What was happening...
Was this really what she wanted...?
Sakura watched blankly as the door to her hotel room shut; marking the moment that would inevitably lead to Kakashi no longer being a part of her life.
Did she really want that...?
Deep shame caused her gut to twist sickeningly, and she felt the ghost of heartbreak pulse behind her ribcage. Shame for her behavior, shame for her words, and shame for her indecision. Why was this even a question in her head? She loved him...
Didn't she?
Before Kakashi, Sakura felt like she had got a hold of herself, after Sasuke. Before Kakashi, she told herself she was never going to endure heartache like she did with Sasuke. Before Kakashi, life had started to become exciting again; full of hope, dreams, and life...at least, that's what she thought.
Then he came crashing in, like a burning meteor across her twilight skies; crashing on the crust of her heart and smoldering his way through to her core. Burning her up from the inside out, consuming her; causing her realm to explode into a thousand rays of light, stretching their sizzling fingers across the horizon and lighting up the rest of a world she never knew existed. Smiles seemed more genuine, mornings were romantic, and words dripped with a honey so achingly sweet it was dizzying. For so long she ran from it, ran to the darker side of her fears, and remained tucked there like a frightened animal. He ambled in smoothly, cooling her frayed nerves and nursing her heart under a defensive thick crust; revealing molten lava that flowed underneath, pouring over and devouring every dark inkling in its' wake. It was new, it was wild, it was free, and most of all; it was right.
Did she really want to lose that?
As she stood there, she saw it then; the looming darkness edging its way across her world; pulsing toxic fumes that made her sick and bitter. Bile rose in her throat and tears welled hot in her eyes. Was that the woman she was doomed to be, once again? Shut off from the world, throwing her emotions to the wind, and simply existing; nothing more. Kakashi brought life; real, visceral, raw life. Joy and ease, beauty and comfort. He was a strong oak tree, a safe place to tuck among his leaves. He was honest, in ways she wishes she was. He was honorable; everything he did with integrity and a smart-ass remark.
Was she really going to let him walk out...?
Was she really going to let him slip out of her hands, out of her life...forever?
Sakura shot forward, tearing open the door and jumping into the hallway shouting his name, "KAKASHI!"
The hallway was empty, so she knocked on his door, uttering his name brokenly. Slowly, the door opened and Sakura stepped back until she hit the hallway wall; bracing her palms flat on either side. Her eyes widened as she took him in, unable to tear her gaze away from the raw, ardent, liquid expression that swirled in onyx depths. She felt her heart begin to hammer in her chest, her hands began to sweat, and her stomach fluttered aggressively. There stood the man that loved her unconditionally, that only ever sought to protect her, and honor her. The man who took her to levels she'd never reached with anyone else; the man that brought her back down to earth every time. He was the burn cream for her past scars, he was the flames that licked deliciously at her flesh. He was towering, broad, and looming; he was humble, genuine, and loving. Selfless in every meaning of the word. As glittering jade depths locked with powering ebony eyes, she asked herself one more time...
She loved him...
Didn't she...?