Nothing could possible bring Sakura down.
In such a short instance, she had come leaps and bounds with not only Kakashi, but herself as well. She'd stop fighting what she was feeling, and really let the man in; body, mind, and soul. She had to admit, deep down there was an inkling of fear—something she couldn't really shake. Sakura chalked it up to old habits, not letting the fear consume what she felt was one of the best things to happen to her.
She had love for Kakashi.
Not in the same manner she used to love Sasuke; that was toxic and draining. She realized long ago what she thought was love was only desperation, longing for intimacy and connection; both of which the man never granted her. He only took from her until she was empty—and then took some more. There was no love in his words, no love in his eyes; no love in the way he touched her, and god forbid she try to kiss him (especially in public). No, this love was totally different; completely opposite and wholly new to her. Kakashi gazed at her with love, kissed her with love, and touched her with love. He was sure, strong, and trustworthy. She was drawn to him, like a moth to a flame. She was attracted to him in a manner she'd never been attracted to anyone before. She desired him like she'd never wanted anyone else, and she craved him to the point she felt insane. She loved his attitude; how feckless he was and that lopsided smile. She loved how smart he was; how he was a man of his word, always following through. She loved his passion for animals, and she loved the tight-knit bonds he's forged with those in his circle. She loved his resilience, determination, and humor. She loved him, she was falling in love with him and she knew there was no way she could simply crawl out.
She didn't want to, anyways.
Long before she knew she loved him, she wanted to be in his space. Being there now, it only felt right to her. Kakashi was right, in that it was as though she was made to fit him. Her day to day flowed seamlessly with his, their conversation never dulled even in silence, and their bodies meshed in a manner so beautiful it nearly killed her to experience it. Even if Kakashi never said the words, his love was proof enough through his actions; in and outside the bedroom. The length he's gone to protect her, make her feel safe, and even provide for her when she was well and able to provide for herself. He never made her feel bad for his actions; he never held it over her head and he never guilt tripped her for it. It was second nature to him, and it was only second nature to her. She didn't understand why she fell so hard so fast, but she was done questioning it. She would ride it out, just as Kakashi had said. She would embrace it, because she knew it was good.
It was extremely good.
The sex was better.
While most people would say she's being biased, Sakura could genuinely say that she'd never had sex like that a day in her life. She understood why those women would go back to the club asking around for him. Sex with Kakashi was a drug, and she was anxious for the next fix. Black burning eyes, big hands gripping her flesh tight, the deep throaty grunts he made that served as an aphrodisiac alone. Sex like that only existed in books, it seemed—yet here she was, practically drooling over this morning's encounter. She'd never felt so giddy and stupid afterwards, so upbeat and positive. Her otherwise constant stressing about the situation she was in seemed dulled compared to the thorough fucking she just got. Everything was sunshiny, bright and beautiful. Even Choji and Lee noticed her behavior, commenting on her sunny disposition.
"You're extra cheery today," Choji snickered, setting a plate of steaming food down in front of her.
Sakura plucked a shoulder happily, grabbing a fork and scooping up glazed meat, "I actually got a good night's sleep—that weed really knocked me out."
Choji chuckled, "Yeah, it'll do that to you. I'm glad you got some decent sleep, I'm sure it hasn't been very easy for you recently—what with the healing and all."
"Nope," Sakura shook her head, her left cheek stuffed with food. "I practically got no sleep, my body hurt so bad. For the most part, everything is back to normal-feeling. I'm just glad I can shower by myself."
Lee grimaced across from her, "I can only imagine, Sakura. I've been severely injured before, so I have some understanding of what it must feel like—just not to that degree. I was miserable for a good while; it really dampens your spirit."
"I'll admit, it started to. I really felt...I don't know, useless? I also felt incredibly bad that everyone was having to help me—I felt like a burden. Especially to Kakashi. But you all really made me feel safe and welcome, and I honestly appreciate everything you and your team have done for me. You just have no idea; I don't know what I could possibly do to repay all of you." Sakura took a long drink of her water, surprising herself with her openness. She never really talked about the deeper things she was feeling with just anyone, but here she was spitting it out and it honestly felt good to her. She'd never really vocalized those darker thoughts. While she had grown to trust everyone on the team, it was something about Lee and Choji that made her feel really safe being open and upfront.
Lee nodded knowingly, "I understand what you're feeling Sakura, I really do. When I had my injury, I was in the same boat. I couldn't walk, I couldn't train—and that killed me-"
"Because you're always training," Choji commented, standing to scoop seconds onto his plate.
"Anyways," Lee sighed. "I was just a body, and the team took turns coming to my house and taking care of me. Someone was always home with me; they took turns staying over. Ino tended to my injury most of the time because she's a nurse. Gaara and Guy stayed over the most, doing anything I even remotely needed. At first, I was stubborn. I wanted to refuse the help, try to get up on my own and pee for myself—I couldn't even do that. The doctor said I would never be able to train again, and Tsunade said that I should essentially retire from being a Shinobi."
"I bet that was hard to hear," Sakura sympathized softly.
"It was, it was incredibly hard. One day I'm feeling really hard on myself, and Guy was there. He gives me this big pep talk, telling me if anyone can bounce back, it's me. He told me he'd see this through the end with me, and he did—as did everyone else. He opened my eyes to how I was acting, thinking, and feeling. I realized that these people care for me, they love me, and they're my family. And that's what family does, Sakura. We take care of one another—like they took care of me. After a while, I started slowly training and, with everyone else's encouragement, got back on my feet. I defied the odds and was able to walk, with crutches first and then on my own. I retrained my muscles and became even stronger because of it—physically and emotionally. What I'm getting at Sakura, is that we take care of our own and you're now a part of that. None of us, especially Kakashi, see you as a burden. We want to see you healed; we want to see you bounce back stronger because of this. That's why I think that, once the dust is settled, you should really take up Taijutsu with me. It's a workout, it's training, and it's therapy. It helps you to process emotions and really clear your thinking."
Sakura started, "Wow, Lee...I don't know what to say... Thank you, really. That makes me feel a lot better."
"And don't feel like you have to repay us," Choji added, leaning back and folding his arms behind his head. "All we ask is that you get better."
"I'll work on that," Sakura smiled. "Kakashi has done a really great job at helping me feel better, too. He's been really...great, through all of this. All of you have."
"That's not a surprise," Lee chuckled, shoving his plate away. "I've never seen Kakashi so...in love...with someone before. Ever, actually."
"You really think it's love?" Sakura piqued, licking the rest of the glaze off of her fork.
Both men nodded in unison, Choji speaking up, "Without a doubt, Sakura. We all sort of love you, to be honest. He just loves you the most, and we really hope that...well, you know. We hope that the feeling's mutual, is all."
Sakura paused, pushing her plate away and leaning back into her chair. Green eyes flicked between the two, a small smirk pulling at the corner of her mouth, "It is."
Both men smiled, Choji winking at Sakura while Lee stood and gathered the plates.
Most of the day passed rather lazily, with the trio propped up on the couch and watching some TV drama. Every now and then Lee would stand to do a quick workout, be it push-ups or sit ups before he'd sit back down. They talked among themselves, and Sakura learned a lot about Choji and Lee in that time. She learned that Choji's dad was a big man, too—and that the love of food was genetic for them. She learned that Lee used to be just a scrawny kid, and he worked his way up to the strong fighter he was now. While neither of the men had a girlfriend, Sakura had a fun time teasing them on what their type was and what celebrity they'd date. Choji was an open book, she'd come to understand. She'd ask him anything and the man answered easily—a feat she was rather jealous of. Lee, while not standoffish, didn't have much to say in the relationship department. In fact, he seemed rather flustered by the conversation, which she found to be hilarious.
"Have you even been on a date before?" Sakura giggled, leaning back against the couch to peer over at him.
"No," Choji guffawed, chucking a handful of chips into his mouth.
Lee scowled, "Of course I've been on dates. They just never seem to really progress."
"Nuuuhhh-uuh," Choji held up a meaty finger, waggling it back and forth. "Bullshit. You just seem to prioritize your dojo over women. How old are you, Lee?"
"27...why?"
"Ah, see. You're getting old. If you don't find yourself a good woman and settle down, you're gonna die alone in that dojo my friend."
Lee scoffed, "That's rich, and so not true. Look at Kakashi, he's thirty and now he's got Sakura. Age is just a number; I've got plenty of time. Not to mention, Choji, you're just as single as I am!"
Choji shook his head, "Be that as it may, I know how to woo a woman. I've been on plenty of dates, I've had multiple relationships—I'm experienced, and I know what I want out of a woman. When I find her, I'll take all the years of experience I have and use it to win her over. You, on the other hand, just train, train, train—day in and day out. You'll never get experience with women in that way, and one-night stands don't count."
"Lee has one-night stands?!" Sakura baulked, green eyes wide. "That's kind of hard to imagine."
"Oooooohhhhyyyyeeeeaaahhh," Choji sang, elbowing Lee chummily. "Mr. Train-All-Day here is notorious for that, believe it or not."
"Could we not talk about this?" Lee huffed, standing up from the couch and striding into the kitchen. "This isn't appropriate to talk about in front of Sakura."
Choji snorted, "Hardly. She's one of us now, so might as well fill her in."
"Might as well fill me in on what Ino hasn't," Sakura laughed, rolling her neck around.
"Ugh," Lee sighed, reaching in the fridge for a bottle of water and twisting the cap open. "She's such a big mouth."
"That she is," Choji agreed. "But a fun big mouth, nonetheless."
"You know what," Sakura began. "You ever think maybe Lee can't settle on a woman because he's already in love with someone else?"
"Mmmmhh," Choji tilted his head forward, lower lip jutted out. "Lee, is this true?"
Lee shook his head, cheeks a slight pink, "Hardly. Can we talk about something else, now? How are your muscles feeling, Sakura?"
"They're feeling-" Sakura's words were cut off with the ring of her phone. She leapt up, making her way to the pick her phone up off the kitchen island; the caller ID flashing "Dad."
Sakura answered cheerily, "Hey dad! What's up?"
Kizashi cleared his throat, "Sakura. Your voice hasn't gotten any better."
Sakura laughed nervously, "Ah, yeah well—you know. The doctor's said that it might not heal, the infection was so bad." Sakura very nearly forgot the excuse she gave her parents about her damaged voice; she told them she got a throat infection so bad that it damaged the vocal box. Neither of them were medical professionals by a long shot, and it seemed the most believable instead of telling them she was strangled by a maniac.
"Mh," he grunted. "Well, I've got bad news, Sakura. It's your mother."
Sakura's heart thud in her chest. Her father was a man of few words, never really letting on to what he was feeling; but she could hear the tremor in his dark tone, and it scared her shitless. "What, what's going on with mom? Is she okay? Did something happen?"
He cleared his throat again, "Y-yes...She, uh..." She could hear him breathing in deeply, a tactic she saw him do when he thought he was alone to collect himself. "She got into a wreck, Sakura."
"WHAT?!" Sakura shouted, alerting Lee and Choji whose heads flicked to her direction with curious expressions. "Is she okay? What happened?"
"She was in downtown New York for work. She was at an intersection and the light was green on her end; she started taking off at the same time a truck came barreling through and T-boned her. The car actually rolled five times with how fast the fucker was going. He came out of it fine, but your mother is in the hospital."
Sakura's breathing began to come in heavy pants, her face growing hot and tears instantly slipping from the corners of her eyes as the panic set in. Sakura's mother was one of the most loving, sweetest people she'd ever experienced. She gave Hinata a run for her money in sweetness, and one tender glance from her and you just fell apart. Her mother was the last person who deserved anything bad to happen to, and it had just happened; one of Sakura's worst nightmares. Her mother drove in and out of New York all the time, and Sakura constantly worried that her mother was going to get into a wreck; not because of her driving, but because bad drivers were a dime a dozen in that city. Her worst nightmare had come true, and she felt shell-shocked.
Kizashi exhaled slowly, "She's at New York Presbyterian, in downtown New York. She's got broken bones, really bad cuts and scratches, contusions, and she's currently in a coma."
"A COMA," Sakura practically screeched, her heart rate increasing and thudding in her ears.
"Calm down, Sakura," Kizashi rumbled. "We're lucky she didn't die; she should have in a wreck like that. The doctors here are doing everything they can to take care of her."
"I'm flying home," Sakura bit instantly. "I'll fly over there so I can see you and her."
"Sakura, that's not-"
"No, dad. Stop acting like that. Just stop. I'll book the next flight," her breath hitched with her heaving, struggling to level her erratic thoughts.
"You can't just take off, Sakura. You've got to consult your boss first, and then-"
"Let me handle that," Sakura decapitated with a sniff. "I'll let you know when I book a flight..."
Kizashi sighed heavily, "Alright, Sakura. Just...just try to relax, okay? Let's be grateful she's alive."
"I'll try, dad...Are...are you okay?" Sakura struggled to hold back her tears, not wishing to stress her dad out more than she was sure he was stressing.
"I'm..." Another long, slow exhale, "I'm okay, honey. Call me and let me know what's going on. I'll pretty much be at the hospital the entire time, so you'll know where to find me. I love you, cherry blossom."
"I love you, dad," Sakura tremored.
The line clicked and ended.
Sakura's phone toppled out of her hands, following her to the floor as she crumpled and began to bawl her eyes out.
Lee and Choji shot up instantly, moving to crouch down in front of her. "What's wrong? What happened?" Lee pressed, stretching his hand forward to clasp over her shoulder.
"S-she got into a wreck," Sakura hiccupped, wiping away at her tears and struggling to compose herself. "Dad said she's in a coma, she's got broken bones, and she's cut up."
"Oh no," Choji frowned, red brows arching in concern. "I'm so sorry to hear that, Sakura. Did he say how severe the injuries were?"
Sakura shook her head, "No, he won't tell me that. That's why I'm going back home."
Lee and Choji glanced between each other, Lee quickly turning his attention back to Sakura, "What do you mean, Sakura? Like move back home?"
"No," She sniffed. "I'm not moving back, but I'm going to fly there and stay as long as they need me to stay. At least until she wakes back up."
"Sakura..." Choji began, eyes wide with sympathy. "I understand you're worried about your mom; I would be if it were my mother. I understand you want to go see her; I would do the same thing. That being said, I think that with everything going on, that's not the best idea. Not until we get everything settled here first."
Sakura started, squinting, "What are you saying?"
Choji sighed heavily, "I'm saying that Sota and his men are still out there. We're getting closer to getting him, but right now it would put you in danger if you took off."
"Nope," Sakura set her teeth, shaking her head aggressively as she stood to her feet. "I don't care. I'm going back to the states so I can see her. There's nothing you can do or say to change my mind."
Choji rubbed his hands together, standing and blowing out air as he did, "Okay."
"Okay?" Lee echoed, bushy brows pinched tight. "That's all you've got to say?"
Choji shook his head and shrugged, hands held up on either side of his head, "You heard her, Lee. There's nothing else we can do or say to change her mind. If she wants to fly to the states and put herself AND her family in danger—that's on her."
"It's not like they're going to follow me," Sakura bit harshly, crossing her arms across her chest. "If I leave early in the morning, no one will even know, let alone the-"
"Sakura, you just have no idea who we're dealing with. We've kept all the going ons with Sota between strictly the team so you won't freak out, but just to remind you: we are dealing with an incredibly dangerous man, in charge of other incredibly dangerous men—who are all out trying to kidnap you."
"I'm aware," Sakura remarked bitterly.
"Then you're obviously not thinking clearly," Choji grunted. "I think that you should really think about what you're going to do before you do it. At least talk to Kakashi about it first."
Sakura scowled, "He's not my keeper. I can do what I want, when I want."
Choji shook his head, "Okay. Do what you want, when you want. It's not like we've all been working hard on keeping you safe. But what do I know?"
"What's it to you?" Sakura challenged. "Why are you getting so upset? It's my fucking mom that is in the hospital right now, not yours."
"I'm not upset, Sakura- I'm annoyed. I totally understand what you must be feeling and thinking right now, but that doesn't mean that we just throw all our hard work to the wind and make rash decisions. We need to consult this as a team," Choji explained, widening his stance. "Once everyone is done with their jobs, we can all meet and discuss what we can do."
Sakura scoffed, "Why do we have to discuss me flying back to the states? I'm an adult, if I want to book a fucking flight back home to be with my parents because my MOM got into a WRECK and is currently in a COMA then I'm going to do it. Why are you making it so complicated?"
"Because it is complicated, Sakura," Lee interjected in an even tone. "Just, how about you go and take some time to calm down? There's no need for all of us to get upset. I'm really sorry about your mom. We'll figure this out."
Sakura rolled her eyes, "There's nothing to figure out."
With that, she did an about face; marching down the hall and into the bedroom, slamming the door shut and crumpling against the door. Who the fuck does he think he is? Did he not understand the severity of the situation? Sakura was a whirlpool of emotions, and she couldn't seem to get a handle on any of them. She felt shocked, devastated, afraid, angry, and ashamed. Though some part of her knew that when it boils down to it, Choji was right: she'd be putting herself in danger if she just took off. Still, panic and desperation blossomed across her chest, making her need to go see her parents outweigh the risk. She would sneak off, if she absolutely had to.
She didn't care.
Just as long as she got to her mother, ASAP.
Being a nurse, Sakura understood that her mother was severely injured; she didn't need her father telling her for her to know that. No one came out of a wreck like that unscathed. Chances are the doctors induced the coma, too, to ease her pain and suffering. She was probably hanging on by a string, and there could be more damage than her dad let on. There could be punctured organs, major brain trauma—standard damages that come from wrecks to that degree. Sakura knew that even if her dad knew more, the man wouldn't budge in telling her anymore than he just did; and Sakura can't live not knowing just how severe the injuries could be. To Sakura, not knowing was worse than knowing. If she knew, if she was there and she could talk to the doctors; then she'd have something real to hold onto and look up to. She'd know what it'd take for her mother to heal, instead of just sitting here and waiting on calls from her dad to update her.
No.
She wouldn't be able to live with herself if she stayed here.
Risk or not, she was going.
Sakura jolted awake, surrounded in near pitch-black darkness. She fumbled around in the dark, finding her phone on the floor beside her and looking at the time that read 10:30PM. She doesn't remember falling asleep, rather just setting her face in her hands and bawling her eyes out like a big baby. She moved to her feet, rubbing her eyes roughly before blindly reaching for the door handle and twisting it open. Light from the kitchen bled down into the hall, and as Sakura was halfway down the hall she could hear Lee and Choji talking among each other.
"- and she told me that he's in critical condition. She's a wreck."
Lee's sigh could be heard, "I can't believe this. We have to go see him."
"We can't leave Sakura here. Besides, she said Himari isn't allowing visitors other than-"
Sakura's phone rang loudly, pausing the conversation in the kitchen and making Sakura jump. She swiveled, going back into the room and shutting the door as quietly as she could. Glancing at her screen, Himari was calling her from her personal cell.
"Himari?" Sakura answered, her voice shaking.
"Oh, good—you're awake. How are you doing?" Himari's voice was tense and strained.
"Um, actually—I was going to call you to talk to you. My dad called me today and told me that my mother got into a really bad wreck and she's in a coma-"
"Oh shit," Himari huffed on the other end of the phone.
"Yeah. I know I'm supposed to go back to work in a week, but I'm planning on booking a flight to go be with her and my dad—at least until she wakes up."
"Mmmh, well I need to talk to you anyways. I have decided that it's best that you don't come in until all of this is taken care of," Himari asserted tiredly.
Sakura frowned, "Wait, what are you talking about?"
"Honey, I'm talking about Sota."
"You...You know about him?" Sakura breathed, shocked.
Himari snorted, "You bet your ass I do. I've worked with your friends for a very long time, so I'm somewhat in the loop. They told me they were going to have everything covered, so I thought you'd be fine to come back and work after you've healed. Well, after tonight, I don't think that's possible."
"What do you mean after tonight? Did Sota show up at the hospital?" Sakura's chest went tight instantly at the thought, her voice tremoring slightly.
"No. But one of his men shot Naruto in the neck. We barely got him stable, and it's pure luck to be honest. It was all a blur, I'm not sure how the kid even managed to survive—but we've got him stable."
Sakura gasped, "Naruto got shot in the neck?!"
"Yes ma'am," Himari affirmed gravely. "He was on one of those jobs and I guess it had to do with Sota because Kakashi told me it was one of Sota's men that shot him."
"Kakashi was there?" Sakura practically shouted.
"Several of them," Himari replied. "This job was a big deal and it got out of hand. They all came rushing in with that poor kid bleeding all over the place. Kakashi told me about what happened, and it just clicked for me Sakura. If you come here and work, even if they had people watching out for you—there's still a chance that Sota can get ahold of you, and I can't risk that. It's just too dangerous. For you, for us, for everyone. We can't afford that."
"Am...am I fired?" Sakura asked nervously.
Himari huffed, "No, don't be stupid. You're just not working until the team has captured that sick man for good."
"How- I mean, how long is that going to take? I can't be without a job forever, Himari. And what about Tanaka?"
"I'll handle Tanaka," Himari stated firmly. "As for how long it'll take, I can't tell you. I really can't. We can only hope it's soon. I have a feeling this man is only going to get worse. I can't have his men coming in here, Sakura. It's damage control at this point, I hope you understand. Once this is all over, you're more than welcome back."
"I guess I understand," Sakura deflated. "Is Kakashi there?"
"I don't know," Himari admitted. "Things have been hectic here, so I haven't really been paying attention. At any rate, I have to go- I've got to check on Naruto. I'm really sorry about your mom, baybay."
"Thank you," Sakura nearly whispered. "Bye." She hung up.
Sakura blinked, fighting back a fresh wave of tears. What the fuck was going on? This morning, everything seemed peachy—and in just eight hours it all goes to complete shit. First her mom, and now finding out Naruto was shot in the throat—nearly killed—because he was on a job dealing with Sota...because of her...
She should have seen this coming.
Kakashi told her that no one was going to get hurt protecting her. Kakashi told her that they were highly trained, that the damage would be minimal, yet...Naruto very nearly died? Because what, he wanted to help? For her sake?
He fucking lied.
Sakura's gut twisted, making her feel sick. Her mind was running a million miles an hour, tears welled and spilled over. Her shame deepened, and guilt riddled her instantly. Hinata must be so torn up, the whole team must be. They must hate her, because if she was being honest all of this was her fault. None of this would have happened had she never slapped Sota at the club. If she just didn't go out at all, if she didn't act like a fucking idiot then this would have never happened.
Too bad she was a fucking idiot.
Too bad she was lied to and she believed him.
Somehow, someway her mix of emotions turned into anger. She was mad her mother got into a wreck. She was mad that she couldn't go into work. She was mad that she trusted Kakashi. She didn't know why, but for some reason she wanted to blame him. She wanted to scream at him that he lied, that someone almost died and it was her fault. Somewhere she knew it didn't make any sense, but rational thought had long left her—leaving room for only anxiety and anger. She didn't want to be here. She wanted to be with her parents. She didn't want to be in this situation. She wanted everyone to be safe, and no one was all because of her. She wanted to relax, tell herself it was no one's fault; but it just wasn't working. Nothing made sense to her, and all she could do was unlock her phone; looking up the soonest flight to New York City.
It didn't take Sakura long to find a flight that was set for early morning; granted, she paid a hefty fee for booking the ticket so late, but she booked it nonetheless. As soon as she got the confirmation, she pocketed her phone and began to dig out clothes to pack.
She felt betrayed. She felt guilty. She felt afraid. She felt lost.
She didn't want anyone else hurt because of her. Maybe she'd stay in New York until all of this was blown over. Maybe she'd just move back for good; throw it all away and go back home. She was confused and hurt, but one thing she was sure of:
She was going to go see her mother, no matter what.