember? I'm showing you something you can't ever have.
A child.
Then his head started hurting, pulsing and twisting and searing his mind as her voice engulfed him, taunting yet calm. His eyesight blurred until he cried out and fell back, holding a clammy hand against his forehead. His heart was pounding as if someone was treating it like a punching bag, and someone had seized it and was yanking him towards something, someone…
Gilbert. Have a few weeks made you forget? You were able to take on the blessing of the Jokers. Surely you won't lie down so easily. Cards needs you. The Ace of Spades needs you.
"I…I can't hold onto time any more. I can't. That, or my arm will kill me of blood loss, I don't know if they've gotten a major artery. I only have a few moments left…I'm sorry I couldn't do more for you and Matthew."
Who's that? They sounded famili-
It came crashing back and broke Gilbert all over again. Alfred, little cowlick bobbing as he grabbed onto Gilbert's leg, another arm clutching a beach ball as he shouted. Arthur sitting in Matthew's armchair, raising a thick eyebrow and smiling at Matthew. Ludwig, jumping into his bed and crying, fringe falling into his face as lightning roared outside his room. Elizabeta and Roderich waiting for him outside the green tinted hallways, laughter echoing through the space. Antonio and Francis sitting cross-legged at his sides, small fingers linking together in the middle of the beige carpet. Matthew, smiling as he sat at the lip of a well.
Matthew, laughing. Matthew, running his soft hand against his cheek and saying something he couldn't remember. Matthew, wrapping his arms around his shoulders and saying something in his ear. Matthew's eyes, lighting up as soon as he leaned on the frame of his doorway, the cry he let out as he threw himself at Gilbert; the warmth of his skin against his own. The dips of Matthew's fingers against his own.
Matthew.
"Achhhh," Gilbert cried out, a stabbing pain invading his head as a pulse tore through it, coupled with a burning sensation in his upper leg as a moan fought its way past his lips. "S-Stop!"
"Dad!" the child wept, holding onto his arm, tiny fingers trembling. "Are you okay?"
Let him go, child, the Fate urged, and the toddler let out a wail as he was dragged out of Gilbert's hold. He has another destiny than this.
"Leave him alone!" Gilbert heaved, his breaths coming in short gasps. He…he looked almost like Matthew with his innocence – the very thing he had fought so hard to protect. "Take me instead!"
Fight, then! she urged, but Gilbert was too incapacitated to shout at her as the pain overtook him once more. If you have the strength, I'll let you return.
"…to him," Gilbert asked, weakly lifting his chin to look at the murky sky to where his son was being lifted away. "Matthew's gotta survive. Don't hurt him…"
As his field of vision deteriorated, Gilbert held tight on the memory of his imaginary son's voice as he faded back into consciousness, granting him some semblance of strength.
"Arthur, you've got to come with me!" Alfred pleaded, and Arthur could see that he was dragging his feet. The stopping of time…he couldn't maintain it any more… "Grab Matthew and let's go!"
"There isn't any time left!" Arthur insisted, his left arm gripping onto the edge of the table. "You can try…try to get him, but my arm…"
"You know I can hel-" Alfred began, but cut off short when he noticed the blue glow on his clock began to dim. "Arthur, we have to! Spades needs its King, Queen and Ace!"
"They need you most of all," Arthur said, his voice cracking as his right arm let go of the table and he locked eyes with Alfred once more. "There can be no successful country with his king. If we must pay the price, so be it…"
Alfred dipped his chin once, looking desperately at his clock again before shutting his eyes, feet slowly retreating from the room into the hallway. He was about to slowly reach for the doorknob until a shape slammed into him, igniting his clock again with a blue flame.
"Wait!" a familiar voice shouted, and Arthur let his drooped head raise up a little. With his red eyes and disastrous bed hair, Gilbert was not to be mistaken – but the distortion had flared up again, somehow, bubbling throughout the room. "Don't go, Alfred. We need you to help him stop time when-"
The words died in his throat as soon as he caught sight of Matthew's derelict form in the soldier's grip, hair falling over his eyes and limbs slack.
"No," Gilbert whispered, tone suspended in disbelief as he melted to his side, cupping Matthew's cheeks in both his hands, touching his forehead to his. The hospital gown and the gauntness of his body did nothing for the tragic scene. "Matthew…Matthew, how could I have let this happen?"
"Gilbert," Alfred said, moving as fast as the distortion allowed him to, wrapping his arms around Arthur's sides and holding him securely. "Gilbert, we have to get them out of here, now."
"F…Forgive me," Gilbert sobbed, and the area around him started to warp, the lower torso of the advisor encaging Matthew seceding to the walls and Matthew's right arm bending to the side. "I should have been here for you when you needed me most…I…"
"Gilbert!" Alfred shouted, eyes dilating as he secured Arthur with one arm and pulled on his friend's shoulder with the other. "Listen to me! If you get caught up in the distortion everyone will die! Please, help me protect Matthew and Arthur. Please."
Gilbert let his head dither for another moment, hair obscuring his eyes, knuckles white and shaking as he steps back to face Alfred, gaze molten.
"They'll pay," he vowed darkly underneath his breath, and his shoulders stay hunched as he kicks the advisor aside, cradling Matthew as if he was a child as he is released from his grip. "They'll all pay for the things they've done today. All of them."
Alfred looked at him, gaze fixed firmly on the Joker as the four of them limped outside the doorway and to freedom.
That is, until Arthur blacked out.
"We managed to get the bullets out, thanks to the Joker's abilities…but Ace Matthew's still in a critical condition. They got a major artery, and he's in trouble of bleeding out completely. But we should be all right."
"Are you sure that you don't need any medical care, Your Highness?" another nurse insisted, and Arthur could hear the shuffle of the clipboard on her chest. "The princess and the Ace were badly hurt."
"If they had got to me, I wouldn't be alive," Alfred said shortly, and his voice wavered. "I'm sorry. I have to tend to them now."
"Understood, Your Highness. If there's anything we can do, please call."
"Got it," Alfred said, and Arthur let himself take a deep breath, his eyes fluttering shut again.
The scent of apples felt like a balm on his senses as the dull emptiness on his arm pulsed with every other exhale he took.
"What happened when you were…under?"
"It's not that interesting, but, uh, not that much really," Gilbert said, wringing his hands as he sat next to Matthew's bed. The Ace's breathing had become even more steady than when the Jack of Spades had come into the room two hours ago, filled to the brim with apologies and news of the condemnation of the advisors. "I heard…voices. I guess they were the Fates…all the time. I was tired a lot."
"Thanks for fixing the wounds as much as you could," Alfred said, eyes lingering on Arthur's still form. "I don't know what I would have done if I had lost them. Especially with my brother's wound…"
"…" Gilbert simply said nothing, shifting a little away from Alfred until he spoke again.
"Don't you think that it should have never happened?" Gilbert said, his words bitter but his hands gentle as they ran through Matthew's hair like Matthew cared for him only a few days ago. "I'm tired of all these bastards trying to get whatever they want, and they don't care who they're going through, even if they're a monarchy."
"I should have been stronger," Alfred said, looking down and away. "I just…after the whippings, I…"
"Hey, kiddo," Gilbert said, and Alfred almost burst into tears at the first use of a casual name ever since the trial. "You're young. You don't have much experience. There was a small window of time where you'd be vulnerable, and they took advantage of it. They seized it when they knew, and it's a filthy tactic."
"The three of us would have been dead if you didn't show up," Alfred said sagely, moving in small circles on his stool, tips of his feet grazing the sterile floor as he looked painfully at Arthur. "So many things have happened, Gilbert."
"Look, I don't know if I'm fully recovered, but I know I woke up for a reason," Gilbert said, his hands moving down to cup Matthew's pale hand. "And it's not just for Matthew. But I'm glad as all hell that I got to see him."
"It shouldn't have been like this," Alfred said, wrapping his arms around himself and meeting Gilbert's eyes. "I can't fix this, I-"
"We'll have to fix that later, crown prince," Gilbert replied, shaking his head a little. "Listen to me. The other Primary Suits have been notified of the coup, and they're all behind you. Once they get here by tonight or tomorrow, you'll have all the support you need. But for now, Matthew and Arthur are the highest priority. Understood?"
"…" Alfred's head dithered as he looked back at Arthur's sleeping face again – even though it had been wracked with pain at the agonizing hour he had spent being held hostage, it had melted into something of a peaceful expression.
It should have been him.
"I'm not saying that there aren't things that need to be resolved," Gilbert said, raising his head to look outside of the infirmary's windows. "But these two are much more important to us than anything. I know you have to be a king, but you have to be a partner first."
"Thanks," Alfred said, leaning down to kiss Arthur's forehead before sitting back to stroke his ashy hair – there was no mistaking the guilt and love in that one motion. "I needed that."
replies
CFAA - okay but imagine the cliff scene but with matthew and alfred talking about how matthew will cut off imports to the US forever
Russia says hello - a lot of people who have had their flirt of power can't ever really resist the allure. that's probably why she wants to seize it for herself, she sees it as carrying on her family's legacy. lmao, that bit about bismarck made me think about good ol stresemann of the weimar republic...
VivaDragnire - sorry (not sorry?), but it was getting slow :(
n kukuri chan - i'd find it really admirable if you published a reviews trilogy along with spinoffs and a film deal of you just reading it out, haha. although i almost cry with laughter when i see your letters! and well...because FFNet doesn't allow explicit nsfw, i had to work with what I could, but I will say that they haven't gone all the way yet! USUK would be the type to openly PDA but tsundere style (a lot of 'n-no, we're not holding hands or anything' when they're joined at the hip smh)
also giiiirl your thirst for alfred is showing, although i'm not completely innocent in this sense ho hum. also i NEEDED TO FAN MYSELF LMAOO after that sentence amen holy. arthur would be the sort of person to think that growing into the queen's role could be eased by observing previous queens, so that's something that i feel he admires in addition to piper as a person/queen. your mother must be both like 'sigh...is she all right' or 'ooh i see...should i read it? hmm i'll confiscate it for educational reasons'. thank you tho ;v; i'll see what i can do about crossposting nsfw but i'll do my best! (your brother brings everyone to the yard lmfao, did the proposal go well?)
gilbert: wooo i'm a ghost people - but they'd ignore him even if he was one haha. feliciano will be like 'ludwig tf are you reading about in your book' and ludwig will snap it shut, go red, make an excuse for feli to get some bed rest for the baby and discreetly hand it off to antonio, who gets caught by lovino during his everyday briefing, while lovino picks up a pitchfork and knocks on ludwig's door...i think an early friends style sitcom would suit the hearts dynamic the best out of all of the four kingdoms. anna is probably the most successful shipper out there and she knows it!
matthew was probably thinking 'hmm, maybe nyo would lay off for a single chapter and i can start recovering', but then i existed and he lost out :( and oh god, i read this review pretty late at night and i got the bizarre mental image of arthur on fire rock climbing while shrieking, pfft. i swear someone's done a cover of that song somewhere...
mi chan kizanami - gomen gomen oTL i'll do my best to make them happy but no gurantees, the two of them are fighters though so i have faith in them. thanks for reviewing :D
reviews, favourites and follows are what will keep me writing, so please go ahead and leave them!